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    Wise Selfishness | Part 3 of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness

    enJanuary 04, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Dan Harris talks to the Dalai Lama about happiness and compassion.Compassion and altruism lead to happiness, peace, and strength. Apply it in real life and express more sympathy than anger towards those who disturb us.

      The 10% Happier Podcast featured a remarkable conversation between Dan Harris and His Holiness the Dalai Lama, where they covered plenty of ground in just an hour, talking about anger, wise selfishness and mediation practices. His Holiness expressed that altruism or compassion is the ultimate source of happiness, peace, and strength, while Richie Davidson explained how to apply it in real life. His Holiness also mentioned that he almost never gets angry except when mosquitoes disturb him while he is sleeping. He expressed more sympathy than anger towards the Chinese for destroying their culture. For more insights, stay tuned to the upcoming episodes of the 10% Happier Podcast series.

    • Practicing Mindfulness and Compassion to Manage AngerBy viewing anger as a separate part of ourselves and practicing mindfulness and compassion, we can become aware of our anger and respond to it in a more productive way, which can improve our relationships and overall well-being.

      Anger is a common emotion, but practicing mindfulness and compassion can help us become aware of it and change our relationship with it. Rather than identifying with the anger, we can start to see it as a separate part of ourselves and gain distance from it. Surfing our anger instead of drowning in it is one step towards managing it. The Dalai Lama's flash of anger towards a researcher was actually in the service of compassion, as a wake-up call for self-involvement. Becoming aware of our anger can also help us understand the causes behind it. Practicing mindfulness can also benefit us when dealing with difficult people so that we can respond in a more productive way.

    • Developing Compassion for Human ConnectionCompassion is a skill that can be developed gradually by starting with less difficult people. Through lifelong practice and personal discovery, it can become a lived experience with measurable behavioral consequences. The Dalai Lama prioritizes brotherhood, oneness, and social animals, reflecting the importance of these issues in later life.

      Compassion for difficult people is possible and essential for human connection. Regular people can develop compassion gradually by starting with less difficult people. Research shows measurable behavioral consequences when a person practices compassion. The Dalai Lama's repetitive focus on brotherhood, oneness, and social animals reflects his prioritization of key issues that matter the most in his later stages of life. Practical meditation instructions in the Tibetan tradition involve simple pointers that require personal discovery. Compassion is not a concept, but a lived experience resulting from lifelong practice and embodied perception. Handholding may be necessary for Westerners, but developing compassion is a gradual process that can be learned and practiced.

    • The Power of Practicing Compassion: Kindness Leads to Personal HappinessTeaching kids to be aware of others' perspectives and appreciating differences cultivates kindness and compassion, which translates to better relationships and a happier life. Practice makes perfect, and being kind to others is the best way to fulfill your own interests.

      Teaching kids to reflect on others' feelings, perspectives, and appreciate differences leads to kinder behavior. This behavioral consequence is true for all, and with regular practice, one can train their compassion muscle to deal with difficult people. This is backed by research that shows that being kind to others results in personal happiness. According to the Dalai Lama, being compassionate towards others is the best way to fulfill your own interest. However, the line between sincere and selfish help can be blurry. Nonetheless, being kind and considerate to others is likely to result in more fulfilling relationships and a happier life.

    • The Power of Compassion and AltruismCompassion and altruism are innate qualities in humans and can be developed through practice. Practicing compassion brings inner peace, physical health benefits, and does not mean completely ignoring our own interests.

      Being altruistic or compassionate does not necessarily require purely selfless motives, as our behavior can change over time and become intrinsically motivated. Research shows that humans are born to be kind, and even infants show a preference for altruistic encounters. However, uprooting our learned individualistic tendencies to fully cultivate compassion and kindness can take time and practice. Moreover, practicing compassion not only brings inner peace but also has physical benefits. Scientific evidence shows that training in compassion can lead to biological consequences that promote physical health, such as reduced negative emotions. Being a little bit selfish in the traditional sense is also necessary, as altruism does not mean completely forgetting our own interests.

    • The Power of Compassion Meditation on Physical Health and BeliefsCompassion meditation can reduce inflammation and improve chronic illness symptoms. Happiness has positive impacts on physical health, and cultivating compassion and humility can lead to greater understanding and respect for diverse beliefs.

      Compassion meditation can decrease inflammation and molecules that promote inflammation in the body, which can have a positive impact on chronic illnesses. While cultivating compassion will not cure illnesses, it can change the symptom profile and decrease the severity of illnesses. Large-scale epidemiological research suggests that happier people are physically healthier. The Dalai Lama's focus on altruism even in the face of death is inspiring. In his view, there is a deep connection between compassion and reincarnation. Cultivating respectful not-knowing and humility can help process ideas from those who have different beliefs or worldviews.

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