Where Is Waldo Bobby?

this episode.

Four days left until you can't watch Scary Times USA. You don't want this. Yeah, you don't want that hoodie. This is a good one. This is very cool, actually. You want it. Well, go, if you want to watch Scary Times USA, the live streaming pod that we did, you have to go. For four days left to moment.co slash bad friends. Moment.co slash bad friends. Go watch it before it's gone forever.

You're these two idiots. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. What state is this? This is in Michigan. In Michigan. Smashing beers. Are you being recognized? Are you recognized there? No. I didn't get recognized once. Not one time there. Not once. You got to be crazy.

Did I get recognized and at all? Single time. Not once. At a college frat party. Not once. And look at this, that was the stadium. That's called the big house in Michigan. Oh, do you know what that looks like? Huh. Remember when Bane took off that football field? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I wish that would happen there. They did a fight. How great would it have been? If Bane showed up and with a nuclear, you know what I mean? What would you have done? What would you have done? Nothing. You're not Batman. You're nothing.

Sorry. I went crazy, sorry. It was so funny. Yeah, sorry. Made a great time. Good job. Fantastic. What did you do this weekend? Nothing. I saw a movie. What'd you say? Oh my God. In the mood for love, you ever see it? One car, why? Beautiful movie. One of my favorite movies now. What a movie. What do you find time? In the mood for love, dude. Look at this thing. Two chinks in love. That's what they should have called.

No, no. You know, I'll tell you about this movie. Two Edamame. This movie is so subtle. It's so subtle. And like in the beginning, I was like, oh, I'm done. I hate this. It's boring, right? I don't even know. So have we doing like, what's going on here? But when you figure out what's going on, it's just so nice. It's about forbidden love, dude. The kind of love that you and I have. It's so forbidden. No, it's bitten.

No, it's not. It's not been ended. It's ours is very good. It's about two people that they know they can't link up, so they never do, but there's such love there. Because they're married or something? Yeah, they're both married, right? And it's like... What do they work together? No, they just they're neighbors. Oh my God, that's an angel story. And their couples are cheating.

Oh, they're going to Japan. They took a trip to Japan. And so now these two are like in this, you know, I mean, like a complex living next to each other. And they reenact, you know, mean how their their spouses got together so they would.

go through the dialogue and scenarios and stuff right there. And then through the process, they fall in love, but at the end, they don't link up. And it's like, it's so sweet. It's like, I have fantasies of like your pink butthole, right? And my penis, right? And it's vibrating.

Yeah, like shivering and mind shivering, right? But it doesn't enter. That's what we have. Well, there's like, it can't. It's unforbittant. And magnets are both the same charge. Exactly. You know what I mean? Right. Right. I want to switch the maggot. You, the maggot, the maggot. No, you call your penis a maggot. It's sucked in, but I don't. Can't be. It's the same. You and I have the same thing, dude. It's forbidden a lot. We're both pluses.

I'm a minus. You're a yes. You know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a minus. You're a minus. So does this guy, though his neighbor, the woman he's actually in love with, does she look like his wife?

Here's the interesting part of the movie. You never see their couples. You always see the backside of their back or their voice. You never see them because it makes the audience not have any sympathy for them. Right, right. And so you're only focused on these two. And then like six years later, there's one scene where this dude goes, what's what you're laughing? Because it's got to be something funny coming up. Oh, this is all boring? Yeah.

No, no, no, no. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene. One scene.

I know, I listened to that whole Michigan, Michigan. It was like five seconds. I didn't like it. You know what I mean? I don't like that. What was that? What was that? Here on the shoulder, all right, drinking, drinking. Let's go. Jealousy? Not jealousy. It's always the time. He was swarmed with young women. Running up to him, all these college girls goes, McCone, McCone. Dude, he was recognized by hundreds of young, beautiful college girls begging for McCone. I thought you said that you weren't recognized.

I said, I wasn't. You were recognized. He was from bad friends. All day, all day long. And then, because you weren't around, probably. Huh? Oh, I know what you were doing. What do you mean I wasn't around? We were together. I know what you were doing. I took that video. I know what you were doing, dude. You do that thing. What am I doing? Machismo.

What's machismo? It's that confident thing where, you know, with that lady at the Tuesday night said, when you're on the stage, it's like this, you know, come on. Machismo? It's like this, I'm stoic, I'm a star, they get afraid. Where I'm more open, like more of an open book. Are you saying I didn't get approached because of my machismo?

No one knew who I was. Star power. Nobody knew who I was. How do they know him then? Of course I got to approach you fucking moron. A million people took pictures with me. I'm the king, bitch. That's what I thought. Can I finish my thing then? Yes, dude. God damn, dude. Actually, it was rad. The young kids that came up that love bad friends, and you know how many times, what did I hear? A thousand times. Where's Bobby? A thousand times, where's Bobby? Where's Waldo? You are my where they're looking for you, baby. I'm more like Waldo.

No, they're everywhere. They're everywhere. It's like, is Bobby with you? Is Bobby with you? They were freaking out. Anyway, I want somebody to draw like a where's Waldo, but with me in it. Where's Bobby? That's a good idea. That'd be fun. Put pandas in it. It'll be called, where's Bobby? The comma, there's Andrew. And I just a tall red guy standing out of a little crowd. It'll be a sea of Asians. Where's Bobby? And there's Andrew.

Yeah, finish this movie though. Oh, so he goes, um, I'm in love with it. I got to leave, right? He said that to the girl. Yeah. And he worked. Where does he go? Where we're going? Singapore. Really? Yeah, he goes to Singapore. And like months passed by, he's trying to forget about her. So he's seeing other women now? No, he's. No, this wife.

No, his wife is gone. She died. No, they're separated. They stop talking about her in the movie, right? Yeah, they stop talking about her in the movie. And he's out with a friend at a bar or whatever. And then while he's out with a friend, she flies to Singapore.

is the new, the love, the unrequited love. She smokes a cigarette. Does she know he's there? Yeah. She knows she's in her plate. She smokes a cigarette, right? And then he kept one of her slippers, his slippers that he, you know, I mean, to remind, she takes a slipper and she just leaves. So he comes back and he looks at the cigarette and you know, there's lipstick on it. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. And he sees he can't find the slippers. So he knows she was there, but he never sees her again in the whole, in her life.

What are you being real right now? That's wow. That that was a stunning. I mean, I'm serious and then five years later. She died. No, no, no, it should not smoke five years later. Let me finish it. Fuck me. I miss you. I know I can't believe you visited me in the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. I have a cancer. Yeah. Yeah.

So the last scene of the movie, right? Six years later, she goes back to the apartment building. Now she has a kid. We don't know who the kid's from. Not the same, not her ex-husband. You could have been from ex-husband. We don't know. We don't know, right? And she wanted to visit the lady that rented her this place, because she knew that she was leaving. And so from her apartment, or from where she was, she can look into where his bedroom was outside. He just happens to visit.

You know what I mean? And they see each other through the window on these opposite kind of apartments. Yeah. And he goes like, he kind of does this. And she goes, and tears just start rolling down her eyes, but they don't link up. Oh, it's just in the mood for love, baby. And that's what I want. You're in the mood for love? I'm in the mood for love, dude. And that's the kind of romance I want. No, you actually want to be with someone. No, no, I want, like, like in Paris, Texas,

I love movies where it doesn't work. Is this a metaphor for your life? Or is that what you want? You don't want that? It makes love more mysterious. But it's infinitely sad. I know, but I like the longing. Like Dr. Javago, where he reaches her and then he died. I just love the longing. I love the devastation. I like being out in my backyard by myself on the lawn chair like I do with a cigarette and I long for love.

That's how I wish it can be. That's how I wish I can copy it. Say it right! Say it right! When I'm in my mood, I'm in a good mood. I'm in a love mood. Say it right! Would you say when you're sitting on the lawn with your cigarette on your lawn chair? It's more that you're shorting, more so than longing. When you're on a lawn chair, your legs don't go to the bottom, do they? They don't. That's so funny. How hard is it for you to lift the back up? Sometimes I can't even lift it.

That's like, I can't, yeah, I can't, yeah. You're longing for love, but I think you deserve real love. I don't want, I want you to find- I don't think it's real. Yes it is. It's not. What do you mean it's not real? It's not real. Love in general? I don't think it is. Well, there's different levels of love. I believe that. We talked about this in the car ride. Being in love is a phrase I think is conflated by society to be this. Who knows what that means? But you've loved, you've loved your exes.

That's all love. And then it ultimately never worked out. That's okay. That doesn't love doesn't owe a shorting. I mean, there was a shorting. There's a shorting. The shorting, Bobby. I know, but I haven't met the mysterious one, but it's coming. It may. That's what I like about it. That's the longing. Yeah. Like, I met somebody, but she used to see somebody that we know.

That's tough. I know, but did they date or they hooked up? They would date it. And in my mind, I'm like, that's exactly what I wouldn't want. She doesn't like me, but that's the kind of girl I want. How do you know she doesn't like you? I can just tell. But just everything about her in terms of what I heard her say, her vibe, her everything. God, I want to know who it is so bad. I can't tell you. Not on the air. I'll never tell you. Really? Yeah, because it's a shorting dude.

This is the mood for love right now. And it's like, it's a it's a shorting situation. And it's like, you cannot know this. Sometimes when you're at an airport too, right? Yeah. Many times it's five or six times in my life where a girl will walk by, she'll lock eyes with you and she'll smile and she's beautiful and I'll smile, right? And there's an instant and you'll never see them again. That's awesome. It's so beautiful.

I had a girl today, I went and opened my suitcase to get my charger out right behind me, and I looked up and she was gorgeous. And I just politely gave her a smile. Just politely, like one of these. Did she smile? And she went like this.

No, that's not good. No, it wasn't good. I got a million of those. Yeah, those I'm used to. But I wasn't even a smile because I am awkwardly unzipping in the tarmac, Arnold. And so I'm like, sorry, like a sorry face, like sorry. And she looked away as if peasant pig. To me, they don't even pretend to like they'll look at me in the go.

Not a shot, right? And you're like, okay, I'll relax. I was just looking, you know. Yeah, she gave me that look like, hurry up, you fucking potato- White. He says, pink fuck. I mean, she was gorgeous. And she just looked down on me so obviously. I was such a little pig. By the way, shout out to Muhammad who works at the Detroit airport. Big fan of the show. He goes, will you please shout out me out on the podcast? I said, no, but I'm gonna. He goes, Muhammad, it's easy to remember. I said this most common name in the world. Of course I'll remember my- Give me a kiss, Muslim.

Huh? Muslim? Puerto Rican. Wow. Yeah, Tony would have hated this guy. Yeah, Tony. Keep that in. Yeah. No, no. But my therapist said, my therapist said Thursday to me. She goes, I go, well, you know, the girls that I like don't like me. And she goes, but you do the same to them. Like, what do you mean? You know what she means. What do you think I mean? Because you probably

You probably like the wrong girls. Okay, continue. There's many women, I believe, who probably come and enter your life in different fashions, and they're probably pretty right for you. Yeah. But you want the other one. You want the one that's probably not. There's a danger, you know what I mean? It's also like, you know, some girls are like, oh, he's short, you know what I mean? Pudgy, this and that. No. And I do the same to them, too, physically. She's short and pudgy.

Yeah, so I don't like it, you know what I mean? So my point is is that there was this one girl I met and she was prepared, you know, good, you know, more than average, I guess. But she does things like, you know, you can see like her feeding the homeless and she's like, you know, there was this old man that lost his wife and she visited this old man every day for like a year. What a nice person. I played chess with him. And you don't like this girl? No, I mean, to me it's like, I was like, boring!

No time for fucking you know, but my point is is that in my mind I'm like this is what I should be going for right, but you know you are going for You know that shit ladies and gentlemen diamond coming to the stage

That's like they don't help the homeless. You're looking for, what you're chasing after is Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob Sorton. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm calling for, dude. But we don't want that. It's not feasible. It is feasible. It's not gonna be a long term.

but you might not have a lot of time left. That's what I'm saying. Right, so let's find real love. No, no, no, why don't we just do the move for love and just be in this. It's better to burn out than to fade away. It's better to burn out than to fade away. I'll rather dream, I think.

All right. It's like this business. It's like, I may never reach the levels that I wanted to reach. You're there. But I'm not. Where do you want to be? Everywhere. And Visa. Yeah, I want to be like Visa. I want to be like that. But I want to, you know, it's that dream of like anything could happen at any time, but it never happens, but you're kind of always dreaming.

but you're in it right now, don't you realize that? You're gonna look back in 20 years and go, oh my God, I was in it. I was making a podcast with my best friend. It was one of the largest podcasts in the world, like you're in it, it's great, we're here. Okay, so now find real love. Someone that respects you, enjoys you, appreciates you, really doesn't take advantage of you. That's up to the gods right now. I think you can help some of it. Your therapist and I are saying the same thing. Am I echoing what your therapist said?

Yeah, so the next, next week I'm gonna come here with a three foot five, 400 pound Samoan girl. Well that fits. Name Gooku. If the shoe fits. And I'm like, I did it. Bobby, I have to shit again. Yeah, yeah, I did what you said. All right, Kooku, go shit. That's not gonna happen. Keys against the wall. Anyway, and if your name is Kooku and 300 pounds, a four foot wall, whatever, no offense. Can you imagine that woman just slamming, slamming her food to the ground as she listens to our show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck! Like a double pineapple pizza. She's just like.

But yeah, I mean, you know, but when you watch a movie like in the mood for love, you know, there's another movie I saw recently, Amelie is the same kind of love, but they get together. They end up in the mopel. That's the old style. You end up together. Yeah, yeah. But when you, when you, if you watch a movie like Amelie, it's that whole tease. You love the tease. You don't miss the tease. I'm sure you do. Yeah, but, but, but also the game that you have to play right now seems exhausting.

It's so exhausting. It seems like it's so hard. What a game. It's a game of death. You know, like McCone, McCone learned a lesson in the hard way and Detroit, didn't you? Tell me, tell me, tell me. Say that, bum.

Yeah, so I was with Andrew and Zach. Andrew's opener after the show yesterday and we were just sitting at the bar drinking and they're like, we're going to take it easy tonight. And I was, we were having a nightcap after the show. I said, let's have one and then let's go to bed. Definitely deserve it. And a girl from the show was DMing me. I was like, oh, she'd come hang out and I was like, oh, okay, cool. And I was like, all right, guys, I might head out as they were finishing our last drink. I was like, great.

Left went to this piano bar. She was there with one of her other friends who she was from. I should have been there. So it was fun and we were all chat and then she's like, hey, we're going to get with our friends and go to this other bar like across town. Like let's go. Great. You show up. It's two guys in this car and they're not having it. And they just. Who's not having it? The two guys in the car. They're like, they're like, no, we're going home. And the girls are like, all right, sorry.

Wait, wait, these two girls were already with two guys? That's right. They weren't at the time. They're like, oh, we're going to meet our two other girls. So you didn't know? No, but they were all locked up and linked up. Yeah, like, let's go. You do Sherlock Holmes investigating before you even get in that situation. I know, but I was. What the fuck are you doing? I was back at the house. Do you have a, are you seeing anybody? Did they, you asked that?

I was back at the hotel bar before they had finished their drink. You gotta ask that. Like, turn around and I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, yeah. Are you in a relationship right now? No. Great. Right. Let's go. You know what she did. She wanted to be able to prove to her boyfriend that she could get you to show up to the bar. Yeah, dude. You were like, oh my God. And by the way, you waved as they drove away and he went home and just fucked the shit out of that girl thinking about your nerd ass waving. Have a good night. It reminds me of that one girl that flew me to that one city, right? Just to take a fuck of

of video, a photo. That happened. I don't want to get into it, but that happens. That's crazy. That's crazy. Just to say hi. Just to say hi. That's it. Yeah, I mean, they had no other interests. Well, that girl just want to say hi to you. Yeah. But she was 20 and you're 50. What does that mean? No, just wait, wait, wait. Let that sink in for a second. He's 25.

And he's 53. So get it right if you're, well, I'm just saying get it right. If we're going to stealth fast. Yeah. I would like to, um, you know, call out the elephant in the room actually. What's up, dude? There's a resentment. What's going on? No. Yeah. It is. You know, when you do, dude, I don't think I know human behavior. Yeah. He comes out in other ways. There's really a resentment. He loaded up. Yeah, you loaded up this. So what's up, dude?

I love you dude, let's what? Get it out of the town, I don't care dude, I'm good. I'm just saying you should know better.

I should know better. Oh, so it's a based on. Wow. You care. Life experience. Life experience. Okay, fair enough. Sam, he's been around the block and he's learned his lesson a few times, but he's going back to the well, even though he knows it's poison water. Okay. Well, let me tell you something. Poison water does taste good. It really does. It does taste good. So he's swimming. Let the kid swim. He'll get out of the well when he's ready to get out of the well. Yeah. But right now it's a deep dark hole and it's hard to get out because someone's got to throw him a bucket. I'm not going to deep dark roll.

of lust. Yeah, you're looking for lust. You're looking for lust. You got it all wrong. There's no love. You got it mixed. I got it mixed up. Yeah, your head. All right. So last thing. I don't want to talk to about this anymore, but I just want to say that. Don't. I'm sorry. All right. Yeah. It feels epic. Yeah, I hear it was epic. You're like a whale has to come up for air. Your blowhole is your ozemic burps.

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I know you are. Yeah, so you know, I watch movies and I go, oh, that's that, you know, I relate to those themes. And I think I've always been like a dreamer.

I can tell you it's coming though. It's not. It's coming, I feel it. I had a daydream about it the other day. It's coming. Let's make a bet. Well, I mean, when do you think it's gonna come? You guys want to take a bet? Time-wise? Yeah, in a year? Well, yeah, within a year. I mean, I feel like, okay, I feel like fans, you don't think it's coming, right? Be honest. I don't think you are letting it come. Oh, interesting. Interesting take. Interesting take. Kid? I don't know, do they often come with you?

Yeah, I'm done. It was right there. It was right there. Bob, come on back. Great. Call him a cone. Do your job. Great. I'm going to eat a doughnut.

Yeah, I'm a fat fuck. I can't make any one pop. That's what you're saying. That is not true. Yeah. You really put, you know, I was pretty feeling pretty good about myself until now. I was boosting you up. I know, but this guy really, you really... Listen, him, his opinion doesn't mean shit. I can't really hurt my feelings though. Apologize. No, I don't, that, I don't even, it's not gonna help.

I've had enough of it every week every episode. It's a slam about my weight. It's a slam about how, you know, I mean, I can't satisfy women. You do a gig size joke last last episode. You want to go on? I don't want him dug on. No, I, you know, maybe I like the pain. It's about all that whole mystery thing. The shorting. Yeah, yeah, it's, you know, because.

You know, you slam me, you both slam me, slam me, slam me. But, you know, one day the dragon will awaken. And when, you know what happens when the dragon gets awoken. Breathes fire. Goddamn, you know about mythological entity. Who's gonna get lit up? What?

Exactly that booth is like a dog Yeah, that's Mount Doom right there, and I'm smog another Lord of the Rings reference in your face. So my point is is this no honestly It was the Hobbit yes

It was the habit yet. Very good. Love. I love it. When I want to say, yeah, you know, but can I say something? I'm going to say it anyway. Why do I keep saying that? I always say, this is the thing or can I say something? All that stuff, right? I'm going to try to get rid of all that stuff. The two of your persons, your person? I know, but it's you. I catch myself doing it. Let me tell you something. I say that all the time.

Thank you. But a day will come. And this is not, I'm not making a joke out of it. Because I know myself. It's just gonna, I'm gonna go into a red zone. Snap. Yeah, I'll snap like my dad used to. And over the years, I've tempered

You know, I've like, you know, I've been very mindful about my because I don't want to be like my dad. So like, I, you know, I see these little, you know, mean triggers and stuff and I try to like maintain it like don't do be like your dad. Because once my dad got in a red zone, he, you know, he beat my mom while you beat all of a sudden, it was fucking terrible. Right. And I know that I have that in me. Right. Once I hit a red zone, dude.

I look out. Look out. Look out, dude. So you can poke me all you want. Okay. But when I get there, dude, look out. You're not going to like it. Okay. I think you'll find love in the next year. I'm not only one. No. That's too late. You already said that I can't make a woman come, dude. That's too late.

Is this bad that when you said poke me, I just instantly got that. Pillsbury Doughboy image in my head of when you said that. Now you're doing it. No, no, no, but it's not you. No, no, no, it's not you. I'm saying the image in God in my head because poke me is such a funny, it's such a funny word. When you guys, you guys keep pissing on his step, you think he's not going to come out? Exactly. He cleans it every day. I cleanse it every day. But he's going to come on, catch you with your dick in your hand. And that's going to be the beginning of the end for you. Beginning the beginning too.

And I say this out loud because I'm really trying to address a secondary issue to the guy in my neighborhood that this dog piss on my fence. I'm going to fucking kill you. I'm going to find you and I'm going to kill. Let's get it out. I see him on the camera. Hey, hey, hey, guy. We see you on the camera. I'm going to eat the living shit out of this guy. The dog pisses on my fucking door on my fucking gate and I see it.

No, but can I just, can I was in Wisconsin? I saw it and I was like, I'm gonna break a neck. Can I make an argument against that though? A little bit. Pissing on my door? Yeah, I wanna be side with the guy. Side with the guy? Why are you shiting with the guy whose dog pisses me out? Because I feel your behavior! What did I do to this guy? I know you! What did I do to him? That's why I'm shiting with the guy, guy. Okay. What did it, what? Go side? It's the same thing as the coaster thing.

The coaster of not having a drink on my table? Yeah. Don't have a drink on my table. I know, but you're, I, I'll hit, you gotta put the coaster on, right? Like that, right? What does that have to do with the dogs? Pissing on my door. No, just watch. Don't walk on the carpet, you know what I mean? Oh, you can't smoke in the back. I saw, I was there. Don't smoke in the back. Don't smoke in the back. Don't smoke near the kid. It goes down to don't piss on the fence. It's all a part of the same. I've never said that to him because that's just a thing we know. You don't let your dog piss on someone's door. But it's a part of the same thing that you have. Anxiety? Yes.

Get rid of that. Can't. Yeah. Almost deal with that because you have issues. You have issues. Thinking about having to fly back here to do this show with you. I do have issues, so do you. Yeah. Hey, guy, don't worry about it. Keep pissing on the fence. Yeah. Dude, it's your own issue, dude. You got to grow, dude, like I'm growing. I'm going to piss right on you right now. Pissing my mouth. I don't give a fuck. Oh, you would like that. All right. So dude, guy, whatever your, the neighbor.

Shit on his lawn. I don't care if he shits on my lawn. Piss on, whatever, do it. Piss on my lawn. Yeah, diarrhea on the fence. No, you can't poop on the fence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please don't piss on the fence. Sir, please don't do that. Sir, keep doing it. Please, sir. It's about growth. Yeah, and you should grow up, sir, and stop having it. If he entered to grow.

Well, you're gonna have to bail me out of jail when I fucking murder this guy. See, that's the kind of talk I don't like. And I'm saying it right now. Yeah. I'll testify for myself. Yeah, I did it. Yes, I did. Cue that motherfucker. Mmm. That'll be me getting hard for jail. What's up, bitch? I'm going away for a little bit. Motherfucker's dog piss on my motherfucking doubt. No, bitch. California's a standard grounds day, which means that you can defend yourself without retreating if you're threatened, right? I'm in danger.

I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? If someone's threatening to kill you, if someone's literally threatening your life, you can defend your life. Okay, let me give you an example. I walk into my house, right? And there's a man there. It doesn't matter what he looks like. Does it? In this scenario? I could tell you what I think he looked like.

Go ahead. Tall, skinny white guy from Northern California. 6'9". Yeah, a Fresno guy. 6'9". Yeah, big head. Huge. Long though. Very long. I can see it balding like Carlos. Patchy. Patchy on the side. Yeah, patchy. Right. Bags under the eyes. Huge. No Adam's apple.

No, it's a knee vapple more than anything. What does that mean? It's chunked away because he's been stabbed, cut. Oh my god. Yeah, it's a knee vapple. He's wearing no shirt. It's a wife beater, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could envision a medical tag.

He fresh out. Do you see it now? Yes. A medical tag, right? And then mommy tattoo. Mom. Mom, but with a cross. Cross through it. She's dead to me. Daddy, cross. And then daddy crossed out, but that one's a tramp stamp. It's daddy right above his butt. Exactly. And then there's a God bless JD. God bless JD. Not JD Vance. Who is it?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. J-period-D period. J-period-D period. Who is it? That's John DeLorean, Jeffrey Dahmer. Yes. Jeffrey Dahmer. God bless Jeffrey. Jeffrey Dahmer, God bless Jeffrey Dahmer, right. He has a speech impediment. Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh

It just comes out, right? Yeah. There's no stutter with that, right? And then, right, what does he have in his hands? What does he have in his hands, guys? Oh, and each of his hands? Yeah, one's hand is what?

One has one of those stress balls, just an old school stress ball. The rubbery kind. Yeah, you take the one that's the Benoit ball. Oh, sand, sand. It's got all the sand one, right? Right. Sand one. So I don't own one of those. That's his. Mm hmm. He brings it with him. Remember, he goes, wow, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm down.

Right, right, right, right. Right hand, right hand. Right, what is it? You tell me. Oh, I don't want it. I can see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you see it? Yeah. Look at that. Okay, what do I see, dude? I see scales.

I know what it is. I know what it is. What? It's a crocodile hand. A crock hand. He killed a crocodile in Mississippi in 1987 with his uncle Joey, right? Oh, wow. A baby crocodile. Oh, baby. And he just tore it apart, right? And he took the skin and he made this glove. He's had it in the club for years.

It's like there's got like a little jacket, like a Freddy Cougar, like Steis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just kind of doing this with the Benoit balls like this. Right. And he grows like a croc.

All right, all right. Now, if I'm not walking out of the house by now, what am I doing? You're interested in what he's up to. Oh, you know what? Because it's not imminent danger because he's just hanging out. Right. Now, at this point, can I kill him? No, he's in threatening. Dude, it's fucking scary. He hasn't threatened your life. Right. He's got a threat in your life. We saw it right here. Look, is it imminent danger? And he goes, then he goes, could I give you a hug? That's not violent, right?

No. Right, and I go, no. Would you say that yes or no? Can I give you a hug? I'll shake your hand. I'll give you a pound.

I'll give you a pound. That's better. You don't want to touch, you know, are you a bad friends fan? I would say that. Oh, yeah. You want to take a picture? Okay. So you ask me any, be like, uh, can I, can I, can I give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you, give you,

I think I would. You would? Yeah, yeah. You know what he'd really do. He'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's Bobby? I can get him. That's what I'd say. I can get him for you. Oh, you're there now too? I'm in my house. Oh, he's in your house now? He's in my house first. How do you think he got to your house? Oh, that's right. I sent him to your house. Oh, you sent him to my house? Don't do that. What the fuck, dude? He wanted to see you. All right. He really, I mean, does that sound more like your fans than mine?

Why do you do that? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I love when you do that.

Okay, let's move on, but I love when you do that. Why do you do that? It's just silly. Anyway. All right, dude. But if you sent it to my house, you wouldn't have called me and go, dude, I sent a guy to your house. I would send McCone to film it. I'd have him outside. Oh, you're there. Well, it's got something for the internet. Yeah. You know what, dude? I think what I would do in that scenario is I would just shoot him, shoot him, and just let the fucking law take care of it. You don't have a gun. Oh, that's right. I have swords. A katana? I have like a bunch of swords at home.

Could you, would you ever be able to stab somebody for real? Oh, yeah, the sword. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, I do it. I practice. What do you practice? I go, no, I go in my fucking balcony practice. You swing it around. I do scenarios like this. I do the whole fucking thing, dude. Yeah, you'd be dead. Really? Yeah, I have like a ton of stuff. Wow. Yeah. How many do you have? Three.

Are they special? Were they like branded for you? Well, they're not like made by a sensei, but I've got them in Chinatown. So they're made. They're pretty sharp. Probably made in China. Yeah, they're sharp. I mean, they're not the ones that they used to like Ronin or Samurai used to use back in the day. Those are like real.

You know what I mean? Is a samurai expensive? Yeah, I want to know. I want to buy one. Like a real one. Like a real samurai. It's the most expensive samurai sword you can get. Oh my god. Well, it's probably, it's got to be priceless. I mean, what is that? $79.99? No, the most expensive, dude. That's the kind of shit I have. Average first. Yeah, the average one is a couple hundred dollars. Most expensive samurai sword in the world.

The most expensive Japanese sword in the world is Fukushima Mensori Tachi priced at 100 million. Yeah, can we go and meet in the middle there? I mean, what the fuck from $5 to $100 million? You want a Tachi or not? I know, I want a Tachi, but there's no way I can get one. 100 million, look at how beautiful that is. Yeah, how about like this? A $10,000 samurai sword, did that?

That's a lot of money. I know, but that seems like a right, the right price for a high end one. Oh, let me look at that one. That sounds like a good price. $1,200. Yeah, that sounds. I mean, you're never going to use it, but this sounds like you're going to the swords of Northshire. Yeah, I'll get one of those.

I guess we got to buy a Shin Gunto, Sado Arakai. Or any bad friends fans that are into metalwork. If you can make one for it. And you can make a really good samurai sword, we'll promote it. Of course I will. We'll play with you. Hang it. No, I'm going to hang it in my house.

Well, we want it for the show. Oh, we'll get two of that. We'll dupe it. Anyone that's, because we know there's got to be a guy out there that knows how to do better. Guarantee. Guarantee one of them. I guarantee it. Like a real authentic Japanese samurai sword. And I like the engraving into the steel. Yeah, they like stamp like a symbol. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah, what is that? Samurai sword that's back here. How much is it? I don't know. Where the fuck did that come from? I've been in the back. I saw it. Let me see it. Let me see it. Come here. Bring it over here. Wait, seriously? Yeah.

How long have we had this? Wow, dude. Three years. Someone gave it to Rudy for sure. Yeah, it's not sharp at all. You're not even flicking your finger. It's nothing. Oh, there it is. Yeah, I can hear it. Yeah, it's not sharp at all. Wow. It makes it even more dangerous. Why? Because dull blades are more dangerous than sharp ones. Why is that? Because you're more likely to cut someone.

Let me see. Really? That sounds so fucking stupid. Then why wouldn't every samurai sort of be dull? Yeah, why do people, why would a samurai's in movies are constantly sharpening their swords? Why would I sharpen any of my fucking knives then? Yes, dull knives are more dangerous than sharp knives. Dull knives require more force to cut, increases the chance of nice slipping and causing injury. A dull knife, you have less control over the blade's direction, for example, when cutting a cantaloupe. This is talking about kitchen knives. Yeah, dude. That's swords. Generally.

more likely to bounce. This is like nerd stat. This is a real sharp samurai sword. They don't make a dull fucking sword. Imagine the samurai's go out and they come back and the master's like, how did you puffle? Yeah, yeah. Who did you kill? Let me, I'll be the samurai. You be the samurai.

How did you perform? How many you killed? I injured four people. But you killed them. I injured four people. What do you mean? One man I gave a light beard trim to.

Okay, okay, but what about Pochihono? The one that I told you to go kill you? Yes, I tried to... I tried to kill him, but... Yeah, yeah. What ended up happening? Yeah, tell me. I ended up giving him a massage with the sword. What do you mean? I was stabbing him in the back. He died. He said to the left, to the right, to the left. Wait, let us promise us?

Kind of. Oh my god. I then, yeah. He made me wash his feet after. Yeah. It was. Now, when I told you to get the sword, you got the shop sword, all right? Um, did you go to the, about that blacksmith? I told you to go to the blacksmith. About that. Yeah, tell me. I read somewhere on the internet that also is more dangerous. Oh, did Sensei McCone tell you that? Sensei McCone, I told you he's a dumb dumb.

Wow. Wow, dude. Unbelievable. Wow, wow. Yeah, this is not sharp at all. This is actually oddly dull. Getting stabbed or cut, worst literal way to die. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I'm not really. Stabbed to death? No. Stabbed. Burning is probably, you probably lose sensation after a little bit. I'd rather get stabbed to death than die buried alive in a coffin.

I'm talking about someone doing harm, setting you on fire, drowning you, stabbing you, shooting, stabbing, drowning, setting you on fire. I can't be buried alive via part of the equation. That's a long play. What do you mean it's a long play? And also, buried alive wouldn't hurt that much. You die of carbon dioxide poisoning. You would die, but the- You would just fall asleep. 24 hours of panic though. I think you'd only panic for like 10, and then you'd be done. 10 minutes? 10 hours. Yeah, that's insane. I know, but then- The sweating, you're scratching at the- There's no way to- But then think about all the relief of the shit you don't have to do anymore.

Or you know what at the 10th hour you're like, I just don't know the podcast today Uma Thurman and punch through Yeah, oh wow, but you'd so rather be oh, yeah, so I feel like we've talked about this before like how would we want have we I don't know that's like basic 101 podcast, you know me scenario really how would you want to die?

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Let's enter. I want to interview one of these kids from the colleges. You want to put one of these kids on the air? Why not? I'll go pick one. I'll go pick one hundred percent. I could tell this one was the one that definitely wanted to be on. Yeah, I know. She was a little chatty and when she watched it. Yeah, real chatty. She she. What's your name, chatty and confident? My name is Alex. Nice to meet you. Alex, great to meet you as well. You're confident, huh? I'm comfortable. This is a fun chair. It's squeaky. Alex, are you a savage? Um, I'd like to think I am. What does a savage mean?

It's an old slang term. I don't use it anymore. Yeah, it's also very on PC to have that on your shirt concerning the fact that you're sitting on stolen land. Oh, yeah, that's very dangerous to do. You're perpetuating something that's very, very dangerous. And I got to tell you, Alex, this is very scary. It's not going to start. I'm just kidding with Alex. Clearly. It's spooky season. It's OK. Thank you. Alex, where are you from? I'm from Connecticut. They're all from Connecticut, right? Doesn't everybody live out there? Oh, I can tell. Hartford.

No, West Haven. Oh, West Haven girl. Yeah, right next to New Haven. So I hate Hartford, Connecticut. No, you don't. Don't say that. The club there. We don't hate it. I don't like the club. You don't hate anything about it. Funny one. I know. You hate it. Yeah. Alex, what year are you? I'm a grad student.

Yeah, as you want to say, you don't look like you're a first year. Some of the people he brings in, they look like fresh off the boat, ride-eyed, bushy tail. What's your degree? In the cinematic production management graduate program. What do you want to do? Being an assistant director, a producer. AD is a good job. He kind of looks like one. An AD?

No, like an assistant director or producer. That's what an AD is. That's what you said. Yeah. Yeah. You do look like an AD. You have the energy of an AD. For people at home that don't know what that means, you look like you are organized. Oh, I think you have to be really organized. You have to and you look, you have to handle so much information at one time.

And we're gonna talk shit about people right after they leave, but they don't hear you. Exactly. That's what you do. I can feel that so hard. Okay, so let's do a scene. Andrew and I are in a movie you're producing, right? We do a scene. Well, she's not gonna be a director, so she's not gonna do it. But I know, but she's gonna talk shit about me, because I'm a bad actor, right? No, she's not. Yeah, so let's, so I went, we're gonna do a scene. Yeah. And then I'm gonna walk away, like, all right, I'm wrapped, right? And then she's gonna talk shit about me. To me. Yeah, okay. Because you're the other night. All right. Yeah.

Francisco, where is my medallion? I don't have it. Francisco, you have it. I don't fucking have you in medallion. Adios, my friend. Cut. All right. I'm going to go get some coffee. Please. All right. All right. See you. Good senior, man. A different coverage or? Yeah. I think we're good. We're just going to use my side. Really? I want that to be in there. Adios. OK. OK. I'll see you later. OK.

Wow, that was rough. Bad, huh? Yeah, I think we may need to find someone new. You do? Is there any other actors that you have in mind that we... Hey, guys, I'm back. Oh, God. Coffee. Would you get me a coffee? Oh, show you one one. Yeah. Yeah, what do you want in it? Just cream and sugar. Okay, I'll write it back. Thanks. All right. Is there any other actors that you replace him with? Literally anyone else. But off the top of your head, who would come to mind? A big actor. John Cena.

John Cena. Oh, no, I wanted it black. I just saw John Cena. Oh, he's here? Why is he doing here? Nothing as far as I know. Maybe he's swinging by. It's weird. Anyway, he's wearing the same exact thing I'm wearing. He is. Yeah, it's fucking weird. I think that's how he shows love.

Wait, he's... Can you go grab him for us? Hold on, but we're in Toronto, and he's wearing what I'm wearing, and it's weird. I texted him and told him what you were wearing. Okay, anyway, you want to... Just black coffee. Black coffee, and you... Thank you. Okay, go.

Thank God. I was worried that he wasn't going to make it. I was so nervous about that. Yeah, because we got to get this guy to fuck out of here. Yeah, I think it's time. Anyway, I do it. It's so weird. I'd like you to do it. I just ran into John. Alex. Yeah. And I just told John I go get the fuck out of here. No. Yeah. And he left. Wow. OK. Yeah. Because he was, you know what he was like? I'm here to replace it. I got that's not even real. Is that right? Yeah. And I go get the fuck out of you piece of shit. And he just got in the car and left. So let's go. You got the camera? Well, then before we roll, Alex, I think I had to say something to you.

Yeah, you're doing. Thank you. Action. Where's the Madaria? I don't have you for. Yeah. Audios. My friend. Cut. Alex, good job. Thank you. And you danced around the lice. Awesome, dude. That was very good. That grad school's paying off. Yeah. Very good. Hopefully. Do you like fancy?

I do. I love him every single time that I see him pop up on my little Instagram when you guys post about him. I take a screenshot and I send it to our group chat and I'm like, oh my God, look who it is. And I get, I get make him get so embarrassed, especially when he gets recognized in public. I make fun.

He gets recognized and not be real. No, he does. We got the Grand Central Market at Nono Zempanadas and the guy working behind the counter recognized him and he got so embarrassed. It was so adorable. You take all these kids to Grand Central Market, huh? That's your move.

That's like your day he knows. He goes to the same spot. He knows he's going to get recognized. That's what he takes in there. Hey, fancy. What's up, dog? Can I say something? I'm so shy. No, he fakes it. He fakes the shy and like, oh, no, you know, this and that, but he loves it. Yeah.

It's so gross. It's gross. Because in his heart, he's like, I'm the man. But he wants to act like, oh, I'm going to. Oh, you recognize? You recognize? How could you recognize me? Oh, gross. All right. People should start coming up and more of that. There are no people need to come up. You're a piece of garbage, dude. That's so gross. Fuck you, fancy. Yeah, fuck off.

So he gets recognized. That's insane. He deserves it. Why? He's the best. He is great. We love him so fucking good. He's okay. He's literally Papa to us. He's a Papa to you. Yeah. Like literally when I first heard about the Q and L.A. program, I asked my friend Grace who came up here and she was like, Oh my God, Andreas is Papa. He is your father. Wow. Like I said, he's you come up. Zaddy. Indeed. Yeah, you're a Zaddy. Wait, wait.

Do you fly there to teach or is it zoom they come to it they come to you Yeah, he won't he won't go all the way to us We have to go all the way to him, but do you understand everything that he says all the time or no? Do you guys occasionally catch yourself going? What the fuck we smile and wave you do yes, that's good. We nod. Yes. Goodbye. Thank you. You do that to him Like what kind of movie would you produce if you wanted to produce one? Let's say if I let's say we him and I were like You mean the new Weinstein, but but not

Yeah. Cinemax. We're the Cohen Brothers. Yes. You could have picked anybody else. All right, so let's forget it. We're just, we're just, you know what I mean? We're just Jews. We're the Feinstein. We're the Feinstein. The movie's called Just Jews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm Lorde Feinstein. This is Frank Feinstein. We're the Feinstein Brothers. Feinstein Brothers. Picture some movie. Picture a movie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How are you doing? My back. I'm sorry.

You know what? What, what, Frank? Okay. We would not get, go ahead. All right. Like, anyway, I'm his brother Frank. Oh, oh, you're doing regular voice. This is how I talk. Exactly. That's how you've always talked. I know, I know. That's how I always talk. It's a choice. Go ahead. Oh, I think you guys would be really good in an overly dramatic soap opera given your personalities. Oh, that's interesting. But I thought you were pitching us a movie not analyzing our, you know what I mean?

Well, I mean, a great movie already takes into account their actors' potential behavior, so that's what I think. That sounds like school. Yeah. That sounds like school to that, too. Yeah, yeah. She's right. She's going to be good. Yeah. You really are going to be good, huh? Oh, thank you. And then you'll be able to say you knew me when.

Whoa, that is bold. It's a tough business. It's a really tough business. It is, isn't it? And him and I have gone through the... Ringer. Ringer, for many, many years. We're still being rung. Oh, yeah. But I think we're seeing the bright side of, the sunny side of our hard work.

Yeah, but you know what it feels like to me? The business feels like, you know what drive-through car wash, you ever been in a drive-through car wash, you know, you put your the gas station. It's magical. Right, it is, isn't it? But you know what happens when you're in the dead middle of it, you're like, whoa, look at all that soap. And all of the fucking arms want to be all over your car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what starts happening?

You start to see that the end is coming. You see it, and you see it, and you get closer, and the engine is you closer, and you're like, wait, what do I want to do? Soap again. And then you look at the rear, right, and you see Matt Rife back. There he is. Getting robbed. Yeah. Right, right. And you're like, oh, I might think. And ahead of you is like, Tom Papa. An old guy. Does that mean?

But he's a great guy, but no, Steve profits or something or whatever. And you're like, oh shit, I see the end of this. And then a big guy comes over to you and just blows on you to get you dried off and you're all dry and you're crackling and your hands look old and your face is all fucking weird now. And then nobody wants you to go through the car wash anymore.

That's so sad. Yeah, but that's life. Welcome to the biz kid. You teach that shit at your fucking dumb little school. I forgot that bar. Yeah. Well, read the book. Read the book on the biz that me and the kid. But then, but then then sometimes you see a car go back around and go to the car wash again.

Yeah, I've seen that. I've seen a couple of cars go back in. Yeah. And then they get, again, right in their 60s and you're like, oh, we can go back. Maybe. Yeah. Do you believe you're that car? I think I'm already back in the. You're back in for your second time. I would argue someone argues maybe your third time. It could be my third time back in the car wash. Right. I cut in line. I'm almost out of my first one. No, you're in the second one.

I'm in the first one. No, you're in the second one. I never went through. I have my ticket still. I'll show you. I never went through the first time. I think workaholics, not workaholics. Mixology, mixology. I failed sitcom. I know, I think mixology, that whole time period with, with, uh, punked and that whole little, it was your first time in the car wash. Let me tell you something. Pretty wash. What? That was pre wash. That was all pre wash. That was the vacuum in the carpet and stuff. That's all that was. Well, then if that's the case, I'm in my first wash then. You're in your second wash. No, I'm in my first wash. Guys, he's innocent.

That was just like mixology. Fuck you. It's so stupid. That's a bad joke. It was a cultural iconic show. Shut up. That was your first one. Anyway, do we know this to be true? We do. How old are you? I'm 21. Okay, so you don't know any of this. You don't know what we're talking about. No, you don't even know. You don't know what mad TV is? No. Oh my god. Do you know what 9-11 was? Absolutely. How? My parents talked about it.

A couple of old whites they would. Right when she's born. Yeah. You know 9-11 happened close to here. What? Oh, no, she's a baby. Alex. Let's do it. You know how white it was so hard to get you into this country? Because of the flight restrictions. How old were you when you came to the United States, Alex?

I was actually one years old. Oh my God. That's the one year old Alex. And sweetheart, it took up so long. No karate. We said no karate. Sweetheart. We told you it took you so long to get here because of planes that hit buildings. Okay. So that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Good for you, Alex.

Alex okay, we love Alex very thank you so much when you find somebody else was a great are you a fan of the show by the would you know I can tell she's not no, no, no, no, no, no, I've since followed the Instagram. You don't have to it's okay. No, I want to see all of Andreas that pops up. Okay, good. Please do make fun of him. Please watch him. All right. Do we get one more student or no? Do you want to just talk a little bit?

Alex, you can jump back out. Thank you. You're the fucking best Alex. Alex was great. Your vibe is great. Personality is great. Love you. We love you. Let's do one more interview maybe. Are you picking another person? Great. Yeah. Well, let them go. Yeah, let them go. Both of Mike's turned on. Yeah. They're roommates. Yeah, we've heard this game before. Yeah. Yeah. We're roommates, Dad. I promise. Yeah.

Sit in that chair there. This guy, I really like this guy. You're vibe. I like, I remember you. You walked in first, right? Yeah. Grab the microphone. Grab the mic, put it right to your mouth. Remember to vocalize. Are you nervous? Get closer, closer to the mic to face. Sounds like the old days. Yeah. Yeah. But closer to the mic. Yeah. Are you nervous? You see, Matt, you're nervous.

Well, this is, yeah, I get it. Are you nervous? A little bit. Yeah, a little bit. So, so what year are you guys at school? Freshman, both of you? Yeah. Now, I'm a grad student. Seriously? Yeah. How old are you? 21. Grad student at 21. Right. Do you get out of school at 21? All right. How old are you? I'm 20, but I'm technically a third year, but I graduated this year. I think you'll be a prodigy. Yeah. Are you a genius?

I think everyone here, we're all part of an accelerated program. Yeah, we take like seven classes per semester. Holy shit. You guys don't play Fortnite or anything like that, huh? No, it's not. What's your name, dude? Pull that out. Franco. Franco or Franco, like a nickname? Oh, it's F-R-A-N-C-O. Franco. Yeah. Say it like that next time. Say Franco. Franco. Franco. What is your name again? I don't know.

No. What is your name? Franco. Say with some judge. Franco. Oh, very good. Very good. What's your name again? I'm Zach. Let's fuck that. Add some juice to that. Yeah, yeah. This is from fucking Zach, dude. I'm gonna be Zach. Fuck inside. Come on. There it is. Where is Jamaican? I like that. They just sat down. What's your name? What's your name? What's your name?

Franco. No, no, no. No, no. No, you gotta say it. You can't fit it. You fucking rehearsed it, Frank. Franco. Franco. No, no, no. Frank! Loud!

Franco. No, no, no. Fran. Franco. Franco. I am a Franco. I'm a Franco. Okay, don't let me go. I don't like that. I don't like that. You're Italian, right? I'm 100% Italian. Are you? Oh, in your face, dude. Wow. I knew that already when I said it. I've never seen him at the meetings. Yeah, yeah. And what's your name, dude? I'm Zach, dude. Zach, dude. Dude. Zach nailed it. Exactly, dude. We rehearsed it. Zach nailed it. So Franco, what do you want to do when you grow up? Am I getting a TV?

You want to buy a TV? Oh, yeah, that's my dream. You want to work at Best Buy? What's going on here, dude? Yeah, no, I collect CRTs all the time, you know. Do you really? Oh, yeah. Do you want to produce TV shows? Yeah. Write them? Write them, yeah. Are you good? You seem like a good writer.

Yeah, I've been, we're running, I've written like three, three scripts in the middle of writing another one right now. Like features of television. Yeah. TV right now, like, I gotta get better at writing more like TV-length episodes. The first one I knew wrote was like 78 pages. So what? Yeah. Yeah, TV has no bounds now. You can make whatever you want. Isn't that something you teach them? There's no, the old structural days are over. I bet you he's a little finicky, fuck, isn't he? He probably says, you can't write too many pages there. You won't even get it through to that black list or whatever the fucking...

puts on you guys. You do your own artistic vision, Franco. Whatever you feel in the guts of it, it is. Tarantino didn't listen to any of those fucking rules. Look at how good he turned out to be. He broke that bullshit. He smashed down the wall. We don't need your books. Say that to him. Say, I don't need your books. I don't need your fucking books. Oh, whoa. Wow. That was a little aggressive. It's not what I was trying to get through. How about you, Zach? You same thing? Oh, now I'm PR media studies double major.

Double major double major relation showing off a little bit. Yeah. And what can you do with that? I don't know. You can be in PR right now working as a publicist intern. Oh, cool. You want to be a publicist? No, after doing that for the last night, we definitely do not want to be a publicist. What do you want to do?

I have no clue. Good for you. You have so much time. You're 20 years old. Yeah. Yeah. You got so much time. You have so much time. Unbelievable. But we both know that you guys want to be an entertainment of some degree. Yeah. But in New York, you're going to, you're never moving to LA, right? I'm already in New York. So. All right. You're never going to. Yeah. Right. Good for you. And you're not going to move to LA. Yeah. I'm probably going to stay in New Jersey. Stay in New Jersey. God bless. So, um, Franco, you like telling stories? Yeah. Tell us one. Yeah.

That's what, all right. Anything that you, anything. How about, what about this? Let's give them a scenario maybe. No, actually, if you want, I got a really good story from one of my job to work, or my job work. I would love to hear it. Let's hear it. So, uh, so I, over the summer, I worked at AMC at a local AMC theory. I love bot and hold on time out, take it, rip in.

You name it. I did the tickets. Popcorn. Popcorn. I cleaned theaters afterwards. Can I ask you one last question? Because I don't know much about that. What's the worst thing you've seen in a theater? I had to mob up someone's vomit. Wow. Was he on a something?

No, it was a kid. I'm actually a reek to Parmesan. It was bad. Yeah, but there was one night I was working at good sessions and I don't know where the we hear yelling coming from one of the halls and there is a

black couple and a trans lesbian couple. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

August, August. They're watching. Hold on. August, this summer, this past summer? Yeah. They're watching Joker Patu or whatever that's called. No, no. They're watching Alien Romulus.

Oh, great movie, by the way. I loved it. And it's also nice to know for the alien ramen, those people that your movie obviously unites a very vast variety of people. Yeah. A black couple and a trans lesbian come up and that's fucking pretty broad. Go ahead, Franco. So I have was apparently one of the trans women was speaking on her phone during the movie. Her bad.

So I start arguing, and the guy taking out security, it's getting bad security. What are they arguing about? About the phone? One of the trans people on their phone. And the black man or woman was yelling at them. It was the guy. The black gentleman was yelling at them saying, you were on your fucking phone during Romulus. I wanted to watch the movie.

The guy was not helping any matters. He was making like dumb comments. If I said like, oh, like you're not a real woman or something like that. Whoa. You're not a real woman. Yeah. Wow. That's where you go, though, when you're in a fight with me. Even worse, he was recording it. The altercation, which you know, the best way to diffuse a scenario is to immediately take our default and start recording. But the trans person was recording the black people or vice versa? The black guy. Was the trans person still on their phone?

Were they still on the phone? That would have been so funny to still be on the phone during the fire. I remember one of those was saying like, oh, like, fuck you. That's your free speech. That was one of the comments. Oh, interesting. And they start the black open, so it's getting exited out. And he says, OK, sir, to one of them. Why did the black guy get exited out? And the other people did not. Interesting movie. Yeah. And let me guess about the phone. The trans phone used to be an iPhone, but now it's a Samsung.

Why do I have to do it?

It's strange those parts aren't compatible. Yeah, they're not compatible. Yeah, you think you could use the same charger, but you can't you know, you should be able to but nowadays you can they're all USB C, aren't they? And what happened is one of the one of the trans women ran up to him swung at him. He ducked underneath her Oh my god, and putter up and putter up there into the floor. It was really like a like a wrestling event. They are as incredible. They are as the black person took the

The trans person tried to punch the black guy. Exactly. You never tried to punch a black guy. That's my book. I have a book out right now. Never tried to punch a black guy. It's coming out on Amazon right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was. Now, what did you do? You were so, you were at the popcorn machine. Yeah, I was at concessions. Right. I was.

Why do you want a medium or a large? That's all you're thinking. Yeah. You don't want to get involved. It was especially awkward because you know, we still have to work as it was going on. So you don't like trying to like figure out what is happening all about people saying. Wild. That's a crazy fucking story. And the fight ended with the cops coming, I imagine. Yeah. The police were called. Yeah. You didn't call the cops, did you? No. You know why? Say in that camera, say Franco ain't no snitch. We say that right in that camera. Franco ain't no snitch.

Perfect. Perfect cut. Love that. Yeah. You know, that's a great story. That's an incredible story. That movie theater working is very interesting to me because you see a lot of types of people come through, right? And they're mostly nice to you. No one's mean to you. Are they mean to you at the concession? I've never seen a mean person at the movie theater. Isn't that interesting? I've never seen someone like get attitudey with a person working at the theater.

because where would it come from? Oh, okay. What I'm saying is that you walk into a retail store, sometimes someone's being short with someone that's working in retail. Yeah, because I've had fights in a theater with other customers, yeah. That's what I'm saying, but not to these people, because who's getting mad? What the fuck are they doing? They didn't do anything wrong. Yeah.

But other people, yeah, like this, like the trans couple and the black couple fighting, they were mad at each other. But you guys don't get, you don't ever have somebody be rude to you. No, no, that's great, that's a great gift. Do you get to watch movies for free there or not? Oh yeah, that's the gift, that's the perk. That's the perk. That's how you do it. I saw Alien Romulus in iMacs and I spent $0, fuck you. Wow, you rigged the system, huh? How many times do you see it though? I always saw once because it was, what movie have you watched in the theater more than once?

In general or while I was there while you were there. I saw that boom Wolverine twice twice. You loved it Yeah, pretty you ever do you ever go turn on a movie when no one's there and just watch it by yourself? No, I can you know, you don't want to be a little bad boy No, you're not allowed to be up there where the Oh, because that's a fancy guy that works up there. Fuck that guy You get up there and you do it you end up seeing borderlands. No, I did not

But did it play your theater? Did anybody see it? Yeah, there were people there. There was. It had a really cool popcorn bucket. It was like a literally like clap trap. It was metal. Yeah, never saw it. That's cool. I didn't see it. Why? I didn't play the game. So we're going twice. I didn't play the games. I don't have like no attention to Porterland. Interesting.

Interesting, interesting, interesting, interesting, interesting. That's the popcorn bucket you guys were selling. That's neat. That's amazing. Whatever you gotta do, you know, to get the attention. You know, Jack Black Set right there. Jack Black Set in that very chair that you're in. Sick. Do you know about this show? Have you guys ever seen this show?

I have, yes. Yes, I can feel that in my bones. I called my brother to tell him I was coming here and he was very excited. He's a huge fan. What's his name? Ben. Say hi to Ben. Hey, say hi to Ben. Ben, what's up? You suck. That's right. That's what it does. Exactly what a brother would do. Yeah. Fuck you, Ben. You look like a Sarah Silverman fan. Franco. I'll make you say that. Franco, do you like stand-up comedy? Yeah, I do. Who's your favorite stand-up, would you say?

I've only gone to a few shows. Sure, but who do you think you like? Who aligns with you the most in your mind? You'd go, you know who I like? There's someone who said, let's say you're out with a group of friends and there's a cute check and she's like, you know who I love? I love Matt Rife. He's so fucking hot. Do you like stand up? Do you like stand up? Yeah. Who do you like? I like to, let me shake going this way, Sam.

You like Louis Gomez of Skankfest. Of Legion of Skank. Oh, then you're part of our family. I had no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna lie, I would not have picked that for you. That's insane. I would have not have picked that for you. I saw him in Big J Live. Whoa, with our friends. Wow. Wait a minute. You're cool. So then you would like this show. Do you know this show?

I didn't hear about it until I met. Andrés, good. Well, we're low on the totem pole, I guess. I guess we're lower than we thought. That hurts me. It does me too. A little bit. Anyway, I'm glad at least you said those guys because those guys are funny. Yeah, you guys were. You two are great. We love you. We love you so much. Get the give it a hand for these guys. That was great. Great job, boys.

All right, guys, you know, we love to say we have so many things to be grateful for. Yeah, we really do. Yeah, I can't think of any right now. No, of course I do. I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for you. Our family. I am very grateful I'm being genuine right now. I'm grateful for our fans. I really am.

I've been saying it at all my live shows. Genuinely, I thank the crowd from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to us. We do really love you. Yeah, I'm so stoked you guys always come along for the ride and you're open for weird, strange fucking absurd comedy. And thank you. We do love you. I really appreciate you guys. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a.