WHAT'S YOUR WEIRD FLEX?! | EP 447

I don't know. This is the same thing. This is the same question. This is the opposite. And he burns out laughing. Sorry, no, no, no, no.

Guys, girls. Welcome back in. Welcome back indeed. Woo! It's a nice one. It's a Monday fun day. It's a Monday fun day. I'm Gasterby here. Yes, sir. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. And thank you for being here. And thank you for being here. He's absent. Yeah, at least he's gone toilet or something. Yeah. So yeah, we'll thank him later. Yeah. But yeah, welcome in, guys. Before we get started today, I have a question for you.

and I want you to be, what? I don't know, because I never have questions. So I'm intrigued and guess at the same time. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Now I want you to think about it. Or not, and you might know, off the top. Okay. Oh, this is not like imagination. This is not imagination. I have a question for you and I want you to be open and honest about it.

I'm not asking you to use your imagination. What do you think? Okay. It's because this might not be relevant now. Okay. So you can either give me what it is now or it's ever been for your whole life. What is your biggest insecurity?

My biggest insecurity is, probably has always been not having abs. That's fast. Why is that funny? Sorry. I don't know. It's the same thing. It's the same question. It's an answer. And you burst out laughing. Sorry, no, no, no, no. Please. Am I wrong? No, no, no, no. Chat, am I in the wrong? Chat isn't safe. Am I in the wrong?

Bro, okay, hear me the fuck out. First of all, he laughed first. No, I didn't. Yeah, he did. Don't you? I heard it before I fell down. Take accountability, bro. You laughed first. You laughed at the same time. No, you laughed at the same time. Okay, continue. First of all, I laughed.

through shock and shock alone. Because you said it with such confidence and it's so specific. And you asked me a specific question. You did everything right. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing just through surprise. Because it's like...

I don't know, it's just not a typical, because I know you. And I've never heard you say that. Because it's an intricate, why would I say it? But I tell you about my series all the time. Valid. Yeah. So it just surprised me. It's not funny. And I think you have a beautiful stomach.

I was just surprised that I was just surprised so what it was a twofold you said what's my security? Yeah, what is it and what is it ever been? But anyway, so sorry pretend I didn't laugh. Okay start again. What's your biggest security? It's not even apps Help me help me out, please Yeah, and I would say

I would say that's probably been like a long standing thing, but in terms of now, I don't know. That's fine if that's just the one. No, because I think it's probably because of

Being asked doesn't jog my memory. It's when I feel it. It's when I feel it or think about our random moment of our shit. This is an insecurity. Being asked sometimes I can't really put my finger on it. What made you ask though?

What did make me ask? What made me ask was when you were asking me yesterday about... Oh, yep, yep, yep. My, what was it? Oh, my inferior... Was it inferiority complex I call it? In that... In that... No, not inadequacy. What was it? No, not inferiority. It was inferiority. That's what it was. Inferiority complex. It was inferiority complex. It was inferiority complex. Inferiority complex.

So you just got me wondering what everyone else is here as well. I'm trying to think like...

Honestly, you don't have to keep saying things that you're insecure about. You touch based on the abs and I think that's fair. Yeah, I have fair, but again, safe. I don't care. Yeah, no, you shouldn't. Like I said, you have a beautiful stomach. No, I'm talking about excrities in general. I don't care. OK, yeah. So I'm trying to think if there are some that I can't think of right now, that would be like, oh, let me let me actually talk about it. Because honestly, like I said, I generally don't care. Fair. It's a safe space here. So and yeah, you man, you're gang. So.

Yeah, I was going to say, since we've started this show as well, I also have far less insecurities. And that's another reason why I wanted to ask it. Fair, fair, fair. I probably used to have bear. Yes, yes, agreed, agreed. I feel like by doing this show, people can honestly judge and see for themselves who we are as people. Yeah. And I feel like over the time, obviously, I don't watch our stuff back as much as I used to like two, three years ago. But I could see

like the stages of, how can I put this? I could probably see my insecurities as I'm watching the show and see, okay, these are the things I probably need to change for myself to make myself, to make me feel better about myself when I watch myself back on TV. And I think that's helped also because you do obviously get the odd people here and there, like once in a boom and DM you about a specific insecurities and you're like, damn,

It's got me. Yeah. It was one time. It's got me. It was one time, yeah. So a lot of people don't know. I know it's it every day. So I'd say one of my biggest security is in my lazy eye. I have a lazy eye, right? Okay. This one, right? This bitch right here, right? Okay. Slightly lazy. Okay. Since the day I was born, it's been like that. There's like baby pictures where I can see it. Okay. And I don't think about it. And then I remember I was on Twitch one time. I was on Twitch one time. Yeah. And one random breast said, it's got one eye smaller than the other.

I was gaming and I read it like this. I read like that and I was like And someone tried to jump to my defenses. It's kind of lazy. Yeah, he said it before I was much I found my shot up and I just played my game like that and it It rocked me. It rocked me. Yeah, it's it's a tough one that I've seen Yeah, I thought I feel like

I feel like, because we've been doing this show for so long, it's like, it's giving me thick skin. So... It's giving me thick skin and it's also like, I, like I said, I'm a chatty Cathy. It's something troubles me, I have to say it. So whenever I'm insecure about something, I have to say it, we talk about it. Everyone already knows what my inscuities are anyway. So, fuck. Ellis? What's your biggest inscuities? Oh, cute, here we go. That's just the confidence thing, isn't it?

Got a bell. You're about your confidence? Yeah, like, uh, just, yeah, is that an insecurity? Confidence in what aspect though? It's mainly in like my career.

OK, explain. I don't know. It's a good thing, because I want to get better. But I feel like I'm like miles behind. So me issue is comparison is better. Comparison is a feat for you. All it is is me comparing. Isn't it just? That is literally all it is. It's just me comparing myself to other editors or whatever. I play. Rem. Sorry, I got deep, man. I didn't mean to. I'm not going to lie. I want to laugh again. And I'm sorry. I was now depressed. Yeah, I'm sorry. Again. Why did you want to laugh? I'm serious.

I just want to laugh. We're here to laugh. Are we not a little laugh at you? But I was just I was laughing at I'm not here. I don't need you to defend yourself Okay, I'm just saying you said you wanted to laugh again. I did want to laugh again. That's it's fun to laugh. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, not as people's insecure. No, I love at your insecurity. Please serve. We're not gonna laugh

I can recall having some insecurities growing up. I'm not laughing, just laughing at the situation. God, I thought you were. I can recall having insecurities growing up. Yeah. But I don't. Like you said, right now, top of my head, I can't really think of any. Yeah. But I guess there was some for me.

with body image, training, I had insecurities back then when I was starting, starting out and through my training journey. And I felt like I needed to look a certain way. I was always the shortest in my class. I'm a shorty now. And yes, so that, to me, went hand in hand with, well, okay, if I can't be tall, then I'll just get white.

Mmm starts training training training training so yeah growing up for me that was a thing but now No, I just can't think of any off the top of my head right now any security that I have I also feel like because

Because of what we do, and because the cameras on our faces every week, we've allowed ourselves to be a lot more comfortable with violence and security. We can't lie about anything we're saying, because people see us. Do you see what I'm saying? There's no running away from it. There's no running away from it. So I feel like the initial shock of people seeing us for the first time, whether it be they deemed us one way or the other or vice versa, they'll get over it as soon as they've seen us the first time. Do you see what I'm saying? So there's just no running away from it.

It wasn't going to be a surface level thing. I thought we were all going to laugh at your tummy. I thought we were going to laugh at your tummy. It wasn't expected to laugh at your tummy, but that's what happened. It's my joke answer then. My face is very unsymmet.

Fucking ears, mate. My face is so unsymmetrical. It's fucking ridiculous. It's crazy, mate. So there you go. Cut the other one. This is the actual one. Yeah. This is the actual one. You're the editor, will you? Yes. Stop. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I've never noticed that ever it is I've never looked to your fault it's awful shit man I'm also more grubber than Shower

I feel like, what, I can't. I'm saying, it's just so beautiful, I'm really sad. I don't know, I don't know. You do like what? I feel so, the pro will not show up. I can obviously speak for myself. I want to be more shower, man. Like, what can you do? Yeah. There's nothing you can do if the pop's on. Yeah. That's long. I find the perfect penis is when you come out the back. Whoa. That's when it's either. Whoa. That's when it's either. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

We all love that Just when you get out of the place

We all have that we all know we all know we all know where we're best best when our dicks are in the best situation That's a funny thing I've ever heard in my life. Fuck's sake. Jesus. Yeah, I don't I don't bathe. Yeah Yeah, you all know when it's in the best situation

Yeah, mine's post nuts. Yeah, I was gonna say as soon as I pull out after I not it's Yeah, that's the perfect one fuck off man. That's me my head yeah Damn

I'm not going to lie. Yeah, it's crazy. My lazy eye won't hurt me the other day because I asked them I need to renew my passport and I remember Megan took pictures of us for our visas. Yes, I'm right if he says I'll just use the same one. Yeah, I haven't ever looked at that picture I've seen it in my passport, but I just keep it stepping so I mess up the other day and said oh, can you send me and also daddy's not been sleeping so my under my under eyes been black and

My other eyes been black, bro, and my face was puffy, bro So when I messes the same in that thing, please so I can use it possible. She said that's a Jesus Christ. I was like delete it You've had that in your arsenal the whole time fucking delete it, bro, but I was like this Damn, it's like a punch. Damn. Sorry, bro. I was like damn. This is what my face looks like. You said it since birth? I've had it since well, but I've got a picture of me as like a six month old with it. Mmm. Did your brother have one? Do you know?

I don't think so. I've never noticed. I don't think I've noticed it. I've never noticed to be fair. Thanks, guys. Yeah, right. Questions of the week? Questions of the week. So this week's question of the week was, what's your weird flex? Right. I saw some weird ones. I saw some weird ones too. So what's your weird flex? Guys, girls, let us comment below and make sure you write what your weird flex is. I know where the pressure point is to make a guy fall asleep and leave me alone.

Yeah. What? Yeah. Leave me alone his nuts. That is nuts. That last bit is nuts. Yeah, leave me alone, he's crazy. To make a guy fall asleep is crazy. We saw a kid at my school who did that. Like he knew pressure points not to put you to sleep but he would just do it. He knew what would like disable certain parts of your body.

So he'd just be sitting and he'd be like, fuck, and then your arm would go like, like, he's new, like, so I don't know how he knew this. He's new certain points. Damn, son. Crazy. That's some doctor's strange shit. Right, what's your weird flex? Flicking garments I've left on the floor over my head, catching them behind my back, casually walking off like I've achieved something. That's something I would do. That's definitely something I would do. Fair, fair, fair. What's your weird flex?

I had my mum help my now girlfriend break up with her ex so I can sweep in and have her. How did she do that? I don't know. That's his flex. I don't know. Damn. All right. Weird flex. My ass claps and I'm a man. My ass claps and I'm a man. And I'm a man, as you say. Weird flex. My dick can bend to the right and to the left.

Whoa. Whoa indeed. What? Whoa indeed. That's disgusting. That is disgusting. Let's see someone. Where does your lot go? Straight down the line, bro. Is it straight? Yeah. They all have a bit of a pet. Straight number one.

This should have been the... Where's it been, bro? A little bit to the right. Slightly to the right. Little bit to the right. I know people go like that. Sorry. You know people. I'm not seeing it. But like they've said, oh, curves. All the way to the right. Like wagging. Like down in the knob.

Yeah, slight little curve. Really? Yeah, they've all got a little bend. Mine's not... Okay, let's not get crazy. Mine's not straight like an hour like that. That's disgusting. Yeah, so it goes a little bit to one way. No, no, no. It doesn't... No, I mean, it's like that. Rise it. Yeah, it's like a slight... Like a slunk. Yeah, it's like a very slight, but that's not...

That's not the shaft that's from the bass. You know what I'm saying. The bass, the pressure. It's like a coat hanger underneath. It just keeps it rigid. It just keeps it rigid like that. Which causes it to slightly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not. It doesn't fit. It's the west. It's a little bit to the right. Interesting. Girls like that stuff though. Yeah, because it scratches the side.

Oh fair. Yeah, it does like that shit right next one fucking hell again. What's your weird legs bro said I can click my cock

What? I can click my cock. I'm not going to lie to you, man. I've clicked my cock twice, but on accident, I thought I thought I was going to be hospitalized. I'm assuming this is like penetration. It slides out, then slides back in, but it doesn't go back in. So mine, no, no, no. So mine, so it sounds like a knuckle and it's at the base, right? Hear me out. It's not fun. So it's happened twice.

First time was reverse cowgirl. We know how it goes. You get an inexperienced rider on there. An inexperienced rider on there, you're in for some serious trouble. So both times it's from a downward push. So yeah, she was bouncing on that drawing. I heard her and I was like, ah, scared. Second time, mine was trying to get acrobatic with it. Collapse doggy, daddy was on his feet.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it does with me, and he sunk into it. He sunk into it. I braced the hips. Yeah, and I was...

I was all I was all up in there bro. Oh, yeah, bro. Hey, bro Wow, and I was going full full stroke bro. Oh, bro. My courts will burn it. I was in the Sun Anyway, yeah

I allowed my pelvis to rise too high. And it pushed my tool down. Clicked like a knuckle again. Damn, son. Yeah, clicked like a knuckle. I thought I was going to go to hospital. But nothing happened. Was there post the sex? Was there any like after effects? No, it was fine. But I was imagining that there was because I was so scared that there would be. I was just waiting for the agony to kick in. Yeah. Yeah. But Brose, he's saying he can just click it.

As and when? Yeah. Scary. That is scary. But that something must have happened. Yeah, I think it's I think it's trauma. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's trauma. And then you can do it. Fair play. What's your weird flex? I can say the alphabet backwards. I saw that one as well. That's crazy. Yeah. That is crazy. My exes have all downgraded.

That is a weird flex indeed. Damn. Yeah, my exes have all downgraded. What's your weird flex? My ability to repeat my mistakes and still be surprised by the results. So far. Yeah, bro. If I knew the Arabic word for that.

Bro. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Damn. Weird flex. I can deep throat 10 inches. Weird flex. I dislocated my jaw once. And now it slips and slides like butter.

I couldn't have that. I couldn't have that. I saw a clip from one OFTING one time. She said she's had her tonsils and her uvula removed. So it's just a hole back there. And it's completely eliminated her gag reflex. So she said, yeah, as long as she can hold her breath, she can get clums in the throat.

She did that for the purpose of deep. I don't think she did it for the purpose of that. I think she said she probably had some tons of light issues. But yeah, she said she got all three of them. John's taken out and it's just a halt. Yeah. Yeah, facts. I can remember every embarrassing thing I've ever done since childhood facts, but I'll forget why I walked into a room in two seconds flat.

Damn, yeah. Bro, my short-term memory is godawful. Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, same. I hate it when that happens. Wow, the brain is crazy sometimes. Got two more weird flags. The town slut only wants a relationship with me. Yeah! You man! You man, that's my teenage years to a T.

Only once a relation with me to a team you man don't understand how many girls I was chatting to on my space. Yeah that Was getting out of their ho phase It was exhausting. I must it must have been three on the trot. Yeah, you peed too late, bro You must have been three down on the trot that as soon as I started talking to them a lot Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I've been having a lot of fun the last couple years Yeah, the yarder, but now I'm looking for something more serious. I'm like

Why wasn't I there in the fun? The town's sliding. What's the mean ratio with me? Wow, that's poetry. Yeah, man, it's Pete. Right, last one for me. This is also me as well. I think this is just a secret diary with me. I damn near win every argument because I've consulted myself beforehand. I will know every possible answer or rebuttal you will have. But some people aren't aware enough to know that they've lost. Damn. Thank you, bro. That's sociopathic.

But that's, that's me. If I have enough time, if I know when I used to work, bro, if I had enough lead up time and I knew I was going to be in trouble with one of the big bosses when I got into work, the whole drive in, I'm running every scenario. I know every robot, I know every clap back. I know everything. Play, play, play. Last one for me. What's your weird flex? I can't be seduced.

I can't be seduced. Interesting. Very interesting. I don't believe that. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec. I don't believe that for a sec

Right guys, welcome back. So if you are interested in watching any more of our content, if you are interested in finding a bigger purpose for yourselves, thinking there's more I want for my life and I want to be part of something. Well, stop right now because you found it. Yeah. Was it?

Slow down. Gonna slow down, baby. Gonna have some fun. Who is that? Is that Spice Girls? Spice Girls. Is it Spice Girls? Yeah. Fair. Fair. Anyway, head on over to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs right now. Inductionate yourself into this cult. Become a baby. Let your daddies take care of you. And be part of something. For once in your fucking life. Be part of something. It's literally all we ask. You don't ask for much.

Well, we only ask one more thing, it's three pound a month, run the piece, and then you're in the court and you're sorted and you can watch an extra episode every Thursday. And then if you want to get even deeper for your leader, if you want to be a leader, if you're not a follower and you fancy yourself a leader, then

You can watch the log cabin. And you're wondering, what is the log cabin? The log cabin is a nice cozy area, which every Saturday, Fuhad and I will either be in a super awesome log cabin set and talk about very specific shit that is designed for the babies by the babies. And then other occasions will be out on road. We will.

We'll be jumping out of planes. We'll be cooking up a storm. We will. We'll be doing pilates. We will. Yeah, we'll be getting pampered. We shall. We'll be learning how to skateboard. We did. We'll do a ninja warrior. We have lots of fun. Shit goes on in the log cabin. So again, guys, patreon.com four slash shits and gigs. Right. Talk to me. I have a game I want to play. Let's get it.

And we've played it before. We played it. Me and you have played it before. Okay. And I wanted to run it back and I want to involve everyone, right? Okay. So the aim of the game, right, is that you guys are applying for a job. You're applying for a job here? Yeah.

and I will give each of you an issue that you have individually and you still have to convince me that you should get this job regardless of the situation that you're in.

I'm going to be the interviewee, and I'm going to speak to you separately, and then I will pick... I'll pick Pearl Roll, who's got the job, okay? Interviewer. I'm the interviewer, so you guys are the interviewee. Right? So, this is your chance to be articulate. A good communicator, a good debater, because I will have issues with what you're bringing to the table, okay? All right, say less. We're going to start off nice and easy.

Few head. Talk to me. You are applying. So the first job is bus driver, OK? OK. Right. I'm going to start with the other this one.

Fuad. Hello. Welcome to the interview. Thank you. So how are you doing? I'm very well now. You want to be a bus driver? I would love to be a bus driver. Yeah. I would love to be sorry. I've just got a little card. I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. It's important. Don't necessarily get too nervous for anything, but just to let you know, it's just the card, but I'm good to go talk to me.

Okay, cool. So why are you applying to be a bus driver? I'm applying to be a bus driver because for one, I feel like it's important to help the community. Like I'm born and bred in London, TFL is my bag. And I feel like it's very, very important for the younger generation to see that the middle to older generation are still here to help out the community. Oh, okay, fair play. So you consider yourself middle to older generation? I do. Okay. Fantastic. Okay. Fantastic. It says that you're blind.

Unfortunately, so let me tell you about what happened. Right. I was cooking one day. What do you do you need? I don't need the context. I need to understand. So yes, legally, legally, I am blind. OK, but I've been to an optician.

in Sweden, right? Right. And they are known for the best enhancements to not necessarily eradicate blindness but to help the blind see. Do you see what I'm saying? I'm hearing you. Because you're wearing tan right now and apparently I'm blind but I can see that. Do you see what I'm saying? This is green. Is it green though? It's tan sir.

It's tapped. So, okay. Are you blind or not? You said so you- Legally you're blind. Legally you're blind. So what is this? On paper. On paper, I have a disabled badge, but I can see. Right.

Right. I wear glasses, of course, because I have to get from A to B, but with those glasses, my vision is good. So, I drive anyway. I have a license anyway. Do you have a license? A legal license? Of course I've got a legal license. That doesn't make sense. How does that make sense? Because you told me you're legally blind. Of course. And I've been in this business a long time. I'm well aware that if you are legally blind, you cannot legally have a driver's license in this country. But I've been to Sweden. Yeah.

I've been to Sweden and they prescribe man a new thing. So you have a Swedish driver's license? No, no, no. I've been to Sweden to sort my eyes out. You said you're legally blind. So to have the courts overruled your blindness legally in order for you to have a legal UK driver's license. Repeat your question, sir. Repeat your question. So, all right, I'm going to ask this one more time that I'm going to have to move on because it's getting ridiculous. Okay, okay, okay. Legally in the UK, do they deem you to have vision or no?

Partially. Legally in the UK, did they deem you to have vision or no? Are you blind or not legally in the UK? Legally in the UK, I'm blind. So did they legally prescribe you a pink driver's license with the knowledge that you are legally blind?

post-surgery, yes. This is not true. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to move on because I don't believe you. I don't believe they prescribed you a license. I don't believe they gave you a license whilst knowing that you're legally blind. No, but they, okay. So I had a license, went blind, revoked my license, went to Sweden. Yeah. Bish-Bash-Bosh, repairment, came back, renewed my license. So they're on the, new licenses, you're no longer legally blind.

No, but I was blind. But you have the information that I'm blind, because you've done your research as you have to do. But I'm here to tell you, I can see, I drove here. Do you have a valid license or not? Yes, sir. Hire me. I'm trying to give back to the community. All right, thank you very much. I appreciate that. And I love your passion. Thank you.

Am I saying that correctly? Oh, that's Ellis. Ellis, sorry, sorry, it's okay, it happens, happens. Yeah, my bad. It's all good. So you've also applied to be a bus driver? Yes, yeah. It says here you suffer from narcolepsy. Tell us about that. Okay, so I've managed to, I've managed, I'm on pills.

I'm on pills now. Right. So I did have it when I was younger. I was seeing a running theme. When I was a kid, when I was in school, I had it. I had a special room and everything else going. And I had to sleep for a bit after class and stuff. It happened, eh? It's fine. OK. Yeah.

As I got older, you know, it was affecting stuff. I wanted to get a job and there was times I was falling asleep in the interview. Right. And it was embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. I decided enough is enough. I need to find a cure for this. This needs to be better. So I went to a doctor in London. Fucking expensive. But he bought me on these pills.

It's just a lot because the heat is a day. Special rooms are the same. Yeah, so it's probably on these pills. I've been on them for around three months now and been a lot better. And no episodes.

No episode so far. Um, for the first couple of weeks, yeah, I was still, it wasn't as bad, but I was, I was falling asleep, but it wasn't for as long before it'd be for hours. Whereas this was like a quick, uh, you know, 10 minutes and stuff for the first couple of weeks. I was still falling asleep for the first couple of weeks, but I noticed it was a lot shorter. I was waking up quicker. Now I've got to the point where I don't actually fall asleep now. It's actually, I'm like a month clear now of no episodes whatsoever.

Amazing. I am qualified for this job. Congratulations. Do you also have a legal license to drive in the UK? Yeah. With this condition? Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yeah, I managed to do my license when I was 17. So just if I was to employ you today, can you say confidently that we are at zero risk if you're falling asleep at the wheel and injuring or maybe killing innocent British civilians? Zero risk. I've been driving since 17, so I'm now 23.

I'm okay. Fair. Does anything trigger an episode? Only bright lights. Bright lights trigger an episode of narcolepsy and you fall asleep. Yeah. Well, usually if the police are an awesome thing. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

This is your route will be specifically in South London. There is a slight chance that we might see some police sirens. Yeah, this is a day. I applied for the for the morning role though. It's okay in the day. It balances out. Right.

Okay, cool. I've applied for the morning. So that will be a problem. All right. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Fair enough. Thank you very much. Two interesting candidates. Well played. Fucking well played today. Right. Last but not least, we have Aaron.

Yes, it's Aaron. Aaron, sorry. It's spelled like Aaron, but whatever. It's not. It's not. So you've also applied for the bus driver role. I have. Now explain this to me. I don't understand what it really means. It just says here, you have a crash kink and it says in brackets,

sexually attracted to motor accidents. So yeah, explain that to me.

Experience. I've never heard of anything like that. So what does that mean? So firstly, I don't know how such personal details arrived on your desk. This is the TFL. So we do our due diligence. Clearly you do. So in my own time outside, this is my personal time, not in my professional role. Yeah. I do from time to time enjoy a crash dummy here or that.

Right. And it's more for experimentation. It is purely to for science, also for science, really. How fast would I need to be going for somebody to orgasm? And really what it needs to be is a study of that versus where I'm going in London.

And I will really all the way back round to it being professional. That's not where it happens. It's all personal. So again, how you obtain this information is unbeknownst to myself. So would you, oh, okay. What I really want to get down to is are we at risk?

at any point that you can foresee causing a motor accident for sexual gratification. That's what we need to understand in this moment in time. I understand that's your personal desires and all this kind of stuff. It is.

I think it's fair for me to assume that you don't have any control of when these sensations arise. And you will be behind the wheel and you will be in control of a very, very heavy vehicle. And I want to make sure that there's nothing in your, I'm not kink shaming per se. It feels it. No, no, no, no. Again, wherever's in your personal time, I just understand that this could be an issue. I do have control over this kick.

Right. I don't know how exactly I would prove that to you without you giving me the job and doing exactly that, proving to you that this is something that takes place only in my personal time and that there's no need for me to feel as kink shamed as I do right now. Okay. I'll let you know. And that. Yeah.

whilst I'm on the shift, morning, evening, daytime, night shifts, whatever it may be, there would be no crashes due to my kink. If I play, thank you very much. I think on this occasion, I'm gonna give the job to Aaron.

You're a liar. I'm just going to say this. Sorry. I don't have to explain myself to you. You didn't get the job. The bright light situation. We live in the UK. It's going to be dark early in the morning, and you're going to kill someone. I appreciate what you're doing. Sirens, right? Yeah, I appreciate the efforts you're making to mitigate your illness. But the job specified day. The views over.

In the UK, 6 a.m. is daytime. It's dark at that time. It's fine, I've tested it. Moving on. I need you to wear thick underwear or thick trousers. Because if any visible arousal is aware, you lose it on the spot, OK? Understood. Right, next job. Fu had. Hello. You are applying for the role of surgeon. Very profession. OK. Very good job there. High pay grade.

It says... Right. It says here you are a convicted organ harvester. Could you explain that to us, please? So, if I'm being completely honest... Sir. Right. Two things. Right.

I need this job. First and foremost, first and foremost, I need this job. I have steady hands. I am very equipped to working very long hours. It's been proven in my past. I have an affinity for taking care of people. So if we revert back to your previous statement slash question, convicted is a strong word.

Let me just say that. Convicted is a strong word. And, to be honest, okay, here's the truth. I've never really told the courts this, but here's the actual truth. Here's the actual truth. So, let me land. Yeah, I'm gonna let you land. There was this little girl. Okay. Let me land. Let me land. There was this little girl, right? And, unfortunately,

She neither had the funds or was it high enough on the transport list for this heart.

A few years ago, so this happened a few years ago, by the way. Hold on, this is actually bringing back some deep memories. I'm going to need you to get to the point. This is a serious topic. This is a serious accusation. I'm aware how serious this is. This little girl, open heart surgery.

her long story short, her heart was failing. Also, it's sad because on the other end, there was another kid I was trying to save. Unfortunately, he passed away, but he wasn't on the donor list and the parents didn't sign off on anything.

I know this is very unprofessional, very unethical. I just couldn't witness another child die in my, in my surgery. So why did was

I had to take his heart in order for her to survive. And like I said, a few years ago, she's thriving. She's 10 years old now. And I don't feel bad about it. I just feel

annoyed that this is the premise that's been put on my name. Do you see what I'm saying? I understand what you're saying. So what you're telling me is without consent of the child or their legal guardians, you stole a heart from a deceased child. I took a heart to save another. And placed it in the chest cavity of a dying child. I did.

Why does it say here that happened at the back of an Azdah? Pardon? It says you did this round the back of an Azdah in Loughborough. Did what specifically? The surgery, both. I don't know why you're acting surprised you went to prison.

So I'm going to say this quickly before I move on. I don't want to hear any more stories. I want answers. What's the question? Why did you perform these surgeries round the back of an asthma?

because I had to prove myself that I could do it, and I did it. Yes, agreed I was in the wrong. Yes, it was in the back of another. Yes, it was unsanitary. But I had to take one life to save another, and I'm not... I'm gonna move on. We're gonna move on. Take was the wrong way. Take was the wrong way. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! The authorities will be called.

It was doing so well. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I take it. No, no. OK. OK. We're done here. We're really done here. All right. All right. I hope you consider my position. Yeah. Yeah. I've got some real considerations to make. Ellis, welcome back. That's me. I'll not see you again. Right. We have a. OK.

We have another issue here, this. It says you have a phobia of blood in your application. Now, I need to understand how that will affect you professionally. As a surgeon, there is a fair amount of blood.

Yes. So, what did we do about this? So, this is another thing. It's all in the past. So, yeah, I was afraid of blood. Very badly. Like, really bad. I was budgeting for ages. I couldn't see any meat or anything. There's quite a lot of red in this room as well.

Yeah, sorry, yeah. There is. Which, yeah, don't get me wrong. It's making me feel a bit uneasy, but I'm all right. Okay. I've got steady hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm confident. I've been training for this for years, and I'm not going to let that get in the way of my dream job. You know what, so I appreciate you. I'm not going to let it get in the way. I appreciate you. Fucking hell, it's red. But it's fine.

Well played. Yeah, I'm not going to go any the way. I've been working on it for years, I've been in therapy. She's been painting with red colours. Okay, nice. Yeah, yeah. To conquer it a bit more. Okay. I've been going for a red therapy. All right, red therapy. I have to give the job to Alice. I just have to. You, sir. Okay.

deserve to be in the darkest hole. Why? Known to man. Why? You took a child's life to save another child's life. Take the wrong word. It's the word you used. And it was a mistake. And you were convicted of a crime. I was convicted because it was the back of an Asda. All right. On this case, Ellis gets the job. You do have one further opportunity. Okay. Now,

Oh, hi. Sorry. Hello. Hello. It does say here, if you're not a director, you haven't been successful as of yet. No. I really do hope this is the one that we get for you. Oh, it does say here that you have a, this is quite random, an addiction to quote, that's what she said.

end quote. Now, I don't understand what that means. Can you give me an example of what was an addiction to that's what she said. So this is just, I guess, part of my immature humor. This has nothing to do with how I

operates in a working space or a professional space. So for example, I could overhear a conversation. A lady could be on the phone and she might be talking on the phone and saying, fuck, it didn't fit. And I would say, that's what she said.

But like I said, this has nothing to do with my professionalism in any field I am in. So I don't really know for one how and where you got that information.

and to how it pertains to me applying to this role. Well, it says here that it's an addiction, a compulsion. I just wanna- For where? It doesn't matter where I get my information, where I get my information. I just wanna clear the air here. Okay. So let's say I am a potential client of yours. Okay. You've set me down. I have just lost a loved one. Mm-hmm. And my mother has passed. Okay. And you ask me,

Okay, let's do a little bit of role play, just to make sure. Ask me how my mother passed. So, I know you're going for a tough time, but I have to ask this question unfortunately. How did your mother pass? She, unfortunately, okay. Is everything okay? Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.

She, I'll be okay. Is everything okay? Yeah, my nose. Give me a second. Give me a second. Yeah, I'm okay. Go on. So she unfortunately, I'm listening. So the way my mother passed. Are you looking at me or do you not care? Oh, I care. Okay. She unfortunately was impaled.

by a very thick object. And she just couldn't take that level of penetration. I'm so sorry to hear that, sir. If there's anything I can do, as of this moment, I know it was tough for you to say that. So if there's anything I can do for you at this moment, just please let me know. Would you like some water or anything? It's getting me from behind. Those were our last words.

to you. That's just what I heard she said. It's stretching me out from behind is getting me from behind. Those were the last wise that they said that she was screaming as she left us understood. Should we talk caskets?

So it's not an addiction, you did well. I said it's not an addiction. Okay, fair play. I am impressed. Thank you. Now, there was a lot of laughing and distraction, but I think finally we have the job for you. I think we found the job for you. The base salary is 17K, yeah, I hope that's okay. I'm happy to do so. Yeah, I'm happy to have you on board. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, gents. Very nice.

That was good. It was good. Oh, that was tough, man. When you're frozen, your lips were good. Bro, fuck it out. Improv's not easy. It's really not. It's really not. That was fun. At least you have a hidden talent. You do. You have a hidden talent bit bro. Yeah. There's red in here. There's red in here. That was just a lot of play. Right. You've got a wreck for us. Yes, I do. OK.

Um, Remsky, can you please type in disclaimer? So disclaimer is on Apple TV. I've never heard of this. Yeah, I got put on clickcast for me. Please sir and zoom the fucking thank you. So disclaimer is about this three different stories happening at once and they all intersect, right? Um, so.

Catherine and Robert are husband and wife, right? And these, Catherine is a well, she's a, she's a, she's a author, highly decorated author, wins awards, things like that. And Robert is a loving, doting husband.

He cares for so much and they have a son called Nicholas and the relationship between Nicholas and Robert the dad.

blocked by the relationship with the Nicholas and the mum. Very wishy, very wishy washy. That's one timeline. Another timeline. We have Sasha and Jonathan in Love. Young Love that the show opens up, scene one, episode one. They're on a train to somewhere in Italy. I think it's Rome. They're banging on the train.

Bangin' on the train. Okay, bet. Ticket inspector walks in, obviously they're flustered, naked, blah, blah, blah. He's like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. They grab it, they find it, they give it to him. They start giggling and buy it, stop bangin' again. They're running, they're running around Italy just in love, and it's just so cute to see. It's so cute to see. There's a third timeline now. Steven, the old guy, he's lost the love of his life.

There is a scene where People come to his house to collect his wife's things and

One great thing, I'll come back to Steven. One great thing about this show is that they narrate as the show is going on. So there's different narrators in the show. So Catherine will be narrating parts of her life while her scene is going, same with Steven and same with either Robert, Sasha or whatever. So that's how it goes. But there is a scene where Steven is

watching them take the remaining things of his wife's stuff because she's passed away. And he says something along the lines of, oh, that's it. This is Nancy's life reduced to a certain amount of items. And he finds his wife's favorite cardigan.

and he wears it throughout the rest of the episode. And it's just like, fucking, I was just like, Jesus Christ, right? But then, as he's going through her things, he remembers that there was a, there's a death in the family. So he's now lost two people, his wife and someone else. And he's basically all alone.

So he now remembers that he goes into the room, he goes into a room where his wife never wanted him to go into because she was in there by herself all the time, just dealing with this loss. She goes into the room, he goes into the room, sorry, and opens up a drawer and finds a book. As he's reading this book, he realizes how

This timeline, Kate and Robert's timeline, and Jonathan and Sasha's timeline, all a line. And he's made it his life mission to make Catherine's life hell. Oh shit, okay cool. Hell bet. This, so far, I've only seen two episodes and I'm locked. Okay. In. I can't say much because I don't wanna spoil the meal. The whole season's out? Yes, the whole season's out. So, only seven episodes. Okay.

Dang, I'm done. It's titled as a thriller, but you're just so locked in and it's based on the book. And I don't know if it's based on the true either, but it's definitely based on the book. Okay, sick. That sounds good. It's good, man. Good. Bath. Yeah. Okay, I'm locked. This is Glamour, seven episodes. Make sure you catch it. All right, I'm gonna jump on that tonight. Right. Tweets of the week? Tweets of the week. Right. Tweet in a quote to eat.

I'll kiss the parts of your, I'll kiss the parts you're insecure about. Quote tweet. Oh my God, I hate my pussy so much. Fat. Yeah. Next one. Conversation. My fingers still smell like you. Reply, heart face, heart face, heart face. Is that a good thing? Reply. No, you stink. You stink. Ah! Okay, cool. This is a Facebook post and then reply.

You're allowed to spray a man with a raid if he's under 5'11". That's fucking funny. Reply. They can't keep getting away with this stuff. They did it. Yeah. Does this mean we can use elephant rifles on girls with more than 200 pounds? Wrong. Someone replied to that. Here we go. Yeah.

Damn. Here we go. Raid on guys under 5'11". That's not. That's straight. Get away from here. You man are upset in it. That's actually horrible. Here we go. What? Here we go. What? Here we go. Next one. I'm not entertaining. No, no, no, no. But I'm not going to entertaining. No, I'm upset for you man as well. That's dread. I'm not entertaining this to enhance your ego. So let's move on to the next one. Fair. OK, I'll take it back. I'm actually convinced I'm like 5'10.8 anyway.

Who is that for? So we're all getting rated. No, actually I'm convinced I'm like five, 10.8 or nine. Guys, I'm one of the gang. The raid gang? The raid gang, yeah, I'm an insect like you man.

That's what she said. Sorry, let's just move on. Let's just move on, man. Cool. Next tweet. A bomb on the train asking for change, but skipped me. I'll be fucking humiliating. How do you take that? You don't. You can't take that. You actually can't take that, but skipped me.

Damn. Yeah. Your life must look to him. Your life must look in disarray. Yeah, you man appears. Below appears. Yeah. Yeah, cool. All right. Children don't understand the concept of cash anymore. I gave this you a two pound coin as you put in the McDonald's swirly thing. Oh my god.

That's fucking jokes! Wow! Don't swallow it! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I gave it you a £2 coin and you put it in a McDonald's swirly thing. I tried to call customer service to re-obtain the funds, but they said it's out of their jurisdiction. Does the bread go to charity?

A two pound coin and that's Swirly doing is crazy. That's for two P's. Facts. Attempting max. Yeah, damn. That is crazy. Fuck. My heart would skip. There you go. Get yourself a double cheese. Swirly. I used to love that McDonald's Swirly Tim by the way. Same. Same. I used to like bangs to make sure they're brown around. You guys just follow me like a you, Jesus Christ. Anyway, next tweet.

Bitch is be sucking balls hard as hell. Bitch is be sucking balls hard as hell. Slow down baby. These ain't no ox tails.

No! No! I was doing... Oh my god! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Fuck! Fuck! That's the funniest one you've read like this year. It's one of my own babies in New York state. I suck, I'll sell you man. I suck it. Wow. Fuck. Fuck.

Jesus Christ! Sorry, yeah, cool. Fuck. Tweet, reply, reply. No, not November. It's top tier stupidity. Reply. Looks like someone failed. Reply. Someone had to keep you a girl happy. Damn. I saw a clip. You know who's actually the OG funny arse goat? Brian Cranston, bro. Swear.

Bro, I like media shit. He's fucking funny. And like, I saw a clip the other day of when he was filming Breaking Bad. And obviously that's in like, somewhere in like, where's that New Mexico or something like that? Yeah, some desert arse place. One of the fans was there and it was like, bro, I'll just have to ask like,

What was it like filming there? Like, it's my hometown. Like, did you like it? Did you like it? And he was like, yeah, I liked it. It was cool. It was like, what did you do? And he was like, he has, what did you do when you were there? It's my hometown. Like, I know everything about it. And then I said, I used to visit your mom now and again. I think I've seen that, bro. Yeah. Damn, I think I've seen that. Was it on the... It was on the reaction. You both watched it on the reaction. Yeah, remember, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck.

Do you know how funny that is? Damn, off the cuff as well. I don't know you. There's another one where he was on about like acting or shit like that. And I can't remember who it was with maybe Kevin Hart or something like that. I think it was like on Kevin Hart's podcasting. And he was like talking about like...

I can't even remember he was talking about being a good actor and all this kind of shit and then he was talking about like I didn't like Kevin Hart at first and all this kind of shit like joking joking and then he said something like really profound and nice and then Kevin was like wow that like thank you and he was like now that's acting.

Yeah, bro Brian Cranston's funny fair play. Okay, fucking funny fair play Okay, oh so I've got one more is it one more to eat? We're one more to eat All right. Oh something sent me my abs are killing me. Okay, cool Sorry, I'm late. I was measuring my Ariolas. What have I missed?

I really just read you common old shapes and sizes. They're interesting. They are interesting. Yeah. I've got tiny ones. Same. Yeah. Tiny areas, tiny nipples. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't piss my shit. You couldn't piss my shit off. Bleed out. Yeah. Yeah. I've got tiny nipples.

Obviously, this is dependent on who you are and how you feel about, like, I don't have any sensitivity there. So I know for some, oh my days, you man, you man, you man must have seen this. This is going. One higher up, like Prime Minister of, I can't remember the country, Google it for me, please, Rem. Bang in women. Really? Bang, he's got, they've taken him to jail. He's banging women, where he's kink, when he's banging, he's doing this. I guess they're banging me. He's doing this. They're not made into a dance in their country. They dance like this.

What country is this? I think it's getting bizarre or something like that. Yeah, bro, there's, probably there's leaks. He's banging, he's banging people's wives, he's banging like the house girl, he's banging Prime Minister's wives, he's banging so many people.

No way bro. He's just been slangin' dick. Had you heard of the development after this Brita? No. His wife was doing the same thing. His wife was just getting clapped by bears? Apparently. That's just like, I heard about this Brita first and then what I heard seen online was his wife was doing the exact same thing. Damn dude. He's been slangin' dick. And he just, he just flicks his nipples while he, while he bangs. He's bangin' and he's like this.

There's there's so many videos of him up video. There's so many like stills of him just holding this and then they turn it into a They turn it into a trend. That's no bro People just dancing rubber denipals. It's crazy Damn, but yeah speaking of small lips idea. That's that's what took my brain to this Oh, yeah, my lips have no sensitivity if I touch it But if someone plays with that shit on accident or just to wind me up

It's just a rat. No, it's not a rat. No. Then what? It just tickles. Oh, mine doesn't tickle at all. I don't feel anything. If someone went to suck that, John, I'll be giggling. Really? Yeah, it's not nice. But that's more of like a... It's more like... It's more of a trusting. Because it's just like a rogue area for me, you can't just pull up and suck my nipple.

So I'm giggling, it tickles because it's uncomfortable. Same way if I touch the bottom of my own foot, it's not ticklish. If someone went in there, I'm a child. Yeah, but yeah, playing with hopelessness is not. Anyway, that's enough of that. Guys, thank you so much for today. This was an amazing episode. As always, please come back. Love, love, love.