'Try This': Go find some joy

Hi, it's Renee Srinowski. The Seven will be back tomorrow with a regular episode to close out the week. Today, we have something for you that will hopefully inspire some joy. Our colleague Christina Quinn, when she's not helping with The Seven, hosts a show called Try This. Every new season is a course. Think of it as practical advice for life's common challenges. And the new season explores ways to find more joy in our lives.

I'm going to play you this second episode in a moment. It's about specific ways to cultivate joy. I hope you enjoy it. And if you do, go find try this wherever you're listening and start from the beginning. In the first episode, Kristina speaks with a scientist who studies happiness. For now, I hope you're having a good week and that you find some joy at the end of this year and in 2025. Here's Kristina.

Hey, welcome back to Try This from The Washington Post. This is the second of three classes in our course about creating more joy in your day-to-day. In our first class, we spoke with scientist Emiliana Simon Thomas about the factors that influence our happiness. In the second class, we're going to share some exercises that can help you cultivate joy. And I spoke to someone who says it's easier than you might think. In some of your darker moments, what have your friends called you?

Sometimes they call me Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore, as in the chronically depressed donkey who tends to lose his tail. But human Eeyore found that even during some of the most difficult times in his life, Joy wasn't far within reach. And he wrote a book about it. I'm Stephen Petro, contributing columnist for The Washington Post. And the author of The Joy You Make. Why did you write a book about Joy?

Hmm. The short answer is, I needed more joy, as most people I know do. But what happened was in 2017, I had a pretty challenging year. Both my parents died. My husband and I separated and then my sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I kind of went into a dark period and

needed to find a way out. So what I started to do was to take photographs in my daily life of things that I thought were either beautiful or brought me joy. And I would post them on Instagram and people started liking them.

that led other people to start posting their own photographs of joy and kind of became a viral project. Seeing how much people were seeking out and engaging with these little glimpses of joy sparked more interest for Stephen. And I started to read about joy and I thought maybe that is my lifeline. So when you were reading about happiness and joy and your research, what was it that you had discovered? But I went into this thinking that happiness and joy were synonyms.

They're not. And the more I read, the more I came to understand, and I've been using this food metaphor, which is that joy is like the hearty whole wheat muffin. You know, it takes a long time to eat, but it fills you, it stays with you, it sticks with you, it becomes part of you. Joy is generally generated from within, and then we can find ways to tap into that and help bring it out.

And one way to tap into that, get lost. No, really. One really easy place to start is to go on some kind of journey without a destination in mind. Two cars ago, I decided not to get GPS because I actually wanted to learn how to get from place A to place B. Yeah. And car dealer was like, you're nuts. Did you end up getting it?

I did get it without the navigation and I did learn to pay attention to my surroundings. It's kind of an amazing experience. So part of this is being present as well. So what about these days? Do you still intentionally avoid using your GPS? I do sometimes and some of my friends get irritated with me. But, you know, I'm a guy. I always know where I'm going. Of course, of course. You know how we are.

Naturally, naturally, no, you don't have to ask for directions. You know, right. No, really. I know it. Yeah, it's really a metaphor, though. I think for our larger lives, we're always marching towards something. And this gives us this kind of freedom to just take a breath and be wherever we are and experience that. And when you release yourself from the familiar, you're more present. That gives you more room to see the positive and connect with your surroundings.

So here's what you're going to do. Number one, give yourself permission to wander. I know, it's hard. There's usually a destination and a deadline. But for this assignment, it's about the journey, man. Number two, pick a town or neighborhood you've never been to. It doesn't need to be far away.

3. Show up and walk around Of course, be safe and sensible. This means if you're going somewhere alone, let a friend know where you're heading. And if you need directions, try to see what you can figure out without your phone, and instead ask someone walking their dog, or go into a local business.

This isn't hypothetical for Stephen. He's done this many times. During one particular dark period, he and a friend hopped into his VW Beetle, leaving San Francisco in the rearview mirror.

And we kind of went left and right, right, left and wound up somewhere we never would have imagined. But this whole adventure, it engaged our curiosity. It created space for us to experience something entirely new. So you can do that in your neighborhood, you can get in the car, you can get in a train, just do it safely. And there's this saying, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey, but it's really about the companionship. So I suggest you do it with somebody else.

I told you it's about the journey, man. Now, here's an extra credit assignment. When you get back home, write down what you did and how it was different from going on a planned trip. Taking stock of your experience will confirm the sense of awe or gratitude for what you discovered. So now that you know how to get lost, it's time to horse around after the break.

You said something about how we're always trying to progress towards something, towards achieving a goal, and that sort of ties into another part of, I'm gonna call this your manual on creating joy, which is the joy of play. And you made a strong case, and I think it's especially important for adults to hear this, because I think as we get older, we get so caught up in our responsibilities and our obligations that we forget about playing.

Right. Playing is for kids or, you know, or playing is for winning. And, you know, I certainly grew up with that ethos. I played tennis as a young person. And, you know, if I didn't win, it had no value. And then as I got older, it did not seem worth the time to me. And the culture seemed to support that, you know, you need to be doing more important things than your recreational tennis. But it was funny, after the pandemic,

I was kind of going through the things in my mind that had given me joy in my life. Tennis came up on that list, so I said, OK, well, I'm going to go take some lessons and see what happens. But I went in with the kind of this beginner's mind. And apparently, I was completely beginner again, too, because I would take a lesson with 10 people and

I sucked. And everyone knew it, but I had such a good time. And somebody said, I see what's happening to you, Stephen. You're embracing your suck. And it's now two and a half years later. I'm probably like third worst, but I still love it. And it's about doing an activity.

not to be better than someone, not necessarily even to improve yourself, but to enjoy it and to see the value in that and to find, you know, enjoy has the word joy in it. Isn't that amazing? That's true. I mean, that's convenient, isn't it?

No, but I get it. I mean, I go to my gym with my lady friends. We have like a little gym crew, those four of us, and we just kind of keep each other in check just to make sure we're going. But it's like, it's a boxing gym. We're not going to be professional boxers. We're never going to be in a ring. So it really is just fun to show up and punch things. Well, I think you hit the point. It's about showing up. Yes. We need to show up. We need to show up for ourselves. We need to show up for our friends. That's what it is.

Okay, so first, leave all ideas of winning at the door. This is not about winning. Second, choose an activity you are genuinely interested in and approach it with a beginner's mind, even if you've played it before. Tap into your curiosity. Third, set goals that are not about winning. And lastly, stay focused on the pleasure and stay curious. Don't worry about doing it right or losing. Like Steven said, embrace the suck. The point is you showed up and you're having fun.

Getting lost and remembering to play are two specific ways that Stephen has found joy and thinks you can too. By allowing yourself to be present and freeing yourself from a destination or goal, you can make more room to see the positive and find connection that's meaningful to you. That's it for our second class. Up next in our third and final class on how to create and cultivate joy, we're going to hear more from Stephen on how to spread that joy around.

If you're listening to this as it's newly published, the final class will be available on Monday, December 23rd. But you can access it right now and add free, with a subscription to the post. If you already have one, great! Find the Washington Post channel and Apple Podcasts and connect your subscription there. If you don't yet have one, you can subscribe to the Washington Post through the link in our show notes. Alright, meet me in Class 3.

I'm Tenet Narapil and I'm a health reporter for the Washington Post. My job is to cover public health and that means I'm writing about infectious disease threats like COVID, MPOCs and bird flu and I'm also holding the federal government and state government officials accountable for how they respond to these disease threats. So when we write about public health issues, we want to serve our readers by going deep into the science.

and by making sure that what they're reading is authoritative information that's been vetted by experts and written by people who've covered these issues for years. We want to empower people to live their best lives and to protect themselves and their loved ones. And that's what subscriber supported work does, is that it gives me the time and resources to really spend on a story. When you subscribe to The Washington Post, you support this kind of journalism of the people behind it.

I'm Bennett Nairpil and I'm one of the people behind the post.