This is a global player original podcast. Be warned, it's Luanna, and this podcast contains honest upfront opinions, rants, bants, and general explicit content. But you know you love it. Hello. And happy new year. Welcome. We are banging into 2025. This is now we're in the seventh year of Luanna. 2025 is here. I had to count that on my hands. It is indeed. We got the seven year itch.
Bloody hell. We made it, guys. We made it into 2025. I just don't know what happened to 2024. It's gone now. It's been a done and gone. Hope you've had a wonderful new year. And you know what? I like kicking into January. It just feels fresh. Fresh like a freshly mown lawn. Possibilities are endless. Can you wait for the smell?
of a freshly mowed lawn. It's so fucking cold in England. I'm ready for spring. Yeah. Do you know what? After winter comes spring. And do you know what? The little tweet of birds, you know, when you wake up and the, what happens to all the bears in winter? Do they all? Are they just migraine? They die. They know they migrate. What about Robin Redbreth apart from them?
What's that? All the other birds just leave England. Not all of them. Well, where do they go? Pigeons stay. A lot of birds. Yeah, they migrate, don't they? People have fed the pigeons. Those bloody pigeons will find a way to survive. Anyway, listen, it has become a little bit of a Luanna tradition. As you'll know, if you're a hard, cool listener, we always do predictions and aspirations for this first episode of the New Year. So we're going to look back.
on to what our predictions and aspirations were in 2024. See if we achieved them. We actually can't remember them. We can't remember what the hell we said. Well, it was a year ago. Come on. And then we are going to make new predictions and aspirations for 2025, which we will then revisit in 2026. Exactly. So this feels wild that we're already like talking about what we're going to do in 2026.
Yeah, I don't, yeah, wow, I don't like time going too fast. So, yeah, this will be quite amusing. And maybe Lefanians, maybe you made some predictions of your own last year, maybe you made some aspirations, maybe you're like us, and you can't remember what the hell you said or predicted. Now, there is one person that is the key holder to all of this, and that is produce. So, Rema Jim, Rosa Ticier, Austin Hart. Wow.
Happy New Year, MZ. Happy New Year. How are you, mate? How are you? You're wearing to go for 2025. Oh, we are back at work today. I mean, is this work? No, we're not. She never calls us work. No. We're not easy little people. So, Emma, over to you. You can take this away and talk us through what we're doing and when. Do you want to do predictions or aspirations first?
Um, I don't mind. Let's go ask. I don't mind. I choose. We'll do predictions. Let's do it. Okay. So from last year, yeah. So we'll do Louisa. Okay. Louisa predicted. Let's see if I'm right. Is that a prize? That it would be Luanna's best year yet. Oh, that was true.
That was true. We hit over a million listens every month. We, um, 500 episodes and we had a shit ton of sponsors. Yes. And we had a really successful lady and big blow off and are following on TikTok. We've gone viral quite a few times. It definitely has been. It was the best year. Definitely best year. So far.
So well done, Louisa. Done, done, done. Louisa's second prediction was that a Kardashian would have a lesbian relationship.
Did that happen? Not that I know of. Not in public. That's a good prediction, though. Good punts. Good punts. She had copied it from me the year before. It's a good pun, Lou. Why aren't you one of us should take that into this? Actually, do you know what? I actually remember in my journey down the year before. One of them is going to become the lesbian at some point. Actually, it's coming back to me now. Last year, I think you forgot to do your predictions. So you went Emma, I'll just copy what you said.
OK, so not on that one. OK, that's OK. One out and two. And her third prediction. Yeah. Was that there would be a World War? Well, the practically is. Yeah, absolutely. So I'd say, sadly, you're probably right. Cheery. Cheery. Cheery, but, you know, sort of correct. Sort of correct. Well done. Well done. Yeah. So OK. Anna's. Anna said that one or both of you will be on some sort of celeb show.
I eat your jungle, strictly, something like that. Okay, I did have an interview with Celebrity SAS, and I would have most likely been cast, but the time of the filming, I was on holiday, so I actually couldn't do it. And during the conversation, I was like, one of the dates, and they told me, I was like, I'm really sorry, I can't do it. And they were like, oh, no. So you were semi. So I'm semi. Semi. Semi. And I did get a couple of nibbles.
But nothing really came off. We just really want to do celebrity content. I don't mind that. I don't mind that. You're not that keen on celebrity content. I'm not really, no. I'm paid. It's like for cancer, but it's nice to do something. Oh no, I'll do it for charity. No, I'll take that right back and read this. But of course I do it for charity. Well, it'll be really fun. Me too. I guess I just don't really want to run. I'm not that much of a... How can you not... I mean, it's...
Anyway, we'll see, we'll see, and I'm just going to force you to do it next one. Okay, that one didn't happen. And I also said it would be the best year yet for the pod. Oh, correct, correct. And she said that there would be a major royal drama of Prince Andrew level. Well, they was. The king got cancer.
Oh, and there was the whole... Kate, got cancer. Kate, is she dead? What happened to Kate? Is it A.I.K? I was right. That was on that ilk. It was that big. Yes, it was. Princess of the princess and the king getting cancer, definitely. Okay, she was right. Two out of two. Yeah. So, to both of us, two out of two. Two out of two. There were two more for yours. Mine was that there would be a Jenny Lex and a new PM.
Oh, correct. Correct. Correct. I said Roland, Circia, Stama. It would be Luanna's best year yet. Okay. Correct. Correct. I think we all just manifested. And I said, hopefully, that the Gaza Israel conflict would end. No, sadly not. That's a shame. And it's spread. Okay. Okay. So we go to 2025 predictions. Go on. Okay, mine are.
I think Kear Starmer is going to step down as PM. Did you have that one? Wait, no, wait. Wait. Wait. I think that he'll step down. Wait. And I think Imo is going to get up the duff.
And my last one, it's a really good thing for anything, was that Trump will say something stupid. Right, can I just say, this is, I mean, we don't talk about these. This is genuinely. Have you got the same? So my first one is, we will have a new Prime Minister. Yeah, same to me.
It could be the same party, but different Prime Minister, who knows? They will be a baby in Team Luanna. So, as it has to be you, because it's not us. No, it could be anyone. It could be Jess or Natalie. It could be anyone. I mean, or Andrew. I really don't want her getting up with Jeff. It's really inconvenient for me if she does.
Well, I put a baby in Team Luan. Okay. That's a big, that's a big team. Oh yeah, maybe Andrew and Grace. Could be anyone, who knows? So a baby in Team Luan. Okay. And then my third, and this sounds, I don't, I feel like I'm pouring bad wishes or so on, I'm really not, but I think that Meghan and Harry will either separate or have another baby. I think something big and definitive will happen between them. I think we thought that another, yeah. We thought, we all predicted a baby like two years ago. Yeah.
I think it's going to be make or break year for Meghan and Harry is what I'm saying. Okay. Okay. Well, my predictions were we're going to have a scorching hot summer. Oh, that would be nice. Because we haven't had one in a while. No, actually. The last good weather was in lockdown. We were so lucky to be in lockdown with that weather, weren't we? We were.
Everyone else gets the heat wave apart from us. We did have a nice weekend with our friends this year here, didn't we? That was nice and sketchy, though. We've had bigs, but not like a consistent. Yeah, not consistent. Then we have to wait indoors.
We did, don't we? I thought when Angie's family were here, we were very nice weather. Yeah, not normal. Okay, right. I said that it's going to be a crazy year for like the news because it's already been fucking mad, but I think it's been particularly bad. I said it's been particularly bad, actually.
this year. And it's a bit like newsy-bitty. That's quite vague, to be honest. Crazy news. Yeah, I think that's a bit of a vagal, but we'll let you get away with that. And my last one was that there is going to be some lawmaking slash protection slash guidelines coming in
free family vlogging and kid content online. I think that's very wise. Yes, that's really growing. I think parents exploiting their children will have to stop.
I think that's a good shout though. I saw, I think it was Times or Telegraph, someone had done a big first person feature around why I now regret using my kids on Instagram. That's really interesting and interesting. That's what I think's what happened. Good predictions guys. We'll see. We'll see what we'll have. What do you think, Lufanians? Maybe you want to share yours with us. We would welcome them.
By aspirations, Emma. So should we look back at the year that was? I can't remember anything. I can't remember. I can't remember. Go on. And I'm sure I haven't done any of them. I wanted to have a lovely wedding. Yeah, you did. You did, yes. Oh, we loved your wedding. It feels like ages ago, doesn't it? It was like you've been married for 10 years now. It was beautiful, OK? I did that. Yeah. I wanted to read more.
Yes, you did. And I did do that. Good. Good. And I also wanted to try something new hobby wise. Did you do that? I'm not sure I did that. No, you've just stuck to netborn reading and dance. Yeah. Like already your hobbies. Yeah. But that's okay. That's okay. So not bad. So much time and I do quite a lot anyway.
Do you know what? I can forgive yourself, darling. Yeah. I only have so much time. But also what I quite like, and this is now me going to try and caveat my ass, because I know this is going to go wrong for me, is there's a good level of contentment. That's also quite good. Yeah. Like I think we can over aspire sometimes. I like being an aspirational goal achiever. Okay. Well, let's see, do lose then. What was lose? What did I say? What were the aspirations? Well, she had four.
Oh, I'm very aspirational. She wanted to work less, get a vegetable patch, and build a duck to duck coop. Sorry. Well, to be fair, you did all that. Sorry, that was all in one. Yep.
Well, I have success through work less. I stopped in ads back in March, which has made me very much happier. However, I am going to ask Agent Sam how much money I've missed out on and then revisit whether I do ads next year because I don't even want to know. But I am a lot happier not doing ads. I did build the duck, the duck houses, which then I turn into a slime shed when I realized my ducks want to live free. And what's the last one? Do my gardening.
Yep. Plan. I successfully bought three massive veg truck things that I didn't manage to fill and see. Okay. But I bought them. But you bought them. And I put water in where they're going to go.
So I'm moving that one forward for next year. Nice. So that was one. Nice. Wow. That was a big one. Then you said you wanted to qualify to go to the European champs. Did that. There she is. You did that one. Smash that. You said you wanted to build an indoor school. I got all the plans done. I got the quotes.
I washed it. And then I decided to put it off for a few years when I saw the price. Yeah. Okay, but you know, you started it. I've got, I've got like all the plans in place. I'm like nearly there. I'm ready to push go, basically. Okay. And the last one. As you said, you wanted Luanna to write a new show or musical. Oh my God, I've said that this year as well.
Well, to be fair, we did do the big blow off. Did you do a new show? Yeah. True. I'd say that would count. I would say that would count. We did do the big blow off, which was a brand new Luanna thing that we'd never done before. I would say that would count. So actually, I would say I'm a high achiever.
And I achieved all my aspirations. Pretty much they were all in motion. Yeah. If not achieved. Except I really would want an indoor, I really do want an indoor school, but just got that house in Dubai. It's going to have to wait. Well done though, not bad. I mean, there's a ceiling. There's always an in my life guys. Yeah.
Not a Mariah Carey's life. She's done it six grand. Exactly. She's got that bloody school. Lasted out for the past couple of weeks. Oh, she'd have those. She'd have ten indoor schools. Exactly. Bitch. That digger would be it in five minutes. Right, come on then. I've dred to see what I said. She wouldn't care about the local planners. No, she'd pay off. Because I've lived in a bloody grade two star-listed house. Who put the star on it? Who put the star on it? Right. Right, go on then.
Anna. Go on then. She wanted to join a choir and perform at Westminster Abbey. Oh, don't know where that bit came from. I mean, that really was delusions of grandeur. She wanted to join a choir. I joined two choirs, actually. I happened to be with one of them, just.
But I did join it just because of the time. But then I have recently obviously done my committed pop-up choir, which I really enjoy. So I did do that well. And got the solo. Well, I don't, I just take you to Westminster Abbey and I'll film you singing outside of it. Let's do that. We'll do that. So love Westminster. Perfect. There you go. I'm sorry, going into Westminster Abbey.
Do you know what I should have done? Just because you crack in a mic out and start to roll. You know when... Not to get... I didn't get him. But when Prince's Kate did a Carol's at Christmas at Westminster, I should have just rocked up and then just busted out really loudly one of the verses and then filmed myself. That would have technically counted. That would have counted. It would have counted. Okay, never mind.
Next one. You said you hoped that one of you would do a massive celeb talent show, i.e. MasterChef Pointless, Tipping Point, etc.
Oh, yes, I did. I did tipping point. Yeah, you did tipping point. Slap to tipping point. It was on the other way. I didn't do that. I didn't miss it. I mean, I didn't miss it. I didn't want to miss it. I didn't miss it. I didn't do that though. Well done. Oh, did no say. Get this. And the last one is a recurring theme. Get the Renault done or just move.
Oh my god. Okay. Shall we bring that into 2025? How do you say that? It was in 2023, 2024. And is it now going to be in? Shall we start with Anna then? Let's start with your operation. Do we do it? We did yours, it was. Yeah. Okay. Well, 2020, so this year's aspirations. Well, well, we've started with to finally
bring the granny pad into 2025 for the third year running. So, so who knows what might happen? We're going to be saying this same old shit in 2020. We probably will. If that happens, I might set up a little dickhead Instagram account for it as well. I'll say you can get freebies. I respect that. Thank you, mate. Thanks. As long as you're honest about it.
I'm finally doing at the granny pad, I'm going to set up a home rental page. If anyone wants to collab, hit me up because I could do with the help. Literally, it's transparent. And that's what I like about that. There will be no transparency. Hashtag authentic, exactly. If you want to give me a free kitchen or even a discount, I'll happily peddle it.
As long as I like it, no shit's going in my house. So you don't want to show out that you don't want to. So then guarantees a win-win, you'll know I like it if I've got it in there. And I'm happy to pay for it if not, but you know what I mean? But I put a slash in here. We're actually heavily discounted, right? Yes, please. I put a slash in here. Just because I was a bit aware that the Renault one is a bit old now. Okay. Slash, get a kitten. Oh, a little rag doll. It's time to get a little kitten this year. Oh. We'll get a kitten. Yeah, what will it be called?
Well, the kids were on this. The kids started fighting and rowing about what they'd call her. That's why I had to get three. A kid's, I know, ends up on a quick ninja and... Oh, that's a great name! It's quite a good name to furniture. Ninja's a great cat now. And we went with a classic girl, like... Let's call it Fluffy Rainbow Sparkle game. I'm all for ninja. Yeah, a ninja's quite good actually. I did a kitten once called Hooligan, called it Hoolie. Love that. Hoolie. It's a good name, isn't it? It's a good name. My mum made me give it away. Do you want to let me keep Hoolie? Hoolie, Hoolie went. Hoolie bought it. Hoolie went.
Then I've put, I mean, again, it's the same, the same one. I've put, to go on another reality competition, I've put in here, don't mind what, dancing on ice, strictly, I'm a celebrity, I'll take anything, Antiques Roadshow. Oh, I bet that's a lot of fun. Yeah, whatever, whatever's off for offer. And then, well, that was good. And then I've put in, it's a bit of a Loana aspiration. I've put, Loana this year to break a record or to win a particularly big significant award. Yeah.
That's what I've put in. That's nice. Does it just manifesting that out there? Those are mine. Mine are. I said, I do want to plant my salad leaves this year.
Yeah, it's a good one. And I want to start like lose leaves. And maybe I can supply David at the pub with my salad leaves. Oh, Lou, I love this. That's why I'm thinking. It's a good idea. Lose leaves, lose leaves. So yeah, I want to do that. Yeah. And I've put, I really, really want to write a new Luanna musical. Really, really. Flash show. It's like me in my, I really, really, really, really, really want to do it right now. Yeah. And slash pod panto of some sort. Okay. So that, I really, really do want
to do that. And I want us to perform it in 2026. Fine. I really do want to do that. No, we're going to do that. We're going to do that. So we need to put time aside for that. We'll do that. That's fine. That's fine. Also, we'd quite like to just experiment with Luanna on OnlyFans with the feet.
I just think that we've talked about this so much. Our husbands need to get over it, because Andrew's not so keen on it, but I think if we set it up in a... Well, I think if we set this up in a comedy way and the proceeds go to charity, we should do it.
Initially, we'll put the prices to charity. Then when it's recent, so we might change our minds and backtrack and start keeping the prices. But I think if we did it with a charity comedic charity angle, I would quite like us to do the Luanna Only Feet.
Okay. Okay. And then, finally, on the horse riding front of Porta new horse Riri, she comes in January, middle of Jan. How many are we up to now? 83. I think she's number 13. Brilliant. There it is. Lucky for some. And I really want to do an FEI into one dress I'll test on her, which would be the highest level I've ever ridden at. Exciting.
go like that and you horse that's what I would like to do on her this year. Like that. That's my aspiration. That's that. Emmie, what are yours? My aspirations are two.
Number one. Yeah. Okay. I want to be successful in my hills classes. So I've just trained to teach dancing in hills and I'm starting them in the middle. Hold on. No, not pole dancing. No, no, no, no. Just dancing hills. It's like strip of hills or little hills. Just like four, five in hills. Ballroom hills. No.
I've never heard that. Yeah, but do you know, am I good for you? That's brilliant. I'm taking views. So do you do like normal dancing? Yeah. And then there's a specialist off shot like point for ballet that you don't do special. It's like slightly more sexy.
You're in a heel. Okay. It's like a specialist. Okay, fine. We're calling it sophisticated filth. Like that's a style. I have heard this. I'm very cold. Yeah. Yeah, it's freezing, actually. Yes, please. Yeah. So I'm starting those classes in the near. Are you teaching them or you're learning them? I'm teaching them. Oh, oh, that's fantastic. That's really good. So this is already happening. Yeah.
Okay, I love that. So that's my first one. My second one was, I want to do a bit of a reset and a bit of a year of taking care of me. As in, sorting out like a decent skincare routine and sticking with it. Yeah. Like really focusing on mind, body, soul, homework, balance, all of that shit.
Third eye. You want to be, you want to restore some equilibrium into your life. Indeed. Love that, Em. Okay, love it. That's really nice. There's been a lot of like ups and downs this year, I mean, in 2024 for me. And I just would like it to be a little steadier.
Okay, that's good. That's a good focus, actually, to go into the new year with that focus and always be mindful that that is your aim for this year. Very mindful. Yeah. Very mindful. Are you going to do mindful classes? My friend did something else, said it was amazing. Changed the way she thinks about things. Interesting. Yeah.
She doesn't see what she said. Mindfulness is... Mindfulness and meditation is I think everybody should do it. It 100% changed my life and my anxiety, which I rarely get. And my last one, do that. Oh yeah. It's just to take more pictures because when I'm scrolling through my camera reel,
It's a lot of screenshots and like stuff from dancing but not much else and I'd like to just take more pictures of things that are going on of my friends, of us, etc.
Love that. Okay, I like that. All very achievable. I like that. They're really, really important, but not overwhelming. Oh, I'm also adding one to mine. Do you remember I used to be able to do the splits? Yes. Can't do them anymore, and I don't know why. Oh, maybe I'm back. I think it's since my back, so I would like to do the splits again.
I've been starting to stretch, so I'm trying to teach myself to do it. I've got very tight hip flexors and a very tight psoas muscle. I'm really like to really do the splits by the end of 2020. Love that. And I would like to say I love all of this because I am, you know me, Life Coach, New Year, New Year, New Year, and this is my
like burgeoning period, but it is really important just to do shit for you. Do stuff for you guys, like keep the stress levels down, stop the people pleasing, enjoy saying no to things, but also enjoy saying yes to the right things. The art of saying no. Yes, and just take, stop putting pressure on yourself. That's what I think. There's too much bullshit. I've got another aspiration of mine. I would like to keep
two weekends, three a month. So just have like one weekend doing something, one we can not, one we can do something, one we can not. To allow for more spontaneity, to allow to be like, oh babe, I'm cooking a roast, do you wanna come over to the kids? Like I kind of want that vibe. And when people invite me to things and they try and like tie me down to stuff, I'm just gonna be really honest. And I'm gonna say, look, my goal this year is to keep more time free for spontaneity. So I can't commit to that. Do you wanna know fun fact? Yeah. That's what I do.
I'm just not available as much as I can. Unless it's something you really want to do. Unless it has to be really good, but I really manage the diary to ensure that there's lots of downtime because there's nothing worse than for me. I'm getting a nana now. I can't do two weekends on a bounce. And I need to look forward to it. And I love them. Yesterday, last weekend, for example,
And you know what, I just love just doing nothing. A day of no obligation. It's just you go as what it's called. My mate Al gave it to me. It's a day of no obligation. And it's so liberating and so freeing, especially when you have children as well, because like for us, like Saturdays are our sport, days with the kids. And I really do try and keep things really fluid at least every other weekend. You have to otherwise, I just like to do that. The family just burns out.
And it's a really nice way of chilling. Well, I just, I'm always doing something. Don't plan. And I like the back so much shit up in my, like, money sheets and whether that's right. Like, I'm always doing something and I would like to not do that. But you have to plan to do nothing. Yeah. And I do this all the time. I am the queen. And I thought of you to take the piss, but now I'm in admiration. Thank you, my upbringing.
because actually I need to do this. It's unapologetically diarizing time out, and it's a non-negotiable, as you say, and it has to be, for me, the only way I will break that is if it is something really important, like the kid's illness or something like that. But I, because in life, we just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. And you end up, well, I think the reason why I do it though is because I've had two massive break downs, and I know that to keep the happy person that I am, which is nauseating as that sounds, it is because I do practise what I preach.
Well, that is good. And I need to do more because I literally will plan my day down to every hour. And I don't even leave myself like 10 minutes in between stuff. Sometimes I don't even go to the toilet because I've got to go to the next thing. It's ridiculous. That's why I don't eat all day sometimes because I actually don't have time to eat. And so I'm going to stop doing this. Yeah, stop doing it because then when you say to yourself, Oh my God, I'm just so busy.
but we are the creators. Exactly where the creators of our own busyness just take and we also need to stop apologizing for doing nothing. Like everyone then feels guilty. No. Don't feel guilty. Nothing. We do too much. That's our life cage of the week. That's our thought of the week. I mean, who knows? In 12 months time, guys, we'll review this and see exactly where we are and how many mental breakdowns we've had between all of us.
But that is it for today, guys. I thoroughly enjoyed that. We will see in 12 months' time how we all fare. But that is it. We look forward to seeing you on Monday. Monday. Normal business is going to resume. Have a good rest of week. But don't forget as well to get all of your guffin. Yeah. All of your guffin. New year guffin. We are going to start 2025. Did you have a new year, Shag? That would be nice to know. What did I mean? That would be 10.
I'm joking. I'm joking. But listen, 2025, guys. This is when we are going to step shit up in Luanna Land, OK? We want all of your input, what you like, what you want more of, what you'd like us to do. Get in your stuff right now. We're going to shake shit up at Team Luanna. So it is Luanna at
EverythingLana.com. Do you have any feature ideas? We want all of your juicy anecdote to let us know. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah, O745. Two double six, nine four seven is our WhatsApp number as well for a voice note or a message. So yeah, let's get started with 2025. Maybe you can give us some ideas and we can get things kick started. Have a good one, guys. We'll see you Monday.
