Tom's Face Overshadowed Matthew McConaughey | YMH Ep. 786

Welcome! Welcome to your mom!

Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. Hi, Jean. I'm so happy to be back. I'm happy to be here. Looking very natural, very relaxed, very calm. Feeling good. I got a lot of people commented on the fact that I had a shaved head and a shaved face. Not just that. You guys had Matthew McConaughey on two bears, one cave and the majority of the comments were about your lack of a beard.

And overwhelming. Yeah. People were not talking about the Oscar award-winning A-lister. No. They were talking about my face. And here's the thing. They weren't that nice about it. It's weird. It was very strange. Why? What were they saying? Not nice things. My favorite comment, you told me they're like, I think Christina gave Tom her cancer. Well, here. Here's some of the comments.

The beard looks like a baby who grew up fast. That's funny. Tom looks like he's been boiled. Tom going full Dallas Buyers Club for this guest. The movie where Matthew McConaughey had AIDS. Oh, sure. Yeah. Let's see. Who's the human hot dog sitting next to her? Invisalign really did a number on Tom. Oh.

Why is John love it hanging out with Tom with Bert and Matthew? I mean, Tom was like the neighbor. I mean, I thought I looked like a normal guy. Can I tell you that? Actually, you photograph really well without the beard. In real life, it was very jarring and alarming. And those comments were accurate, but I feel like when you're photographing, it's really nice. Why was it jarring in person?

It's just not you, and I don't like how expressive you are. See, right now, this is the level of expression I'm used to, where your mouth is covered, everything's covered, it's just very placid and bathed. You don't like me being more expressive. Nope, not at all. It's very weird, because I don't, I don't not use to you having for you. At first, you were like, oh, this is nice. I can see. I didn't know your teeth. Your teeth are not as yellow as I thought they were when you had a beard.

Beardless Tom is post-nut clarity in human form. Oh my God, it's so true. That's so true. I think that's a good. Now that is just a girl. Tom looks like an aggressive lesbian. No, I don't see that. You like that one? He's really like that one. Is Tom dying from Christina's cancer? He sure fucking looks that way. Tom with that out of beard is like seeing an owl's legs.

Well, that's funny. Tom looks like the word ringworm. I mean... That's so true. Oh, Eni's reaction when I walked in that day was just... Flex like a little like when I walked around. That's so true. Holy shit, I don't even know they had legs like that. Dude, will you chill out?

That is 100% accurate. He laughed hysterically. That was a funniest shit. That was a funniest shit. Because I thought you were just one of those fucking porosos niggas, you know what I'm saying? Wow. Yeah, one of the investors or whatever. And you're like, hey, anyone like, hey, what's up? Oh, you don't look like Tom left Timothy nigga.

That ain't you, dog. You're Timothy without, that's so true. Because you're already pretty white guy, but then it takes it to another level. Super white guy. The whole world has been taken over by Timothy Segura.

In fact, I would like to share something that I have done in honor of your lack of facial hair. It took the world by storm and to commemorate this once in a lifetime thing that we saw Tom without his facial hair. It's like Haley's comment. It's never going to happen again in your lifetime.

I have drawn. This took days, days. You've really been getting into like painting and drawing and everything. I've got a lot of free time. My hobbies. I've been to hobbies and stuff. And I sat down and this took about a month to do. Hmm. It's only been a couple of weeks, but okay. This is Tom.

right now. And what I love about this is the attention to detail. He doesn't seem to appreciate it, but people in the art world have really been enjoying it. Let's start with the top. Oh, sure. I love I did there. I like the attention to detail, the red splotches on the top of your head, you know, from various sunburn or just the pink hue in your skin. It just gets pinker up there.

The eyebrows are still the meanies. You've always got those meanies going.

beautiful blue eyes, as blue as the sea. And then the dark rings under them, you know, just that's always going to be there. The patchy, blotchy, swollen, puffy darkness. And then the nose, now some people would say, oh, that's not Tom's nose. It's Tom's future nose. I thought I would kind of give the picture a little time travel element. It's what's his name, our favorite guy from the coming to America.

John Amos. John Amos knows. And you got those beautiful mouth. That's a beautiful mouth. Beautiful full lips. And then the chest hair and the beige. I didn't have a beige crayon, so I used yellow. Well, real top to your work. Now, are you selling prints? Of course I am. I'll be selling these on ymhstudios.com signed, of course, to commemorate Tom's babyface. What's the price on these? I haven't decided yet. What do you think? I mean, you tell me.

I mean, it looks really, really like high-level stuff. It is, Tom. It took me a long time. It's very cool. I haven't decided yet. People also demanded, by the way, like so entitled, we demand an explanation.

So I'll give you the explanation because you demand it. Yeah. I did it for, I had to do it for a television show that I've been shooting for a part that I don't want to give away. Why? When you see it, you'll go, Oh, this makes sense. Yeah. But that's why I didn't do it just because I felt. On a whim. Well, no, I've been trying to get you to shave this beard for 15 years. You won't do it.

Both my parents, my dad was alive and my mom are out there always like, please. My dad would be like, why don't you just get rid of this shit. Yeah. And my mom's like, please, please. Well, the last time you had a bare face is when we were married. It's very long. Four thousand eight, four, thirteen thousand years ago. It feels like five million years. It feels a lot longer. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Um, it grew back very fast. My hair and my head grew back. It's amazing. What have you been doing?

Just taking vitamins, man. Yeah. You're on a lot of supplements and supplements and working out. Vitamin went to the gym this morning. Had one of those protein shakes you like. Well, they gave you massive farts. That's a problem. I love that people are very upset by your lack of it. Very, very mad at me. But I get it. And then I get like one out of.

200 messages would be like, I think it looks good. Don't, don't listen to everybody. Thank you. Yeah. I was like, oh, thanks. But it is, you know, we all know you as bearded, bearded Tom bear Tom. I don't like it when you change your appearance either. I'm back. Yeah. Your owl's legs face. That's so good.

So it's a really, I gotta tell you, I feel real good today. This is nice going over all these comments and hearing your breakdown and this beautiful painting. Let's uh... Yeah, YMAstudios.com. Let's open the show. Get your print now. Get your print now, here we go.

He spreads my cheeks, and he makes me scream. He's my number one daddy. Gonna make him creep inside of me while he's kissing so softly. Got a nice voice. Good job, Will.

Oh shit. Almost fucked up. Fuck.

Hey, there you go, Will Blunderfeld. It's got a nice voice. He has an amazing voice. Also, what I love about Will Blunderfeld, because I keep up with him on the gram, Tom, is he finds unique different ways every single day to advertise homosexuality to straight men.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't think it's really about that. I think it's about just becoming comfortable with your own masculinity. I don't like the way you pivoted that. You know, I'm sorry. I'm making cream inside of me. That's something a straight guy can do. Of course. No, but like the yesterday's post is like, if you're not sucking on your bro's hummus cannon, don't expect to attract the ladies. Exactly. If you really want to attract ladies. If you are straight and you like women,

One of the straightest things you can do is spend time new with your friends. Your bros. Your guy, friends, and suck their nipples, cup their balls. I've been saying this, it just feels like I feel validated by will becoming kind of more well-known. But kind of doesn't it make sense on a level? Oh yeah, tons of sense. Well, no, I'm being serious because- I'm saying serious too. You're just generating more testosterone, more male hormone. If you're straight, fuck a guy.

Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing straighter than that. Of course. He makes a lot of sense.

I'm gonna, I've been really, I've been scared because I'm kind of, I guess I'm kind of homophobic, but yeah, I've been wanting to fuck a guy. You should try it. Yeah. I think, I think you should do it. Makes a lot of sense. Can I tell you the time to do it? Yeah. Is now before people start recognizing you. Yeah. Because we walk down the streets and it's a little less people recognize you. You could probably get away with fucking a normal guy in a bar right now. Totally.

You don't have to go to an escort, is what I'm saying. He spreads my cheeks. Listen to that. Yeah. I love Will's passion. He's very passionate. Very passionate. He spreads my cheeks. There's so much sense. And when he creams in his, where does he cream inside of him? Inside of him? In his B? Yeah. Wow.

As he kisses him softly. Oh, that's so nice. He's this number one daddy. Yeah. But then the thing is you leave there and you're like, I feel like fucking a chick. That's, I think I'm so juiced up. I'm so juiced up with all this jizz in my ass. I feel like giving it to a girl now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And really, when you think about it, you're like, Oh, I'm full from the back. And now I want to give it to the front to the girl. Who would you make gay love to?

I hope it's somebody I don't know yet.

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No, I'm too connected to him. I just know I'm too. You need to have I need to start emotional. Yeah, just yeah, just a stranger. Yeah. Don't know you. Yeah, you know, hook him horns, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Get in there. And I'm like, well, that was crazy. I'm super straight and then just go. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. Where you've been? I'd be like, I'm just fucking working out. What do you think of it? Yeah. That's where I went this morning to work out.

Oh, I know you're always having gay affairs. I'm convinced of it. I'm convinced of it every time you leave. So even though I hate to pivot away from that conversation, it's crazy how much has happened since the last time we were in here. We had our election. We have a new president, a familiar new president. So exciting. So exciting to return to stability and logic and just good old Americana. Times have changed, Tom.

and cabinets being named. It's an exciting time. It's going to be a great four years. I'm very optimistic. I like to be optimistic. I think everything's going to be real cool and normal. And so that's fun. We have a president and we're

I, you know, I will say though, is that I've been on Melania TikTok. I've been going down her rabbit hole. She has an account? Well, no, just like videos of her. Yeah. And horrible. God fucking hated that. I don't think I had a full appreciation for her when she was our first lady. And now I because she's Slovenian.

And she also didn't really do her say much. She married a guy who was like, I have penthouses in New York. She's like, great. I like this life. Great. I want to have Birkin bag. That's all she wanted out of this. You live in a DC. I think she hates it. She wants to go live in Park Avenue is what I'd rather stay.

So it's going to be nice seeing her. She's very thin. She's very beautiful. Her outfits are great. Just great outfits. Because, you know, the first ladies, historically, I say, aside from Michelle Obama, who was very attractive, they've been dogs, the dog pound. So it's nice to have a hot chick back. Baron's all a six, six with their kid. I know. And he's like a teen. He's 18. You're going to have like a whole other, you know, teen vibe in the White House.

It'd be interesting to see what this kid is like. But yeah, Melania back and... It's very exciting. We're gonna make America great again. Oh, sure. Yeah, see, look at these dogs. Look at those. Martha Jefferson looks like a smoke shop. Oof. Martha Washington dog. Look at that. Oof. And these are paintings, which means they're forgiving. Forgiving, yeah. Looks like Angelica Van Buren was all right. I like... Oof, Harrison.

It's just Margaret Taylor. There's real fucking dogs in here. Oof. Look at Patterson. But hold on. Do you think these chicks were hot for their time? No. Like Lucretia Garfield was she a smoke show? Was she the Melania? Look at look at Grant. Look at Julia Grant. Hold on. Where is she? She looks like a runaway right there in the middle.

Oh yeah, she looks like a serial killer. Oof. Yeah, there's some bad ones. Hey, Ellen Arthur there. That's that's flat. I'm gonna say Frances Cleveland is the hottest so far. What? Frances Cleveland. She's got the color portrait. Oh, okay. I mean, dark beauty. I don't know. Look at fucking McKinley there. They're like, just face the wall. We don't have your whole face on the fucking thing.

Oof. Eileen Wilson. Look at her. She looks like a lunch lady. Hold on. You're cool. It's kind of bad, though. We're looking at cool. Grace. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Grace can get it right, Tom, as you say. Mm-hmm. Oh, look at Mamie's got them baby bangs, Eisenhower. Yeah, she looks like a... All right. Jackie Kennedy. Yeah. And they didn't even really flatter her that much. No, Jackie had those pug eyes. They were kind of... Uh-oh.

I think you've been found out, my friend. Fuck. Nothing to see here. And a few else. Patricia Nixon. See, can we?

Betty Ford was a pill popper. Nice. Yeah. She started that whole thing. The thing. Barbara Bush out. She always looked old. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. She's always been Barbara Bush looked 80 and she was 40. Yes. That's really crazy. Yeah. But Nancy Reagan was flattering Hillary Clinton portrait. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Laura Bush. OK.

Yeah, Laura was, she was attractive. Hey, there's Melania. She's like, I'm model. Melania is totally the model look. Yeah. And then, I mean, Dr. Biden's an attractive lady. She's nice. Nice looking lady. What? What?

So yeah, it's nice that we'll have a Slovenian model back in the way. I'm a Slovenian model. This fucking Christmas shit. Sounds like my mother. Yeah, it is. I don't want to do this Christmas shit. And she's one of the only, because she's lived in like...

You know, the greatest housing you could ever live in. She goes to the White House. She's like, this is bullshit. Of course. This is disgusting. This is not Park Avenue. And all you get is the residence quarters. You don't live in the whole house, so she's like, this is fucking suck. This is fucking bullshit. Hold on, though. Does Trump correct me if I'm wrong, but did he lose some LBs and now his suits fit better?

Did he finally alter his suit? He may have actually had them tailored too. Yeah, he had a remix. They were always like super baggy, really weird. And he's not as orange this time around. He's using less orange. Somebody blended his concealer into his foundation. Yeah. And he stopped tanning so dark. So somebody talked to him, somebody got to him. I don't know who it was. I love the appearance. Yeah. Maybe Melania.

Maybe. I love her so much. Oh, yeah. See, the suits fit now. He's changing it. Yeah. Not as orange. He's also 78. Yeah. Isn't that young? No. But you know, he doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke cigarettes. He doesn't do drugs. See, what does it say? Finally addresses his weight loss? What does it say? He lost 15, maybe 20 pounds. Yeah, that's significant. Yeah. 77 there. Yeah.

Because he's too busy to eat. All right. I love that he hired where he's nominated RFK Junior to be the health minister. Yeah. And they celebrated by all having McDonald's together. Yeah.

I don't think anything summarizes Donald Trump more than that. The legacy is like, here we are. Here's my new health guy. And you know it wasn't hot and fresh because they're on the plane. I know. So that's the worst way to eat McDonald's. Yeah, don't eat McDonald's cold. You got to have McDonald's at McDonald's. Piping hot.

piping hot, otherwise you can taste how it's made. I'm gonna fucking die after I eat this. You ever smell a McDonald's bag that you've left in your car? In the car, yeah. Just an hour later, you're like, did someone take your shit in your... It's like actual poison. Yeah, it's terrible. It's like homeless dudes, shitting in your car. The kids leave fries all the time in the crevices of my car. Yeah. It smells foul. Yeah. It's no good. Yeah. Well, people are real stoked, I can tell you that. People are, America is pumped.

I mean, people that I run into all the time are like, fucking, are you excited? And I was like, what? Okay. Sure. I just, it's just, it's just same shit, different toilet. I was in a production here. I'm going to take my. What are you doing? What are you doing? I actually, this isn't my real life.

But my hair has been growing back. My beard's been growing back. Looks amazing. This is like eight days, nine days growth. Dude, you can grow a beard so fast. Yeah, it's coming back in. I have to shoot more of the show. Scenes? Scenes in the bearded scenes in a few weeks. So I actually need this to be back to where it was. Yeah. So I'm shooting a show. And the morning after the election,

I'm in a, you know, this is a Hollywood production. It's no secret. Everybody that works in most people that work in production are pretty liberal. So we, we, um, the morning after everyone I run into is super bummed out, right? I'm just kind of like, California is wailing and weeping. Of course. In Texas, they're like, everybody's so happy. Yeah.

So I walk in and I was, I mean, I don't think I made it much of a mystery. Like I've never been a big Trump fan, but I also, I'm not like a panic bunny who's just going to like the world is that I just kind of accept what it is. So I'm like, yeah, we got this fucking retard back. And then I walk in to the trailer and everyone's like, good morning. Like shit. And I'm like, good morning. And they're like,

And then kind of a long night. And I'm like, yeah. And then I try to joke. I walk up to one of the crew, I go, hey, we're getting our country back.

And they do not laugh. They don't laugh at all. So I'm like, all right. And then it's just like, we also are, we have to get to work, right? We have a long day, it's six o'clock in the morning. We have a fucking 12 hours ahead of us. I get in the chair and get in the makeup and costume. And then we were at a location, then we moved to another location. And when I moved into the house,

the next location. I see someone who haven't seen in a while who's a real Texan who's like, hey, it's good to see you. Glad you're shooting here. And I was like, yeah, you know, thanks for having us. And I just go, how you doing? Because I'm like, how you been? How you doing? He goes, I'm feeling real that he goes

Feeling pretty fucking good about last night. And I go, shut the fuck up. And he's like, what? I go, dude. There's 100 crew people here. And none of them want to hear that. He's like, all right, right, right. He's like, yeah. He's like, I'm pretty happy. And I was like, yeah, cool, cool. Chill the fuck out.

Like, you can't announce that right here. You're gonna fuck up our whole day. Everyone's gonna start crying, yeah. But that's just, yeah, that's just the way it is. Yeah, people from California are friends texting us, like, is everything okay? Oh my God. What's going on? I'm like, no one cares here. Texas is its own universe.

We're unaffected by everything. Of course. We could succeed tomorrow and be totally fine. Yeah, but I also feel like culture elections. People always put so much into how things are going to change. I know. And shit's not going to change. It's only for a year. I mean, look, it's not a political person. Things are not going to change. Your life's not going to change. It's not people are like, I miss gas prices. Like, huh?

Do you know that like that's not how gas prices work? The president doesn't get in and go new gas prices. It's not how it works. I don't think you know how do you do you have anything new gas? Yeah, they're just like a fucking gas was cheaper and you're like, uh-huh. You know, it has to do with the price of oil at the time, right? That US president doesn't dictate that. I mean, whatever, people are fucking moron. So like, yeah, what did the vice president do the last four years? Like, do you know what the vice president's job is? Like that's not vice president's not going to be like, here's what I've done the last four years.

What is the vice president's job? To fucking be a figurehead and support the administration. That's it. That's all they do. Like that person's there. And whatever the president says, they go, that's right. Right. They're a hype man. Like they're just supposed to be there in case the press get shot. Yes. And then you're back up. And you just are a mouthpiece for the press. You don't do anything. You're a, you're like a figure. You're like the queen of England. You just show up. You show up places and you fade away and they go, get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

You don't do anything. That sounds cool. They're figureheads. Do you want to run for president and I'll be your VP? No, I'd rather be VP. I don't want to fucking do anything. I don't want to do anything. Yeah. I don't want to be first lady. That's way too much. Yeah, you have to. That's too much. I have to pretend to be into causes and stuff like. You know, vice president, you show up. People go, we forgot you were a fucking vice president. You're like, yeah, I know I've been busy at the residence.

Yeah, they don't do shit. And then all they do is like they go, the press goes, what do you think of the president's decision? Yeah, it's great. They go, yeah. But the president has a great plan, 100% behind him. It's basically the job of a wife, like whenever your husband does stupid shit, you have to be like, no, he's right. He's 100% right. That's 100% right. And I'm behind this person. No matter what. The vice president should inherently be the first lady because the first lady knows how to do it. Yeah.

If you get elected president, your wife is vice president. That should be how it goes. That should be the rule. But then what happens if he gets shot? Then she's got to do it. Then you have to find a white guy to replace the vice president. That's right. I don't want to be president.

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Yeah, I mean, yes, technically the VP is president of the Senate. Again, it's just a fucking president of the Senate. They have a deciding vote, you know, on ties. But it's rarely ever something that they go to, but it's all like, it's like a representation of something. It's not real work. It's being the wife to the president, basically.

It should always be done by a woman, because we're just easier to get along with. You think so? And we're just like, yeah, that's so you're so smart, babe. It's kind of like what I do with you. I'm like, babe, you're so handsome. You're so smart. Everything you do is around. Now, here's something that there was a third party candidate that wasn't on a lot of ballots that people don't know about. Diarrhea test 468 initiate.

This guy does this all the time. I can vote for this immediately. It was stepping. Don't step in it. He's afraid of stepping in it. He just loaded the shorts up, but you don't want to step. I know that feeling.

It's like when your cat shits in the litter box and it's squirrely. He's trying not to step. This guy's brilliant. Yeah, he's been doing a lot of cool stuff. Uncle Ron.

Now, might I make a suggestion, Uncle Ron? Yeah. If you really want to engage your followers, you should make cellophane underwear. Tight cellophane. You can actually see. I want to see what I'm missing. Yeah. This is too much of the imagination. Diarrhea test 470. Don't push too hard. You don't have to push.

Oh, he's peeing too! That's a surprise. What is this, man? It appears to be just your very interesting findings more to fall. You gotta keep looking at that at time, a fucking loser. God damn it.

That's how I feel when I'm chasing him. He does a lot of humor posts, though, too. I follow this guy. Where are you finding him? He's on IG. These are on Instagram. No! How have I missed this guy? You may have seen him in one of his other videos. What's his name? What is the actual page? Uncle Ron returns. Is that the name of the handle? Yeah. Is this on YouTube? No, I think it's just Instagram. This is awesome. Now, see, Instagram is caught up to TikTok, and I will even say, surpass TikTok.

Now when I find my curations, yeah, it's become more mainstream. I hate this as that you flagged us for me that I have to watch this. Yeah.

for those people just listening. It's a dude on public transportation violently picking his nose and then eating the books. Oh, isn't that special? This is an Asian one. This is what Japan usually are not that disgusting. Right? Aren't Japanese people like hygienic and public and stuff? I don't know. They could be wrong. I'm fucking sick. Did you like that? No, I hated it so much. Why do you hate that so bad?

I know what you're doing. I know what the fuck you're doing. You're looking for retaliation. Yes, you are You know what they kind of look like those don't in my pockets You know like the don't eat packets side. Yeah, I was like make it fresher naked team All right, how long you're about influence Michael

I'm like, I'm so honored that I'm the person who's peer pressured you to do nicotine patches for the first time. Yeah, yeah, I've never done nicotine ever, so I don't know what to expect. It's so good. The first time. The Rick Ross. Yeah, I do look like Rick Ross. This kid's gonna be stung. Sometimes, if I'm in the right headspace. Oh, yeah. Sweat and horse.

He's sweating already. No, he's not fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He was just fine. You missed it. He was fine. No, I don't want to say that. I know you. You know, it's not. Yes, it is. Don't lie to me. He passes out. He passes out.

He passes out. Look, he hits the table with his head. Yes, no, he doesn't. He hits the table with his head. Look, you're missing. I don't like it. You fucking asshole. You fucking asshole. You fucking asshole. Ew, he puked up everywhere. It's all paid. Is that going to happen to me if I try that? No. No. You're such a fucker. You know that. I hate you. I take back everything nice. I've ever been so upset about you. What happened? You said you're done with something. I hate you so much. What were you done with?

Anyway, I finished radiation. Thank you for your support, Tom. Thanks, Josh.

You smelt it here first. Tell us. Done. I did 35 rounds of fucking Chernobyl in my tits and my body. And I'm glad I'm done. Cancer treatment is officially over. I'm cancer free and I'm fucking back. And then I'll get my tits done in six months. But I know you guys have been wondering what magazines did I leave on my last day of treatment.

I have photos. I had to go all over Austin to find a magazine stand. It's very hard to find quality mags these days. I did find a gay travel magazine. I don't have that one. I ended up not dropping it. It was too aggressive. They were holding each other too much and touching their junk.

So what I left instead was Elizabeth Hurley on the cover of Maxim. This is in the waiting room. I've been dropping it. Oh, and she's leaning over in the tits. Yeah, her tits are out. She's older for a Maxim model, I'd say, but I figured the older crowd would appreciate that. Definitely. And then, of course, my final token, Weed World. Weed World. I thought that was pretty fun. That's very cool. And also, this is the right audience for getting into weed.

Yeah, it's true. The cancer crowd. The cancer crowd. I love it. I was like, you know, I've been hearing about this stuff. That's true. I didn't even think about that. What? Tangerine dream. Tangerine dream. So that's it. I'm done. I wore a prom dress to my last treatment. Look at you. There I am. You look great. My Chernobyl yellow dress. You look festive. It's my buddy. I'm super happy. I've rang the bell. And I was worried that I would be kind of a nanny-nanny poo-poo to the sick people. Guess what?

They all clapped and cheered, and it was very special and beautiful. That's very sweet. And that was it. And now I'm severely traumatized. I've been reading horror porn, like Clive Barker books, like books of blood. Yeah. I don't know what that means. Very dark, but also very horny at the same time. It's horny. It's horny and dark. How's the cob?

Why? I don't understand. Because it's like they talk about sexual stuff at the same time ripping flesh off of bones and stuff. And it'll get them aroused to see blood and guts. Who's aroused by it? The characters, these are all short stories.

But they're aroused by horror and gore and weirdness. It's a whole new genre I'm into right now. That's kind of a thing that happens in real life to some people who are like somebody who's in a war zone. Yeah, that's me. So you get aroused because it's not that you're aroused, but it's that your system is shocked by trauma. Yeah. And to process it, some people don't know how to process it. And so

It basically manifests its way out of you through sometimes horniness.

Well, that's probably where I'm at because I've been reading, like I said, Clive Barker who wrote Hellraiser. I'm a huge fan. Yeah. And the books of blood is what that stuff's based on. Interesting. And I think, yeah, maybe I'm just super traumatized and there you go. There you go. Shout out also Doug Bradley who plays Pinhead. He's a fan of the show. Also, I'm very proud of you and I'm very happy for you. Thanks.

Well, yeah, because, you know, without me, like, who's gonna, who's gonna, you know, love you and take care of your kids and stuff and tell you how great you are. Who's gonna be your vice president without me? There you go. Yeah. Thanks, VP. Thank you. Yeah. Happy also.

And I think it was real sweet that you dropped off the magazines for them. I really do. That's one of my favorite bits you've done. But we'll see if they've pinned it to me if they've identified me. They're going to get a good tip now. They're going to know now. I know. I'm going to go back in for my checkup tomorrow. It'd be cool if they're like, oh, you had an appointment here, but we're canceling your appointment now. They know that I'm an asshole.

But I know that a lot's been going on in my world with cancer and the radiation, but more importantly, major news in your world we haven't even talked about yet. Which is the return of the jacket. Oh my God. So the jacket.

Wow, it goes back this far. Yeah, let's show the people this story first. I think this will summarize it for everybody first. It happened about seven years ago. I couldn't believe it. This jacket fit like a glove, man. And I just absolutely loved this jacket. You mean you lost it? Well, I think I did lose it, but I wasn't sure. Maybe if you loved it, you would have kept a better eye on it. Such an asshole concept.

It was the best jacket. It just bothers me that it's on. I know. You have to let it go. You've got to let it go, Tom. You really broke my heart. I just thought it was irreplaceable, you know? Jacket karma. You lose a jacket. Exactly. And you're going to gain an even better jacket. Just watch. You see it. It'll come to you. And I came to Paris. I saw this jacket. And oh, my God.

It's the best jacket in the world. People are asking about the jacket. Is it true that he's wearing the jacket today? It's jacket, man. Where can I get one? People are touching it and talking to me about it. So hot, so much jacket. It's the best jacket. I'm not going to lose this one.

There's gonna be a great resolution to your lost jacket. You'll see Wow the jacket the jacket story

the origin death. So the first one, the one that we flashed back to, I remember that you remember when we did Nikki Glazers show together, the comedy show, not safe. That's what that still was from. Because I wore it that day. And I just don't remember it after that. But when I lost it, I was heartbroken. And you were right. One jacket left and years it took years. Yeah.

years years. And then this jacket came into my life. And I wore it to the Mike Tyson fight. Yeah. So many BTBs. BTBs. Big time blacks. Oh, yeah. Gave me incredible compliments. Yeah. People were talking about it left and right. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was. People couldn't focus on the fight.

Here I am with Pac-Man Jones. Yeah. Oh, there we are. Oh, there we are. Page Six, I don't know. What? I guess. How did I ever realize I'd been photographed? Oh, yeah, I remember when they took that. Yeah. Anyway, I would forget that I had the jacket on. Yeah. And then I was reminded constantly people were like, that's a fresh jacket. It's a beautiful jacket. It's a beautiful jacket. People were asking me left and right.

So much fun. I introduced you to Pac-Man. Pac-Man Jones was there, and he was so vintage Pac-Man. He was the life of the pre-party during the fight. They were bringing out, like, clearly these boxes that were meant for somebody. He was like, hey, give me that. Just take, like, six of them.

and hand them out to us and people around us. They were like snack boxes that Netflix had provided. But they were going somewhere and he was like, nope. Yeah, hilarious. And then, and then, wait, wait, the best part is he opened one, didn't like the contents, and then handed it to me. Like, hey, you want this shit? Thanks, Pac-Man.

He was the life of the party. He really was. And I had so much fun. And then we talked about getting together. He also wants to come on tour and see a show. And I was so stoked. And then the next day, I get a text from someone. They're like, oh, it sucks about Pac-Man. I'm like, but it sucks about Pac-Man. And they were like, they sent me this.

There's the jacket and there's me and Pac-Man Yeah, and then I know it's fucking sucks. Well read the it's his former NFL player Adam Pac-Man Jones arrested on multiple charges after Mike Tyson Jake Paul fight police say and I was like no

And you're in the photo. I'm in the photo that they did it with. Yeah, he got arrested just after one. So it was only like a couple hours after we said buy to him. But can I tell you that I kind of understand him? Yeah. Getting so fired up because I think

You had to be in the room to feel the energy of the level of disappointment that we all felt from that fight. Because the women went up first, the two women fought. Taylor and Serana. Oh my God. And that was like palpable energy and people were fucking losing their minds. We were all like.

We were, I mean, and you know who fucking knew that was going to be a fight was Kendall. That's right. Kendall tool. We ran into her and she was like, get to your seat for this fight. She was like, cause this was like their rematch, maybe even the third fight. And she was like, this is going to be a good fight. And that fight was. That crushed that jet or I gashed open and we could see that.

And Taylor was fighting her. That was amazing. I'm totally into women's boxing now. And I want to go see UFC. You got to go live. I got to go see us live. Live is a total. It's just like when people go, I watch comedy specials and you're like, you never been to a live show. Like, it's a totally different thing. Well, and I have to admit that I was very sexist against women when I saw them fighting each other the first time. I remember even saying to Joe, like privately one day, I was like, I don't know. I don't like seeing women hitting each other and stuff. He's like, ghost Christina through warriors.

And I was like, oh, that's cool. Like that kind of, that makes sense or not regular chicks. No, and then I was like, I get it. Cause when a bitch fights, like you know how fucked up you had to be to be a female comic? Take that times a hundred and you're a female boxer. Holy shit. Now I got to get into this. I love it. I want to watch. So, so hold on. So the room is electric is women fight. Everybody's pumped and we're all waiting for

Tyson to come out, right? And the other guy, Jake, Paul, Jake Ryan, Paul Ryan comes out and we're just like, boo, fuck that guy. Everybody booed. It was insane. It was like a fucking stadium booing and then a stadium cheering. It was insane.

No one gives shit about that guy. Here's the thing. I mean, obviously a lot of people watch this live, so I'm not telling you a thing you don't know. But we're, at this point, they move us, we're in the fourth row and we have great, like just right there. And like that first round, you know, you're like, okay, it's first round kind of jitters, feeling each other out. Okay. You get into like the second and third round and you clearly see something.

Two things really that stand out to me. A, Tyson's footwork is just, it's odd, and it's off, right? But the other thing that's real clear is that he doesn't press once. So he would set something up, like a clean jab rock, and then there's a window for you to go in. And like, that's how he made a name for himself, right? Was like, bap, bap, and then the attack, right? You press, bap, bap, and like, unload on somebody.

And every time you're seeing a window for it, he's actually retreating, clearly. So he's like, boom. And then your opponent gets rocked. So this is like the window for you now to attack, like their defense is down for a brief moment. And he would retreat. And you're just watching this. And then by the fifth round, the sixth round, that's all you're seeing. You're just seeing retreating. And you're like, oh. And then it's clear.

To be fair to Jake, he also is doing the same thing. He's setting up something with a jab and then retreating. And then you're like, what we're watching is a friendly spar. We're watching like sparring, light sparring. We're not watching a fight. And then it's like,

It just takes you a moment to process it. You're like, oh, I can't believe that's what I'm watching right now. I got all excited for a fight, a brawl, and it's just clearly not that. And so, yeah, there was just this real cloud of disappointment in the end. I mean, the crowd started to boo pretty loud by the six that was in the eighth round.

I was upset. I wanted my hero to win. Yeah. Everybody was just like, what the fuck is this? I mean, it just felt like there was clearly an arrangement. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah. That's what it felt like. The energy was just, and the energy was set. It was such blue balls. Yeah. You know, we were all like, we're going to not so hard. So fucking hard, dude. And then everybody was like, no, oh, we're, this isn't a topless place. Yeah. We keep our bikinis on. That's bullshit. What are we doing here? I know.

I know. $6,000 in cash. I'm just going to watch you dance. I'm going to give a shit about your dancing as your tits. Thanks, Tom. That's a really perfect analogy. I don't know. I just pulled that out of there.

Here's the thing that I heard, though, that I wanted to tell you about Pac-Man, is that I get, I see this, I'm like, damn, so sad, I see the write-up. Then I went to Pac-Man's page, and if you go to Pac-Man's Instagram page, that one on the left there with all those people, that's from the night, put the audio.

Whoa, that's at the that's where at the place he got arrested You hear that lady? And there's Pacman Calling him an end bomb They're touching him

Right? Yeah, I can do it. Oh, Holland and the Anba. Anyway.

pretty crazy that like that's who is saying shit like that to him. And clearly that's considered assault too, you know, like touching somebody. Anyway, by the time you guys see this, I'm sure he will have given more info on it, but it's like sometimes you just see an article and you're like, Oh, what happened? Then you see something like this and it's a gross instigated it for sure.

Pretty gross. Again, the emotions were high. Everybody was... Yeah. There's a lot going on. Listen, I got a pitch real quick. Okay. And then I got to make a big announcement. I'm Paulie. How are we going? Go ahead.

You peed, I took my hair off. Or just getting comfortable. So, you know, as a lifelong goth and goth fan, I brought something to your attention because I'm always trying to get you to learn more about me. And Boise State has a volleyball player. A goth beach volleyball player, Nora Hade, a sophomore beach volleyball player at Boise State University has gone viral for her unconventional goth look featured in her team's roster. She looks rad. No, she is rad.

Now I will say as a goth, very strange to choose beach volleyball considering we don't like to get a ton of sunlight. And also like this kind of like festive sport.

It is a perky thing. I mean, I would go with something angry like lacrosse, horseback riding, solo sport, maybe tennis. A goth tennis player would be great. But I'm stoked. It's standing out with her pink dyed bangs, bold eyeliner, and septum ring. Hade has earned a large online following for bringing an alternative aesthetic to sport, to a sport often associated with traditional beach culture.

So good. Okay. It says, Hey, its unique appearance has sparked a humorous online debate over whether her style leans more toward goth or juggalo. Oh, I can see that. But she remains focused on combining her love for sports and artistic self expression. Very cool.

And you guys, one of the things you do. She's a gothlete. As a goth. Yeah. Because sometimes some of your friend, you'll meet somebody and be like, oh, she's goth. But you're like, she's this type of goth. Sure. She's like a new age goth or whatever. Yeah. So I'm a trad. I consider myself trad. Goth. We're the first wave. I stop there. I don't like Marilyn Manson. I know. I know. Sorry, guys. I stop at the 80s music. Is this sort of like a trans-exclusive radical feminist?

Are you the JK Rowling of Goths? So she would be, I guess, and I want to go with, like, not a cyber Goth, but definitely the newest generation of Goth, which I'm not even familiar with. But I like it. It does. It's a little jugglelet. I can see that. Yeah, but she seems very cool.

But I respect the hair, I respect the tradition. Here's the thing, you're always like into somebody who owns what they're into. You know what I mean? Owns what they are. I love her. She is what she is, man. Good for her. Speaking of people who are just who they are. Yeah. Fancy chef, apparently went to the script club. He's in the script club and that someone's asked for sure. Well, and her pussy too. The outline of it, sure. Yeah.

I mean, that's crazy. He's doing his thing, you know? Yeah, good for him. He's doing his thing, man. He's still wearing his chef's uniform under the fur coat, which is rad. Yeah. Always, always chefing. He went to, I was following. He went to Philly and he wore the mink with the chef shit underneath. And yeah, he was really out there. But I got an update. Yeah. I don't know if you know this. He's upset. He's upset. That's what Zolo told me. What? Why Zolo?

Uh, apparently we called him, or somebody called him autistic on the show. And that's probably, yeah, he wants to set the record straight that he's not. There you go. Well, I'm sorry. I'm probably sure I'm the source himself. Um, let it be known that the fanciest chef on the planet, not autistic. So I hope that clears the air. Um, yeah, I can't believe anybody. I'm sure it was me. I'm

You must have misspoke that day. I totally, I must just whatever. Here's a question. Is this guy autistic? All right. What's the lowest? What's the lowest? Oh, I think about 4,500 private. Good. What the hell is that?

Again, if I'm calling about like, you know, I put an ad in there for my car. Why would I have some? Why would I be doing that? I'm trying some car. That doesn't make any sense. What's going to make a sense to be sitting under the phone either, but I sure don't sound like that's what you're doing. I mean, if I got some, it's made of Spain.

That's pretty, that guy. That guy let it go for a second and he's like, the fuck are you doing? I do like the Southern, like, hey, man. I do like this game of farting on serious phone calls. I think that's a very fun game. Well, hold on. What?

Does anyone else see the irony here? Yeah. Yeah. And he go ahead and pointed out to my husband. Well, yeah, he was a little angry when you did that. I mean, to be fair, it wasn't in a little non-joking way, to be fair. Non-joking and all seriousness. What when? What are you talking about? That I would make business calls on the toilet. No, that's a toilet. That's totally different. This is a toilet. What do you do on the toilet?

Yeah, what do you do? No, you have no respect for humanity. I'm talking about this is a fun game. Uh-huh. He's laying on the bed. It's totally different. You're taking dumps, talking to people. No, I didn't poo with Brendan. I only made- You need to be with Uncle Ron making videos. This guy is more, I think, this is a more fun speed here, okay? I like it. Also, for some reason, if by only shakes,

And it only does that when I get, when I get fulfilled with gas. It only violently shakes my foot up with gas. It only violently shakes my foot up with gas. It only violently shakes my foot up with gas. It only violently shakes my foot up with gas.

You got everybody on that one. You guys like that one. I do that to my cousin, Jeanette, a lot. If I talk to her on the phone. You do that to everyone. No, not like that. Babe, you do. Like that? Why are you lying? I do that. Pinocchio, your nose is going to grow. No, no, no, I did. I was with you and you called down to the front desk. Remember when... Oh my God. And I just... You beefed. Yeah.

Yeah, but you beef and then you pull your legs up and you pump your legs and you spread your legs. You beef all the time. Why are you lying? That's not true. You're so disgusting. And then you're like, well, let's fuck. I want to fuck. And then just beef on me all the time. No.

Yeah. You beefed in the room last night. We were putting the boys down and it smelled so bad we kicked you out. That's true. That is a true story. You're the king of beefs. Hey, may I please segue before we get into something else? Yeah, sure. Please. Can I? I'm very excited to announce this. It's a beautiful lead in here. Thank you. Let's see here. Chips in a bowl. I want cats eating kibble. Oh, wow. This is a big fucking thing.

It's such a good sound. This is for a big announcement. This is a big announcement, kids. Mommies, the stage is set. Go ahead. Jeans, everybody, pull your jeans up over your eyes as high and tight as they can go. At long last, at long last, you know, last summer I came out as Polly. And bye. And bye.

And I came out with the perfect red. This was my first lipstick. And I believe this to be the most perfect shade of red, the perfect consistency, everything. Because I've been wearing red since I was 13 years old. And I researched it and I made it in Italy. And it's been such a success. And I think everybody that's bought the perfect red that now

This is a blue-based red. I have created an orange-based red called the atomic red, and this one is orange-based, and it's lighter. Same formula, different color, and I've also added two more colors, Madison, which is a mauve. This one you can wear

You know, picking up the kids, going to the grocery store, it just kind of elevates your everyday look. And then, if you want to get spooky and you really want to show motherfuckers what's up, Berlin. This is a dark burgundy, and it's only for the real goths out there. It's real geez, maybe the cholo goths, whatever. This is if you really want to- How do you send the volleyball player one?

I would love to send the volleyball player all four. You can buy the perfect four by the collection together. And I also have a bunch of new merch in my store. By the way, I have a brand new website, too. ChristinaP.com. No more ChristinaP online.com, which is so awful. ChristinaP.com, you can find all my new merch, new designs. I've actually drawn a lot of the doodles that are on these shirts myself. So you have to buy it. You have to check it out.

It's very cool stuff. I will say this, Kristinza, in all the years that we've had items, shirts, hats, mugs, whatever, back tote bags, you name it. And you brought the idea of your lipstick and doing it. I was like, you know,

Fucking broad. Down broad. Yeah. And you know that it's the best-selling thing that we've ever had in the store, in any store, and it's all because you thought, yeah. Thank you guys. Thank you. And it's all because of the mommies out there. It is because of the mommies, but I'm saying it's because you believed in this going down this path. Well, I'll tell you why I believe in it because I have a passion for it. That's true. Like I am fanatic about lipstick. You guys know me. I wear my red every single time we film the show. Yeah.

I'm passionate about lipstick and I believe in it. And that's why I spent a ton of money doing this. This is not a bullshit, cheapy thing. No, I know. This is made in Italy. It's imported. It's the best quality lipstick. You do a great job. A lot of companies, even the brands you think are should be fancy expensive. They're not fancy and nice. Yeah, they're not beautiful. They use cheap shit and they're not beautiful and nice. This is the real joke.

The way you feel about that is how I feel about the sex dolls that I've been working on. It's my passion. It's what I believe in. And they're going to be in the store real soon. And you guys can be doing the same stuff I've been doing. Oh, look at that. It's so beautiful. And the new website.

has pretty stuff on there, too. I'm so pumped. And also on my TikTok, if you go to Christina P, you can now buy this on my shop. I've got a TikTok shop and I'll be on there all the time just talking about lipstick. You did it, Gene. I'm obsessed with lipstick. I just love it. Do you? I want you to try it out. Will you wear this? Can I get you to try one? Because your lips are very pretty. Which color would you be? I think you're a Berlin, because you're kind of saucy.

Okay, so you've got like a reddish pink. Don't sneeze during the show. You've got to do that. Leave the room undertone. So I would go with this to dim that. Yeah, we'll try that. You remember this, right? You definitely remember this. You drink red wine. I love him. I love this guy too. Tony's really greasy. Yeah. And I love pepperoni. Yeah. I like pizza, but I love pepperoni. Yeah. I feel this too. It's the best. I chewed up really well. Yeah.

I get to juices and grease in my mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Both sides of my cheeks. Yeah. Yep. And then then I've set my red wine with crushed ice. So good. Oh, switch it. Way around my mouth. Yeah. I feel the grease come out of my cheeks. He literally looks like a stick of pepper. Yeah. Well, guess what? Get the greases out of here.

But he, can I tell you something though? This is a man of the people. He finally gets what we like. Well, here's the thing. I love this guy because it's like your lipstick thing. He is not only looks like he's covered in it, but this guy is completely authentic. Yeah. He's unpretentious. Yeah. And he's just genuinely sharing what makes him happy, right? Guess what? More. More. Oh, good. Drinking ice in the wine.

I love to eat hot dogs. But the famous hot dog for me to eat at home or chucks on the avenue is burnt hot dogs. And burnt hot dogs are delicious. When I put them on a bun with mustard and set my wand. That's what's up, bro. So we're going to take the famous money bread of New Orleans with some French yellow mustard. No chili. We're going to take a bite of this beautiful burnt hot dog. Fuck yeah, dog.

Delicious. When I see you in battle, we crushed ice in the wine. Hell yeah. Did I bet that tastes so good? Yeah. Delicious.

I love it. I'll tell you what, can I tell you the truth? Yeah. Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, talk to me. I know you like fancy meals, and we go to these sometimes very fancy places, and there's multiple courses, and I know I'm supposed to enjoy it. Sometimes, most of the time, I'd rather just be eating a burnt hot dog. Yeah, I hear you on that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I go. I like that too, though. I mean, I think my favorite thing to eat in this world is a smash burger.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Like that NADC burger? Yeah, yeah. Good. I mean, that's my favorite burger. Do you know what my favorite is? And I even ordered it from LA, frozen in a box. Cupids, hot dogs? Yeah. Cupids in the valley.

I think I told you today. I love it. I think I discovered it. Hold on. Can I tell you what I like? The chili dog. You know you're Cupids. Remember Cupids? The chili with mustard and onion. Did you do it that way too?

Yeah, I grew up eating those after school. I think I've discovered that I just can't have a hot dog anymore. No, not at your age. Five times now over, let's say, five months where a random hot dog finds its way into your life. And I'm like, yeah, I'll have a hot dog. I get minimum 24 hours of ingestion from a hot dog. Well, it's because you look like a hot dog right now.

I'm kind of pink. You know, I got that. You know why? There's so much sodium. It's too much sodium. If they can make a, do they make low sodium dogs? I'm sure they do. Guess what? I'm not going to try it. I'm not going to do it. It's just, I've had, it's proven now. You're just going to give up like that? Done with hot dogs. So I'm at the Laker game last week. And I got great seats, amazing seats, sitting courtside.

That's a great game. And I see Spade and Rock, Chris Rock, Davis Spade, sitting like over here. So I go say hi to them. And then at halftime, we sit together in this lounge. It's me, Jimmy Miller, Chris Rock, Davis Spade.

And then we're hanging out, and then Sebastian comes over. And he's like, oh, hey, what's up? And he turns to me, and he goes, hey, Sebastian. And I go, hey. I'm like, what? And it's loud. There's noise and music or whatever. And then he sits like, I don't know, six, seven feet away over there. And he's talking to the spade. And we're all just kind of like, you have to kind of project to say something. Oh, this is good.

blah, blah, blah. And so I say something to him. And he's like, what's that? And I try to say it again. And he's like, I can't hear you. So he comes over and like, I'm talking to him. And I just see him. He's just like looking at me. And then he goes, oh my God.

He goes, I didn't know it was you, what the fuck? And I go, yeah, well, I think I'm talking to you like five minutes. And he's like, bro, I saw you on the Instagram with Shay face. And I go, I guess this is his face now. But then I had, you know, five days growth of this. He had no idea who I was. No, you look like a totally different bro. I'm telling you. It is a good time to be gay.

This is the time. If you wanna go suck dicks randomly, do it now. No one will be like, no, I'd be like, that wasn't me. Get that pretty little mouth. What was it? People can see your pretty mouth now. Okay. Now, I have something fun to show you. Uh oh. Alright. Degrees to juices. Is this guy? Down my throat. Horrible. Uh oh. They're hilarious. Ah shit, this is why I don't fucking do this. Fuck!

That's horrible. That's my worst nightmare so crazy to think to smell the court the fuck dude That's insane. Hopefully That's the last time she does that You didn't like that one. No, that's literally my nightmare. Let her laugh You like that you bid why are you messing with like the crock?

Let's see, did he lose a digit? No. He didn't get fucked up enough. It's tempting to desensitize the gator so he could complete the stunt. Usually done by tapping the gator lightly on the head until it becomes used to feeling inserted. He is perfectly okay. Yeah. I thought he may have lost a digit. I don't think he screamed enough, I want to say. Well, I could have lost a digit.

No, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could that could have happened quick. Yeah. Yeah, the cover real well you got lucky with was the release. Yeah, it's usually they just hold on. Yeah. Yeah, I was a crock. Don't put your crock in your hand in a crock's mouth. Oh, yeah, this is pretty cool. All right, you get out of here. I'll hold the door open for you. Let me see that hand is gonna go. Oh,

He's mad. The fuck! Is that a chick? The face is covered. I feel like that's a chick movement. She broke every... Finger bump. It really wasn't her fault though. No. She's pulling out like she didn't know. But I think that was a fun one. I don't think so. No one's laughing. Okay.

Oh shit. Recovery was ready. Yeah, it was good recovery. It happens. Those are big keels.

You just don't wanna twist your ankles. I know, but there's no public falling. Everybody has the thing to look like they're okay. Unless it's devastating pain, you gotta go like, okay. You gotta spin out of it. Yeah, I've fallen off a stage before in Dallas. You fell off? Yeah, getting off. It was some club and one, two, I lost my footing and I ate shit. The audience was like, yeah, then I just paused.

And then happened to Ralphie Mae. Oh yeah, it happened to Ralphie Mae once. And he claimed later that it was a bit like he was doing it for the laugh. And there was another guy, this other comic bill, something. And when he was like 600 pounds, he fell and the audience thought it was a bit and they were like laughing because he was so big and it was not a bit.

Yeah, that's good. You won't do that. That size it can be real. Good. Yep. These are always good. You good pal? Oh, no, no, he's going to drop this one. That was fun.

I don't know. I mean, I feel like, oh, Josh likes it. How come they don't prepare for that? They should. I feel like that should be part of the job that they prepare for that. Yeah, we don't know the aftermath, but we do know that the tree had become overgrown and the homeowner did not want to pay professionals to do that because he thought it was too expensive. Oh, cool. Well, then that's hilarious. It's kind of funny. It's being cheap. It's pretty good.

Wow. Okay. So, oh, these were part of the package I wanted to put together for you because I know that you love this. Okay. And I also wanted to say congratulations on finishing radiations. Thanks, pal. So I had these flagged for you. Flagged? Yeah, please look at the screen. Okay, let's look at the Denver.

I think he's just watching television, which is cool. Yeah, he is, but he just, you know, he, he recorded this and then he uploaded it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best part. He didn't think twice about uploading it. Oh, little licky lick.

Cool. Isn't that nice? It's very nice. He's just breathing, laying back. Just breathing. There you go. Yeah. Oh, here we are. He's got a shirt off this time also. TV in the background.

I wanna say Russian or something. It's like some Slavic kind of shit going on. He's got a big potato nose, so he's been drinking. And that's a real old world kind of bullshit on the wall there. Yep, yep, yep. Whatever the fuck that is. Oh, oh.

Thought I would bring it home with that for you. Thank you. Oh, he's at the laundromat. Yeah, that's a good place to do the shit like that. Yeah, because I just have a girl be like, I know where that guy is. Yeah, go there right now. That's what he's hoping for, right? Yeah, pretty cool. That was so nice. Thank you. There you go. Congratulations. You're all done. They can make out with these dudes. Yeah. That's so rad. Yeah. Finally, it's time. Look at that.

Side by side, guys. Get your prints right now. Right? ChristinaP.com, YMA Studios. What the fuck are you guys laughing for? Dude, it's perfect. Get spot on. That's way better than I thought. Yeah! You guys have been looking at this mug for 20 years. Whatever, guys. I think I don't know that face. Oops. I got you vagina. You want a bag? Too bad. It's mine. Ew. Wait, wait. How did that make you feel? What did you think?

I mean, it was cool. I like that. It's a good way to... Well, it's... You realize that all things like this are just a version that just... Throw on the dice. Roll on the dice, always. Well, I will say I admire the attempt at humor. Somebody is like, oh, he's cute, and he's... Someone's gonna do it. Someone's gonna do it, for sure. Of course. Today, we're gonna be making piss popsicles, otherwise known as piscicles. So what you're gonna wanna do is pour this in here. Put that in there, yeah.

Put it in there until it fills up. Pour some of my floor right now, but who cares? Put it in there. This is so dark. All right. Then after that, you're going to want to bottle this up and then put it in the freezer for a couple of hours. All right. Oh, the coal is ready. Oh, yeah. There you go.

The place looks nice. Oh, his nails are so long too. The fridge door there. Ooh, all of it. So this is a new guy. I mean, we used to have piss spots and now this guy is teaching us. No, I know. This guy's stuff has come up on my feet too. It's really... Oof. Is that the way to show it? That you lost weight? Guys, send me two pounds down. Carnivore diet. Dot, he goes down. Dot, dot, carnivore diet. He's on. He's just letting you know. But why show it this way?

He's starting his chest, baby, lookin' good. You don't think he looks good? I think he looks good. The stare too, the stare is really jarring. And I think- It's meant to penetrate forever. Yeah, he's fuckin' you, he's eye-fucking you. He's also in his car, or his truck. Yeah, or a bus. Is that a bus? He's smiling, he's just feelin' it. I don't know, dude. That's, yeah. Thank you for that, that was- You're welcome.

I usually pull these for you. The Indian version. Oh, careful. Oh, he's toying with us. A little smirk there. He almost wants to give you an oopsie. Oopsie. There's my ding dong. Oops. I didn't know the camera went down that far.

My bad I'm gonna be teaching you how to make a piss hot pocket Basically what you're gonna want to do is open up like the top part of the hot pocket and just kind of scoop out all of the oh The stuff in there you can fill it with piss is that we're gonna go? Oh Fuck Christina It's hold it open

and fill it with paste. But that's a lighter color paste. Just pour it in here slowly. Pour it in there slowly. There's a flaw in the system. It was that easy. There you go. Now you got a delicious juicy piss pocket. Make sure you show your friends and family this.

This guy is, you know what's funny is that this guy is severely mentally ill. Like he's a hoarder and a total, but he actually has a very funny sense of humor. But a lot of times the sense of humor goes with this level of mental illness, you know, because it's all like, but he's like, make sure you share this with friends and family. He knows what he's saying. Yeah, he's, he's, he's winking at us. It's gonna be the day when we got back to you.

See now, but you know what you gotta do. You recognize it? I don't believe in anyone to describe to me. Yeah. It's oasis. It's good, right? It's really good. I hope she opens for them. I heard she's going to open for them. It's cool that I had to go through prosthetics to get this old look down, but...

It's neat She's just I want to hear every other oasis song to from her yeah Are you gonna go see them? Of course I am if they come to America didn't they announce us dates or no? Did they know it's it? I don't know I've kind of been in a bubble. I would love to see them. No bright and cod if They said they're going to announce USA. All right, hold on

The Rose Bowl sold out fucking cuts. Yeah, sorry guys. I've been under wait. Where's Rose Bowl? I don't see it in the middle of September. Oh, yeah, fucking hell. All right. You're listening to this. Look at that. Look at how quickly that

Wait, is that the only America they're doing L.A. Chicago East Rutherford East? That's so random. Why East Rutherford for preferred New Jersey and then L.A. Stadium in Chicago. Go because they can get the East Coast. They're getting East and West. They're doing New York L.A. That's it. Fuck. I fucking failed. They're doing Chicago. Yeah, Toronto. This is insane. Agent jeans. Give me tickets.

Okay, here we go. Incredible.

This pubic hair ring turned out to be one of my favorites. I had an amazing client that touched me a ring core blank that she wanted used along with tufts of pubic hair. I did have to cut the hairs a little bit shorter so that way I could get everything super precise because the important thing was that the gold borders remained visible and not have any hairs over them. So it was quite a lengthy process doing them each individually. Did you know... Can I just move on?

Wait, you don't think you'd do this for me? No. You don't love me and I? I'm a bad pussycat. You're a sad pussycat. But I'm awake. You're asleep. Let's go play pussycat. I'm gon' rap pussycat. Sit on your lap pussycat. Sing this song. All day long. Can't go wrong pussycat. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Now? Now? It's crazy whenever I see videos like this, I always think of the person who's like, that's Jeff. I know. I see him at Chipotle all the time. Yep, but somebody's. That's somebody. That's somebody's like Ford sales rep. I know. I'm like, I bought a truck from that guy. I know. He's like, just putting it out there. Okay. God, don't put it out there. Congrats on the new job, Michael.

He's great. He's so right. He's just so precise. He doesn't waste any words. Economy of words is really something you have to learn. Well, I think I'm pretty good for today. Yeah, I feel sick. That left me feeling way different than when we started, which is really exciting. Thanks again for all the encouragement that I received for having shaped my face. I will do it again. Try to do it again pretty soon because I know how much people enjoyed it.

Don't forget my lipsticks, the perfect for now in my store, ChristinaP.com. Check it out. Try it out. Check it out. Try it out. Here's my colors. Got it. Boop, boop, boop, boop. And don't forget to buy your original Christina P drawing of Tom without a beard. Unfucking believable. All right. Love you guys. Thanks for watching. I'm gonna yawn on the way out. I mean, yeah, I'm tired. Love you guys. Love you too. Bye. Stay, stay up, stay blessed.

Don't stop. Don't stop, Christine. It was one of those loads, Christine, that don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine, don't stop. Christine,

Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. And it was endless. It was fucking endless, though, when I took my dick as you went. Thanks for stopping the ride. Thanks for stopping the ride. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine.

Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. Don't stop, Christine. And it was endless. It was fucking endless. But when I took my cigars, you went, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,