Throw Out the Checklist: Starting the Year on YOUR Terms (Outweigh)

I won't let my body out late I'll weigh everything that I made I won't spend my life trying to change

I'm learning to love who I am. I am strong, I feel free. I know every part of me is beautiful. And I will always, always, if you feel it, put your hands in the air. Show some love to the mirror while you're there. Let's take it one day at the top, because you can die, always.

Happy Saturday Outway. It's Lillian here. And as we step into this new year, I want to talk about something that might surprise you or maybe it won't surprise you. And it's that New Year's resolutions don't work, at least not the way we've all been taught to do them. And so if you're tired of starting every January, feeling like you're racing against time or desperate to, you know, air quotes fix your body or your life or your habits, I'm here to offer a different way forward.

one that is definitely kinder and more sustainable and actually align with what you really want. And so right now you're probably being bombarded by messages telling you what you should be doing to make 2025 amazing, like a new meal thing, a new workout regimen, some 30 day challenge to, you know, jumpstart your health or your career. And it's everywhere. And it's tempting to dive on in thinking that maybe just maybe this time it'll be different.

But let's get real, like how many times have you done this same dance? Like how many January's have begun with strict rules and grand promises and a surge of motivation only to fizzle out by February, really leaving you feeling more defeated than when you started?

And I see it year after year, especially with women, and I've lived it myself. Like, we come out of the holidays exhausted, we've bent over backwards, trying to make everything perfect, you know, the gatherings and the gifts and the meals, and the stress piles up. I call it the holiday hangover. When you hit January, already burned out, not energized. Instead of feeling renewed, you feel drained.

And because it's, you know, new year new you season, we feel compelled to set new goals and sign up for another program and force ourselves into a mold that we never really fit in. But let's ask the big question. Like, since when is adding more to an already overwhelmed life, a good strategy? And when does piling on more tasks fix burnout?

Well it doesn't and we know it doesn't and yet we keep doing it year after year because we think that that's what we're supposed to do and we think achieving more and doing more and striving more will fix something inside us.

But what if it just makes it worse? And so today I'm, I'm suggesting you do something radical for at least a week, maybe more. Don't buy into anyone's new program. Like step away from quick fixes and the magical promises and instead give yourself what you truly need right now, which is rest and reflection and a chance to catch your breath and figure out what you honestly want. Not what the internet says that you should want.

And so a few years ago, I found myself in this exact position and I'd spent way too many New Year's writing out goals and resolutions that revolved around, you know, changing my body, you're expanding my business or hitting certain milestones. And so every year I told myself, like, this would be the year I'd finally become

that perfect more accomplished version of me, but it never led to lasting fulfillment. Instead, it brought stress and self-judgment and this sinking feeling that no matter what I accomplished, it wasn't enough. And then one year, I decided to try something different. I sat down with a piece of paper

And I wrote at the top my best year yet, okay? My best year yet, but I started staring at those words and I realized that the word best implied more striving and measuring because more of the old same pattern, I'd measure my best by external achievements or, you know, pounds loss or money earned or projects completed. And I knew where that road led, right? To just more stress and shame and never feeling good enough. And so I scratched out the word best

And I wrote the word happiest, like my happiest year yet. And so just switching that one word opened up a door in my mind. And suddenly I wasn't thinking about what I needed to do to impress anyone, not even myself. I was thinking about what would make me truly happy, not what should make me happier, what others say is success, but what actually brings me joy and peace and ease.

And so happiness, I realized, is deeply personal. Like it is not a metric on a scale or in a bank account. It is an experience and a feeling and a state of being. And when I focus on my own happiness, I'm forced to turn inward and to ask myself what matters to me at a soul level. Instead of comparing myself to others or chasing arbitrary milestones, I become my own compass.

And I measure my life by how I feel rather than what I produce. And so this shift changed everything. And so suddenly the noise and the chatter of resolutions faded. And I no longer needed to force myself into another 30 day challenge that would leave me feeling deprived and rebellious at the end.

You know, no more stepping on the scale daily to see if I was air quotes on track and no more starting the year already feeling behind. And so when I chose my happiest year yet, it meant asking me things like what brings me joy and what relationships lift me up and what activities calm my anxious mind and how can I move my body in ways that feel nourishing and not punishing.

And it meant focusing on reducing stress and not adding more tasks. And it meant consciously stepping off that hamster wheel of self-improvement that really never seemed to go anywhere good. And so think about it, if every year you vow to get in shape by doing something extreme, you might lose weight for a month,

But what happens after that? Like the way it usually comes back because you never addressed why you turned to food in the first place and you never heal your relationship with your body or eased the mental anguish fueling your patterns. And so by February or March, you're overwhelmed and again, feeling like you failed. And this cycle repeats year after year, eroding your confidence in your trust in yourself if you don't flip the switch and change the pattern.

And so, what if this year, instead of trying to become the air quotes best version of yourself, you try to become the happiest version of yourself? Like, what if health and fitness become supportive elements of your happiness rather than tasks to earn your own worthiness?

And when happiness guides you, your approach to food and movement and self-care, it naturally just shifts. And it's not about forcing yourself to eat salads and hate every bite. It's about discovering that certain foods make you feel light and energized and that that feels good. And it's not about punishing yourself with grueling workouts, but it's about finding movement that brings a smile to your face, like maybe dancing or a walkout in nature.

And so happiness also encourages you to set boundaries. Like if your calendar is jam-packed and leaving you frazzled, happiness will tell you to say no to extra obligations.

And if you're staying up late, doom scrolling social media and comparing your body to filtered strangers on the internet, happiness will whisper that it's time to unplug and protect your peace of mind. And so this doesn't mean that you'll never set goals again. Like goals can still be a part of your life, but let them come from a place of self love and excitement.

not fear or pressure. And instead of making a list of what you must accomplish this year, just ask, like, what would make me happier? And maybe that means scheduling a weekly tea date with a close friend, or investing in therapy or coaching to address old emotional wounds, or maybe it means simplifying your meal planning so cooking feels like an act of care rather than a chore that you hate, right?

This approach allows you to break free from the tyranny of external measures, like no more letting the scale dictate your mood or letting your gene size determine your value as a human being. When you aim for happiness, you tap into that internal compass that knows what truly matters. And you start to see what truly matters and that really what matters isn't hitting a certain number, but feeling at home in your own life and feeling at home in your body.

And so as this year unfolds, you might find that by prioritizing happiness, you actually show up better in all areas. Like, you become kinder to yourself when you slip up and more resilient when challenges arise and more confident in making choices that align with your values. This kind of lasting, genuine transformation beats any short-lived resolution that falls apart once life really sets in.

Now, I know this might feel scary to some of you, but we're so used to setting concrete measurable goals, and we like ticking boxes and saying that we achieve something. But happiness is intangible, and you can't measure it in pounds or dollars.

But you can feel it, right? And you and it's so much more powerful that way. When you let happiness guide you, you start building a life that feels good now, not just some distant day when you achieve, you know, air quotes, perfect health or ideal success. Okay. And here's another secret. When you nurture your happiness, you create an environment inside yourself that makes better choices.

that just feels natural, like making better choices becomes this natural state. And that's where the real magic happens when you're not stressing about perfection or your body and you and your brain and your body can just relax, right? And you become open to small positive changes that stick because they're rooted in self-care, not in self-punishment.

And so if you're worried that focusing on happiness means slacking off or ignoring your health, let me reassure you nothing could be farther from the truth. True happiness includes caring for your body and mind and soul. But you do it because it feels right, not because you feel forced. And you can discover that nourishing foods can be a gift, not a prison sentence.

and that moving your body can be fun and liberating, not a burden. And that taking a break isn't laziness, it's replenishing your well so that you can keep giving to yourself and to others. And so as we stand looking into the start of this new year, I really just invite you to be brave enough to choose happiness over hollow resolutions, like let go of the shoulds and the external pressures and trust that by taking care of your inner world, like your emotions and your boundaries and your peace,

you're gonna set the stage for everything else to thrive. And this is how you create a year that's not just different by a few inches on the scale, but radically different in how you feel living it every single day.

And so if you catch yourself doubting or feeling like you're missing out by not joining the latest 30 day challenge, remember, you've done that before and you know how that story ends and trying something new might feel uncomfortable. But that discomfort is a sign that you're breaking old patterns that never served you well anyways. Okay. And so if as you really like just try on this new perspective,

Don't be surprised if you find yourself naturally making healthier choices and enjoying your meals more and feeling genuine contentment in ways that no diet ever gave you because when happiness leads, everything else falls into place without force. Okay.

So that is it for today, ladies. I truly hope you got something valuable out of today's episode. And even if it's just a reminder that you don't have to go down the same dead end New Year's resolution roads as the years passed, well, well, that in itself would make me very happy.

If you want to learn more about how I teach my clients to turn off the part of their brain that's obsessed with food or obsessed with their weight and stop having their brain work against them, then head on over to stresslesseating.com and sign up to watch the Stressless Eating Sneak Preview where I've literally peeled back the curtain and walked you through the exact strategy I teach my clients

to go heal themselves from the all or nothing good bad on off rollercoaster for good but without restricting themselves and punching their bodies and definitely without spending years in therapy or opening up an emotional can of worms just to do it okay so it's there over for you to access on stresslesseating.com so that is it for today out way talk to you next week bye

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