Therapy and Gaslighting Yourself

Therapy is often misunderstood as a way to brush aside our problems by simply thinking positively. However, the real challenge lies in recognizing that many negative beliefs we hold about ourselves can be forms of gaslighting. Instead of feeling inadequate due to past failures, therapy can help us address these perceptions and work towards genuine change. It’s not just about accepting our flaws; it’s about recognizing our potential for growth and achievement. We need to move beyond believing that we are ‘bad at life’ and strive to develop ourselves through actionable steps. True healing comes when we confront our struggles and work to replace damaging narratives with empowering ones, allowing us to build a life we can be proud of. So, even if you feel stuck now, remember that your journey can lead to a more fulfilling sense of self-worth and success.

Children are naturally confident and believe in themselves. They don't feel like failures even when they fall while learning to walk. If someone believes they are broken, it's often because of what they've been taught, particularly from parents who project their unhappiness onto their children. This pressure leads to self-doubt and a distorted view of success and failure. Real gaslighting occurs when individuals are taught to equate their worth with achievements, often ignoring their successes. Achievements should not determine self-worth; everyone has their strengths, and comparisons can undermine personal growth. It’s crucial to realize that feeling inferior stems from messages received during upbringing rather than true capabilities. Supportive environments foster self-belief, whereas critical expectations can damage self-esteem.

Musicians often have talented children, which highlights the influence of upbringing rather than just genetics. A child's development can be impacted by their parents' beliefs and behaviors. Therapy helps to undo the harmful messages received from parents, enabling individuals to recognize their own worth and the value of effort. Self-esteem is largely shaped by the esteem others provide us, not something found on our own. Thus, understanding these influences and how our environment affects our perceptions can lead to healthier attitudes and better outcomes in life, relationships, and personal growth.

Understanding emotions is crucial for recognizing self-esteem and mental health. Many people may believe they lack emotions, but in reality, they might not be aware of them due to being detached from their feelings. This emotional detachment can cloud judgment and hinder clear thinking. By realizing that emotions affect our thoughts and behaviors, one can better navigate their feelings and identify whether they are being manipulated or gaslit. The yogic concepts of the manas (emotional mind), buddhi (intellect), and ahamgar (ego) help in discerning the genuine thoughts from false beliefs. To ensure a healthy mindset, it’s essential to acknowledge emotions and how they influence our perceptions and decisions. Recognizing that emotional circuits are always active can lead to greater self-awareness and clarity in one's thoughts, enabling better responses to situations rather than denial or blame.

Acknowledging your emotions is crucial for clear thinking. When you recognize how feelings like anger or sadness influence your thoughts, it helps in managing those emotions. By understanding your emotional state, you can avoid seeing things too negatively. Additionally, being aware of your ego’s influence, such as jealousy or comparisons with others, can lead to better self-insight. This awareness prevents self-deception and allows you to view situations more realistically, guiding you towards improved decision-making. In essence, recognizing emotions and ego is key to approaching thoughts and feelings more clearly, helping you to handle situations more effectively.

Understanding how our emotions and ego shape our thoughts is crucial for personal growth. Emotions can distort our perceptions, making us feel inferior or superior to others, which impacts our decisions and self-image. By recognizing these mental distortions, we can work towards more realistic thinking. Therapy can help identify these weaknesses without simply trying to reassure us. Instead of focusing only on positive outcomes, it encourages an honest exploration of how feelings and ego affect our thought processes and behaviors. This awareness allows us to improve our decision-making and cultivate a healthier self-image, leading to a more balanced perspective on ourselves and others.

It's important to recognize how our ego and negative thoughts can trap us into feeling like losers when we don’t have certain experiences, like dating. We often believe that our past failures define our future, but we have the choice to learn and grow. Therapy is not about deceiving ourselves; it’s about uncovering the truth and understanding our flaws so we can work on them. We need to let go of limiting beliefs and the gaslighting that comes from our own minds, which keeps us stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. By seeking help and support, we can replace these harmful thoughts with a more compassionate view of ourselves and move forward in a healthier way. Remember, your current situation doesn’t have to dictate your future. With effort and guidance, you can break free from these patterns and develop healthier relationships with yourself and others.