The One Where Ash and Taryne Get Tattoos

What's up guys, Ashley here. With October being officially over comes the end of our October series. And of course, Tern and I are always a little bit sad because we just love those scary stories. But guess what? If you're subscribed to our Supercast account, the scary stories don't end here. They continue all year long. And not old were to use scary stories, brand new ones that you guys send in.

But there's so much more that comes with that as well. You get solo episodes, you can ask Taren and I questions specifically and we'll answer them like actual AMAs. Add free listening and so much more and it's only $5 a month. It's totally worth the money and you get more of Taren and I. So check out our supercast and if you have a scary story that you want read on it, send it in and title it super scary so we know to read it on supercast. Hello.

Not the lead. I can't, I can't help it. I'm still, I got sick two weeks ago and I still can't shake this voice. Actually, it's not about you right now. I'm sorry. It's not about you. I know. I can't. Guys, today is crazy. Today we're making history.

I can't with this old man we use that's going on in my throat right now. No, me as a bigger fan of ourselves than we are. But today we're basically doing something that I bullied Ashley into doing. She did. I really did. I really did. She kept texting me about it and I wouldn't respond and then I like slow it down. No, and then I literally basically was like, hey, you have four hours to respond or I'll kill you.

But we are going to do something crazy while recording. We're going to take our best friendship up to the next level. No, literally we're basically married. What if there was a reverend here and we just got married? Like all you people who thought we were lesbians. You're right. Correct. You win. And the hint of what we're doing live is going to be a sound. So get your ear holes ready and see if you can guess what we're doing by this sound.

Everyone's like brushing your teeth.

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We are straight up getting what? We're getting podcast matching bestie tattoos. The full name. Podcast matching bestie tattoos. No, I am so stinking excited. We have Amanda here. I'm going to have her kind of like intro herself, but I've, I'm obsessed with her, obsessed with her. She's done a few of my tattoos and is going to do a few more in a couple of days.

And so she said she was in town, or I think it was our last, the last tattoo I got with you. We were just kind of like, bantering about the podcast and different things. And I mentioned that I've been wanting to do this and she was like, send me a date. And I was like, oh my God, this is happening. So we've talked about getting friend tattoos. Forever. I mean, we've been for like 10, 10 years. No, literally forever you was. It was me. I've been slowing down. You was.

I've been dragging my feet. I know. So tell us, tell us about yourself. Tell us how long have you been doing this, how you got into tattoos, like give us the whole spiel. Okay, cool. So I... Convince me that you're really good.

It's my selling point. Okay. Um, so basically I can tattoo really anything. So I started off, I'm going to make a pair of medical tattooing then into fine line, like fine line because it's really hard to nail. Yeah. So I've been doing it since 2019. Wow. And I'm really enjoying it because it's super creative and I definitely need that. Yeah. Um, but yeah. And it's cool. Cause I get to do really awesome pieces, like her micro realism car. That's her grandpa's car. Yeah. Like as a story behind it. It's such a sick tattoo.

Yeah, it's my favorite. So I mean, I'm just along for the journey and so excited and it's been a blast. Well, I love that. Thanks for having me. Did Taryn tell you about my first tattoo experience? No.

Also, for the listeners, tell us where they can follow you and where they can see all of your work. Yeah, so we're always found out you are youthful, so just spelled out Y-O-U-A-R-E, youthful. Love it. .com, Instagram, Facebook, wherever, has all of our content. Fun. Any questions or websites? Okay, perfect. Also, the guy she's beautiful and looks like Lana Del Rey. I'm serious, especially when you look at her and smile, I'm like, Lana? Lana? Now you're making me blush. No.

It's true. Thank you. Yeah. So my first tattoo I ever got, Taryn took me to and her and a bunch of her friends were going. It was Friday the 13th. I got a Harry Potter symbol on my butt cheek. And Ashley was like,

I went a little cross. It was my first set to ever, and I was like, the cross is a symbol that means a lot to me, so I felt safe doing that. So I go in there, and obviously, I'm new, so I don't know this, but it's Friday the 13th. So the options are like these big, gaudy, gothic-looking crosses, and I was like, that's not what I signed up for.

Also, when Ash is in high anxiety mode, she shuts down. And when I'm with her, that's when I turn into a bulldozer. My mama bear comes out and I'm like, don't you touch her? Don't you talk to her? What do you need, baby? You tell me. I'll do it. Yeah. So they take her back and the guys like, no, you can't go back with her. It's one at a time. And I was like, I'm going to tell you this right now. I will get back there.

like if I have to go kicking and screaming, he's like, okay, fine. So I go back and the guy's telling Ashley he can only do, like he has this big cross on her. And I see her eyeballs just like wide and she's just kind of like nodding, but she's not saying. She's also this like huge man. She mungus. And I'm just like, I don't know. Yeah. Fully, like fully covered into abs. If every viewer would have been like, hi. Lana. Lana. Lana.

So I look at this man and I'm like, look, she doesn't want that. Like she wants just like a small like draw it with a pencil. And so me and this guy are like arguing Ash is sitting there like about ready to like just turtle. Like she's like, I can't be here. I wouldn't have said anything. I would have just, can I go to the excuse me? I have to go to the bathroom and I would have never come back. Yeah, yeah. It would have been my out.

Yeah, I'm finding a turnaround. I'm like, what? What a bit halfway home. So she got her little, he literally just drew like the little cross and she was like, so happy. But it was so funny. But yeah, I got you. Yeah, baby steps. Yeah, baby steps. So yeah, if you hear extra noises and stuff, we're getting just a little, I already forgot where it's going, a little simple UA. And we have it so when we hold hands at shows, because we're just like so aesthetic. Because we hold hands often.

We always hold hands because again, we're in a lesbian relationship. Tara and I love your nails. Thanks. I did the brown. Glazed donut. Yeah, glazed donut, but I did the darker one. Also, it's so wild. The powder, at first, she did it and it looked like those Moscow mule nails. Have you seen those? No.

Like, you know that glasses, Moscow Meals, come in. They're like those brassy, like, copper. Yeah. So she holds it up and she's like, ask me if I like them. And I was like, I think she saw my face. She was like, oh, so you want like the white one. And I was like, yeah, no, that's not what that is. But that's not what I was wanting. But yeah, I'm happy with them. Oh my goodness. Ash, so.

Why hasn't taken you 10 years to get a tattoo of me? Commitment issues? I feel like one. Commitment issues. I feel like two. I just, I can't, I couldn't decide what we wanted before it was supposed to be like kind of like travel inspired. Yeah. And then it was gonna be very like Pinterest-y where it was like not the infinity sign, but like something like that where it was just like very cliche, best friend. Yeah. And then when we started the podcast,

Taryn had mentioned she was like, we should get matching podcast tattoos. And I was like, wait, I love that. Because, you know, even if this ended tomorrow, we've been doing this for damn near five years now. So that's a good chunk of our love. We can be like, Oh, this is my podcast with someone who shall not be named us. It's not you. It's the podcast.

It was never like a fear of commitment with you. It was just I couldn't land on what I wanted. And then for a while you were like, I need to get one with my sister first, but then I feel like we finally were like, she's never gonna happen. Never gonna happen. So I'm very excited to be doing this. And I also just love that it's something that we've worked on and have been so passionate about for such a long time. I know you're baby. This is so weird because I'm such a hand talker, so I'm like,

trying so hard to like not move. I'm not like don't move. Please don't move. Yeah, no, this is so exciting. And I love that we're doing a wall for recording. I know. Well, it also just makes sense, especially with it being a podcast tattoo that our listeners are here with us supporting me. Because you're all about it. Honestly, if you want to get a tattoo, no.

If you want to get matching you way and be besties with us. Dude, please do. I would literally die. Oh my god. If you do, you should tag us and then we'll be. No, if you do, we will fly you out for a live recording. I mean, maybe. I feel like you have like bestie tattoos. Like there's a lot of people, like I have a couple tattoos that are like matching with other people. Yeah. I don't have any matching with anyone.

Actually, I'm your first. I mistakenly do, well unintentionally do, with some friends of ours had a tattoo artist at their wedding, and they were giving away free tattoos. And I knew I'd have FOMO if I didn't do it, so I made myself do it. And I had an absolute panic attack because the tattoo option that I had chosen out beforehand, because I told the bride I couldn't get one if I didn't have a look at that beforehand.

was actually way bigger in person. So when I went and I got in line and put my name down for the tattoo, I saw the stamp of it and I was like, that's massive, I can't do that. Yeah, Jackson had to help me find one where I could cut it out. Oh yeah, that's honestly smart though. Yeah, there was like a stamp, it was in Colorado, there was a stamp tattoo that I wanted.

and within the stamp, there was this little tiny mountain range. So Jackson was like, can you just cut out this little mountain range? And the guy was like, yeah, sure, that works. So yeah. Oh my gosh, I love that. A lot of girls ended up copying it because they had the same panic moment where they were like, oh no. It is a lot. It's hard when it's like, what are they called? Like flash sheets? Yeah, flash sheets where it's like, okay, here are the ones you can do because it's like,

You know, like, I mean, I'm very much like, I'll get anything tattooed on me now, because I just like, I think I've fallen in love just with tattoos in general. And they're all pretty much tied to like something that I love. So, and they're just like memories. So I like love them. But when you're more like, okay, newer tattoos or like, I want something with meaning it's really hard when you have to like look at a sheet and be like, okay, do I feel like a tattoo? I feel nothing. When I look at that, so how do I do that? It's so good.

My boyfriend's in the same boat. He has like down near 50 and it's just like so immune. Oh my gosh, look at it. It looks so good. That was so fast. Okay, I literally barely felt that. She's that good. Can I tell you this heart tattoo on my finger almost put me in a hospital? It was so painful. This one I barely felt. It's beautiful. Yeah.

I'm multiple. Sessed. Now we get to watch Ash. Which by the way, speaking of watching, this would be a great episode to check out our YouTube. Yeah, like watch the whole thing on YouTube. You can watch me, you know. Ashlee hasn't lose her. First of all, she like has not moved her arm. And like, I think she thinks the stencil is a tattoo or is like an open wound. Like I can't move. She's literally like the sterile ozz to there. It's been like sitting here this entire time that I haven't budged.

It's so funny. But yeah, for YouTube, I feel like YouTube is fun, because you guys get to see, on socials, we'll do little things here and there. We're posting snippets, but I feel like if there's ever an episode where you're like, this would be fun to watch reactions and stuff live, YouTube is a great time. I feel like we have a really fun community there, so. Very true. Also, I'm a big fan of YouTube. I'm a little biased. Are you? Have you heard of YouTube? Big, big fan.

I'm Louis, aka the baddest Pera. And I'm Yoazzi. And we're siblings. We might not be the most intelligent. Or the smartest. Orinte le hintes. You just said that. Oh yeah. But at least we're pretty. You may have seen our viral challenge videos, Mexican food mukbangs and family vlogs. But did you know we're also the hosts of the podcast Pretty Not Smart?

On our show, we expose all the cheese man our lives from our wildest dating stories to childhood feuds to our scary ghost stories. But don't worry, it's not all drama all the time. We discuss financial hardship, the importance of taking care of your mental health, and our experiences dealing with complicated family relationships. Because we're siblings, we know each other better than anyone, which means we also know how to beef with each other like it's nobody's business.

Who doesn't love listening in on a little sibling complex? We've also had some amazing guests join the show, like YouTubers Adam Ray and Laura Mayado, and so many more. At the end of the day, I'm happy to be the pretty one and you'll add to the smart one. No, it's definitely the other way around. And who told you that like? It's the audience. So if you want to hear the juicy perspectives of two pretty siblings, tune in to Pretty Not Smart. Available wherever you get your podcasts.

It's Ashley's turn. I don't even remember what we were talking about. I'm just so excited right now. Look at her face. I feel like such a proud mama still just like filming you. I thought you are such a proud mama right now. Doesn't it? It's like you feel like you can't like breathe or talk. I don't know how you were talking the whole time. I know. I don't think I can. I'm gonna make you talk. I was wondering if you were gonna be like, I can't talk. Just a baby about it the whole time. I am trying to talk.

It's one of those things where I just feel like I can't move. I feel like it's got you. Yeah, you feel very like stuck. Yeah, I always like lose my breath when I'm getting tattoos because I'm just almost like trying to like slow my breathing so I'm not moving. And then, yeah. But you're getting a tattoo right now. It's literally happening. It's literally piercing my skin as we speak. Piercing.

What's the pain level? Not bad. Good. Love that for you. Doesn't hurt. You know what I would rather die than do? And this is so crazy because I'm like, I'm very good with pain. Not a lot of things phase me. Like, I'm a tough cookie. Waxing my eyebrows. I cried every time. Like, I don't know what it was about that specific area and feeling. Yeah. I could not. I could not do it. You know what was worse, threading.

Oh, I would never thread my brows. I would never. Have you seen this? If I have any forehead wrinkles, it's from that. From threading? Yeah. Well...

If anything, this experience is gonna bring us closer together because you can never get rid of us as the podcast and me as your bestie. Yeah, I guess we're officially best friends. We're officially. I don't know what we were before. Starting now. Oh my gosh. This is so fun. I'm thriving right now. I love tattoo. So this could be in every 10 year thing. 10. What are we at? Five.

of the pod. Yeah. So five, every five years. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I hope the podcast is still going in five years. Because it's just going to turn into parenting tips and then going through menopause. Well, we have to hit marriage first. We've got to talk about two marriages. We've got to get through two parent becoming parents. One divorce. Yeah, that's you. Well, raw paper scissors. Just so we can stay relevant, we'll sacrifice.

It's about one of us. It's about changing. It's about going with the flow. That's why you say relevant. I feel like most podcasts die out after two years. The fact that we're at five is a big deal. Also, we hit 300 episodes, and we never actually really do anything. We'll say this is what this was for.

300. Aye. No, I'm so excited. So is there anything you need to update us on in your life, Ash, while we're sitting here? No. She can't. I can't. I can't talk. I can't. I can feel it. I'm very aware. She's very aware of everything. I don't really have any updates. Wait, we saw Sabrina Carpenter.

Oh my gosh, yeah. And we went with Too Faced, and it was an absolute blast. Too Faced, and pretty basic. Yes. And it was so fun. We were in a suite with a bunch of cool people. Yeah. Food was great. People were great. Drinks were great. Music was great. Sabrina Carpenter, her show was just very well done. She wrote out Christina Aguilera. That was wild. That was a jaw to the floor. I'm sure, Taryn, obviously, we're the same age. So I feel like, especially our generation, just having grown up with Christina. Oh, yeah.

And I know she does stuff, but she hasn't come out with any new music. So I think in the back of my head, I never thought I'd see her live. Yeah, she's definitely resurfacing. Like, she's... Dude, I don't know who does her plastic surgery, but I've never seen a transformation like her. I mean, literally a year ago, she looked like a different person. Yeah. I literally scrolled on her Instagram. No, it's wild. Because I was like, I saw her on Call Her Daddy, and she didn't look the way she looked. No.

The other night. No, it's wild. So I was like, what happened? But also, yeah, I was thinking about how there's so many people in the audience right now that are probably like, who is that? Christina? Yeah. There has to be some of the little teeny-boppers over there. Maybe.

Oh, that breaks my heart. No, it's so sad. But what made me so happy, her voice is exactly the same. So good. She's still so talented. It was honestly, I don't even want to say it too loud, but she kind of blew. Well, it's a brain out of her. They're not the same.

She is like a vocal powerhouse. Yes. Where Sabrina definitely like she can be. Like if you look at, she'll have like videos where she's like singing songs and like different things. She can be but her, I feel like it's her tone and like her, she has like this playfulness with like how she sings her songs that I feel like make her very unique.

Agreed, yeah. But I think she did really good, like singing along with her. Oh, I thought she did fantastic. And I did a Christina with me. Yeah, Christina with me. For sure. I'm assuming singing etiquette is similar. You wouldn't want to step on her toes because it's freaking Christina. It's like Celine Dion coming on stage and being like, I'm going to let you do your thing. Yeah, you do your thing. Yes, yes. I will walk here and I'm going to background vocal. But it was so much fun. We sang our little hearts out and had an absolute blast. Guys, it's done!

It looks so amazing! Oh my gosh! It looks amazing! I love it so much!

It's in the perfect spot. No, it really is. It's so cute. To my defense, when I showed up here, I had no idea where it was going. And that's a big deal for me. Yeah. No, honestly, I am proud of you for doing this. And I think it's perfect because we were trying to figure out matching how we were going to get placement, whatever. And I was like, Ash, you pick what you're comfortable with, and we'll just put it on me wherever. Wherever makes sense. So I did it.

She did it. You did it. Yeah, I did it. We did it. We did it. We have. We are actually testing podcast tattoos. Yeah, no, it's official. Definitely check out YouTube. If you want to see more and then I'm sure we'll post some like fun stuff on socials. Huge thank you too. You are youthful, Amanda, our queen. And honestly, it's kind of a blur what we've talked about. I couldn't tell you. Could not tell you. I blacked out. Yeah.

You did pretty good, like, talking now. I was proud of you. Honestly, I was probably gibberish. I was just, like, keep going. Don't stop. Keep talking. Don't say anything. We hope you guys enjoyed that process. Let us know what else you would like us to do while recording. Nails. Care. Bikini wax. Imagine. I'm going to say no to that. I'm going to say hard past that one. I could not speak while we do that. I couldn't even talk to the person doing it. And they always be like, really not. Yeah.

It's so funny. Is it 40-year-old virgin with Steve Curl? Who gets, yeah. And he does it live. So every time I watch that movie and see him screaming in the little blood marks, because he's actually riffing his hair out. Wild. Anyways, let's go ahead and jump into tearing it up. Shall we?

Turn it up. Guys, you know how I've always said that I think like my cletsiness is like contagious. Like usually like I'll hang out with someone and they're like, why did I drop my coffee? Like, why did I whatever? I'm like, I'm so sorry. That's me. Yeah. The guy that I'm like talking to the other day, like something happened to him. And he literally looked at me and he was like, this is your fault. He's like, I never like this stuff never happens to me. And I'm like, I'm telling you now I have solid proof because he has no reference.

Yeah. Of me before. Well, you know what? It's because I haven't met him yet. I would have given him a heads up. Like you rub off on people and that happened. The plague. Like the plague. All of a sudden you're dropping things. All of a sudden you trip really hard and then all of a sudden you're just doing like it's a tear. It's you've been tearing. You've been tearing. You've been tearing. Well, I was going to go ahead and get into a tear it up speaking of, but I had an update.

Okay, but I really wanted to read because we just read about this story and they sent an update. Okay. I think we just read this like two weeks ago, maybe. Okay. Can you give us some like backs like this? Couldn't time, don't know. It could have been a month ago, it could have been yesterday because I have no idea. But do you remember when we, I read an email that said my boyfriend's ready to get engaged and I'm not yet? Yes.

Yes. I think that wasn't that long ago. That was the one like they had just moved in together. Yes. And she was like, I just want to enjoy like this time. Yes. Wasn't that like, do you have like last episode? Wasn't that like, not that long ago? I'm like, so she told. Could you have sort of like heard it and been like, I need to write an update. Exactly, we love that. Exactly. Okay, Taryn. So this one is titled update. My boyfriend is ready to get engaged and married and I'm not. And then it says, per this is yet.

Let's read it. It says, when I tell you my jaw dropped all caps, when I heard the title read on the podcast, while I was working this morning, absolutely unreal. Since I wrote in, a lot of things have happened and all good too. He talked to my dad and my dad was pretty happy.

Love that. We knew that was coming, so cute. My mom is excited too, but is having a little bit of a hard time. She just wants me to be happy. I let my boyfriend know that I needed a long timeline and how important it was to propose when it was right for us, not just because he had my dad's blessing. And he agreed with me.

He ended up proposing to me on his 22nd birthday this fall at a party that I had planned for him. So I didn't suspect a thing until he asked if I wanted to take birthday pictures. And I said, yes, we just set a date for next October. So they have a full year to plan everything.

I've been working on bringing up more of what bothers me and practicing telling him how I'm feeling to my parents and my fiance, and it's going really, really well, especially with wedding planning. I'm trying to be as transparent as possible to avoid stress and making sure it's what I want, not anyone else. Thank you so much for reading and giving your advice. And then she included photos of the engagement. Oh my gosh, I want to see what I want to see. Thank you.

Well, congratulations from Taren and I. I can't wait for the invite. We would love to be there. Yeah, we'll see there. Also, it's like I'm shocked they got engaged already because I thought she was going to say like, hey, like slow it down. But also I love that it's like you seem very happy that it happened, but also are instilling like I am also speaking up with like what I need and like the pace I need to go on and like how

Yes. I'm feeling so I'm really happy for you that it feels like you've found the happy medium because it was never, you don't want to get married. It was just like, I need to do this in like my own. Yeah, my gut instinct when I first read it was like, wait, you immediately got engaged when you said you didn't want to. So I thought I was going to read a,

things that we had a fight blah, blah, blah, because he essentially did what you asked him not to. But it does sound like you're happy about it. And it does sound like you're practicing speaking up for yourself and the things that you want and your boundaries and stuff like that. So I love that for you. And if you're happy, we're happy. So I just know that we're in your corner and I'm happy that it seems like you both are thriving and happy and the parents are happy and everybody's happy. And that's what we want.

It's crazy how like, I mean human psychology is so easy. Like it's really wild how people struggle so much with relationships because there are certain things that like with her, it's not even that she didn't want to get married. It's just that she felt like everyone was rushing in her.

where it sounds like she got a tiny bit of space to just sit in it, and now she feels like she has a voice, and then she's ready to move forward. And it's the same with other things. There are certain things that I have felt very pressured with certain relationships.

Then when I finally like had space to actually think and like do what I wanted to do, it was like different. So it's, I think it's with friendships with relationships with even like parenting. I feel like it's so important to just let someone feel

heard and that their opinion is valued and give them just a beat. So talk and think about what they're doing before just rushing in to making a decision for somebody else. And it's hard because it's not necessarily a malicious or mean thing that the other person is trying to do. Oftentimes, they're just as excited.

as we are, and they're wanting to move to the next chapter, or they're wanting to do the next thing because they're so in love in this situation or excited to be married or start the next chapter. But I think something that they need to realize, just as much as we realize that they're doing it out of excitement and happiness and joy, they also need to realize that some of us, and I'm mostly speaking about spocking.

I'm mostly speaking about myself here because I really resonated with you, Anonymous. A lot of us just can't do spontaneous things without this wild anxiety in the back of our head saying you're going too fast, it's gonna mess up, you need to take it slow, have you thought this through? And I can't fully enjoy something unless I've taken my time and allowed myself to fully think it through. And it doesn't mean that I'm not as excited

as my partner to get married, you know, it doesn't mean that I'm not as excited for, you know, or as in love as them. It just means that I move at a slower pace and just as much as I respect you for being as excited and wanting to go to the next chapter, like you have to respect us in our process of getting to the same level as you. Yeah.

And I love that you are working on practicing speaking that out because if you're going to marry this guy, then he's going to have to learn to like slow the down for you, you know, or just like to bring you along it.

your pace like meet you halfway. And it sounds like you feel like you've gotten that rhythm. So that's good. Yeah. So congratulations. Congratulations. I feel free to, you know, send us photos of the wedding process. Give us more updates until your fiance that we said congratulations as well. Yes, we love it. This title I'm about to read is the most, could be the most diabolical

title. Diabolical. I've ever read. Are you ready to be enraged? Oh shoot. Oh shoot. Okay. Raged. Let's go. My boyfriend's mom said she hopes my dog dies. Excuse me. There is a special place in hell. There really is. And I will put you there. I'm just kidding. Who are not dog people? Anyone ever said that about Charles? I will be fighting on site.

On site. I really dislike her. On site. I really dislike her. We hope she... I'm just kidding. I'm not far from saying that. Okay. And then she continues, I need help with how to navigate the holidays. Yeah.

My boyfriend, who's 23 and I 23, are moving in together and I'm bringing my dog with me. My dog is reactive and can get anxious around new people, so I can't really have people over to hang out. Which, Ash, you have a very reactive dog. I was gonna say, this is me, I'm in this situation. Yeah, I thought this would be a good one for you to like,

weigh in on to. My boyfriend and I have had conversations about this before deciding to move in together. And he said he's okay with that. As I know, bringing a dog, especially one that has issues is a big commitment and responsibility. Totally. Yeah. I'm sure. Did you think about that with Jackson? Yes. And I also still think about that with Jackson. Like obviously we've only been living together for a couple of months now.

but I'm very aware that I brought the dog, he didn't. So I try my hardest to make sure I'm the one taking her out and I'm the one dropping her off at Alicia's and I'm the one trying to do the majority. I try to be the one that feeds her. I try to be the one to do all of the dog handling work. Jackson is just an honest to God, great human and does that stuff all the time too, without me asking, which is so kind. But also, again, I'm just

super aware that this is I brought this yeah.

beautiful little creature. Beautiful little diva. Our relationship, and I try to make sure that that burden stays on my shoulders, not his. However, my dog has wrapped her, has him wrapped around her tiny little paw. Chloe, other day, Jackson. The other day I was editing, I was just minding my own business, doing my thing, and Jackson walks by, and he's holding her perched on his shoulder, and he's just walking around the house.

like with her on his shoulder. And I was like, um, excuse me, sir, she can walk. Like it's okay to make her walk. And he was like, no, I'm just a little older. Like when I tell you, like even his voice becomes like, like he's talking to a baby when he talks about her. And it's the funniest thing because he's such a like big, like just man. Yeah. And he's holding this tiny little dog and it's just like so obsessed with this tiny little dog. And it's just the, it's the cutest, the cutest thing. Yeah. I'm sorry. I can't talk today.

I'm saying a lot of really weird words. The cutiest things. Yes, we love it. Fast forward, I was visiting my boyfriend before moving in, and I was scrolling through messages to find a specific convo he asked me to reply to while he was driving. And I came across a text on his phone from his mom that said, I hope she put dog's name, dies, so I can come visit and stay with you guys. Are you kidding me?

I guess you're never visiting and staying with us. Literally that would, she's not welcome into my home if I read that. Okay, there's so many aspects. First of all, she must not be a dog person. Clearly. And your dog is your child. And people that aren't dog people? I don't trust. You're clearly a sociopath or a murderer or a serial killer. And maybe the dog is so reactive when the mom comes around because she is.

and a dog can feel that.

Honestly, take her advice with a grain of salt because we are very heated. So we could be having good advice or we could just be very triggered. No, she's not. She's no longer welcome. Can't come to my birthday party. Can't come to Christmas. Can't come to New Year's. Also, I don't want to go see you for Christmas either. I haven't even gotten into the story. We need to bug it out. Let's reel it in. I started crying and brought it up to my boyfriend who said he didn't know what she meant by that and just to let her have her moment.

I was upset because this is not the first time his mom has said rude comments and hurtful things about me or to me. I expressed that I wish he would have stood up for us more. And this is going to be his dog soon too. This was a last draw for me. His mom is a lot and she crosses boundaries in ways that make me uncomfortable. Some examples. She is complained about him posting me on Instagram instead of her.

Uh-oh. Oh, shoot. We're putting a pin in that. That he texts or call her every day. No. Calls him, Babe or my baby boy. He's 24 years old. Mm. Asked me to take underwear to him, which he didn't ask for. Made passive aggressive comments about how often I visit to see him, how much time he spends with me and him spending money on me.

She's also taken his clothes from his closet, slept in his bed even after he moved out and checks his location and credit card use. This is been an ongoing issue for him even before we started dating and he's been open about needing to set boundaries because she often intrudes on his life and he feels smothered.

I expressed to him that I would not pull up with this behavior if he wants to have a future with me. I won't allow his mom to meddle in our lives and him not set boundaries with her. He said that he agrees and that I will always be his priority, not his mom. Love. Great response. He ended up having a conversation with her and she said she didn't mean it that way and started to guilt trip him to make him feel bad for her. Sure.

She then texted me to apologize, but the apology was more about trying to make me feel bad for her. She said she didn't mean it like how she said it, and she was sad that she wouldn't be able to see her son. Then she said she was devastated that she has forever ruined

Her relationship with her son. Who's fault is that? And me, and that she always tries so hard to be liked and always fails miserably. Okay, but she's just gaslighting you. She's turning the tables and making it all about her when she's the one who's in the wrong here.

I understand that she's sad and she won't be able to stay with us, but hoping someone's dog dies is a little bit excessive. Anyways, neither of us invited her to come visit us. She can get a hotel if we do invite her. I'm extremely hurt by what she said and even more by the way she handled what she did. How can I move on from this and should I go to his family's Christmas?

Okay, she's toxic, first of all. That's not clear enough, like clearly. I hope you know like you're doing nothing wrong, your man's doing nothing wrong. She clearly is a very toxic, true. She clearly is a very toxic person and he had to grow up with that. It makes me wonder what like his childhood was like. Well, and I do think like,

There's part of me that has empathy for certain mamas who just like have a hard time letting go. Cause you wonder like- But all mamas have to let go. No, I understand that, Ash, but think about like she could have, this could be like a symptom of certain trauma. Maybe his dad wasn't around and like, so there's, there's a certain cushion where I empathize with certain people having to like let go of relationships for sure.

Now, where my empathy runs out is when if those boundaries have been expressed in a loving way and they're not respected. But part of me is like, I know your boyfriend's been expressing how he needs boundaries and she smothers him. But if she still is doing that stuff, like, why does she have access to his credit card statements? Why is she tracking him like that? Why is she tracking him? Why is she like?

I don't know. I think there's a lot of things now that fall on him. Her tendencies. It sounds like they've always been her tendencies. So expecting her to just magically like stop and respect you guys. I feel like is a hard.

That's a hard expectation I have. I feel like we need to be realistic about what she's capable of. And instead, your boyfriend needs to step up and create boundaries and be the one that is the driving force in that. Because if she sends texts like that or she says things, that's his job to respond and be like,

That was inappropriate. Why would you say something like that? You know what I mean? But now if you're wanting a future with him, it is your problem too. But I think that he still needs to be the one to step it up. That's not fair to put you in that position because then you're the one who came into his life and ruined everything with them.

And that's not fair. Yeah, it's not fair. And I think every human has to go through this to a certain degree at some point with their parents. And I remember hitting it around that age, around 24. That's when I first moved out. That's when I first, you know,

Started drawing boundaries around my parents and it wasn't in a I hate them kind of way because I adore my parents and I want them in my life and I want to be able to chat with them But I it was in an effort of me to discover myself and find myself and stand on my own two feet and be independent like everyone should and We'll do that to a degree. Yeah

I do think we're at a point now where he needs to be aware of his mom. And I am aware of my mom and something I love about my mom is she is there for me. She is loving. She takes such good care of me. She's always, if I call her, she will drop everything and she will be at my front door and then she'll be.

Yeah. Whatever I need her to be in that moment. But something that comes along with that kind of personality is I think she can get very anxious about things and she can kind of spiral about things. So there's a reason I don't let her track me. Yeah. And it's not out of me not respecting her or me not trusting her. Of course I trust her. She's my number to call in an emergency because I know she'll get here and she'll get it done. Yeah. But she doesn't need to know where I'm at.

at 24 seven midnight, you know, she doesn't need to check and see if I'm home. Like, I think there's, there's a level of which you can give your parents and there's a level of which you like keep to yourself. And I think he needs to draw that line and boundary of like what he can give to his mom and what he can't give to his mom. Yeah, because even like, like, I feel like our moms are very similar, like they're very just

Loving to the point where it like it can suffocate you in the best way and even like with you know like I've been talking to this guy but it hasn't even been two months and my mom is just naturally like the sweetest like wants to include everyone like she obviously cares so much about me so she's like dying to know this guy and like she texts me the other day about like wanting to like

His birthday is coming, like, should we do birthday tacos? Because that's what we do with people we love. It's like birthday tacos. And it's like, it's so sweet. So sweet. And what my response is, is because I care about her and I see where she's coming from, is to have conversations where I'm like, I love that you want to do that. And I can't wait for it to get to that point. But like, it hasn't been that long. I don't want to overwhelm him. We're not even official. I don't know what we are yet.

So let me figure that out first. For sure. And of course, her response is great because we've created that relationship where we both know that we love each other. So when I step in and I'm like, oh, I'm not ready for something, it's not her blowing up and then gaslighting me to be like, oh, well, okay, well, I guess I'll just never meet him. And I guess I'll never, you don't appreciate me like whatever. That would be immature. Exactly. And unfortunately, it seems like you're,

Boyfriend's mom's a little bit on the immature side. No, she I mean she obviously is codependent issues She obviously has an attachment to him. That's not healthy But she also has a lifetime of getting away with stuff like that because your boyfriend hasn't that's just how he grew up. He probably doesn't know any better. Yeah, so

what I would do if I were you is one, I don't think you should have to do anything. This is his mom. I think she's the one who should be dealing with this. Speaking up for you, standing up for you, drawing those boundaries. This is his relationship, you know? Especially, you guys aren't married. So like, you definitely shouldn't have to do anything in this situation. What I would do is I would pull him aside and be like, hey, the way she talks about me is unacceptable. The way she talks about my dog,

unacceptable. That will not be tolerated. The way she's spinning, turning the tables around and making it look like it's my fault that I stole her adult son away from her is unacceptable. And I would really appreciate if you draw some boundaries with your mom.

I would be very open to like communicating and helping him discover what those boundaries would be for himself because he needs to be the one to draw them. Just because you're saying, you know, you shouldn't speak to her ever. It doesn't mean that that aligns with him, but maybe you guys can communicate about like how that can fit in them in between. But what I would say is I think not showing up to Christmas looks bad for you more than it looks bad for her. It's not teaching her a lesson.

it's getting on a more immature level down with her. Oh, it's feeding the narrative that she's already going with, which is like you came along and ruined. Yeah, if you're already ruining her life, you're definitely ruining her life by not coming to Christmas and like sticking it to her and that way. Yeah, yeah. So I would prove her wrong by showing up to Christmas, being an absolute delight, maybe even showing up with a perfectly baked pie. I don't know, like really rub it in that you're great.

that's what I would do. And then, you know, let them do their thing. This isn't your family to go. And I think that's a dog. The dog thing is a good way to start showing her what a healthy compromise looks like. Like reaching out and being like, hey, like, obviously I've heard like you're worried about not coming over. So I've heard you want my dog dead.

Literally. Let's brainstorm. Obviously, we'd love to get you a hotel. If you want to come over, I can put the dog in the room and we can watch a movie, try to find ways so that it's not so like, hey, you'll never step into a house that we ever own. Find ways where it's like, okay, well, I'll have the dog chill in our room.

And then I'll just keep going in and checking on her, whatever. But I think it'd be a good way to let her see. This is not us icing you out. This is new for us. And let's find something that makes you feel good. Or hey, let's start doing dinners every Tuesday, or whatever it is. And that's the whole thing. And this is why I think you and your boyfriend need to talk is

You can come up with something where she gets to see him and he gets to see her and they get to have family time and you get to be involved when it's scheduled and planned ahead of time. That's how I feel about stuff. I don't want my mom or Jackson's mom to just show up.

Well, if that's not your dynamic. And that's the thing, is you have to figure out your dynamic. Because I don't mind that. But as long as it would be different, I'd speak up if it was happening every day. But if my mom hit me up and was like, hey, can I pop by? Sure, sure, sure. But it sounds like this woman is trying to show up.

Yeah. Constantly. If he texts her or calls her every day, I don't think that's that crazy. I talk to my mom every day. Exactly. So I think it's you also, I think because this topic is sensitive to you because she has cross lines. Yeah. Now it's like everything feels intense. I think we're a little better and rightfully so.

Right, fully so. So I think it's too like just weeding out like telling him like, hey, these specific areas affect me. So you've got to like figure that out. And then I think go to Christmas, continue to work on getting just like close with her, but also draw those lines if she starts making those comments being like, Susan, like you know that that's not the case. So I'm not even going to engage in this conversation and walk away. You know what I mean?

I don't know. I definitely think he needs to take lead and I think you need to have your statements prepared for if she does start playing the whole victim mentality. Yeah. I think all of that is a great place to start. I think obviously the more you communicate with your boyfriend, the better. I think also just being supportive with him, it's hard.

It's got to be a hard position when you feel when you love your mom and you know, she it's all like in love and it's not, you know, or maybe she's scared and maybe he can tell, you know, like that's a weird position to be in to draw boundaries was a loved one out of love.

but, you know, necessary boundaries. So like ask him what he needs, how you can help. Like, is there something that you can do on your end to make things a little better with her? Because maybe you just do it to help him out, not out of, you know, not for her, but for him. Yeah. And see how you can support him in that way, help him, you know, stand firm in those boundaries, but also like if he creates those boundaries and that includes dinner every once in a while, show up. Maybe show up and maybe be maybe just downright delightful.

Now when you love somebody, you have to love the things that come with them. It's not always amazing, but you do it for that person and what's important to them. Those are sacrifices you make. Honestly, I think when you commit to trying to work on a relationship,

You'd be surprised how easy stuff starts coming. So you got this. Thank you for writing in. I mean, I think in law, conversations are very, very relevant. A lot of people struggle with, you know, what comes with a boyfriend or husband and their family. Yeah, but.

I'm proud of us. I feel like we were able to like put aside the dog. Oh, a hundred percent. Being enough to give advice, but that is- I didn't know if I could at first. I don't take back me saying it's diabolical. Me neither. Shall we get into mine? We shall. This one? Also, just prepare yourself. Okay. It's unwell. This one is titled, My Boyfriend Was Living A Double Life.

Is this going to give me more trust issues than I already have? Literally? Nah, crap. Disclaimer. Do you have trust issues? If you might trust issues, you might want to be careful listening to this. Let's go ahead and dive on in. Hello, ladies. I first want to thank you for this wonderful community and safe space to share. Aww.

I am pretty much all caught up on episodes, which makes me happy, but also sad because this podcast is my go-to. I feel that. That's such a real feeling. That's always a bummer when you're like, well, now what do I listen to? I'm caught up. I would like to remain anonymous because the story is a doozy. I am an Enneagram, too. I'm 25 years old and have my masters. I would consider myself an extroverted introvert, and I love seeing my friends, but also love some good alone time at home.

Thank you for all that background information to future writers. That's what we're talking about. You're basically me. I know exactly. I know you so well now for my story. Let me give you some context. My first serious relationship was four years long and he was a narcissist who cheated on me, but I successfully got out of that toxic relationship and went to therapy after. I learned to trust again. Then I met my next boyfriend.

It was like a movie, a fairy tale. I know what you're thinking, no love bombing happened, and it wasn't even like that. I loved him more than anything, and we both discussed getting married and having kids often. We moved in together in our lovely home and had it never been happier. During our relationship, I started and finished my masters. This was definitely a hard time, in parentheses she puts rightly so, because my masters was literally the hardest thing I've ever done.

flash forward. I am done with my masters and starting my career. My boyfriend and I feel so close to marriage and I was so pumped because I was convinced I would have a ring by the end of the year. We had been together for over three years at this point, living together for almost two. He even told me to have my nails done for the next few months, okay?

That is outright. That's the biggest hint you could ever get. Then a week ago, my life turns upside down. I basically find out he's been living a double life. I'm scared. For the last year, she puts in all caps. He was having sex with other women pretty consistently.

And one time with I was not ready for that. No one was at all. No one was. Oh my gosh. And one time with more than one other woman in the bedroom. He had Tinder about three times during the year and also made out with another girl and admitted to flirting with women all the time. He even had some unprotected sex, therefore putting me in danger emotionally and physically.

Does she say how she found out? So tons of emotional and physical cheating. He even told my dad that our wedding wasn't too far away. Basically, a tender match of his messaged me. Such a girl's girl. And that's what led to this spiral of women.

He would message them on Instagram and plan out when he would see them, then delete the messages. He would block their numbers when at home with me, then unblock them when he left the house. Seriously? It was truly a double life, and I had no idea. I never even thought of that. That's what you would probably have to do in order to get away with that. I actually never heard that. This is so terrifying. Every time,

You think you know all the ways a person would cheat and like, what to look for, then you hear something like this. You're like, oh my God. And here I am folding his underwear when he's off with other women, packing his lunch for work, serving him baked goods while he did work in our office, bringing him tea, giving him huge hugs when he would come home, et cetera. Not to toot my own horn, but I am literally a wife and all of these friends say I am wife material.

I literally did everything for him and just adored him so much. And no, I don't think it was me latching on to someone showing me love after my first relationship as I believe I had healed. And I truly think the first two years of our relationship were special. I don't think I am that ignorant or oblivious. He also knew exactly where I stood and how important marriage is to me. So the fact that he did this is even more wild because he knew where I stood and knew my past.

I knew he had a fear of marriage, but I didn't think it would go to this extent. And he still told me he deeply desires kids and wants to get married. So I thought it was a minor typical fear we would work through. So my question for you is, how am I supposed to ever trust again? How can I feel confident in the bedroom after being cheated on so much? I know I can't put my past on another person, but this is beyond crazy.

both long-term partners I've had have cheated. I just don't know how to move forward because he does. Oh my gosh. I just don't know how to move forward because he does feel bad, but he also still doesn't want me, which is so backwards. Usually the cheater is begging for the other person back, but this isn't the case. I truly thought he was my soulmate and had never felt that before. So what do I do?

Don't worry. I've already lined up therapy and have done some journaling, but I need some more advice. My life was flipped on a dime and I lost not only my partner, but my future husband, future kids, my home, my routine, my second family, all that time, and even some friends of his. What do I do? Help me. Love you so much. Anonymous. Oh, my stomach hurts. It's so scary.

I feel so bad for you. I feel like you are such a victim in this man's wild, messed up story.

He doesn't sound like he has an ounce of empathy, which is really, really weird. You said he feels bad, but like, I don't believe it. No, he feels bad that he got caught and that he has to stop, which he obviously can't. So why would he ask for you back knowing that like,

He's not gonna be able to give you what he wants, and he's not gonna be able to stop. I think he knows he's supposed to feel bad, and so he's saying what he's supposed to say, but he doesn't sound remorseful in any way, which is scary, because that screams sociopath to me. And if he can do all of that and not feel bad for two years...

That's crazy. And you're leading a double like, it's okay. It's gonna sound very like true crimey, but the premeditative, premeditativeness. That was a lot of syllables. Premeditativeness, I know that's not a word, but we're gonna go ahead and go with it. Of him blocking and unblocking and planning and hiding. All of these messages goes to show that there's zero remorse there and he's a scary person.

You're on a dating app. Like, while being with someone for three years, talking about marriage, talking about kids. But also, like, he obviously wasn't that scary. Like, yeah, he was covering his tracks, but like, if you're gonna put your photo out there on a dating app that any of her friends can like come across. Yeah.

The amount of time that I've gone out with girlfriends, this was a while ago, when we were all on the dating apps, and we would all realize that people were talking to the same guy, or people had come across the same people on dating apps. There was one guy that literally, a whole table of us, were all like, oh my god, like I connected with him too. There was a whole moment where we were like, wait.

Yeah. Okay. And then we all just like unanimously blocked him. Yeah. It's crazy. And so to think that he did that while being in a relationship with you, knowing that most people nowadays are on, if they're single, are on dating apps. So like her friends, his friends could easily have found him. That is so ballsy. And like, it just makes me so sad because it's like,

You, you get past two years, you move in with someone, you know that like engagement is happening. Like you feel safe, like you put your guard down and you feel safe. So then when someone does not only breach your trust, but in such a violent way, the way this guy did, like it makes total sense why you're falling apart and why like,

I mean, there's no way to sugarcoat. Like, this is going to be a lasting impact. Like, you've been cheated on twice. This is going to be something four years and then three. This is going to be something you're going to have to really stay.

vigilant with. I think intensive therapy is a great idea. I think therapy is where you're going to get some tools on how to like come back holding every person in your future to the people in your past. Yeah. But I think that also like

I don't think it's ever the person's fault who got cheated on, but I also think if that were me, I would be like, okay, what are some red flags that I might have ignored? What are some ways that I can involve people in my life to also have an eye out for this?

For me, I would probably need to have someone that had an open phone policy. I would have to have a lot of tools in my belt. I would have to have a huge support system. And I would have to have a future partner that I very, very upfront told, hey, this is my past. These are the things that are going to come with dating me. And I think the right person is going to be able to take that on and be like, OK, what is it that you need to see?

Gosh, it just like makes me like want to die though because that's everyone's biggest fear is there's like even like oh He's like messaging other girls, but then on top of that you add the list you just gave of Things you did and I just I literally want to throw up. I literally want to throw up. That's literally like

as far as her timeline, that's literally me finding out right now that Jackson had been hooking up with all of these women and on dating apps, blah, blah, blah. That's so much time and investment. And that helps me and hopefully you guys put it into perspective three years of dating and knowing someone, moving in together, talking about marriage. They know your family, his family. You're so intertwined.

And I do get the whole, I get why you're like flustered, like, and he doesn't want me. Yeah. Because that is the rhythm. Like I would literally be at your front door step if you said, and I'm just wondering like, should I make this work? Absolutely.

He's dead. Oh, yeah. And he's dead to us. To her credit from what I can tell, she was writing the whole thing in past tense. So I think she clearly cut him off and did all what she needed to do. But I think that's very fair to be like, and why isn't he trying to make this work? 100%. I got that. You hurt me, you lied to me, you cheated on me, and you're telling me the cherry on top is you don't want to try to make this work. Try to make this work. It feels like a slap in the face. I think he knows. He knows you're a wife, and he knows what he did. Like there's no coming back.

meeting you. Why draw this out for three years? If that's who you are, fine. But don't get other people involved. Go live your dirty life on the side. No, literally. Why convince this girl that you're going to marry her? That's so toxic. That's so scary. I just can't imagine. I just was having this conversation the other day. I'm like, I can't imagine being able to

Look the person that you love in the eye knowing that you're doing that stuff on the side. Like I just don't know how you justify in your own minds.

to be able to be like, I love you. Like, yes, marriage. Like, yeah, this is our kid's name. Yeah. No way in the positions you were in last night was like another girl. She said her life flipped on a dime, which means she had no clue, which means he is a master at lying, which again, especially with the no remorse thing, that's scary. Please blast that man's face all over TikTok. Because we need to make sure my friends are not talking to him. We need to warn women kind. Yeah, geesh.

Oh my God, he sounds like a master manipulator. He sounds like way too good at scheming and lying. The way that he could let you hug him and kiss you and say goodbye and then go off to work and unblock all the numbers.

All in one morning, all in one hour, like, that's insanity. That's so scary. You know what? It's so important to remember, like, that's not your fault. Like, that's not you. Like, you not knowing this was happening is not your fault because

You were in it, you trusted your person. Like he is the fact that he's so skilled to hide all of this, that's on him. And this is all a reflection of him and it's so hard not to take any of it personal. But it really is his ugliness, not yours. So I think that like...

Your therapist is going to work with you through that, but it's really important to separate that. And remember, like, this is a reflection of him and the type of person he is. And I am a good person. And I trusted and went into this relationship openheartedly, which is what we all want to be able to do. Oh, 100%. Now, I feel like I feel like we do need to get into the like, she asked, like, how do I move on? So let's give her therapy.

I would fully lean into, I'm not dating anyone for at least year. Intensive therapy. I would be in therapy twice a week. And I would, I say this out on every episode, but I'm very serious. I would gather my girls around me.

Support groups. And I wouldn't say like my girls, I don't want like a group, and I do want you to like be like social and have your people around you, but I would get like your Terrence. I would get like your sister, people, your mom, like people that are like integral and that will like help carry you through this. And I would tell them, and I want to really reiterate this again, this is not your fault, but it would be so normal and natural to be like, how did I miss this? So I would get your girls around you and I'd be like, hey, the next guy.

We're having meetings. We're having weekly meetings. Like I would need you to be asking him questions. I need you to be asking me questions. I need you to be questioning like, hey, how do you feel? He said he was doing this or he didn't come to this or, you know, I would want them just as much a part of my relationship as me because I would be scared to date again. Like it would be hard. It would be hard to get back out there. And I feel like that's what I'm most worried about you for. It's not necessarily the getting over him because

You can and you will and it sounds like you're very therapy forward, which means like you'll probably get through this faster than most people. But it would be the next relationship. How can you sit across from someone on your first date and not think of like who they're texting on the side, you know? And like I think it's something that like I've really learned too is.

I didn't include anyone in my first relationship and I put up with a lot that I shouldn't have because I just didn't know. And I'm the type of person that will just create the best narrative about a person I care about. But what I'm learning even in starting today right now is like...

There's a lot of things where I'll share with a friend and like if a friend will be like, Taryn, you're tripping. Like, no, what are you talking about? Like, no, he wasn't he just texting you five minutes ago. Why are you tripping out on this one test? What about all the texts before? Like, and that's what friends are for.

It's important to talk about everything and not try to protect the guy because you want your friends to think highly of him. A good friend is going to be able to stick up for you and say, hey, those are kind of red flaggy. I think you should pay attention to that. Or they're just going to realize it's normal fights and whatever. But I think the more you feel like you have to hide from friends,

That's when you should be concerned. So there's a lot of things you're going to be able to do moving forward. But I really think before you even think about moving forward, you have to think about processing. And it's going to be therapy. It's going to be a lot of time spent with yourself and self love. And then as you start to create those tools, it's just going to be like frequent check-ins with yourself of like, OK, am I feeling this because of a sign?

this person's giving me, or is this my past speaking? And you're going to have to look for a partner who's ready and willing to take on the effects that these other men have had on you. But it's totally possible. And someday you're going to look back and this is going to be a part of your story that you use to help so many other women and people going through stuff like this. Girl, write a book. That's what you should do. My God. So it's going to make you stronger.

You know, it's like the whole diamonds, like pressure makes a diamond, like it's gonna totally impact like who you become. Yeah. And I think it'll be like a beautiful, beautiful part of where you end up is like, look at all I came through and that's how I got like this beautiful life and this beautiful person who I'm with.

Yeah. And you're a guy that you just thank God, like, cut out of your life. Like, this cycle's going to repeat forever. Yeah. He's going to have a miserable existence. So thank God you found out. Thank God you got away. Yeah. And now your focus is rebuilding yourself before you think about what comes in the future. Yeah. And can I just say, I just love that she didn't.

We didn't read an email of her being like, here's what happened. What do I do? She did it. Yeah. She didn't come here saying, do I, do I try with him or whatever? She, she was gone. Like he's out of the photo. So I love that you did that. And I love that you're focusing on moving forward and growth and healing. And I think, I think, you know, I think most people I talk to, especially when it comes to like breakups and stuff like that.

It's devastating in the moment, but everyone that I've been through, every friendship of mine where they've gone through it and they're going through that process, that healing process ends up being like such a beautiful chapter of their life where they're focusing on themselves and their friendships and they're growing and they're healing. Often there's travel. It ends up being like such a great, like,

a self-discovery chapter, and I'm really hoping for that for you. So thank you so much for sharing. And write the book. Write the book. Get the check. Get the check. God. I'm so sorry. I hate him. I hate him too. I really do want to blast his name and face. Send us the photo and we'll blast it so you won't be involved.

I'll do it from a random number. Tier it, ladies. Yeah. This man out here. If you see this man on the apps, we're in person. Run for your life. That tick-tock, run. Bringing, bringing. Yeah. Anyways, let's go ahead and do our dad joke because we all need to laugh a little. I forgot. I got a tattoo. I know. That was weird. Hell, yeah. I'm such a bad.

You are looking at you. Look at me. You need to do the fourth tattoo, guys. The TikTok where it's like, when my tattoo's not showing and then when my tattoo is showing. But it's like that little one. It's like, d-d-d-d-d and then it's like, girl. Want to hear a joke about paper? Yes. Never mind. It's terrible.

Hair, good job. Wait, have you done that one before? Wait, have I? It sounds kind of familiar. Or maybe it was something different that was Taryn or something. I don't know, but I regret nothing. If that's a repeat either. Watch it was literally last week. I'm like, why does that sound kind of familiar? Because all dad jokes are kind of the same. Yeah, you tell us. You guys would know better than us. Oh, no. Did I read? Probably not. Probably not.

Honestly, it's shocking that I don't, I really feel like I've almost, if I have repeated a couple, it's maybe like two over the five years. I feel like you've done a really great job of not repeating. I will say it takes me a long time to find dad jokes now because I'm like Reddit, Reddit, Reddit, Reddit. Well, I thought about getting you another dad joke book last year, but I was like, I think they're all the same.

Yeah. Unless it's from the same author and it's a completely new set. New book, yeah. Like you're going to be rereading a bunch of stuff. That's true. That's true. Yeah. If you guys know how to find other dad jokes, let us know. No ash. The other day, Mystery Man was over and I went to the bathroom and when I came out, I heard him giggling and I, not giggling, but like, you know, I think it's funny when you say a man giggles. Yeah. Cause it's like giggles.

And I look over and he was like sitting on my bed reading the dad joke book. I was like, really? I was like, we, you like dad joke? That's a big point for him. Check, check, tick. You guys already know the drill. If you made it to the dad joke, we love you the mostest. Be sure to check out our supercast where we have bonus content, scary story, still, AMA solo episodes, ad-free listening. Check us out on YouTube. You can watch me get a tattoo.

Us, Ashley. You can watch us get a tattoo, but also me. Get a tattoo. I'm on YouTube, and then check out our socials, where we're doing all kinds of fun little TikTok fun videos. All of the things. And yeah, we love you the most. See you later. Bye.