Deceptive Charm: Beware of seemingly charming individuals; they may hide manipulative traits linked to narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy. Recognizing these signs early can help protect your emotional well-being.
Relationships can be tricky, especially with people who seem charming but later reveal manipulative traits. This can be linked to personality types known as the dark triad—narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy. These traits can undermine connections over time, manifesting as a lack of empathy and selfishness. Recognizing these patterns early helps us protect ourselves from potential harm. It's crucial to understand that not everyone exhibiting these traits is severely affected; many may show only mild characteristics. Such individuals can be present in various areas of life, including work and personal circles. The challenge lies in identifying when their behavior turns detrimental. Overall, staying aware and cautious can help in managing these relationships effectively, allowing us to maintain our well-being and prevent emotional distress.
Charismatic Indifference: Many individuals blend sociopathic traits with charisma, masking their self-centeredness. Privilege often enables these behaviors, leading to increased indifference towards others. It's vital to recognize when people treat others as tools for personal advantage rather than as equals worthy of genuine relationships.
In modern society, many people may hide traits of sociopathy, often manifesting as being self-centered or manipulative without even realizing it. These traits can be concealed under a charismatic surface, and those with privilege may feel less concern for others. As people gain status, their indifference to the needs of others may increase, allowing them to escape social consequences. Recognizing that these individuals can treat others as mere tools for their gain is crucial. This often leads to startling realizations about their nature, where they fail to acknowledge their impact on others. Ultimately, maintaining relationships is often about what they can extract rather than nurturing genuine connections based on empathy and mutual respect.
Relationship Balance: Healthy relationships require mutual interest and support. Recognizing when one person dominates the conversation is crucial to restoring balance and preventing manipulation. Approach labels like 'narcissism' with caution, as they can misrepresent true behaviors.
In relationships, it's important to recognize when one person dominates the conversation and shows little interest in the other. This imbalance can lead to feelings of resentment and manipulation. Terms like 'narcissism' are often misused, so it's crucial to approach these dynamics with care. Effective communication requires both parties to contribute equally and be willing to adjust their roles. When a friend suddenly becomes unresponsive or unwilling to support you in tough times, it can reveal deeper issues like narcissism or Machiavellian behavior. Awareness and open dialogue can help restore balance, but it's essential to be cautious about labeling others based on social media trends. Relationships should be mutual, with shared interests and concerns, rather than one-sided exchanges where one person only seeks support without reciprocating.
Boundary Setting: Be aware of manipulative dynamics in relationships and set personal boundaries. Prioritize your emotional well-being and seek help if needed, focusing on self-care and assertiveness.
Relationships can become challenging, especially when dealing with individuals who have manipulative traits. It's important to remain aware of such dynamics and set personal boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Remember that your feelings and reactions to their behavior are valid, and it's crucial to prioritize self-care while navigating these situations. Recognizing red flags early can help prevent further emotional turmoil. If safety is a concern, seek external resources and support. It's essential to empower yourself by understanding what you're willing to accept, asserting your boundaries, and not allowing yourself to be controlled by others' demands. By taking these steps, you can regain control over your interactions and maintain a healthier relationship with yourself and others.
Boundary Setting: Establishing clear boundaries with manipulative individuals and documenting interactions can protect your mental health. Trust must be earned, and being direct helps avoid confusion in communications.
Setting clear internal and external boundaries with people who exhibit manipulative or unclear behaviors is crucial for maintaining emotional and mental well-being. Recognizing when someone may be gaslighting you, and keeping a detailed record of interactions can provide clarity. It’s essential to distinguish between trustable and untrustworthy behaviors, accepting that certain people can only be engaged in limited ways. By being direct, avoiding fuzziness in communication, and developing a strong sense of self, you can defend your space without needing the other's permission or validation, ultimately fostering healthier relationships.
Navigating Narcissism: Be cautious in relationships with narcissistic individuals. If you feel confused or question your worth, set clear behavioral boundaries. Pay attention to your emotional cues, as they can indicate manipulative dynamics that undermine healthy communication.
Navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals can be challenging. They often resist accountability and expect others to conform to their needs without recognizing the autonomy of others. If you find yourself questioning your worth or feeling confused in conversations, it might indicate you're dealing with someone who uses manipulative tactics. Establishing clear behavioral boundaries and focusing on specific actions, rather than delving into deeper personality traits, is vital for maintaining your own mental clarity. It's important to be aware of the emotional cues that signal unhealthy dynamics, especially when the interaction feels fuzzy or unclear. Recognizing these signs can help protect yourself from being drawn into their reality distortion, ensuring that conversations remain constructive and accountable.
Navigating Self-Centered Relationships: Be cautious with self-centered individuals, recognizing manipulative traits. Focus on establishing safety, setting internal boundaries, and practicing self-care to protect your well-being and navigate these complex interactions effectively.
When dealing with people who may exhibit narcissistic traits, it's crucial to remain aware of their self-centered behavior and potential manipulative tactics like gaslighting. Establishing safety is vital, as well as setting internal boundaries to protect your well-being. Thoughtful communication and clarity can help navigate interactions, while prioritizing self-care is essential to handle any emotional toll. Although some individuals might not be officially diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, consistent patterns of behavior can signal a need for caution. Ultimately, it’s important to recognize red flags, maintain clear personal boundaries, and address the relationship dynamics carefully to protect yourself while figuring out whether to stay in, modify, or exit the relationship.
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The Dark Triad: Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People
enSeptember 30, 2024
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Recent Episodes from Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
Understanding and Overcoming Social Anxiety: Attachment, Exposure, and Confidence
In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the all-too-common challenge of social anxiety. They break down what it really means to be socially anxious (hint: it's not just being shy), where those feelings come from, and why they stick around. Rick explains the roots of social anxiety, highlighting the role of attachment styles and individual temperament, before Forrest shares how to locate yourself on a spectrum from everyday nervousness to Social Anxiety Disorder. They then discuss evidence-based approaches to working with social anxiety like exposure therapy, cognitive defusion, and mindfulness techniques. Whether you experience feelings of anxiety or are trying to understand a friend who does, this episode will help you feel more confident and connected.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What is social anxiety?
7:10: Where does social anxiety come from?
13:40: Feeling worthy, and other social factors
17:00: Nature vs. nurture
24:15: Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and comorbid diagnoses
29:50: Exposure therapy, and how to practice it safely
42:00: Positive reinforcement, and responding to ruminative thoughts
55:45: Widening our view, and taking in the good
1:03:15: Talking with younger parts, and self-compassion
1:10:15: Normalizing anxiety
1:11:35: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enOctober 07, 2024
Feed Drop: Exploring the Benefits of Peer-Based and Family Therapy - Turning Points Podcast
In our first feed drop, we’re sharing the first episode of Season 4 of the Turning Points Podcast. The host of Turning Points is therapist Frantzces Lys, and in this episode she explores family and peer-based approaches to therapy.
Frantzces is joined by two guests, first Charles Daniels, the CEO and co-founder of Fathers’ Uplift, an organization that provides therapy, coaching, and advocacy for fathers. And second, Gina Connor, a clinical social worker who specializes treating eating disorders, trauma, anxiety, and life transitions through individual and group therapy.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
5:00: First guest - Charles Daniels
23:10: Second guest - Gina Connor
33:30: Recap
I hope you enjoy this episode of the Turning Points podcast. Subscribe here: https://sponsored.bostonglobe.com/point32health/turning-points/
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enOctober 02, 2024
The Dark Triad: Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People
Dr. Rick and Forrest unpack the "Dark Triad" of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy - and explore how these traits can manifest in everyday relationships. They talk about how individuals with these tendencies use charm and manipulation to control situations and people, and offer practical strategies for identifying these traits in others. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, protect yourself from manipulation, and develop a thoughtful, empathetic approach when navigating relationships with those who exhibit these challenging behaviors. The episode also explores self-care in difficult dynamics, the ethical considerations in labeling others, and how to manage unavoidable interactions with people who display these traits. It’s essential listening for anyone who has encountered toxic behavior, and wants to learn how to deal with it more effectively.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimers
3:50: The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Sociopathy
7:40: Charisma, privilege, and why some people get away with antisocial behavior
16:10: Sensitivity to criticism, viewing people as means to ends, and other evidence
22:35: Being careful about labeling people
28:50: Developing awareness, and grieving reality
33:10: Boundaries and safety
38:00: Limiting the scope of the relationship
42:20: How to break through the “fuzz” in communication
49:25: Transference, and when it’s safe to confront people
55:15: Self-care in unavoidable situations
59:15: When you notice these tendencies in yourself
1:02:10: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enSeptember 30, 2024
How to Build a Securely Attached Relationship with Julie Menanno
Forrest sits down with marriage and family therapist Julie Menanno to explore one of the most crucial aspects of healthy relationships: secure attachment. They discuss the impact of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns, and provide practical advice on identifying and communicating attachment needs, fostering emotional safety, and addressing the common anxious-avoidant partner dynamic. Julie highlights the importance of emotional validation and recommends strategies for communicating from the heart. Forrest and Julie then talk about what we can learn from how securely attached couples navigate conflict and repair.
This episode is perfect for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: Attachment styles and emotional safety
4:30: Identifying and meeting attachment needs
12:45: How attachment styles shape our relationships
19:30: The “anxious-avoidant” partner dynamic
26:55: Communicating from the heart
32:40: Emotional validation
35:55: Conflict and repair in a securely attached relationship
44:55: How a therapist manages escalation and overwhelm
50:35: The power of choice in relationships
56:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enSeptember 23, 2024
Social Anxiety, Self-Advocacy, and Too Much Self-Help: September Mailbag
Dr. Rick and Forrest dive into the mailbag, and answer questions from listeners focused on working with anxiety in ourselves and our relationships. They start with a question that’s essential to the podcast as a whole: is it possible to be too preoccupied with personal growth? Rick talks about how to manage the desire for approval, offering strategies to foster self-acceptance and healthier self-validation, before Forrest shares his own journey with finding the right amount of try-hard. They then discuss how to create more collaborative decisions in relationships. Additional topics include self-motivation and peak performance, working with diverse needs, and diagnostic “scope creep.”
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Am I too preoccupied with self-help and personal growth?
11:20: How do I address my unquenchable thirst for approval?
27:15: How can I tell if I’m actually doing my best?
36:40: How do I advocate for more collaborative decision making with my partner?
54:15: How does the brain’s natural pursuit of novelty balance with its desire for safety?
1:03:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enSeptember 16, 2024
Cognitive Bypassing, Traumatic Experiences, and Managing Triggers with Simone Saunders
Forrest dives into cognitive bypassing - a common strategy many of us use to avoid feeling difficult emotions - with trauma therapist Simone Saunders. Simone and Forrest discuss the connection between cognitive bypassing and trauma before exploring somatic tools that can help us avoid an endless cycle of overthinking, and fully process our experiences. They focus on the “freeze” and “fawn” stress responses, and talk about how these responses can impact our relationships and everyday interactions. The conversation widens from there to include topics like letting go of unhealthy relationships, navigating the shame that can come with self-awareness, working through triggers, finding more agency, and changing our models of conflict.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: What’s cognitive bypassing?
5:55: Somatic approaches, and widening the window of tolerance
18:10: The freeze and fawn responses
22:25: Grieving letting go of unhealthy relationships
26:20: Shame, the problem with self-awareness, and identifying your values
35:35: How to move through “first contact” with our triggers
38:05: Feeling connected to others
41:55: Agency, and being embodied in a relationship
47:30: Changing how we see conflict
51:15: Grief as self-awareness, and expressing ourselves
57:25: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enSeptember 09, 2024
Navigating Parenthood: What Every Dad Needs to Know
In this special conversation, Forrest explores what it means to be a good father with his dad, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson. They discuss the joys, challenges, and unexpected lessons of parenthood, starting with the advice Rick would have given himself. Rick and Forrest tackle the mental health challenges new parents face, focusing particularly on maintaining a strong relationship between partners. They get real about their relationship, and Rick offers practical strategies for "resetting" with your partner during stressful times.
They then talk about different approaches to parenting, and how to find a healthy balance of authority, aspiration, and nurturance. Whether you’re navigating the path of parenthood, reflecting on your relationship with your own parents, or just looking to gain some insight into the father-son dynamic, this episode has something for everyone.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Did becoming a dad change Rick’s relationship with his parents?
5:05: What advice would Rick give a younger version of himself?
8:45: Biological stressors, and the mental health challenges of young parents
17:00: Maintaining closeness with your children while working
21:40: How to “reset” with your partner
32:15: Savoring the good times
35:35: Authority, aspiration, and nurturance
44:30: Parenting the child you have, and emotional regulation
51:10: Recognizing that kids are not tiny adults
57:55: Staying consistent
1:00:30: How to practice for becoming a parent
1:03:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enSeptember 02, 2024
How to Live in an Anxious World: Uncertainty, Agency, and Resilience
In this timely episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest tackle the anxiety and uncertainty so many are feeling about the state of today’s world. They discuss why everything feels so overwhelming right now, share practical ways to manage those emotions, and explore how we can stay grounded, take ownership of what we can control, and maintain a sense of connection with others. Topics include managing uncertainty, wise skepticism, developing agency, accepting impermanence, and understanding grief as a deep form of love and connection. Whether you're feeling anxious about global events or just navigating daily life, this episode offers practical advice for building resilience.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Why do things feel so terrifying?
11:45: A typical response to the state of the world
17:40: Recognizing how much uncertainty there is
25:35: Feeling grounded in your personal integrity
32:30: Taking ownership of what you are able to contribute
39:00: Our felt sense of connection with others
44:20: Accepting impermanence
49:00: Grief as a form of love and connection
54:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enAugust 26, 2024
Embracing Perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler
Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals.
About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Defining perfectionism
6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving
12:40: The five types of perfectionists
21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short
28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism
34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work
38:10: The difference between power and control
44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection
49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships
54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success
1:07:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enAugust 19, 2024
The Shadow: Individuation, Wholeness, and Becoming Your True Self
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the most interesting concepts in psychology: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. The shadow includes the “the things a person has no wish to be,” the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves that we deny or ignore. Facing those parts can be difficult, but becoming aware of the shadow, accepting it, and integrating it allows us to embrace all of who we are.
They start by explaining what the shadow is, where it comes from, and why it’s valuable. Rick shares some examples of shadow material, what we lose by leaving them behind, and how we can start reintegrating them. Forrest talks about modern approaches to shadow work, and viewing the shadow through a less dualistic lens. They then map out the “typical” path of what is usually a highly individualized process.
Hope you enjoy it!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Defining the shadow - things we leave out, or don’t care to know
4:30: Individuation
12:05: Some examples of shadow material
18:35: What do we lose by not incorporating the shadow?
23:10: Agency, creativity, authenticity, and unrecognized capabilities
26:50: Patience, knowing your why, inner refuge, and befriending parts
32:00: Acceptance, awareness of projection, and being in dialog with our shadow
38:10: Deliberate practice, stepping into the wild, and showing curiosity
46:25: The golden shadow, and accepting impulses vs. acting on them
55:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
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Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
enAugust 12, 2024