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    Something Scary Happened the Other Day, and I Wanted to Talk About It With You (and a PhD Trauma Researcher)

    Host witnessed a tragic accident and reached out to Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald, who shared advice on trauma; he helped unpack the experience with compassion and clarity in real-time while explaining what trauma really is and how to heal from it.

    enAugust 14, 2023
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    What is Mel Robbins' experience with witnessing a tragedy?
    How does vicarious traumatization affect individuals differently?
    What proactive steps can help process traumatic experiences?
    Why is shame a barrier to trauma integration?
    How can telling one's story assist in processing trauma?

    • Supporting Yourself and Others in Tragic TimesIt is crucial to seek support and tools to navigate the complex emotions that arise when witnessing a tragedy. Sharing experiences and finding professional help can aid in processing traumatic events.

      Supporting yourself and others when witnessing a tragedy is crucial. Mel Robbins shares her personal experience of witnessing a horrible tragedy and emphasizes the need to discuss this important topic. She highlights the complexities of dealing with emotions such as guilt, fear, sadness, and grief in such situations. By sharing her conversations with friends and family, she reveals that many people have their own stories of witnessing tragedies. Mel emphasizes the importance of seeking support and tools to process traumatic experiences, and shares her own experience of finding help from trauma expert Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald. This conversation acts as a resource for listeners to understand and navigate their own feelings when faced with similar situations.

    • Taking Action in Emergencies: A Lesson in Proactive ResponsivenessIn crisis situations, prompt action, clear communication, and resourcefulness can save lives. Be proactive, stay calm, and utilize visual cues to help guide responders towards the necessary help and support.

      When faced with a potential emergency situation, it is important to take immediate action and seek help. Mel Robbins demonstrated her first responder instinct by calling 911 multiple times to report a missing swimmer. She persisted even when she initially couldn't get through and remained calm yet assertive in directing the dispatcher to relay vital information to the police boats. She used visual cues, such as waving a red and white towel, to help guide the rescuers towards the swimmer's location. This conversation highlights the significance of being proactive and resourceful in times of crisis, as quick and effective communication can make a crucial difference in ensuring the safety and well-being of others.

    • The Importance of Processing Traumatic ExperiencesProcessing traumatic experiences is crucial for emotional healing and understanding. Seek support from professionals to navigate the conflicting feelings that arise and debunk misconceptions about trauma.

      Processing traumatic experiences is crucial for emotional healing and understanding. Mel Robbins shares her firsthand account of witnessing a search and recovery mission unfold and the overwhelming emotions that followed. Through her story, she emphasizes the importance of talking about traumatic events to make sense of the story and process the conflicting feelings that arise. Mel's experience highlights the impact that witnessing a traumatic event can have on an individual, even if they are not directly involved. She emphasizes the need to seek support from professionals, such as therapists and trauma specialists, to navigate these emotions effectively. This conversation underscores the significance of understanding how our brains and nervous systems process trauma and the misconceptions surrounding the subject.

    • Understanding and Addressing Vicarious TraumatizationWitnessing traumatic events can have lasting effects on our mental health. By seeking professional help and understanding how trauma affects the brain, we can process these experiences and regain control over our emotions.

      Witnessing a traumatic event can be just as traumatic as experiencing it firsthand. We often overlook the fact that vicarious traumatization is a real thing. Even hearing graphic details repeatedly can be traumatic. When we witness something traumatic, our brain undergoes a process of filing away the memories. In normal events, memories are filed into a file room in the brain called the hippocampus. However, in sufficiently overwhelming events, this filing process becomes disrupted. The memories may not get properly organized, leading to triggers and reoccurring negative emotions. Thankfully, there are proactive steps we can take to process these experiences in a healthy way. By understanding the neurological aspects of trauma and seeking professional guidance, we can help these memories find their place in our minds and the story of our lives.

    • The brain's response to overwhelming events and the impact on memory organization.Traumatic experiences can disrupt the brain's ability to properly store and organize memories, leading to fragmented files and difficulty in making sense of overwhelming events.

      Our brain has a natural ability to file away memories and access them when needed. In normal events, our brain maintains homeostasis and files the memories properly and in an organized fashion. This allows us to easily retrieve and share these memories, experiencing the narrative content and associated emotions. However, in overwhelming or traumatic situations, our brain prioritizes the threat and the file room workers, responsible for organizing memories, are needed elsewhere. As a result, we are left with fragmented files, lacking narrative content and meaning. These fragmented files can be triggered by similar experiences and prompt our brain to organize them again. Understanding this process can help us better comprehend trauma triggers and how our brain tries to help us process and make sense of overwhelming events.

    • Trauma Responses and Healing: Understanding, Integrating, and Connecting with OthersTrauma responses are a natural part of our survival instinct, and by integrating and understanding them, we can heal from trauma and foster empathy and compassion for others.

      Trauma responses are initially adaptive and designed to help us survive. However, over time, they can become maladaptive and trigger re-traumatization. Understanding that trauma responses are a natural part of our survival instinct can help remove the layer of shame often associated with experiencing trauma. Integration is the crucial step in healing from trauma, where we organize and put away the fragmented file folders in our mind so they resemble other memories and do not continuously trigger us. The conversation also highlights the conflicted emotions that arise when dealing with traumatic experiences, even if we are not directly involved. It reminds us that everyone has experienced trauma in their lives, emphasizing the importance of empathy and compassion.

    • Integrating Traumatic Incidents: Creating a Coherent Narrative and Engaging Multiple Modalities for Balance and Healing.Creating a coherent narrative and engaging in multiple modalities, such as EMDR and narrative therapy, can help integrate traumatic incidents and restore balance to the brain. Alternative medicines may also assist in turning off the fear center for facilitation of integration.

      Integrating a traumatic incident into our lives requires creating a coherent narrative of the event, filled with emotional content and meaning tags. To achieve integration, it is important to engage in multiple modalities rather than seeking a quick fix. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprioritizing) can help short circuit the fear center and restore balance to the brain, while narrative therapy provides a helpful approach. Alternative medicines like Psilocybin or M D M A are also used to turn off the fear center and facilitate integration. It is worth noting that different individuals may respond differently to traumatic events, and some may not be as triggered as others.

    • Understanding Trauma Responses and Their ImpactTrauma responses can vary from person to person, and it is crucial to support individuals in processing their emotions rather than labeling the event itself as traumatic.

      Individuals can have different trauma responses to the same event due to the fragmentation of file folders in their memory. This means that the symptoms and emotions that follow a traumatic event can look very different, even for people who experienced the exact same thing. In the past, this difference in responses was used to shame individuals and question their mental health. However, it is now understood that the fragmented files can create various emotional reactions, such as heightened distress or complete shutdown. It is important to recognize that both active emotional responses and lack of emotional content can be indicators of trauma. Immediate integration of the memory through narrative therapy or assigning meaning can significantly lower the likelihood of developing PTSD. Hence, the focus should be on supporting individuals and their processing of the event, rather than solely categorizing the event itself as traumatic.

    • Redefining Trauma and its Impact on IndividualsTrauma is not solely determined by the severity of an event, but rather by the emotional experience and lack of support. It is important to recognize and manage symptoms of intrusion to move towards healing and integration.

      Trauma is not determined by the objective severity of an event, but rather by the individual's emotional experience and the lack of a supportive environment to process it. Mary Catherine redefines trauma as any event that leads to unbearable emotions without a relational home. This implies that traumatic events can vary for different individuals, and the level of support required to heal and integrate the memory can vary as well. Feeling guilt or shame for experiencing trauma is a misplaced reaction, as our nervous system indicates the need for intervention and care. To address the repeated playback of traumatic incidents in the mind, it is crucial to recognize and manage the symptoms of intrusion, such as intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and repeated behaviors.

    • Integrating Traumatic Memories: Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts and Emotions for Healing and Growth.By acknowledging, understanding, and integrating traumatic memories, we can reduce their intensity and move beyond them, ultimately finding healing and growth in our own personal narratives.

      Integrating traumatic memories can help in dealing with intrusive thoughts and emotions. Mary Catherine emphasizes the importance of stopping the intrusion by acknowledging and integrating the memory. Shame acts as a major barrier to this integration process and needs to be addressed. Instead of shaming ourselves, we should focus on understanding and meeting the needs of our trauma response. By assigning meaning to the event and fitting it into our larger narrative, we can reduce the intensity of intrusive memories. Mel Robbins shares her own experience of integrating a traumatic event by repeatedly telling her story and allowing herself to feel the associated emotions. This conversation highlights the power of processing trauma and moving beyond it.

    • Managing Emotional Trauma: Steps to Healing and GrowthRecognize the impact of emotional trauma, separate from shame and visualize putting it away, construct a coherent narrative, seek support, and understand trauma response as a natural survival mechanism.

      Dealing with emotional trauma requires recognizing its impact and taking proactive steps to manage it. One important step is to separate oneself from the shame associated with the trauma by visualizing it being put away in a box, temporarily removing its influence. Additionally, it is crucial to construct a coherent narrative of the traumatic event, recounting it as if telling someone who wasn't present. This helps to process and make sense of the experience. Connecting the narrative with the associated emotions allows for a deeper understanding of their significance and how they relate to one's life story. Seeking support from someone attuned to your emotions can provide validation and aid in placing these emotional fragments in their proper place. Lastly, realizing that experiencing a trauma response does not mean being broken, but rather understanding it as a natural survival mechanism. Taking control over one's nervous system and working with the trauma response is possible.

    • Embracing Triggers and Emotions in Trauma HealingProcessing emotions connected to triggers is crucial for integrating traumatic experiences and preventing ongoing retriggering and retraumatization. Support and sharing stories can facilitate healing.

      Trauma healing requires acknowledging and addressing triggers, as well as integrating the associated emotions. Triggers can be subconscious and may indicate buried memories in need of organization. Rather than avoiding triggers, they should be seen as opportunities for growth. Moreover, the goal of not feeling anything is unrealistic, as our memory files are designed to contain emotional content for a reason. To fully integrate traumatic experiences, it is necessary to process the emotions connected to them. Failure to do so may result in ongoing re-triggering and retraumatization. By sharing our stories and supporting one another, we can help each other heal and navigate our individual journeys.

    • The Power of Understanding and Compassion in Healing from TraumaTrauma responses show resilience, not brokenness. By embracing our experiences with compassion, shedding shame, and seeking support, we can heal and create a better life for ourselves and those around us.

      Trauma responses are not a sign of brokenness, but rather proof of our survival. Experiencing trauma and its corresponding symptoms does not mean that we are flawed or damaged. In fact, it signifies our resilience and strength. By recognizing this and starting from a place of understanding and compassion, healing becomes possible. It is important to integrate the traumatic experiences into the story of our lives in a healthier way, shedding any shame and conflict associated with them. Additionally, sharing knowledge and resources on trauma can help not only ourselves but also those we care about. Remember, you are loved and capable of creating a better life. Take care and seek professional advice when needed.

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