Someone Keeps Pulling Money Out of His Bank Account - Safety Third 122
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January 30, 2025
TLDR: Discussion between John and Jane about the impact of social media on mental health, with insights from their personal experiences.

In this episode of the Safety Third podcast, the hosts dive deep into the realm of banking scams, identity theft, and the often complicated measures that financial institutions take to prevent fraud. The conversation centers around a listener's harrowing experience with a phone scam designed to compromise his bank account.
Key Takeaways
1. Recognizing Scams
- Scammers often use spoofed phone numbers to create legitimacy, making calls appear as if they are from the bank itself.
- A red flag during the discussion was when the supposed bank employee asked for confirmation of personal information and attempted to generate a new banking password while on the call.
2. Best Practices for Protecting Yourself
- Always verify: If you receive a call from your bank, hang up and call back using the number provided on your bank statement or the bank’s official website. This ensures you are speaking to a legitimate representative.
- Watch for pressure tactics: Scammers often push for quick responses or solutions, creating a sense of urgency.
- Never share sensitive information: Real bank representatives will not ask for your password or ask you to send money to yourself to secure your account.
3. Scamming Techniques
- The hosts discuss the clever methods used by modern scammers, which include impersonating bank representatives and providing plausible explanations to gain the victim's trust.
- They highlighted an alarming case where scammers stole over $250 million in Bitcoin through a sophisticated multi-directional calling system, demonstrating how these hustlers carefully engineer their attacks.
4. Technical Insights on Security
- Discussion also ensued regarding how banks secure user information. The hosts emphasized that good banking practices should involve hashing passwords rather than storing them outright.
- There was also talk about how cybersecurity strategies are often undermined by human error, underlining the importance of employee training in financial institutions.
Practical Applications
- Manage your accounts vigilantly: Regularly check bank statements and account transactions. Use alerts or notifications to monitor your account's activity.
- Educate yourself and others: Share knowledge about common scams and fraudulent methods, and encourage others to adopt the suggested safeguards.
Conclusion
In a world where scams are increasingly sophisticated, knowledge and vigilance are key. This episode serves as an important reminder that securing your financial information starts with understanding potential threats and taking proactive measures to protect yourself. By sharing personal anecdotes and expert insights, the hosts provide listeners with valuable lessons on maintaining their financial safety.
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There's some transactions that happened today. I don't want to know. We want to know if you're, uh, there was you and the caller ID, the bank is RBC and the caller ID was RBC prevention, which is like, which is what the bank calls you on. And it's a 1 1 800 something number. So I was like, okay, it seems kind of legit.
probably one digit off from the actual number. Nobody showed up with actual text on it. Well, yeah, you can spoof that. How? How? Then it shouldn't fucking show anything. You can spoof. I mean, you can like hijacks him. Yeah. Yeah. But you can spoof color idea. There's a website that I remember. I somehow did it. I called people and pretended on somebody else. We have, we have, you know what? Fuck me. You know what? Keep going.
I can't believe this is the whole problem. Basically, he was like, oh, do you buy this? Did you buy that? And I was like, no. And he's like, also, this morning, we see that your limit was increased to like 10,000. And he's like, did you do that? And I was like, no, I haven't even logged under the bank today. I buy, I buy appliances. Yeah. Who decreased it? Who decreased it?
Um, no, so basically I was like, that wasn't me because I didn't log on. He's like, okay. And it sounded like he was wrapping up. He was like, Oh, okay. Like if that's not you, then we'll send you and he confirmed my address. He was like, is that a good address to send that to? Which is like.
And he had he had an email too. So it's like probably just some invoice or something he had just like that had an email and an address on it. And a phone number. So that's like easy. But I was like, okay, it's fine. And then I was wrapping up. That's why I kept saying one minute because I thought he was just going to go, Oh, you're going to get new debit card. And that's it.
Yeah, but then he was like, Oh, okay. So that's when the scam part started kicking in. Cause he was like, and he probably has no idea what he said wrong. Cause I just didn't even say I was going up by just like, you call me back. What? Exactly. That's just like a double confirmation that it's a scammer.
But basically he was like, oh, your limit, we're going to put a freeze on your account, right? And I'm like, OK, that's no, but I'm like, that's normal. If there's like we've had we had fraud recently and they froze our account. So I'm like, that's fine. But I know with banks, you don't have to do anything, right? They just do everything. So the guy said he was like, Oh, and on our side, this is my first thought. He's like, um, and when we freeze your account, he was like, we're going to generate you a new password. And I'll give that to you. And I'm like,
Ain't no way an RBC a bank employee just sees my banking password. That's like not a thing. So that's when I was first like, that's a scam. And so I was like, okay, I'll let him say it. So he's like, I'll give you the password. So I typed it out. And then he goes, okay, your account is still temporarily active. He's like, but to lower your limit from 10,000 and to help with the freeze, you're going to need to send money to yourself.
And I'm like, OK, this does not sound like the fuck. The fuck is completely where is it? Either my bank is completely non-functional or the problem is that a lot of businesses, a lot of infrastructure. Yeah. Like, have you ever gone to like a AT&T store and you have a problem? Yeah. What do they do? What do they do? They take your phone to the back? No, no, even worse. They'll like get on the phone. They like, they have to call like the corporate.
So now you have an employee in the store. Everyone has trained you to expect that the systems are so shitty that a bank employee might actually treat you like this because they don't have any access to a system.
I agree, but my, my general thing was I remember, uh, when a bunch of passwords years ago is leaked from a website and there was like, I think it was on Reddit or something. People were going off about this whole leak. Yeah. And one guy was like, if you ever sign up for a website and you know what tells you your username is, or you say recover password. If it ever tells you what your password is, they're like, yeah.
bad news. So it's like any good system, nobody at the company can ever tell you what your password is if they wanted to. They don't store your password. They store a hash. And so you like, yeah, you give them a string of text. It does some math. And then it gives a result. And that is a very unique result. And then they store the result. And so when you type your password in, yeah, it sends the hash. They get the result. They compare the result. And so there's no like, there's, you can't like it.
If they get hacked, yeah, whatever. Why couldn't you just intercept the hat? They just get trash. Sorry. Where's the hash converted on your end or on their end? It might be dynamic. There's like, I don't know exactly how it works. I mean, it just crib. It's just like, you know, there's somebody with a job who figures this all out.
I think it might change from time to time. It's like a rolling code kind of thing. I'm not actually exactly sure how it works. It could even be like real time as well. I don't know. But I can guarantee you banks do not.
Banks don't just have their employees generate passwords and give them out to like people like that's you're literally just asking for mass levels of criminality. No, they are though. That's the thing is they fucking do this shit. And then people that people will never tell you what your password is. Well, your average user is so fucking stupid that the IT department can't do anything to stop them from being stupid.
Like they literally cannot stop their employees from being like the number one source of fraud in the company. Like imagine we were talking about this earlier. Like, like, uh, okay. So you've got, you've got an employee, you've got, you spend a hundred million dollars on your IT infrastructure. You have an employee that opens an email that says, click here for $20 gift card from their boss. They click it, compromises the entire company's server. Do you know what, do you know what high security facilities do? They, they don't let you open outside links.
No, they fucking, there's no internet. Oh, well, yeah. There's no, there are rooms that are completely sealed off from any fucking data connection. I mean, I have friends that have work phones and, and home phones. So they have to turn in their personal cell phone when they go to work and then they get their work phone. Yeah. Yeah. Like you cannot, I mean, stop the weakest link, which is the absolute morons using your technology.
Well, and also generally like the weakest link at any, um, at any level, it's just people, like you can have all your technology limits and everything, you know, to protect things, but just at the end of the day, people are going to just spill secrets as well. So like one other thing that you can do is you just, that's why again, the RBC employee will never know your password because you're, you just don't want to have that liability. Yeah. Like as you go down, there's less info that you get.
I was so close to being scammed almost the exact same way as you Nigel and I only realized it at the last second. So I got a call from like Chase customer support and they said like, Oh, somebody's been trying to set up like an employee payment account under like with your account and they've been paying themselves money. Um, and we've stopped it, but we need you to go update your settings on the employee payment page or something like this.
And I'm like, oh, okay. So I log into the website and they're like, okay, so what you need to do is like create a new, you have to create a master account and then give it permission, like, you know, give it admin permission or something like that. And then only you control that account. So, so you need permission from this account to create new accounts.
And I'm like, like, OK, whatever, sure. And so I ended up doing this. And then he's like, OK, now you need to enter. Like, it's asking for a code. So put this code in for the account. Because when you create, like, I don't know, create a new employee or a new account, what it was actually doing was like a Bluetooth pairing code. So it's like, he had a code for his bank account. And if I put that code into the
pay your account, he would have had control of that account basically. And it said like, do not enter codes from anybody like that you are not trying to give money to.
And like in big letters right there, it's like, do not enter codes unless you are trying to send this person money. What if they just made the whole system more confusing and convoluted and fucking easy cause your phone. It does email. It does 100 different things. So when a scammer gets in, they can tell you, God damn it. So he's telling me I'm creating like an admin account and then like,
What I was actually doing was creating a new, a new employee and I was putting his payment code in there and then he would have been able to just like take money out or something. Oh my God. Yeah. And then I'm like, I think so. How, how was the guy on the phone though? Like I was going to ask, was he, did he see normal or was he kind of pushy?
Uh, he was, he was pushy, which felt weird. And he didn't seem like super professional. You know, he's like, hi, I'm Chase fraud prevention and employee number 7652 is my badge. And before this conversation goes any further. Yeah. There is only one rule. Everybody listening to this. If you're bank in the air quotes, if your bank calls you.
Tell them you will hang up and call them back. You call your bank back through a trusted source of that fucking bank. The number on the back of your card or the website. Do not talk about fucking anything if they called you first. What happens if the guy who called you got to the back of your card and changed the number? Yeah. I think at that point, you just accept your fate in fucking this game.
your life is already fully under their control. You can't do anything. I found a credit card on the ground the other day, right? That's right free money. Yeah. And I call it was Chase Bank. I call Chase Bank and I say, I found this credit card. What do you want me to do with it? Like give me, give us the number, give us to this. And they're like, oh, and what is your first and last name? And I was like, apps are fucking lutely not. And I'm going to give you my first and last name. I will give you the numbers on the card and I will ask you what you want me to do with it.
Yeah, I could the fucking audacity to ask me for my fucking first and last name. Are you going to send me a gift card? Like, are you? Are you think? Yeah, what goddamn world am I going to want my social to assholes? Yeah, what's your card number two? You know, every time you call them, they're like, please enter your card number, your account number.
Dude, and I, you know, what I want to say is like what Will just said, my general rule about not getting scammed is like even through email and stuff, if you get an email from like PayPal and it says your account is weird. John, how are you? You never follow a single link. Oh, that window. Yeah.
You just never follow a single link from any email. You just go to the website separately, log in, and if there's no notification, then it's not a problem. Or, like you said, you call back your bank or just tell them, hey, I'm going to go into the bank. And if they ever tell you... Not to. Oh, no, no, no. We can just do it over the phone. Then you know there's a problem. And if they're an employee, they'll be like, oh, yeah. Okay. If you go to the bank, you'll get this sorted. Yeah. If you're going to do that now, then that saves me time. Like, boom, solved.
The, the bank employee, if you say you're going to call back, like they will never fight you on it. They'll tell you like, oh, that's smart. Yeah. Which I, I yelled at Chase once because they, they fucking did, they did exactly the thing that gives scammers the opportunity to scam you or they, they're the behavior on the phone where they call you and it's like stop calling me. Like, tell me to call back.
Yeah, tell me to go into a brand, a local branch. Yeah. My mom, my mom was so paranoid about scams though. So yeah, I think it was the bank who called her and my mom's like, my mom is on her like paranoia arc. She was like, cause she kind of got some by some people. So the bank called her and she's like, how do I know you're the bank? And they're like, uh, well, I mean, then they, whatever, they give her some info. And I was like, well, I want to call back. And she's like, I mean, the problem is you.
can't, she goes, our department, you can't call back. I'm on my fucking problem. Yeah. Yeah. Like, actually like that, you see that right now. That's the problem. That's the thing that lets people fall for fucking scams. But it was so fun. I was like, well, how do I, how do I know you're not scamming me now? They fucking spend on fraud prevention and they're training people to fall for fucking scams.
The thing that's funny though is my mom's like, she thought she felt that the girl was legit because she was unlike scammers. She's like zero percent pushy. Cause mom's like, well, how do I know you're not the scammers? She's like, honestly, you don't. She's like, I, she's like, I don't know. She's like, I don't know how to prove this to you. And then my mom.
My mom though was like, can I just go into the bank? And then she's like, yeah, that could work. Do you feel better doing that just going to the banks? So my mom was like, she noticed the difference between scam callers, how they're always trying to talk you out of that, whereas the actual bank person, I think even said, oh, I'm so and so, you might be able to call through whatever, get forwarded through by calling this other department. I think my mom did that and it worked.
But it just ended up being that there's zero pushiness versus like that guy on the phone. I said, he's like, Oh, do you have? Is this a good time? Do you have a minute? And I was like, I have literally a minute. Actually, no, sorry. I said, at first, no, this isn't a good time because what we have to talk about this. And I was like, wait, so why do you even ask me? And then when I said, I only have one minute, it became like much more dire for him. Yeah.
I have, well, there's, I got scam. Well, I'm not sure I can share this story. The one story I can't, story I can share is I think when I was making the AdSense account for the podcast.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They happen to a lot of YouTubers. There's a very strict rule for whatever reason, in AdSense, where you can only have one AdSense account. So the podcast is its own business. And so it can have its own AdSense account. Or so I thought, right? Because it's like, I have an AdSense account. Yeah. The podcast has an AdSense account. But it's only one e-mail address or something, right? It's like per person. Per person. Oh, it's per person. It's per entity. Okay.
But when you don't have a business, it's like, oh, it's per person. So I made an AdSense account, and I swear to God, the next fucking day. Before anything had been confirmed, the AdSense sometimes takes a second. It was like, I got a weird message in like Google Hangouts. You'd be like popped up. Yeah, and you're in box. In my inbox.
And it was like, I got that too, actually. Right. It's not an email. It's like something weirder than that. And it's like, oh, we've like, you have multiple assets accounts or something. Yeah. Right. Like you, we've determined you have multiple AdSense accounts, which is not as allowed. So we're going to terminate your AdSense account. And I was like, oh, fuck. What did I do? Oh, yeah. The only clue. I was like, I was, I was spiraling with that. I was like, what the fuck is it going to do? It says the fact that it came through Google Hangouts is really weird. But I'm like, it knows that I have two AdSense accounts and I just made it.
Like it was two, it was like, it was like the stars aligned and I could see God's asshole. Yeah, because a lot of other YouTubers got that message and they're like, what is this stupid message? Like whatever. And then you have me who literally just opened a second AdSense account. And so like the only thing,
only thing that that was like even remotely a hint was that it was to a weird email address. Like the hangout was targeted towards, it might have been like the public email address at that time, which is like, it was like, it was like, how did it, because I don't use that one when I like talk to YouTube and I don't use that one for logging in. And so I'm like, how did this get here? Like, where did this come from? Like, whatever.
So I messaged, and there's those things, like I messaged somebody at YouTube that I know. And I was like, hey, here's this thing. What is this? But like I had, that was the closest I have ever been to a knee-jerk reaction where I was like ready to like click on something. Oh yeah. And that was like a huge eye-opener for me. I was like, we realize you put somebody, you put the right person at the right time in this like super specific situation, you will nail like even 0.01% of people.
And that's enough if you're sending out enough of these messages. Yeah. Like it's so easy to get scanned. So what was this scam? They end up taking control of your ad sense and get your pants. It's like a fishing thing probably where they, you know, overall it's like they have you enter a password and then they know that then they can use it. I never got that far. Like I never even responded to it, but like it's well, I did respond after the fact, but like it spiraled.
like the most emotional I've ever gotten about a scam. Yeah. And I, before even saying anything to the scammer, I immediately went to a YouTube employee, which like not a lot of people can. It's something they'd have to like message support and support would be like, we have no idea what you're talking about.
And then they'd be like, oh, well, AdSense is a different part of Google. So you got to talk to somebody else. And now you start entering the like, why these scams work at all. Yeah, so you got the word out probably about that scam pretty early. Do that account got terminated in like an hour after they send a message to me? Yeah. And other people probably, you know, if you have to go through the normal support channels, good luck. It might be a couple days. It might be days. Yeah. And they would probably tell you something like, oh, you have like, I've had that circle with AdSense before where it's like, oh, no, sorry, like that's it. We're going to have to have to talk to somebody else. Oh, you know what they would say? They would say like,
Um, yes, it is true. You're not allowed to have more than one ad since account at a time. Thank you. Please see this, this support page on our website. That's dude. I Well, what I wanted to say though is that, um, I know there was another for some percent. I think it was someone who worked with Mark Rober. He got duped by the scam and he made a video about it.
Oh, yeah. He's like an anti-scammer guy, but then- Oh, yeah, yeah. Just like you. He just happened to mess with AdSense, and the day he got that email, he was like, okay, well, that makes sense. And I think, if I vaguely recall, that was kind of like the premise of the video is like, my existence is to fight scammers, but the stars aligned, and it made sense in that moment. So even though I'm like vigilant, I still got scammed. Yeah.
That's what anyone who says that if you fall first came like that you're stupid like you are so fucking wrong. As long as you're super skeptical because I got that again I didn't have like that moment with the AdSense stuff but I got the message and it was funny because like what I always do when I get an email is you check like the server or whatever that it went through and then the email that sent it.
and the email was like YT support at like creator-partner.com or something. So all I did was I highlighted the domain, hit enter, and it was just like said it was an unregistered domain. And I'm like, okay, garbage, and I just moved on. I had that exact same thing happen before where it's like, but the domains exist under Google. It's kind of like how,
If you were to, if it's what they screw with you sometimes, it would be like creator or whatever, like support at, and it would be creator.google.com, that's probably real, but if it's google.creator.com, it's not real because the domain is creator.com and they just swap the words. Yeah, but there are some weird ones where it's like, you know, Google dash form xyz297.com. Yeah.
Or something, you know, and then you try going to that and it's like you want to have authorized to the authorization to view this page. But if you click on it from the link they sent you, then you do have authorization. So it's like people are conditioned to, I don't know, I don't believe that that's a problem. I'll just ignore things.
I don't, my general thing again is like what Will said, if before I make any change, I will get confirmation from somebody who knows, you know, kind of what they're doing. And even like on the AdSense thing, if you log in, I'm like, for sure, there's a warning on your account. There's no way their main system is- Oh, they would absolutely not fucking display anything.
then it's done. I'm saying, if you log into AdSense and there's no warnings, I go, you're like, it could still be, it could go anyway because nobody fucking makes any of this shit. No, no, no, no. I just, I just, I toss it out of my brain. I go, you don't have that. Yeah. I just, like, for example, like the, the reason why, yeah, it's like, I think it was PayPal. I got a scam email. This was years ago. And I didn't click on it. It was like, oh, all these, whatever, something's flagged. So I just log into PayPal, didn't see any alerts. Oh.
Dude, my PayPal's always flagged. I always have to relink my bank accounts, get two FA codes to type in. Wait, is that actually real or are you getting scammed every day?
I don't even know at this point. I don't even know. Scammed me too many times on PayPal. I don't even like going on there anymore because every time I. Did you hear about the big one? No. The big scam recently. No. So. Oh, I thought that was a set up for a joke. I know. Yeah. The big landline.
No, you're like the big one. I thought it was just gonna be a one line. No, no, no. This is a few lines, a couple dozen lines to this one. Okay. So there was recently a group of people that sold $250 million worth of Bitcoin from... Oh! Yeah, I heard about that. From this one big investor in Binance.
And how they were able to do it was they had fake numbers with fake caller IDs, and they hit this guy from multiple directions at a time saying that his account was compromised. So Google support saying your emails have been compromised. Binance support saying that your accounts have been compromised. This is what you need to do. And he's bouncing back and forth between calls, and they get him to screen share his desktop.
And from there on, they're like, OK, so I'm going to read you. I need you to confirm like the last four digits of your your private keys for your Bitcoin address. So he pulls up his whatever document with all his Bitcoin keys, reads off the last four digits. But it doesn't matter because they have their screen sharing. They got his entire all of his private keys. And it was like a couple dozen different wallets and they stole all of his Bitcoin. And this all happened in like, dude, like a couple of minutes.
actually a discord call between all of them from the moment that they get on the call with them or something to the moment that they get the money. And it's a bunch of like 20 year old kids feel like those scammers worked harder for that $250 million than the Bitcoin holder did.
Yeah, well, think about it from his perspective, right? If you can afford $250 million in Bitcoin, you're probably getting VIP treatment for everything, like top tier customer support. So he's probably much more susceptible to this kind of stuff. I think there's few things where it's like they're just
probably if you can program it in your brain to just look for like just to listen for certain red flags, you can just kind of not necessarily even hang up because sometimes there are like Will was saying or that there are like legit things that sound sketchy, but it's like at that moment, that's when you start asking more questions, which could then raise more red flags if it is sketchy.
just like the subtle one, like we said before, it's like them being pushy, but also they're just like tiny little details of them asking like sharing your screen. And sometimes they'll be like, how do you share your screen? Oh, we just use like, and they just give you like some sketchy screen sharing software. You're like, um,
Like there's different ways or they use weird emails or I don't know. It's like they're, I can't. They do this every day though. They are pros. Like imagine like every single day you scan people. Oh yeah. You were going to learn the ins and outs of how to navigate some of the most like awkward things to answer about like why do you. Yeah, you build out that decision tree. Like you're going to get so good at it. Like.
I mean, even the bank one that just the guy was saying, you have to send money to yourself to like, you know, to nullify the system. That makes no goddamn sense. I'm gonna, if this is an actual bank protocol, switching banks to one that's not living in the fucking Stone Ages. But is it really that surprising though? No, they live in the fucking Stone Ages.
Generally, the way that like any bank works and I feel like I'm not a banking master, but there is not a single bank. I would say or reputable system that makes you do something to quote trigger something in their system unless there's like literally they're addressing some very specific glitch.
that you called them about. But if they call you, and they're like something simple, like, oh, we need to change the limit of your account. But to do that, you have to send money. It's like, what? But it's called social engineering, though. They'll come up with creative roundabouts to get you to, they'll spend 20 minutes to get you to a point where you can fathomably understand why you would have to send money.
But they'll take you from point A to point B of like the scam is like, oh, give us money. It is like building trust. It's like doing it the long way to when you get to that point, you've invested so much time and energy and you just want this whole debacle to be over that you're like, okay, I guess that makes sense. I trust you. I don't know for 20 minutes. You haven't tried to scam me in that timeframe. Why would you try to like fucking bring this to a close by scamming me right now? And then you a scam.
Well, it's like, so the guy saying you have to send money to yourself. That'd be an example of like, anytime you have to send money at any point ever that you didn't expect, that's your red flag. And when for me, he's a gift to send money to yourself. I'm like, okay, that sounds very, that's, I'm not sending it to anyone. That's not a scam. Yeah, exactly. How could that be a scam? I'm sending it to me. We're scammer, ever. The moment that happens, you go, oh, well, I'm not really that comfortable like sending money. I'll just go into the branch.
I'm the guy who's saying to send $10,000. It's not a small amount of money. Joke's on him. I don't even have that much money. Oh, so he wanted you to send $10,000 to yourself? Yeah, and he obviously didn't see my bank account because I don't even have close to that the bank account. So what an idiot. That's like a major. So what do you think the next step in the scam was? Okay. Now, send the money to yourself and for the recipient address, I'm going to read you your own account number. So put this in.
I have literally no clue how he was going to weasel that that money would be sent somewhere else. That's why it worked so good. No, but here's the thing. The moment someone ever says to send money that it's not a call you made, just always do. Like you said, I'm going to go into the branch. I'm going to call. I'm going to call. I'm going to call back any fucking information at all.
If they ask you for any government information, do not you immediately fucking hang up and call the bank. You say, I'm going to call the bank director. No, you you edge the scam as long as you can. That's what I do. And that's how I almost got some. I almost got my actual real bank account terminated is for telling a real bank employee to fucking suck my nose.
and
I was like, I looked this up and I remember reading a forum post and I'm like, yeah, that's interesting. When you go, what's it called? Trying to think of the exact, basically, if you have a checking account, you have like your checking number and your routing number. And if you want to get paid, you can send it to somebody to say, like, this is what you wire your money to. They can pull money out.
Yeah, they can just take money from you. And then the- Welcome to the fucking 21st century of banking. I remember reading on the forum, the guys like, whoa, wait, so they can just take money for you. What's stopping them? They go, oh, well, fraud's a crime.
Wait, so somebody has your account number, they can just steal money from you? They can just take your account, Kevin. Yeah, it's because it goes both ways. If you gave me, if I hired you and was like, what's your checking and whatever routing number I want to pay you, I could just take money from your account. And then it's up to you. No, no, no, no. Then that's the part that I'm confused about.
How do you pay with online banking? You give them your routing and your account number. And your account. That's all you need to take money. They just pull the money out. Yeah, but those are like trusted. You welcome to- It doesn't matter who it is. Your utility bill. How can somebody- And I think you have to link that to your bank account. There's like some online- No.
Kevin, you are a game. Kevin doesn't believe it. No, you are like, you're like, you're just taking the money. The system will punish them for doing that. Yeah. It's just like a handshake. Yes. You are, you have a handshake with the system. The computer is trusting that they will not let somebody pull that money out unless you have agreed.
I guess you could just like write the account number on a check, right? Your account number is on the check. A check has both pieces of information. So it's like somebody has your checkbook. They have a checkbook. They could. No, they don't even feel like they can take your account and routing number literally in the numbers. Yeah, I know. But if like if I stole your checkbook, I could just say like $1 million to the bank and they give it to you. Yeah. And then the person just praying to God, the bank is going to say this is fucking fake. Mm hmm.
It's actually that bad. They don't even need fucking locks on the goddamn vault. You know why there's no locks on your checkbook? It's because it's not the bank's money. It's yours. You know, the bank has less money in its vault than you have in your account? Like you're probably average. I bet you the bank only has like a couple of tens of thousands of dollars in cash in every location. Oh, in every location. I would be surprised if they had like a hundred grand at any given moment inside of one bank.
everybody should go to the bank when they're listening to this podcast and try to withdraw as much money as they can. Do you know, you know, across the entire United States, all at once, you know, the most uncomfortable conversation I had with a banker. It's a social experiment. When I bought the excavators, I paid like $14,000 for it and I went to the biggest
40,000 dollars cash. The guy looked at me and he was just like, and I was like, what are you talking? Like, this is my money. Yeah, like this is my money. I fucking make me feel bad about taking my own money out. I'm sorry. I'm like, is there a problem? You can't give me my fucking money.
The I was going to say that that basically when you go into the teller part of their job is to stop fraud because for example, I was buying some big expensive Chinese thing and the guy is so suspicious. Do you make purchases like this often? No.
What's a company name? I don't know. It's on the paper, right? What are you getting? Oh, it's just like a can you describe it to me? That's like a machine thing. The guy's like, are you? You're like- You're like- You're like- You're like, dude, do you really want me to explain this machine to you? Like-
He just he was so hesitant. Yeah, but we had we'll walks into a bank. He's like, yeah, I'm here to buy an excavator from some dude off Facebook marketplace. Yeah. I need $14,000. And I don't know. Definitely. He looked like an excavator guy, you know, the guy actually asked me the guys to be how old this is like for you three years ago. How old are you?
I'm like, he's like confused. He thought I was like, he thought I was like 21 just sending lots of money. He didn't believe it was even my, he didn't believe I had a business. That's rude of him. He asked for photo ID.
Just pull up your YouTube channel instead. No, that always makes it worse. That's even more questions. I'm talking about sending money. I was buying UV lamps from China and I sent a wire. It wasn't like a crazy amount of money. I think it was like $2,000 and out like a week or two later, normally they're pretty fast. This guy is like, I don't have it yet.
Oh, it kept going back and forth. Like he's like, I'll check the bank. I'll check the bank. And after a while, I'm like, am I getting scammed by this guy? Like this is an Alibaba guy. So it's usually they're very legit. So I'm like, yeah, Alibaba will call up in their assholes. And when they've been on Alibaba for like 12 years, you're just like, okay.
So I'm like, I don't think this guy is scamming me. I think there's something weird with the bank. And what he was saying was that something weird, like in the message that I sent, I didn't include the address or a detail about the order. So the intermediary bank was not releasing the money to them. They wouldn't tell anybody. They wouldn't ask you for clarification or anything.
So my mom calls our bank and go, they go, that is the current situation. It's, it has not been claimed the money. And it is not being claimed because there's an issue on the other end. We know it's to the end. We know that there's a problem. And yes, you're right. We've never fucking reached out to clarify or help move this. Yeah, with the, with the other end. Listen, let's go for two weeks. Guess who gets to keep the money? We do go fuck yourself.
Well, no, no, you're gonna like how the story goes. So eventually the guy's like, can I just pay through like Alibaba pay? The guy's like, yeah, that's fine. I pay and like literally 30 minutes later. Okay, I got payment arranging production. I'm like, why didn't I do this three weeks ago? Regardless, my mom calls and it's always because they didn't wanna pay the fee of 30 bucks or 50 bucks. It was like 20 more than the wire. I don't know. So my mom calls our bank and they're like, yeah.
The intermediary bank is somewhere in China, and we don't have proper relations with them. So we're going to try to get the wire back, but we can't guarantee it. And if we do, it could take up to a year to get your money back. And they're like, but if not, unfortunately, it's a loss. And I'm like, where does the money go?
Fuck do you do in this building all day? Yeah. You have a one fucking job. Like I get better service from a god damn McDonald's. But then I do from a fucking bank. My question is, does the intermediary bank go after what is it? Like some, I don't know. It's like statute of limitations thing. Like after a year, they're like our money now. Like if they don't do anything. Yeah.
But do you think banks charge you fucking late fees and account overdraft fees and account balance fees for any reason other than fuck you. Give us your money. You know, it's funny. The statute of limitations is always like if it's an error on our side or something like we owe you money. The statute of limitations is like it's three. No, if if the bank owes me money, the statute of limitations is like God damn life.
No, no, if the bank owes me money, the statute of limitations that I can go after the bank is like three weeks. And if I owe the bank money, they'll have, well, for taxes with the IRS is three years. If they owe you money, you forfeit it in three years. If you owe money to the IRS, yeah, oh, yeah, man, forever, forever.
Until you die and then they're going to take it from your the real the real trick though I remember reading a story about there was a dude who he said it was like the old there's an old saying they're like you owe sorry it's like you owe the bank a million that's your problem you owe the bank a hundred million that's their problem and this one guy was like when you owe the bet there's a certain threshold where you owe the bank so much money that they buy you things because they're just because if they don't want you to declare bankruptcy
They only want to rally you out. Apparently, they'll take you out for five-star restaurant dinners to try to lose. You should have just kept not paying off the cards. But they'll really try to be on your good side. And they're not going to come after you because then they know they'll lose everything. So they have enough to lose that they have to be really nice to you. That's really funny.
I bet. Yeah. There's probably a certain point where they're like, Oh, no, this guy's going to fail and we're going to lose all of our money. So we need to like invest in this guy's business and like take it over for him. What's kind of like like an angel, angel business CEO. I mean, think about that. It's like if you, if you know somebody, a friend of yours and it's like they owe you a thousand bucks and they're kind of scamming you. You're kind of pissed and you're like, you know, and you're fantasy. Like always just beat them up one day. Cause you just let go of the thousand, but they owe you like a million. You're going to be like.
You want to take action, but if you know somebody who owes you a million dollars you're like
What can I do? You're just like, I need to be careful or I'll never see this money. So I'm going to be like, I can't make him an enemy. What, Kevin? Just a couple bucks, you know, just, you know, just just a little bit right now. Don't worry about the rest, but just, you know,
We'll talk about that later. We're going to get paid in time. Either cash or with other services that I can render. I feel like that's probably the only time in my life that I've been like even close to getting scammed. Yeah, it was the YouTube AdSense one and then actually scammed was open source because that's just like there's so much communication that it's like really easy to get inundated with like emails and invoices and this and that and you just kind of.
You like, you basically, if you can't trust anything, like if you can't trust that, oh, this email that looks legit and has information that I'm familiar with that shouldn't be owned by anybody else other than the people that I trust, like if you have to start like micro analyzing everything and like looking at the domains of the emails that are being sent and it's like, because everything's compromised, like you're like living in a world where you're like, you're like blind. You basically have no sensory input. You're like, you're just like schizophrenic at that point. Just imagine. I don't even, I don't check my bank account off.
Oh my god, I got in a fight with the lady at the bank years ago because it's just like, you know, a poor, just recently graduated William. And it was like, you know, for a couple months, they'd been charging me fees. And it's like, they don't let you know that, of course. They don't tell you, oh, we're charging you. Oh, so when you finally check, you're like,
Yes, exactly. So what happened was my parents had like made a new account for a remodel on the house and then somehow that like upgraded to like the higher account balance kind of thing. And because my, I had opened that account with my mom when I, you know, when you have to like sign, cosign with your parents for a bank account.
It somehow got tied to my account. And so my account was always under the balance because I was, I didn't have any money. And so I was getting charged these fees as if I had had like $50,000 in the bank account. And so I went in there and I was like, Hey, like, why am I getting charged these fees? Like I never did this. Like I never asked for the higher account type. And she's like, Oh, well, it's your responsibility to check your account balance to make sure. And I was like, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah.
I'm fucking, don't fucking, it's my responsibility to check my fucking, to make sure that we didn't fuck it up. To make sure that you didn't fuck up my account type that you charged me, I never, because I was trying to get the money back. I was like, I needed that a couple hundred bucks for like the four months or whatever it was charging me. Yeah. Wow, you didn't get it back? No. Damn, dude. No. I, go ahead, Nigel.
I don't know. You go. I have never been scammed, but my God, somebody has stolen a lot of money from my banking accounts over time. Really? Like, I catch it. I've gotten 90% of the money back, but it's been like, you know, sometimes I'll open up my chase account and it's like $2,000. Hey, gone? Gone. So like some shoe store in New York City. So I call fraud department and I'm like,
What the fuck? Yeah, like, come on. Like every time I try to buy something from AliExpress, I've got to like verify all this, but like. Yeah, some asshole can just like find a fucking card. And at one point, it was happening so often, like I would get a new card. They would give me like close my account. How is how? I don't know. It must have just been some service that I was using. I have no idea.
I'm convinced that's happening to me. It's like every, every, I don't have any money and I don't every six months, you know, I, some, something would happen. And it got to the point where I'm just like, okay, now I got to fight with the bank again. I got to prove it's not me and they're probably wondering what the hell I'm doing. And I'm like specifically being more careful now. It might have been some like local business or like credit cards, skimmers at gas stations.
I downloaded a program. But I stopped buying stuff online completely for a year at one point. And then after some time, I noticed nobody stole any money from me and I logged onto my business account. And I saw that there was one charge for $250 to the PlayStation network. And you know what I did? I did nothing. I just watched it.
Because I'm like, I don't want to have to go through all this again with the bank. And like, you know, 30 minutes of $250 is worth not having to do a 30 minute phone call with the bank. Yeah, I'm fighting with them and fucking. Yeah, waiting a week for a new credit card. Yeah, dude. I downloaded a program called G and U cash to do my accounting because I was like, fuck, I got to go through all this shit. And yeah, dude, like profit. And like, I hate all that. I hate that stuff so much. I was like, I don't want to pay for anything. So I just downloaded this program. It's like this open source free.
Really like it looks like some shit straight out of the 90s for accounting and it has like some cool tools. You can import your bank statements Yeah, and it will try to like when you go through and categorize them you can make categories and it'll try to recognize future statements that you import Okay, and going through it fucking every business changes the like described Oh, yeah, like a code or something. Yeah, McDonald's in all caps
And then like four months later, McDonald's, but like some caps, some lowercase. But it's like, how the fuck does every business that charges you money not just have like some identifier attached to it that is like, this is the thing that charges you money. Like, why does the name change? Like to the point where it's not, it's like the text should be fucking identical. Like, you know, when I make a payment to something, like my, it's like my name is on it. Yeah.
Like William, William Osman paid this thing. So why is it that when I use my card or my bank to pay for something for a business, the identifier that's tied to, which you know in the back end has a unique ID that sticks to it. Every fucking transaction is tied to some really robust identifier.
But for me, I have to go through and now fucking read these descriptions and re-categorize them and re-figure out what they are. Every fucking statement because they change. Here's my theory and I don't know if it's right, but there's a lot of apps nowadays that will unsubscribe you automatically from like recurring payments in your bank account. So maybe it's just like try to break that pattern where if they don't see the same name in a row, they're not going to think it's a recurring payment and they won't like unsubscribe you. I don't know. I
I think, I mean, I appreciate that conspiracy. I think it's just gross incompetence. I think everyone's just so fucking stupid. But it's harder. Except for us. It's harder to change the name than to just leave it. So. Yeah, no, I know. I think that's why I think nobody thinks that's the miracle. The stupid miracle is somehow they've made more work for themselves and created a worth.
experience for everybody else. Have you ever seen a charge that has like a name tied to it and it's like UP-astrict SEC? Yeah. And you're like, I have no fucking name. Like the only hint you have is the date of the transaction. Yeah. And the amount of money. If you have to fucking categorize it by knowing that, oh, I know that I spent $8 at a burger restaurant in the airport.
around this time. Yeah. Therefore, this is food. That's the only hint it gives you and you have to like know what you spent is, is psychotic. It's actually psychotic. It won't even like what, how are you supposed to use up you, you P asterisk SEC to figure out who the fuck took your money? Wait, Nigel's been trying to say something for a while now.
No, I don't have anything. I was going to say though, you could solve all your problems, just do cash only, because then you'll never remember anything you bought. All you know is you have no money at the end. Then you just get stabbed and mugged by somebody on a subway. I have one category in my accounting. It's doing business.
And all my money gets spent under doing business. All the supplies. Yeah, fuck off. Let me- I literally barely is barely holding this together as is. And you want me to spend five hours doing fucking accounting that doesn't mean anything anyways? Because none of the fucking bank statements tied back to goddamn anything.
I just remember before I was 18 and I had a credit card. Like I said, all the news, I started a month with like three hundred bucks and I ended the month with like 50 bucks and I have no clue where the money went. And it's nobody's got no business where it went either. Your accounting was just whatever cash you have at any moment.
which strip club is what's the strip club called that used to go to or that you still go to that we're going to go to what are you talking about? I can't I can't I can't I can't reveal these secrets. You're the one that Allen. Yeah. Want to I can't say. Okay. Why is that close to your house? No.
If they know the address, they basically can find Nigel 12 hours a day. Exactly. Yeah. That's actually where I am right now. You think this room is in my office. You spent so much fucking money that you build your goddamn web and send it back in the strip club. I set it up right there. Dude, you could start your own. You should start your. Yeah, I would. Kevin, you think I didn't think of that already? Well, you're working on this count. Talk about abuse.
Well, I brought some snacks. I was, and I was supposed to eat the snacks. Yeah, what the hell? I got a bunch of little treats in here. You look like a I went to the candy store. Oh, so you why? Okay. I don't understand those buttons. These I used to love these when I was a kid for some reason. I think you were wrong. I think, well, there's number one, they're pure sugar that's literally just like sugar and cornstarch. Yeah, but, but most most can't. I'd never understand them. I get them, but there's always paper on them. Yeah. It's like, it's kind of like.
I don't know describe it's like, do you know when you're doing something you're building something and you need a certain tool and you're not using the right tool and your life's miserable, but you just want to kind of get it done. That's why I feel when I eat those candies like you're not. You just peeled something paper like I'm so I only eat them when I'm desperate for sugar, but I know the experience is like not it's like very suboptimal.
Wow, you actually can't pull them off without pulling paper fibers with it. It doesn't matter. It's just paper. No, but there's also the work of having to just like, thank you. Thank you. There's also the work of having to pick each individual one off and not get paper. Like it's work and then the reward is kind of bad. You can just like, you can like fold it up like this. You can't even see it.
Yeah, you can just peel them off with your teeth and it's fine. That's like actually floor scrapings at the candy shop. They're good. They used to be like actually my favorite. Why don't they put it on? Why don't they put it on something that just like doesn't peel paper off with it? Grossing. Don't even have the paper. Well, then what was it to wax paper? Nothing. Okay. I'll give it a little bag while you. I got all the weird candy. I'm sorry. Did you just like go through your chalk collection and bring it down? Yeah.
Right. They're all kind of chalky. So these, this is, these are Neko wafers. The sugar and then some other. Those are okay. Nevada desert. I used to hate these. I think. I know. I know. I was left over from fucking cobalt processing. No, that's only the blue ones. I know. That's why they're the size of 18, 650. These are actually pretty good. Some of them are good. There's like a clove flavor one, which is weird, but there's an orange and cream one, which is delicious. Oh my God. It's like.
No, no, honey. My girlfriend used to live next to this factory in Virginia. And you could like buy bags of the Neko hash that would like fall through the machines. And it was just like bits and pieces that you could just buy like a whole big brown paper bag full. Was there ever hair in it? I don't know. You know, that definitely is super shitty.
Yeah, they're interesting. I know you guys have in the US, you call them smarties. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I like those. The candy shops sold giant ones, like big ones. Smarties. Everyone rates them low tier, but I really like them. Yeah, I like that. I would. They made sour ones too, right? Or they're always kind of tart. There's like an order of operations of like how I'll eat Halloween candy.
And smarties are probably somewhere in the lower middle. Like they're my go to. No, I think you're wrong. We also have Canadian. No, you're definitely wrong. And those are good. If you also talk with smarty, is it powder? It's like an M&M. It just tastes different. And it's in there. That's not that's. Don't call them smarties. That one's Nigel. They're M&M is this one's Nigel. We call them smarties, but then what you call smarties in the US, we call rockets.
Yeah, what color are they? They have red ones. Oh, wait. So Nigel, no, you can't even see me. This is this camera's you, Nigel. No, he's he's in the middle. Oh, okay. Oh, that's what you're asking. Yeah. Yeah. I said, which cameras is Nigel's? Oh, well, I'll show it to this one. Is that a hot one? Yeah. Yeah. These are the dots, but they're hot. Hot dots, hot dots. So they have a cinnamon, hot cinnamon and fire. And it says warning contains capsaicin, extremely hot.
You want to try it? Okay, I also I also got another thing These are gonna be I got I got this guy little nitro the world's hottest gummy bear No, I think if you eat that you actually have like you I saw people online you get like stomach problems really it was ten dollars this one gummy bear was ten dollars I think it's actually I think it's
I could be wrong, but I think it's almost like the one chip challenge where it's like, if you ate the whole thing, like you will get an irritated stomach. Okay. Well, we can just lick it. Take turns licking it. Yeah. Or take a little bite off it or something. I'm just warning you. I don't think it's smart to stick off, which is the worst is the top. Yeah. Yeah. So let's start with yellow. Oh, you know, my favorite part about these paper is all the fucking paper.
You literally hear the favor fire. They could, you know what? No. Okay. They shouldn't change anything. Okay. That's nice. Yellow. It's almost like I'm eating a styrofoam cup that's gone through 400 hours of chemical processing. Tastes like fireball.
Cause I was going to say that I made my, oh wait, no, I did cherry flavor. Wait, no, I was going to say, oh no, I did do sorry. It was cinnamon candy because I turned styrofoam to cinnamon. So you're that's like, I've got candy about a quarter inch of fucking paper on this one. Yeah. I don't want to eat it. I'm going to peel it off. What a man. The paper is part of the. It is. You got to pick it out of your teeth afterwards. This is really hot. Okay. There's a lot more cinnamon in that one. Huh?
It's like it's weirdly spicy cinnamon. Oh, yeah. Maybe it's a mix of capsaicin and cinnamon. I don't. Oh, man. Don't. Oh, when you swallow it, it's, it's worse. I don't think I like that. Then you're really not going to like this next one. The extremely hot. Oh, you spit it out. No, I put it there. I can. Okay. Two on the next one. Suck on for a little bit and then chew it. I'm sorry, sir. Don't talk like this in public.
Paper won't let go. Do you want to try? Which one? The hottest? All right. John's going for it. No, Nigel. What's the remedy again? Oh, right. There is none. Try. It's sweet. It's cinnamon. Once you break through that, there's like a Kate, a little. A shell, a protection. Yeah. A clear coat. The acrylic. Oh, yeah. And you choose it. Why? Are you stupid? No, I just want to get to the point. Well, how sharp is the point? I don't think it's that much worse than the really hot.
Yeah, I'm not noticing really any of the difference. It's like throat coating. That's what I fucking hate about that. Okay, yeah, it's not super hot. It's maybe like eating like Tabasco sauce if you just like hit like a squirt of Tabasco sauce in your mouth. Yeah, it's hot. I wouldn't want to eat a lot of these though. They're not. That's for sure. They're not good. Where did you get these? A candy store at the mall. Okay, it's like a gag gift kind of place.
No, just like candy in general, like all types of candy, but I just like the old stuff. Yeah, I was like, you can't get this like where there is original.
No, not that old. The unbranded strawberry hard candy. Oh, that just looked like a little strawberry. Yeah, those are my favorite. My grandma had those all the time, which I think is part of the car. Oh, they're filled just like a goo. Yeah. A goo that's maybe hardened over time and it's more like a yeah. I love that. The goo is my favorite part. It's like half cured epoxy by the time. Yeah, I would. Yeah. As a kid, I would suck the goo out, crack a hole in the strawberry and suck the goo out of it. Like a fucking dehydrated gusher.
Imagine if you removed 50% of the water from a gusher? No, man, the freakin' gummy bears got a little TNT graphic, a nitroglycerin bundle warning. Okay, so it says, fully chew this bear and see if you can handle the heat. No. Can you go a full five minutes without relief? No, I can't go five minutes without relief in anything I do. I'm gonna look it up, gummy bear challenge, is that what it is?
little, little nitro. I don't like that. It's got, it's sort of got some might be a knockoff version. Wait, the world's spiciest. So that's nine million. Scoville. Yeah, that's what it says here. 900 times hotter than a jalapeno pepper, like a hot one or not spicy ones because sometimes you're right. Yeah. Um,
I think you'd be fine. Oh, we can just we can pick a piece off. Yeah, I'll buy all by his little gummy thing like fingernail clippers or something. I have a knife. I have a knife. We can slice this boy up. We'll slice up. People are saying it's this guy. This guy goes anyone try it. What am I in for on Reddit? The guy goes immense stomach pain.
Man, dude, just try like an ear or something. He's sweating, Kevin. He's sweating. That's all. Oh, yeah, that's all. He's literally. He's literally extract. He's this. It's like oozing out. It's actually oozing out. When I do this, it's like a wedding. I'm touching. I'm gently caressing a little nitro with my, is that as cockaristic a dynamite?
Ooh, this person says taste is bad, heat is strong, but tolerable, except stomach pain is different than any other hot sauce or spicy food I've ever eaten. Oh no, it's pain on and off for hours. Or I'm cutting off his penis, actually I'm cutting off his entire. So I think if you like fully chew it and let it dissolve in your mouth, you won't get stomach pain. But the fact that it's like sitting there holes, like it's like a time release bomb.
Yeah, I think that's the problem. Okay. This kind of everyone says intense stomach pain for hours. Oh, wow. Everyone says that. Smells? You're cut off the feet too for me and John. Smells like weird. I don't have to describe the smell like earthy.
One time Allen and I, we went to this place called like Nashville hot chicken. And we both got the most spice, the spiciest one that they sold there. And oh my God, dude. Yeah, that was bad. We both sat in the bathroom for like an hour and a half. Cause we thought we were going to throw out. Paint greens. Yeah. You missed the show. I missed half of it. Yeah. I actually thought they were going to die. It was dude touching it. My hands are greasy. Oh man. Here we go. You smell. What is that smell? It's not like cherry.
No, no, it smells like there's something like smells like smell like death. It smells like hay. Am I missing something? I don't smell that. Yeah, it's very herbal like dried. Kind of. Yeah, almost like aged tobacco. How bad is this going to be? I'm going to eat it. I'm going to suck.
Mm. I don't really taste anything yet. Mm. Okay. It's building. No, that's bad. Mm hmm. I think just you the outer layer. No, you know what that taste is? It's like it's a chili extract. Yeah. It's like, Oh my God. No. Wow. No, no boy. It's like a chili extract from raw peppers that they just they condensed and put into a gummy bear. Wow. I spit it out and it's still getting worse. Mm. It's that bad. It's bad. It's bad. I spit mine out. I just gave it a little one little suck.
Wow. It's very. I'm not I'm just like letting letting it sit like kind of on the side of my mouth like on my tooth. Wow. Bro. I shouldn't have swallowed what I just swallowed. No. All that spit. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Right now it's like I just bit into a habanero pepper or a really spicy habanero and it's just sitting on my tongue.
I, I spit that out 30 plus seconds ago and it's still getting worse. Holy shit. I'm glad I'm not there. I still have so much left. Look at it. I don't know. I haven't barely eaten anything. Kevin, why are you still? I'm just like slowly sucking on it. If, if I'm feeling the migrates any lower, I'm going to be fucking shitting when I walk for the next two days. Dude, they got me bare one.
Wow, I couldn't do a whole one. I don't know if I even want to finish this foot.
It, how, how you guys are reacting, remind me, I went to a Filipino restaurant the other day. Yeah. And I just, all I did was they said, if you guys can't even pay attention. They said, they said it was like a sizzling dish and it said nothing about like spiciness. And so it came out on like a plate or a bowl thing that's like hot. So it's sizzling. I swear to God, it was like 70% jalapenos.
Just like, did it like pepper spray the room when they brought it out? I didn't notice that, but it was like 70% by volume, just jalapenos with the seeds in it. So then I was like, okay, I'll try it. It was the most unedible, unedibly spicy dish I've ever ordered. But thankfully- I just got to wait for my leaf. I have it. I've seen door fans. Your body's trying to save you.
My mom's lactose intolerant and they accidentally put, uh, like a cheesy thing on it. So then they remade it in the last case, but it was completely inedible. And I was like, who would eat that? I like, I think it hits a threshold that no matter what your body's not really, oh, and I had Thai chilies on it as well. It was a mix of Thai chilies and jalapenos.
It's like my tongue is fully saturated with pain right now. Yeah. Yes. That's how I feel. But it's only on my tongue. So it's not that bad. That's psychotic. Dude, I probably dissolved like 10 milligrams of gummy bear and I. Yeah. Anyone who I that's like a medical emergency in a gummy bear if you ate the whole thing.
And then explain to you the mentality when someone reacts like that when they're sucking on the gummy bear and they go, so you just got to swallow it quick. They do have three chews and swallow it. And you're like, why, do you think that's going to get better? Like, why do you think that the challenge was swallowing it? I, my, my tongue doesn't really even hurt anymore, but there's something going on in my head. I don't know how to describe it. Like a, almost like endorphins. Maybe. Yeah.
Like your body thinks that your tongue is on fire right now. And it's giving me nature's lycanine. It's like nature's opiate. It's like more pain. More pain isn't going to help you. Yeah. So we can just make it go away now. Right. God damn. My nose is running. I think that if I had given even a couple more seconds of suck on that.
It was John, did you spit yours out? You swallowed it. Wow. John is you're. It's going to do it. You did chew it. You did chew it. Did you dissolve it completely though? I sure. Yeah. Wow. There's no way it's going to tear your ass up tomorrow. John thinks it's going to tear his ass up. OK, here's what you should do. Yeah. A jar full of gummy bears with one little nitro in it. Let's actually leave it. Let it sit on your desk in your office. Geneva and just wait. It says, do not touch my gummy bears. You that you might give you some.
like a waiver of liability. Maybe just a foot, just one foot. Well, you would just do a surgery to replace one of the gummy bears amputated and replace it. You like lick it and you stick it back on and throw it in the jar. And your warning is the warning I licked one of these. Yeah. But they also don't know is the one you licked is the little nitro. What a shitty gummy bear. Who would like?
What? What? What's the spices thing you guys have ever eaten? That's up. Put it down below in the comments. A little nitro. What's funny is like, I've had pure capsaicin before. Yeah. But I find that the way you get the spice really matters a lot. Like one of the most painful experiences I had was just eating a fresh habanero. Yeah. Oh, I think it's just like, it's just so much worse than pure capsaicin, actually.
I think one of my, I have two spice experiences that I remember. Um, I think the first one is in, uh, I used to make like chili and I would take a cup and a half or whatever of the chili is like being, oh, chili had turkey in it. It's like actually like a meat chili. You don't call it chili chili lily on those beans in it.
I take a scoop of it or a cup and a half or something, put in a blender and I throw a habanero in there. Sorry, I'm gonna have to wipe my nose periodically. And I would, I don't know why, but I would, sometimes after it was done blending, I would sniff it and I like somehow like didn't learn the first time that how fucking bad of an idea that was. And so I was getting like freshly pureed and like aerosolized habanero pepper straight to the dome.
Um, the other one is, um, let's see if I can remember. Oh, it was, uh, actually it was, we were in Ohio visiting Peter in 2017 and we went to Buffalo Wildlings and we were like, Oh, the atomic wings. That would be fun. And they weren't, they were spicy, but like they were long lived spicy, which was the problem.
And like going in was like this, like it was like little nitro in your mouth, which is fine. Like I can handle it. I can sweat and I can salivate and my nose will drip, but I'll I'll survive. What when little nitro tries to crawl his way out of your asshole, or I'm sorry, I should say when the Buffalo when a Buffalo wildling tries to crack your asshole, that was probably one of the worst seven hour car rides of my life the next day, where we were driving from from Ohio where Peter lives up to Canada to visit the Hacksmith.
And the entire car ride, I had some of the worst like GI pain, like GI tract disturbance. Yeah. It was like, you could feel every inch of your colon. It was like, yeah, it was like a tracer around. Like I could, I was tracing out my intestines. Like as it moved through, I could feel it moving through.
My teeth hurt right now. My teeth hurt. That's fucked. I can feel my teeth. I barely, I like, I pussied out on mine and it's still bad. I'm like holding my hand away from me right now because I touched it. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. I'm saving it for when I go piss later. I'm gonna go on the tip of my penis. It'll make it big, I heard.
What I just thought of for some reason was when I, before I even had a YouTube channel, the two main projects that I started with was distilling my own alcohol, which is funny because I don't know. I hate alcohol and I don't drink. Except on time and Japan. Yeah.
I hate the taste. So it's like on some occasions, I'll like deal with it, but generally I just hate the taste. But I also wanted, I was really trying to extract pure capsaicin from ghost chili peppers. That was like my goal. The problem was there's like no info on the internet. So I was kind of like just in the, in hindsight, I was doing some pretty bad science. But what was also important in that mission was that I couldn't afford gloves.
So everything that I did was just with bare hands. And I think he's so needed. Well, dude, gloves are expensive. It was like 15 or 20 hours a month. You could go to the doctor and say, hey, I'm going to do an experiment. And if I can't get gloves, I'm going to have to come back and waste your gloves. So you might as well just give me some of your gloves now so we can save the trip here.
So either way, I didn't wear gloves. And when you spill concentrated capsaicin solution in acetone or ethanol or whatever rubbing alcohol on your hands, it kind of just like soaks in. And it's like for 24 hours, every time it gets wet, your hands start burning again. And it feels like you spilled acid on them.
It doesn't, it doesn't get, it doesn't get that bad, but it gets like, it, I mean, it's kept facing on your hands and it's, but it's every time you wash your hands and there was times where I had it all over my hands and then you like touch your face, your eyes and now your face is burning.
I have a video idea for you, Nigel. What did you, what did you extract from diabetic piss? I forgot. Nothing. What did you do? I just did a test for sugar. Oh, okay. I thought it was a science thing. I didn't realize it was like a pervert thing. Um, I have my video idea for you is, is extracting capsaicin from my buffalo while wings diary.
I can do that. How much capsaicin could you recover from a little nitro? From a little nitro? It's not that much. No, but after I eat it. Oh, I would be like borderline impossible to get anything. Do you digest it? Yeah, I mean, a bunch of it gets broken down into something. Okay. Some of it comes out. I can just burn on that. I don't need a fucking pH tester to know that my ass is on fire when I shit out this little nitro tomorrow.
because I think the, um, the Scoville unit for spiciness, I think it's a PPM scale. So it's like, if it's nine million units, it's just nine million. I can hear Kim are really funny. Okay. I don't know. I like to start a petition.
We started petitioning right now that we should have two Scoville scales. I want like before Christ and after Christ. Like, how hot is it when I eat it? And how hot is it when I shit it? Because some hot sauces are drastically different on the before and afters. And I don't know why. And all I can think about right now is I pray to God that the little nitro only hurt on the way in. Yes. Because if it's even a fraction of that on the way out, I'm... I think if you'd call it out tomorrow.
If you didn't swallow like any piece of it, I think you're fine. I spit out. I think I might have swallowed some a little bit of oil, but that's OK. I tried to spit out most of it.
Cause I think the, I think the things that caused most of the problem is like, for example, I mentioned I went to that restaurant and had the jalapenos. Like the seeds. I tried to eat as many as I can. Yeah, seeds, but also like the plant material, cause it's all fiber. It doesn't break down properly. So it kind of just like sits and leaks capsaicin out. So I had a stomach ache for like a day because of that. But if in my video where I made pure capsaicin, I even had enough that I hiccuped
Never had a stomach ache and I didn't, well, after that, I never go anywhere because it kind of just like goes away. Like he fucking tortures himself and then regrets it. Because it's not really that bad, you know? He's like, I hate the whole opinions as quickly as possible as a challenge. And then I regretted doing it. No, it wasn't a challenge. I thought they were like, you know, most jalapenos aren't spicy, especially once you cook them. Yeah.
So I was, I thought, oh, they're just for flavor. No, they're the spiciest, like, jalapenos I've ever had anyone serve me ever. And you finished them all before realizing that? No, I had like, I had like a, like a, the portion that you take off the plate. I ate it and it was really good. And then it was kind of halfway through. I'm like, oh, this is something odd here. By the time I finished, I was in that moment where I was like, I was eating with my mom and I'm like,
I'm not doing, I'm not doing, no, I was like, I'm not doing so good. And I think my stomach's going to be dead later. But that's when my mom was like, she couldn't even, I think my mom tasted a little bit. She's like, I can't even. Yeah. It's inedible. My mom couldn't eat it.
That's like the first time I ate a szechuan like my po or like whatever that really hot stuff. It's like literally the plate is just chicken and chili peppers. And I didn't know that you're not supposed to eat the chili peppers. Kevin, that's my friends brought me to a szechuan place. Yeah. And it was like a dish where it was all together. So everything was kind of black.
Yeah, everyone's having fun and I was dying. I'm like, this is so enjoyable. And then I kept, I asked them, like, how are you guys enjoying it? And they're like, oh, like it's just chicken. I'm like, yeah, but like, what are you about to do? I was like, oh, these are the bay leaves and like other crunchy bits in here. I was like, these things, it's so spicy though. And then they're like, yeah, why are you eating the pure pepper? It's like, it's like, you shrimp with tails and like 1,800 like deer meat with fucking buckshot in it. Like, why are we putting in edible shit in the plate?
Yeah. Take the peppers out if I'm not supposed to eat them. Yeah. We need a subreddit. It's not. We want plates. We want fucking edible food without the parts that I'm not. But don't I'm not. I'm not the goddamn chef. Tell me what I'm not supposed to. At least Panda Express burns the peppers so bad that you would think about eating them. And there's so much oil in it that it just slides out of you without that. I mean, I still think that happens to you. I mentioned eating that habanero. That to me is still one of the most painful spice experiences I've ever had.
Yeah, so tell me about this habanero. Like you just saw habanero and you're like, no, no, I think I started you. Red-full masochist. Did I never tell? I never told you this. Basically it was around the time I said, right? I became obsessed with spicy food. Yeah. Like, yeah. So I was like, I had this mo of this move thing where I was like, if it's not spicy, why eat it? So it's like everything I had, I put hot sauce on it, right? What happened in your childhood?
I always liked spicy food, but then it got like it got really ramped up when I was probably like 20. But I never had digestive issues from it. So it was like never a problem. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember I would make my soup so spicy that it was like borderline inedible. And I was like, okay, I got to like, I was like pushing the boundaries.
And then I was like, I wonder what a habanero tastes like. I've never had a habanero because I was eating, I was eating jalapenos. My brother and I would get them and we were just like, you live in Canada. I can't imagine there's a big growing season for when it's so fucking cool. Yeah. For habaneros. We would, we would get them at like restaurants forever. I'm like, oh, they're like just good. They're not that hot. Yeah. Actually, I'm not habaneros. No, the jalapenos. Okay. I was going to say, habaneros always fucking.
No, no, it was. And we would get them at Costco where they were like actually pretty spicy with the seeds. And so my brother and I would always get like these really, we'd make our hot dogs stacked with them. But I was like, you know what? I got to upgrade. I got to do habanero. So I went with my brother at like 945, 15 minutes before the grocery store closed and I'm like, I got to get a habanero.
I picked it up, got it. We were driving in the car and I told my brother, I'm like, I'm not waiting till I get home. So I ate it. I ate the habanero. I chewed it and then I was like, oh, this is nothing. And then I swallowed it. And then as I'm driving, I'm like, oh, this is not done. And then by the time I got home, I remember, I remember.
being like concerned, like, cause I had never had anything that spicy. I'd go into the house and my mom's like, what's wrong? I'm like, I feel like someone's stabbing me in the mouth. Like it's just pain. And it went on for like, I want to say like an hour and then I was good. And that was at 10 something. I went to bed at like midnight. And then it was at like six in the morning. I woke up and now the stabbing pain was in my stomach. It was like your small intestine is the first intestine, right?
Yeah. From I'm not a scientist, but I swear to God, I've heard something that says that you don't feel like there's no nerve endings in your small. Oh, maybe. Yeah. There is maybe stomach, but I think I think for some reason, you want your esophagus or your doughy. I think there's a part of your intestine that you don't really feel things. Like, why does it hurt the closer it gets to coming out?
I don't know. I mean, I've had like, if you've ever had a stomach ache before, you feel like in your intestines, is it? No, I mean, well, if you really got to take a crap, you feel it in your intestines. If you have like, yeah. I think it's like the last part of your intestines. Maybe it's like, which part of your intestines is most sensitive to pain is.
All I know is that that stabbing pain. I remember it was I felt I felt like the heat of the habanero moving through my whole body. Yeah. And like when it was like when they like make you drink this thing before you get like a radiation like a cat scan or something.
Yeah, it was like the contrast. I just felt it like moving. For the barium, yeah. And the, all I remember was at the time, I said, so I was like, I got to go to the bathroom. I was like, I, you know, I was like, I don't know if anything's going to happen. But all I know is I can't sleep like this. This is like, I'm up. So I remember just going to the bathroom. And it was so painful.
Oh yeah. I did. I never told you this. Not the second half. The second half was so painful. 10 X the first half like the first experience. My legs went numb.
And I remember, I remember literally, I smacked my leg. It was so painful. Wait, were you just sitting on a toilet for like hours? Maybe that's why they were not. No, no, no, it was like 20 minutes. But it was just like, my legs went numb. And I actually remember being in so, it was so painful that I think up until that, it traumatized me. I don't eat spicy food anymore. I just want to, I want to make an observation. PTSD from one habanero.
Never. Well, yeah, fucking one habanero tears your ass. This like this. You were like the spicy food aficionado and then it all actually took was one habanero to. You're like a fucking cod player who's like, yeah, I would do so good in real war and then you find yourself in real war.
Like I told you, I said, I never had digestive issues. I want to say this quick. I never had digestive issues. So I was a veteran of having spicy food in my mouth, but I had never experienced it elsewhere. And I was shocked. That's not a digestive issue. That's a digestive feature of eating spicy food.
She was fun to share shooting back. Yeah. I also didn't shoot the habanero fully because I have never, I have never in my life seen a fucking habanero in the wild in a restaurant. They're always that's true in the food. Yeah. Blended. I have never seen a habanero used as any form for any form of like pickling or garnish. Like I think they do the kitchens. It's like it's like hiding a grenade from a baby.
Like don't even give people the option to eat a pickled ring of habanero. That's, because I think in Skoville units, they average like 10, maybe more like 20 to 30 X, like have 300,000 or something, right? Yeah, exactly. Like they're orders of magnitude more spicy than have a habanero. So does that mean that there's orders of magnitude more capsaicin in them?
I think he's just I mean, it's got a delivery. Like there's a lot of factors, though. Yeah, because like pure capsaicin is not that spicy if you eat it because it's so oily. But if you even if you dilute it in ethanol, it's worse. What if you were to put soap in it? What would happen? I mean, I would just taste really bad. Yeah, but I mean, I can't imagine it's like a spiciness wouldn't come through. We didn't get more or less spicy.
I think the more you get it, it can interact with water challenge. Yeah. Sorry. Hide pod, little nitro challenge. Oh, that's what you're saying. You can do it with like some surfactant that's more edible. Yeah. But you think it's like a small makes it way spicier. That's the what would like ethanol. If you dissolve into a carrier, it's so or an oil. It's because otherwise it can't.
It's like a wax. Normal capsaicin is like very hydrophobic. What does soap do? It doesn't dissolve. It will actually soap. I mean, soap encapsulates it so it might not make it, but it allows it to go into water, which then allows it to diffuse into your like taste buds and your nerves and you can actually
It's like a galaxy gas recipe, one teaspoon of Don dish soap, one. Oh, have you ever had like spicy wings or anything like that? And then maybe had like a shot of alcohol or like a strong drink? It is definitely bad. Or like, or like even use mouthwash like at your home. Like, dude, it can be like an hour later after something spicy and like, you know, mouthwash or a shot, it'll come back. It's been. Yeah. Huh? It's like hiding somewhere in your mouth.
Yeah, yeah, like it's still like on your tongue, but like, that's what you're saying. Yeah. It's like a sensitivity thing where you like your, your taste buds or your nerve endings and your tongue. It's like, there's such a small amount, but the alcohol like soluble solid is solvent. So it's like all instantly becomes like available to enter your tongue and your. It could be that you're like mouth still irritated from the capsaicin.
I don't know. Maybe like an open wound. Yeah, again. Salting wound. But that's why I find like even like habanero, for example, just people. It's like, oh, it's a few hundred K. Scoville units. But then I've had pure capsaicin and habanero is worse because obviously probably amount the amount of capsaicin I had doesn't match up perfectly. But there's it's like it's carried in all the oils and everything. And it's the habanero so filled with water that it kind of just like fills your mouth up.
Yeah, Kevin was saying it just immediately. I don't know. It's like a mixture of oil and water that it you feel it, but it also lingers. So if you eat a habanero, it hurts for probably like 30 minutes to an hour. But if you eat pure capsaicin, it's like probably five to 10 minutes.
There's probably different like isomers or whatever of capsaicin. Exactly. Yeah. They just like stick around for longer. Some of them. I don't know. There's like a weird, different affinity. The food spiciness lasts so much longer and it's so much worse than like fake spice. Yeah. Like a little nitro is gone. The little nitro is impressive. It's stuck around for, I can still feel it. Really? Momes just a little bit, but yeah. I still have like a weird head buzz from it. Yeah.
A years ago when I was in my, again, my science slash capsaicin phase. It feels like it opened up all the blood vessels. Something. Yeah. Yeah. I said that my fascination was alcohol and spiciness, but my real goal was I wanted to make 100% ethanol. He was like, what a drug arc or the bar for the bomb. So I made a hundred, I was able to make a hundred percent ethanol and then I put a ghost chili pepper in it.
I don't even have a kind of reference for what that means. It extracts all of the capsaicin, but then it's 100% ethanol. It just rips you apart. If you taste it, it gives you horrible heartburn, but then it just fills the capsaicin. Could you make a hot sauce that has ethanol in it? Then you also warm it up. Then you put an MRE warmer on it. It's like you have to prepare it a very specific way.
Wait, maybe you could, could you make denatured alcohol that was just filled with capsaicin instead of other bitterness or methanol? Would that be? Would that be lethal? So brutally spicy? I bet it would be. Why would it not be? It's not. But we use it because it's rubbing alcohol. You just your skin burns. No, it's for for fuel use only. I don't know.
Being behind that car. You're like monster gas. The gas stations have become so spicy. He thought the fucking leaded gas was bad. Welcome to 2025.
The capsaicin's potent enough that if you probably started putting it in your car, the fumes from if it was mixed in with gasoline, like the fumes of the capsaicin would just. Is there a genre of video? Yeah. Is there a genre of video that you can do that's like I put capsaicin in my lawnmower and this is what happened.
Yeah, you use a clip right now of Nigel saying like I bet even a little bit of capsace and you could smell in the exhaust well How much capsace and can I put I tested now I don't I don't I meant like the fumes. I don't think it would make it through your vehicle
You don't think so? Not even, you don't think any would survive? I bet someone would survive. Like a lawnmower, something that's like really shitty combustion. It would definitely survive when you first started the car. It's a fragile molecule. It's not like, I mean, because I know that- It's pretty fucking strong, if my ass has any say. Like you can't, you can't distill it without, not under vacuum. Otherwise it degrades. And that's only like 200 and something C.
How hot is exhaust? Like a thousand C. The engine runs. It makes a catalytic converter. No, no, I mean, like a lawnmower. I don't know. It's got to be wiggly. I bet when you're first trying to start it though. Yeah. What else could you put? Actually, this would be a great idea. You could put some drops of capsaicin extract in like a fog machine under what that would do. Probably bad. Exactly what you think it would do.
Uh, oh yeah. I was going to ask, how did you make the 200 proof ethanol? Like what was what? Come on. What's your secret, bro? Nuclear thieves. Uh, you just fractionally distill it up to like the easy trouble, 95, whatever, 95 and 96. And he's dropped molecular sibs in. Okay. Sibs. Nothing. Kevin's like, eh, actually, I mean, I, I thought that what I mean, that's literally what you have to do or some like weird salts or something.
You know what I didn't. That's what I say I do, right? When people go to drink it, I'm like, don't worry. Like I just distilled a little bit of dust in there. Great molecular sieves. I actually, um, uh, asiotropically distilled it with benzene. No. You did those a lab ethanol method. It's such an old method that like nobody will reasonably do that.
Yeah, but I mean, it's still people still believe it to this day because they're like, oh, you know, don't drink lab ethanol because it's distilled with benzene. Even though they don't, I don't think they do that anymore. I don't think they, I don't think they do it. Yeah. I don't think I wouldn't stop me anyway. I mean, they might. There is a chance that they do it industrially. There is a chance I wouldn't know though. What happens if you drink benzene? Good time. I mean, you wouldn't know the thing for like probably 20 years.
Oh, that's great. I'm sure you could get away with that. I'm sure you could get away with it a lot. People drink. You can't get away with it at least once. I mean, how much benzene would be in there? For me? Like, yeah, probably. No, not since. Couldn't be more than six. Maybe even a half. Yeah, one half of one benzene. Yeah, it could be. Whoa, that'd be protein. One half of one benzene.
Uh, yeah. What do you think of recording a fast extra Nigel? Uh, that lasts like what? I don't know. 30 minutes? 30 minutes? I'm 30 minutes is fine, yeah. No, like Nigel though. I'll go for like 12 hours. Wait, why do I make it go longer? Thanks for watching!
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