Side Effects of Disconnecting from Instagram
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January 29, 2025
TLDR: This podcast discusses finding peace and balance amid hyperconnectivity, battling FOMO when unplugging.

In this week’s episode of the Small Doses Podcast, host Amanda Seales dives deep into the significant effects of unplugging from Instagram, highlighting the rediscovery of peace, the battle against FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and the search for balance in an increasingly hyperconnected world. This discussion resonates with many who have felt overwhelmed by social media’s impact on personal well-being.
The Reality of Internet Engagement
Instagram has become a pervasive part of many people’s lives, often leading to a false sense of reality. Amanda discusses how social media has created a variety of social etiquettes and norms that can sometimes foster a lack of humanity and civility.
Key Points:
- False Sense of Reality: Many individuals convince themselves that their social media engagement is less impactful than it truly is.
- Civility Erosion: Social media can foster environments where incivility thrives, leading to an unhealthy online culture.
Reflections on Cultural Renaissance
Amanda remarks on the cultural renaissance that social media, particularly platforms like Twitter and Instagram, has fostered, especially within Black communities. She discusses how these platforms previously served as a vibrant space for artistic innovation and creative expression.
Highlights:
- The transition from MySpace to Instagram offered a natural evolution in social media engagement.
- Creatives have utilized Instagram to transform their careers, turning spontaneous ideas into successful projects.
The Shift in Social Media Dynamics
Reflecting on her journey, Amanda describes how Instagram transitioned from a space of community to a battleground where arguments and negativity dominate. Significant moments, such as contentious debates and personal experiences, illustrate this shift.
Core Insights:
- Increase in Online Trolling: Engaging in debates with trolls using pseudonyms has become common, stirring frustration and self-doubt.
- Self-Protection Strategies: Amanda discusses the importance of self-protection in the face of relentless negativity online.
The Decision to Disconnect
October 7 marked a turning point for Amanda. Amid escalating global conflicts and a polarity of opinions on social media, she faced challenges that highlighted the need for personal space away from toxic online interactions.
Takeaways:
- Self-Reflection: Disconnecting from Instagram allowed Amanda to reassess her values and engagement in the digital world.
- Mental Well-Being: Removing the constant barrage of negativity has resulted in profound positive changes.
Navigating Guilt Post-Disconnect
Amanda acknowledges that many who disengage from social media often feel guilt regarding their participation in social issues. This guilt stems from an ingrained sense of obligation to remain informed and engage with important global matters.
Practical Advice:
- Know Your Worth: Understand that personal well-being is paramount, and real activism can take many forms beyond social media engagement.
- Find Balance: Seek alternatives to consuming news and engaging with social issues through more personal and impactful avenues.
Closing Thoughts
As Amanda closes the episode, she reflects on her journey to a more meaningful existence away from social media. By discovering how to cultivate a community grounded in empathy and compassion, she embraces a future focused on authenticity and intellectual engagement.
Final Recommendations:
- Choose Your Spaces Wisely: Prioritize environments that foster positivity and intellectualism.
- Self-Care is Key: Recognize the importance of stepping back to protect your mental health amid societal pressures.
In conclusion, this episode offers insights into the importance of self-care, the impact of social media interaction, and the benefits of stepping away from platforms like Instagram for personal growth and peace of mind.
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Welcome to another episode of Small Doses Podcast. This episode is going to be, we're not going to gem drop. We're not going to have like all the different segments. We will have questions, but really this episode is me getting to talk to y'all about changes.
side effects of leaving Instagram. Now, for some people, that may seem like, okay, Amanda, you're being very... Why is this so dramatic? But I think for others, they understand that this metaverse has really wrapped us up.
It's really pulled a lot of us in in like a very real way. And I think some of us don't admit to ourselves how real it is the way that it has wrapped us up. And we tell ourselves, no, like, I mean, it's real, but like it's real in its own way, you know, like it's the internet, like it has its own rules, it has its own, da, da, da, da, da, da.
And we somehow have created this false sense of etiquette about that space. We've also created a false sense of enablement in that space. There's a certain level of literal, complete lack of humanity and civility that is decidedly acceptable within the Internet and within social media. And this is the type of thing that used to really only exist in certain spaces, right? I remember there was the dark web, and that was where the people would go to be terrible people.
And then the dark web clawed itself out of the darkness coming out of the dark.
to then exist in the Reddit space, right? So then people would be like, oh, Reddit is where people are just like so real. Oh my gosh. And then I remember when it took over Twitter. This is pre-Elon, okay? I remember when Twitter was a nice place of witty people, of people seeking community and information in a different format, of folks who would come together to watch Olivia Pope put on her white hat.
Remember when we were at Scandal together? Remember when we would watch award shows together? I remember the night that I found out that Gaga could really actually sing. Like I had bought into that like Lady Gaga was some just like pop BS without having ever really heard her music. And I remember I made the misstep of saying something to that effect on the Twitters during a VMA. And when I tell you the kids came for me, but it was a necessary coming for me because I was wrong and Gaga is a beast.
Gaga is Gaga. So that was a time. That was a time. I mean, I'm in the Black Twitter docu series on Hulu and the Black Twitter docu series is dope because it really just kind of sufficiently puts together some of the greatest moments in Black Twitter history. My favorite being one Paula Deen was
Actually, there's three. There's one, when people were making quality recipes, two, when people were doing hood PhD, like hood theses, like hood doctorates. It wasn't even hood. It was just like black doctorates, but like AAVE vocally. And then there was the third one, which was Jesus in high school. And I just wish someone could find the Jesus in high school tweets for me, because I remember just Kaka Ling, the genius, the genius.
I mean, I have to ask myself like sometimes like, what really became the allure? And I will say that I have said quite often that when people tell me like, oh, there's a black renaissance on TV, there's a black renaissance in film, I'm like, get the fuck out of here. No, there isn't. I mean, there are black people doing dope things in both those spaces, but a renaissance, you know how much it has to be popping off or a renaissance to be happening?
And to me, that is within the social media space that we see or saw a black renaissance. And I've considered a renaissance because it's like a multifaceted layer of artistic innovation and elevation of creative thought.
that is expanding, right? So within the internet space, we can say that because simultaneously, we see people who are literally just like casually at work making shit that goes super duper viral, whether it's a dance or a meme or a song, then you have people who normally would have had to wait to try and get a record deal to try and get their music heard are now able to go completely, I guess, internet platinum.
on SoundCloud and whatnot. I mean, I just heard about some song that went viral where this guy was talking about like the rich man and rich man. I need y'all to know that the song went viral and I have never heard the song, okay? I just heard about recently that this song went viral. The man was on the Joe Rogan podcast, like apparently this song was talked about at the Republican National Committee. I ain't never heard the song. That's how expansive the internet was. This man's whole life was changed and I ain't never heard the song.
never heard the song. But back to like the Black Twitter renaissance of things, like the internet space, even as people visual art, right? People being able to expand the reach of their visual art. You know, I can go on and on about this because I really, if I wasn't already going to do a thesis on anthropology, I would do my thesis on this because I really believe it. I'm sure somebody else is doing it. So who knows to them?
But I say all that to say that that is what I think really enthralled me and really initially got me so interspersed and ensconced, if you will, into the internets of it all. And I initially was brought to the internets. I was initially brought to Twitter by Questlove. So that was in 2008. He was like, hey, you should get on this Twitter thing.
I can't remember why I got on Instagram, but it felt like I think it was just like, that was like the natural course of action. And I remember distinctly having a conversation with myself in a mirror about like, if you really want to advance things, you're going to have to get a bit narcissistic with this thing because
It was like people really wanted selfies. People really just wanted to know about you, which I thought was silly. Like, I still, I've never gotten over the fact that like people were really posting their plates. Y'all was really posting pictures of your food. Y'all were really doing it. I never did it. Of course, somebody's gonna find it. Somebody's gonna go back like seven years in my Instagram right now and be like, say you did do it. You're a liar. You're a fraud.
And I am not, if I did post something, I wonder what it was. But nonetheless, if I did post it was probably because I felt pressured by the environments to have to do it. Cause I'm telling you, I never felt comfortable doing selfies. I never felt comfortable doing like videos into the camera. Like I'd never actually really felt comfortable with that. I had to make a decision to get comfortable with it if I was going to be on this goddamn app. And if I was going to, I guess play the game, so to speak.
which is not something I've ever been about. And this was back when I had a whole other name. This is when I was Amanda Diva. And I forged forward. And, you know, we saw my space come and go. And we saw Instagram expand. And I could never seem to crack YouTube. I used to do a web series called DivaSpeak TV. We would post it every week on YouTube. I also did a web series called In Amanda We Trust. We would post every week on YouTube faithfully.
Never cracked. Never seemed to get the YouTubers. I was never one of those people that was like, I'm making millions off of YouTube.
Never. I remember Adrian by law would be like, yeah, like I'm on the real, but a lot of it is just to like keep my YouTube going. And I would be like, what is she talking about only to find out like, Oh, because that's a whole stream of income for folks. Cause I never experienced that. Try my damn just never did it. And I will never try again. But Instagram kind of just became this place that I seemed to grow with as it grew and things started to shift and expand.
So remember, originally, like we could only post pictures, then you could post videos where videos were only 15 seconds, then they expanded to 30 seconds, then they've had stories, you know, so like over the course of time, you could just express more.
And I will say that Instagram was very, very helpful during this path in actually being the catalyst for a lot of things that I've created. Like, I literally wrote Mobetta Wu, where I took the Wu Tang records and turned them into jazz with now Grammy, Oscar Emmy award-winning composer Chris Bowers.
We did that because I was like bullshitting on my Instagram one night and I was like singing like jazz renditions of Wu Tang Records and people were like, you should do something with that. And I was like, okay. And then I thought about it. And then I hit a Q-tip and I was like, who would I do this with? Who do you think I should do this with? And he suggested two people. I can't even remember who the other person was, but one of them was Chris Bowers. And I was like, can you put us in touch? And then I like hit Chris and said, you know, what do you think? He was like, yep.
And then we did it, we wrote it, we performed it, we've done it at the Kennedy Center. Great times, great times. I say all that to say that this space was not always so contentious.
And I don't think some of you all know that. I don't think some of you all know that this Instagram, that Instagram space, I should say, was not always this place where people were so committed to undermining, to arguing to what they consider debate, but is it really debate if you don't know what the fuck you're talking about? No, it's not debate. It's just you, boy, at work.
That's what it is. And then you find yourself arguing with somebody whose name is like, Jesus ate my shorts 25. And you're like, what are we doing? What are we doing with my life? What is this? Did I really spend all this money on these degrees to do this? No.
Did my mother really like, when her water broke, did she mop it up before she went to the hospital? So I could sit here and argue with somebody whose Instagram photo is a duck smoking a cigar or vaping duck. I definitely had somebody hit me that had the vaping duck as their Instagram icon. No, she didn't. So like those are like the self checks that you have to do these days. But back in the day, it was not that. It was not that.
I found myself really seeing a change in 2017. So 2017, Katy Perry was putting out this album and it was called Witness. Is it 2017? 2018? What is time? What is time? I think it was, yes, it was 2017, it was 2017. So it was 2017, Katy Perry put out this album called Witness.
And she wanted to do like a big brother style thing for the promo. So she was gonna be in like a house for three days where the cameras would be on for three days. And then over the course of those three days, she would have different dinners and also different guests. And it was honestly kind of like what Ty, what's the dude who always has the sleepovers now? I forgot his name, but he's a pop and streamer. Like it's what he does now. Like basically she was doing that for this like promo for her album.
And so she had like one dinner that was like for women, like it was all about women. And then I think she had another dinner that was like just like her buddies. And then they were having a dinner called like a dinner with friends.
And I get this phone call asking me if I will come attend this dinner. And they were like, you know, Katie wants to do a dinner where people are all brought together to the table that have very differing opinions because she wants to show her fans that you can have differing opinions and keep it civil because basically her and her parents had voted differently in the election. And
she was going to be going home for the first time at Thanksgiving and not knowing how it would be at the dinner table because her parents have voted for Trump and she have voted for Hillary. And so she wanted to demonstrate for her fans that you can put a bunch of different people who have different political opinions, et cetera, at the table, and they'll still get along, or they'll still figure it out.
So they were like, but we want you to come because we know that everybody else is going to be polite and fake and we know that you're not going to be. So would you be down to come? And I was like, well, who else is going to be at this dinner? Who are going to be there? Y'all are asked the question, who are going to be there? Who are going to be there?
So they listed off names, you know, they listed like on a Navarro, Katie, of course, if you hear noise, it's because people are working in my house. Damn, why am I blanking on the names of people who were there? Van Jones. Van Jones.
Margaret Cho was there. There was another journalist there. Sally Cone was like a, she was somebody on MSNBC at the time. There was also like a DJ there, DJ. I can't remember his name. And then Caitlyn Jenner.
And when we all sat at the table, like there was no place settings. So like everybody just sat where they sat. It wasn't like Tiffany's dinner party on and secure. And everyone sat where they sat and I ended up sitting across from Caitlin, which
Those are moments where I'm like, you're telling me there ain't some higher force at work. And I end up sending a cross from Caitlin. And the conversation goes a bunch of different places that I was not interested in really being a part of. One of the places that it was talking about, you know, you had a lot of conversation about people like saying,
Everyone should get their voice heard. I think all of you already heard this story, so I'm not going to rehash this story. But nonetheless, at the dinner, Caitlyn came out her face with some bullshit as we would expect as someone who has lived as a privileged white man for the duration of their life. And she was like, you know, I will not allow for our president to be referred to as Hitler.
Because I was telling them in 2017 that Trump was trying to be the next Hitler. I say everything he's doing is attempting to be a fascist. That is everything he is doing is attempting to establish fascist rule. And they were like, you're taking things too far. He's not walking people to gas chambers. And I'm like,
You know, the third Reich didn't start with gas chambers. There's a process, people, and this is the process. The process begins with creating vigilantes amongst your followers and emboldening them to feel that they need to do whatever it takes to protect you, which is now protecting them.
That's part of laying the groundwork of fascism. It's feeling like you are the only thing that is protecting them from the boogeyman. Thus, they have to do whatever it takes to protect you, which means if you sick them on somebody at your rally, they'll do it because you're, you know, grandma of Tarkin or whatever.
So long story short, I ended up checking Caitlin at the dinner and I remember leaving the dinner and someone had like cut a minute from this dinner, posted it on the internet on YouTube to this day. I don't even know who did this. And it went super duper viral.
It went viral to the point where I ended up jumping from 44,000 followers to like 175,000 followers literally overnight. And then it just kept going over the course of the week. Like I had to get a publicist.
And that changed my life, that changed my life. Because in that is when my Instagram went from, oh, like this is this chick who just be on here talking to, oh, this is somebody who really is bad about it because she's not going to change depending on what table she's sitting at, literally. So from that point, I started really taking my Instagram more seriously.
in terms of just knowing kind of like there was like a higher expectation of what I needed to be putting on there and putting out. And we blink.
And it's BLM. Now between that time, I did a comedy special. I did two more seasons of insecure. I did a tour. I put out a book. I had this podcast right here, Small Doses. I mean, there was so much going on. So that was really a wild time.
During this time is also when the whole situation where I verbalized that women had come and told me that an individual that I was speaking about on, I didn't even say this person's name and they already knew who I was talking about. But people came in my DMs and were like, this person has been propped in life with me in these ways and they showed me text messages and it was intense. And then I verbalized this on the internet and it turned into this whole crazy situation where
I was lied on, you know, to this day. I was lied on about, you know, I have been accused of falsely accusing a man of sexual assault. Someone that I never accused of sexual assault.
Never. And people will like literally stand on this and boldly be like, you did it. You did it. And I'm like, show me. Show me where. Show me where I accuse this man of sexual assault. And sometimes they'll even just go as far as to say, you accuse him of rape. You falsely accuse him of rape. You lied about it. And I'm like, one, show me where I accuse him of rape. And then two, show me where I lied. I need both.
So this was my first real experience with Instagram going left. Because when I went viral with the Caitlin thing, there was not one ounce of that that was negative, literally not one. I did not get one negative message, I did not get one person being like, you should have respected her, nothing. It was an anomaly.
And I would say 2018 was like a golden year for me. If there's such a thing, a golden year for me on Instagram because it was when like, I had like a series of things that I was just like casually saying actually like, I hate using the term go viral because I just feel like it's so obnoxious, but it's accurate. Like,
I be knowing. I said that. And I started saying that and people started saying that. So I would go and do stand up and people would actually like know this. That's why it ended up being the name of my special. Then you have got me fucked up. I mean, that literally just came out of I was standing in my kitchen and somebody had sent me like unsolicited dick pics.
And I was like, it's got me fucked up. And I remember chance the rapper hitting me like, yo, this is a hit. And I was like, well, guess I got to make a song. That's when Roseanne had gotten called out for being racist. And I made a video with a song. You got the wrong one, bitch. You got the wrong one. Like the Ditties? Like my 2018 era Instagram Ditties, I really would love to make an album at some point.
And I actually do like a whole medley at the beginning of my documentary in Amanda We Trust. After that, 2019, the whole situation with that dude happened and Instagram forever changed for me.
And then 2020 took place, and Black Lives Matter took place, and we were all stuck inside. And it seems like for a lot of people, my criticism of what was taking place, my insights helped get them through that time, and I had no idea. I had no idea. Because I was trying to get through that time.
And that was the first time that I really experienced that space being so, it was simultaneously contentious and also informative and also interactive. And that was then the next iteration of being in this Instagram space as a quote unquote influencer, which I never set out to be.
and never set out to be an influencer. And now that I've done this entire track record of like being on Instagram, I guess I should get to the part about leaving Instagram. So October 7th last year was a very big turning point because for many people, Israel and Palestine existed as nothing actually.
For many people, this was not anything in their consciousness. It was not anything in their sight guys. Like no one around them was ever talking about this. The word Zionist probably sounded more like a character on Transformers, you know, like the Zionist Decepticons type shit. But after October 7th, we saw a groundswell of folks that were like, oh my gosh, like I'm defending Israel, et cetera, et cetera. And I was one of the few that was like, no.
This is not good what happened. However, this is a response. This is a response. This is not the beginning. And people started coming for me and coming for anybody who was speaking that way. Here we are a year and change later. And I think many have come to understand that we were right on that day. And I remember making a call to Mark Lamont Hill and asking him like,
where is this going to go for me?" And he was like, oh, like you're going to get blacklisted. And he knows because it's happened to him.
And I had to just make a decision on if I was gonna be quiet or gnaw. Like I said about the Caitlyn Jenner thing, I'm sitting at every table saying what needs to get said. So that was never gonna happen. And in this last year, since that time, there has been so many very direct and coordinated efforts to destabilize, disrupt and dismantle my mental state, my work,
discredit my voice. And it has by no means been simply just within the context of Palestine. So once I started seeing this and the trajectory of this, I said to myself, man, like, this is no longer the space that it was when I got here.
because in my Instagram experience, it's like you're on your page and you're saying what you say and people come to your page and they either say something or they don't. Now in 2021, I literally cut off all my comments because I was like, fuck y'all, because that's when it started to become nasty and people will be nasty in the comments and mean as shit in the comments. And then y'all, not y'all, but like people would literally just like watch it happen, but then be like, oh, like I'm a fan, et cetera, et cetera. When I was on the reel, like people will be,
Unbelievable. Unbelievable. The level of meanness.
The level of meanness that I've experienced in just the Instagram space alone, I don't think any of y'all could manage it. It's so wild when y'all will say things like, oh, just forget the haters. It's like, you don't know what the fuck a hater is, okay? A hater is somebody who's like, you know, doubting your capabilities because either they're jealous or they're insecure or, you know, because they're projecting. That's a hater. That's different than a fucking terrorist.
an internet terrorist. There's people who wake up every day, crack their knuckles, drink their coffee, and set to setting their own demons onto the fiber optic spirits and souls of everybody else. That's a real thing that this world has created.
Because the world and technology and industry continuously creates like new forms of parasitic beings and viruses that don't just exist as like microbials. They exist in like human behavior. We are AI. You know that, right? Like our brains are AI. Like we learn through pattern and through experience. Like that's how our brains function.
They created an AI Twitter and the AI Twitter in 24 hours became a racist, misogynist piece of shit because it had learned from Twitter how to exist. So we as humans, that's what we're doing. We're learning how to exist and we're continuing to do so within the confines of spaces that continue to give us new ways to exist in horrible ways.
So the internet literally fostered this new way of existing that is a whole other version of being a shitty ass motherfucker. And so when these people wake up every day and they will come find your page, and on my page, you gotta follow me to even do shit. So there's a whole step that they gotta take to then just be mean ass motherfuckers. And that alone, that alone would make you say, you know what, I'm a head out.
ahead out because who needs this? But you feel like you need it because there's this whole world now that's been created that says that like you have to be on here or else. You have people who will say to you, you know, your commentary is so necessary, your information, I get my news from you and you feel compelled, you feel obligated to have to show up every day for free to do what mainstream media is not doing.
which is being honest, and objective, and insightful, and factual. And you take on this mantle, but if you're not honest with yourself, that mantle has a certain level of egoism in it. It does. It's not to say that you're not doing it for a good reason, but ultimately, there is a part of it that's just like this, because I have to do it or else, no one else will. Please, please.
And that is informed, of course, by people encouraging you in that way, but it's not to say that it's not a real feeling. And you have to check yourself.
Now, when I did the Club Shae Shae interview and people started coming from my whole mother fucking neck about a myriad of things, thank you to all of y'all who didn't, who actually understood what was happening on there. But when the autism stuff came out, that is also when
It was like the effort to discredit is so insatiable. It became insatiable. And I'm like, what the fuck am I out here doing that got y'all so ramped up to just try to shut me up? I must be doing something effective because otherwise I would just ignore me. But I became the nigga you let of hate.
And in that process, in that time, there was some shifting that was happening with me internally, because I'm sitting here talking to my therapist, and she's like, you need to be practicing self-protection. And I couldn't discern. It was like I was trying to figure out like, what does self-protection look like in this context? And essentially what I realized is that self-protection in this context means removing you from this context, because you cannot protect yourself from weapons that you can't see.
Ultimately, I mean, you just can't. And that's what this space became. It became a barrage of like psychological weapons that I couldn't see.
You know, then you like find out like the lady living two doors down from me is posting, you know, all this anti-Semitic shit and associating it with me, ma'am, do not. And you come to really realize that as an individual, you are really, really tasked with being smart for yourself. You are making choices. So often we act like we're not, but we are. We're making choices. And I was making a choice to continue to keep going back
to a space that was actively expelling me. Even to the next level, when Instagram itself decided to shadow ban my page and label it as Amanda Seals is known for spreading misinformation and disinformation.
By the way, I take that as a badge of honor. Because I was like, they really let me get away with keeping it all the way a book. And they got rid of strong king, and they shook down, so I'll Williams for a second, and Ahmed Eldin, and Nora Edekat, and they were really getting on people's heads.
I mean, the beautiful thing that I will say that I took from Instagram is that I got connected to so many people algorithmically that share similar values to me. And it's part of the transition that happens is realizing that it's not about simply just connecting with people culturally. It's not about simply connecting with people traditionally or because you have the same race or gender because y'all got kids, et cetera. It's values at the end of the day. It's values and empathy.
And whether the algorithm meant to or not, that's what it did. It connected me to so many people that had similar values and empathy that I had. And it forever shifted the circle of people I even allow in my circle of people. And I will say that by being able to connect to Palestine and Palestinians in this way, it also forever shifted me internally. And that internal shift is what allowed me to realize, oh, I have to get out of here.
because this is no longer a space of cultivation. Okay, like if you're planting seeds, right? And you're trying to grow them. You don't mind people coming through like, oh, hey, like you misplanted this one. Oh, hey, like, you know, let me water this differently. So it's more effective. You don't mind that. But that's not like what's happening on Instagram. This space has been cultivated to keep people there to make it money.
It's not doing that considering the people. It's going to do that no matter what it takes. And I was just watching this neuroscientist talk about how for some reason the human brain is really responsive to fear.
to shame, to anxiousness, and so things that encourage that keep us entwined. And if you notice, that's what is existing in this space. Unless you really, really tailor your fee to only give you bunnies and koalas, that's what you're getting.
And it's to the point now where I see people on trend wanting to share information and the way that they will hook you for the information is by starting off by just randomly referencing someone in a toxic fashion just to bring you in because that's what's bringing people in. If you start with, I want to give you all some information about Kamala Harris. People are like, but if you start with, this is just for so and so because they obviously need to know, then people.
People are hooked in because they want a Maco, which is a great Indian word for gossip. So it took a lot of self-awareness to be able to say, this is not for you, but for also for me to say, you have been perpetuating this.
you have been perpetuating this. And there was a post that Kiki Palmer had put up. It was like a gallery show or like a swipe. You know, I forgot what the kids call it. And in it was a picture of her baby and the baby's father who we all know ain't shit. And I think I had said something like, I don't know what I said. I said something referencing like, this is interesting, something like that. But people were like, you didn't have to say nothing. You could have just said something nice. And I was like, I mean, this is the internet. Like if you're going to post it, like people are going to say something.
I'd become one of them. I had let the space determine my behavior in a way that was disconnected from the way I be behaving, like in the world. So I had become someone different in the quote unquote fucking metaverse than the real universe. Cause I don't do that in real life. Gotta let it go. You need to cut it.
had to cut it, had to winnow it, winnow it out. And I cannot express to you all how different life is without it. And I feel sorry for the folks who continuously are connected to it knowing that they hate it because they're not wrong. I get it. Like you do need these spaces. Like when you're applying for jobs at this point, like they ask you how many followers you have. What? No.
So let's go to some DMT questions from Zippy Bill. First question, this is a paragraph.
Do you ever feel guilt for disconnecting from Instagram or not posting on the genocide? If so, how do you reconcile it? I have also disconnected and since then I get these thoughts that I'm not doing enough. Sometimes I will go on my IG account just to catch up on the latest news or updates from Palestinian Journeys or Al Jazeera, but we'll feel guilty if I view and do not post or engage on the app.
So I do feel guilty. Look at that. Like I literally looked down when I said it. I do feel guilty sometimes. I also know that there's more that I can do besides just posting. I think in my specific case, I was so committed
like every day, every day, every day, like I was so committed to the point where like I lost my livelihood that I do feel like, okay, that was then and now like what's the next, right? And when you're saying that, you know, you wonder if you're not doing enough, we're not doing enough. So you can just stop wondering that like we're not doing enough.
I mean, that's a fact. Even if you were posting on Instagram, it wouldn't be doing enough. We're not doing enough. If we were doing enough, we would not pay our taxes. Like we would literally disrupt the flow of shit. If we were doing enough, and actually, let me just say this, there is no enough. There is no enough because we don't even really have access to shifting to stopping this.
You know? So I don't even know what enough is, but I know that for the Palestinians that I've spoken to and for anyone in situations where they don't feel seen, as long as you are talking about and speaking about and pouring into in whatever spaces you're in, there is a semblance of appreciation.
So even if you're not doing that on Instagram, if you're you're talking to your people, you're talking to your group chat and there is a certain level of like you revitalizing recalibrating and process that is valid. I think that there is something to be said for like kind of like resetting yourselves to be able to find out like what's the next path forward. The beautiful part though is that
It's not just you, like there's a bunch of other people that are doing the work. And so that's the way it's supposed to work, is that they're working and then we're working, we're all working. They're working and we're working and we're all working. Like that's what's supposed to happen. So that like whenever I see pictures of Martin Luther King Jr. in a pool in Jamaica, like I know people are like, when did he have time to do that? Because you have to reset.
You have to. I know that what used to frustrate me was the people who would be like, I just want to pretend like it's not happening. That's not real. That's the problem. Next question. I would say the challenge was that it took me like three times to do it.
Y'all, it took me three times. What in the drug addiction is this? It took me three times. And then I had to just call Turkey it three times. So that surprised me. I did not expect it to be that difficult. But they say that like, you know, it releases dopamine, like there's a whole like chemical connection to like being on these apps and the people who make the apps they know that.
know that. And so they do that. They like actively do it. So, figures that. Yeah, there's that.
And now there's this. We're gonna go to Patreon for these special Patreon section of these questions. So if you're not a Patreon subscriber, this is a good time for you to become one. You can not only listen to ad-free episodes, but you can also watch the episodes and get a whole bunch of other free content that I'm giving, not free, sorry. Love it. But you'd pay $5. You know, you're giving you a whole bunch of other content that exists every day on the Patreon app. So come on over. Let's head on over to the Seal Squad.
The last dose. So I feel very blessed and very fortunate to have realized that I can subsist with just Patreon and my podcast.
I had to make a decision to step away from Instagram and not even make an announcement about it, not talk about it, like, hey guys, I'm gonna step away, like no, just, it was like I went to rehab. And for what it's worth, it is like I went to rehab because this shit is an addiction.
So it is like I went to rehab. And I noticed that I really like, molecularly changed without that space. Cause I'll still go on Instagram for like news and videos and content, but I don't interact with it. And not having to stomach other people's pain all day.
Because that's what trolling is. It's other people's pain. And not having to take that in every day or day really is mind shifting. And it is cellular shifting. And I had tricked myself into thinking that that was my lot and that that is what I should expect.
and that that is what I have to accept for the path that I have taken in life. And guess what? That is what everybody else thinks too. And that's why when Chappell Rowan is like,
Um, hey guys, like I'm not going to accept that. People are like, how dare you? No, I don't know where this came from. This idea that if you have some level of visibility that you are deserving of just detestable in civility, I don't know where it came from, but it's out here. And people have signed up for it. And I have absolutely participated in that. And I've also received it and no more. No more.
And it feels like the end of an era. It does because I know a lot of people have definitely associated me with Instagram. I was on a flight the other day and I had on my mask and the flight attendant says something to me that let me know that he recognized me. And I was like, did you just recognize me? I was like, but I have a mask on. He was like, I see you every day. Yeah. So now I use it only to promote stuff.
And people will ask me like, well, would you go on these other platforms, et cetera? No, I really would love to get back to a more analog interaction. And this feels like it was a time in my life. Like it was a period, it was a phase, it was a window of time. And now that's, it's done. And it took a lot of courage to decide that because it really felt like it was an integral part of my life.
And that's scary to me, that some shit created by a fucking asshole, Mark Zuckerberg, like that's integral to me? No. No. You need to rethink things. And so things have been rethought and
I appreciate everybody who has come to Patreon, who understands that when you are creating and as prolific with content and with thought and with art as I am, that, you know, doing that for free is incredibly exhausting. And that also not just being a patron to that, but also like seeing it as a part of your wellbeing as a part of your elevation. I appreciate that. And I take that very seriously. And it has allowed me
to really just be in a space that is controlled by compassion. The Patreon space for my seal squad is literally a bunch of people who have a high standard of humanity and intellect. And even if they're not like an intellectual, they are interested in things coming from that point of view, right? They're not interested in gossip. They're not interested in base bullshit. They're not interested in low vibrational interactions.
So when people come into that space acting that way, I will say something to them and give them a warning. And then if they still come with it, they get let go. They get blocked. And the people in that space in Patreon also understand that it's their responsibility to also preserve that space. So sometimes before I even say something to somebody, someone would be like, hey, perhaps you should rethink how this was presented because it may have come off in a way that you may have not intentioned, right?
And we're able to do small doses bonus episodes with people in the chat live because it's not this crazy hodgepodge of haters and trollers and good people and fun people that you get when you do a live on Instagram and you have to have a moderator. You have to have a moderator because people are so fucking shitty. No.
It is time for something greater and something more valuable for all of us. And so that's what is taking place on my Patreon at the Seal Squad. And I thank you to everybody who rode with me for all those years on Instagram and who still revisits those posts and who rides with me now at Patreon. And if they can't afford it, at least follows my newsletter, AmandaSeals.com because
I am here for a purpose. I am just now arriving in that purpose. And I know that that time and that space was necessary. And I am now grounded in the next phase. And where it's going to go is artistic intellectualism. And there just ain't no room for that in a place where intellectualism is seen as a nuisance. So onward and upward.
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