Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicom. Welcome to Parent in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe. Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing.
Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with... Atlas, can you say... Oh, thank you. Can you say... Josh Whidicom? Good boy, that's fantastic.
Only one thing we want to talk about there, Rob. Well, the problem is, when someone's called Atlas, I don't expect to charge voices. I expect to hate baby. They're glad he ate her. It's Atlas. Is it? What the redo email? Is that a great name? Is that a great name? Look at that. Atlas must be a great god, mustn't it? I don't know. It could take on the encyclopedia. Britannica.
My name is Leonie, or Leonie, Mumma to Atlas, who was born and currently raised in... I mean, the collection of Mumma, Leonie and Atlas, like the fucking moon. I got no idea.
Howling in Kent. Howling. Oh, it's nice. Oh, it's where that big, there's a big lake where they do aqua climbing stuff in it. Aqua's Atlas's brother.
the youngest siblings to Zeus. Sorry, I love it. No, I don't think so, because I think we're celebrating it, that it's absolutely, she's gone for it. I totally respect it. I'm a stay-at-home mum, as I return to work and could not juggle being... Lead to circus, Ed.
Lovely stuff. Lovely stuff that. What I think is a good mum and excelling in international business industry I was in before. Is that ironic? I think Leonie might write herself. International business. Are we an international business? Yeah.
It's an international podcast. Yeah, I suppose it is, isn't it? Yeah. You've done gigs abroad. I've done two or three. Last legs on telly in Australia in it. I love being Atlas' mama so much and so far. Yeah, mama. Mama. I've faced any real struggles since he was born, but I'm also very aware that the terrible twos are around the corner, so pray for me. Don't need to. You're the mother of her god. Is Atlas a god? So why does that matter? Is she?
God of the world is he? I don't know what that is. Atlas Stones. I'm very conscious about my typing now. I tell you I'll Google on my phone. That'd be quiet, wouldn't it? Atlas is a gender neutral name of Greek origin meaning enduring or to endure. This was the name of the mythical Titan who bore the weight of the world on his shoulders.
That's how your brain feels. Tell me about it. I was trying to find a USBC adapter at nine o'clock this morning. That was the way of the world on my shoulders. Behind you looks absolutely chaotic. It's awful. There's a giant mirror looking at you.
covering your window. Have you got any natural light in that room? Yeah, yeah, a bit of window above it. The back of your, whenever you show me your house at the moment, it looks like one of them was jig puzzles.
And it changes every day. This has become, so I've had, I've had not good for the podcast, quite a relaxed Christmas roll. Yeah. I can see you've got that any tardian. But I've realized it's because we've shoved everything in this room and not opened the door. And now I've come this morning to do the podcast and my mind is gone. Just to carry on, love your podcast and the show I saw last year at the O2. She doesn't specify whether that was us or whether she's so much on us. She's such an eye.
Thanks for the always staying relatable. Leo, Neil, Leonie. Fair enough respect. Atlas, what a name. Merry Christmas. How was your Christmas? Do you know what, Rob? It was pretty stress-free. Nice. I'll give you a little highlight for the podcast to show it wasn't completely stress-free. Well, I mean, it's the day after Boxing Day and you've had to get an Uber driver to get a lead from your mates house, which seems like quite stressful. That was so stress-free. I was like, I can't believe this is back to reality.
Because we've still got a load of stuff packed from boxes from when we were happy and base. Yeah. I'd said the mic is somewhere in there, or possibly in an Airbnb. You've managed to get all the stress of moving house, but not moving house, totally.
Christmas was good, we did, I'll tell you about, we bought a bigger hamster cage for the hamster. Yeah. And the reason I tell you that, I had to build the hamster cage and it's got tubes on the outside. Yeah, but the guy from Suckrayan. Big pictures of, yeah, surely tubes should have had its own hamster tubes. Did you know what, Rob? I don't think that's going to sell as many as you think. I'm a dreamer.
I'm working in international business, what can I say? So, it's quite a big tube. It's 35, quite an absolute bargain of it. We're just going to change.
All right, OK. Yeah, lovely. But it was massive when it arrived. So we were going to put it under the tree, but even folded down, it didn't fit. All right, that's a present. So we built it. That's much more fun, though. But you are building a hand to the cage, Chris, receive in a house that you've just moved into. Was the kitchen finished? So interesting fact on that. Yes, but we didn't have the sideboards, the surfaces. So I don't think you can call that finished.
We've got running water up. Right. I'll tell you what, I'll Christmas Eve in a minute. Yeah, the car's finished, no wheels. So all the seats are there. We've put the plywood. We've got plywood sideboards at the moment.
All right, I see you've got sideboards, but not the finished ones. Yeah, you know what? It's quite liberating now. You can spill whatever the fuck you want on them. Yeah. I might just go for a new plywood sideboard every month. It's absolutely to not have to wipe them down to feel like you just spit on that spinner. Yeah, it doesn't matter, mate. This is going. I'll tell you about Christmas Eve in a minute, but we're building the hamster cage. Yeah. I don't know if any parent has had this situation.
So we're talking about whether he's called Chip, but he's nicknamed Hammy, whether he'd go through the tubes. And my daughter said to me, it's quite serious about it. She said, because Hammy's going to look at those tubes and he's going to think, fucking hell. She said that. And I was like, what? Sorry? She said, she's fucking hell. Yeah. And she said it in such an offhand manner. Like it was just a casual word. Yeah, it's just going to think fucking hell.
I said, oh, you can't say that. And she was like, no, no, how many seconds? I was like, no, no, he can't. And I was like, where have you heard that? And she's like, well, you say it. You say it all the time. I say it all the time. But when it's good or bad, well, it's good or bad. And.
But she says, you said so much that she thinks she's just a middle of a sentence. Yeah. It's just like awful, awful. Yeah. She wasn't. So I was like, well, I shouldn't say it. Yeah. And every time I say it, you need to tell me off for saying it. All right. And has she been doing that? Well, she hasn't told me off yet, but so hopefully I haven't said it. Right. OK, fair enough. Yeah. She won't hear you when you couldn't find the lead this morning. No, I was just thinking that. Yeah.
That was fuck my life that I was saying this morning. Yeah, but you just got it that quickly, then. I saw it that quickly. You seem very chilled. No, I wasn't wrong. All right. OK. I was concerned when you ring me directly. Yeah, yes. Never forget what's happened there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Christmas Eve five, five workmen in the house. That's just normal, I think.
You wouldn't have, you wouldn't want to have it any other way. Wouldn't want it any other way than two plumbers from Peter, bro. I just paused songs. What time did they finish? No, well, they're being fucking paid for the call out on Christmas Eve, right? Well, you got concerned that they'd want to get it done really quickly to get home and it may not be done well. That would be my consideration. It wasn't even my concern. He was very clear that that's what he was going to do. Okay.
That was a given. Yeah, he said, my aim is to be out of it by 11 a.m. Wow. What time did he arrive? Seven. Oh, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. To do a bath, two sinks, and a toilet. And he had to go and buy a toilet seat because our toilet seat has arrived. But he's out by midday. Oh, that's good. Good on him. Good on him. Good guy.
Yeah, good guy. Two sugars. Sorry, mate. Two sugars are packed away at the moment, so... No sugar in this area. No sugar in this area. So much sugar in this area. It's not here. It's not here. It's not here. It's not here. It's not here. It's not here. It's not here. It's not here. It's not here.
Christmas day was very nice. I think the present bit of Christmas day is just the best bit of the whole year. I love it. The Christmas morning. We had got the girls and books and nice books to save us like a table present because sometimes I don't like the food as much as adults. Yeah, yeah. So that's clever. Let's give them something that they can read or play at the table with us rather than just being bored.
That is a very clever idea, and I think we'll do it next year, because we operate the... Oh, just go. If you don't want to say... If you don't want to say it, you'll just leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm not going to hold you here for no reason. Well, what I'd say is that we got these lovely, beautiful books about animals and dinosaurs in the universe. They literally looked at them and went, oh, thanks, put them down, walked off. So let's call it this.
Well, you need what you need to get them, Robert is a Nintendo DS at the dinner table. Yeah, I know iPad. Yeah, I've got how's got iPad's Josh? Oh, yeah. And because we had them like fire device things, whatever they're called. I don't know how to work them because I've only ever been on Apple. So I literally they've given to me and I'm like, what? So if we get them, we can the father Christmas brought them for them, but then I set them up in them. Well,
Oh, you didn't do them in the box. You did them pre-set up. Oh, no, it's quite difficult to talk. Father Grace brought them for them. However, they were in the house tonight before, so I set it all up and then put them back in the box and wrapped it up. So when they got it, everything was on there.
So yeah, that would be a great tip if you are doing that before the week before. But there was a question on that. Because my daughter's got an iPad, which is just a hand me down from me. And so she's got, have we discussed this before? She's still linked up to my phone, so she's got all of the photos that go on my phone. Has she got an email address on her account? No, is that what she needs? So yeah, you're doing it completely wrong.
Okay. Well, no, I'm not doing it. I've just never done anything. Yeah, yeah. No, it's not completely wrong. But what you can do on that is you set up a family profile, and then you get them an email address, and you log them into an iPad on their email address. They'll get all their kids' apps, all their stuff, and it'll be separate from all your stuff. And then you can go on your phone to the family thing, and you can choose what she has access to through that. Right. Rather than just having access to the entire world.
And what, where have you drawn the line? Well, I put it on like the right age and then they were like, we can't get Roblox or I had to press 12 plus or something. So now they're all on 12 plus, but it's difficult because like some of the Spotify songs, I don't want to listen to Kanye West say the N word, but then I don't mind if they say,
Bitch. We had this thing where we put, what? It's weird. She might say bitch. She does say bitch, but I'm still quite a bad word in it, but it's not as bad as... They won't want to listen to the song Bitch by Meredith Brooks. Do you remember that? No, don't.
But anyway, I was saying it was a nightmare to try and do them quite stressful. But at least now we've got a bit more. We can do a thing where you can... The iPad literally won't work before 7am and then after 4pm and stuff like that. But if you're worth doing, then you get the chance.
On the before 7am, I forgot to tell you this. What time did your kids get up? Not bad actually, 6.30. Do you want to know what happened with me? Got her. My son, who is now scared of Father Christmas. Yep. Woke up at 2.30, having a nightmare. Okay. And every night since, both nights since, he's double checked Father Christmas isn't going to come because he's terrified of this stranger walking into his room. Yep. So he gets into our bed at half too. Every night?
No, not every night. Come and see if night. Yeah, he's fine normally. And then at 4.10, I'm woken by the sound of my daughter moving around in her bedroom. OK, that is early. I don't go up there. I just think I'll just turn over and go to sleep. Are you worried that she might open the stocking if she has stocking? No, I think she's pretty good on that. And then she comes down quarter past five.
I have no idea what. It was the day five. What happened in that hour will forever be a mystery. But she was awake the whole time. She was awake the whole time. She managed to make it to 10 p.m. From 10 miles per day. On to the young Christmas day. Any meltdowns? Not really. No, just when she just before bed. All right. Just fucking. It was 5.15. We said, I said, just watch my phone until 6 a.m. And then we'll do the presents.
She made me say, she said, how long is that? I said, it's 45 minutes.
She made me set the countdown on the phone to 45 minutes. So an alarm would go off exactly. That's sick when you're still allowed to do it. It's sick when she was allowed to do it. That's a tough start. But your son was asleep that time. Yeah. Yeah. No. Well, I was six feet. It weren't too bad. The only problem I found because we did give him iPads was Father Christmas got my pads. I basically worked in a genius bar for the last two days.
solving problems on iPads. So it's like, that's basically been, they asked me so many times I was trying to cook dinner at one point. I was shaking the potatoes with steam coming off the potatoes that fogged up my glasses so I couldn't see and I was burning my hands. And then when all I could see was the shape of two iPads coming and they were, dad, my keyboard's gone weird. Dad, he loved me into Disney.
And in the end, I said, go on your notes. I showed them notes. I went, go on your notes and write a list of all the things you want or things you can't access to or you want, that you, there was on your old ones that you can't get. And then I'll go through that list. I've got two separate 25 doctor do this. And then one of them was like, well, I'll, I'll put these little circles here and then you can protect them off as you do them. So I've got like Adam in.
And is Lou not an iPad person? She is, but I've, I've, I'm taking the lead on this on iPads. Um, but, um, yeah. So that was, that was quite a hard work. I did it with, so I said, we had not, I've had a lovely Christmas though. Very cheap, very relaxed. Um, so just stayed in tired though. So tired, like so, it's just, I think sometimes so like a relief. It's, it's fun with kids that actually love it, but it is exhausting. And so I don't know.
I've realised as well, I'm not great with loads of people, I quite like, we had a bit more of a chilled one, I quite like it with less people, I find too many people overwhelming, stresses me out. So yeah, I, yesterday was a bit more chilled. We went to Rose's Sisters for Christmas dinner, which was lovely. Yep. And then... Lasagna, veggie lasagna. Yeah, just a bit. Did anyone else eat some?
No. Just you. Just me. So we've got, we're going to have lasagna tonight. Do you not like roast dinners? Because I know I'll give you a banner for this, but I can't remember the reason why you do it. Nut roast is shit. Right, so actual nut roast is crap. So, but the rest of the roast, you know, you eat potatoes. I don't roast the roast. Cottage flour cheese. Okay. But with lasagna on top, with gravy. No, no gravy.
No gravy. So you have no gravy, but it was annual in the corner of it. Yeah. Well, lasagnas are the main player. All right. Okay. So that's the main culture, but just a couple of potatoes around the edge. Lasagna potatoes, bread sauce. What are the other things? Sprouts, parsnips. It's a car beast.
It does tie me out. Is it a thing to people go? Is your daughters commented on it? No, because obviously it's not weird to them. No, until they go to school and tell each tell people. Well, yeah, but I don't know if they will.
I mean, you all at any looks great. I'd eat it like, I'd eat it mid-January on a Sunday. Gobble that right up, bit of garlic bread. Oh, talking about gobble, Rob. Yeah. Went to the theatre. All right, she isn't very me. I really love it. It scares you.
Not as much as you'd think, probably. You know that thing at the theatre where they ask you for your interval drinks, and then they're just all kind of put out. On the side, it's bad. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Anyone could put anything in those drinks. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Or anyone could just take... First of all, I thought it was a free bar. Do I tell you what? Have you ever told you this? No. I mean, we wouldn't see Warralls, and I've never really been to, like, the theatre apart from, like, comedy or piano. Ooh, he's drink-shred. I picked one off and started drinking it.
But why not? It's going to stop you. Exactly. You just confidently pick one up and walk off. Well, that's the thing. Any of the events I normally go to, if you did that a football match half time, what do you want? And there's 6,000 pints on the side.
Anyway, my piece of paper with my free drink on it, with my drink on it. They'd written gobble gobble on it. Oh, podcast, I wrote gobble gobble. I've had a couple of gobble gobbles, just, I like them, just say shout them and move on. Yeah, it's quite useful, actually, I'm quite into it. Oh. I denied that I could pick it up my Christmas food, Josh. Go on. They want to name the supermarket.
Right. And I know it was just excited and it was Christmas spirit. And I don't think I'd come out of this covered in glory, but I was in quite a stressed point. It was eight. I had to get the Christmas food and it was eight AM, but I've got there. I'm Christmas Eve. Yeah. No, no, day before. And I've got there at like half seven. So I thought the shop would be open at six and then we open early and then eight will be fine. Like the nutcases that queue up will have gone and then I can slide in, get it at eight, slide out. Anyway, luckily I get a parking space. I mean, lose it or Honda, so it's easy to park.
Anyway, I'll get out and look out. The shop doesn't open until eight and there's people queuing and queuing. But like, where are my caries? It's sort of like, it's quite a wide opening. And then there's these queues with like two lots of trolleys. So there's like trolleys coming from either side and then like a gap in the middle. And then I'm like, I'm not going to walk up 100 metres down there to get to the back of a queue when there is actually a gap I can get through. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So call that jump with the queue if you wish. Oh, no, there we go. No, I just walk straight through. So I don't know what I'm not. I'm not cutting 10 minutes that way. Also.
I arrived here half an hour ago sat in my car. So I was sort of queuing from there, virtual queue. Right. Did anyone call you on it? No, it was bedlam in there. And it's just like so many old people with giant empty trolleys, pushing it through. So it's fine. So I got bits of Bob's, went back, put it in the car, then I went back to get the actual collection stuff. So I go through there. And they were lovely, but I was, you know, when you like,
Stressed and I've got a thousand things to do and like that and then like I go hello I'm here to collect my staff So Rob Beckett and then I've got a little bit of paper and then what this one just comes out and just points right on my face goes Romish one of these one of the staff staff right before that is unbelievable Robish right and I thought anyone's getting trouble is fine. Oh, but it was like and I was like
And I was like, oh, yeah, you're all right. Yeah. So what are you going to do with that? Well, exactly. And then she went and I'm stood there. And everyone's waiting because there's a feeling she goes, Romesh. And I was like, I don't know what you want me to. That's not a question. Or a start of a conversation. I was like, and then she was like, can I have a photo? Can you have a photo with a store manager? I was like,
Okay, at no point, I was like, all right, and they're like, let's not do it now. So I'll turn around. And then they start just like, oh, who did all my stuff on my trolley? And I'll turn around. And then like, I'm having a photo of his store manager, like in the shop, right? Like you've opened the store. Yeah, I've opened the store. And then she goes, oh, how are they going? If I look at after you, I was like,
Well, I've been pointed in the face, screamed Romesh at, I've ever been a photo of you and I've not seen any fucking food yet. I was going swimmingly. And then it was all quite intense because it was like no normal conversation apart from pointing photos, fingers, rubbish. I was like, OK, so I'll just get out, just get out of the shop because I bagged to pack all my stuff in, just get out of the shop, put it in the train and load it up by the car. So I just want to get out now because it was quite an intense situation.
So while I come, and I'm like, I've got it in the trinity, so I'm trying to get in bags to put in the boot. And then this maybe comes over like just shopping. She's like, I love you. What are you doing packing your bags here? You should have packed your bags in the shop. And I'm just like, well, everyone just fuck off.
What time is it by this point like just quarter past eight a.m. Anyway, but it was just like
You're not just in there, God, I just... He's just giving my shopping so I can go home. So I went that forward, but I was like, if they'd gone, oh, I know, yeah, it's your stuff, and they'd done the job of giving my food first, because I take quite a lot of money for this food. I mean, it's got a cheap... If you're in that situation, if you do the...
I've got in for an interaction, which is, oh, hello, I bought this food. There you go. And then afterwards, once I've got what they say, I'm so much more happy to do it. But then you're always self-conscious of your own way. And then they're pointing and shouting and you're doing photos before you've done. You're like, I just need to get my, I just want to check.
my older and get my Christmas food. This is what I wonder about this. So, as a store manager, asked an underling to go up to you and ask for the store manager's photo to have a photo. Well, I don't know what it was going to... What's going on there? The store manager's got, could you go over there and I'm a bit nervous. No, I don't know. Could you ask Romesh for a photo, please? Well, I don't know, because they were not even waiting for you, so I don't know if they saw my name on the list. I know we're like, yeah, could you not be going to the other one, don't you? But you've come here this year and I'm thinking,
Yep, for the first and the last time. I was already thinking about going to the other place when I saw the queue this morning, because the other place opens only up. But now I've made my decision, OK? But yeah, they were just excited. And it was Christmas Eve, so, you know, yeah, play. But I was just a bit, you know, and then I felt bad because I was a bit like trying to be jokey, but a bit edgy. But I'm not supposed to say even I'm stressed.
I do find, I do love Christmas, I do find it stressful. Do you know what I mean? It's all quite tense. My highlight was watching Gavin and Stacey boxing day morning in bed with Lou with a coffee and a biscuit. That was, that was, that was, the presence of the girls are great, but you know that just bit of choir, there's no one in your house. I haven't come close to that kind of situation. Well, enjoyment.
No, calm, relax calm. Yeah, I have a back hour in the book. But then also, because the girls want FaceTime to their friends on their iPad. They come in and went, can you sort my keyboard out and just turn the iPad at me? Now I'm looking at an eight-year-old child that's on their FaceTime.
I'm on the screen in my, I'm just like topless in bed with a biscuit and a coffee. And then I'm now talking to an eight-year-old child on FaceTime. I love that you started the day with a biscuit as well. Good on you. Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. Also, I have been at Joah, because I've been eating quite well leading up to Christmas. I've been quite good the second part of this year. This, my stomach, on Christmas day, I was so disgustingly full and I'd had cream and should I, it felt like someone had poured hot wax down my throat in my belly. The feeling of being too full.
I know that sounds like I've... I see the garden. It's a horrible feeling. When you wake up full, I'm like, what have I done yesterday? I'm still full.
Did you watch four football matches yesterday? Absolutely. I saw there was four football matches on. I thought, Rob, it's going to be happy as a piggy shit. That was on all day. What no, it mean was the telly goes, telly's about to power down now because of inactivity. I'm like, mate, they should program telly's on boxing day. Don't power down. This is going to be on for 20 hours. I'm going to get up midday and put on, it was prime one at this year. I'm putting prime on my telly from midday, and then it's going off at 10 p.m. tonight.
Let's fuck it out. We've not spoken about yours strictly. Oh yeah, here we go. We need to talk about this. Right, so I'll be, I'll be brutally honest with you. I laid down with the family to watch it fell asleep, but not when you come on. I was on fifth. So I woke up and then I'll worry, watch you, right? A bit later on, so that's why I delayed detection. Can I genuinely say you were really good to the point where actually, and this is the, this don't take this the wrong way,
You fancy me. I didn't fancy you, but it was actually a slight non-event for me because you were so good it felt like just watching Sunday week five.
Do you know when someone gets to that point of strictly when they know what they're doing, they may not be, you know, the one that's gonna win it, but it's certainly not bad or a joke. You were just a solid performer. I'd say 10 from Anton's, more than solid, my friend. Well, it was Christmas guy, it's Christmas scouring, it's Christmas scouring. No, genuinely, you're a really good judge. And I think, actually, that affected you as the common part of you. Was it a part of you that thought he's gonna win this? No.
Just checking. I could be honest with you. I don't think anyone's going to win because I don't really understand what's happening. I don't like dancing. I don't know how they judge it. So I literally have no, every time anyone dances, I say to Lou, is that right? Lou gave me the best compliment that I was looking for, which was, she said, don't mean this to be offensive, but me and my mum said he's so much better than we thought he would be. Yeah, agree.
Yeah, it was great. And I think you should do the series. No, wow. Oh, he wanted to do it. It depends on the hour you ask me. I can't do it next year because I've got the... I've got it all. Yeah, but do it the year after. It's a good little break from life. No, from the Christmas one.
We'll see. We'll see. Sometimes. Are you good? Yeah, I know. But sometimes... The only thing is, I do think... I'm sorry to get up, but I think you may struggle with the sexy Argentine tango week. I just don't know how you do sexy. But just... So what? So what? Well, no, that's sexy, salt-free one. We have to be all into it. Yeah, I could do sexy. You can't... I don't think you can do intense. Rob, Rob.
I can do sexy, my friend. OK, Josh has took his glasses off and smiled. But I don't think you would try to smile. No, but I'd love to see it. The way I see it, Rob, is I do four weeks of the comedy once and they go, he's only got this in his locker. Yeah. And then I bring out the sexy dance and they're like, Oh, my God.
Well, that's the thing. That's where you could really excel. But I think I think you should do it. Well, we'll see. We'll see. It's not in my plans at the moment. I thought you'd be the worst, but be funny. I'd say you were solid, balded on the top, but I'd say you were in it. You were top four. Like top four. I know there was not in the number of people, but like that in the Premier League.
do you think I think I thought I was going to be the worst I thought I was going to be a kind of well they they were loving the comparison strand with him and fair enough yeah but you were but that already written your narrative and you stuck to little flippers up at the
That's what the beauty was, Ben. Or it just decided on what you were. And you know what you walked in and you said, no, I am me. This is me. So stick that up your tens and sevens of that. But that's great. Well done. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Did you do it like it? Oh.
Did my daughter like it? Yeah. She was just coloured throughout. Just completely ignored it and colouring it. Even the bit where I did a speech about how I was doing it for her, she just looked up and then looked back down. And you know what? Good honour. Because I'm very much, yeah, I'm of the opinion that we shouldn't be impressed by our parents. No, no, no. No, if they're on a skateboard eating a fish.
I think I bring the surprise element. I think that's what I had in my locker is everyone thought I was going to be shit. But you could do it. I got away with it.
Oh, I've got two of this. This is right. We went to Copenhagen for a couple of nights before Christmas, right? Did a bit of Tivoli, did a bit of Christmas markets, went to really cool. Tivoli's like the big theme park, the theme, very small theme park, but in the middle, very Christmassy lights, rides, hot chocolate, glog, all that.
What's clogg? Glogg's like the Danish mulled wine and stuff. Really nice. So it's very Christmassy. We like going a little bit of a tradition, getting away just before Christmas, went to Icono, which is really quite an ambition place. There's got to be like Berlin and other cities, but it was amazing when you go in there's like a ball pit for kids, but like a really massive deep one, like a swimming pool, there's also like... Yeah.
like our installation rooms where there's all that inflatable silver balls that you can bash about and go crazy. IKONO, but I recommend it. So we did that, went to some pizza, went to a nice bakery and all that. Anyway, went to this pizza place and there's like 15 minutes from the hotel on a cab, had some pizza, left, jumped to the cab, went back to the hotel, grabbed all our coats, so many coats, so many layers because it's freezing cold.
getting the drive back 15 minutes and we sit in this in the hotels got this big at play area with like an in indoor bouncy castle this bricks is cars try to set massive almost out of sports all bit in one of the conference rooms of the hotel because there aren't any conferences because it's Christmas time they've just turned into the giant kids play area so all the kids can play in there and we can we sat in the corner having a couple of drinks sat there for like an hour and a half two hours and watching a bit of the boxing because um
There was a box in that night. It got to about like nine, 10 o'clock. And it was like, right, let's take the kids up to bed. We pick up all the coats. We're missing a child's coat. And we've got an extra adult's coat. All right. A blue unicorn coat. And I'm like, oh, no. We've picked up the wrong coat from the pizza place two hours ago. And I was like, fuck. And I was like, no offense, but it was a proper old
crappy Unicode quote. You know that the elbows have gone discolored, they were rips on it, and I was like, do you know what? I can't be asked to take a coat back that's this shit. They've got a coat, we've just done a coat. The one I've left is better coat. Anyway, but I then I felt guilty, and I went, I was better at the pockets, keys and wallet in there. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's me back in the cabinet. Oh, God. It's a Danish person.
Yeah, Danish. Anyway, so now I'm in a cab and I've got to speak to this Danish guy, you need to take me to this 15 minutes pizza place, wait for me, I've got to swap a coat, come back. And I thought this must happen all the time in Denmark, so many coats. So are you imagining, sorry, that the person has been waiting in the pizza restaurant for two hours with a child's coat in case you come back? No, but if someone had taken my, if my coat had gone missing,
And I'm in a game. I'd leave my name. I'd probably come back and check the next day. And I wouldn't just go, oh, I won't mention it. I'll just wear this child's car home. I can leave it on some way in this restaurant. I don't know how much pizza we're eating.
So then luckily I went back and the people were still there eating drinking. So I just put in, put it on the hook and took my daughter's one. They never do. I felt like a little spy. I felt like I'd done some sort of theft. That is incredible.
And then jump back in the cab again to 40 quid, not last little 40 quid round trip. But you took that out of the wallet to cover yourself. Yeah, absolutely. I think I'm doing it when I didn't do that. But yeah, that was a nightmare. You know, but I had my heart sunk when I saw the coat. And then I had like a moral dilemma. And I was similar with the coats. Completely different. Yeah. So that was a bit of the arse. It's a good little trip. And then what else has gone on? Oh, the best biscuits. I got bought these biscuits for Christmas. Yeah. Fortnum and Mason, right? They're fancy.
they're called Tophallophusus. They're like, they're 20, wow, I didn't realise this. 21 pound these biscuits are. Right, Tophallophus. You get like 10 of them, I think. Fucking two quid a biscuit.
That's not right now. 50-bit pound, what? Is this how you and Lou started your day with a £2 biscuit? No, it weren't a two, though. If the 21 Quinn is tender, here's a £2 biscuit. Jesus Christ. Yeah. They are at salt, sweet, and chewy toffee combines with plump dates and is it expertly baked, abundant, chocolate-covered biscuit masterpiece? Colossally good. They are at 600 grams.
Absolutely unbelievable, but we just have them as special for Christmas. Yeah, I bet they do. £2.10 a biscuit. £2.10 a biscuit. But now it's a special little treat. And also, do you know why my stomach felt so bad? First year, I felt awful at Christmas. I think it's because I had been eating quite well and then I ate awfully. And actually, I think it's a good sign because I would normally eat awfully all year. I totally agree, Rob.
This sounds, I remember like when I was growing up on Boxing Day, my dad would be like, oh, I need a normal meal. You know, I need some vegetables or whatever. And I think, oh, fuck off. Come on, come on. You're falling, no one. And now I'm like, I'm craving normal food again. I don't want to wait for Josh. A bit of crushed cheese on so sourdough. Oh, Rob, I'm going to have some cottage cheese for lunch today.
I'm trying to crisp up the cottage cheese. You're making it wetter. It might be probably cottage cheese is the wet. Rob, try this. That's soup. Do you like tomato soup? Yeah. Get yourself a tomato soup. Yeah. Nice tomato soup. Right. And then get yourself a cottage cheese. Yeah. Pop it. When you pop it in the soup. In the soup. Right.
I'd say half. Do you drain off the little watery bit off the top of the cottage cheese? Yeah. Well, the cottage cheese I get is quite a hard cottage cheese. Have you ever ventured into quark? I hate quark.
I had, can I say so? I had quarked by accident because he looked like cottage cheese and I don't mind it, but I'll put it in cheese. Yeah. Quark, what the fuck's quark? We don't need quark. We just don't need quark. What's the other one? We don't need the weird bit of tofu. What's that one called? Seitan. Oh yeah, no, I don't, I don't. Anyway, so what are you doing with your soup?
get hot, piping hot soup, piping hot soup, get your cottage cheese, freezing cold cheese, freezer cold cheese, pop it in the soup. The whole tub or just a spoonful? A lot of it. A lot of it, okay. Right in the middle, like a bowl of cottage cheese in the middle of your soup. And then chip away at the edge of your cottage cheese, you've got the cold and the hot. Is it like French onion soup for health nuts? Yeah, it's like French onion soup for Joel Domet.
OK, we'll see. We're going to get back. I'll be set my sourdough and cottage cheese now. But yeah, I was getting in my head a bit as well about putting on weight because I've been doing so well, but I'm just accepting. I'm going to enjoy myself and then I've got time to get back into them. Exactly.
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Don't chop them down. I find that as a best way to keep it sustainable. Josh, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. Merry Christmas to everyone. Thank you soon. Thanks guys. Sorry if I was coughing a lot and tired. And guys, don't get in your head about putting on a bit of weight. Don't get in your head about not exercising. Don't worry, it's back getting too much. Try and get into your routines and things you do now that the main part of Christmas is over. Put yourself first and then you'll be a better parent, husband, wife, friend, child.
Josh, is this a great conference podcast? Absolutely. I'm just saying it for me, to be honest. Bye. Bye. Bye.
