Welcome to my travel podcast, Life's a Beach. Every week I invite a special guest to take us on a journey together to their favourite holiday destinations and to reveal their top travel tips and taste.
Joining me on Alanair this week is writer, comedian, presenter and feminist and daughter of Alistair Campbell. She's just sold out the Hammers live Apollo with her one woman show and hosts a riotous weekly podcast late to the party, which I will be on in a few weeks. Buckle up, tray tables down, scops, that's a needy. Welcome on board, great tempo.
This is the final morning call for Grace Campbell, final morning call for Grace Campbell. Grace Campbell, Grace Campbell, Grace, Grace, Grace, Grace, Grace. Thank you.
OMG, look who we've got on board. It's Grace Campbell, are you doing Grace? I'm great! I'm so happy to be here. Thank you. Is it me or your glasses getting bigger? They... The game! Big now! Do you like the guy? I'm quite diddry ballo. I'm taking them off. No, no, no, you need them. Listen, listen. I need them to drive. That's why I wore them here, because I drove here. So I have to wear them to drive. But they're not quite my likes, you know, it's like, it's a bit of a...
sexy holiday dress and then mine. It's like the beach, it's all about holidays. So listen, are you short-sighted or long-sighted? I'm, I can't see far away. I'll say Miss Minnie's short-sighted, and I want a stigmatism. Ooh, I want one. You want one? I kept telling people like Stig Marta, which is like the wounds of Christ. Get over yourself, Alan. But I had a bit of a health scare. Can we talk about this? I went to more fields.
I've got something wrong with my eyes, like really big, quite a lot of pressure. I hate the glaucoma thing when they squirt the air in your eyes. That's my biggest. Yeah. Because when I last went to the opticians for an eye test, she did that once because I didn't, I can't handle anything going in my eyes, not even eye drops. I can't handle it, I just closed my eyes.
Yeah. And so then when she did it, she did it in one eye and I was like, what the fuck? Like, you didn't warn me that you were going to do that. Do you get a bit sore? I get about like a nail coming out. Like, you know, when you watch Saw, like it was like a black and decker nail in your eye. And like, you can imagine like the real option is like tied up in that closet.
And then some psychopath, homophobic psychopath. And then because I saw it along with my eyes in the corner. And I was just so worried because he had to basically choke me to his air going in my eyes too much. And listen to this while I had it more fields. They enecivatised my eyeball.
That's what you get when you get laser. That's what they do. And then the spike came in onto the lens to see if it worked. And he said, just relax, Alan, and just concentrate on the spike that's going in your eye. I'm like, excuse me? Fucking what?
Oh good, the spikes coming closer. Just look, the spikes directly in the eye. Welcome it in. Relax. Oh, so yeah, and it was so surreal, but then I got my check, because losing my sight is my worst thing. Yeah. And I can feel it getting worse, but now it was all good. I got really high, my balls, my eyeballs are full of, hey, ladies, my balls.
I bought my balls need draining because they got too much pressure. Wow. Speaking of balls, I was once in France also on the theme of holidays and a man came in my eye.
which was one of the worst experiences I've ever had. I thought I had lost my sight for like 12 hours. I couldn't open my eye. It was awful. You can't, was it stuck your eye together? It was like that I swallowed up, like really big. I made this random French man go and get me saline solution. So I have to wash out my eye. Oh my God, that's what happened to Gabrielle. No, I'm joking.
Dirty cow. No, it didn't.
Oh my God, that's awful and it stuck your eyes together. It was awful. I just sent my friends a picture on WhatsApp, just no context and just the picture. And then like 20 minutes later, I was like, oh, sorry, this guy just came in my eyes. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. God, your eyes are fine now. Is that why you wear massive glasses? Yes, because they just don't come insane. Do you just accept me when I'm out in the world? The semen can't get round it. The goggles, yes.
Like a conservatory window that's got bird shit on there.
Because I'm coming on your podcast, so it's coming. I'm on fire today. Now I am coming on your show, Anna, as well. It's going to be fun. It's going to be really fun. Now, listen, we've got to talk about holidays. So what's your first holiday memory? When I was a child, we used to go to France, like the South of France,
And I just remember thinking I was French. That was my, I remember thinking I didn't identify as an English kid. I identified as like a French kid from Provence and like wishing that my dad like owned a bakery and I lived in like a tiny village. And I didn't really speak any French as a child. And then when I was a kid, we went to
We were on holiday in the South of France. I speak really loudly, which is a problem for my dad, because my dad hates how loudly I speak and always has done. And we were on holiday in France, and I was talking loudly, I was like eight years old in this restaurant, and this French man came over to me, and I remember it so vividly. He told me, if you carry on speaking this loudly, you will be asked to leave the restaurant.
Oh my god. So I was sort of like shocked into submission for a few minutes. I was like, oh my god. That's horrible. No, listen to this. My dad had paid that man. To come over and threaten me that we were all going to get kicked out. If I didn't get it. Quite.
How insane is that? Yeah. That's brilliant. Yeah. Because also in France, I was in Paris a few weeks ago and like, they do think I speak loudly the French. Like, wherever I go. I can speak loudly.
I'm just saying. I'm with you French people. No, no, no. Nobody's nice. I speak loud. I speak loud. I mean, I do speak loudly, but this doesn't sound loud to me. That's the thing. It sounds like an average for you. Can your ears are fucked as well as your eyes? Did someone come in your ear? Your ears are just shut.
Like, honestly, it feels like I'm under order all the time. No, I've been checked and I'm not. I might have no ear problems because I once had a boyfriend who was convinced that I was deaf because he hated how loudly I spoke as well. And I've got nothing wrong with my ears. I just think it's a personality trait, maybe. Just talking loudly. I feel as well, if the microphone ever went down, I could probably still, I could still talk and people would still hear me up in the gods. I think so, yeah.
in the Royal Albert Hall. Yeah, I think they could. I've got boom in voice. Oh, grating, maybe my voice is maybe a little bit. We will shortly be passing through the cabin, handing out ear defectors. This is not due to the drop in air pressure. It's for the loud woman in three feet. Shut. Tell us your best ever holiday. Oh, that's my best ever holiday. Or is there a place you go to? You think, oh, I'm home. I love it here.
Oh, I mean, I do feel that way in France, like in Marseille. I love Marseille. Have you ever been there? Yeah. I love it there. I do feel like that in Jamaica. I love Jamaica. When I was 18 years old, I moved to Jamaica on my own for four months because I wanted to be a reggae tall manager when I was teenager.
So I went there and like, I love it there. What is it about Jamaica? Because they don't like the gays. Yeah, that is true. And that is a big fault of it. Yeah, I don't like Batty Man when I go there. No, I don't want all that Batty Man and shoot the Batty Man and all that. Not again.
I like the scenery. It's really, really beautiful and I love Jamaican people. They're really funny and so welcoming. And the food is amazing. But where else? Honestly, I'm quite basic. I've never been to Asia. I really want to go to Japan. I'd love to go to Thailand. I'm a bit of a...
Pussy like I don't know I go to the same places over and over again like I go to France I go to Scotland go to New York and I go to LA So boring isn't it?
No, it's that's exciting. Yeah. That is exciting, but I don't know anyone in the fires. Paul, they're putting fires in California. Yeah, I know. I was just listening to Conan O'Brien's podcast and his assistant, Sona, who I'm like really attached to, because I've listened to that podcast for years, she lost her house in Pasadena and she was just talking about it on the podcast. It's so sad. It's so grim, so sad. It's so hard to even imagine like, can you imagine losing all of this?
It's crazy, but I'm trying to think my best holiday that I've ever been on. No, you've ever been to a hotel, you've gone old bloody hell. I once did a gig. When I started doing stand-ups, this is quite a holiday, but it sort of was. When I started doing stand-up, I was really, really early doing stand-up, it was like 2018. Someone I knew had been asked to go and speak at this event in Turkey. She had to drop out, so she said, as a consolation, would you put my friend Grace? She just started doing stand-ups, she could do a set. So I had no idea what I was going to. I go to this resort in Antalya in Turkey.
It was, I've never experienced anything like this. There was no prices on any of the menus, like everything was free, but everything was like insane quality. Like it was just unbelievable. It had like seven swimming pools. It was really... Really?
on the beach I've never and then and also I'm like 22 I'd never really been away to anywhere that wasn't like a hostel or maybe at a best like an Airbnb yes and then I was had like a four bedroom suite with a jacuzzi and a balcony and I was like I want all my friends to be here like it was just crazy and then I got chlamydia
Oh, you have to spoil it. Oh, no. How'd you get exactly? Is comedy a free set or is it with an over guy? Sex of a koala. Oh, my God, you pervert. You make people like you make me sick.
I had sex with a man at this place and then I ended up getting chlamydia. But that was the most, if I think like... Why don't you become a nun? It would be a lot, I know. I am a nun now, Alan. I'm a title. Hello, sister. Thank you so much for coming up. This is the nun outfit. I've just come from the nunnery. My nipples are spilling out of my tongue.
But that was incredible. And I was so young, and I was like, I'd never experienced anything like that. And then I was like, okay, more of this. Is that what my life should be like? Oh, wow. And I was gonna say about holiday romance, but I mean, you have one every fucking holiday you go to. That's so true. Yeah. Yeah. What's been your best shag and where? Oh, oh. Have you ever had one of those holidays where a group of girls and you go, oh no, I've left my panties at home.
Yes, I'm assuming that's what go because I go on lads holiday. I had a really good like one night stand in Berlin recently. That was so fun because then I had to go and get the morning after pill, which in German, because a whole thread of my last show. They should play this podcast at school. Yeah, I know it's sex education. Hello, listen guys.
This is the last story I'm going to tell of sex, but I went to... So my last show had this thread where it's true in German morning afterwards, anti-baby pillen. I don't know if you knew that. So the whole show had this thread throughout the show and I'd finished the show in Berlin in Germany.
and then I had sex with this man and the condom broke and I started laughing as it happened. He was like, why are you laughing? And I was like, because I get to go and ask for the anti-baby pillow in Germany. Like this is the best ending to my tour ever. Yeah, exactly. It was the ultimate callback. And then I walked into a pharmacy in Berlin and I was like, can I have one anti-baby pillow? And he was like, okay, because I was going to get my friend to film me like doing it.
He was watching like, why is she being filmed in the morning after film? So that was fun. I don't know what you think about this, but I was looking at some travel news. Ryanair, I think, in a doing two drink caps on flights. What do you know about this? Because someone's being sued on their £290,000 because they got the plane diverted.
What's it you? What's it you? There being something like that. And then I read somewhere someone stormed into the cockpit on an easy jet flight at 30,000 feet and said he can do better to the pilot. Now I've had a few drinks on the flight, but I have never said to the pilot. Sit this one out. I've got a stigmatism. Let's see where we end up.
The two cap limit is fucked. I've got a fear of flying. I need alcohol to get through the journey. Otherwise, I'd be awful. Well, I don't have a fear of flying. I'm just an alcoholic. You've got to have a drink. Yeah, you do. I mean, are you one of those people who will have like maybe a glass of wine at the airport, even if it is 6am? No, I'm not. I'm not going to lie. I basically
It's just about flying so like in airports. I mean, I would have a drink if it was like midday Oh, of course we've done that. Oh, I've noticed even older people, you know, cuz all the bloody youngsters with the pies I see like old people. Yeah English people though. No other
The fucking culture would be like in the airport six in the morning having a pint. Six a.m. No, I could handle a pint, but wine. I don't think I could have a wine in the morning. I'm judging. I don't think I could have a glass of peanut with six a.m. I am the same. Yeah, but I see old people doing it and I'm like, what? I don't know. I'm probably seen as old.
No, no, but I mean, that's hard core. That is hard core. And some of their flights aren't even until 8pm at night. They've just got in there early. Yeah, just to get fucked. They're doing a conga, but I'm sure. The thing is, I'm never at an airport with enough time to have a drink. I get to an airport like with five minutes to spare. Really? I'm like quite difficult to travel with.
Because I'm like the kind of person who, so I'm so chilled and relaxed about travel plans. Like I'm going to Amsterdam tomorrow. I don't know what time my train is and I won't look until probably like 10 p.m. tonight. I know. And then I get to wherever I have to be. Like always, I have to say, I'm really sorry. Can you let me push through like my train or plane is in 10 minutes? Like I'm always that person. Oh God.
But then I get through and then I get on the plane and then I'm a completely different person because I start panicking about the flight and then when I was coming back from Berlin recently, we were landing and it was during that storm in December in England, we were landing into London and there was a boy next to me, he was about 21 years old and he was fast asleep and the landing was bumpy so I woke him up and I was like, I'm really sorry, I need you to hold me while we land.
Oh my God. So he like held my hand and I was kind of like going like this, like really, really scared. And then we landed and I acted like, I didn't know who he was. I'm so embarrassed. I was like, I'm going so nice to meet you. Just like ran as soon as we could get off the plane. So I'm like two different personalities at airports. Like one at the airport, I'm chilled as fuck, then they get on the plane and I'm possessed. My anti-baby pill has made me feel strange.
Can't you imagine this kiss girl? No, I know, honestly. Poor boy. Have you ever holidayed with a celebrity or the celebrities? But we want your biggest name, A-list. We've had everyone in here. I mentioned this every time, but someone wasn't easy to outfly and Leonardo DiCaprio got on with his pussy posse.
No. And my brother was going to need some Ashton Custer and Mila Kunis. She was on there. We've had Diana Ross. Does it have to be airport related? I could be in a holiday. Michael McIntyre was in Pulea and Madonna came in riding on a horse. Yeah, that's incredible. That's the level. Well, I once, like, I did say Jeremy Kyle, we weren't that impressed.
No. I once clubbed with Usain Bolt when I was 18. Oh, wow! Yeah. That was in Jamaica. Like, was in a night club with him. Night clubbing, not club to seal.
Joe Lice has such a good joke. It's like me and my friends were gay clubbing. That's just when a group of gay men got clubbing seals. But I once was in it, I was... Is it good dance, are you saying? Yeah, he was so fun actually. Was he doing that? Was he doing that? Does he incorporate that? It was. It was right after the Olympics, the London Olympics. So I was like, I went up to him and I was like, oh my God, I love him so much. I kept trying to take pictures with him. He was dancing with this girl and I was sort of going like that with my... I think it was like a blackberry.
And then his security guard came up to me and was like, I'm really sorry. He's just trying to have a good time. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm from London and the Olympics. Everybody just fucking loves him. I really want to meet him. So his security guard took me outside. And I just chatted with him for ages. He was such a nice guy. He was really honest.
So that was fun. Is that good? Is that going to go in the pantheon? You say bowel, Olympic gold medalist. It's better than Jeremy Kyle, for sure. Yes, yes, yes. I parted with him in Jamaica once. He loves the dutty wine. Dutty wine and then the butterfly. Do you do the butterfly? Because you know who taught me the butterfly, Rihanna? Name drop. Yeah, go on.
It's hard when you're sitting down the sofa, but that... You look like you're swimming in a breaststroke. Don't ever go at me, Rihanna taught me it. Rihanna taught me it. That's pretty cool, innit? Here on Alanair, we operate a two-drink minimum cab. Yes, you have to be pissed to fly with us. If you don't drink, moirate in economy, we'll come round with a funnel and a bottle of flambrady. Thank you.
What's been your worst holiday experience? Now we're not gonna name and shame and start slagging off countries and stuff. But there's been a place you've turned up and you're going, okay.
I mean, it doesn't have to be. The thing is, I am so easily pleased. So I, like every meal I've ever had was so nice. I'm not the kind of person that would like, like, I'm so happy if I'm away and on holiday. So like, you know, I want to see you're quite basic. I'm so like, you're stressed at the airport, but when you get
there, you're fine. I'm just happy, I'm just happy to be there. And like, if I'm with my friends, I'm so happy to be there. I just, we could be in a cardboard box and I wouldn't care, like if it's me and the girls and, and the gays, I will be happy wherever we are. So, I mean, I feel like we've had to talk this loudly on a plane. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I do. Okay, great. But on a plane, it's sort of fine because the plane's so loud. Yeah, yeah, because you are, so you would actually fight the turbulence and the noise of the engines.
Grace versus. I can still hear you. You see, you don't complain. I mean, I'm going to do a little complaint. I always talk about what gets you go when you're booking travel, but I think they need to regulate the different classes on a flight.
I mean, economy used to be economy, didn't it? Business and then first. Now, some planes are first. Sometimes they don't have a first. Sometimes they have business. And then what's economy lie? I mean, how bad is that? It's worse than economy. What is economy like? No, I know. Well, economy like is like you.
I can't take any clothes. You have nothing. And then I don't think you get given anything as well. I don't think everyone else is eating and you're not getting anything. Oh my god, that's what they do. I flew to LA.
Hold a pedina in your head. You're trying to get your luggage from the turnstoll at the end and they're like, ah, not gumming, not gumming. So you don't complain, so your room's smelly.
Oh no, I would complain about a smelly room and I did do that on tour quite a lot. I would say, I would call up and say you need to come and throw out the smell in this room or like hair. In one hotel there was hair in my bath, like it was crazy and it was like a nice hotel. So I will complain about stuff like that.
But I also get so embarrassed if people I'm with are complaining. It makes me so like, my dad's really bad with slow service. And it's like, well, when you're in France, the service just like, they just don't care. They'll just come when they come. And they don't really don't like being told off about it. And I don't know when he'll ever learn that like, that's not going to get our food quicker. If you're rude. Well, they just spit in the food. I've walked in a kitchen. If you do, they just gob in your food.
So I get really uncomfortable when that happens. So I don't think I would really do that. But yeah, if something was stinky, I would complain about that. Yeah. How did your Amazonifer Apollo get go?
It was amazing. Yeah, it was so fun. Oh my God. It was just like the best night of my whole life. Yeah. Would you say that's the biggest thing you've done where you've gone? Wow. Yeah, I have. It has transformed how I feel about myself, which sounds really cringe. But since then, I feel like before then,
I felt very insecure a lot of the time of like lots of other people think that I'm not good enough for like where I'm at. And like I get so much shit from other people that like the only reason I've been successful is because of my dad and having this kind of like unique selling point. And that's a lot of other comics of like not been very kind to me over the years. And so I think I've internalized a lot of like, you know, am I good enough? And then that night I just felt like so
sort of comfortable in my skin because I was like, well, I've sold this place out.
It's just young women and gay men who have come. And I've built this audience. It's London, it's where I'm from. And everything went perfectly. Like, I looked amazing. I didn't miss a beat when it came to the show. My support acts, Alice and Chris were amazing. And then I got so fucked afterwards. Did you use a microphone on stage? Or was you a cappella?
Grace unplugged. Honestly, fear is love to see me coming. The amount they save on electricity. The thing is, isn't it funny? I think with Stand Up.
You, we all get imposter syndrome, but it's probably the one job where it doesn't fucking matter who you're related to because you'll have five minute grace, 10 minute, I'm not 10 minute, 10 minute grace, and then you're on your own. And if you're not good enough, people aren't gonna give you any credit, you've got to be good. You've got to be good. And also you've got to graph, like I think the thing about stand-up is I've just gotten better and better and better,
at the start i definitely was like i was way more arrogant when i was starting doing stand-up i was like i'm amazing this is so easy and then i realized that like in an hour or 90 minutes which like the show ended up being that's a different thing to doing like a five or ten minutes there you have to sustain an energy for a really long amount of time
And so I think with this show, I've worked so hard at writing it. It was a really funny show. It ended on such a high. And so it just would have been hard if you were there to sort of like, fold it in that sense. You can say other things about me. I'm a bitch. I'm, you know, I'm really arrogant sometimes. But I don't get that. I get that you're really likable. We met recently at Single Letters. I bet people are going to project shit.
And I'm also joking. That's the game, that's the nature thing. But I think that night I just felt really like, oh, now I don't, because you know the problem with, with like being a creative or like, especially when you're coming up, you feel like you have to constantly be doing stuff, constantly be saying relevant, constantly posting stuff on the internet and constantly feeling like people aren't forgetting who you are.
And after that night, I was like, oh, actually, no, I think I need to just be nicer to myself, be more creative, not like force myself to do everything in like a really short amount of time. The Apollo was an amazing moment. I don't think I ever have anything that amazing. I will obviously do bigger venues. There will never be a moment like that for me personally, because it was the first moment of my life where I was like,
Oh, I am good. I am good. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, you're right. I mean, people are always good to say so. I mean, me and Amanda hold, we hosted the Royal Variety Pullments. I don't know, it's not everyone's cup of tea. But my brother was looking, of course, Twitter was hating, it's like, and it's all of us.
but I did like, won't Chris him. That Alan and Amanda are so full of themselves. Are you like, how can you imagine hosting the Raw Rat and not being full of you? Yeah, yeah, and being like, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
I mean, come on, slag me off, but fuck it, make some it decent up, let's open. You have to be, it's not full of yourself, you're just confident and you're just loving life and enjoying yourself. Why is that full of yourself?
I just so get it, it's insane. There's also then you go on the profile, like someone commented on something for mine the other day and it was about, it was a bit of when I was talking about when I was in a relationship once and this guy commented like, I can't believe that you ever had a boyfriend who would want to be in a relationship with you.
And then I went on this profile, and he was just so unbelievably unattractive. It was like, don't bring attention to your profile. People are going to go on your profile saying, me, you can't believe I had a boyfriend. Well, if he listens to this podcast, why is he wrong? I mean, you've been...
You're riddled. She's riddled with STDs. Fuck you. No, I'm not. I've got a clean STD help, Alan. Thank you. We always have a little test before we fly Alan here on the... Yes, exactly. We've just done an STD test. I certainly have monkey pox. Our eyes are fine. No chlamydia in the eyes.
Are you quite adventurous food wise? Will you go off peace? Are you a vegetarian? So I've just started eating meat. So I was a vegetarian for like most of my life. And then I've just started eating chicken. What was it? Was it your gateway? What made you want to suddenly start eating meat?
Um, I was having dinner with my friend, and we said, oh, what's the light best dish here at the restaurant? And he said, oh, the chicken wings. And my friend was like, oh, she doesn't eat me. Restaurant chicken wings. Yes. It was like buffalo chicken. Yeah. We were at McDonald's chicken. Was it a filet of fish? Muck.
What do you list use? How many Michelin stars? They were like, you know, like Korean, Korean spice chicken wings. And my friend was like, oh, she doesn't eat me. And I was like, mmm, but they're the best dish in the restaurant. Like maybe I should have the best dish when in Rome. So I had them. And then my friend was watching me and I had all of them. I was like, it was like suddenly I was like, yeah, an addict. And then the next day I went out for dinner with my school friends who had never seen me eat me. And I was like, guys, I'm filming to eat chicken. And they were like, what the fuck is going on?
Then I had dark, which was amazing. Well, after, after? No, like, a few weeks, maybe a week after. I'm going to say you've got to sleep. I'm going to sleep after them. Cardinal. Yeah. Yeah. No. And then... You can have a bird, Anakin, flamingo. You can't stop eating birds. I had a pigeon the other day, unless the square. No, then I had a sausage on the weekend. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So I'm becoming more adventurous. Yeah. But yeah, I'll eat anything. Like I said, like... Would you have tried?
What's that? That's in it. What's that?
It is. In. Oh. No. No. No. No. No. I just did. I'm just pushing. What animal? Trippies cow stomach lining. No, I don't think so. Okay. I don't think I'll ever have cow. I never had cow when I did eat me. No, no. Because I used to have a farm and I always felt sorry for the cows. Yeah. Tripp is an edible lining from the stomachs of various farm animals. Most trippies for cattle. So it's lots of animal. Yes. Oh, look at the calories. 85 calorie. Wow. I'm getting on that.
tripe diet, slim tripe, you can't believe it's not tripe. And last question before we do a quick fire round, 100 years old, you've got all your faculties, you're in a rocking chair, you've got a blanket over your knees, where do you want to be in the world?
Well, first of all, my grandma is 100 this week, which is crazy. When I saw that question in the list, I was like, I've never known anyone to turn 100, but my grandma's about to turn 100. So hopefully with the jeans, I will make it 100. When I'm 100 years old, I probably want to be like, like with my best friend Anna, high on mushrooms, sat by some water. We love cold water swimming, me and Anna just sat swimming in water,
bit stone, bit of wine, champagne maybe, a bottle of crystal. Just if you do go deaf, how loud your voice is going. Oh I know, I know, but hopefully by then we'll have like some form of AI thing that can just channel my voice. Yes, yes. I'll wait for the future. Something to look forward to Alan.
This is your captain speaking. We are on our final approach to our destination. Cabin crew get ready for landing. Cabin crew get ready for landing.
We're about to start our descents at time for the quick fire round. Mejito or Minty? Oh, Mejito, obviously. Obviously. Museum or Boozeum Boring. Oh, yeah, I don't like museums. No, that's the makes sound so thick. I have panic attacks in museums and galleries because I always get told off for being loud. No way!
What are the chances? Mile high or I'm too shy? No, I'd love to have sex on a plane. One of my lifelong goals. Mosquito or Mosquito? No, no, no. I don't know what that means. Well, who the hell wants to be bitten by a mosquito? Some people are into that.
nudist or not on your nelly. Oh, I love being nude. Yeah, yeah. Do while swim nude. Oh, yeah. I did that in the summer. Love being naked. Did you do it in Margate? No, absolutely not. God, that would be crazy. In one degree. No, but I used to go to this festival in Spain and we'd all shower naked at the festival. Oh, very nice. Yeah.
And last but not least, tip them or fuck them. Do you tip or do you think, ha ha, never see you again by losers? No, I always tip. Just because I get scared, but you know, they might talk shit about me. Of course. Yeah. Come on up that. Thank you so much if you'd like to go and collect your emotional baggage from the carousel. Thank you. Thank you for flying out of here.
Thank you, Greg. That was so much fun and please check out her hilarious podcast late to the party and you might be recognising someone over the next couple of weeks. Thanks for listening, guys.
Hi, this is Chris McCausland and this is Diane Boswell and we've got a new podcast, haven't we died? We do. What's it called? Winning. Isn't. Everything.
Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch-up on the back here strictly, aren't we, Dye? We are. I've missed you, Chris. I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense. So why don't you then? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.