S3 Ep. 17 - Pain-o-vision
en
January 28, 2025
TLDR: Heroes heal after fight, have strange dreams in Moth Man tubes; next episode promises unexpected revelations.
In Episode 17 of Dungeons and Daddies, titled Pain-o-vision, our heroes find themselves recuperating from a harrowing battle with Tucker Trout in a strange setting filled with ominous illusions and surreal imagery. This episode dives deep into themes of identity, memory, and the sometimes dark, often humorous consequences of our actions.
Healing in the Moth Man Goo Tubes
After a debilitating fight, the characters are placed in Goo Tubes, which resemble bizarre cocoon-like structures used for healing. Inside these tubes, they experience vivid and unsettling dreams, leading to unexpected revelations about themselves and their pasts.
Key Adventures in the Goo:
- Trudy's Vision: In her tube, Trudy faces her fears and memories about her complicated life, particularly involving her son, Timmy. She learns that her identity is intertwined with her robotic form and deep-rooted emotions tied to motherhood.
- Kelsey's Journey: Kelsey navigates distressing memories of her family and war experiences, uncovering painful truths that might help her cope with her past. The visions play tricks on her mind, forcing her to confront her guilt and growth.
- Francis' Reflection: Francis explores the emotional landscape of his life, grappling with guilt and the need for forgiveness. He interacts with figures from his past, such as Shane Silva, who helps him realize the importance of accountability and understanding.
Encountering Moth Jesus
As they wake up from their trippy experiences, the group meets Moth Jesus, the enigmatic figure guiding their journey. Moth Jesus emphasizes the urgency of their quest, hinting at the need to confront the cult threatening their peaceful suburban lives.
Critical Takeaways from Moth Jesus:
- The urgency of defeating the bison cult to save both the town and potentially the world.
- The revelation that the Dollmaker is linked to the mysterious protein affecting Timmy's mind, necessitating a quest to uncover this new threat.
Exploration of Themes
Identity and Self-Discovery
This episode masterfully intertwines themes of identity and self-discovery, emphasizing how personal histories and past actions shape who we are. Each hero's journey through the Goo Tubes acts as a metaphor for introspection and the confronting of buried traumas.
Humor Amidst Horror
Despite the unsettling nature of their experiences, the humor laced throughout the dialogue offers a refreshing contrast. The characters’ witty exchanges and absurd situations provide laughter even in dire scenarios, making the narrative engaging and relatable.
Dramatic Developments
After awakening from their deepest fears, the characters learn they must head to the Peachyville archive – a symbolic representation of confronting the knowledge that can either save or doom them. This choice highlights the necessity of understanding one’s past to forge a safer future.
Tension Builds with New Challenges
The episode ends with a build-up of tension as the heroes face an escalating threat from the cult while racing against time to save Timmy and uncover the ominous truth behind the Dollmaker.
Conclusion
In Pain-o-vision, the blend of horror and comedy serves to enrich the character arcs while keeping the listeners engaged with plot twists and rich storytelling. As the protagonists continue to unravel the chaos surrounding them, listeners are left contemplating their fears, personal growth, and the choices they must make in the face of daunting challenges.
The journey through this episode reinforces the idea that understanding and confronting one’s past can pave the way for healing and growth, all while providing an entertaining and thought-provoking narrative.
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Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grownups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description.
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Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies, not a BDSM podcast. It's not, huh? No. Who's that? Who's that? Who's me? Scrippy. What? Scrippy. Who's my brother podcast? Scrippy. Who's he? Guys, I think we should cut Scrippy off of the podcast. No, we just got Scrippy. He's clipping his cousin who does podcast and looks like y'all are trying to go to the podcast.
I have a surprise with Will's like, Scrippie. Yeah, Will, what's going on? Could you go? Well, you invited me here then. Yeah, but like, I thought it was going to be funny, but it seems like, Will Scrippie does all our average stuff. Everyone's really upset with you right now, Scrippie. Ooh, I don't know where their fucking problem is. I'm just doing memory podcast, Scrippie. You know what? I think there's an entire plethora of people out there listening and thinking Scrippie would be a beautiful name for a baby boy.
I mean, script be interrupted. Beth, which means he fits on this podcast. Oh, Tomo, you're a scripty fan art to the Tumblr account Dungeons and Daddies Dungeons and Daddies season three, we're getting loose with the concept because this season, it's the Peachyville horror, a call of Cthulhu actual play horror comedy podcast about four everyday schmoes. Well, five everyday schmoes, one of
For every day, she was fighting the forces of darkness in suburban 1950s America. Hey, everyone. My name is Freddie Wong. I play deep thinking plumber Blake Lively. This was Blake fact prior to becoming the town plumber, Blake was a handyman of sorts. He was the town exterminator.
He's gonna have some heat coming into this insect. Oh, insect. He exterminated my dog. He's a V-Moths, you say. Oh, man. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. What is your favorite thing to know when I was prepping the episode? I could have really locked in on it. No, I wanted to surprise you. Surprise, Scruppy.
Hi, everybody. My name is Matthew Arnold. I play Kelsey Grammer. Peachyville is happiest, nappy, at school, Marm. And you know what she always says? What? Teachings, just like learning, just in reverse. So just. You didn't have a dad fact. You can just admit that and we can pause you. We're just learning to go first. You just have to be like backing up in a car. You got to be a little bit more careful when you're doing it.
You gotta be so Christopher Nolan's tenant. Thank you. I can't get over how much this reminds me of all the backwards shenanigans going on in tenants. I have three facts. I have three facts. I do a little phrase. That's fun. People like that. It's a little phrasing if you want to make it. The phrase is my favorite part. Yeah, see, and I got a fact that this time I got two facts because indeed, I'm making a promise. I know I suck people out. I suck the big fans last week that love senses with that little fake out. But now I am doing the senses. So Kelsey's favorite and least favorite smells
Her favorite smell is fresh chalk. Yep. Just a blackboard getting ready to just calcium carbonate straight into the blackboard straight into the alveoli. And the least favorite smell is wet peanut butter. That's what he's already done. What the fuck is this? Oh, God.
I know I know but it's because Milton never cleans up his dishes and is always when he's got to take out the trash he's always hanging around outside Kelsey's place and she just what peanut butter also lets her know that Milton's outside wait wait wait wait wait she's in the back house and they take the trash out of the back of the dirty dishes no because they got it I don't know what Milton's doing with that one peanut butter
No, that's a good question. That's a good question. Kelsey's never considered, why is this small, what peanut butter, leaving the kitchen sink and coming out towards the fucking back? The trash is, what's Milton doing with it?
Don't like it. You never know. Hi, I'm Anthony Burch. I play Francis Farnsworth, a kid with a gun, and his dad fact is he loves comics, but not the normal like superhero comics and stuff that you're all used to. He likes to read sort of under the radar, got canceled after one to two issues. Underground comics, a little bit underground, not full on like, like the adventures of Scrippy. Scrippies adult comics.
I'm gonna give you five comics and one of them will be made up. You have to tell me which one. Okay, go fighting Leathernecks. Oh, that's real. Well, we tell them done girl confessions.
Men. Patsy and heady. Space World. Space World's made men is held to the Marines. Oh, so six. Oh, is that six? Yeah. Space World's made. I'm in the old space world as well. Men is fake. Men is real. Men's real. I don't want to live in a world. Men, men, men. Beth is once again the only intelligent person on this podcast.
I can't accept a world where there wasn't a comic called men. I mean, there was one called many in action, but men is definitely better. Well, dang. Stay tuned. I'm looking at it like, guys, I'm looking at Wikipedia. I've got a great comic book idea for you. There's no comic name. Men is kind of finding out like store.com's available. Like we got. Guys, we can get it. Are you serious with a blind spot? We can make this comment today.
Hi, my name is Beth May. Hi, Beth May. And I play Trudy Trout, a robot. Doting, no, I'm not doting my fuck that guy. Robot. You're a winner, I guess. Mother of one beautiful child. And all right, call it my shot right now. Babe Ruth, if Trudy survives this episode, she will go on to invent the dance, the robot. Wow.
And then a cute little fact in case she dies or otherwise. She's fine. I'm literally unconscious and about to die. With a mothman. With a mothman. What's your favorite part of seeing a play? The program.
That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That one's really good. That's something though. Very good. Very good. 10 out of 10. Hi, everyone. I'm William Campos, and I am your official dungeon master. My fact, my creepy fact. And one of the creepy fact. They scare me. That's a mayor.
is a malicious entity in German and Slavic folklore that walks on people's chests when they sleep causing sleep paralysis. And also, fun fact, this is where the term nightmare comes from. Is this spooky little creature that would come at night and sit on your chest and make it so you can't move and you think your coat rack is a demon.
Wow. I just have to say, if you Google image search mayor, M.A.R.E. The first one is just a horse. This is the biggest unit of a horse. This is actually the spooky Scandinavian origin of the creature known as mayor of east town.
Oh my gosh, in the vape. In the vape pen. Yes. Wait. Quickly. Quickly. Have you guys got sleep paralysis? Oh, yeah. No. I conquered it. You conquered it? How? The power of my mind. I don't believe that's true. It's like all diseases that Freddy conquers. Yeah, that's fair. He doesn't eat medicine. He just wills it. I only got it once, but I fucking remember that shit. I was scared a couple of times. That's scary as hell. I had it once as a young kid. Never like that, but I went down as a young kid. That was terrifying.
Do you ever have those dreams where like something is attacking you and you try to punch it and you feel your arm just like. Yeah, as you throw the punch or something. Oh, really? It actually happens to me all the time. Yes, I am. Sounds like you need to get some punch training. You have a fucking stronger mind. Like Freudian analysis would be that you need to get your punch training. Allegedly, it's your brain being like, don't move all your sleep.
That's only tell your stupid brain that you're wishing it was a fucking Freddy Krinter right now. Alright, okay. Alright, let's do it. Alright, let's go on a scary adventure.
When last we left you guys, there was a knockdown drag out to fight in the house of the trout's whereupon Tucker Trout got his face pretty well blown off by Francis and his car 98 Brunhilde. Trudy conquered some inner demons. The original trudy in a harrowing sacrifice used a robot body of another trudy god that got complicated and blew up the house to buy you all precious time to escape through a portal recently opened by one moth, Jesus, AKA mothman.
I would also like to clarify that technically Tucker died to a slip throat from Trudy. So I don't think Francis gets the credit for that. He does get the credit. He gets the assist. Trudy got the last hit. It was sort of an alley-oop maneuver. Yeah. Francis is really the Scotty Pippin of Call of Cthulhu.
And we have one of the three keys, correct? You now have the green key, which is one of the three keys you need to activate the weapon that will destroy the mother of Zuzala. Perhaps save this town. Nay, this plane of realities, we know it. It was all looking really grim. You guys were surrounded by members of the bison cult in this quaint suburban home. And then this portal opened up and mothman brought you all through it before we dive in. Let's do a health point roll call.
Oh, I'm sitting at two HP to Francis three three three zero damn do we got? Unconscious can we check our sanity to oh, yeah? Roll call sanity as well sanity forty four check forty seven check eighty five Wow, I'm saying dude seventy two Francis your sanity is forty my dog. Yes anything
Trudy's unconscious as is Timmy. Who is carrying who? Oh, Trudy's carrying Timmy. Trudy's is carrying Timmy. Who's got Trudy? Trudy was carrying Kelsey. I don't think I think we were ambiguous about who is carrying. Oh, yes, yes. Mothman is sorry. If none of you are, then Mothman gently scoops unconscious Trudy in his arms and hops through the portal. As you step through, you find yourself in the lair of the Moth.
Where Trudy has already been, but she cannot explain it to you, but this is what you see. Shag carpeting. Nobody can be told. You're basically in a big underground cavern. There's a lake down here, strange lights emanating from below it. And there's this huge cocoon-like spaceship jutting halfway out of the water. Light is warping around its surface, kind of like an oil slick. Mothman sort of steps out of this portal and looks at all of you.
This is literally just like in Madam Web when she goes back to the jungle. This is, it's like the Madam Web jungle. Oh, it is. It's the jungle hideout with the water that makes you Madam Web. Yes. The spies were worth it, Mom. Yep. Moth Jesus using his antennae because both of his arms are holding Trudy jams his little speech device up to his neck and says, come with Moth Jesus quickly.
And he just starts running across the water and you see like these little like sort of light force fields on the water as he runs with Trudy towards this spaceship team. Hello, quick question. You knew here. What the fuck? Oh, yeah. He's saying Trudy. We got follow you first. I just try to run across the water to I guess. OK, great.
I do. Yeah. It's like there's like a force field. Like you realize as you step, there's like some sort of invisible force field leading from this guy runs with the same sort of joy that Althaboe runs when she's leaping across the prairie and a wizard and I she can't believe she's running on water. Blake takes steps and says this sort of undercuts the abilities of our Lord and say, yeah, are you Christian? Take a sanity roll.
Give me a sanity check. Francis is also Christian, so he will as well. Is this the first D&D podcast to do two Christian sanity rolls? I hope so. I hope so. Francis failed. Francis got a 63 sanity roll out of 40 sanity. Okay, dang. I got 100 critical failure. Oh, no. You're saying this now. Okay, so you've gone temporarily insane.
What the hell? First, we go through a portal which again is not what should be happening. We have transcended space and now I learn that Jesus Christ is not really that big of a deal. A mere insect can do what our Lord and Savior who died for our sins is able to do. This is simply too much for Blake. Okay, so for the rest of the senior and atheist now.
There is no God. Very clearly, I have seen as once we were able to be gods to the big foot, and also the robots, and also this guy called himself a moth and he's Jesus, and there is no God. No, what if every species has their own? It's just been milky. We must go to the simplest solution, simply that there is no God, and we are all deceiving ourselves.
So, yeah, we'll say that France is for failing your sanity world. Your conception of what Christianity is is open up a little bit. Yeah. You're like, you know, maybe the other, maybe, maybe, you know, like, maybe it's all, you know, they're like, we're trying to kill and then there's the real God and then there's the moth gods. Exactly. It can be anything. You're saying a pantheon, a pantheistic existence. So while you two are having this heated theological thing. I think it also turns around and just goes to like reach your hands as a guy. So come on, we can follow Trudy and I hold hands out the water and you can walk on it.
Yeah, that's what we're talking about. That's why we're in the middle. Just close your eyes and follow me. Oh, like blind faith. Yeah, that's fine. You still have blind faith. Okay, fine. I just want to follow through. Absolutely not. My eyes are finally open. My eyes are open for the first time. Look, Francis behind us, one set of footprints.
That's because we all walked in single file. There. Could this not be also the case with the beach and with the Jesus? Well, yeah, that would just mean there's like multiple jesai. Oh my god. Oh, or is there even one? Do you follow into the spaceship? The spaceship? Yeah, I missed that part. I was saying there's a big cocoon-like spaceship.
Oh, I didn't catch that. Okay, yes. He runs across the water towards a big cocoon-like space. Can we really look at what flavor of space ship are we time out here? Is it like? Yeah, but I'm like, is it 1950s like londart-looking space ship? Is it like a saucer? Is it the one from an abandoned stay? I'll tell you what it is. It's like if David Cronenberg did a Mott space ship. It's weird. It's bulbous. It's kind of.
Ooh, like the silonships that are the silons themselves. Yeah, they're kind of organic-y. Yeah, because it's kind of like a cocoon. I remember what you're talking about. It's like the gun from existence. You run into the existence-ass spaceship. I'm having an existential kind of moment to myself.
Okay, so the inside of this thing is like, you know, there's like these high sloping walls. It's very curvy in here. Is it wet? It's not wet, but the ground is like a little spongy. You can't tell if this is like metal or it's organic. Well, it's definitely not metal. Give it a spongy, yeah. But it could be like a spongy metal, some sort of spongy moth metal. That's crazy. What else am I learning? You guys need that bird on TikTok who can tell what things are made of. Is that what? There's like this parrot on TikTok.
And like, his owner just gives him things and he taps his beak on it and he's like, metal. And I'm like, that's fucking freaky. But like, but the owner knows. The owner knows what the thing is made of. So why would the owner need this parrot to tell him what he already knows? Well, because it's weird because like, the parrot's not just mimicking things. It's like, it understands that that's metal. So you step into this mysterious spaceship. It's not metal. There's sort of like any parrot could tell you that. What are you talking about, Lee?
Yes, it's utterly alien. There's kind of serenely calm in here. You see a bunch of like old junk all over the place. They're like there's old paperback books. There's like magazines. There's like old pottery going back seemingly sentry. Just kind of scattered all over the place. It's got a kind of like a real nest in here. This place is kind of a dump. You see, Mothman has already stepped into an area of the ship that looks like it must be some sort of medical chamber as the closest you could think up to it. And he slams Trudas slams. He sets Trudy down on this table.
He slams Trudy down on this table and you all gasp for a second, but then the sponginess of the metal cushions in her body. And as he's looking over her, he says, time is up the essence. She is dying. I must repair her. But you, you are all mouth. Jesus can tell. Very harmed. You are damaged. Yeah.
I mean, in many ways, yeah. Yeah, how do we help Trudy? I mean, I will tend to Trudy. You must heal the hour of the whole draws near. Only you can stop the hour of the whole hour of the whole hour of the whole. Yes. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. Also who?
Who are you? Yes, who the fuck is this? You were flying, right? Yes. And then, did you go into Francis' house? Yes. Oh, are you with a baseball bat? Yes, you did. Sorry. You have met this person before, this creature.
Yeah, he broke into my house. Yeah, you were talking Francis. Francis, as you know, Castle Doctrine allows you to attack. I took my ground. You hear this impatient grumbling in Moth Jesus' voice as he realizes he's going to have to explain a lot of stuff to you that he didn't really think he was going to have to explain to someone. And then he goes, time is off the essence. OK, either heal right now in this weird tube. And he points to there's like six tubes in here that are like goo tubes. And if you step into them saying you can hold on one more. Moth Jesus.
Can't tell his tail. Well, we do like, tell us while we're in the tube. Oh, we can't hear in there. I mean, I have no problem going to heal. I just want points for I feel like we're being pretty progressive. Just allow it. Just like, like we're not really asking a lot of questions here. And we're just going to do what he says. Like, when we talk next, like, you know, like steps right up to Machus, I used to kill pieces of shit like you. We know of you, Blake, like the Slayer of Mars.
and also a sort of other... Jesus, Moth, Jesus. ...and hermites and other manner of a... Moth, Jesus cares not for termites. Pest? Wait, Moth, Jesus, are you Jesus of actual Moth? No, well... Where are you? Wait, yes. That's what I was going with. He's the name that she gave me. And he like sort of like... Oh, no! ...soaks her cheek with like... Okay, well, the eight, leave her alone for you.
But she is dying and I must tend to her. Okay. Moth Jesus must save Trudy. Trudy strong. Trudy wise. Wait, so you promise you can save her, right? Yes. Moth Jesus has done so once before. She opens this cupboard and like just a bunch of like rusty parts of other trudies. Oh my god. Tumble out and he starts rooting through them. He's just trying to figure out what he's going to fix her with. He's killing all this other trudies.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, we must. Woman, yeah, what? Oh, right, yes, right. Looking at you, man. We must plan for every eventuality if this insect creature is, in fact, evil. We must kill it. And then Tenanturn stores you when he looks at you, and he just, and then he walks over to another pile of junk and pulls out the bowling trophy. Then you took our bowling trophy on the ground. There's like a sort of liquid shimmering in it.
and he bites into his hand and just sort of tears at it and then like some blood of his drips into the liquid and it starts to shimmer. Gaze into the liquid. Oh, okay. And then he just goes back to fixing Trudy. Okay, as long as I just, we can't let Trudy die and can I see what he's kind of like, what is he doing? She got bit by this monster, essentially, by the robot and she's unconscious and he's like looking for parts to fix her. Okay.
And the liquid is like, it's just like in a bowl, I guess. It's a mystery goo that is in the trophy and he just dripped his blood into it and now seems to be glowing ethereal. You guys want to take a look? I think I want to keep an eye on him until Trudy is safe and then I'll step into the goo healing chamber.
I will hazard a look into this other goo chamber inside the bowl. Yeah, much as you do mind if we just we really care about Trudy and like obviously we'll heal ourselves and also like I'm working on a little encyclopedia and doctoring is kind of next so like I could just watch what you're doing. Okay, I'm taking notes and watch it and prepare a Trudy. The section on doctoring and this encyclopedia is going to be so fucking wrong.
So Freddy you gaze into the liquid though. I will hazard a gaze All right So as you gaze in like we do like a little god I'm so fucking screenwriter pilled all you can think of is stupid like we push in and then we push What's wrong with that? It's a auditory media fear of a mind we star wipe we stick yeah
Hey, just throw some crazy. Look, we also didn't walk across water. We didn't do anything. Yeah, but I wasn't describing camera movements while you did that. Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. I'm trying with Will. That is one of my pet peeves. I'm trying like we reveal. We see it. It's like, no, it's just saying. We reveal that can mean anything.
as you gaze into the shimmering liquid in the trophy, your eyes glaze over and you behold a vision. You see before you a smog, smoky, pollution-filled alien world ravaged as thousands of moths, these moth people buzz about millions of them, a vision of a whole world, you behold it in your eye.
Where is this mug coming from? It's not like Karshmog, but it's just a weird hostile atmosphere of this planet. It's thick with a haze. Through the haze, you see these moths buzzing around. You see their whole world, their whole civilization flooding your senses as memories of this culture and this people come to you. And then you realize as they realize that their son is dying.
We all have one son. You realize the nearest star to them, the star, the light in the sky that they worship. Which they're flying towards at all times. Flying towards at all times through their orbit is on the verge of going supernova and they need a new world to settle. So they send a bunch of mods for like, no, no, no, this is going to be good.
Like when it goes supernova, it's going to be the best time it's ever been for us. They send emissary ships out through the universe, each with a moth in them, and then blast them through space and time. And over the course of millions of years, they travel to various worlds throughout our galaxy. Many go into other suns. It's kind of fucked up. And one of them finds the light of our world and lands millions and millions of years ago in the past.
and using the advanced technology of this ancient moth civilization creates a progenitor race, a progenitor race of these ape-like mammalian creatures with hyperintelligence knowing that one day they will grow and evolve and pollute and ruin the atmosphere of this world such that the moths can settle here once more and call it their home.
And that moth is, of course, moth Jesus, the moth you've been following. These steward and caretaker of the terraforming virus race that was brought here to earth known as the Humans. And that's what he's been doing here this whole time.
If he made us, that means he's like real Jesus. We don't even have to separate him into my moth pantheon. You're right. He made us to destroy us. So wait, does this vision give any insight into what happens after we become, you know, pollute the hell out of this place? No, well, I mean, that hasn't happened, but like, you know, forward-looking projections.
Yeah, what did I say? The mop cornerly. I feel like, yeah, I think Blake has an adult with a critical thinking skills. Yeah, you can take it. Whatever conclusions is now atheist mind wants from this vision. If there is no God who created the moths.
Well, the moths created us say this. You see a little bit more, which is you see Moth Jesus watching over our society for over thousands and thousands of years, occasionally intervening when it seems we're on the brink of giving some good examples. There's a lot of stuff he didn't stop letting it stop. But he wants us to intervene. So when it seems like humanity is truly on the brink of destroying itself entirely, you see him like two world wars. Not really. Not a big one. No, you know, you mean the couple of atomic bombs. He came up. He came up with D. Day.
Yeah. There you go. There you go. You see him sinking the Lucidani. They're all like everyone thinks that's like, oh, yeah. No, these disasters. No, for real, all these disasters that seem like disasters were just him altering the course of history. Just him being to make sure Francis Ferdinand had to turn his car over when a moth hit his windshield. Yeah, dude, he's in there at the Hindenburg being like, who me?
But now he's become aware of a new threat to humanity in the form of Project Heartland, which is why he's taken roost here. And he's been intervening trying to stop their schemes, starting with taking this trophy that they were trying to pass off to their agents in Pichyville. What's so special about this trophy? Well, I mean, it's allowing you to do what you're doing now. It allows you to like see into the past and see into other places. Hey, that's a crazy thing to win just from bowling good.
Oh, yes, good idea Francis you give me your boy scout pen knife here it is and I put my blood in the bowl now Okay, do anything yeah, and I stare in you tell me we're looking at your own history now
Oh, but it's intermingled with like every so often just different care. Like my mom and dad are moms. This is not my injury. This is a little bit mixed up. Go ahead and tell us the entire story of Blake Lively's life. We started as a cat.
Here's my thought, Blake Lively is somewhere in idyllic, like, you know, like sound the music. Yeah. Like idyllic ass mountains and fields, like just frolicking. And there's mobs everywhere, way too many mods that you would expect. And I went weird. And then World War happens. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-h
What? You're gonna be awful. But now the few... No, don't worry about the field in World War I happening. You're just gonna be old. No, no hate, no family, no contact. Hey, this is what... This is what happens when you mix up the things. It gets a little abbreviated and more moth flavor, you know?
There's just a lot more bright light sources just lying around and sort of staring at it. And then what happens? And then Blake goes like a big good fortune happens. Then I guess get this one back into a different field. Then what would you happen? Get this. Well, no, the first field now it's got shells everywhere, dude. And the sign saying, no, the fair boat in, you know, you can't go here and Blake's like, ah, my homeland. Which one we don't know.
We don't know. We know the Germans took it over and said, you can't come here. So that there was it down. And they ruined it. And then, guess what, Will? A second World War! Didn't see that one fucking coming. Like, fighting now. And another field. A lot of World War II happening in fields, you know?
Fighting Yeah, if you think about it maybe we banned history some of the biggest wars and battles have taken place in a deal that hits me right in the fields
And then now Blake is fun. I feel like I know less about playing this for me. Now Blake is on a steam ship with a little a little hat and he's coming to America himself could not take the ship.
And he waves that, uh, at, uh, the statue. Are you going to call back the statue of Liberty, baby? Yeah, I thought because that's where he's coming in. And now he sees original Tony Collette diving into the water after getting shot by his parents. Yeah, exactly. And then he's Ellis. I only like, what's your name? Love? And you're like, right?
There's an old British lady in Ellis Island taking people away. You said I have! Welcome to America! Welcome to America! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Anthony! What? That's how they say it in Titanic. I was just copying what you were doing, and you made fun of me for it. Yeah, I did. I'm sorry. Also, Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was... Blake was...
20 what song do the math? Was frolicking it was his parents? His parents were dancing parents fucking in their mop-filled field Yes, that's what we're gonna see a Hillsborough life Hills were alive, and then your dad died while we're wine and your mom raised no you didn't see any of that
The moms are kind of blurring my past a little bit. Okay, I'm so glad we did this He's living in some real real shithole in the city and he gets a newspaper article that says come to Pichyville It's like a plan community and Blaco's that looks like a better place than here and he looks around the place full of moths and
But are they real? Or just the figment of this stream? You even do that because he saw a picture of Peachy going to look like a field and he went like, oh, I like fields.
Hey, Trudy. I think kind of you see Trudy and the three of us are trying to come up with a birthday party. We're like, what theme should we do for Blake? I don't know. Just like fields. Like fields, I guess. It's also a nice field theme birthday party for Blake. So they settles in Peachyville and loves it here. Ah, my whole story in the nutshell. Beautiful. Well, I guess in the trophy, regardless, you now know what Moth Jesus is doing here. I'm assuming Blake just told us. I tell you that Moth Jesus is. As he was watching it, you were hearing him speak. Like just, he was zoned out just explaining everything he saw.
I mean, you're helping us, but you're only helping us so that then we can destroy ourselves later in a different way. Yes. Oh. But that will happen millions of years from now. Yeah, that's a later problem, I think. OK, now it's fine. I just want to understand. So you're like, wait, hold on to be clear. Jesus wishes to stop the powers that be from ruining this world because it is our world. And you want and you want. And to be clear, you're a big fan of leaded gasoline. Yes. OK. Interesting.
They're atmosphere has a high, a lot I lighted it. Yes. That's what you got from the. Yeah. I don't know if we can like blame Moth Jesus. He's the one man of sorts. We can't blame for everything that's happening on earth. Seems like seems like your people put a lot of responsibility on each of you. You're kind of a stressed out worker, huh? Moth Jesus life is a lonely one. Okay. I sit in the shadows. Watching. Blowing up Zeppelin. Blowing up Zeppelins. Watching humanity grow in my way. I have come to care for them.
Oh, great. Well, speaking of caring for them, can you... Yes, that's what I'm trying to do. That is what Mott Jesus tries to do, but you distract Mott Jesus. Get in the tubes! It's a YouTube, if you will. Step into the YouTube's. Wait, we're gonna watch you fix Trudy first.
He makes the sounds. He goes, he's stretching in the tube too, right? Trudy is special. Trudy is different. She is made of metal observed. He presses a button on her and like her whole torso pops over. Oh, gears and shit. And he's like, the tube is not for Trudy. I just pointed out a random part of Trudy's inside. I was like, what's that to? Don't touch that. Touch not the glows or queuing.
Whoa. Holy shit, she's got a glow door. Right back down. That's going to be born later. Right down the glow door. OK, how do you spell that? OK, so you probably yellow Z-O-R-B-E. Glow Zorb. All right. Kelsey's going to get a tube as she's like sinking into the tube. Oh, wait. You're going to get a tube.
Must Jesus must caution. Okay. The tube heals, but the tube also changes. Oh, strange things. Strange visions shall be had in the tube, but healed you shall be. Like cup visions? So the cup is like the tube without the healing part. Wait, why did you eat the cup bed? This isn't a better cup.
It could be iterative design. You started with the cup. This is like the eye. The tube awakens potentials and possibilities within one's nature. Okay. You bring into the tube only what do you take with you? This guy really likes tubes, huh? I mean, yeah, I can't help. Okay. Well, I will hurt. I agree with you. I slip into the tube. I'm doing like the eye thing. Like I'm watching you as I like slip down into the tube. Blake loudly strips fully butt naked.
You do to okay. Steps into the spot. That hit him. Let me tell you, that's going to be an easy roll. Give me a bonus roll. A bonus roll. I got 50. That was fine. I don't know how. Yeah, your spot hidden. Decide is not whatever. But yes, sure. What's the age gap between Elsie and Blake? So like Millennial age gap or Gen Z age gap? What is that? Sorry. It gets inappropriate.
Let's wait into this discourse that's gonna go into a goop pod as well And then you guys also pod for me. It's like an iPod
as cousins going down, she's like, wait, do we have to get naked? No. What? Okay. As you step into this goo, you feel like this cold, slimy, viscous substance sort of slide all over you and you submerge into it. Your body, you seem to merge with it. It's almost like the way in like a chrysalis, like a butterfly dissolves. Oh, no. When it's reformed.
It hurts probably. No, it doesn't hurt. It's like, but it's surreal. And you feel your consciousness set free. This is like the one time I ate mushrooms in that field. Well, that's why he's not too much. So much field lore. You each undergo. He feels over here. That's what I call field trip. Oh, that's good. That's a good one. Each of you undergo an experience.
Who would like to experience their experience first? Ooh, I shall experience my experience. Excellent. Kelsey, you open your eyes and you are in your childhood bedroom. It's like a peaceful, quiet Sunday morning. Give me an intelligence roll.
I'm a child, so I fumbled that. I've got 96. Okay, you are convinced that everything that just happened to you is a horrible nightmare. And you're actually a child and you just woke up from the strangest nightmare. You're gonna be a middle-aged teacher. And we were there, and you were there.
As you sit there gathering your wits, you're the doorbell. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm going to run down and go see who's there. You step out of your door, it swings open, and before you can get there, you see your parents answering the door. The door swings open, and there's a stern-looking young army officer standing at the door in his dress uniform, and he's got a package with him. And just from the look on his face, your father breaks down sobbing because they know what this is. They know what's happened. They know that their son, John, is dead.
We cut to not cut to you blink. Nature's cut. Nature's cut. You're sitting there sobbing at the kitchen table. Your parents are trying to talk to you trying to explain what happened that your brother John was shot through the chest at a place you've never heard of called Vimi Ridge. And in the back of your mind, something about that seems wrong. Something seems strange. You were like, didn't he die at Verdun? What happened?
but what's going on? And they're showing you now his uniform and it has this clean hole straight through where his heart would be. Yeah, this didn't happen, Mom. It's okay. It did happen, honey. It did happen and we need to accept it, but it's going to be hard and we're going to have to be brave together. And I know that John,
would have wanted you to have this too, and she hands you your charm bracelet. But the bracelet, as you look at it, it's garbled. It's like trying to retext in a dream. It doesn't make sense. There's something about it that's shifting. It seems sharp. It hurts you when you touch it. You feel this twinge of pain as you reach out to it, and then you open your eyes again, and you're at that table now, an adult with John grabbing him, warning him that he gets shot through the heart at Vimy Ridge. But as you're trying to say it, you're like, no, that's wrong. It's at Verdun. It's at Verdun.
You snap back and you're in your bedroom again, your child again, and the loop continues. Now his uniform is ripped through the stomach. You're telling him that he caught shrapnel, a passion dale. You hear that doorbell ring again again. You hear your father sob. You see yourself warning your brother over and over, naming dozens of battlefields as you describe all manner of gruesome death to him. Grenade, passion dale, artillery fire, the 100 days offensive sniper fire on a risky night rate at the St. Quentin Canal. And you feel that bracelet, that charm bracelet,
twitching, glitching, digging tighter and tighter into your wrist. The loop gets faster and faster, a blur of images, a whirlpool of grief and pain. You feel yourself getting sucked into something deeper and deeper and darker and faster than you could possibly comprehend. And then you feel a strong ice cold arm grab you from behind and you wake up. You're in a bed again. Oh, a big Victorian four post bed, like in a big gothic mansion out of pride and prejudice or something like that.
Candles are twinkling everywhere around you. There's a fire roaring in the fireplace after teacher salary You look down you see you're wearing a billowy sleeping gown and you hear harpsichord music playing downstairs Oh, yeah, and the glitchy charm bracelet is still sort of digging into like a different house completely different It's you're in a huge mansion. It feels like timeless But you know it has the feel of like a 17th century gothic manner. I will go slowly Peek around to see what's making that music
You follow the sound to the door, and as you open the door, you see this long corridor stretching out into darkness. There's one of those old fucking candelabras, if you want to grab it. You're like one of those. Is it dark? In the hallway? Yeah. Oh, I'll grab the candle.
I'm just trying to paint the steel. So as you walk down this mysterious hallway, you pass this line of portraits that seem to portray ancient warriors and, you know, powerful magicians, strange, powerful magicians, powerful magicians.
Chris Angel signed? Is Chris Angel's size like to my number one fan? And you see other portraits of what seem to be heroes and warriors from species strewn across the galaxy that you've never even seen before. OK, this is a joke. Hello. The music stops for a second and then continues playing. Last rude. Hello. I know you heard me.
Yes, I did hear you. You hear the voice of Zuzal calling from below. Come to me, Kelsey. We have much to discuss. His voice echoes down the hallway. Can you come here?
I mean, I'm okay. She was like, you're like a god or whatever. Just a little scare. I find myself a little frozen place right now. That's fair, Kelsey. You hear the harpsichord stop and you hear like the piano bench like scuffling and then you hear footsteps coming up these stairs and you see this shadowy twisting form of Zuzel stepping closer and closer to you in the shadows in the light. And then as he comes forward again, like from the painting, you remember he had this sort of like non-Euclidean writhing mass of muscle.
was what you remember. Now that writhing mass of muscle, sort of like clad in like a silk shirt, like a billowy silk shirt, he's got pants on, he's got like, he just looks like he's out of a gotha gromance dollar or something like that. His face, his hideous face, he's covered with a golden mask and he steps up to you and says, you've awoken, have you recovered? I mean, no, I'm healing in the tube and now I'm here.
What do you want with me anyways? Can we undo like I just wanted way and do with me? I saved you and now I wish to explain. Okay. Come with me and he just walks off down the hallway.
You walk into the hallway and you find yourself standing at the edge of a long stairwell descending into the biggest library you've ever seen. Just rose and rose and rose of ancient tomes, of all manner of knowledge that you could possibly ever want to read. Yeah, it's no big deal.
I don't keep books that I haven't read to you. Yeah, you might read them again. You grab one of the books. Yeah, that's a good. I'm overwhelmed. So many books. It's the prima strategy guide to mist. That's how you beat it.
You don't need to worry about the blue or red pages. This is so tail as old as time coded. Roll a D 100 for me. Twenty five. All right, what book do I get? OK, Matt, I'm not. I'm not shitting you. You grab this book and it seems to be written in Greek, but for some reason you can understand it. And the title says Necronomicon.
Oh, oh, wow. This is a, I look at it. I look at it. Is it V comma V? So yes, it's this horrible ancient tome of dark and lost secrets and forbidden knowledge. And if you'd like to thumb through it, normally you'd have to spend weeks studying it. But for the price of one sanity role, I will allow you to pick a spell.
Plum the depths of the neck. I'm still I still have the ability to learn to spell right? Cause I got that. I have a spell like no, you were supposed to take two weeks to study the book to learn it. And you never did that. What I have spells that I want to use. All right. Fine. You can use one of those spells. Yes. Oh, I get a second spell you're saying. No, you get one spell. Oh, why does this say so? You never read the other book? No, I.
There's a home again and for reading books, and I put you in a whole-time dilation chamber, and so you might have had the idea to use the two weeks you were hanging around, and people would land to read a book, and then you'd be like, no, I have a spell I could use. Okay, well, so now I have a spell I could use, because I've been researching spells. Yes, if you've been, Matt Arnold has been researching spells, I will let you pick the spell. Okay, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, okay, well, yeah. So I flip through it, and I go, first off, I look as a result, I've learned enough to know not to say any of these words out loud, so I think I'm gonna be okay. And then I read through it, I go, ah, that's the spell I want.
You can hold on to what's spelled it. Yeah, and I have a few that I was thinking of saying I learned. I just wasn't sure when I would say I used it. Great. Is this like all knowledge in the world? Yes. Or more than the world? This is my humble abode, my palace in exile. This is where the powers that be banished me to. Check it out. The winds of winter. Science edition.
Because the powers that be like want to destroy our world. They fear me. Oh, well, why fear what I represent, which is power. Oh, but the good kind. I would use it for good. They don't understand me. What do you consider good? Whatever Zuzel deems good, of course. OK, no, you don't be defensive. I'm just trying to understand.
I just a lot's going on. I'm sorry. I'm not used to conversation. It's been a while since I had anybody back here. No, he said we met his moth guy and he's like wants to help us, but eventually he's in destroy us. And then he's saying, the power's that B are going to destroy us. So I was like, oh, well, if the power's that B got rid of you, maybe you're on our site. I was trying to figure out what you want to do. I wish for all life to blossom.
Oh, that's wait. My motivation's beyond your comprehension. Well, that's a salt, okay. What does an ant know of what a human was? Okay, well, you brightened by this ant over to your house. So what do you want from this ant?
come with me and he leaves you down. I'll keep coming with me. The one I want to show you is down there. Oh, okay. I thought they were like, wow, you got better feeling better than this live person. You would have it. Yeah, I've got it. Kelsey. Yes. When you traveled back in time. Yeah. You awoke to something. You gained a glimpse at your true self.
You see, there are many worlds and many realities, much like there are these many books you see. But there's only one you. There's only one Kelsey. There's only one self, a glorious thread being woven through the infinity of infinities. And you, Kelsey, are but a strand of that thread.
Okay. One of many woven together strand of the thread. Okay. When you went back in time and changed your timeline. I did. When you spoke to your brother, you altered the course of your fate and his and you opened a hole in time and space and you pulled the thread that is Kelsey through it.
Okay, you are but one strand of this thread when you warned your brother of his death You tangled this thread and his the visions you have been perceiving are the many strands of your true self Twisting into a loop that draws ever and ever tighter It's threatened to overwhelm you until I saved you and brought you here But still it grows tighter and tighter around you and around and he grabs your wrist and holds up the bracelet around this and
So wait, I don't care about me, so wait, is my brother, so that happened? I warned, did it change? Something has changed. I know not what is not my fate. It is yours. It's your fate that has changed and its change involves this. Yes, I sense his fate woven into it as well. He sends you a message in this bracelet and this bobble, this trinket, but to untangle your thread, to be free of these visions, you must decipher it or forget it entirely. I can help you in whichever path you choose.
I mean, can I open it and read it? Only with the vision, with the insight, with the power of your full knowledge of your true self. Can you decipher this message as but a shadow of yourself? You're unable to decipher what it says, but I can show you your true self, Kelsey. Are you showing me like a book or like, like, what's the, well, how do I have to find a true self? I just, he steps up to this mirror, but the mirror is covered in a cloak.
I can show you your true self, but you will be forever changed by what you see or any points to the flames. Those are the big fireplaces. There's another big player or you may cast the bracelet into the fire and you will forget it ever existed, but you will be free of the visions that have been haunting you.
Oh, no, I'm not this my brother's bracelet. No, and it occurs. I mean, isn't like most of your life trying to find out yourself? I have no problem. Yeah. Yeah, let's look in the mirror. You can kind of sense again. He's got this mask on to keep him from freaking out, but you can see like a vibe of admiration when you say that the bravery of being like, fucking, I want to see this. He respects it. Okay. It says very well.
Behold, Kelsey, as Zuzel sees her, as she truly is, and he repulses this cloak off of the mirror, and you're staring your mind reels just taking it in. It's you, but it's- But smokin' hot. But smokin' hot. But- But- But it's like you're one side of an infinite-sided dice, essentially. Like of an infinite-sided structure, your flesh weaves and writhes around. I mean, end of interstellar?
Like the book, more like a D1000. Weirdly what you look like. Your body shifts and twists around the way that Zuzel stuffs. And as you look at this and you gaze at the sort of like many manifold versions of Kelsey that all make up the one true Kelsey, the Earth, Kelsey, you realize that what you've been seeing in Zuzel is just all of one consciousness, all of one entity perceived in one dimension of time.
And now you've gotten this multi-form look at your own persona as it were, as it throws itself through time. And you become one with it as you're looking at it. And as you do, your gaze falls down onto that bracelet. Finally, you can see the charm bracelet for what it is and for the symbols that are on it. So here's what you see. Write this down.
an eye. Okay. Wait, the letter or the. Yeah, I like an eyeball. An eyeball. Okay. An eye. Just say it will. An eyeball. One eye. Yep. Just the one. Yep. Let her. Compass. Compass. A peach. A peach. A bison.
A bison. Okay. So far, I'm feeling a theme here. Peachyville bison. A lock. A lock. An hourglass. Hourglass. And a skull. Skull. And this is in like one of those like... You could just find the little charms and a charm bracelet, but that's the order they're in. So they are like hanging little charms. Yeah. You told your brother to fill it with charms for all the places he's been. And now these are the charms that he's given you. Would you like me to tell you those again? No, I wrote them down. I got it. You got it.
For the audience, one more time, if they want to play along at home, those items were an eye, a compass, a peach, a bison, a lock, an hourglass and a skull. By the way, I was thrilled to find out that all of these symbols have emojis. As all these four symbols seer into your memory, you wake up and you stumble out of the tube.
Well, that was happening. Meanwhile, Beth Trudy wakes up and your head is on a workbench.
You see before you, you're sort of like opened body on this table with wires and gears all. Oh, why? And then Mothman pops up from beneath it. Remain calm, Judy. You've regained consciousness. Good. Where's Timmy? Timmy? So he turns your head towards Timmy, and you see Timmy lying there. And he says, the one known as Timmy rests. I have yet to decipher the manner of his ailment.
What do you mean? What's wrong with him? He goes over to Timmy and he turns his head towards you and you see like there's like a little puncture in his head where Mothman drew something out of him and he holds up this syringe. He says, this fluid surrounds his brain. It is a barrier between his brain and his body. It protects his brain, yet it keeps him in this state you see. So he's on Lexapro.
And he holds it up and it's this weird, like, it looks liquid, but it's kind of crystalline as well. He says, Moth Jesus has never beheld a slime like this before, except in one place. In your brain, Trudy. And he sort of, like, reveals like he's got this other vial of, like, when I first discovered you, I discovered this coating your mind. Moth Jesus believes the secret to saving your son lies within you.
It is some part of your design, your program, something that protects your mind and allows it to adapt to these many metal carapuses and adjusters to your body. So, he needs more of this lime? That's in me? No, we must decipher the nature of this lime. And to do that, much Jesus needs your help? Yes, anything, what? I must put you in contact with your own programming.
with the architecture of your metal body. The information lies within its code, within its structure, within its architecture. But to visualize it, I must link your mind directly with it using something called safe mode. Are you ready to experience safe mode, Trudy?
If it will save Timmy, then yes. Very well. Remain still for 10 seconds. And then he presses this mole on his shoulder and holds it. It doesn't feel like anything's happening at first. And then like after 10 seconds, you're like, wow, 10 seconds is longer than I thought.
You blink and when you open your eyes, you are in like a sterile, cold office building. Like it's desaturated. It's black and white in here, actually. It's like a sort of like monochrome. There's a door in front of you and the door says system architecture. I open the door. Okay. On the other side of the door, you see this massive, seemingly endless expanse of filing cabinets.
like these skyscraper high roads just stretching off into the infinite. You know that somewhere the information that you seek is in this expanse of this library, if you will, of all of this data.
Is Arlo here? Oh, that's kind of fun. Yes. If you want to talk to Arlo, you can talk to Arlo, who's like an actual dog in this world, we'll say. Like he's an actual cocker spaniel. He's not like rigged up to a machine. Arlo, I'm looking for information. I'm looking for help to save. Hi, Trudy. My son. Hi, Arlo. Yes. It's me, Arlo. Yes. Do you know if there's a filing cabinet about slime or slime? Slime. Let me think. Oh, gee whiz. I'm only the version of Arlo that exists in your memory. So I only know what you know. Oh.
But maybe you could use your library skills to find your way through this library. That's what Arlo would do. Arlo is a very good dog, very smart, and Arlo likes to use his skills. Yes, of course, Arlo. Yes, and I will use my knowledge of the Dewey Decimal system to find out slime. Okay, give me a library use role. This will be an extreme difficulty. Oh, of course. Oh, I actually have more library use than I thought.
I pass. What? Holy shit. I got a three. What? Okay. I was. I'm so happy. That's great. So as you think and you recall the Dewey Decimal system and you bring this to your mind, you feel something inside you kind of break open.
Like as you're digging around and you're engaging this part of yourself, you feel it's almost like now that Tucker has died, now that you're off truly finally well and on your own, it's like the shackles and their strengths that he was trying to put on you as well. Like the sort of like little box that you had been stuck in for all these years has burst open. Arlo reappears and he says, Oh, you've unlocked administrator access.
Oh, wow. Do you know what that means, Judy? Maybe it means that as a woman, I finally have agency over my own future present and past. It means that and it means that you have complete control over your system architecture. He runs off down the corner and he comes back with this in his mouth. It's a user manual for an iMac. What?
will brought Beth the paper. Then I saw what it was, but I will not say it to spoil it. It is a Trudy Trout character sheet with... That's just your character sheet. Yeah, it's just my character sheet. So, you can now, while you are inside your own system architecture, at will redistribute any of your skill points. What? Ooh. Go hard guns.
I know conferences are a big DPS, but you can pick DPS better now. Yeah. I think that's seeing the Matrix where she learns a fly helicopter. You had that killer library use role. So in addition to this, you can also roughly approximate the direction you need to go to the brain slime category of your system programming.
Okay. I am going to take the 20 points that I had put into fighting slash spanking and put them into psychology. Oh, so that'll bring up to 60 psychology. Yeah. Sick. If you want, do you have any points in Spy Hidden?
Just take all that. So you, we got spun in right here. Take all this money. I guess I'm worse. I guess I'm worse psychology. But Kelly, be your eyes. It's been Max's thing. Describe to me what Trudy goes through internally as you are losing spanking ability and gaining psychological insight.
It's really tough. She's going back and kind of going through her programming as like a mother and like a disciplinarian kind of figure with Timmy. Every time he talked back out of pain and she reacted in anger and every time she didn't listen to him and every time she dismissed what he was feeling because it didn't align with what she wanted or what her goals were.
And now she's just kind of opening up to his experience of everything of the last like 10 years. Damn. OK. Don't know. We'll talk over your min-maxing. Get that spot hidden shit and get some. I'm going to take 10 out of my spot. Get some more shit out of your spot hidden. Yes. I'm going to drop that down to 50 and put 10 more into psychology. Oh, wow. That's right. All right. Explain that to me. How are you getting slightly less good at seeing things, but also 10% wiser?
It's psychological because you don't need your eyes to see where we're going. We don't need it. Freddie got it. Got it. Give me a spot hidden role.
I feel this going to be pissed. Oh, yeah. Okay. I got 21. Okay. As you're walking down the hallway, having these big sort of life changing epiphanies, you notice, but not quite as fast as you would have had you not rearranged your stats. A giant scary computer bug dropping down from these towering heights between you and where you need to go. And it's like a big robot beetle and it goes.
Can it glares at you and like, I don't really seem to lock onto you? I'm going to try to intimidate it. Okay. This is my own brain. And if I want you to turn into a smaller bug or a butterfly or a moth, then I can make that happen.
What is your intimidate score? And remember, you can juice it if you would like to. 45. I will say this bug does not look easily intimidating. So if you want to move some, yeah, you can move these around. You can put it right back afterwards. So you can do whatever you want. All right, I'm going to take my 55 out of charm and put it in intimidate. Are you going all in? Yeah. Okay. I would have to fail pretty bad. So you're now at a, you're at 100 intimidate.
Yep. Okay. Describe to me now this version of Trudy that is absolutely terrifying and has zero charm whatsoever that you shift into. I think she's doing an impersonation of Tucker. Oh, I got to hear that. Hey, bug move. Oh, I like that. Give me a roll.
12. Okay. The bug absolutely terrified. Just scurries away and zips down the hallway. You find yourself now this super intimidating, psychologically adept, spanking resistance version of yourself. You find yourself at the bottom of what you know to be the right filing cabinet that stretches yawning up into the sky above you. How do you want to get up there? Hmm. I'm going to take 45 from intimidate and put it into climb.
And you shift, you turn into Alex Honold. Yep. How much are you taking out of Intimidate? 55 out of Intimidate. So you're back to normal Intimidate. Yes. That brings you to 75, a climb.
Fuck, I failed. I got an 81. I'm going to use luck. I'm going to use six points of luck. So I'm down to 34. Oh, no. OK, great. So you're climbing up this thing, scaling with seemingly all of a sudden super innate knowledge of how to scale a large structure like this and with good hand grip placement. Now, you're a climber. You know what you're doing.
And your foot slips because one of the filing cabinet doors breaks off and you find yourself flailing, but then your hand shoots out at the last second and you grab onto a file and you slam down and you realize you're looking right at the file that you need to access. However, it's locked to you next system. I know this.
I'm going to take 20 from swim, 20 from throw, 10 from track. All right, so zero swim, zero track and zero throw. And I'm going to put that in locksmith. Okay, give me a locksmith roll.
I fail. As you fail this role, you hear Tucker's voice saying, unauthorized user detected, unauthorized user detected. And then all of a sudden you see Arlo scooting up next to you and says, hey, are you supposed to be in here, Trudy? I think, I think yes, I am. I think this is the first time I'm really, really, really supposed to be in here. Okay, well, I just, I would recommend you do whatever you got to do pretty quick because this system gets pretty mad and something bad might happen to you if you don't get out of here.
I'm going to push my role. Okay. Ooh, I like that. I succeed. Fuck yes. You want to describe to me what crazy thing you do to push this lock picking role. I think that I have like, I don't know, maybe like a bobby pin in my hand and I'm trying to use it to pick this lock on this file, but I need more pressure. And so to do that, I have to let go of my other hand holding the upright. Ooh, okay. And use two hands to put it into the lock.
The lock springs open and clicks open, the file pops out. You pull out this glittering glyph of a page of data. It's like numbers flying across this piece of paper at blinding speed. It's almost hurts to look at, but as you pick it up and you look at it, it's like some part of your brain is downloading this information and it vanishes from your hands. As you do that and you close the file, you hear these alarms going louder and louder and louder. And you hear the booming voice of Moth Jesus kind of speaking into your ear, but you can hear it in here.
Trudy, safe mode grows unsafe. I must eject you from the program. You have one minute. Get out of there. Trudy, I must right click you and eject you safely. I have pressed control. I will soon press alt and delete. Now I'm going to give you one minute on the clock to redo your character sheet. Oh my gosh. Just think about all the things that are good. Starting now. First off, no spot hidden.
I guess this is just going to be one minute of silence. Do you want to? I literally can't. I can't do this. You do it. You do it. You're now hearing me from Best Mike. She has a Celsius in front of her, keeping her energy high. She's doing some math. Her hand, unfortunately, because she's left handed like a lot of weird people. I can't see what she's writing, but peers that she is. Let me see her.
Ooh, she's getting rid of history, good thing. Don't need that, especially now anymore. No, I'm putting everything in history. Oh, you're bringing everything in history. For archives. Oh, okay. She's looking at the archives. I also see that Beth on her computer is buying presents for all of us. No one knows. 20 seconds. You got this. You got this. She got rid of some of her jump ability, so hopefully she doesn't have to jump. Okay.
Ten. Nine. I'm done. Oh, she's done. Okay, great. You burst back to consciousness and you snap back to your body, which Mothman is now in the process of screwing back on to your torso. What did you see? I saw my archives.
My history. I just need to roll and get better than a 95. Whoa! You got a 95 in history? I put 95 points in history. Holy shit, Rania. Any other highlights? Give us the synopsis of your respect. I took all of my points out of firearms. I took my five points out of ride. I took 20 points out of drive auto, my 20 points out of jump, and then 10 points out of accounting.
And so you now have a 95 points in history. Yes. But next year, the IRS is going to come after you. OK, we'll say for doing that. You also like there was just a bunch of weird dump data in there about like the history of Peachyville. So you now have like full knowledge of the entire history of the town. Well, that's great. You can access whenever you wish. Who would like to go next? Blake will go. All right. Well, that is going on while Trudy is unlocking the innermost chambers of herself. And Kelsey is doing likewise. Blake Lively.
Yes. You find yourself. You're just having a same, same boring, old anxiety dream. Oh. And it's that dream you've had so many times before. Ah, yes. You're deep in a sewer, staring down the barrel of a big rusty pipe. Yes. No, at any moment, a bunch of yucky green slime is going to come bursting through this pipe to flood the whole room.
Lucky for you, though, you've got a big bag full of pipes that you can connect to it to keep the slime flowing safely away from you and around the room. Ah, yes. Yes, the pipes need to go around. But there's one problem. All your different types of pipe are jumbled together, and you never know which one's gonna come out of your bag. Ah, yes, I hate it. Wait a minute. Like, you're gonna need to think on your feet to survive this pipe dream. No!
You're making me play a game? Freddy, I'm going to send you a link right now. Holy shit. This is Will's Jesball Revenge. Thankfully, Pipe Dream is fucking easy. Anthony, you're familiar with the classic LucasArts game, Pipe Dream, aren't you? Yes, I am. Could you explain it for our audience at home? Yes. Freddy, you have as long as it takes Anthony to explain the concept to familiarize yourself with Level 1 of Pipe Dream. Pipe Dream is a single-player puzzle game that takes place on a gridded board. On one end of the board is the Pipe entry. On another end of the board is the Pipe exit.
You are given certain tiles with a randomized series of T junctions, straight lines, corner pieces, etc. And your job is to connect the entry point to the exit point using ideally as few tiles as possible. Sometimes there are additional obstacles like, oh, you can't put any tiles all on this block or these two tiles must connect or this tile is already set in stone, etc. But it's basically just a sort of a jigsaw puzzle with a plumbing theme.
It follows in the milieu of like Windows 98 came with the computer games like 3D space kit at pinball and ski free and jazz ball and that kind of thing. They should be in the same shelf on the Smithsonian. I'm ready. You're ready. All right. So you've now played level one of pipe dream. We are going to be playing level 25 of level 25. We can do level 21. Why would you love 21? I'll take it easy. Roll a D 20 for me.
14. At the end of this, if you beat this level, you're going to get an immediate 14 point boost to your mechanical repair score, which is you overcoming your anxiety that you're a shitty plumber. If you fail, you will have a 14 point permanent sanity loss. Now I ask you, Freddie, would you like to reroll your dice?
No, I'll go with 14. Okay, great. This is like my jazz ball. Matt or Beth, would you like to do the honors of narrating? Level 20. Which level? Which level? Level 21. Blake Lively on your mark. Get set. Go. So Beth, there's green slime is going to come out on one of those pipes and he's trying to build a whole maze of pipes around to keep it from erupting onto the playing field. Oh, that's great. Well, he's building pipes. How's he doing? How are we as the slime started? Oh, the slime is just started. The slime is going to the left.
Slowly. And now it's about to go down. There it goes. How does Freddy seem? Well, that's his mental conditions. Freddy seems pretty calm. He's got me right in his ear, so that would be stressful. Oh, it seems like the slime has jumped across the map. That's why I knew some sort of slime portal. A slime portal indeed. But Freddy seems calm and collected, and his score is really jumping up. He's got a score of 650. Uh-oh. The slime's closing in, Freddy. The slime is getting pretty close.
Oh, I'm done. You won. Well, no, I didn't win, but I got the next level. Well, I'm at the next level. Okay. All right. I'll give you double or nothing if you beat the next level. I already fucked up. He already fucked up. I don't understand what the rules of this. Yeah, me neither. Oh, hold on. You're distracting him, Will.
Sounds like he is doing double or nothing. Sounds like he is. He's locked in. He's either going to get 28 points to his mechanical repair score right now, or he's going to lose 28 points of sand. Wow. Of his precious 85 sanity. Man, everybody got like stat increases. I got a riddle. Kelsey got a cool thing that will be revealed later. Oh, wow. That's also known as a riddle.
Are we doing Freddie and Beth? How's it going over there? I think it's going pretty well. I like Beth as a sports announcer just quiet. I was like, how's the sport going over there? Oh, they're playing pretty well. I think it was having a good time. If I were a sports announcer, I'd be like, do you see that?
I can't do that. I think Freddie won the level. I think I won the level. All right. Wow, quadruple or none of that. All right, Blake, as you chase this pipe around laying, as I lay pipe all over the screen. Let me tell you, let me hang on a little commentary from the pro gamer here. Here's a trick. When you get a pipe that isn't going to fit right away, throw it over the corner somewhere. Just chuck pipes all over the place. Actually, I think that that hurts your score, but
That's what I was doing. And then as the little green liquid was coming, I'd be like, this pipe will go right over there in front of it. A very, very grommet-pilled, you know, when he's like, you know, that's what I was doing. Well, that's been the post game analysis with Freddie Wong. Thanks, everyone. I felt really good. Thank God.
As you're doing this, you manage to successfully connect this pipe and run through time and overcome your internal anxiety about your shocking backstory fact that you've never been certified as a plumber, which I believe was what you told me where Steve Darkseeker was. And as you're feeling pretty good about yourself, you hear a door open behind you. I'm working. Oh, oh, is Ms. Kramer here? What? No, no, this is just, this is the toilet. Have you turned around or are you still working? I'm still working. Oh, okay. I was looking for, do you know Ms. Kramer?
Yes. That's Milton. Can you tell her that Milton's looking for her? I turn around now after here. You also smell the distinct smell of wet peanut butter. I would know that smell anywhere. It's just the child, Milton.
You have clogged your entire block with your peanut butter shenanigans. I prefer child Milton to Big Bang Theory. I just like the way it smells, Mr. Lively. I like watching the peanut butter roll down the toilet. You listen here, you little shit. I like watching it. It's funny. American porcelain is not ready for this. Alas, I can't watch it anymore, because as you see, I don't have eyes anymore.
What the hell is this? Oh my god! You see that, in fact, in punishment for by the scooping out the eyes of her son, Ma Anderson has taken Milton's sight from him. Unfortunately, me and my friend here, BB, have found a way to sort of access a different kind of sight, and we can send people messages now and stuff through our dreams. It's pretty cool. And then you hear like a child, you hear in the background, you hear another voice like, did you give, did you get Kelsey? Did you get her? Kelsey, it's me. It's me, BB. Hey, we've been captured. I found Milton, but we've been captured.
children I do not know you please please abdicate the vicinity you wake up
I feel very much like I understand plumbing now. You see, you should be using PVC glue to connect the joints together. It was so obvious this whole time, but now, now I see that the glue needs to cure first. I've learned a lot in this dream. You sure have, and not the thing you were supposed to learn. Oh, well, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, not my problem.
Francis, while all of that has been going on. Wait, so what do I, so my shit changes, right? Yes, you got 14 more points to your mechanic or 28. I don't know. That's right. All right. So your mechanical repair score is now what, Freddy? 35 plus 28 equals 63. Excellent. Congratulations. You're like, she's really a pretty good plumber. Nice. Yeah, you're very slightly better than average. Real I know Kung Fu moment over here. Finally, I can feel good about my ad in the yellow pages.
Call Blake for your adequate plumbing needs. Okay. While all that is going on, Francis, as the goo ensconces you, you feel yourself floating and then you realize you're floating in the air. You see twinkling lights above you and you feel the rush of wind all around your body.
I'm flying, I guess. You look like that comic I don't read. Do you want to fly around a little? Do you? What do you want to do? I'm going to look down and see exactly what I'm over. Okay, so you are over the lights of Peachyville. You see Peachyville beneath you and you kind of, you have an immediate sense that this isn't a dream. That you've kind of projected your consciousness out into space. A little projection, dude!
And you're soaring around, and you see the few lights that are on, because it's pretty late at night, but you also see glowing lights, like these strange glowing lights that you realize that are people, and they're people that are asleep, and the people that are awake are kind of walking around her for powers. The people that are awake are kind of like ephemeral, shady, you know, sort of wisps of people, and you can't quite see them as well, but you're in some sort of liminal space. Give me a spot hidden role.
Oh, that's a failure. It's a 95. Okay. Well, in that case, you see nothing as you hear a voice behind you say, Oh, hey, new person up here. I turn around. As you turn around, you also see nothing behind you, but you hear a voice behind you again say, Oh, got to be a little faster than that. Catch sneaky pea.
Hey Francis, how's it going? Well, it was going pretty cool. I didn't realize that you could project yourself out here like sneaky Pete. That's you could do that too. Yeah, that's how I sneak around. Oh God, so you know when people are sleeping? I know when people are sleeping. I know when they're awake. I can see into their dreams. I've seen into your dreams, young man. Oh God. Let me say I like your style.
I don't like that. You're an artist, kid. I feel like there's another sneaky peak coming into the world when I look at it. Oh, man. This sucks. I hate this. I hate you so much. Sneaky beat. I fucking hate you so much. No, I don't appreciate that, but I can. So, wait, are you asleep? No, I'm projecting myself here into the shade world, just like you, the world between the waking world and the dream world.
I'm going to see if I can look around and see a light that is maybe a little bit off-color or has a weird brightness that I don't recognize to see if maybe that's sneaky peep because he's going to be the only person that's in the liminal space like that other man. Looking for me, astro-projecting, huh? You don't know that yet! You know, I'm trying to look in and you're not going to see anything because technically I'm awake, just like you. And he points down to where you are, and he sees that you are just a gray shade, like everybody else lying in this tube.
It'd be hard to sneak around and spy around here if people could just see where you were. Yeah, but there's no idea. Like, wait, wait, are there other people that can access the Astrophiles? You gotta be careful up here. There's all sorts of nasty creatures out. Not nice fellas like you and me, Francis, but real creepos out here. Uh, describe them. Do you know what a nightmare is, Francis? Do you know the etymology of that word?
I do. It's from the Scandinavian. That's right. Wow. I didn't realize you were such an academic. Yeah. There's certain shades out here, certain people. They kind of look like those sleep paralysis demons you get sometimes. You got to be careful because they'll get you. Yeah. Yeah. But while you're up here, it's loads of fun. You can peep into people's dreams. You can check on people that you think are maybe up to no good. That's why a lot of people use it to snoop on people. That's what Sneaky Beat does for a Killism, of course. Oh, you kill people.
Well, that's less gross than what I thought was going to happen. That's almost a relief.
I like to give them nightmares first and scare them a little bit and they kill them all the way. That's fine. As long as there's nothing sexual about the nightmares. You just know, they're just spooky nightmares. You end up a couple of notches in my estimation. Oh, thank you very much. It's not that high. You're still very low, but okay. Well, there's my three o'clock and you see there's a kid like falling asleep. He's like, I got to go scare that kid's dreams a little bit, but I'll see you later. Have fun up here. And then he dives down to scare this kid. He's so doctor sleep coded.
So I'm going to fly to my own house and check on my parents. Okay, your parents are just hanging out watching TV. I'm going to try to yell at them. Hey, guys, hey, can you see me? Can you send me it anyway? They do not react to you. Okay, in that case, I'm going to find Shane Silva. Okay. As you're doing that, give me another spot hidden role. Okay.
That is a 40. My spot hidden is 25. Okay. The number one. So you see sure enough Shane Silva sleeping in his bed. There's a big chain or a little shame. This is a little shame. Did you want big chain or a little chain? I was going to go to little Shane's house hoping that big shame might be there. Okay. Well, little Shane is here and he's asleep in his bed. Race car bed is race car bed.
He's got a bandage over his leg that is kind of raised up, you know, to keep the, you know, like, I don't know, just it's healing right now. It's still a pretty gnarly wound, but he's got it all patched up, but he is sort of tossing and turning and what seems to be a distressing dream. Okay. I'll jump in that dream. Okay. You dive in the dream and you see Shane crucified on a cross.
You find yourself in a long, long line of people going up to Shane. And they all, you recognize them as like, you know, the other weirdos and bully nerds at school. Yeah, the kid that works at the fucking theater. Yeah, Sticky Rick is there. Sticky Rick. Sticky Rick's there. And all of them are holding like a big rock. And one by one, they're going up to Shane and saying like, frick off Shane, and then they throw the rock at him and it pelts him in his bare chest. And he says, he's like, thank you, thank you, thank you, I deserve that. Crucifying Anstonium, that's a real hat on a hat.
Choose one. As the line progresses, it's your turn now. And in your hands, the spear of Laundry. I'm going to summon my Ava. Shane looks down at you and his eyes well with tears, and he's actually like that kind of overjoyed to see you. And he says, Francis.
Francis, oh my God, are you really here? Wow, we! And he jumps off of the cross and he lands on the ground next to you. I mean, he did try that very well, did they? Well, he sort of pulls the nails out and he leaps down and he sort of hobbles over to you and gives you this big hug. He says, I am so glad to see you, man.
I just, I am so sorry for everything I put you through. Like, well, I've just been through such a harrowing deal lately and I'm having these nightmares. But I think like, I really, it just, it was just a wake up call. And I just like, I've been such a bad guy. And I just want you to know, I know it's not the real you. I know it's just some version of you in my dream, but I feel so guilty about the hell I put you through, man. And I just want to say I'm sorry. So Francis is going to lean over and pat the stump on his leg and say, you're welcome.
What do you mean I'm welcome? You're cured now. You're not an asshole anymore. Oh, okay. Oh, never mind. Never mind what I thought. I thought I meant you maybe, but that's probably why no one knows. So anyway, this is like in Billy Madison where he's like, I'm glad I called. Well, I'm so glad that you've had a change of heart. Yeah, man. What happened to your leg anyway?
So and then you blink and now he's like one legged pushing a boulder up a hill in hell as you're kind of sitting on the boulder and he's talking to you. Help me with that. Oh, thanks very much. It's just, well, you know, I don't know. I think it said, I mean, last a lot of crazy stuff was happening in that boxing match. I mean, you were there. Gosh, I hope you got out. You know, we don't know. They still haven't found some of the bodies, you know. Oh, no.
So they don't know what happened to you. They don't know what happened to Kelsey or that feller, Mr. Collette. God, he's not a very nice guy. I'll tell you that much. I don't know what the hell he tried to get me to bleed on him. So he could slide down this bit. This, this venue was stuck in a car. This is the vision. This is the vision in his hat. It is had guilt manifesting. It's a toy club. It's also in hell. That's right. You belong down here. I don't particularly care to be nice to anyone. You're like older, like running along as it rolls.
Will you listen here, kid? I rented you a car. Hey, shut up. No, you're dead. Or am I? I'm in his mind. I live on forever. You know they say you die twice. Once, when you're- Tony, what? That's the last time I've ever gonna say it. I live on. As you remember me.
So Shane looks at you and now he is tied to a big rock and you're like a little bird eating his liver. And he says, there's just, oh, geez, Francis, I feel like this weight's been lifted off of me, but there's just one thing that really still stresses me out. It's just my dad, you know, like he can barely look me in the eye now. And he's just so shaken by what's happened. And he's just become so obsessed with figuring out what happened to me down there.
You know, I just told him it was probably who knows, but he really, really, really needs an answer. And he's just been locked away at the office all night. He's just been staked out, just trying to figure it out. It's like he's getting obsessed today. He keeps talking about like he's getting closer to the truth, but I don't know what he's talking about. You're a smart kid. Yeah. Remember stealing your homework and you haven't some pretty insightful things to say. What do you, what do you think? You know, when I wake up, I just want to call my dad and find a way to talk to him to connect with him. What would you suggest I say to him?
Well, I think what your dad is doing is he's probably trying to process the trauma of you losing your leg and or future as a sports star. And he's trying to throw himself into his work so he can feel like he has some control over the universe, even though the universe is inherently chaotic. And so I feel like the actual move for him to do is not focus so much on solving the case and more focus on being there for his son who needs him.
Wow. Francis, that's great. Yeah. So again, priority one dropped the case. Second priority. Spend time with your son. Wow. Okay. Yeah. I'll give that some thought. You know, once he comes home tonight from the police station, I'll just I'll see if I can have a heart to heart with him. You're a good kid, Francis. And I just sorry again. And he gives you a hug and then he wakes up and you were booted out of his dream and you become aware of a new glowing light at the police station.
Uh, go check on Big Shane. As you fly over to the police station, you see Big Shane Silva slumped over on his desk. He's been burning the candle at both ends. Clearly for days, he's got stubble all over his face. Empty coffee cups, a go go out here. Trying to do that. Huh? How do you do that? Do what?
Do you hold a candle in the middle? Yeah, and it's got like the wick at both ends. And I guess, I don't know. That's a good question. I'm going to assume that's how it goes. Dude, it's a spinning candle like Darth Maul's lightsaber. Darth Maul, just working Victorian Darth Maul with a big candelabra, positioning lights and then dramatically on the other. Kevin. Kevin Obi-Wan.
That just was working far more than he should be I want you to have this your father's handle Master be careful. It would bend twice as hard, but not as long. Why don't they sell raised candle in stores?
Okay. So now that you pretty good, right? Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Just generic voice generic voice. So you see train slumped over at his desk. He's got a big, you know, stack of folders he's been working through. You can see on his walls, photos, reports and stuff like that. And he seems to be also like his son sort of fit, fleet tossing and turning in a dream.
Can I check to see what he's working on? Oh, yeah. Okay. So you see he's got a whole tableau reconstructing what he thinks happened the night of the fire at the old weird bunker on the edge of town. And so he's got the path of the fire. He's attacked photos of the victims where they found them. They all seem to be matched to dental records, but then he's also got like this big wall of unidentified victims.
And front and center are four people he knows were there based on reports and based on the movements that were going around town that have yet to be found and yet to be discovered. And they are Kelsey grammar, Trudy trout, Tony Collette and Francis Farnsworth. And it seems very preoccupied on them because of course they're the ones he ran into the day before they seem to be popping up all over the place.
He's in Trudy still at home, like robot Trudy. Oh, that's a good point. Like, doesn't- Yeah, he probably wouldn't talk to her. Don't the public think that she- Yes, no, you're right. Yes, Trudy is not there. Trudy is not there. But he's suspicious of her. There's a question mark around Trudy, because she was seen in the vicinity, but also seen at home at the same time, so something doesn't add up. Francis, this is your chance to frame Tony Cohen.
This is your chance to frame Tony Collette for your crime. You know what? Never mind. Tony Collette. That's a great name. You're not dead. That rules. So yes, you see that. And he's also clearly digging into like the activities of the bison cult itself. He's got a map of Peachyville up. He's got Tucker's house circled and there's like, Oh, he's not working for us.
He's also got the zoo and the library circled as well, and he seems to be working out something. He's trying to figure out how you guys and whatever is going on in the town are connected, because clearly they are. All right, now I jump into his head. You jump into his head, and you're in like a fucking jazzy twin-piece ass fucking Mind Palace nightclub. It's like an art exhibit of his mind and the things that are preoccupying it.
The pieces of evidence that are still puzzling him about that alcoholic Yes, he's sipping a scotch as he broods and he hasn't seen you yet But he's walking around and like exhibit one the bullet the shell recovered from the scene of his son's shooting and he's like it's a car 98 a German Nazi rifle Look at that possibly be doing here next to the shell is a model of a car 98 gun also standing there
He's got more of the photos. He's got more of the evidence. He's got blood spatter analysis. The walls around him in the room are all painted with the splatter of the blood that hit the wall when you shot a shame. But front and center, like the main thing in the room is this big painting, but the frame is empty. And above it are the words written, who shot my son? And he's kind of staring at it, just racked with thighs sweating, trying to figure this out.
So presumably because it's all the evidence and everything. They're also like photos of all the suspects and stuff somewhere on these walls and stuff like that. Yeah. OK, cool. So I'm going to walk up to Big Shane and go, that gummy like is coming back in style. What?
Sometimes my arms go back. I'm the answer that you're the answers. You're the answer. No, not that in that way. I'm like giving you the answer. Oh my, you are giving me the answer. You don't make sense. No, no, no. You know what's starting to make sense? You know what makes sense? Car 98. Car 98. Car.
Cars, cars, cars. Tony Collette pretended to be in World War II. He probably got his hands on a German rifle to try to justify that story. The rifle must belong to him. And if he's the one who has the rifle, he's a man, so he could go into the boy's bathroom.
which is where he got, where Shane got shot. And he must have done that. And he's missing. So he's clearly run away from the crime scene. He maybe he's one of those bisons. Maybe because she young Shane Silva is such a strong athletic chap, maybe the bisons thought he was a threat. And they sent their best man, Tony Collette, into a bathroom.
with a car 98, but my son, he said he saw Mr. Collette. He said he sought only collecting the air vent afterwards. That doesn't make any sense. Why would he be in the unless? No. Give me a, um, persuade role use the air vent to get into the bathroom to shoot at the same air vent. Give me a persuade role. Okay. I got an 83 out of.
10. So that was never going to work. He seems almost convinced for a second. He's like, yeah, I guess it could wait. Wait. No, no, no. My brain wouldn't say why would it send you here to tell me? Why would it send Francis? Unless Francis is trying to trick me.
unless Francis, it's all been, oh my God, it all makes sense, it was you, it was him, it was. The last thing you see right before he wakes up with a start is your face holding that car 98, sort of like fade into that who killed my son. I grabbed a picture of Tony Collette, I tried to like pace it over, pace over your own face, over my face. And he wakes up with a start and you're now back in his office and you see him frantically like,
grabbing like the nearest piece of paper he can to start furiously scribbling something. Francis did it.
I guess I got to kill one more silvie. Give me one more spot hidden rule. If only Kelsey were here, then sorry. 82, no. Okay, so in that case, you don't see anything until you turn around and you see two shadows. First, it just seems like, oh, weird. I guess that's just like the shadow from a coat rack or something like that. But like the lighting doesn't make sense. And you realize there's no coat rack there. There's just two like sort of dark silhouettes. Evashed in a rata.
just standing in the room and their eyes are somehow even darker than the pitch black shadow that they are, just staring at you. What's that? They just look at you for a second and you hear one of them say, don't be afraid. I mean, I'm not. I'm not here. Boom. They're like two inches in front of you. Jesus Christ. You need to work on your delivery.
You're done doing a good job of making you not afraid they grab you by the hand and you feel this searing hot pain You feel your flesh burning something being burned into you like a brand and these demons lock eyes with you and you hear them say we
He will find you, Francis. And right as the pain gets incredibly intense, you snap awake and you stumble out of the tube. And as you sort of come to in the slime drips off of your body, you look down at your hand where they grabbed you and there's a spiral burned into your flesh.
Guys, we got to fight Sneaky Pete. I think he's going to kill a bunch of kids. Francis, what was your personalized YouTube algorithm like? I got a lot of gameplay videos. I saw a guy like restore site to 100 people, but he was really just stuff. Yeah, it was weird. I didn't meet Zuzo. OK, well, I.
Uh, it turns out that, uh, two things. One, now I and sneaky Pete can astral project. So that's something to be worried about. And two, you can just like, what a net now, like, or was it part of the tube thing? I don't know if I can do it at will now. I hope I can do it. What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um,
I don't know, but speaking if he can definitely do it as much as he wants. So like, you know, how did you get a type of wife situation? But the bigger thing is that Shane seems to be convinced that I shot his son, Big Shane. I mean, you did. Let's not point fingers here. And that's not looking towards the past. I'm looking towards the future. And right now, Big Shane thinks I did it. So that's something we're going to have to deal with sooner or later. Also, I got this. What if you wrote a book that says if I did it?
I'm free. Maybe when this is all done, it'll be a good thing to take responsibility for what you did. And, you know, right? Did you take responsibility for those people you beat the shit out of when you were a boxer and like, you know, I was a sport license. They kind of tell you they kind of. Yeah. Did you tell anybody? No.
Are you sure? Are you sure? I hope your parents tell you that there's a tweet punching people at boxing and shooting unarmed children in the bathroom. Are you sure you haven't killed anybody in the ring accidentally? Not that I know of. Oh, well. You're right.
Well, if I did, I will take responsibility for it, for instance, we'll do it together. Okay, well, both go to the police station together, then. Okay, well, go both go to the police station. I'm not going to go to the police station. I will tell them. I will tell the police I've boxed, and if somebody might have died since I boxed up, and you tell them you shot or said shade in the lake. Okay, well, will you put it that way? I don't think that's actually a good idea. No, she's going to kill me. Oh, oh, I will not let that happen. That's not. You're not going to say I'm going to get in a prison and I'm going to somehow accidentally hang myself with my fucking bedsheets. Oh.
Well, okay. The door slides open open and Moth, Jesus enters with Trudy. Cause he runs the Trudy to give her a hug. You're alive! Kelsey! How are you? Do you feel the same? No. I feel different. I feel very different. How different? So different? And, um, I... I need to fix Timmy. Not fix him. I need to help him. Oh, is he okay? Is he alive? I mean, he's alive, but where is he? Where is he? He's back in the room that you were in. He's back in the room. I was in!
Do you want to tell us how he is or should we go look at how he is? I'm going to go look at how he is. Moth Jesus has sort of like hooked Timmy up to some basic like life support gizmos to keep him stable, but he is still basically in a coma. Like he's just lying there and machines are more us keeping him alive right now.
Moth Jesus says, it is urgent that you find a means to help young Demi. Yet it is also urgent that you defeat the bison cult so that the moth people may inhabit this world thousands of years and you may save your home. I thought I did find the means of helping him. I thought I found the thing. Alas, there is a complication.
Matthew just slams his hands under these two glowing orbs that are like on a sort of like computer array in front of him. This image appears before you and it's like a 3D model twisting in space of a chemical protein, incredibly complex, like this labyrinthine structure. And he's looking at it and he says, this is the protein that coats your brain, that coats your son's brain, the one that is slowly killing him. This is not in Britannica.
A chemical section, you know, write this down. He's beyond Moth Jesus' knowledge to understand. Moth Jesus hopes to be able to create an anti-protein to save your son. Yet, it is beyond my knowledge. However, there is a clue, and he like zooms into part of the data, and you see almost like an alien language scrawled onto the side of this thing. He says, this protein seems to have been created by one known as the Dollmaker.
Find the Dollmaker, and you shall save your son.
Dollmaker. Well, I hope that's not sneaky pea. Matches, dude. No, we're the doll. Like, where is he? Do we just go for dollmakers? Is there a place? Look in the yellow pages. I do not know the location of this dollmaker. However, you may find such knowledge where the cult archives its information. That's bullshit. That's bullshit, Matches. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to jump through hoops and find all these secret passages and I just want to help my son.
I thought that I would be able to know what to do. They always say mother knows best, but I don't know what to do. You do know what to do. Then tell me! The filmmaker created the protein that coats this boy's brain.
Therefore, the dole maker must be associated with the cult that his father works for. Now, you remember when I told you I saw that tunnel that those guys in mass were going into? Yes. That's probably a way to their cold headquarters. It's in the forest. I could take his back there. Okay. First things first, though. Moth Jesus, I have a gift from humankind, a car 98.
wield it in good faith. Moth Jesus takes the card 98 and nods sagely to you and says, if you need this weapon on your journey, Moth Jesus shall keep it safe for you. Just hold on to it. Stash it somewhere. Keep touching it. You are asking if this is yours. Actually, it's a little dirty. Let me clean it really quick and like wipe all the fingerprints off. Okay, cool. So this is yours now, technically. Moth Jesus, thanks you for this gift. Oh, you're welcome.
Now, where would you like to go next? And Moth Jesus swipes the image of the protein aside on his big sort of glowy screen, and he brings up this map of Pichyville. And you see, it's very much like the map that you saw a big chain pouring over, Francis. And you see three locations marked on this map. It's like the one you saw in the bunker. You see Tunker's house, which now has a big cross through it, and it says research underneath.
And then you see two more. You see one at the local zoo that says, containment, and you see one at the library that says, archives. And he says, archives, archives. Your quest for the keys is not yet done. Two more, you seek.
to stop the great mother. Yeah, but the archives, does that sound like where we could get the information on the dog? Can you tell me, I guess? I don't know. Yeah, we got to go get the dog. It's pretty straightforward. It's got to be that, right? Yeah, we should go there. Perhaps they contain the information inside. You know what? It makes sense, too, because I bet you I bet you bet Brian's a dog. I just don't know. The dog maker sucks, right? The dog is a real bad guy. Mother Jesus does not have this information. That's got Brian.
The librarian, Trudy, you don't look at me like that, you know him. Okay. Well, I'm just kidding. He's a kid like Brienne. I'm crying in case you do something arbitrarily violent. What? What? What? What? Got my eye on you. Very well. We fly. And then he presses a button and the whole ship begins to rumble. What? And it lifts up into the air. It's like sitting down fast if we got an airship. Oh my god. And it blasts through the cave into the sky. And he says, time is of the essence.
We must alight to the archives, and to the dark secrets within, Beechieville Public Library.
the broken sky all I ever wanted was to feel so ordinary in a world that lies twisted in my mind and now I'm gone all that I can see is a hole in the stars
Swaddling my dreams and making them scars Too far too far away But I'll stay today
We hope you've enjoyed listening to this thrilling installment of our show. You can support our antics directly, by the way, at patreon.com slash Dungeons and Dads. We're putting the finishing touches on what's looking like a multi-part tour dock of our European tour. That's going to be uploaded soon and available to all of our patrons. Quite a few video bonuses on our Patreon, including tour documentaries of our first two US tours. If you support us on Patreon, you'll also get ad-free episodes at a bonus after-show and a whole lot more for just five bucks a month.
at patreon.com slash Dungeons and Dads. Dungeons and Dads is metallromal, that's Kelsey Grammar, Anthony Burch, as Francis Farnsworth. Will Campus is our DM. Beth May is truly trapped in myself. Freddie Wong is Blake Lively. Our theme song is A Hole in the Stars by Max and Waller Brian Fernandez is our content producer. Ashton Nicholas is our community manager. Courtney Terry is our community coordinator. City Denton is our merchandise manager. Esther Ellis is our lead editor and Travis Reeves provides additional editing.
This show is supported by Patreon and some of them have the names of Zekracks, Wesley Dinsmore, Libby, Lawrence Nelson, Samantha Mann, Farsight121, Alex B, Kyle Swajkos, Matthew, Odette Alcantor, Rihanna O'Keeves, Yoav Azaria, Arise Gangley, Chloe Pem, Sam Turley Wilder, Pete Fontaine, Cody Stewart, David Reed, Gabriel Beherano, and Christopher Howley.
And the last time Matt and I said we're gonna have some more info about our movie, we're all gonna die. That's gonna be March 7th. That's the date we're targeting. You can help us with that patreon.com slash rocket jump for more information there. You can support this show directly on patreon at patreon.com slash Dungeons and Dads. Merch and more at our website Dungeonsand Dads.com and our next episodes coming at you February 11th. We will see you then.
Swaddled in my dreams and making them scars Too far too far away But I stayed today
Smoke in my dreams and making them scars Too far too far away But I stay today
No fair, Anthony gets to play Call of Duty? What? Anthony gets to play that one cyber game? Were you trying to shoot Jay and Jay? You find yourself in Chernobyl with your good friend Price.
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