S3 Ep. 13 - The Door into Plumber

Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grownups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Here it is. Trudy's dream house. A wonderful new home for Tucker's beautiful new wife, Trudy. It's completely furnished with Trudy's own sewing machine, cuckoo clack, baby blanket, and go bag.

And look, a roomy closet to put away all of Trudy's stuffy old dreams and desires. You'll have fun cooking the food, cleaning the floor, folding the laundry, washing the dishes, changing the diapers, and of course, nursing the baby, a lady's privilege.

Trudy's dream house is truly a wish come Trudy and look the whole house and everything in it folds up into the prettiest little cage to keep Trudy safe and sound Tucker will appreciate that just try running away from Trudy's dream house go ahead and try

abandon our newborn son and the only man who will ever love them. They'll never make it past the light they can fence. Because wherever you run I'll be there too. And I'll drag us back here by the fucking hair of my ass too.

Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies, not a BDSM podcast. What is it? It's a beachy podcast. This season, the beachyville horror, a call of Cthulhu actual play horror comedy podcast about four, now four, everyday schmoes, fighting the forces of darkness. You haven't joined us. I'm in the mix. No, you're not. I'm in the mix. I'm in the mix. So does the DM. So say we are. He's in the mix. The kid stays in the picture. For everyday schmoes, fighting the forces of darkness is suburban 1950s America.

I'm Freddy Wob. I play deep thinking plumber.

Blake Lively. This week's Blake fact as he wrestles with a pterodactyl. Like what the fuck? Well, people were thinking that we're being sent back in time. Maybe without what's going on. But this week's Blake fact Blake as a plumber has a favorite plumbing implement. The pee trap. The pee trap. But here's the crazy thing. It doesn't trap pee. What does it do? It prevents the gases from the sewer line to getting getting into your home.

Okay. Okay. That's it. That is a real fact. It was a real fact. I love it. So the character we needed to know the most about you gave us that cool. I love the P-trap. It's quite very smart. We haven't met him yet. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah, we're slowly learning.

Hey, everybody, my name is Matthew Arnold. I play Kelsey Grammer. Peechieville is happiest and snappy at school, Marm. And you know what she always says, whether or not a glass is half full or empty depends on whether you plan on filling it up or drinking it. Okay. Does that mean? I don't know. You know what it means? No, just think about it.

And a little fact about Kelsey is that her favorite food, and this is the thing that she gets in trouble with. This is the one, the only time she ever been in trouble at school is she cannot resist a fucking perfect PB&J, which means, and like so many kids have a little PB&J just sitting on their desk, like half Ian and it's like, well, why put it to waste? She knows that kids can put it away. She's George Costanzing half eaten PBJs. Sorry, I defend Kelsey. That's a totally acceptable thing to do.

Look, she's working hard. She gets hungry. Those kids ain't going to finish that sandwich. And maybe once or twice, maybe she ate it before the kid was done. But she canvases a PB&J. So don't put one in front of her if you need her to do anything. Say that. I'm Anthony Burch. I play Francis Marnsworth, a kid with a gun. And the Francis fact today is better than that, Anthony.

Is he? Yeah, he is. He's also anxious self-hating, addicted to masturbating. Has a weirdo. I love that bad. Love it. That's good. Love it. That's good. I said the character.

Today's peachy vax for Francis is that he was planning on cutting out a picture of Carly from his yearbook and affixing it to the butt of his rifle. Like this is what I'm fighting for. But then like he sort of saw Shane again and remember like, wait, maybe it doesn't say good things about Carly that she loves to Shane so much. So instead he is now just carving tally marks into the butt of his rifle. He has one that's like scratched out because he thought it was going to be Tucker, but turns out he's a robot and that doesn't count. So he just scratched that one out.

So he preemptively marked it? No. What are you saying you scratched it out? Like he shot Tucker and then as he was scratching it into his face, I didn't mention it at the time, but he turned it immediately, took out a pocket knife and I could start scratching it. And then saw that it was oil. I was like, God damn it. And they got to scratch it all out. Wow. That's what I'm going on for. That's what I got. Confirm your kills. Yeah. My name is Beth May, and I played Trudy Trout, a robot, doting wife, homemaker, and mother of one beautiful child.

I'll run it up. Fun fact about Trudy. Wow. Really? Oh boy. We're really sloughing towards entropy with these in the center kid. Trudy only goes to the bathroom at home because that's her IP address.

That's good. That was a really bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy. That's a

That's great. I will camp us on your daddy, oh master, and your spooky daddy fact for this week. Oh no. One I got, I found my cheat sheet again, so I'm fucking back. That's spooky. He's back, baby. He's back. He's saying he's not back. I'm thinking he's

The Tyrannosaurus Rex did not have vision based on movement. Yeah, we know that. So they... That's a common thing now. Is that right? Let him finish. We don't know where he's going. We see the movie Jurassic Park in the book of Lost World Remembers. And if I don't know someone were to find themselves being chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex this episode, let's just say... I'm still gonna be like Ian Freeze. They would not want to freeze like Ian Malcolm. Oh yeah. And I think we all remember how that worked out for Ian Malcolm.

Although he got a sexy broken leg and then his shirt was open. It worked out really well for him and us. And he got the sequels and the other ones didn't. Yeah, that's the latest theory. Oh, also quick bonus peachy fact for me this week. I am going to be guest starring in season two of Real Housewives of Dungeons and Dragons. This is one of the best fucking actual play podcasts in the game. The cast is hilarious. The plot is insane. Season two just started up yesterday. So it's a great jumping on point.

Uh, my first episode comes out on December 2nd, right after Thanksgiving. We had so much fun recording it. It's like a whole Indian and a Jones type thing. I cannot wait for you all to hear it. So yeah, go check them out, Real Housewives of Dungeons & Dragons. Okay, you guys wanna fucking- I wanna play the game. Let's do it. I wanna fight Cthulhu.

We open on a dense canopy jungle. This is going to be phrasing. I'm going to go back to you guys. I missed hanging in the air. We hear like those little birds going, oh, oh, my God. Looks like some tropical ass birds. He's getting toward the tiki room. We pan down.

And I hate it when people say we pan down an audio thing up, panning down the trees. Yeah, you tell. But help you. No, you just describe what's happening in the audience. You just say the trees are bla- The trees rustle. And a big crate comes out, right? Where am I looking though? Am I looking down? Am I panning down when I'm seeing the trees? I'm sorry, Will. I just, I love Jurassic Park so much.

The trees rustle and a man emerges from this thick dense canopy into a clearing. He has a beard now and a pterodactyl skull for like a helmet and he's got fucking tattered clothes and it's Blake Lively, the plumber. And Freddie, I have a question for Blake Lively. He's been in here for weeks now. Weeks, okay. Weeks. He's been wandering this strange new world. I love the idea of aging this character we haven't met yet.

Has Marbles the cat survived? Has he taken good care of Marbles the cat? Marbles is in the skull and like riding around like a ratatoey. So Marbles the kitty cat is ratatoeing in the skull. I love that. It's very cute. And Blake is like, we just need to find more bones to make jungle toilet.

too many weeks marbles we are shitting in ponds water holes why is he shitting in ponds nobody shits in a pot he's like this is more i drink my water you just shitting me what is he shitting no and the water is a part of everywhere than the same marbles

Marbles as you know, I have the shitting pond and the drinking pond. Very important not to miss those two up. Yes, you have a shitting pond.

If you have the wealth of many pawns, when you never shoot at all, I'm just asking you to think about the logistics, because like a pond is like, it's ground and then water. And it's a lot of water. It's a significant amount of water. That's why I'm building a dock out to the middle of the shitting pond. And then if you were to miscalculate, trip backwards and startle by any wild animal, you would be falling into the pond of shit. At first, I was doing this, but I was using vines to hold myself up.

The purpose of water for toilets is to, is a movement device to move the poop somewhere else. There's no reason to poop into water. That's like, no animals, like I'm pooping in water. He's just pooping on the ground. Why is he making a pod to poop in? Are you like a cat and you feel like you have to find your job next to avoid predators? All right. Yeah. Hey, hey, yeah. I'm dropping. I'm dropping. Here's what I'm doing. Here's your character. I'm sorry. Lake is building a dock.

Okay. Out into the middle of his poop pond so that he can deposit his poop since in the middle of the pond. Okay. Okay. Good. I'm glad they're there. As you are building, we'll say that you drop your bundle of bones that you're building with your poop deck with, so to speak. Yes, the poop deck. As you do that, you hear a noise off in the distance. You hear the sound of a motorcycle engine properly.

So my guy is like a handyman. So I wonder if I can get any more information. Sure, give me a roll. Everyone did level up, right? Yes, I did. I gave everyone a homework. They were all supposed to level up twice. So if their skills are shipped, blame them, not me. Yep. I failed one level up. I got another one. I got a little bit more spy hidden, baby. The spy hidden train is going. You can treat yourself to many skills, right? You don't have to just pick one. You don't have multiple skills. You don't have multiple? I was very clear about this. Three skills. Three, you made two levels up.

No, you get two per whatever. You get to level up twice per skill that you have used. Can I choose? No. Okay. Thank you. That's really fun. Unless you can explain to me how using those other skills led to you being better at spotting when I was being stealthy, I was spotting hidden things. You knew what it was like to be hidden because you were hiding. That's fine. I'll upgrade other stuff. I just only care about Spidey. What are we rolling? What are we doing? I'll just roll. Listen.

Okay. Do you want to like advantage as you know what cars are or what? I wrote an eighty nine. What is that strange sound of beasts? Okay. What would you like to do? You hear it rumbling off in the distance? Obviously. Hi. Oh, yeah. Hi. This is fucking a game. Fray. There's a motorcycle sound. Hmm. I want to roll. Listen.

I want to get some height. I want to pull up onto a tree. Great. I love that. You scurry up a tree. Like the high hide in Lost World. There you go. Like the high hide.

And you see down in the clearing beneath you in this mysterious tropical world you find yourself in, you see a man on a motorcycle kind of idling to a stop. I ready my battle coconut. Your battle coconut. OK, great. That's a tropical. They have some mysterious fruit you've never seen before. And you call it a coconut. I call it a coconut because I've never seen a coconut before either. You've never. Why would you call it a coconut if you've never seen one before?

That's what I figured. I heard you heard of coconut, but I've never seen a picture of a coconut. And this looks like a coconut. OK, great. So you ready your coconuts and this man down in the clearing beneath you, he starts digging a hole in the ground. He's wearing a lab coat. He's got dark black hair. Do you have you met Tucker before?

I might recognize him as someone who was in Peachyville, maybe, but not necessarily like exactly who it is because I've done work on basically everyone. Tucker does his own plumbing. You can't risk am basing his shit. He just gets a new toilet every time I use it. Every time I do a number two, he gets a new toilet.

That's real rich. That's more than boat rich. You talk every time I socks rich, where you just get to do purse socks every day. They're doing it every day. He's digging this hole. You recognize him of someone you've seen around. He's a little far away. And then he pulls out what looks like a time capsule from a satchel on his bag. And then he's all right. What looks like a time capsule? What is a time capsule metal to metal to?

You know? Oh, a time cap. Sorry. In my head, when you said the phrase time capsule, I didn't think of the things that would be very futuristic. Yeah. I was like, I was like, how do I know what a time capsule is? If anything, you'd probably be more inclined to know what a time capsule is back in the 50s is that you actually use them all the time. Yeah.

Yeah. That makes me think fucking idiot. Fozo. No, I'm not going to be mean to Freddie. Everyone else be mean to Freddie. You watch as the man below you takes a green key off of a necklace and puts it in this time capsule and buries it in the ground, then he gets on his motorcycle and drives off back into the distance.

Okay, so Blake is going to make note of that. He's going to see the tire tracks that left. Quick investigation of the tire tracks. Is this the first time that Tucker's come out into this clearing and buried something here? Or is this, do you know what I'm saying? I want to answer that question specifically, but this is the first motorcycle tracks you've seen. Okay, interesting. Zoom off into the, he disappears into another grove of tropical trees. So just in case I want to string some vines across the blind spot, you want to string some vine, baby?

where the motorcycle tracks are. So if Tucker ever comes back, you can close line him. Yes. He will be decapitated. Okay. Is that what you'd like to do right now? I'm doing that right now. Yeah. I love that. Best arch enemy gets killed off screen by a character we don't know. Do you do a professional survival instincts? Okay. Oh, we hear. Do you hear what they found in the jungle?

You follow the tracks back once they came towards the entrance of the grove. As you're tying this taut vine, you hear massive, thunderous, footfalls stomping towards you. Trees shaking. If you were to look back at your poop pool, the water would be vibrating as if one was plucking a guitar string underneath it.

A shadow falls over you, and you hear a ginormous, thunderous, ball-shaking roar as a horrible, terrible lizard stares down at you and screams a mighty scream its jaws shrieking its teeth glistening. What do you do?

I'm gonna try and trip it up by running underneath it. By the way, underneath it. Under its legs, I'm gonna thread the needle. Give me an acrobatics or style. Give me a dexterity roll if you can't come up with anything. Dexterity roll, now I happen to have quite a bit of dexterity. Oh, he's a nimble bot. I've thought about the deficiencies of my character and the ups and downs of the system, and I roll a 37.

on a 75, which is a super success. Describing me the way you nimbly weave your past. I go, I tuck in real tight like a football guy, and I just sprint straight through blindly, but pure luck has made it so that I weave through the feet effortlessly and dodge the tail. But now, now that T-Rex is no idea where I am because it will look underneath. And as it looked underneath, the guy's head stuck underneath his legs.

Well, we're not going to go that far, but you get a head start on running away from it enraged as it's Corey slips away from it. It turns around and spots you slinking and speeding through the woods and it gives chase through the jungle. Engaging you in a terrifying, deadly race for your very life. You tear through the trees limb from limb. You're not living from what you tear through the trees. It would be though.

limb from limb, the limbs are charring off the trees, vines are whipping you in the face, you go on those cool little like, do you remember in Princess Mononoke, when he gets that. Yeah, like a couple of those marbles, the cat has fully sunk his claws to get a facial scar, but it sucked.

I mean, it's like, oh man, it's just like cool little cheap off center and off to the side. Like Kylo running force awakens where it's like a nose thing. Yeah. You run and you run and you find yourself bursting through the other side of this forest as this T-Rex gives hot pursuit. You see a wide open plane in front of you with a sky. Board the plane, board the plane. The sky meets the horizon in this line that seems ever distant and then wam. You collide straight into a wall.

And you realize that the horizon is false. And you're at the edge of some stone wall, as if you're in some kind of hollow earth situation. And with that, we cut too. And I think we do still cut to in an audio environment. It's not a thing where it's like, we don't pan. You could also just say elsewhere. Elsewhere. Oh, I like that. Thanks, Anthony. Elsewhere. Suddenly elsewhere. Suddenly elsewhere. Suddenly elsewhere. Suddenly elsewhere. Suddenly elsewhere. Suddenly elsewhere. Yeah, but without the word cut, I just assume that we're like flying there. We're following a moth or something.

We've had the dire brainer just moths flying around the place. That is so moth-filled dude. An elevator door opens and our three amigos, what remains of the guttural screams, find themselves in a strange new environment that doesn't look that strange. It's like a big fucking room, like it's got big government facility vibes. I think what you'd say it is in respect to like the string circus of a three-in-circus.

You're in a room that's about like one and a half times the size of one ring and a three ring circus. And it's a, you know, like sterile environment, white walls, two hallways peeling off in a long arc on either side of you and in front of you a big

door, like a big bank vault type door. It's like a video game hallways, guys. It's like some get some Resident Evil ass core. And they make sure to go down one hallway. If it looks like it's going for a while, you turn around, go to the other hallway because that's the hallway. That's the main line. Yeah. When we last left you, you had had a harrowing encounter with the brain of the original Trudy Trout and then managed to deduce the super secret keypad code of Tucker Trout's elevator down to the actual Project Heartland Research Facility key.

Yes. We still try to get the green key. I need a green key. It was green? You didn't see it. He let it slip. He let that slip. He never said the key was green before, but now we know where it is. It's in the past. I can't find it. I'm color blind. It's in the past. I want to go to the past. Kelsey's like, I want to go to the past.

Kelsey doesn't know where the key is. Kelsey didn't see any of that. Only the audience did. Zuzal, where is the key? He's spending it. Oh, interesting, interesting, interesting. Zuzal says to you, I will tell you what I know for a price.

I'll give you as many PB and J's as you want. Who are you talking to Kelsey? Oh God, are you crazy to now? No, I'm not crazy. Didn't you? You guys are crazy too. I'm crazy. Okay. I would never call a woman crazy. I'd say hysterical. Oh, well, yeah, I feel a little bit like that right now. Oh wait, I just did call a woman crazy.

Shit. Well, Trudy, did you, that painting, did a voice talk to you? Oh, yes. Yeah. And you said- And I said no. You said- Oh. Yeah, I said no, too. What? What did you say? Yes? You said yes. Well, it was a nice painting. Oh my God! Do that! Oh my God, Ms. Grammar! Tell them you said no, and I shall give you more power.

Oh, um, I actually funny story. I know I just said that I said, uh, yes, just tell you to still lie to us, but I actually know it would never do that. I said, do that. I was like, it's telling me, no, I mean, I did, I said no to it. And you see like a tear forming down her eyes. She's nodding. Like I said, no, and everything's fine. And clearly I did what we all would have done. And I didn't make a mistake.

Well, see, I have to say that when people from now on will tell me that everything is fine, I'm inclined to not believe that. Say that. I just can't trust adults. No, I think those are both good instincts. I don't think everything's gonna be fine. I just think we need to find the green key and Zuzo's our Lord and we'll figure out a way. I mean, well, I mean, well, I mean, well, on the upside, you've gotten promoted to being in front of us all the time.

Yes, that's, you know what? That's good. I'm very well stand in front of them. Lead them to do. Oh, guys, how you talk to you now? No, no. Tell them nothing unless you wish to suffer dormant. Let's go forward. Okay. And look for a green key. Otherwise, nothing.

Oh my god! As you step forward, you hear the voice of Tucker Trout barking at you over a loud scream. Hey! What the heck do you think you're doing?

Uh, we know it's true we can't talk back to it. Don't you know that the research department is closed on Sundays? This is director Tucker Trout reminding you that Sunday is the Lord's Day, even at Project Heartland. So turn back immediately, head to your home, and spend the day with your family, silly. Oh no, he's a Christian? I can't kill another Christian? Or face disciplinary action. Message repeats. Hey! What the heck? You're in so one of those. Alright, well, here's the thing.

He was never home on Sunday either. I think he was here. Oh, he's not practicing men. Fuck it. No, I think he was. If I worked here, he probably, because it's his rule. So he could work here on Sundays. He can work here on Sundays. Do you go into his basement and just not come out? Well, yeah. Well, we got a demon who can fuck stuff up now. So that's, I guess, one way or favor. So don't lie to me again, Kelsey. Yeah, I can't take it. OK, I'm not going to lie. I didn't think it was a big deal until I found out you two said no.

Okay, yeah, no, can I roll to like I have to do this all shut up for a second

You may roll. What do I roll? Give me a willpower roll. Will power, okay. I'll have Zuzo do the same. 13. Zuzo got an 11. Oof, that sucks. And he's got probably more willpower than you. So I guess it's Zuzo won't shut up. Nice try. You wish to quiet Zuzo in your mind. No, okay. I'm a little worried about it. Now what I have. Fates are intertwined.

No, I can't eat Kelsey. I mean we hear we hear Tucker repeating and that's annoying It's hard to think and you must hear a voice like that repeating and it's hard to think and it's just a lot of voices in my voice Repeating and it's hard to think and so I understand that it's difficult

No, it's just really, it's all this is really confusing and we need to save the town and there's things that aren't in books, I know, because I've been writing a book forever and I just thought, I don't know who Zuzal is or anything and I just thought it was like, you don't say no to a teacher? Like I just thought Zuzal was a teacher, so like it would teach me things. So but now I'm worried, I'm worried I messed up.

Look, if there's anything I've learned in the past couple of days, it's that thinking too hard never actually leads to anything good. So let's just focus on the green key and keep moving forward and not think about any subtleties or any like world dilemmas or anything. We'll just go and it'll be fine. It'll be good people. Okay, let's put a pin in what you said, but I agree with you for right now. Let's just move forward. And I just need both of you. Just the next thing I say, always hold on to. Okay.

everything I say about Zuzo's life. Give me a Zuzo Roars in your brain. Give me a... That's great. I'll let you choose if you want to take a D8 of sanity loss or if you want to take a D8 of health. Sanity feels more... Okay, so we're going to say this is from... This is not a sanity roll. Yeah, this is your max sanity is going to go down. Yeah, my max sanity. Or you can take physical damage.

No, I'll take this Andy. Okay, I only have 35. So I'm going to do D eight for so 31. Okay, so yes, your brain. Wax with agony of a splitting headache. Yep. As usual, the pain of resisting the will of Zuzel in your mind. Zuzel's fine. It wasn't a big deal. You guys should have said yes. Let's keep going.

Kelsey just because somebody is like, you know, thinks that they're the boss. It doesn't mean that they're got to be the boss of you is what I've learned. Sometimes somebody is the boss of you because I have a principal and I have Zuzil now and Zuzil's great. Remember when I said the first time Zuzil's great. Let's just keep moving forward. I mean, Zuzil's not great.

Oh, what do you guys want to do? Oh, yeah. I want to check out that door. OK, so as you approach the door, it's a big vault door like a bank vault door. You see a warning written on it says all chamber doors must be shut before Stasis Field can activate. Give me a no role, everybody. I failed. I failed. I failed. You all failed your edgy role? Yep.

Damn. What's the door? What's the status field? I still can't read. I don't think. I'm going to try to open the door. OK, great. I love that. As you go to open the door, you, in fact, hear a thud on the other side of the door. You hear like a wam as if someone has run into a wall near you. And now our two scenes are merged. He did it. Somehow he did it.

A split screen comes into one view, Blake you are on the other side of this wall. Twigs in my hair. I don't see anything. We were caught on your trail. The four of you hear a thud on the wall. You've just clunked into a wall. We should shoot the first thing that comes out of there. We should blast this wall.

Was that thud? Is that the way the door works? Was that like a thud like a lock? Try again. Try to keep trying to open the door. Oh, OK, you open the door from your side to the door. What was that? The door is big. You can open it easily. It's not locked. Is there a way for Fred to open it on the other side? No, it was just a wall. Yeah, you see nothing. So guys, we do have the opportunity to the fight.

You know what? I think we should maybe check out the other hallways first because it says you have to close the other doors first. Seems like whatever is in here might be like really dangerous. I don't want to prepare by going to the other hallways. I got to hear what that thought is though. I'm sorry. I can't hear you. She says I can hear the fun.

I continue to open the door. So you open the door. There's a big pneumatic kiss as it pops open and then you see there's like a little light up display on the wall next to the door that marks four doors in this complex and you see that right now two of them are lit up. The door to the north is lit up and the door you're at the southern door is also lit up as you popped it open.

The door slides open, and you see this incredible Jurassic Tableau before you. Trees, jungle, everything, and then you see a bedraggled, disheveled, bearded, bone-wielding plumber. It does move with beards. And you also see a T-Rex thundering up behind him. Wait, wait, wait. No. Is that a kitty? Well, both of you just come in.

Ah, hello. Give me a luck roll. Just Matt, because he's the one closing the door. I failed. I got 74 57. OK, so I would like my I would like my advantage. I get once every. Right.

You feel the will of Zuzel trickling ever further into the recesses of your brain. You managed to slam the door shut. You still get it shut, but the T-Rex knows that there's something there. Like he's seen it and you hear him banging into the wall and sniffing and panting on the other side is this huge, horrible monster. I always thought dinosaurs were dumb, but it gave me a look like it knew where we are now.

I agree, and I wonder if this thing, this big thing that I can't even comprehend in my, in my soul or my brain, I wonder if it's like Moth Jesus, where it looks scary, but it's actually kind of a hunk. No. I mean, it was chasing after, like Moth Jesus just approached, right? Like this thing was chasing. Did everyone give me a sanity roll for a Sing of T-Rex, by the way? I mean, it was fucking like, cool roll, because of the shit we were seeing. Fucking cool thing we were seeing. Ooh, yes, a nine, I succeed.

I got a 67, I failed. Okay. Yay, I got 22 after those two shitty-foot rolls. I succeeded. My sanity is only 31 now. That'd give me a 1D4 sanity loss for seeing this mind-boggling sight. And it's not hunky at all. That is not hunky. Two. He looks like the most not hunky actor that they keep trying to make happen happen. Oh my goodness. It's sad, really, that they try to make this happen. Freddie, how old is Blake Lively? Blake Lively. That can't be right.

You wrote my brother in Christ you wrote the sheet 28 he's 20. Oh, he's a strapping young man young

I was like, I was like, maybe Kelsey, but no, she's not gonna make December this. Hello, who the fuck are you? What? Who are you? Yeah, it's the plumber. Are you hanging out with me? Hello. Where are you doing? How are you there? Kelsey. Hi. How's the plumbing? I mean, bad. You did a bad job. I mean, thank you. I had to learn myself. Whoa. Hey, what the fuck? You came over to my house to fix the sink and then the toilet was clogged afterward. You said I did it.

Yes, they are not connected them. Wait, you guys fix the sink in the toilet? We just didn't do it. You can do it. No, we fix it. Well, I fix it now because Blake here never fixes it. I did fix it. Just because I remember it. It's like a wash of my kids, my dog on the way out. I don't have a dog anymore.

Your hound bit my leg. I didn't kick, I tried to shake him off. Yeah, he just already died. Oh my god. Okay, there's a lot of elevated feelings.

I could say the same about you. I was rescuing marbles here. Marbles, a little baby. Hello, this is marbles. Oh, can I, I'm going to put my hand out, but like in a fist so it can't scratch my fingers. I'm just going to let it sniff. Marbles has had a traumatizing couple of weeks. Well, thanks for bringing us marbles.

Seems like you have some unfinished business with the T-Rex. No, no, I was helping marbles was in the storm drain and then the storm drain opened into a Jurassic world.

Wow, that doesn't sound as cool as a part. Yes. Well, okay. So you asked us why we're here. Yes. What are you doing here? How long have you been in there? Weeks. Weeks. Weeks. Okay. Yeah. So Pichyevils, a lot of stuff's been happening. There's, I mean, I don't mean to throw your husband in the bus. Hey, it's my good friend Tony Collette with you. Oh, no.

Well, he's not with us. I mean, we lost track of him. He's really fine. I haven't seen him in a while either. He is owes me money. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. See the registration fee for the guttural screams bowling league. Eddie kicked my dog.

I don't know how to describe it. Long story short, there's some sort of cult, and this whole town is now in trouble, and we find three keys. One of which is down here. The town is in trouble, how? Well, there's like big monsters. Like, ancient gods and stuff like that. And my husband, well, he's running it all, it seems. Yeah. And frankly, it's good to know that I wasn't the only one whose feelings he hurt. Yeah. Husband. What is your husband? My husband is Tucker Trout.

Oh, Trout family. I've never seen your tour. We're looking for a green key. Was there a green key in there? Green key. Green key. And my dialogue, my dialogue, the green key is like red. It's like highlighted. It's like highlighted in the JRPG dialogue.

Ah, green key. Well, I saw one of them, I think. I suppose it depends. I suppose it depends on the... I guess that was green. It was more of an aquamarine blue, but I didn't say it. Well, what did you see?

Well, I saw Tucker. Well, I know who Tucker is. Hey, yeah, that's right. I know him around town. I feel like seeing her refresh your memory. Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh. What a twist. What a twist that you look like. Oh my gosh. No, that's not. That's not what's happening.

Okay. Okay. So when you were saying you saw Tucker? Ah, yes, Tucker. In the dinosaur area. He had motorcycle and he brought it into the Jurassic world. And then...

He had this green key. Come down, Kelsey, come down. You're probably at the mouse. We need three keys to save. I know, I know, I know, but just come down. He married it in the Jurassic World. So we have to go back in there. Oh, yes. What the fuck? Wait, do you know where it is? I know exactly where it is because I've marked the clearing with a death trap.

Oh, okay. Can we get in without sending off the death drop? As long as you are not riding a motorcycle or very fast bicycle, a death trap, no problem. Okay. I have a question. Yeah, yes. Well, if I'm, you know, like a kind of cyber kinetic kind of robotic kind of not all real, but some real person. Hey, what the fuck are you talking about? She's a robot, but she's real. What the fuck? Why don't you just saw T-Rex calm down? Yeah, well, I was wondering,

If that world that Blake was in is not all real either, and maybe we can see it on the computer like how it lights up the doors, maybe it's like an image that's been implanted in our minds or something. I know I sound so silly now, but I'm wondering if it's not actually what we're seeing. No, you're onto something. It could also be a robot T-Rex, which actually scares me a little bit more than I think about it, but we should maybe explore the other hallways and see if we can find a terminal. You guys are pretty far out, man.

Everybody give me a spot hidden role. Here we go. Fuck yeah, dude. 27, 21, I failed. I succeed barely. I got a 54 and I have 60. I got a 13. Wow. So I got super success. Super success. Super duper, unfortunately. That's an 11. I got super success. Kelsey and Trudy, you both notice that the elevator is moving.

Oh! Oh! It's going back up right now, almost as if someone has called it up there. Oh, no. I want to pry open the elevator door. Okay. What's going on? What's going on? There's a way we can stop it from coming down. I can use my bone spear. Oh, yeah. We can also open up the door with the T-Rex to let the T-Rex loose on whoever comes in.

Oh. Francis. What? They're not going to be a good guy. No, no, no. Good. That's that's a plus. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yes. Okay. Yeah. So good idea. Let's get the door unlocked and then we'll wait for the elevator door to open and we'll open the door with the T-Rex. Yeah. Why don't you guys get further down? I'm really good at sneaking so I can do it and hide from the T-Rex so it doesn't see me and goes after the other guys. Okay. Yeah. The feeling that T-Rex vision is based on movement.

Really? So the plan is I'm going to go to the door of the vault. The other is going to go out of sight of the elevator. Okay. And of that room. Once I hear the ding before they even open, I'm going to pull open the door and then run and hide in the same hallway that the others are. How much time do we have? The elevator goes down. Oh, we don't know.

Okay. I mean, do you know how much time it took like, you know, maybe 30 seconds for it to go down? Yeah, it's time for you guys to get out of the way. Yeah. Well, okay. So for 30 seconds, I want anything that is around this hallway, like if there's a little jail, I just want to make a much of a little corridor from the door, from the door to the elevator. Like the T-Rex is like really focused, like, yeah, essentially like making like, you know, like those horse blinders, like with a door open.

The only thing that's kind of sourcing is the elevator doors to the left and right is like some cabinets and stuff like, well, it doesn't want to climb over that. This is really more of an entryway, but we'll say there's a trash can and two plastic plants and an American flap. Great. I put those four things in a little like on either side. You had to make like a little corridor.

Perfect, Elsie. Okay, now. Thanks, Francis. There are two hallways shooting off of this corridor. There's the door, and then there's two hallways. Over one corridor, it says two laboratories. Two hallways and two laboratories? No. What's our bully, is this? Two hallways and two laboratories?

I'm just messing with you well. Well, they're so one door says this way to laboratories. The other says this way to main control room. That's what the. Sounds pretty good. I guess it was. There's laboratories. Always the other one laboratories is one way master control room is the. Master control room. Make sure you drape the flag across that way to cover our retreat. Are you in with us Blake?

Yes, if you say the town is in danger, well, I love the town. Just I've always known you ever since I taught you in Thurgate, you've been a selfish kid I've ever done. What the fuck is this coming from? What the fuck is this coming from? It's about time you helped the town that you grew up in. What the fuck is this coming from? Are you sure you're not confusing it with a different leg?

It could be. I have taught a lot of kids over the years. Oh, Sheldon, remember you, piece of shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, but don't say that because he got in that car accident. Oh, he did. Yeah. He's the only one that survived his whole family. Yeah, he's an orphan. Yeah. I'm just saying, Blake, that we're not only friends. We're a bowling team. Yeah. And you're not part of it because...

Because that's Tony, right? Is that what you're going to say? I was just going to say that whether we roll a gutter ball or a strike, you're with us. And that's the agreement. That's the vow we make when we join the guttural screams. I like that. We do need a fourth player. I'm not really that soft on you yet. I think I don't trust you. You could be anything, but I'll keep an eye on you. I fix your toilet. No, you shattered my toilet. And you kicked this dog. And you kicked my dog. How is toilet working now, though?

Well, fine. Now that we call it a different plumber, what the fuck is this character or assassination? You've done it yourself. You've done it yourself. You've done it yourself. You've done it yourself. You've done it in the back. You've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I've done it in the back. I

Blake Lively fixing the toilet. How about he gets a roll? You get a roll. You are at the Farnsworth house. Again. And you are fixing the upstairs toilet. Yeah. Give me a roll on your plumbing skill. Well, I'm skilled tradesperson, is my thing. Oh, sure. Give me your roll. So I feel like- What's your skill? I'm curious. What did you put in plumbing? Look, I'm just taking a freight put down. Every glimpse that we've seen of Freddie, I've not got this as a good plumper. I survived!

You see very uncertain about like you just walking into a drink thing to get a cat. All right. Here's the here's what I'll say. I'll do mechanical repair. Okay, which is a 35 But he's very decks, but he's not very good at 87. All right, so here's what happened

Oh, I had to go. I can't go in sync. I have to go in toilet. Don't worry, child. And I flush the toilet and clogs immediately. Oh, we've got to fix that now. Well, I have two things. This one is for free. The sink is your fault.

The dog comes right to your feet. Yeah. What the fuck is this? Get the thing. It's my dog, little orphan alien. Get the, ah, it's biting me. Get it away. It's not biting you. It's licking you. Ah, it's biting you. It's like kicking. The dog falls down the stairs and snaps its neck. No. Do you have second toilet downstairs that needs fixing? No. Leave. Okay. Well, I need to get my half up front. Hey. Oh my God.

All right, we shot out of our flashback. Maybe we'll treat ourselves to one of those for episode for how he knows the other two of you.

So you've decided. All right. So you guys are hiding in the corridor behind the American flag in the two pot of plants. Yes. Francis is at the door. Yes. As the elevator is coming down, you hear the familiar voice of a little young girl saying,

Mommy? Mommy, are you down here? I'm scared. I'm lost. Is the voice of Tiffany, your daughter? Unleash. No, don't listen. Tiffany's not real. Mommy, where are you? It's dark. It's dark. I don't know where I am. I'm going down somewhere. I'm scared. I miss you. Sounds like a trick. Don't listen.

So the elevator comes up to Francis. Go Francis nods. The elevator comes to a halt and dings. Okay. Two things happen. One, Francis opens the door and to be clear, I open the door in the following way.

Anthony is still down. He's now walking over to the door. Yeah. All right. I'm going to take a picture for our Patreon of Anthony opening the door. All right. I'm doing a little video. We're rolling. This is how Anthony is. Give me a demonstration. Take it back. Roll back. Beautiful. Okay. Yeah. And then they're imagine there's a T-Rex right there. Yeah. Um, as Francis does that, a T-Rex head instantly juts through this massive door and roars and starts snapping its teeth. That is fascinating.

I'm hiding now. The elevator door opens and emerging from the shadows you hear the clickety clack of mechanical feet and from the shadows emerges a massive spider-like robot with like no legs.

It has almost like a like a probiscus kind of poking out of it. You see the face of your daughter Tiffany and she's looking out in her eyes are glowing red and she's still saying mommy mommy I'm scared I can't find you mommy where are you?

Two of her, like, spider feet are little kid hands, like she's split apart, and then like two of it are like her legs, but they've still got like her little buckle shoes on them and her little white socks. And then there's just a shredded dress grinding up in the gears of this horrible, many-legged, arachnid-like robot as it comes out.

and it locks eyes with the T-Rex and it says threat detected, engage, and then it just launches at it and starts slashing at the T-Rex's eyes and their wards and thrashes around and now there's this brutal melee going on between this T-Rex and there's a robot spider girl and as that's going on,

Francis, you now have a T-Rex spider battle to dodge your way out of, and you also have to hop over a potted plant in American flag if you want to get to your friends. Okay. What do you want me to roll? Well, doing two rolls. First, you got to clear the T-Rex and that's dexterity.

All right. I rolled an 11, which is a super duper success. Okay. You need a super success for this one. So it's good. You got a super duper success. So as the two kaiju are fighting, I wait for a break in the action specifically as the T Rex, it like roars back with like one of its fists. Like it's going to punch it, even though he's got those little stubby arms and his tail goes up like it's a rope with dope. He's going to like fake with a punch on the tin with his tail. And as his tail goes up, I run underneath the tail towards the corridor that leads to the control room.

Give me one more dexterity to get over the spotted plant.

Uh, that is a 30. That is a normal success. Okay. You, that would have just, it would have been funny. If I tripped them, they saw me. But now a team, team question out character. Do we want to go master controller? Don't we know the key is in this place? Do we want to go back with a T Rex? Yeah, but like you want to fight. They're in front of the door. They're occupying the room. You have to roll hard checks to get past them. Kelsey, you do remember that little light up thing that you saw. There's other. There are three other air locks somewhere in this facility. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Francis wrong. I am run faster faster faster faster. It's so funny. He says the same thing in Independence Day. Yep. All right. It's like how Tim Allen goes in the Santa Claus. Sorry. What? He does his Tim the toolman Taylor grunt noise in the Santa Claus, even though it doesn't make any sense of that character.

So we run through the master control room. You hear grinding gears and laser blasts and teeth gnashing. You're heading down this dark, again, sort of like government corridor, lack of a better term. And as you run, you see sort of side doors leading to different sort of departments as you head down this hallway towards the control room. And so you see a door marked power. You see one marked sanitation. Oh, I like

this one. You see a room called weather control. You see a door that says motor pool slash chamber access. And as you're running past all of these, give me another spot.

I failed. Oh, don't worry. Don't worry. Kelsey's here. I got a five. Nice. My spine is 60. Nothing escapes the wily eye of pretty trout. Yeah. Thirteen. Sick. So this is normal super. Normal sex. Normal success. Normal sex. Normal sex. Normal P&E. That's not, I don't want to say that that's normal. That's just, that's a little hetero. There's nothing normal about it. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. You're saying that thing. Weird. Here's all I'm saying.

The putting the line in the start. You came in that thing. Putting it the putting the thing in the thing. I get it. Nature. It's the like not enough. You got to wiggle around. You got to wiggle around for a bit. That's the weird part. Are you wiggling?

You know, there's just like there's a lot of manner of gyration There's plenty of stuff where it's like you see the hummingbird the thing comes on they get the nectar They don't put the thing out another one They're moving so fast you actually can't tell that it's pumping that fucking statement dude

It's wrapping its probiscus around that statement and pumping it dry. Pumping it like those oil derricks on La Siennaia. Oh, no. It's a roughing up and down sucking it dry out of the air. What a shame. The animal kingdom is kinky, dude. OK.

You did well too. So Matt, Kelsey and Trudy noticed, then I'll say the thing that Trudy noticed. Kelsey and Trudy noticed muddy footprints coming out of the door for motorpool slash chamber access and heading towards the climate control center. So even though I didn't see the hidden stuff, I see chamber access and I'm like, oh, we have to close the other doors and maybe we can do it from chamber access.

Uh, Trudy with her super duper, duper, duper success, uh, notices two things. And then she notices that the chamber door appears to be unlocked unlike the other doors or the door to motor pool chamber access. And she also notices based on the tread size and the amount of time she's had to fucking clean up after Tucker's muddy footprints after he's come in from a fucking the basement, the basement or a fishing trip or whatever. Like these are Tucker tracks.

Oh my gosh. And they're headed straight for the control center. Their control center is different from chamber access. There's this control center is different from chamber access. How stupid it be. Yeah, it's good at control center. But chamber access is the only one that's open. Is the control room open?

So you- Chamber access is kind of redundant, right? If you go into a room that is the chamber- Yeah, you access the chamber. That's what the door is. It's like a room called like room and door. It's just the door. Hey, look at this. I opened the door. It's just the door. We heard. It's just an example of how to get into chambers. That's helpful, I guess. Ah, it's a good illustration. Ah, look. The same door across all of these doors. Oh. Well, now I know how to use that. That's great. I want to die.

The control center. Let's call it master control master control the master control room. Let's say the master control room. You have yet to see a door for it. You're essentially like running in this this wide curving hallway and it's still around the corner. So let's keep running. Do you want to follow the boots? Do you want to say that they're tucker boots? Are you keeping that to yourself?

I will say, yes, these are Tucker boots, so be careful. Oh, that makes sense because I think I saw him earlier. Oh shit, well, let's go kill him. Let's go into the fucking mode of blue chamber access. I want to see that door too.

They sell doors here. There's so many fucking doors. The muddy footprints are leading away from the motor pool to master control. That makes sense. We have not altered our plans whatsoever. This is podcasting. I would like to open the chamber access to get into the master control room.

I'm sorry, I did a bad job naming the rooms, okay? I had to come up with like seven rooms and two of them have names that sound simple. You don't know how to open that door, you've never been to J.M. Run. Because the practice on this other door. Shut up, shut up. I'm a GM, shut up. It's my show, respect me. Well, but I would like to say that, you know, as we're running them, it's like, ah, makes sense. He was riding motorcycle. I think this is Tucker.

Tucker Footprick. Wait, that doesn't make sense. Why is that Footprick so he's wearing motorcycle? Yeah, what the fuck? Where'd the motorcycle go? Well, because it's probably in the motor pool. Oh, like he parked it there. You know what? Oh, yeah, you know what? Yeah, he parked it under water in the motor pool. We were giving Blake Lively a hard time, but with some weird little thinking like that, I think he's going to find a good spot at this group. He's going to feel a much-needed niche.

Do I go to the table? Do I go to the master control? You round the corner. You see a doorway marked master control. It's wide open as you run towards the door. It slams dramatically in your face. Shasham. In scripted event. And then on the other side of the door, you see Tucker Trout.

How do we see through the door? We should have got a chamber access! I told you! We know how to get out of these doors! The door has like a thick plastic, it's got like one of those like fucking, you know, like a little board on it. We gotta say, you don't have to fucking tell Freddy how he can see through, he has a window or something.

Yeah, I want to paint the picture. Tucker tries looking at it. So you see Tucker trout on the other side. Oh, start blasting with that door. Certainly bulletproof. Only one way to find out. Yeah, you know, fair enough. Bam. There's bulletproof. How many bullets do you have left? You never made me count. So I'm saying infinite. No, I feel like you would have bought like how many bullets are in a case of ammo and literally no point did you request that I tracked? Well, now we're doing.

box of ammo with bump stock. That's a thing, right? Nobody can have a little box of bullets with them. Okay, it takes 15 rounds. I feel like your parents got you a box of ammunition. Yeah, I feel like that. Yeah. How much is in a box of ammo? 15. No, no, no, that's a clip. That's a clip.

No, no, no, there's five in the clip. Oh, so the box only has 15 bullets. Yeah, it's not that many. Okay, damn. All right. This is the size of the box. Wow. So we'll see you got, uh, we'll be nice to see you got 10 bullets left. Great. Okay. Tucker waves at you. Hi, honey. Why don't you open the door? I just want to talk. No, I hope after all. I don't think I will. I think, uh, Trudy, I feel like I want to say this to one of you at least. So let me say it to you. Of course, honey. I want a divorce.

Oh, I think this is over. I've tried and I've tried and I've tried. When we met, we had this spark and I saw you both as the woman you are, but just the woman you could be. And I guess in the bathroom, I'll never forget it.

This is very, you can't fire me, I quit energy. And I just want one of you, at least, to know that I'm moving on. I'm not going to be making any more trudies. You're the last trudie or whatever. I'm moving on and I just want you to know that because I've learned a lot and I just think there's some part of you that is just never going to be good enough.

It always turns into this with us. It always turns into some absurd spectacle where you make a big scene and then I get embarrassed and I have to fix everything and I'm tired of it, but I'm going to take what I've learned and I'm going to use it to help our son.

of course, honey. And I was wondering if you think that you will be able to find love again. You know, seeing as you haven't found it the first time, seeing as you tried to assemble somebody that could love you by taking who I was and tearing her into pieces. And then I never loved you. And I wonder what that must have felt like to be trapped.

But then I realized I was the one who was trapped, wasn't I? And I'm just wondering if you will find anybody to love that damp, puffy, virgin face of yours because I don't think anybody ever will. And you are not getting our son. I'm going to make something right.

Well, we'll see about that. You know, it's always like this. You always- No. You always- He's distracting us. He's wasting your time. He's distracting us. You're always acting like, well, I don't want to say the word. I'm a gentleman, so I'm not going to say it, but I think we know what it means, and I think we know what it is. I can open the door. I'm not going to open the door, but I just want to do now. Let's go back to the room.

I failed you. I failed you. I failed you, Trudy. Yeah, we're leaving now. I'm not going to fail when I fix Timmy, and I fixed the weakness that you brought into him. Trudy, don't listen to him. What are you going to do? What are you talking with you? No, he's not. He's talking about Timmy. You were version one, and once you're in the scrap heap,

I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to find our son and he's going to be version two. And, you know, I just think maybe he's got more potential. He's got more of me in him. He's got this soft side. He's got this weakness that I think he got from you. But I've gotten so close with you with him. I think I can really take it all the way. I think that he's going to be perfect. And I think once I. Tucker, please, please what?

Please, not Timmy. Please, you don't even have to take him to somewhere else where he will just have a family and a whole... Timmy is my family. You asked me if I have love. I love him. I loved you, Trudy. I don't think you know what that means. I do. I loved you. I wanted to have the perfect family and you kept fucking it up. We tried and I tried again and again and again and again and it just didn't work. It just wasn't good enough.

Maybe you're the one who's crazy. Well, I'm the genius who's sitting here in the most incredible environment ever built. This is all thanks to me. I'm the smart one. You're just who you are. And I thought I could help you. I thought I could fix it, but I can't. But I love our son just as much as I loved you.

No, you never, you clearly never loved me, not the real me. And now I have other people for that. You're not getting to me. And I think you're distracting us. So I'm going to walk away. Let's go, Trudy. Yeah, bitch. We're going to go save Timmy. Come on. As we're walking away. Oh, wow. You guys have some heavy shit going on now. No, you were. It is. It's a whole thing. Sometimes it just feels like it just consumes me.

You were right about one thing, honey. As he says that, rounding the corner, you see your daughter, she's covered in T-Rex gore and viscera, looking a little worse for war. I didn't think that the spider robot would win against a T-Rex. It's shot is broken and it's still trying to say.

And then it starts charging it. You want to shoot this? Yeah, guys, it might as well. Francis, take aim. Yes, I will. Are there doors to left or right? Like are there the chamber access? Are we right next to you, Max? Yes, it's right, but Twix, the two of you. You hip to the fact that Tucker was distracting you. So I will say that you have not gotten fully ambushed. This thing is still down the hallway. Great.

Then yes, I, while Francis takes aim, I run to the closest door, which is the chamber access. Okay. So I got a 44 and my firearms is 38. So I'm going to spend six luck. Okay. 2d6 plus four. That's 13 damage. Tiffany takes this bullet straight to like her carapace and you see the bullet manages to find a weak point in her armor and it slides straight in. You hear this sparking noise and she groans in agony. She's just kind of like.

Wow, good shot, kid. Thanks. It's from my mental issues. Okay. You hip to the fact that you were being distracted. You have a surprise around on this thing. So why don't you all make a move? What are you guys trying to do? You can get to the door. The chamber access will maintenance door or whatever. Kill me. You can try to fight this thing if you want to hold it off. I want to run into the door. I want to try to open the door until I'm ready to run in. Yeah, I want to run towards the door.

You guys all make it to the door. Francis, you are behind because you used your turn to take a shot at this thing. Okay. And it is going to take its turn and it is going to take a shot at Francis. With what? It's web shooters.

Are they organic or are they a machine though? They better be organic. The bottom part of her jaw extends them because it's kind of busted, just kind of falls off. Then almost like a megaphone looking apparatus kind of just folks out of her skull and aims right at you, Francis. A blunderbuss. It just kind of like rears back and unleashes this ear splitting sonic scream straight at you. Like a little kid just stepped on a Lego times 10,000. Francis, what's your constitution? My constitution is 25.

How this spell works is that you burn a magic point. It's a spell, but it's, you know, it's a high tech thing for this. Uh, so we'll call it like it's a power point, like it's coming from her lithium power points. Power point. I'm showing these slides. Look at these transitions. She uses a five power points between six slides. She dissolved transitions between six slides. Each one of those does two D 10 strength worth of force. So I'm going to go ahead and roll for her. So she got a 53. Give me a constitution roll.

Ooh! My constitution is at 25 and I rolled at 23. Ooh! I'm gonna roll against that 53 I got for the spell strength. Okay, so I rolled a 23 out of 53. Her super success beats your regular success and you get knocked the fuck out. Oh no! Not only that, the sonic blast knocks you clean off your feet. You go sliding down the hallway and your unconscious body slides up to that door of the central control room.

That was its turn. It is all of your turn again. You're all at the door. OK, but he's got hit back. Your poor baby boys back down at the end of the hallway. And Tiffany has not moved yet. She had to rear herself up to fire that blast. Tiffany's like really focused on Trudy, right? Presumably one would assume she just kind of took out the main threat. So yes, that's the next thing you see is you see her eyes fall onto you, Trudy. It's a little flattering to be the main threat.

Blake, you're up first. You have 75. Oh, hey, is this kid friend of ours? Yes. Yes. He's friend of us. Well, he was just his dog did not like me and his toilet did not agree with me. I don't judge people by whether or not their dogs like me or not. He's a kid. You know, you know, the need be a friend. You're a grown man. Take care of the kid.

He's our friend. He's a good person. He's a good person. So we have to take care of him. Okay, then give me covering fire. This is just like none of us have guns. But sure. You see the gun is lying on the ground where France has got knocked out. I will give you covering fire. This is just like when I fought in World War II. Yeah.

All right. Blake is going to run to like slide to pick up the gun and return fire with it. No, Kelsey is impressed. She's like fine. He was going to do something. Is it even if he had to get a qualified first? Yeah. He's free action to run over there and pick up the gun. What's your firearm skill? Twenty five.

Scary, give me a roll. Let's see if you hit 11. Oh, wow. Super success. Special boy. Super success. Super success. And I will say, because Blake Lyley did fight in World War II, he knows perfectly the operation of a car 98. Well, okay, sure.

Was he fighting for the other side? No, no, no, no. He picked up one. He picked up one on the dead corpse of a Nazi. He knows, for example, it's a bolt-action rifle, and it sounded like the American one that went ping when it was done. Yeah, that's such a satisfying noise, though. 2d6 plus 4. That would be 12 damage.

Okay. Describe to me where you shoot it. I think I'm going for center of mass. I got lucky with it. Yeah. Your eyes sort of drawn to where she's already sparking. Yeah. And you managed to blast another shot straight through like a little tatter of the little Sunday dress she was wearing back when she was like a six year old girl. And it

hears his through six year old robot six year old robot like another big chunk comes out of this thing she's sputtering and writhing like there's oil leaking out of her chassis right now and she's like kind of like staggering on her legs quick grab the kid Kelsey it's your turn yeah I'll go grab Francis we make a great team Kelsey yeah you're better at shooting six year old girls you are fixing my toilet

Everyone is holding, like, how bad was this toilet scenario? Like, how bad was it? If Francis was awake, you'd be like, why did you think, do you imagine that thing was my dog? Can we flashback to the Kelsey toilet scenario? Sure. All right. Ding dong. Hello. Hi, okay, you just right there in the back. Oh, wait, where? We're working on my encyclopedia. Oh, very cool. And I'm plagiarizing at this time.

Uh, which, uh, which way? Oh, in the back. What toilet, what do I mean? Just go in the back of the house. Lady, you're very confrontational. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. My previous job, I got clogged up and I had to kick a dog. I'm going to watch you do the job after you just said that. Okay. Yeah. Look at the toilet and I flush it. Yeah, it doesn't work. That's why I called you. I know, but what's happening? Oh, it starts backing up more. It's like, oh,

Just look, you're gonna get water all over my bathroom. Do you have a plunger? I have one. This is fucking riveting. Hey, here's what happens. Why are you just trying to roll it down? All right, so I want to plunge it. 16 mechanical roll. That's a super success on my mechanical repair. OK, you effortlessly unclog it. You unclog it. Oh, and you know what it is? I unclog it. It's papers. It's papers. You tried to flush down the toilet.

Apples. Um, okay. Well, you had a great job here. Here's your buddy. Um, yep, that's just my toilet paper. It's a theme toilet paper. Don't tell me where we were talking by. Okay. And as I turn around, like the wrench, Apple, like A for apples. Yeah, like it's like a piece of art. Oh, it's a coffee. I was going to talk to people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then as I turn around with the big heavy wrench on my belt, it just spins around and explodes your toilet. Oh, shit. Didn't break it. Yeah. Oh, okay. But I did fix it.

Yeah. Hey, lady, you still owe me. I fixed your toilet. But then you broke it. I was going to remember you were good at your job. That was going to be like a way we could bond. But no, suddenly the T-Rex still alive, but badly made starts stumbling down the hallway. What would you like to do? Well, I'm going to, I'm the flashback. Hey, hey, the flashback did not interrupt my action. I was running towards Francis. I didn't stop mid running towards Francis to remember this moment. I am going to drag Francis by the feet and run back to the door. All right. You're back to the door. Trudy, what are you doing?

I am going to take a look at Tiffany and see if there are any like weaknesses other than the damage that has already been done. Like if there's like a kill switch on her or something. Okay, that's sick. You don't need to roll for that. You see it can only be the mechanical version of her heart. Her sort of chassis has been blown away and exposed enough that she's got this like pumping mechanism that seems to be pushing oil and like it's a sort of a power generator and it's wide open.

Are there like wires, right? Yeah, it's hooked up to wires. It's like the central thing that seems to be keeping her alive. I am going to pick up marbles and walk towards Tiffany. Oh, hey. Marbles does claw deep into your hand. That's fine. OK.

She's a robot. I'm going to roll charm. Okay. I'm going to say to Tiffany, dearest daughter, I got you something that you would just love. That's okay. The sweetest thing to hold and cuddle and he'll be yours. All yours. You should hold the cat like in Jurassic Park when he's got a flower. And he's throwing as you run. You see her eyes soften as she looks at this cat. All right.

you

throw the cat at the t-rex start the fight again. Okay. I succeeded. My charm is 55 and I got a 27. Great. I am going to thrust marbles towards that hole in her where the wires are and see if he bites down on the wires. Yeah. Goose the cat a little bit. Yeah. I pull a piece of fur out of his tail and absolutely. Yeah. The cat hisses and just starts scratching and biting at the inside of this thing.

I'm gonna use the, they don't have a cap, but they do have a rat, which for a kitten seems like the closest size. Big rat. Just multiply everything by 1.25. Okay. Oh, fuck yeah. Marbles got a super success on his attack. So he's gonna go ahead and roll some damage. It's 1d3. He got a 3, thank God. Minus 2, which is exactly how much health this thing had left. Hell yeah. So with a little kitten claw, Marbles the cat slashes.

at the beating heart of your erstwhile robot daughter. It just knocks like a screw loose, like the sort of pumping mechanism splashes open, and it's just spraying fluid everywhere. Marbles gets some oil on his face like that. Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I don't know what you're talking about. I think marbles will forgive me. So marbles is hissing and scratching and clawing at you. Marbles is actually going to get another attack on Trudy. Marbles got a 19. So another success. Marbles is going to hate you for another three. So yeah, you take one damage from marbles.

All right. Hey, lady, give me my cat back. I'm so sorry. I just needed to defeat my daughter, my robot daughter. And I'm so sorry, marbles. I just, I can't tell you enough. I, how sorry I am. As you were apologizing to the cat, Tiffany crumples over. The light goes out from her eyes as this hideous robo body just collapses onto it.

floor. You see the T-Rex roaring in rage behind it as it thunders off, piss that his quarry has been killed and sort of stomps off back down the hallways of this facility, I guess. As the light leaves Tiffany's eyes, Trudy prepares herself to feel like grief and for like an immense like loss, but it doesn't come quite yet. And she's shocked because she doesn't feel really anything.

You guys are going into, finally, the chamber access. You make your way down, basically a little short fight of stairs. Sure enough, there's the motor pool here. I'm fine. I'm worried about Francis and I'm worried about marbles as well to be quite honest. I think this is okay. Can't skip by. Are you worried about marbles? Are you worried that marbles doesn't like you?

You would just be kind of unacceptable to me if marbles didn't like me. I'm sure marbles likes you. You see, give me a spot hidden role only to me.

23, and that's a success. You see marbles as two glowing eyes glowing back at you behind the fucking paradoxical and this cat does not like you. Oh no. Okay. And then you see a week. Can I smack Francis a week? Sure. Okay. I think he just got knocked out and do any damage to it. I can roll first aid on him. Yeah. We all roll first aid. Give me a first aid roll.

Oh fuck, I failed by two! Maybe I'll- You're hurting him, you're hurting him, Trudy! I'm gonna push- I'm gonna push my roll. You're gonna push? If you mess up, you can just spin two luck! Oh, well, let me see- No, no, it's been like on princess. Let me see what you're like, I'm up. Push it. Or just let- Or I'll try. Alright, I'm gonna roll one more time. I'm gonna push my roll.

Okay, so you try to get Francis CPR to crack one of his ribs, so we'll write down that Francis has a cracked rib. But that wakes him up, right? Does it wake? Yeah, yes, it wakes him up.

The sheer excruciating pain of his cracked rib wakes him up. Francis, you wake up from a dream. They say that happens when you do CPR correctly. That is true. It can also happen when you do it wrong. Truthy, truthy, truthy. He sustained these injuries from the blast. Oh, yes. The blast. So the blast. Another blast. I'm just trying to help you guys out, Jesus. Team cohesion. Francis has a cracked rib. Go ahead and lie to Francis, and we'll see if you succeed in lying to him.

Francis, you got your crack rib. Try not to laugh, because you got your crack rib having a blast. Give me. Yeah, let's do persuade. I can roll against with psychology. Yes, you roll against it with your psychology. Oh, I rolled very badly. I'm 95 out of 80. Well, I rolled very badly. So I didn't succeed at all. So you failed, but Trudy also failed.

I failed. My persuade is 30 and I got an 82. Okay, so you failed more than he failed. So he knows that you're flying when you see this. He doesn't know what happened. I will say it's because you don't know what happened, but you know, Trudy is not telling you the Trudy. Why are you lying to me?

I thought you were the only adult I could trust, because you're a robot and you can't lie. Because I broke your rib. I was trying to help you. I know. I'm so sorry. All you had to do was tell me that. I appreciate you were trying to help me. Well, I didn't want you to be mad at me. I wouldn't have been mad. It wasn't an accident. No, I'm mad because you're another adult. I don't want you to be mad at me. But sometimes we just lie because we're scared too, even though we're adults. You're adults, you should be better than that. I know.

Here's your gun back, kid. I took a shot and landed it. Oh, and that's the truth. He's telling the truth. Cool. That's what the real adult looks like. Thank you. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to look after this guy now. It's just my new role model. He kicked your dog. He killed the truth. Francis, son, take it slow. You don't remember everything yet.

All right. You see all these jeeps. You see a door of this, like a much bigger version of this vault door. It says welcome to Jurassic Park. It says welcome to Stasis Chamber on it. You see that the other lights are closed. Stasis Chamber. You mentioned that earlier on the thing. So this is the thing that opens when we close all the other doors. You see three lights for all three of the big, faulty doors that open the chambers. They're all closed now.

No, they are. Yes. Somebody else did it. One would presume this flapping T-Rex tail slammed the door shut. I'm like, yes. The door's closed. It could be Tucker, but I'm betting the T-Rex's tail. It was waggling quite a bit. It probably hit the door. It probably used its tail to cook. You realize I'm plausible that is? You're writing an encyclopedia lady.

Let's go inside this chamber with a Jeep. Let's get this butter. Let's load up under this Jeep and get in there. I'll show you where the clearing was, where the key. Okay. Yeah. Let's go over the Jeep. Who's driving? Let's call. Oh, what, Trudy, you want to drive? I just think that I could. Oh, wait.

The way you said that sounds like shoes. Have you never driven before? What? Oh my gosh. Now's the time. You're driving this. Okay. Yes. And yes, you're good. You can do anything you put your mind to. Let's do it. What's your former race car driver? Yes. Oh, no, but as you sit down in the front seat, a sensation comes back to you and it's the love of the rumble of an engine and the acceleration of a car.

And somehow you're even though you don't remember driving, your body seems to know how to turn on the engine, start to clutch and get this baby in gear. And you roll forward. And I assume one of you opens the door to let the Jeep in. Oh, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop. We got over the door for us. I'll get out and open the door and get back in the Jeep. Okay. As you open the door, this tableau once again slides in front of you, but instead of seeing

a lush tropical canopy and instead of seeing this dense wild jungle that you saw before, you see traces of civilization. You see the jungle has been hacked back. You see roads. You see huts in the distance and the rise of smoke in the air. Oh my god, it's a fast time room.

And then as you were. So when we're in the fast one. Oh, God, don't make me think that as you roll the Jeep in. We look around. We look around like, you know, people with weapons. You don't see anybody yet. Lady, do you see anything hidden? Nope. Nope. I think we're good. Drive slowly and I'll walk in front of the Jeep. Why? Okay. I'll get in the Jeep. Okay. She does have the demon insider. What? No. No. Oh, yeah. That's probably something you should know, dog kicker.

What's that? This one has a demon inside of her. So if she goes in with me, she goes wobbly, you know. And then Francis puts a finger gun to his head. He's worried about that. As you go in, yeah, you see, like, this seems to be the same environment, but it looks completely different. This is crazy. I spent three weeks in here. You did this in three weeks? No. Your poem. I did none of this. Wait, wait. I was building a monument for pooping.

I had a pond you see monument. Yes. Poor pooping. Big, big toilet. Do you mean a monument to pooping or do you mean a monument that you are going to poop? Both. Well, let's see it. Let's see it. Yes, I'd like to try. I'd like to try it. I'd like to try it. Wait, wait, wait. Really quick. This is not Zuzo speaking. This is Kelsey. That sounds really funny, but I don't think they would.

You say you do with green key. It's very convenient. It's right next to my book. Well, there we go. We're all happy on this road trip. That's great. Okay. As you drive through this strange countryside, you crest this hill and you see two things. One, you see that your poop pond has just like blossomed into like a rancid, horrible

It's just, and you know, just from the stench that like this could only be what has grown out of this poop on a dense lush, just like it's the one still untamed dark part of this world that hasn't been, you know, broken by civilization yet. And then you see where you saw originally this capsule being buried. You see a temple.

and you see priests in robes and you see a crowd of people watching as a high priest ascends a set of stairs and at the top of the steps there's a massive sculpture of this huge green key and he lights

a torch and lights up big bonfire beneath it. This is some sort of ceremony honoring this key, this strange artifact. And as he lights up the key, he's a higher up now and as I can kind of catch your sight line at the top of the hill and he looks horror struck at you. And then he calls out to the crowd below and he says, Outlanders!

Broken sky all I ever wanted was to feel so ordinary In a world that lies twisted in my mind and now I'm gone All that I can see is a hole in the stars

Swallow in my dreams and making them scars Too far too far away But I stay today

Thanks so much for listening. We've tabulated the votes and after 5,960 responses with 54.5% of the votes. The winner is Walter and the dads. Yeah, speaking of dads and by dads, I mean, ads. If you're tired of listening to ads, then try the new hot thing.

Supporting independent artists directly starting at just five bucks a month You get no more ads way more stuff to listen to in a whole bunch of other patreon specific perks like access to our discord our entire backlog of bonus one shots behind the scenes videos and miniseries as well as patreon exclusive merch That's at patreon.com slash dungeons and dads dungeons and days is mad Arnold is Kelsey grammar

Anthony Burch, as Francis Farnsworth, Will Campos, as R.D.M. Beth May, as truly trapped in myself, Freddie Wong is Blake Lively. Our theme song is A Hole in the Stars by Max and Waller Brian Fernandez, as our content producer Ash and Nicolette, as our community manager, Courtney Terry, as our community coordinator, Cindy Denton, as our merchandise manager, S.R.L., as our lead editor, and Travis Reeves provides additional editing.

Thanks this week to our Patreon supporters by the names of Samuel Bailey, Noel H, Seth F, Jake G, Jay Collier, Gun Factor, Ashley Burghoff, Rapada, Isaiah Simon, Noel H, Zombie Bro 827, Kyle, Emily Andreessen, Jay King, Christopher Adamack, Jimmy Chungus, Fabio Pellegornelli, Rayana Cond, Gothic Ferry and Dylan Bone,

Support the show and get tons of content starting at $5 a month directly on Patreon, patreon.com slash Dungeons and Dats. You can find our merch and more at DungeonsAndDies.com. That's our website and our next episode is December 3rd. We'll see you then. All that I can see is a hole in the stars. Swirling in my dreams and making them scars. Too far, too far away. The last day.

I skipped firearms. I skipped firearms and never seen them. Never fucking will. Never fucking will.