Combating Loneliness: Loneliness harms our health and society. Building connections fosters support, meaning, and resilience against negative ideologies. Instead of isolation, we need to prioritize community to combat loneliness and strengthen our social ties.
Loneliness is a serious issue affecting everyone today, leading to spiritual, physical, and social problems. Research shows that being lonely can be as harmful to our health as smoking. Communities need to come together to combat this isolation, as knowing others helps prevent harmful beliefs and strengthens our social fabric. Understanding and support among individuals can foster connections that offer meaning and purpose, reducing the appeal of negative ideologies. Encouraging interaction and closeness within communities is crucial, especially in times when many feel disconnected, as it not only uplifts spirits but can also protect society from harmful influences.
Purpose and Belonging: Loneliness often pushes people away from connection, yet finding community can provide much-needed purpose. Ancient rituals show us that honoring pain fosters healing, reminding us that compassion and understanding can create a more just society where everyone belongs.
People often seek connection and purpose, especially after experiencing loneliness, much like the friend’s sister-in-law found belonging in a community of conspiracy believers. In times of struggle, it’s important to remember that vulnerable moments can lead to healing connections. Rituals, like the ancient pilgrimage to Jerusalem that honors one’s pain, show that communities can provide a supportive space for those in distress. By addressing loneliness with compassion and understanding, we can foster a society where everyone belongs, turning pain into connection rather than retreat. We all desire to be seen and heard, and through shared experiences, we can fulfill our deep-seated needs for purpose and belonging, moving towards a more loving and united world.
Human Connection: Reaching out to those who are hurting fosters connection and healing, highlighting the importance of empathy and service in our lives.
When someone is heartbroken, they struggle to engage with the world around them and often feel isolated. Yet, it’s essential for those who are feeling okay to reach out and check in on them. This act of service creates connections and helps heal wounds. By noticing and acknowledging the pain of those walking in the opposite direction, we not only show empathy but also rediscover our own humanity. It highlights that true purpose and fulfillment come from serving one another, especially in moments of vulnerability. Just as recognizing the lonely individuals can lead to healing, it’s a reminder to always be open to sharing in others’ experiences and emotions, turning our collective loneliness into togetherness.
Connecting Through Grief: Acknowledging others' grief helps break isolation and fosters mutual connection, transforming our shared pain into understanding and support in healing.
Grief can be an incredibly isolating experience, especially when others struggle to know how to engage with us during our hardest times. Yet, it is through acknowledging and connecting with each other's pain that we find mutual understanding and purpose. When we take the step to recognize someone else's sorrow, we not only help them but also reveal our own humanity. This connection creates a space where healing can begin, making us feel less alone in our struggles. Sharing our stories in a supportive community fosters empathy and compassion, allowing us to confront our pain collectively. Engaging in this ritual of seeing and being seen transforms the experience of grief from isolation into connection, ultimately highlighting the importance of human relationships in processing our losses and finding strength in shared experiences.
Presence in Grief: Supporting someone in grief means being present, not fixing their pain. Friends should sit in the 'mud' with them, allowing space for mourning together without trying to distract or change their feelings.
When someone we care about is grieving, it's important to understand that we don't need to fix their pain. Instead of trying to make things better or pull them out of their sorrow, we should simply be present with them. Grieving people often want to be supported in their feelings rather than distracted. It’s about sitting in the metaphorical ‘mud’ together, sharing in the pain and letting them know they are not alone. This approach allows both the grieving person and their friends to navigate the depths of sorrow together, creating a space where emotions can be shared freely without the pressure to avoid discomfort. We all have the capacity to support each other during tough times, and true friendship is about having the courage to walk beside someone in their grief, showing love and understanding without the need to fix or solve anything.
Compassionate Presence: Being there for friends means more than fixing their problems; it’s about sharing their pain and simply asking how to best support them during tough times.
Being present for friends in times of pain is essential. When someone is struggling, simply sitting with them can be more comforting than trying to fix their problems. Asking what they need, rather than assuming, fosters connection and understanding. It emphasizes the importance of companionship during dark moments, just as Eve comforted Adam in fear of the unknown. While we may want to solve problems, others often just want our presence. This approach not only respects their feelings but also reminds us that we do not have to face our struggles alone. So, when in doubt, ask them how you can support them – that simple question can make a world of difference. Sharing burdens together creates a safer, more empathetic space where healing can begin. Remember, it's not always about finding solutions; sometimes, it’s simply about sharing the experience of pain together.
Vulnerability and Healing: Choosing vulnerability can lead to healing, as it allows us to connect with others in shared pain, fostering empathy and support. By turning towards each other, we create a community where we can be seen and held with love during difficult times.
In difficult times, we often face a choice between hiding our pain or being vulnerable and seeking support. It's natural to feel scared about sharing our struggles, but by turning towards each other, we can find comfort and healing. When someone dares to share their pain, it can inspire others to do the same. This way, we create a space of empathy and connection, where we can support each other through hard times. Even if we fear rejection or indifference, trusting that we will be met with love is essential. It's important to remember that healing happens when we allow ourselves to be seen and when we also reach out to help others. Though it may feel counterintuitive, vulnerability is powerful and helps us realize that we are not alone in our struggles. Connection and compassion are vital to navigating the darkness of loss and pain.
Shared Grief: True service lies in teaching others to express their pain and seek help, creating a supportive community for those grieving.
Grief is a shared experience, and it’s vital to support one another on this journey. When in deep sorrow, we find solace in community, which helps us stay anchored in life. True service involves not just helping those who are hurting but teaching people to express their pain and ask for support. It’s essential to model this vulnerability, showing that it’s okay to seek help. Rituals can create spaces for openness, where people can acknowledge their heartbreak and be met with compassion. By walking through our struggles together and encouraging others to turn left towards their pain, we foster a culture where expressing grief becomes normalized, where we can all say, 'I see you,' and stand together as a source of strength in moments of despair.
Enduring Support: Support for someone grieving should be ongoing and consistent. Repeated gestures of compassion help build resilience and create a loving space, allowing the person to feel supported through their pain.
Grieving is a long and difficult process, and it's essential for those around the grieving person to show consistent support. Saying 'amen' in prayer multiple times symbolizes a commitment to acknowledging the pain and being present for each other. Instead of just one kind message, true caring involves ongoing check-ins and being there throughout the journey. Building this muscle memory of support helps the grieving person feel loved and not alone. Whether it’s sending a message, making a call, or simply being there, it's about creating a loving space for someone in need. Sharing their pain, much like Eve holding Adam through the night, reflects the importance of connection during hard times. Just like prayers are repeated, so should the gestures of kindness and empathy to help build resilience and hope in the face of grief.
Revisited: We Cannot Heal Alone In The Loneliness Epidemic with Rabbi Sharon Brous
A Bit of Optimism
147 Episodes
Recent Episodes from A Bit of Optimism
Revisited: How To Be A Friend with chef and entrepreneur Christina Tosi
Friends can help us get through life’s toughest moments. But a true friend remembers to smile about the good times.
That’s why I wanted to revisit my conversation with the founder and CEO of Milk Bar, host of Netflix’s Bake Squad, and author of several cookbooks including Dessert Can Save the World, my dear friend Christina Tosi.
Christina is the type of friend I can trust with anything, someone I can cry with. Together we reflect on the art of asking for help and why sometimes all we need from a true friend is 8 minutes of their time.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
For more on Christina and her work, check out:
her cookbook, Dessert Can Save the World
For more on the power of an 8-minute phone call, check out this New York Times article.
***
By the way, I wanted to share Christina's recipe for making an Ice Cream Loaf. It's magic.
You will need:
2 cups (1 pint) of softened ice cream
1 cup of self-rising flour
1 egg
- Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a loaf pan and set aside.
- In a large bowl, mix the melty ice cream, self-rising flour, and egg. Do not overmix.
- Pour the batter into loaf pan.
- Bake for 45 minutes or until toothpick clean.
Enjoy.
Revisited: Molly's Game with Molly Bloom
Some people’s life stories are too crazy not to tell. So today, we’re revisiting one of my favorite episodes, my conversation with Molly Bloom. Her story is so riveting it's no surprise it became a star-studded Hollywood film.
After her Olympic dreams were dashed, Molly wound up running an illegal, high-stakes poker game where hundreds of millions of dollars would change hands in a night.
Molly made a lot of money. Celebrities, mafias, and federal informants soon took an interest in her and her game. Eventually, she lost everything and had no one to blame but herself.
Her story became the Academy Award-nominated movie Molly’s Game, and the lessons she learned from her extraordinary journey have tremendous value for the rest of us.
This is… A Bit of Optimism.
For more on Molly and her work, check out:
Revisited: We Cannot Heal Alone In The Loneliness Epidemic with Rabbi Sharon Brous
Grief can paralyze us. Most of us aren't given a manual about how to comfort someone grieving or how to ask for help with our own pain.
That's why I wanted to revisit one of my favorite conversations, with Rabbi Sharon Brous. I talked with her about being present to someone else's pain and what it means to heal together in the loneliness epidemic.
Considered one of the most influential rabbis in the U.S., she founded her own congregation and has led multiple White House faith events. In her book, The Amen Effect, Sharon explores how grief and heartbreak can be gateways to truly seeing each other.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
For more on Sharon and her work, check out:
her book The Amen Effect
her congregation iKAR
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Confident Ignorance with rapper, novelist, and filmmaker Logic
Vision, not skill, is the heart of creativity. But when a creative vision gets too big for one person, the key is to ask for help.
Logic is a platinum-selling rapper who’s made waves in the hip hop world. After a troubled childhood, he started making music with a positive, introspective message, eventually receiving nominations for two Grammy Awards. But after achieving massive popular success, he decided to branch out into something different. Today, he writes science fiction novels, makes movies, and is the only rapper to also have a New York Times bestseller.
I sat down with Logic, whose real name is Bobby Hall, for a deep dive into bringing creative visions to life — especially when you have no idea what you’re doing.
This…is A Bit of Optimism.
For more on Logic and his work, check out:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wealth Is Togetherness with community organizer Kennedy Odede
The slums of Kenya are a tough place to grow up. Stealing a mango could get you killed.
Kennedy Odede grew up in Kibera, Africa's largest urban slum. A street kid at age 10, he dreamed of factory work for 10 cents a day. But after stealing a mango out of hunger, a stranger's single act of kindness changed the course of his life.
Today, Kennedy is the CEO and founder of Shining Hope for Communities, or SHOFCO. For 20 years, SHOFCO has empowered Kenya's poorest neighborhoods, helping over 4 million people access clean water, education, and Internet. In 2024, TIME Magazine named Kennedy one of the 100 most influential people in the world.
Kennedy shares with me what it takes to see human goodness while surrounded by scarcity and anger, and how poverty taught him that being together is one of the greatest forms of wealth.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
To learn more about Kennedy and his work, check out:
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Landing Moonshots with Google's Innovation Chief Dr. Astro Teller
Before Elon Musk rebranded Twitter, X was already in use — at Google. Google X was Google's secret research lab, where Google's most imaginative ideas came to life.
As CEO and co-founder, Astro Teller's job is to harness X's wildest, most futuristic technology to solve the world's hardest problems. The same "moonshot factory" that created Google Brain and Waymo self-driving cars is also working on carbon capture, laser-beam Internet, delivery drones, and more.
I sat down with Astro to discuss how we build cultures of radical innovation. He shares some useful wisdom about unlearning what we know and why the counterintuitive approach is the key to landing moonshots.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
To learn more about Astro and his work, check out:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Creativity Is Connection with poet IN-Q
Business and poetry usually don't mix. But vulnerability has the power to bring teams together.
Poet IN-Q has found an unlikely audience in business. A slam poetry veteran and accomplished songwriter, companies invite IN-Q to help strengthen their cultures. He works with teams to connect on a deeper level, using poetry to share something human. As he'll tell you, winning over crowds of skeptical businesspeople is an art.
In this conversation, IN-Q takes me through a powerful exercise in vulnerability. He shares some deeply personal poems and walks me through writing my own, and I learn that to truly connect with someone else, you must offer something of yourself first.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
To learn more about IN-Q and his work, check out:
The Never Ending Now poetry journal
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The Smell of Memory with scent designer Dawn Goldworm
Our sense of smell has the deepest tie to emotion and memory. But it's also the most overlooked. In business, that's a giant missed opportunity.
Dawn Goldworm knows how to use scent to evoke emotion and create loyalty. From Lady Gaga to Ferrari to books, Dawn designs signature fragrances that allow customers to connect with brands in a more meaningful way. A perfumer turned entrepreneur, her company 12.29 works with some of the biggest names in hospitality, fashion, automotive, and beyond.
Many years ago, Dawn helped me create the Scent of Optimism. I was excited to talk with her about what it takes to compose a new smell from scratch and why smell has the unique ability to make a brand instantly memorable.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
To learn more about Dawn and her work, check out:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mastery is an Infinite Game with performance psychologist Mike Gervais
Fierce competition can lead to burnout. How do we train ourselves to maintain excellence without giving in to the pressure to perform?
High-performance psychologist Mike Gervais has a solution. He calls it mastery. Mike's approach to mastering our thoughts and emotions has helped Olympians win gold medals, the Seattle Seahawks win the Superbowl, and CEOs take their companies to the next level.
Mike and I sat down to discuss the psychological tools to fine-tune our inner voices and why focusing on purpose instead of outcome empowers us to accomplish difficult things.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
To learn more about Mike's work, check out his podcast:
Finding Mastery
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Breaking Tradition with cellist Anastasia Kobekina
Classical music could use a little disruption. For Anastasia Kobekina, that means playing outside of its rigid forms.
An accomplished soloist, Anastasia has played with prestigious orchestras all over the world. She also bangs on her cello, improvises with Vivaldi, and sings.
I was thrilled to sit down with Anastasia to discuss her musical experimentations and to hear her play some pieces from her remarkable new album Venice.
This...is A Bit of Optimism.
To learn more about Anastasia and her music, check out:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.