Overcoming Life's Adversities: The Power of Perspective and Patience | Big Sean and Devi Brown
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January 28, 2025
TLDR: Rapper Big Sean and wellness expert Devi Brown discuss growth, adversity, and success on the Wellness Oasis podcast, sharing insights into turning fear into freedom, the power of accountability, and the need for a shift in promoting positivity.

In the latest episode of the podcast, hosts Big Sean and Devi Brown engage in a profound discourse on how one's perspective and patience can significantly impact personal growth and success. The conversation, held at the Wellness Oasis, delves into the meanings of success, the importance of self-awareness, and the real value of creative expression.
Key Insights from Big Sean and Devi Brown
The discussion emphasizes how embracing life's adversities can act as a springboard for growth. Below, we summarize the core concepts presented in the episode:
1. Success Redefined
- Beyond Materialism: Both speakers agree that true success transcends wealth and accolades. It is about finding purpose and fulfillment in one's life journey.
- The Role of Perspective: Big Sean notes that life is fundamentally simple; complications arise from our perception. By choosing how we see challenges, we can turn fear into freedom.
2. The Power of Patience
- Ambition vs. Patience: Big Sean articulates a thought-provoking idea: "Patience is the path to your ambitions." He suggests that rushing to achieve success often stems from a desire to mask insecurities with material achievements.
- True Growth Takes Time: The emphasis is on nurturing ambitions through cultivating patience, as this alignment enhances our enjoyment of the journey itself rather than merely the destination.
3. The Importance of Self-Awareness
- Understanding Self: Self-awareness is a vital trait, allowing individuals to identify their needs and emotions without judgement. It promotes better personal development and fulfillment.
- Separating Happiness from Circumstances: The hosts discuss how challenges should not dictate one's happiness. Recognizing and maintaining happiness independently from external situations is key to a fulfilling life.
4. Transforming Fear into Freedom
- Redefining Fear: Big Sean offers an insightful perspective on fear, referring to it as "false evidence appearing real." He encourages listeners to confront their fears as a means of liberation.
- Faith and Resilience: He recounts personal experiences of facing fears, highlighting how faith steeped in practice can help navigate life's uncertainties.
5. Creativity and Self-Expression
- Creativity as Healing: Both guests highlight creativity as a divine gift and a cure for life's challenges. Big Sean emphasizes that everyone possesses creativity, not just artists. It's about how one chooses to express oneself through various mediums of life.
- Listening and Learning: Devi points out that creativity flourishes from listening deeply to oneself and others, allowing the collective human experience to shape our outputs.
6. Accountability and Positivity
- Owning One's Narrative: The conversation shifts toward the importance of accountability. Being proactive in one’s life is emphasized as a superpower to effect change.
- Marketing Positivity: The hosts discuss how positivity is often overshadowed by negativity in social media, and the need to amplify positive voices and narratives.
Practical Applications for Everyday Life
Strategies to Implement:
- Cultivate Patience: Embrace the journey of your ambitions; let it unfold organically rather than forcing rapid success.
- Practice Self-Awareness: Regularly reflect upon your feelings and judgments to understand what truly brings you joy.
- Transform Fear: Challenge your fears by recognizing them as opportunities for growth rather than suppression.
- Engage in Creative Practices: Explore creative outlets, be it art, writing, or any hobby that brings joy and expressivity.
- Be Accountable: Take ownership of your actions and their consequences; this empowers you to create the life you desire.
- Promote Positivity: Be vocal about positive experiences, fostering a culture that celebrates uplifting stories.
Conclusion
The episode is a reservoir of inspiration, directed towards anyone seeking clarity, especially those navigating life's complexities as entrepreneurs, parents, or individuals aspiring for growth. In a world that often seems overwhelming, Big Sean's and Devi Brown's insights illuminate the path to embracing adversity, fostering patience, and recognizing the beauty of life through creative expression. The conversation serves as a reminder that growth, gratitude, and the pursuit of a higher self are attainable and within reach for all.
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You know, and so like, I do think we take it for granted. We were talking as we were about to go on stage. And the thing that I can't stop thinking about when I think about the context of this format and us three being up here and just even so many of the people that I see in the crowd that could also be up here because I see how they're moving. Life is stunningly basic.
We complicate it to the highest level in its most simplest form. What's crazy is life is actually how you decide to see it. You know, people talk so much about negativity. It's scary when I look in my feed how it's all positivity because the algo understands what I'm paying attention to. The algo isn't sending you to places. It's exposing the places you are actually in.
And once you understand that truth, you control life instead of it controlling you. Thank you. I'll see you next week.
Yeah, and basic, you know, that word basic kind of gets like a negative connotation in people, but like a white tea is basic. Basic doesn't mean bad, actually. Simplicity is the goal. Yeah, it is. It really is. It's the goal. It really, really is. Yeah, thank you for that. But you put something on your LinkedIn that I really resonate with. You wrote, people might think ambition contradicts patience, but I think patience is the path to your ambitions. Yeah. Can you expand on that? That felt really deep for me.
Yeah, I wish I had your music talent because I would really dominate. I think a lot about what I would wish on everyone here. And the first one is health. Back to like really what I'm trying to say here is no matter what's bothering you right now, especially if it's professional, I promise you, you would not give a fuck about it. If something happened to you or the five to seven people you most care about promise. The deal, the miss,
Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. And so that's basically how I live my life, which is why I'm predominantly happy. I just don't know how to give energy to anything but that. And that has been the blessing of my life. And there's a lot that goes into that. We could talk about that after health.
It is scary to me how much I would think about what I would wish on you next. First would actually be self-awareness. The moment you become self-aware is the moment you start loving yourself more is the moment it all starts to click. But way up the list.
would be patients. Number one, number one in my DMs, number one when I watch people move in that I admire or I like, if they're under 40, the vulnerability is patients. People want it so bad, so fast. Here's why patients so interesting to me. I believe that way too many people in this circle right now.
If we really, really got to the core of it, want it, the success, the money, the notoriety, to disguise their insecurities. They want the following count. They want the dollar amounts. They want the jewelry, the car, the relationship. And what is success, really? That's another thing. Well, that becomes the point. If you actually love your game,
You're so in love in it that you want it to go slow. But the reality is that everybody wants to get somewhere so fast because I think they're chasing the wrong thing. They're chasing the trophy instead of the game that gets you the trophy.
See, that was beautifully said. You guys make some noise. That was what he said was very profound. Let that drop in. And not only recognizing what success is to you because these things that we think are success are maybe a by-product of success or maybe just a quick dopamine hit of what you get from success, but it doesn't last. So the real success is, you know, the feeling and of being in your purpose of doing something. And one more thing that I realized
that we all have kind of fucked up a little bit is that we let life not go in our way dictate our happiness. And those are two separate things. When we kind of group it together, it's like if things aren't going our way, it kind of can make us a bitter, shittier person sometimes. And it shouldn't because those are two different things. It's like,
they have nothing to do with each other so i think we grouped it in and we group a lot of things together it's like if i take you to dinner you owe me this movie it's like you know you don't know those are two separate things so just remember that it's your choice to be happy and you're you're literally a walk-in magnet so it's like you have to choose it before everything starts going your way and whether things go your way or not because that is the power
of the God that's in all of us to create our universe is like we get to thinking like when things don't go our way that is just all crashing burns and it's over and it's not in fact
The fact that you feel that way is just the indication that you're meant for something different, something greater, something more, something. And that's a true blessing to recognize that emotion and that feeling. And actually, it's part of the human experience that really shapes us to be our greatest selves ever. So congratulations to everyone who is going through tough times because you are on a path of development that can't be bought and is priceless.
Wow. You know what's really powerful about that is the concept of even thinking that you should have it go your way. You know, as you were talking, I was like thinking and I'm like, man, it's crazy how much humility is such a superpower. Like, I wouldn't even have the audacity to think the way I wanted it to be, it would.
It's actually my favorite thing to think about when I watch our country and the world get more political. The concept that another human being should see the world, the way you see it, is laughable. The thought that somebody living a completely different life, different circumstances, gender, race, religion, where they were raised at what time, what things shape them, are incredible lack of humility.
hurts us at debating dinner tables, but it really hurts us on a much more powerful level of what you're talking about. I was born in the Soviet Union, which probably leads to a lot of my gratitude. I was really born in a very challenging place, and I think a lot of people don't realize the Soviet Union was more North Korea than it was Iran, meaning you couldn't leave. It's not like other places wouldn't take your passport. You couldn't leave the country. So I was born in jail, actually.
And obviously, I got very lucky and fortunate to come to the US at a young age. But when I think about just the sheer power in one of my favorite Russian sayings that my mom and dad used to say a lot, which was, man makes plan and God laughs. My grandma used to say that too. She's not Russian yet.
You know how all this shit is. We all said the same shit at one point and we just broke it up into different versions of it. But I think what's really powerful is
To your point earlier, congratulations that you're going through this. Is there any confusion to anyone that adversity is the foundation of success? Like it is the most black and white thing in the world. One of the things we all fear is we, especially for people in this room who've gone through the journey of coming from little to building something, you spend your life being concerned about your children, being too entitled or not understanding. Like adversity is the foundation of success and the lack of humility
The entitlement that comes along with you made a plan and it's supposed to be like that is so crazy. It is. It's so crazy. It really is. Well said. Yeah. And to anyone, one of the biggest things that's helped me too is like recognizing that fear is just really just false evidence appearing real. And it's okay. Everything you have been afraid of losing something, gaining something, you know, I used to
have a fear of like
So I come from Detroit. It's a little, probably, you know, a notch out better than a Soviet Union. But it's a city that's the only city in America that's ever gone bankrupt, you know what I'm saying? It's seen as ups and downs. The city of like, Hustler's real. Real go-getters and like, people who know how to make something out of nothing. But I also think that growing up with that mentality kind of gave me a fear of losing money, right? And it's like, when I read,
Deepak Chopra is seven spiritual laws of success. It was like, I remember him talking about money as energetic as a flow. It's almost like blood. You can't let blood sit there and coagulate. You gotta keep it moving. And all of these terms, it takes money to make money that our soul just said all the time. They really have a lot of truth to them. But I remember one of my biggest fears was losing money. And I remember I got my first advance from music
when I signed to Good Music to Kanye and it was for $15,000. And it was signed by Don DeWesson, I got it and now I remember at the time I took my girlfriend to get ice cream and it went down to $14,972.
But I'm like, damn, this shit. And it was always a fear around it, right? But I had that faith. And I say, I talk about this in my book, and the stuff. Faith is like that invisible bridge you can't really see, but it holds you up. And as long as you believe it'll get you to the other side, it will. And I always have faith that it was always going to work out. And once I really let go of that fear, not only was I able to enjoy my life more, I was able to magnetize
money no matter how anything goes no matter how well my album does or doesn't do no matter how well it's like the universe really does take care of me I had I made an agreement I swear with God and it's like then out because you know what really kind of broke the fear is like okay what if I did go back to zero I was fine I was actually happy at zero too actually and I was like fine you know that
It's like if I had to go back there, it doesn't matter. One of the most profound things, Sadhguru said to me when I sat and talked with him, I was like, where's your favorite place in the world? He was like, wherever I'm at. And I was like, damn.
And um, but you know, my point being is that all of these fears is false evidence appearing real. It all goes back to love, which is what we're all blessed to experience. And love is just life or living on valued energy and life is just love and full effect. So just remember that don't trip on nothing because it's all temporary. And before you know it, it's over the good and the bad times. So just enjoy every moment of it and every experience. Because you're capable.
because that's the point of the whole thing. You're capable. The reason I jumped in, and I don't want to jump on your flow, but like, and, yeah, I want to just cosign it, like, yeah, yeah, like, you know, like, I really, I think about this all the time, like, and what? I say that to myself all the time, and what? Blah, blah, blah, blah will happen, and this bad thing, and what?
And what? And that's why, that's why what that game does to you and I've been doing this since I was 15 years old. There was no books, there was no fucking podcast. There was the luck of the draw of my DNA, my circumstance. And I had a mother that just fucking did it. You know, like just fucking did it. Like built me so proper. Like it scares me. It scares me how not scared I am.
There's just nothing. What? I'll fucking sleep on the street and have nothing. And because I definitely don't give a fuck what you think about that. And I just wish more people didn't care what other people thought about theirs. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Can I just point out something I am loving about this conversation is
It is so counterintuitive to the way I think the Zeitgeist has been trying to feed us, program us, and brainwash us, especially over the last two decades where it's been so individualistic. It's been so about peacocking. Look at me. How big am I? Celebrate me. And it really isn't even about what the work is that you do. It's just I want you to know that I'm working, right? And so like we have gotten to this thing where we have so deepened in our connection to a false identity. But we bought it.
Yeah, yeah, we bought it. People are selling shit all the time. Did you buy it? You're in control. I love this whole, you know, you got me so hyped with the way you started this. You can see I sprung up. No, sure. But the world selling shit 24-7, you better stop fucking blaming the world of selling. You better blame your fucking self for buying.
No shit they're selling good news, but it's also cuz it's like that that's the only thing that were fed that's the reason why But it's not but it's not no no I'm not talking about us, but I'm talking about some people that's the only thing they see it But it's on them to see something else like I'm telling you the anecdote the drug the cure is accountability and
We've gotten to such a place. Why do you think the rise of politicians has happened?
I promise you, it's because people actually believe someone's gonna do something to help them. And yes, I get that concept and there's parts of that. Now, but it starts with you, though. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. You know? Again, I started- I don't know. A prejudice is gonna make us better people. Whether it went this way or that way or this or that, like, the second you realize how much control you actually have, no matter what's being sold, I don't buy it.
Right? And so you're understanding that. Oh, come on. Okay. Yes. We're here today, right? Especially for this panel to speak specifically about wellness, creativity. Wellness and creativity is the work of humanity.
And I think that that is the piece that every single thing that each of these great masterful men on stage have been speaking to. It's tap into the humanity of your experience being here on earth and use your skill set, use the gifts, use everything else to create.
Let's talk about creativity for a second. You know, creativity is next to godliness. It is godliness. Creation, right? And we are each co-creating in every single moment. And I personally find creativity to be the cure for karma, to be the cure for any positions we might find ourselves in and to continue to help and to serve. But with that in mind, what does creativity and self-expression mean to each of you? And how do you even tap into it?
Well, there's nothing more creative than creating a creation. We all are a product of creativity. I think we kind of get confused, thinking being creative is like being an artist.
But everything we do is creative, from putting on our outfit, from our thoughts we think, from raising our children, or being an auntie or uncle, or being a cousin, or being a son, or being everything we do, or being a lawyer, or a doctor, or a whatever job it is, an accountant,
Whatever anything you can think of, it's creative because you are creating your experience. So to me, I think make sure you keep the idea that, you know, one of the worst things you could do is self-sabotize yourself of being like, well, I'm not a creative person. I'm an analytical person.
And being analytical is still creative. Like my accountant, my boy who does numbers and stuff, he's creative. Josh Klein, shout out, he's like, he is such a creative guy. But my point being is that when it comes to that, realize how creative you all are and how the power you have to do so. And as far as like arts, what was the second part of the question? Creative.
self-expression and how do you begin to bring the muse out to bring it to life well my journey is different than a lot of other people's journeys you know music has an express myself in that way is just one way or writing or whatever it is but
How you choose to express yourself is truly up to you. There's no wrong way to do it. It's almost like meditating. You know how punk some people be like, man, I can't meditate. I can't clear my, I can't shut my brain off. It's like, well, you're not a computer. You know, you can't go brain dead and just be like, not think of anything. That's not the point of meditation. It's kind of like,
adjusting and understanding that you, whatever it is to express yourself, whatever brings you that feeling of like just feeling good, it could be jumping on a trampoline, it could be riding the waves, it could be sitting in the sand, it could be going to nature, it could be all of these things. I don't know, whatever it is you love to do, as long as it's like not like destructive to other people, you know.
then that is a way of not only expressing yourself, but being artistic, being creative. And I think that the moment we're born, we all are creative people. We all are artists in our own way. And once we accept that and embrace that, you will begin to take your art or creativity to the next level. So just always keep that in mind.
When I think about this question, for me, it starts with listening. I think it's really kind of laughing myself a lot because I'm so over the top and I have a lot of energy. Yeah, you do. And I put out so much content and I'm always talking. And I always wonder, I'm like, man, I wonder if people realize 98% of my time is actually listening.
You know, for me, the creative process comes from a place, I think one of the reasons people struggle with having their creative achieve what they want is because it comes from a selfish place instead of a selfless place. I think the reason so much works for me in my creative output and content is
almost all of it comes from reading all the messages I get every day, which then gives me an insight to the temperament of the collective, which then allows me a starting point to create. People ask me a lot of like, because I've been doing it
For a while now, and I've been putting out content for so long, they're like, I've seen a change in you get it. I'm like, it's because I'm listening. You know, it ebbs and flows. You're a true vessel, man. It's really not a coincidence you are who you are. You are somebody who really...
is getting these messages to you and you can't you and it's like that's why you got so much energy because you gotta get it out of here jumping out your seat and that's beautiful man like I'm really honored to just sit next to you I'm saying we've been talking about getting up for so long so I'm just so happy to see you face to face because a lot of these people a lot of these people
that we love and make plans with. They're gone. You know what I'm saying? That's happened so many times in my life. Family members friend, I'm gonna be there. No, I'll come next year. I'll be there next year. Oh, you know, now I'm gonna get what you later on. Next thing you know, it's like you can't predict how long someone's gonna be here. You know, so that's one of the biggest lessons to I learned is that whatever you could do now, do it now.
do it now experience you know we see how fast life is going we see how how quick things are happening like do it now do it now the power of now
There's another great, a great one that is real important to apply on a daily basis. But yeah, man, you're a vessel, man. That's why you'd be so excited and so much content and it's awesome. Thank you. Hey, everybody, actually, I'm sorry to be jumping in the middle of the podcast, but the truth is I'm like shitting the bed on this. Everybody else is getting people to review on Spotify and Apple.
And like, the Vayner Nation does none of that, because I've never asked. So, if this podcast hasn't ever meant anything to you, please go to Spotify or Apple right now and leave a review. By the way, even if you give me a one-star review, because you think it's shit, I respect it, but just leave a review and actual review. Four or five stars and the actual details of why, yeah, that would mean something for me. So thanks, now back to the podcast.
I mean, you both are such vessels and I think you both are such paradigm shifters and have created work that will outlast you. Not just outlast you right, but work that will help generation. So if someone discovered something either of you did in a hundred years, I feel that it would be meaningful and masterful. Sean, you've added to your repertoire.
Yes. So like global music icon is not enough. He is now. That's funny. You are an author. You have a book that is out in January. Yeah. Go higher. I had a chance to read it.
Thank you. It's phenomenal. It's a really powerful book that is filled with so much authentic inspiration, like so much deeply authentic inspiration, so many ways that you have created your life, created your experiences in yourself. But something that I think is so special is it's not just your story, it's the wisdom you've gleaned and it's your practices.
So this book is filled with real practices for higher consciousness, for someone to be able to truly tap into that next layer of creativity or that next layer and understanding of your own healing. What called you to write it? And then how is this process for you?
Well, I grew up with a lot of like guardian angels in the forms of like my paint, my mom, you know, or my grandma. And yesterday we went to this movie premiere where we celebrated my grandma. She was a female black captain in World War II. And she was part of this the six triple eight battalion.
and they were kind of like the morale of the military so they like boosted the military because they were able to connect seventeen over seventeen million pieces of mail to from europe back home to their loved ones right and before they were almost starting to lose the war because they didn't have any motivation they couldn't see who they were fighting for and what these strong black women were able to accomplish with something that a lot of
Other people that tried to come before them couldn't figure out how to do and have a successful communicative mail system of back and forth. So, you know, my grandma was a very modest person and she kind of would tell us, but it wasn't till Tyler Perry made this movie about the group of women that she was a part of. And I felt so connected to her. And she was the best grandma in the world. Like I'm talking like Sunday dinners. She would bake our favorite cakes on our birthday. I mind was a pound cake and my brothers was a coffee cake.
and she was the first one to introduce me to books and reading you know from books like The Hobbit and then it was like the secrets to the richest man who ever lived and that book isn't it's about King Solomon and it isn't necessarily the
It's not about being rich in money. It's about really being rich in all sorts of ways and really being your best self. And then I got introduced from my mom, you know, to seven spiritual laws and asking it is given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. And all of these things, right? So I knew at 11 years old, I wanted to be a rapper. That's what that's what I was going to be. I know how, but I just knew it was going to happen, right? So the beautiful mom that I have
was the first person I rap for and at that time my mom is a very protective person we grew up in Detroit so just to put in perspective our neighbor both my neighbors sold drugs you know at the time who was who was probably the most popular rapper I'll probably say like gangster rap for show was like I was like playing doggy style Snoop Dogg all shit in my house getting Tupac you know biggie right so when I wanted to rap
Even though that's not what she was really like. My mom was a teacher. She was an English teacher. She still supported me because she saw how important my dream was. And she really could have shitted on my whole existence at that moment. She could have been like, no, don't do that. That's not what you're going to do.
You know, but she didn't. She supported it. And it's something I took serious as a job since I was 11 years old, right? So when I did get my chance of like unrealistic fairy tale story of rapping for my idol, getting discovered, having a record deal, selling 185 million records or whatever, some crazy, all of these things, right?
It was really because of the foundation that was set by these women in my house, these beautiful, my mom, my grandma, and my dad as well. Because his rise to school really helped a lot. I was blessed. But you know, when I sat with my homie, Jay Shetty, and I was telling him my story, he was like, everyone doesn't have that angel of a mom that you had. Everyone doesn't have these things. You need to tell your story and use some of your practices.
because there are people who are confused about their lives and not know how to get from point A to point B to point C mentally, you know, and you could really help some people. So he was the one who put in perspective of me to even write a book, you know what I'm saying? It was something I always wanted to do, but
I remember when I got a chance to talk to Kobe and I was supposed to link with him and play him some new music and stuff and a couple months later he was gone. I remember when Nipsey Hussle hit me up and was like, man, let's finish this song, come to my video and I'm like, damn, it's kind of far, I'm gonna catch you next time and he's gone, right? So many family members, my auntie, auntie, I'm gonna see you soon, you know, I go overseas, I'm doing shows, she's gone.
And I realized that I got to do it. I had to do it right now. And the importance and when I had a son, when that boy came, it's like that it puts in perspective of how fast life really goes. They grow like and develop and
You know, what kind of man would I be by having the experiences and seeing the miracles I've seen? I'm blind behind the miracles I've seen and I put it into something that you can hold and read and experience. You know, it's not enough just through the music. Like I'll put a song out and I'll talk about something. You know, I got a song called Boundaries, a song called One Man Can Chain, all these things, but it's not enough. So I realized that
let me put these practices that are easy practices and you can take every time i read a book like this i take notes on it personally because i like to look back at the notes if i take a two-day three-day break i like to come back and really be right in that vibration you know arm so that is the reason why i wrote the book because there are people that come from where i come from
that may not have the same guidance that I had and I'm just trying to give them some some free game of not just from me and experiences that I've learned but from all of these masters that I've gotten a chance to sit with and talk with and take a piece of information from not just the music industry but also spiritual mentors and also you know World War II veterans and all of these amazing practices and mindsets
that I've been able to be exposed to, and that I kind of have been sitting on. I kind of have not been sharing. I kind of not have been expressing all the way. And so I'm very, very excited to start my journey as an author and start expressing that. Congratulations. It's such a beautiful work. Thank you. Thank you.
Everybody, don't forget to hit that Amazon cart too, because it's out in January. Yeah, I mean, whether you do buy it or pre-order it, or you buy it or pass it on, however it gets to you, some of my books that changed my life were books that were given to me from someone else who read them. I was like, you got to check this out, man. So, however you can get it, and if it's something you need, if it's something you feel like,
You know, some of you guys are completely satisfied with your lives and exactly where you need to be. Maybe you don't need that. But for like someone like myself who, you know, deals with life a certain way and it's kind of like I get all of these spiritual practices, it's like putting a layer of armor on it. No matter what hits me, it's like I was able to bounce off of me and say, well, I'm able to get
bounce back from it instead of it, instead of like it used to really affect me and tear me down and I used to be bitter. And it would affect my output in every other aspect of my life. And that's not the case anymore. So I hope that it can impact you. It is a lot of stories of my life in there just to give like examples of things. And yeah, I really can't believe that like, yeah, it's like, it's here. It's here.
and Gary. Yes. This big old baby. So you published your first children's book this year and a day and day trading, which is a best seller. And in this book, you have also that one's a best seller. That is the children's book. And within those characters. Yes.
You are bringing and it's interesting because you've really laid the scene for this and everything that you've said but it's all about positivity and it's all about kind of driving positivity in children and in the way that they feel about themselves. What is your strategy behind this and why do you find it to be so important especially through this medium?
TikTok was a really big moment in my career because in 17, you know, I was paying a lot of attention to musically in 15 and 16. I was an early investor in an app called Tumblr back in the day. And I thought it was going to be bigger than Facebook and Twitter, which were two other companies I invested in during that time. And it was because I was fascinated that Tumblr was focused on the interest graph, not the social graph. Hey, are you rich?
I was obsessed with Tumblr. I thought that what you're interested in.
was something really powerful. Not who you follow. And I was in an interesting age when social hit. I was 31, 32. So I'd gone through the high school college thing and was on the other side and realized how many people that your friends with in high school and college. It's a different relationship and things evolve in your early 30s. And as everyone remembers, that's what Facebook was built on and early Twitter. And so it became obvious to me that interest was going to matter.
Musically came along and it was the first platform that was around the interest not who you follow obviously tiktok bought that
I explode on TikTok early. I yell and scream to all of you to jump on it. I know some of you did, and that was good. I know a lot of you wish you did back when I was yelling about it. But what happened for me was my audience got dramatically younger. So instead of when I would go to the airport or anywhere else, 25, 27, 42-year-olds came up to me. Now all of a sudden, in 2018, I have 13, 14, 15, 16-year-olds coming up to me.
And I'm doing what I always do, which is I listen and I realize, and this is not some profound statement, but it was so real for me in this one year moment, two year moment, I was like, fuck, this 14 year old is getting this?
and is gonna do something with this because he or she is not as molded and not as far along as a 25, 27 year old. Back to sayings, meaning things, old dog new tricks. It is harder when you've been in your ways for 35 years. It takes a lot of people here who know exactly what I'm about to say. It takes more work, real work to change up your shit when you've been doing it for 40 years one way. But when you're 14, you're still molding.
So that was a huge chapter. It's been a very bright chapter for me. Feeling the effects of some of these kids in her early 20s that started to understand success was peace of mind, not a piece of paper. Right? And so that was huge. And then I said, fuck it. You know what's, you know, I was like, 20 was good. I'm like, you know what's better than 2014? And I was like, you know what's better than 14? Four. I was like, fuck this. I'm going earlier.
And so, meet me in the middle is an interesting book if you look at it. It's positivity based on accountability. Eager, Eagle, and patient pig. They're fucking awesome. I love them. Eager, Eagle is you, man. Eager, Eagle is you. Eager, Eagle is me. And you know what happens when you're eager or ambitious or hungry or wanted? If you go too hard, you become sloppy.
If you go too far in anything that is good, it becomes a vulnerability. Patient pig, patience, we just talked about it. But if you go too far with patience, it becomes complacency. If you take patience too far, it becomes non-action or even worse laziness. So what this is trying to teach kids is like, get your shit in the middle. This isn't left or right, it's the middle. This isn't blue or red, this shit's purple.
It's balanced. One of the biggest issues in our society, just to go on a real serious kick, because anytime I have a platform I go there, we've become incredibly good at blaming technology for anxiety and depression. When you look at the data, I promise you this will be understood sooner than later. It is the over coddling and entitlement of modern parenting.
We've gone, it was well intended. A lot of us overcompensated for how our parents' generation did it. But when you start going to a place where you are getting kids into a place of complete no accountability, when you are paying for your 26 year olds existence, they're not in a good place, I promise you. I promise you. And so,
When, you know, I had a kid come up to me the other day and he was like, you know, I'm really fucked up this and this. And he's all, and I was like, I said, stop taking your parents money. Do you know that there's people out there taking money from their parents in their 20s and shitting on their parents? Isn't that crazy? It's fucking crazy. That is crazy. We have completely lost our way. And you know who I blame? The parents. My parents come to me because I talk about this and they're like, Gary, you're right. It's all fucked up. I'm like, so stop giving it to them.
They're like, what do I do? I'm like, don't give them the money. And so we have over coddled. We have to find the middle. And I think the faster you find the middle, the faster you get happy. And so that's why I wrote the book. Thank you. That'd be giving my parents money now.
We use that on that and that way too. But no, you write balance. Balance is very key. It's so real. It's so real. Like you're always in trouble if you're if you're not finding and what this goes back. Notice what I said at first health. Where did I go? Second self awareness.
If you're self-aware you realize you might be skewing too much here or too much there then you can start holding yourself accountable and Yeah, I just I think we're in a what about this? Yeah, what about this though? Because this is like the op this is actually really funny based on those two books This is the complete opposite I like to write books in either one side or the other it's either gonna be very philosophical what I call clouds or I like to go deep into the dirt day trading attention is
a tactical textbook on how to teach everyone here to take advantage of the single biggest opportunity in the actual world, which is the seven social networks that have a dominant force of human attention, the sheer amount of attention
Like, man and women hours in the world that sit on the seven platforms from LinkedIn to YouTube, to Twitter, to Facebook, to Instagram, TikTok, is staggering. And stick with me now, it's fucking free.
I know you can buy ads but I think all of you know it does not cost to post and I think a lot of you know in the last three years the game got switched up and it doesn't matter how many followers you have anymore the content itself is getting the reach this is a profound opportunity
It is profound, and I really don't know why people are not fully taking advantage of it. I do know because they make philosophical things for themselves, like, especially a group like this, like, I don't want the technology or the algorithms bad or China or some dumb shit. And in reality, and in reality, and in reality, and I will tell you right now, in reality, whatever you want to happen for you,
whether it is extremely noble or short term selfish and interesting for you of like wanting to buy something. There is no quicker path than to be dominant on creating content organically on social, but it's a fucking skill.
It's fucking hard. People think it's like, ah, I'll take this photo. No, no, it's fuck. It's real. And it's different on every platform. And so I wrote a real textbook. I wrote a book 10 years ago called Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook that really hit for a lot of people. And it helped them. This is the 301 to that 101. And it's been very, very fulfilling getting the emails every single day from, yes, we work with iconic brands all to chase. But a small shop owner who's trying to make it
selling flowers in like a suburb of Denver, reading this, putting one post. This is how it works now. One post that hits and gets them over the hump of stressing if they can pay rent for their location. That is incredibly fulfilling. And I'm going to say something because I just want it on fucking wax, as they used to say.
You are all gonna regret not taking advantage of this era. There is new technology being built every day that is gonna move us away from the phone. The glasses thing is real and it's coming. The social thing will evolve just like every platform, print, radio, television, you have your golden era. This is the golden era of social. It's fucking free. And you are not squeezing that orange enough, I promise you. I'm gonna get the squeezing.
I'm gonna get to squeeze it. That's really well said. And you're 100% right. And you were. Look at your world. One song, like it's insanity. A kid could be in the middle of nowhere fucking Chile. Puts it out, one TikTok. That's right. That's different. We take it for granted because we're living in it. But it's fucking free.
Do you understand that attention is the singular asset? It's free. It does not cost to post. People are like, oh, the algorithm's fucking me up. I got shadow banned, fucking zucks. I'm like, it's fucking free. It's fucking free. I do not understand how people don't understand this. So that's it. So that's it.
Okay, I don't want to take up all the time myself. We are going to open it up to the audience for three questions. We have two icons with incredible amounts of wisdom. So I'm going to go to the hands I saw first. We'll start here in the yellow. If we have someone to help with the mic, please. Someone is coming this way. Thank you, Gary.
Thank you so much. I want to talk about the work personal life balance as a mom of three with big goals and big dreams. It's really hard to even leave my kids to be here today, but it was a hard yes for me.
Congratulations. Thank you. You have to choose your, choose your hearts as they say. Um, you, uh, I don't know. You want to, you want to go ahead? I do actually. I have a lot of passion for this one. Who gets to be the judge and jury of the balance? I've, oh, like what is work life balance? Let me give you one man's unique point of view on work life balance. If you work a nine to five, 40 hours a week and you hate that fucking job, you have no fucking balance.
But that's not how we define it, right? Like, who gets to define the work-life balance? The other thing I always try to tell people is stop beating yourself up on this. You don't remember 99% of the shit that your parents picked on work-life balance growing up as a kid. Promise. So, like, maybe this will liberate somebody. It is okay to occasionally miss a recital or a game. I promise.
And this young woman, I was on tour in Asia. And after a talk in Singapore to Philippines, this young woman, she was like 27, 28. She was talking about her mom was one of the biggest judges in the country. Her whole life, she felt her absence.
at these events, recitals. The moms were all there, not hers. And then she said something that completely shook me. I'll never forget it, hence why I'm bringing it up. She said, and then I was 24, and I realized my mom showed me how to live. She didn't tell me how to live. So what I'm saying is you just don't know. And you know, especially if anybody here is one of multiple kids, you have siblings, or if you're a parent of multiple children. You also know that DNA is a motherfucker.
Meaning you could do the same damn thing and one kid sees it one way and one kid sees it completely the other way. So I think who the fuck is the judge in the jury of work-life balance? You are, your partner is, and that's the only game that matters and it ebbs and flows. There's chapters for some people that are building right now. There's moments where you have to put your head down and you're building for you and for your family. And for you is okay, because if you're not good, then you're not gonna do any good.
Yeah. That word boundaries is really important to set your boundaries. It's okay to people who love you and to people who understand it, to understand those boundaries. 100%. And you're going to be even a better partner, mother, you know,
Everything you are you're gonna be even better when you take care of yourself first and I get it especially when they're super young but It's up to you to establish that like dynamic and they'll love you for it. They'll have they'll love to see that coconut drinks here Yeah, that shit looks delicious. Yeah, I can carry a coconut You know what I mean though
You see what I'm saying at boundary? Real important work. I would love to add to that too, because I don't believe it all in work-life balance. There is no such thing. And we have just got to get that out of our terminology. But I do believe in harmony. And I feel like sometimes it is a deficit, right? Sometimes that is going to happen. But how can you find the best way to harmonize whatever is present so that there is some level of flow, even if you're out of balance?
and just find more ways to see what uniquely fills your children's cup. I cannot always be there for my six-year-old. I wish, you know, I'm working. She's an incredible mom, by the way, too. She really is. Thank you so much, and likewise. No way, I'm sorry for interrupting this, but I wanted you to. And it's good that you're not always there. This goes back to how we got to this level of depression and anxiety. We have to stop building bubble babies. Kids need to skin their knee. Kids need to be scared. I think kids need to start fighting again.
I'm being dead fucking serious. I think you are not a real man until you get punched in the fucking mouth. I'm serious about this. We've gotten to a place where we've... I'm being dead fucking serious about this. The elimination of adversity, the overcoddling, we created zoo animals.
You know what they used to do with zoo animals? They would hold them for a while, they put them in the wild. Those motherfucking zebras got killed in a minute, because they were in the zoo, not in the wild. That's our children now. I had a fucking kid ask if their parent could come to the interview at the company the other day. My friends, and all the gasps, just think about the dumb shit you're doing for your kid. If you ever complain to a teacher about their grade, you're fucking up. Let them get these.
Like we are over coddling the fuck of our children. Let them do everything. Well, I think we need to be more aware about our children because we're coddling them in a way that society is just saying, do this, do that, do that, do this. But what does your child uniquely need? And the more awareness we have, the more one-on-one understanding.
You know what else? And it always starts with good intentions. I promise you, whoever came up with eighth place trophies, it was good intentions, right? It wasn't like they were trying to fuck shit up, but I will promise you right now, one of the worst things that ever happened was eighth place trophies. We're teaching kids to be scared of losing. Losing is so bad, we have to give you a fucking trophy, even though you fucking suck in soccer. What do you think happens when people become 23 in that framework?
My friends, your relationship with losing is the direct correlation to your happiness. If you fall in love with losing, you become fucking unstoppable. Wow, so accurate.
What were you saying? Did you want to do what you finished saying? Because as a mother, we can only speak from a male's perspective as a woman and a mother. Is there anything you wanted to say? I would just say, if this is useful and for anyone else, but as someone that does, I travel a lot. I'm gone like half the week, but I also am a single mom. So I'm at first grade, dropping my kid off and doing all the things. And I found that to find that harmony for myself, it's about seeing
What are the ways that he receives joy and love the best? And I think for each child, it's different. But I try to feed his cup and fill it up based on what most uniquely meets his heart. And so for us, that means, again, I'm gone for a couple days now or three sleeps as I like to call it with him.
What I try to do is the second he wakes up, I FaceTime Tim, you know, at like four in the morning. And then it's like, we're getting that 10 minutes in and you're getting filled with love. And then right before bed, there's no one that does bad their story time. And so you find the things. And I found that that, at least in this moment, feels like enough for him. And it allows me to do what God is asking me to do. Yeah, thank you. And we'll take our last question here. Thank you. Thank you.
Just quickly on that same note of feeling your cup because I shared I work with moms and helping them reconnect with themselves and transition from women to motherhood without losing themselves. It's not only thinking about feeling your kid's cup, but your own. So if you are doing things that feel you and you just said it beautifully, you're setting the example. You're showing your kid how to leave
their own life, because especially women and mothers, sorry, mothers of girls, I have a baby girl, and if I don't do this, if I'm not here today, I'm not letting her know that she can do it herself. If whoever aspires to be president of whichever country in this world
doesn't go into the ballot and put themselves out there. I'm telling my daughter or my kid that that's not available for themselves. So I believe in work life integration. I love the word harmony. So I'll use that one from now on as well. But thank you for sharing. I think extending an invitation to all women, all mothers and men, because it's a teamwork. So instead of thinking that society puts all these limits on ourselves,
What are we buying and how are we changing that narrative? Because it's not only for us, but if we're doing things that fuel us, we can show up as better mothers, as better community members, as just better people. And the world needs better people right now. Thank you. That we're a communication to is such an important to communicate to your loved ones, to even to your kids. They're smart at our young age. They're smart. And if you communicate to them properly,
You know, communication is the energy of God. I say communication is the bridge to salvation that God is holding our hands to walk across. And just like any bridge, you can't skip a step to get to the other side. So as long as we communicate and explain
Why things are changing hey this is why mommy has to be gone more is what daddy has to be gone more and they'll want you to be happy they want you to feel good you know it's like yeah they want what they want but when you explain to them and and really go the extra step of being such a good that's such a good you know face time in your son at four in the morning she says
You know, and it gets brutal. It gets brutal, but the rewards are even more rewarding than the brutalness of it all. So, you know, communicating to whoever it is that is in your ethos, in your universe. I feel like that is like the number one way to, you know, to set your boundaries and go to where you need to go at in life. You know, it's all up to you.
And that's right. I want to jump on one thing before we get out of here. You said the world needs more better people. I actually have a slight tweak on that that I challenge a lot of people here because I again know a lot of people that are here right now looking around the audience. The world has a stunning amount of good people. The problem is that negativity is very good at marketing and very good at being loud.
Positivity, there are many positive good people here. They stay to themselves. When I think about what I do for a living, I am willing to take the risks and the ramifications of being out there because it comes with plenty because I think it is important to be a communicator of practical positivity. I would challenge a lot of people here to start posting more
positivity for them, not to flex what you've got going on, putting out more good because that's what's happening. The negativity is loud and is marketing. The positivity is you're keeping it to yourself and staying good and keeping it selfish for you. We do not have enough courage right now from people that are loving and positive because oftentimes they don't have the stomach for the negativity that comes back.
Mm-hmm. That is so... That is real. Wow. Yeah, because sometimes I definitely don't be feeling like Sharon. I'd be like, man, this is such a... We keep all this joy just for me. I would argue it's one of the biggest single contributions that people can be making right now. Putting out a piece of content, especially with the way the algorithms are working, about something that is positive.
If more people, you know how many people, when they have a bad experience at the airport, get on social and take a shit on the airline? But, you know how many people go on social when somebody opens the door and says, have a nice day to them? Nobody.
We keep positivity to ourselves, and we are marketers of negativity. We must change that, because that's what's got everyone confused. We spend all our energy on the .00001 negative and negative people. When the world is remarkably positive, we need to be better at communicating the positivity. We have unlimited good people. We need good people to fucking talk. Yeah.
Let the revolution begin. My God. Before we get out of here, first, I just want to say profound reverence and gratitude to each of you for what you bring to the world and what you brought to each of us today. This was powerful beyond measure. I can't wait to watch the video because I just feel that so many seeds were planted in our hearts that we can explore in so much of the future. So thank you both for being here. Thank you both for your commitment to the art and the work that you put forward.
Thank you and yes to you as well. Thank you. Thank you. And everyone here gets a copy of my book as well. So enjoy. It's kind of an earlier version. So you might see a typo or two or like. Oh, they were named. Oh, it's not in there. My bad.
It's a postcard redemption. I was a postcard redemption. Okay, there you go. There you go. It's still 390. It's still 390. But I guess it didn't mean today. Now you just don't have to find room in your suitcase. Thank you. Thank you. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Have a great new year. Thank you. Thank you.
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