Order Matters Too
en
January 27, 2025
TLDR: Relax in a chair assembled incorrectly by Bob at the Distractible Cafe, savoring either Mark's Finger Espresso or Wade's Frog Coffee.

Welcome to the Distractible Cafe! This episode, titled Order Matters Too, brings humor, chaos, and insightful discussions on various topics as hosts Mark, Wade, and Bob gather to entertain and engage their audience.
Key Highlights of the Episode
Introduction and Humor
The episode kicks off with lively banter. Mark's tease about today's competition and Wade’s witty observations set a humorous tone. The hosts humorously reflect on their previous discussions and personal experiences in an array of topics.Setting Up Workspaces
The trio delves into how they set up their workspaces, examining the importance of organization:- Initial Setup: It's emphasized that when setting up a workspace, starting with monitors—due to their fragility—is crucial.
- Cabling Strategy: Keeping cables connected to devices to prevent confusion is a common strategy among the hosts, showcasing the importance of planning in setting up systems efficiently.
- Personal Preferences: Each host shares unique preferences on workspace layouts, revealing their personalities and styles, especially in a creative environment.
Flat Pack Furniture Assembly
The discussion shifts to assembling IKEA-style furniture:- Unboxing Rituals: Wade details his careful approach—removing pieces gently and laying them out to prevent damage.
- Mark and Wade's Assembly Tactics: There's a humorous rivalry in how they tackle the assembly process, with Wade favoring the instructions and Mark preferring to wing it and go back if needed.
Coffee and Tea Preparation
A lighthearted conversation emerges about the rituals of making coffee and tea, emphasizing the role of personal style:- Coffee Methods: Mark reveals his unorthodox cleaning methods, leading to playful criticism from Wade and Bob about hygiene and safety.
- Personal Preferences: Each host shares their personal quirks and methods, highlighting the often-neglected art of coffee preparation.
Setting Up New Technology
The hosts discuss the excitement of setting up new phones, stressing that initial setup includes logging into accounts while maintaining some skepticism about the experience still feeling familiar yet exciting.
Expert Opinions and Practical Applications
One of the underlying themes discusses the importance of using a methodical approach in organizing tasks and setting up workspaces or technology while revealing how personal quirks shape the overall experience:
- Planning is Key: Mark’s approach shows that foresight and planning simplify future tasks.
- Adaptability: Wade's adaptable view on technology setup showcases the need to adjust based on personal and environmental needs.
Final Thoughts
In this episode of Distractable, while humor and friendly competition dominate, there are valuable insights into workplace organization, technology setup, and personal routines. The casual yet structured discussion creates a relatable atmosphere that resonates with listeners from all walks of life. Whether it’s about configuring a desk, brewing the perfect cup of coffee, or wrestling with furniture assembly, the lessons resonate about maintaining order in the chaos of daily life.
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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, bleary bomb sees a starship blow, has issues with his hose, and asks the guys for the perfect setups. Weensy wade slips in time, perks for peaks, has horror invoked paranoia, and hunts thralls. Masonic mark, molest metals goes trucking, is a moving maestro, and fingers without protection.
From déjà vu to flatpacks. Yes! It's time for Order Matters 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Distractable! No qualifiers today, just distract. I can't remember the last time I didn't say it was your uncle's nephews? Uncle's nephew's favorite podcast. Hi, welcome to Distractable. I'm the host because I won and I'm joined today by my
to co-host slash competitors Mark Wade. Hi boys. Hello. They are here to compete to be the next host. You don't know how the show works. There's points. I write them down. The winner of this episode hosts the next one and so on and so forth in perpetuity. Does it go?
And I forget we made some very specific rules about that when we were sitting in a hot tub or something. I don't remember. So if it ends, it ends and we'll find out in post. I have a topic for today. We might even get to it because Mark, you haven't been on fire again since the last time, right? OK, so so we might get to the topic today. But we do usually smart. Mark, make that talk.
We do usually start with small talk. How's it going? Any fun stories? Molly just celebrated her birthday and we went down to Soto in Cincinnati. Soto is so good. So good. It's so much better, even than I remember. Didn't I remember you saying that already? Yeah, but we weren't recording them. No, but I mean, like last week, I could have sworn. We talked about that because Mandy and I have reservations, I think, at Soto.
I was there yesterday. So if we talked about it last week, that's wild. No, no, no. I'm having like the craziest deja vu that last week we talked about you going to Soto and you were like, oh, it was so good. It was specifically that it was so good that reminded me of it. I was like, wait, whoa, I've heard that before.
Mark, are you suffering suffering from my acute time dilation syndrome or something? Just you were here already, but we weren't yet. Good Lord. Maybe I've read 13 books in the last week. How many has Molly read less than that? Take that. Is it the animals? It is.
Who's a book person now? And I know this because you said this. I've heard this before. I just finished number 13 last night, so I don't know how. The Animorphs we did talk about last week. I remember that too. Yes. Yes. OK. OK. All right. I thought I was going crazy. I think we got points for that last time. Oh, God. Wait. Yes. Animorphs for kids. Oh, Mark did it. OK. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, man. I just don't know what time I'm at.
Let me tell you, Path of Exile is still great, but there's this new game, Storage Hunter Simulator. You guys should check out. He's stuck. He's stuck. He's stuck. That one was just for Mark. It weighs being gassed lit by car dealers, and Mark is being gassed lit by Wade. So really, we should blame the car dealers for doing this to you, Mark. This is Lexus' fault, if anyone. Lexus, if you want to give me a car, though, call me. Just don't call me and be like, and hang up. I'm tired of that happening. I don't want the breathing anymore.
The guy, the sales guy, just calls you. He's like, hey, is your car running? What? I don't have a car. Yeah, I know. I'll click. Got him. Where's print calls ever? The middle of the night just leaves me crying. All right, well, I guess my life is the same as it was last week. I go to sodos every day now.
It's not a bad play. That's not exactly the diner from Groundhog Day. I mean, that's pretty high end place to have to go to repeatedly. I, yeah, I don't know if I could afford to go there every day, but it's so good. Well, you get your moneybacks. Presumably it's a loop. So you start back with the same. It's basically free. Kind of. That would this would not be the worst week in the world to live on a loop, put the little sick last week. I wouldn't like to live the sickness over, but like it was mild-ish. So I would take it. See if today changes that.
Well, Mark, what did you have done last week? So I want to give a shout out to the D2 Steel Foamer on the subreddit. Follow the script who not only loves D2 Steel specifically, it's their favorite steel, and they have an emotional support
Little stick of D2 steel, which is which I can really appreciate. I can appreciate that. Oh, I get that. That is that is something. There's only been a few times when I've held something in my hand and they're like, wow, I can feel something about this, you know? The shape. Yeah. I know. Talk about a metal, you know, not anything in my hand going like, wow, I can feel something. Mark stands in the mirror holding his dick in his hand. Wow. I could feel something about this.
No, I mean, I had a bar of silver in my hand one time, like a large bar. That's what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about it. Call your ball silver and gold. Silver and gold and platinum. I've never held a gold bar, but I held a big silver bar and I was like, oh, you know, that's interesting. Cue up all the Wall Street silver people coming out like, that's so much silver. It's our time.
It's going up. Mark's out here rug pulling silver on loses. People think crypto is the cool thing, but we're back to precious metals, baby. This entire strand of hair went right in my mouth and there's still hair in my mouth.
What? Shave it. Have it whenever I think of hair. Well, yeah, so shout out to them. How much is a silver bar worth? It depends on the size of the bar and the price is silver. Well, that's not a standard bar. I don't think that's a thing, but OK. Wasn't gold bars like the whole thing like there's a standard? It's a standard by weight. I don't know that there is a single like this is a bar of gold amount of gold. They're they're weights.
Aren't they? A 10-ounce bar is about $330. That's probably not the actual price of silver. That's like the price of this bar, but who knows? I might be wrong. Oh, silver is $30.97 an ounce right now. And after this episode. Yeah, absolutely. Like the SpaceX Starship.
I missed something again. They had to ditch us. They did a Starship launch and they had to ditch it and the thing exploded. The just the top Starship part, but there's a video or a picture maybe of someone who was flying in a plane who out their window caught the debris explosion field as it was falling back through the atmosphere looked sick and expensive.
It was like unmanned, right? There was no one. Yeah, it's just test flight. There was no human loss of life in other things about my life. Listen, Ford, it's been real, but you got to step up. You got to put out or put up. You got to step in or step out. What's the expression? You got to put your right foot in.
You put your right foot out. You got a shit in the hole or leave. Yeah, exactly. That's what you got to do because I hear a chef. Well, I hear because they're talking to me. Chevy's talking to me and I hear them speak of you to listen. If you want to catch me right at the cusp of me becoming a truck guy, I know I bought the truck that you sell, but you know what I mean.
Give him two more. It's a bidding war. How many trucks? How many trucks? Not quality. Just quantity. They got to be the trucks. They got to be electric. They got to be electric. I'm not going to be rolling coal and maybe rolling lithium. None of that Maverick unibody hybrid stuff either. Pure EVs. I hear you want to go with the Honda Ridgeline or the Toyota truck truck. I don't know if it's got the Toyota. But if if I mean, Bob, you kind of hooked me up on the contact. So, you know,
I there are features about the Chevy that I didn't even know existed and I was already really hype on the Chevy. The coma. They have a coma. Yeah, the taco. I don't think they have an electric one, though. No, Toyota. I don't even think that's hybrid trucks. They might have a hybrid tundra. The tundra apparently has a hybrid. I don't know what the tundra is, but Toyota is weird because they're very against making like fully electric vehicles, which is strange given that they started it with the Prius. I know that's a hybrid, but.
I was looking into cars, family cars, and I say Toyota's marketing strategy is interesting to me. When I was looking into cars, I was like, we want at very least, I think we want a hybrid. We might want an EV, like maybe a plug-in hybrid. We were looking at options of like, we want to get something that's efficient because it's a big family car. It's not like Toyota doesn't even advertise that almost all of their core lineup are just hybrids now because I was looking at like the minivan.
And I was like, well, what do you not have a model of the minivan, the Sienna that's like a hybrid? And I like couldn't find it in the marketing and in on the website. All of the new ones are all hybrids. So they don't mention it. And I'm like, why would you not? Why would you? That was confusing.
Because Toyota is exactly the brand I would think would be like, yeah, the, the previous people, they would have, you know, good hybrid technology. Maybe I'm stupid and I just don't understand their approach, but I felt like it was very confusing that you couldn't even tell out front like, oh, yeah, all of these are hybrids. Look, you don't even have to pick. They're just all hybrids. Look at the mileage. Nothing. No idea. I thought it was super weird.
go to the sales guy like I asked you if you have one that was a hybrid and you said no. Yeah, we don't have one that's a hybrid. They're all hybrids. Yes. Not one. That's a that's a strong sales tactic semantics. It's like the Salarian from Mass Effect. Very literal. I guess he's not as literal. You're thinking drags. Comic drags, not movie drags. Yeah, stupid movie drags. What's that? Guardians of the Galaxy drags. He's supposed to be literal. And the first one, that was the whole thing. But
I'm the only one who doesn't like those movies somehow. Then he just becomes stupid and I think that was a weird pivot. But the Guardians of the Galaxy video game is well written. Oh, they're all well written. It's so good. But anyway, that's my life. I had stuff happen. We were going to record many some days ago and on the day of recording, I woke up and I had no internet and I was like, ah, shit. It's like maybe the internet's down in our area. Well, my internet provider was having technical problems as in their website wasn't working.
But also their internal customer service wasn't working because I called. I was like, Hey, our internet's down. And I can't seem to find the information. And the lady on the phone was like, uh, yeah, um, we don't have our computer system or anything. So I have no information about your account or who you are or what we do.
And I'm like, what the hell do you mean? You're an internet company. You just hear like electricity buckets of water and a fire extinguishers in the background. Their shit was absolutely fucked. And like a technician came to our house later that same day, which won. Best service I've ever gotten was when the cable company was in such a disarray that they were just panic like, you go to this address, you go to this address.
They were like calling each other on every. It was, it was an awesome best service I've ever had. But he literally got here and was like, Hey, I was giving her a dress and I know how to fix cable and internet stuff.
So what do we got going on here? Man, guys are just absolute. That was not why our internet was out. I don't know what happened, but Altifyber was just on fire for a while last week. But what happened in our house was the opposite of fire. There's water in the basement and rather luckily it only affected the internet somehow. But our utility closet is like
one big wall where it's like our huge, our power, circuit breaker panel and our internet and a bunch of other stuff. It's like the hub of the house utility stuff and water got in a window that's right above that and like
trickled like marble run, it's way down through and around the electric stuff without touching anything else and just flooded the modem that provided our internet and literally just like short circuit and fried the board in our modem. Nothing else even got damp. No fucking idea how that happened. Bizarre. And also the solution was it stopped happening. Did you close the window?
No, well, so it stopped happening because I'm stupid, but I was going to see if I could get away with leaving out, but that's a lie. You know how it gets cold outside and water freezes and hoses have water in them? We had a hose on that side of our house. I found this advice online, but it's terrible advice now that I think about it and also that this happened.
That was like, if you, we don't have a way to shut off our hose, hose bibs. Lots of places will have a thing where it's like, you could turn it off and then the hose bibs won't have water in them. So in case they freeze, there won't be water to freeze in them. And so I was like, well,
What can I do if we can't turn the water off to those? And the internet was like, Oh, if you have one, just the one, you know, closest to your water trough valve or whatever on that side of your house, just crack it open. So it's just like dripping. And I was like, Oh, and we have an extension on that one to run it over to the backyard. I'll just leave the hose on it.
And I'll just like, let it drip, right? And the hose will contain that. I'm not even wasting water, but then there's like a pressure outlet for the pipes in the house. It'll be fine. Like the exact opposite of what happens. And I'm not very smart. Anyway, the hose burst and it was pissing water like like a sniper. It was pissing water.
at the joint between where the wood part of the house and the foundation part of the house go. And it was like it was trying to get inside. Literally nothing else even got wet. It was just like and that was making its way into and then dripping down the wall. It could have been way worse, but also I'm fucking stupid and I lose three points for that. Oh, okay. So anyway, my stuff's all fixed now. Your accuracy and self sabotage is impressive.
All right. Any number of things could have gone wrong that we might not have noticed for longer or that might have been much worse. The guy came and plugged a new modem in and had it fixed in half an hour or less, even though he had no idea what my name was or why he was at my house. Was he surprised you're going to get hosed? He really was. He took the modem off the wall and he was like, I've never, I've never seen this happen ever. How'd you do that? Man, listen.
Can you just plug it in and leave and stop asking questions about how stupid I am? He's like, you know what's wrong with this here. Come here. I want to show you. You hear this. I just like holds up a moment. You hear this sound.
No, exactly. Hear this out? That's your problem. Listen, we were due for an upgrade anyway. So he was like, no, this is fine. We would have done and come and upgraded this if you just called anyway, because this was an old one. So now we have symmetrical gigabit internet and he said we could get two gig service on our new modem, which is consumer grade two gig service, which is amazing. That's crazy.
We've not been our collective new houses that long. Why do we have old outdated equipment? I mean, I still had gigabit internet. It just wasn't symmetrical. Mine is too, but I don't have to gig. Well, the rate of technological improvement is only accelerating. So it's like, and the size of the United States doesn't change. So the rollout of anything takes
You know, 10, 20 years, like, especially with like 5G internet and then 60 eventually they're barely even getting to the point where 5G is actually widely available right now. Yeah. 5G is still pretty sparse. So it's slow. Sorry. Cause you guys were like waiting for me for a long time. And I was like, Oh, it's back. Cause I plugged it back in and the internet was like, whoa. And then when I unplugged it again, water dripped out of the power hole. And I was like, Oh, I bet it doesn't work anymore. And I was a whole thing. But.
I'm not weighed. I'm stupid in my own special way. We all are. But listen, Mr. Lee are Fox. I know you're watching. What? I also want good internet. I'll drip. I'll drip right now. Ooh. Apparently, the CEO of Altifyber, I looked it up. Oh, OK. I thought that was something that I had said that you were referencing, and I was concerned that I was turning into Mark. Yeah, you told me last week. Hey. Hey. B. B.
I'm sorry. B comes after. Hey. Yeah. Hey, B. Sadie. Back to you in the studio, Bob. Thanks, Colin. You guys ever just watched clips of Colin mockery doing the intro to the news bit where he always has a funny news headline and it's never business. Always amazing.
I'm Lars, Lars, pants on fires. Today's top story, a man charged with beating a cow to death in a rice patty with two small porcelain figurines. Core reporter said this is the first ever report instance of a knick-knack patty whack. I cannot believe you remembered that. That was a perfect delivery. That's one of my fucking favorite ones ever. So good. So good. So good. Everyone looks at him every time like, where's he going with this?
That one and like the the two times he gets Ryan Styles to just absolutely die of laughter in the bloopers are burned into my memory forever. No, Colin. Backstreet boys. No.
That's wrong. I haven't re-watched in ages and you guys are going to make me re-watch. I am watching Twin Peaks right now though. I've been on the news the newer season? No, no, don't spoil anything at all. I've never seen it. We're going back to the beginning. I think there's at least two peaks, Mark.
I've not finished them, but there's, Molly, I didn't watch the movie, apparently there's a movie, but we watched the original series and we just started the newer one or whatever. But I'm curious, whenever you, whenever you finish it, I'm curious what you'll think. I like it so far. I mean, we started because David Lynch passed away. Yeah. And we watched Mulholland Drive, Mulholland Drive, which by many accounts is like list is one of the top 10 best movies of all times. That's a trip of a movie, a very, very
Weird, but intentionally so apparently and it's worth a watch because it just kind of like sticks with the afterwards. You go like, wait, huh? How far into Twin Peaks are you only like three episodes in? Okay, gotcha. Yeah, very early into it. Cool. I'm not watching that word drive. Yep.
Um, my topic, it's very original. It's been almost two entire pages in my score sheet since we did this topic. So you might not even remember what we talked about, but that was still since I won last and it's been a while. Do better. I'm not done talking about this and I don't want to talk about sandwiches this time because that was a whole rabbit hole, but we're doing order matters. Part two.
I want to get back into this. Is this the sandwich thing in the cereal thing? Because yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Words you. This is dangerous waters here that you're treading into. I will say the reason I was going to let this simmer. This was on my list, but I saw. Have you guys seen how to make a sandwich and a half? Have you seen this person makes a they're like, I want I want more than one grilled cheese sandwich, but I don't want two grilled cheese sandwiches.
So they take three pieces of bread and they like glue them together in like a smooshed bread triangle and then they grill each side separately.
And I think I think it's online. It's referred to as a grilled threes or something like that. Oh, no, I saw this and I can't get it out of my head. And I was like, we talked about sandwiches and that thing. And then now we're doing this. I get a person who tweets at me once a day every night and says bald. I've had this for years. Now I've got a person who comes to my stream every stream and is like, have you tried the grilled PB and J yet?
The building blocks of just annoyance I'm getting over time are growing. I'm not ready for this to happen again. It's fine. It's fine. I don't think anything we're going to talk about today is going to cause that kind of issue.
And some of you have listeners out there who are like, wait, I can't believe you make PB and James with two knives. I was like, that's not me. I'm not the two knife guy. I'm a spoon and a knife. I can't be more clear about this. It's spoon and knife, but we're not talking about that. We're not getting back into that. I want to start with one that at least two of us, I think will be will have opinions on and wait, you might too. Damn it.
Imagine, Mark, this might be hard for you. You have a new office, you have a new empty desk, you have a new place, and you have to set it up to be your new workspace. How do you set up a new desk? And imagine you own everything that you might want for this.
Maybe you're moving your previous setup to a new place or maybe like you play this out and you have, but you have your computer or computers, you have your monitors, you have whatever accessories your mic or whatever, right? We're setting it up presumably to like make YouTube videos, do this podcast, do all the other sorts of stuff that we do at our desks.
Yeah, wait, I'm not sure you're going to have a strong opinion about this one, but I buy why wouldn't I? I just said I'd do this. I've done this. Your approach is to leave all the tech in boxes and just pile the boxes on your desk and hope it turns into a working pile of technology. There's still strategy to that. Well, anyway, I have opinions about this and I'm curious what you guys think. How do you set up a
the blank canvas that is a brand new desk. I have done this so many times, an unbelievable number of times because when I was editing the movie in Texas, I would have to pick up my entire setup, take it to the post production house, reset it all back up, take it down because it wouldn't let me keep it there. Oh, like every day, take it back home. And then I wanted to work, you know, on the weekends, I would set it all back up again. That's why I had a separate bathtub setup at that time.
Because I wasn't going to because I just I'm in. So the order though, a lot of people might say you disconnect all the cables first. Rookie mistake. Oh, because if you disconnect all the cables, you're going to have a pile of cables and then you'll have to fish out the cables every time you're coming together. You leave the cable connected to the device that it needs to be connected to both connection cables and its power cable. You wrap the device
In its cable, that's how you do the cable management for easy transportation. But the order of operations for doing it is first, I have a laptop. It depends on if you're doing a laptop or desktop. If you have a laptop, desktop, unplug from the laptop, leave everything connected to where it is, and then put your laptop away. If it's a desktop, you can unplug things from the back, start with the power, turn it off, flip the power switch off, take out the power supply, then disconnect everything else.
keep your giant desktop over somewhere else out of the way and then monitors. Monitors are next because they're the most fragile. You don't want to be tired and angry at the end of your organization, then dealing with your monitors. You want to deal with them first when you're fresh and you're careful and not when you're careless at the end of it all because you're like, God, why did I have to do this over and over again? This is so as terrible.
So, and then obviously when you put it, if you got it in a car, you want the monitors first because those monitors are going to go protected in the backseat seat, belt it in if you can do it so that the screen isn't pressing against anything. Nothing can hit them. Once you have that, largely doesn't matter. I mean, computer desktop, even desktop, you put it in there also and protected. But I usually do laptop to move around. So backpack, that's easy.
Then all your hard drive, your mice, your peripherals, that gets wrapped with its own cord and placed in a way, if you have a bag or whatever, that it won't suddenly go together and the cords will magically attach. They will anyway, like half the time, but I appreciate the sentiment. And then assembly is reverse order of what you just did.
I don't fully disagree though I will say I've got a lot more luck than you do with leaving cables plugged in notoriously one cable gets bumped in a way that like ruins the connection I don't know why but like I'll have like a ruined port or something because I can't so I don't do that anymore but uh
I do keep like the cables that are plugged into my devices together versus the cables that are just like spare or going to like, because I've got two computers in my office. I've got the editing computer that Dana uses and I've got my computer. Two other steps that I would add in there, when I'm setting up my desk, I'm a bitch baby and I play scary games. I don't like having door behind me. I need to see door. My escape route, I need that shit. Because otherwise, the entire time I'm recording or playing scary game, I'm like,
Making sure there's nothing behind me. So door, door. In this particular office, I also made sure that I had like the setup I wanted to easily get into my room. I don't know how big all the rooms are you're working with, but like this office is a good size, but I've also got a really big desk and I've got another desk in here. And I wanted to make sure I had room to move in and out without having to squeeze past my last office. I kind of had to squeeze by my desk to get in. It's like, I want space. So I made sure to like lay it out where I had background wall.
that I wanted for whatever background, in this case, in last case, foam and posters. And then I made sure to foam up the one important wall that I never had to do anything at all with the other parts of this room. It's excellent. Otherwise, set up lies. I mean, the order you said Mark was fine. Like I monitors first, like, yeah, that's fair. Monitor is desktop and then all your accessories and whatnot. You kind of squeeze around that, but you may have to make sure your desk, you get your big shit in there first.
It's a square room, so lighting was pretty simple. This one was pretty simple. This was a pretty simple setup, because I kind of got to design the layouts. I had to build this office. It didn't exist prior. So nothing too crazy. I mean, power, I guess. I had to make sure that the power supply, that there is multiple whatever the do to mahikis on your box box. What? Your box box.
Refuses the due to my hickies in your box box. Are you talking about breakers? Yeah. Yeah, I've got two different breakers. I think to my office. Oh, I see box box. So I also I did have to care about where I plugged things in to make sure I was spreading them out decent amount box box.
All right, the only earth shattering there. It's not it. I don't do it particularly well, but every time because I've also moved my office around a fair amount and I have a ton of shit. It was on my desk to do the stuff that we do. And every time I'm like, I'm going to do it better this time. And by 60% of the way through, I'm like, I can't fucking tuck another cable through this stupid fucking channel. And it always just ends up with my desk just being a
of cables. And if I ever need to add anything, I just lay the new cable on top of the raft of old cables. There's definitely some cables in there that are not connected at either end where I like unplugged it. And I was like, well, well, that's not coming out. And I just left it. And it's part of my cable management is I have a hammock of preexisting cables that all new technology can rest in. You use those cables and wrap around the good cables and they'll hold them in place.
I call it cumulative looming. You just keep wrapping things around and it's like a big organic root loom of cable, root of the loom. That's what I call it. That is a better name. Does it have a corn coke cornered their mind?
Yeah, on the tag, there's a cornucopia. Cornucopia? Cornucopia? Yeah, you literally said half the word and gave up. Yeah, but I got stuck on corn in the cob in my brain, and I was like, that's not what I'm trying to picture. Let's have a corn on the cobia. Mark wins, I guess. Hey! No, that's a tie. That's a tie. That's a tie. You both get a point. You both get a point. OK, god damn it. Why did I even get my hopes? Why did I even try to be happy? I mean, you did do most of the groundwork, but like... All right, Mark, it's a groundwork point. Thanks, Wade.
Do I get accessory point? No, you don't get an accessory. Nope. This is one where I feel like Mark's potentially going to get into hot water. No, no, because this is related to one that you did just as wrong as you possibly could, but it's also simple. So maybe it won't be a big deal. Whatever.
How do you make coffee or tea? What order do you do that? There's not complicated. Do you drink black coffee, Mark? So your order is like put coffee in cup? No, I don't. I don't drink black coffee. It depends. It depends on what type of coffee we're talking about. Are we talking about drip coffee? If you're making yourself a coffee at home on a random Thursday morning because you're tired and you're like, guys, get some caffeine.
I'll go first this time since it's my turn. Wait, I'm assuming you make tea for Kamali sometimes or coffee or something. I know you're not a big. I mean, it's pretty teased pretty easy. I guess the last time I made coffee was probably like back when it was probably a kid.
And it was the old style, like, I don't know if people still use it, but like the actual like Folgers 10 where you take a scoop, put it in the coffee filter, slide it in, press the button and it would brew into the pot. Then you had to throw away the old nasty filter with the wet mass of shit. Yes. Trip coffee filters do still exist. I was also the person who didn't even like the smell of coffee. So yeah, I've
Boo, boo, me. Oh, you didn't like the smell? It smells so good. When I think so, OK, side tangent, distracted, tractable. To me, the cool thing about coffee was that the Folgers tens, if you took a knife and you stabbed the lid, you had a perfect little cage to catch a frog for a couple hours. So when I think of like Folgers tens, I think the weird smell of like a frog with coffee beans around it, that hybrid smell of animal beans.
So that's what my brain goes to. Do you think that frog in there was just? They absorb hydration through their skin, right? So their skin is like permeable probably tripping balls in that coffee can. But tea, I mean, we have a tea kettle, so you just fill up the tea kettle, you heat it up, put it in a cup, and then you put the tea bag in, let it stew or the steeple, steeple, that the word steep.
Yeah, you put it in the staple. This is the coffee. This is the staple. Open the door and you see all the people. That wasn't that funny. Sorry. Take out the tea bag. Stir it up. I always stir it up anyway. But you take out the tea bag and I had like a little bit of honey. Stir it up. That's it. It's pretty. All right. Mark, do something unhinged.
grounds in the cup first. Give me something. Come on. He buys the whole beans and he grinds them in his teeth. They call it the Belgian press. I got, I got a thing that's just going to make every barista cringe who's ever pulled a shot of espresso before. So we've had an espresso machine and we've had it forever, forever. We've had it for seven years, not forever. That's actually very far from forever.
Uh, it's been a workhorse. I forget what the brand name, but it's like, I think Breville. That's a big brand name for coffee stuff. Yeah. So it's a single shot or it's a double shot espresso maker. You, you do one at a time. It's only got one to show you a pressure meter at the front at first. I hated it because when I first use it, I didn't seal it properly and coffee went like a line on the wall. It was, uh, it was scary. And then I was like, never again. And then I went back to it. I'm like, this makes really good coffee. All right. I'll try it some more.
But to clean the beans out, all right.
I know you're not supposed to put them in the sink. You're not. Coffee grounds are not supposed to go in the sink. You're not supposed to. But sometimes when I smack it on the trash can, it doesn't all come out. So I take the rest of it, which is like half a shot's worth of her. And then I just run into the sink and I take my finger and I go, and then I shake my finger off and I get some more coffee grounds. And I know that's probably not procedure. If I was in Starbucks, everyone would have my finger in their coffee, but it's my coffee maker.
I'm not making it for everyone else. I hope someone clips that little section of you going, I put my finger in a go. I want that. I was about to say I don't do that for everyone else, but I remember that I do sometimes make coffee together and I do the same thing.
Cream or sugar both please shove your hand in and swirl it You know and then I pop the filter out cuz it's like a little basket filter I flip it over cuz sometimes there's gunk there I rub my thumb over that one under the water and no soap or nothing I don't want soap in my coffee. You gotta keep it seasoned Shake slap go right in don't even dry it. I don't need to dry it
It's gonna be wet again anyway. Why would I dry it? That's what I say about me when I get out of the shower. I'm gonna be wet again one day anyway. Just toss on the clothes while I'm stopping. Anyway, I look for a cup. Realize I don't have a cup. Look around for a cup. Walk away. Forget that I was gonna make coffee. Come back. Oh yeah, I need a cup. Look in the drawer of cups where there's no cups. Go fuck, no cups. Go wash a cup. Actually, no, I go to my office. I pick up the various, the various use the coffee.
Are you still holding Amy's cup hostage? No. Yeah, I don't have a month later. Amy's cup still on the desk. They take my cups back all at a big bundle to the sink. And I'm like, well, I don't want to wash them. I'll just let them soak, put some soap in there. I try not to breathe in the mold spores that go poof.
Your coffee comes to the ground zero for last of us. The, the clean air is over here. The clean air. You just like, I can't, I cannot explain how this is not an exaggeration of anything I do. I let it soak and go back to the coffee machine and go, I'm about to take it out. Cause I'm like, ah, man, I don't have a clean, I'm going to make some coffee and I look at it and I'm like, oh yeah, wait, it's going to make coffee. Seal it back in there.
Take one of my shitty cups, clean it out, put it under there, pull a shot of espresso, then cream and extra hot water. It's got a nice hot water dispenser there on the side. And then I don't clean it after I'm done. I let that bad boy sit in there until the next day. Question for you. So when you put the cups in the sink, you're worried about spores of horrible shit, right? Sure. Yeah.
Wouldn't you be worried about the spores of horrible shit right in front of you on your desk as it is? They're not disturbed in his office. Yeah, as soon as I put water in, they go. Oh, gotcha. Okay. So that's the order. You know what, Mark, for your honesty, you're going to get the point on that one.
I know that that's true because I've seen other parts of your life that function in that exact same pattern. And I just know that that is a hundred percent accurate to how coffee functions for you in your world. I know that that's true. Also, I'm a little concerned you're going to die of a fungal infection at some point, but I know ID ID scale that once once once every seven years is probably factory, right?
Yep. And the filter gets replaced once every time I remember. I just said a reminder in my phone, man. That's how I find I replaced my French water filters. You could just put a reminder in your calendar and your phone. Yeah. And then it goes off and I'm in the middle of something else. And I'm like, later and then I click it and it marks it as completed. And then it goes away forever. And I'm like, well, I'll remember that at some point in three months, probably.
You know what? Can't argue with that. You know, you know, the other strategy I tried for this is so, so the things that are hard, you're supposed to change the filter on your HVAC system, like every three months or something, you're supposed to change the water filter. If you have a water in your fridge or an ice maker or whatever, phone reminders didn't work for me.
And I was like, you know what? But part of the problem is every time it comes up, I'm like, oh, it's time to change the filter. Oh, fuck. We don't have one. So I have to like go get one or order one or something. And I was like, I know what I'll do on Amazon. I'll just schedule it so that every correct amount of time Amazon delivers one and it shows up and I'll just go put that in its place. And that'll remind me the first time it happened, like the filter for the furnace showed up. And I was like, I'm not doing that right now.
And I stuck it in a closet. And I forgot it existed. And then I got another one. Like a whole month later. I was like, Oh, no, I never changed the filter. And I got wet and got one. And I got home. I was like, Oh, wait, fuck. And I found the other one in the closet. So now we have a spare.
And I'll definitely remember to change it. You changed it, though, this time, right? You were like, I'll do that later and shove it next to the other one. I put them both in the closet because they're like, oh, this is embarrassing. Left those for another few months. When got enough. I said they were like a TikTok or something. It was like, go to the store. Buy a bottle of hoisin sauce. Get home from the store. I already had a bottle of hoisin sauce. Go to the store. Like I applaud your honesty, Mark. Good job. Thank you.
All right. This is one that I feel like is another one. I got this one. Wait is not unfairly weighted against you. Wait. I believe you. I do. But this is what I feel like I might be the only one with strong feelings about. So I'm just curious. You just pulled the tab on your brand new cellular device. Your previous phone is old and dying or got dropped out of a moving car or whatever. And you bought a new one because it was time anyway.
In what order do you set up your new phone device? Both of them are basically the same. You have to like log into your account and it starts doing things for you. But there still is like an order of stuff you have to do, right? How do you attack that? I can go Mark, but it's your turn if you want to go for.
I'm not gonna lie. I was in a different universe for a second there. I didn't hear a word you said, Bob, and I was looking right at you. The sport creature inside of his brain was speaking. My brain was like halfway through that. I was in a different way. I was like, Oh, man, thank goodness. It's Wade's turn because I wasn't catching any of this.
I'll play this off really smoothly. And don't worry, I'll just pick it up when I figure out what he's talking about and then say something associate. Yeah, perfect strategy mark. No one will ever know that you weren't paying attention. I could go first if you'd like, but I wouldn't want you to admit you were listening.
something I wasn't listening that that'll happen. Sometimes it's just like, I think ADHD thing. It's just like, I'll be, I'll be there present. Just not here all up in here, just nonexistent to the world. What did you say at all? This is a tangent. I'll tell you in a second, you know, where that really gets me school and stuff was hit and miss when teachers are lecturing and whatever. But when you're on the phone with like customer service and they're, you're like running through the mundane stuff and they're like,
Uh huh. And what's your name? Uh huh. And what's the address for that? When you're having that interaction, there's something about that, that like it's physically impossible for my brain to stick with and follow. And every time I'm in that customer service sequence of like giving them info and they're, they're using that voice, there'll be a moment where they're like, mm hmm. Okay. And, and what's your date of birth? And I'll just be like,
What, sorry, what was that? And then my date of birth, I'll be like, broo.
It's like too awkward for a touch to log and they think I'm completely insane. But but anyway, you've got a new cell phone. I did hear this. You were there. I was here. How do you attack setting that bad boy up? Assuming you've got you signed into Apple or you signed into Google Play or whatever. And the phone is like, it's alive. What do you do? You do you have a strategy? Do you not give a shit? You just start doing whatever you needed to do with your phone texting people?
It's nowadays. I mean, I haven't updated my phone in two years, but I used to do it every release. And it was always backed up because it just was back up and then it would restore and I would. But you have to like log into stuff and like set things up, don't you? No, not usually. If you have if you have like two factor, I feel like you have to re log in anyway, even if it is.
Oh, right. For like the authentication codes and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, you have to re-log into those. But for the most part, yeah, I keep, I keep, I keep it all, carry it over. I don't know. I get the excitement, I'll like, your new thing, new thing, new thing. And then I fired up, I'm like, ah, it looks the same.
That's fair. That's fair. I can't. And then I put it down. I'm like, it's my phone now. And I go, I'm going to protect it this time or I'm going to wear it without a I'm going to use no protection. All right. Now I have no case.
Anyway, I, I maybe I didn't pay attention because I was just like, man, I don't really have an opinion. Yeah. You're allowed to not have an appeal. Like I said, this is a thing. I'm an erotic about this sort of stuff. I think I've told the story I'd hear before. It's not a great story, but the first smartphone I ever opened was a T-Mobile G1, which was like the first production Android phone. I had a full on panic attack because I got it. My parents surprised me with it as like a gift and I didn't think I was going to get it. And I literally in the car on the way to my birthday lunch with my parents, I was just sitting there staring at it just like,
I felt like I was gonna pass out for like half an hour. You're allowed to not have strong feelings. Wait. I'm the person who I opened up the phone, right? You pull it out and I immediately, before I even mess with setting up the phone, I've got the screen protector and the case going on. I do all the steps of cleaning the screen, everything else, and I get the screen protector because I had a phone a few years ago where I didn't do it right away. And somehow, despite following all the directions to a tee of making sure I put the screen protector on,
one single tiny little dust pair or whatever was like a dead center under the screen protector. And that bump drove me crazy the whole time I owned the phone. You know, you can try this again. I mean, you have to get another one, but like you could. I bought the one already attached it. It's there. Got it. Then I turn the phone on. I do all the setup. Get to the point where I'm at like the screen where it's like, hello. And then like, you know, you have all your apps. Got my phone. Okay.
If an app, if I need to log into an app, I'll deal with that when I come to it. I'm not clicking on all those fucking things to figure out what I got to sign into and what I don't. That's future Wade's problem. Phone's on. That is actually very similar to what I do. Yeah. Those are great. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm a weirdo and that's not unexpected.
But I, I have a whole routine. I love, I love a vanilla phone. I tell Apple not to install shit so that I can have a phone that's just like factory, nothing installed, wistfully thumb through all the settings and see if there's any different, the minute OS changes that come with the new, whatever. It's like an experience for me, but I think I might be special. I think Wade wins that point for having very slightly more of a opinion on it than market. That's fair. That's fair. You're both like normal people. So that's fair.
This will be the last one. We're all guys here, right? So there's no shame in admitting if you do or do not do part of this one. IKEA furniture, we're all familiar with or whatever, flat pack furniture. You have an unopened box of thing, bookshelf, whatever. It's a piece of furniture. What is your strategy of attack for getting that bad boy set up?
Okay, so it's me first this time, right? And you have no assistance because that's cheating. It's just you in a room and you just really need a flurm to finish your setup or whatever. I got clocking. I did this somewhat recently with just like a shoe rack, like a wooden shoe rack, but you know, I've done bookcases and furniture and stuff in the past.
Unlike what I do with most things I order after the box has been sitting there a while and Molly says, hey, really need you to set that thing up today. I finally open the box, which is something I usually don't do, but I open the box and then I actually carefully pull out the wooden pieces because typically with Ikea furniture, I don't know if you can put together a piece that's not like this, but also wood is usually like that. It looks nice on the outside by the inside. It's a bunch of like garbled up hamster bedding bullshit.
It's like fiberboard or whatever compressed wood chip stuff. Sure. Yeah. So you do not want to scratch that shit up because once you do it's exposed. So I carefully remove the boards. I make sure they're all in decent shape ish and I lay them either on carpet or a lot of times I'll have like that plastic wrapping whatever in there and I'll spread that out and lay it on there. So that way it's not like on a hard surface. I do not go through and make sure all the pieces are there. That's a future way problem.
I get the crucial first steps out there. I'm like, all right. I've got board marked A. I've got this thing marked B. They go together with these three screws marked whatever. So you're saying you do like find the instructions though, and you go straight to instructions. I
I skip the, make sure you have all this stuff page and I go straight to step one. And then I'm like, what the fuck is born? Hey, how is it different than board B? And then I begrudgingly go back to the page that shows you all the pieces to see what the difference is like, Oh, I'm going to shake my fist. Go back to step one without looking at the other pieces. So I'll be mad and have to go back to it later and then assemble. Pretty sane and rational arc.
I have a compulsion whenever I have any kind of furniture or things that requires parts or what have you. It doesn't matter what I'm assembling because I did the same thing with my computer that I the multiple computers I just built. And also my surfers. Oh, man.
I will rip open the all the bags with all the tiny little parts in them first. And you'd think that I would place them in an order, but no, I plop them on the ground in a pile because I don't know why I have to get all the parts out of the bag. I feel like I'm rescuing it from suffocating.
I'm the exact opposite. I get out the bare minimum of what I need and everything else stays mixed up in the jumbled mess. Why the single pile? I just have to have it all out because I'm like, I gotta have it ready to access. Other than that, it's less insane, I think, except I usually will try to treat it like a test and the instructions is an answer sheet.
That's what I was expecting, yeah. What do you mean that's what I was expecting? Not from you, just in general, from us. Okay, yeah. So I will look at it all, be like, if I went to engineering school, I can figure this out, and I'll put something together, and then I will just...
Like, I'll do that and if it went together, I'll be like, okay, check instructions. Yep. Or I'll check instructions and it's a fun surprise when I go like, nope. Why do they fit together? Well, that's, that's probably fine.
I did that with my motherboard where I put, I put a thing in the, it's like a cooler, you have to put it in the back and then, and attach it at the front. And it fit together perfectly. And then I looked at the instructions, I was like, this is specifically for AMD CPUs to do in this configuration. And I looked at it around my Intel CPU and I go like, well, it works.
Yeah. And then for, I haven't assembled anything Ikea for a while, but it's usually like that because I look at it and it is. It's like a to one and I'm like, okay. And they usually have the same kind of parts and they're all very uniform except the screws are all very different, but dowel rods and those twisty doohickies, they all are basically the same. So I'm like, I know what this looked like in the store. I just got to put it together like it was as I remember in my mind.
See, I don't think that way. I see the pieces and I'm like, I don't even know what I'm building. Is this a bookshelf or a couch? I don't know. I don't remember what I bought. I don't know. It's just like, if I guess at this, it's going to take more time because I will undoubtedly be wrong direction, save me time back to couch video game somewhere, food somewhere else somewhere not here, speed, run it. I don't care about the adventure. I'm with the destination. I try to be fast. It just doesn't work.
The real bookshelf was the bookshelf you had at the end of following the instructions very efficiently. The worst or whenever they give you the ones where it's like the thing technically fits and you can turn it like a quarter inch and you keep having to do that because there's no space to get your hand in or whatever and it's like, why is this the step at this point? Could they have done this better? That's the thing I get pulled into. I'm very much on Team Mark and I never thought about it as a test, but that's exactly it.
I don't I don't not use the instructions, but it's like offensive to my sensibilities if I have to use them too much. But the other thing I do is I can't stand when it's like you have to turn something with a hex and it turn you're like.
Oh, yeah. I get sidetracked and obsessed. I'll be like, I think I have like an extension, like a drill with like an extension and then like a thing. And then I can put a hex bit into that. And I think if I get that at the right angle, then I can just eat and put, but I spent 45 minutes looking for tools and shit and digging through the garage when it would have taken me 90 extra seconds to just tighten the little screw one half turn at a time or whatever.
when I'm when I was building my server stuff. Well, number one, you shouldn't do that by yourself as I've been told many times, especially loading it in there. But they have servers have rails that you put into a server rack. And I was pretty confident that I knew how those go together. Almost killed myself.
I almost lost an eight GPU server just because I, I guessed wrong at how they go out. See, I fully extended the arms out and then tried to slot it in when in reality, you don't need to do that. They can just be like a little bit out so that they're, they're off of the thing and then you can slide it in. When it was fully out and it's meant to hold the weight, but only after it's been in there. So I, I push it out and it's like 150 pounds and I'm like extending my arms out.
And the rails go. And they bend and then the thing is falling because I trusted it. And then I catch it up. And I have to like pinch it with my fingers as hard as I can while while pulling my back backwards to leverage it forward and then landed on my feet. I think I've told you about that. I didn't tell you exactly the circumstances that it occurred. And then I feel my back go. And I feel my feet go. Oh, then I.
But I saved it. It still works. Yeah, I think that's how you're supposed to lift heavy things. Wrench your back in a jerky, twisting motion. I really did. I used my hips as a fulcrum and my back as a cantilever and I physics was on my side. Sorry, but I think weight has to get the point on that one for actually building things the way they're supposed to be built. I completely forgot already what we'd done. Yes, building the furniture.
I mean, yours, yours is the more boring answer. And I don't, I don't identify with it, but in a world where you have a box and what you want as a piece of furniture, I think your way might be the correct way. Cause I, there's even the smallest Ikea shit. I was building these things the other day for Mandy. She has a, well, those cubes, storage things. And I was just building inserts for those. There's just like drawers that you put in. There were like 12 screws total. Like it was tiny little thing, but I had to put drawers together. And, and by that I got, when I started, I was very carefully like happy.
the thing. By the time I get to the last one, even on something as simple as that, it's like, yeah, just fucking. Why isn't this? And you just start screwing shit in and just check the instructions really.
I did all of them in the wrong order. It was part of the problem because I was like, I see how this works. And it turns out you were supposed to not. I was trying to slide them all in as one unit and then I designed to work that way, which they thought about and wrote down. Nice instructions make things so simple. When I get shit instructions, you guys have the improbability there with the building. If my instructions are unclear, dude, I'm like, I don't know, a flame creature who just crash landed in the ocean. I'm just like flailing about like,
Don't ever buy shit from like team you or whatever because the instructions will be pile of parts picture of a screwdriver entire bookshelf I've yes, that's happened and I am totally I go on the internet to scour for help I'm like I can't possibly build a square box with four boards help me
This piece is bottom this he says top where the fuck do these pieces go which side goes to top anyway point for Wade and That was the last one. I feel like it was less controversial today, but I think people will have maybe opinions, but maybe not judgments, but we'll see I'm curious last time it was quite the fire starter in the subreddit and
How many people have to wear gas masks to clean their coffee cups? I am curious. I only have to wear a 95, so. Usually you do, you buy a hazmat suit, you grab the coffee cup, you realize you don't have the hazmat suit, you set it down and you wait. And then you get the hazmat suit and you put in a closet because you're gonna do that later. Next to your filter, next to your furnace filters. This is a closet full of shit you haven't done. In no particular order, Mark, you earned points for... Uh-huh. Trapped in time dilation.
D2 Steel. Wow, I feel something and a drawing of a penis, silver rug pull, twin peaks, desk, oh, desk setup, groundwork, and concerning coffee routine. Wave, you earned points for 13 books, real books, whatever.
Groundhog Day, shave it. You're your B when I was all, hey, and you were all B. Back to you in the studio, Bob. You at the tie point for the desk. Distractable point, a paying attention point, a slightly more safe point, and a building things the right way point. I lost three points. I don't even remember why, but I deserved it. But you punish yourself for something, yeah. Your water thing. I think you because of your hose.
Yeah, cuz I'm stupid and I flooded my own basement in that one tiny little whatever that means today's winner with ten points is weighed oh
Where are you disappointed? I'm the one who should be disappointed. Well, I just, I was on a good streak and I was like, well, Bob went all of last year without giving a loser's speech. Maybe I can go all this year without giving a winner's speech, but it's over so quickly, so. Oh, you know what? I'll help you out, buddy. Wade, you win. Mark, you give his winner's speech. Now?
Oh, you want a second? Here, I know you weren't paying attention. Mark, you lose weight. Give his loser speech. I wasn't listening, but I'm incredibly disappointed. I feel like this was completely unfair, and I should have won. But you did win. I heart lenses. I'm going to have some I heart lenses shirts.
Render Farm, yay? Don't do what I do. Markiplier, out. Oh my god. Wait, I said Wade was supposed to give Mark's speech. What was that? That was me giving Mark's speech. Because it sounded just like him. Yeah, because it was so good. I get it now. Mark, are you prepared to win her speech for Wade? I George Wade Barnes.
To hereby accept this gracious, prestigious award. But I can't accept it. It's beneath me to let awards and ego get in the way of my victory. Therefore I, George Wade Barnes, forfeit this competition.
in the advent of fairness and understanding, and I will roo-step aside for my competitor, Mark Edward Fishbock, also known as Markiplier, as the winner. Wow. That's big of you, Wade. What can he say? Did it work? All right, I'm writing down right now, so it must be true. Somehow Mark wins anyway.
My street continues of both things this year. Excellent job, Wade. And congratulations to our winner by Gracious Forefit Mark. What a brilliant maneuver. I was sort of, I couldn't believe you didn't have any shenanigans, Wade. I said I teed it up for you guys. I was so excited to say Markiplier out. I cleverly didn't pay attention, which got me the second spot. Because if I had tried that in the first spot, it wouldn't have worked.
But my genius subconscious pulled my conscience, a consciousness away for that moment to get me the win. All the ruse, Mark just pretends like he never pays attention and then sometimes just takes advantage of the situation.
I can't even be mad, it was well played.
But then you'll know for sure. And yeah, next time Mark hosts and wait, maybe four fits and I win. Bye everybody. Podcast out.
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