New Year, Old Us

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, magnifying mark gets homesick from Whomville, gains flatulence, then reflects on a year of humanity. Broad-minded Bob is haunted by sticks, didn't pump weights, and bought a bad fridge and sucky Subaru. When same way he gets the cookies, lost chainsaw action, and fixates on farming syrup, from cranking hard to firm friendship.

It's time for New Year Old Us. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hi, welcome back to Distractable, the show where we do a professional quality opening every single time, because Baltimore is here. And thank goodness he is, because otherwise we would not be able to have any kind of cohesion or professionalism. But speaking of cohesion and professionalism, I'm here hosting me, Markiplier, that guy from the famous podcast, Powerwash Pals. Hey, and I'm not known for distract.

Don't leave Tyler out. Who? I'm the fourth most popular co-host of Go, my favorite sports team, you know. I'm judging this podcast, which is distractable, if you forgot, where I will set up a, oh man, I got to write stuff down, don't I? Oh, one of these laws. Where's your remarkable tablet? It's in the other room and I'm too lazy to get up and go get it.

So it's the end of an era. 2024 is coming to an end. It was a year. That's about the most I can give 2024. It was a whole year. It was a pretty up and down year. But before we get into the broader strokes of the year as a whole, how is your day or recent week or recent life as a you guys? Really funny today. James met Santa today. He did this last year, but he did not remember.

And he was, he was kind of scared of Santa last year, which is pretty common for little kids. He was two years old this year and we took him to meet Santa and we were like standing outside of Santa's area and it's like a hole. There's Christmas trees all around and it's decorated. We're standing outside and he's all Santa. Oh, oh, oh, Christmas tree, Christmas tree. He would not shut up, but he's very, he's in a stage right now where he's super chatty. It's adorable.

And then it was like our turn and we go through the line and we walk in and like he stands at the entry and we're like, it's Santa James, go meet Santa and he does that kid thing where he's like.

Like two inches at a time, wouldn't say a damn word. Walked up to the guy, he was a great Santa. The guy who was doing it, I mean, Santa was great and he was like chatting and asking him questions. He had a zebra with him because he wouldn't put the zebra down today. He's like, oh, you have a zebra. I love zebras. Maybe you could help me take care of my reindeer. Oh, and James was just like.

And then it was time for the picture and we were like, go hug Santa. And he like did that thing where he didn't move his body, but he leaned in slightly closer to imply that he was like, hug. It was really cute. The pictures turned out pretty cute, but he was just gets his youth met. You both have met him. He's not particularly shy in general, but when he meets like people in costumes or strangers, he doesn't know who are, you know, but he knows from TV or whatever. It's a weird reaction. I can't tell that's abject horror or he's just like,

It's the celebrity I love from television. It's here. Oh, but it was very cute. And we have pictures source and everybody pictures like a Christmas story whenever you're saying to like kicks the kid down the slide. Shoot your eye out kid. Has he seen that movie yet? No, he has no reason to fear Santa from the media. We've showed him. We did actually show him some of the Santa Claus. So maybe he thinks Santa is Tim Allen and he doesn't like him. It's an entirely reasonable response.

You walk into the North Pole and like, I mean, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Oh, thanks. And then he put his hands out like, all right, I give him back. I was like, oh, uh, it's awkward because I'm not gonna. They're also very good cookies, but no, it was sweet seeing him. I can't believe how vocal he is now because click compared to last time we saw him. Oh, he literally just talks constantly. It's crazy. Well, he was kind of shy around me the first couple of times. I guess I've seen him a handful of times now, at least, but, uh,

You know, even I feel like the last time we saw him, which maybe was out the dinner or something, but he was a little bit more quiet. But no, he was chatty, just kind of talking to himself, looking around. He said, like, a Presley came out with me, my dog Presley. And he said Presley's name. And I was like, Presley, like prompted. We were like, did he randomly pick anything up and throw it and go, go get it. No, thankfully, we're trying to teach you to play with the dog. And we're like, you take the dog toy, you toss it. You say, go get it. And with Lexi or when there's other dogs in the house, he just with whatever he finds, he's just like,

Go get it. And the dogs are like, what the shit, man? We were outside, and the only thing close to him was a pile of dog poop, so I'm glad he didn't pick anything up to throw it, because it would have been bad for all of us. Oh, he would. Well, I'm glad he didn't steal the cookies back from you. They're very good. They're very good. And he made those. They're delicious.

Yeah, so far, I think I've already had two chocolate chips and two of the pretzels. And we've had the cookies for all of actually like an hour and a half at this point. Yeah, it's only been a little bit. I'm missing out on all the Christmas stuff. Well, you live in the wrong state. You're allowed to live here. I don't know if they'll take me back, guys. I'm too California-ed up. Ohio doesn't like my type. Dude, I got a haircut this week. And the lady was cutting my hair.

was very chatty, of course, politics because I was getting haircuts. So she was talking politics and I was just kind of like, just got my hair. And at some point, she was asking me a question. I was like, yeah, well, we lived in California for a while, but we just moved back and she was kind of like.

You're a California person. Didn't mention anything else about politics. That's for sure. And was not so, I mean, she wasn't mean, but she was not so chatty and nice the rest of the time because she knew the truth about me. So you might be right. You might find it difficult to be here.

They're in such a famous Californian. It is funny when I get questions from family about how the wasteland of California is and how I'm faring in the in the nightmare escape. That is the beautiful weather at the moment. It's a family member is like, yeah, how do you deal with $9 gas? And I'm like, what? You know, I drive an electric car, number one. And number two, that was a transient price increase. This is more expensive, but it's like, I don't know.

When you fill up the old gas tank, Mark, anytime there's a fire, I get so many texts being like, are you OK? And I'm like, Texas or Texas, California is a very big state. Usually the fires aren't in high big population centers. I mean, usually OK. So, but I would like to come back someday. You should. Did you know how I was more like California now than ever before? Where is this going?

Three days ago, there was a magnitude 3.3 earthquake right on the little southern tip of Ohio. Oh, a high doesn't get those. And everybody just filled in their basements and started driving Teslas really fast on the highways. And now we no longer say y'all. We say, dude, I've met one person that actually talks like that and it's Evan.

You mean Evan from the northeastern part of America? Yeah, exactly for my believe main. You mean Evan, bro. No, everyone, everyone in Ohio after the earthquake, when you walk into stores and they were just like, what are you even doing here? Get back on Mulholland and head south till it jumps to you, whatever. Are you from Louisville?

That's very good, guys. I don't think I'm coming back anymore. Dude, you should, it's fun. We have fun here, you know? Maybe I will, depending on how everything in my life turns out. Bad if you don't come back. That's a little thick. That's a little heavy weight. Calm down. I'm not, I'm not wishing it on you. I just know that here is where the good is.

Before we transitioned, I wanted to mention we talked about Baltimore at the beginning. I played the Space Marines 2 game not too long ago, which was really fun. It's a great game. And I was talking about some of the lore and the ones like, oh, doesn't Baltimore do a whole bunch of Warhammer 40K lore? I was like, yeah, yeah, he does. And someone's like, what is Voldemort's Twitch channel? I was like, not sure that's what you're looking for. Everybody calls him Voldemort. I don't know if it's an autocorrect thing or what. Anytime any people, even people who know what they mentioned him on Reddit or whatever that was like,

Oh God, I love Voldemort's openings. He's so funny and witty and British. There's that reminds me of something. My family was in town and I took them to Universal Studios Hollywood. I've never actually been in the park myself, but we went and we're going around there. The strange thing about that place is Universal owns rights to like how the Grinch still Christmas, right? And one of my favorite movies of all time is the Jim Carrey, how the Grinch still Christmas.

on the sign. They had a big Grinch area, but it said, happy HUBILATION. Yeah, HUBILATION. No! It's HUBILATION! What? It's the HUBILATION, isn't it? I thought it was like jubilation, but it's HUBILATION.

And I thought it was Whoville celebration. Is it not the huvelation? I looked at that and I hear the entire movie in my head all the time. And I'm pretty sure I remember the line, huvelation, huvelation. The correct term is huvelation with a B, not huvelation.

According to who this festive celebration is associated with the fictional town of who they'll from Dr. Seuss is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is that the Google AI giving you that answer? This is from spirit Halloween dot com. Okay. Don't you dare question spirit Halloween. I'm questioning it. I don't believe it's hibilation because that doesn't make any sense at all. Yeah, because it's the who jubilation. It's the

Who's jubilating? They're jubilists. It's the who-ville jubilation, maybe. The town doesn't jubil the- the who's jubil. I got a- I got a what? I've watched the Gritsos Christmas like three times already. I got to watch it again with captions because I wanted to a video where I actually recite the entire movie. All in one go, no cuts. Like on a live stream or something. So I need to study out.

I got a lot of it in my head, but I need to get it all in order for practicing because I want to do all the voices and everything in my entire life of watching this movie. I swear every character in the Jim Carrey one says who volatian who volatian. Maybe not. It's been so long since I've seen I could not tell you and these and bees are pretty close. And you also say before this recording to remind you to talk about something.

Cowbell! That was it! Cowbell! So I still, much to my chagrin, and I've talked about endlessly drive my Tesla that I've had for eight years, the giant piece of shit. And that's not just me like hating for hating. No, it's been bad.

It's not really bad. I drove it off the lot as a piece of shit. It's been a piece of shit through every year of its warranty in which it's been in service every single year for many times. Same problem. And they've done full replacements on the suspension three times. And now it is officially out of warranty. So if it happens again, I'm screwed. Anyway, in Tesla, there's a cowbell mode that

is activated by pressing the cruise control four times. And the thing is, if I press it twice and it doesn't activate, I'm going to press it because to activate it, you press it twice, right? I go to click click and it doesn't go. So I go click click again. And then I activated cowbell mode. So for the rest of the fucking drive to Tyler's house,

Wait. So, is it, is it actually the song? Because there's something weird about pressing cruise control multiple times and don't fear the reaper coming on? It is exactly, it was exactly that. It's don't, you know. All the time. What the fuck? Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. It was a whole, I couldn't figure out how to turn off because pressing it four times again only restarts the song.

I'm in the middle of driving on the highway, so I'm just like...

It's over 20 minutes. It's a long song, but even when the song ends, it just loops. It loops after the first few lines, and then Christopher Walken comes out and says, I gotta have more cowbell. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell. And then it goes again.

The whole fucking drive Tesla's have the vibe of like websites in the early 2000s where it's like I'm going to this website because I need to order whatever printer ink and it's just like a printer ink website and you load it up and just like all the small things starts playing and a bunch of clip art is like dancing around the screen and then in the middle it's like yeah click here to buy a printer ink will ship it to you

It's so stupid. It's so stupid. And you know how I turned it off? Because I actually had to, when I got there, I googled it. How the fuck do I turn it off? It's a bunch of people and like, I don't know what the fuck happened. You'd like say something or something? No. The easiest way, besides shutting the car completely down and then turning it back on, is to activate fart mode and press the fart button.

and that will interrupt the cowbell and it will stop playing dude the fart mode is funny though because it'll make different seats in the car fart that's funny i don't think any other car in the world has that kind of fart mode what

Oh, have you never seen fart mode, Wade? No, I don't. I've seen a car with a heated seats once. Oh, yeah, that too. That's not part of the fart mode, though. So in years, is it the right stock that is the the cruise control one or is it the left stock? It's left, left, uh, lower one. Yeah.

We have a model wide. It's the right stock, which the passenger in the car could absolutely reach. So anytime they wanted to, a passenger could just reach over and just go, and then cowbell mode would probably start, I think. And that's fun. At least it was only 20 minutes, but I feel like if I was on a longer drive, I would have pulled over. So maybe it's the worst case to be in, but

bunch of the worst times like you're rushing to the hospital and you actually do it. It's just I bet you can activate fart mode with voice commands though. So if it ever happens again, you just hold the voice command button and it's be like fart mode. And everyone in the car can just be like, what the fuck? What clown car are we in? What the hell? In a funeral procession, you got people in the car morning and you actually activate cowboys. I'm so sorry. Activate fart mode.

Don't tempt Elon, he would put in a voice-activated fart mode. What funny horn noise do you use, Mark? That's the real question. Can you customize the horn? You can change the horn and the, like, lock sound. The walk-away lock sound kind of thing. To any sound you want, you can literally put MB3's in.

Wow, that's great, man. I can't wait for that. So I assume you use a funny novelty sound for those things. Oh, wait, this is what you're missing for not having car just to let you know. Well, at least I know why I can't get one. They're so busy programming useless shit into it that takes the extra time on the production line. Tom talk shit about fart mode. Anyway, that's that update, but not the topic of today's episode.

It's been a year. We have sustained this podcast through thick and thin. If you count three peens in a pod, we've been doing this podcast for, I believe, six years. Is that right? It's talked about establishing it in 2018. So I think at the earliest, it was in 2019.

Okay. So five years, we have been doing this podcast on and off. We don't know when the first date is someone out there probably does, but we do not. But either way, five years of distractible slash three peens in a pod is a long time for anybody to be doing the sustained regular podcast, which oddly enough, we actually have

But this year was especially fun because we had some real bangers of episodes this year. And I do think that a lot of people would agree. There are some of the funniest episodes that we've ever done in this past year, which is shocking because of how little time we actually had to do all this.

And like I went through so many different setups. I was in a bathtub for a little bit. I was on the floor multiple times. I wrote the score in a napkin. We went back to Bob's hot tub and we did a together episode. We talked about buying a movie theater. We I talked about various hyper fixations that changed all through over one of the earliest episodes of this year was actually lens chat with Mark part one.

which was in front of the fireplace at my house, right? Yes. Exactly. Dear Penthouse. Dear Penthouse did happen. Yes. I think people were scarred for life when they heard the last story of that episode, but still extremely funny. The first episode, the first one of weighty's widow philosophy hour was this year. Really? On January 19, 2024, weighty's widow philosophy hour.

We've done a couple of those says we've that's been a recur recur recur recurring. No tier lists. I don't think this year. I don't believe any tier lists. We still have time. I could do a tier list of episodes. I did think about that. I'm scanning over the episode names and I got to say it's not enough for me to remember what happened in most of them. Oh, I remember. Do you? I remember. Yeah. Squid game two. Don't fucking have a clue what happened there. I don't know. I can fly. Oh, um.

There's one called you'll never believe what happened no idea. There's one called mark is a visionary No idea. Oh, I got the vision pro right mid-face Maxing was this year. Oh, yeah Was the distractible mascot this year? Yes, that was this year I believe so we created that mascot I upgraded myself. What is that what happened in the episode tear down these balls?

Wade hosted that one. What, what, Wade, what is that? What was the date on that one? March 11th. Tear down these balls hosted by you, one by me. There's a description that still doesn't make it make sense. No, yeah, this doesn't make sense. You want me to read or you? In a world of surge pricing, beanie babies, Kit Kats and sperm, distractable always prospers. What the fuck does that mean? Tear down these balls. What? What?

I will say one of the funnier ones just because and I didn't even come up with it Lixian sourced all the the sound bites for it was animal noises that was good just for you guys's reactions to the animal noises I fucking love that episode so funny you know back whenever we first started keeping track of points I didn't really mark down words for what each point was for so I don't know which one of these was tear down these balls

You just have a bunch of randomly scribbled points for some of the earlier ones. Yeah. Oh, man, you actually have kept every record of it. I know we're supposed to. I have all of mine are all in one book. So I have every episode I've hosted this season is all in the same one. Damn. I need to do that. February 6th is the very first one that I've got notes for you. Damn. I got to be better about that. Did we start keeping score this year as well? Is that this year?

Yeah, I think so. My first score is Pants Season 4 Episode 5 March 15th is the first one that I have in this book. I don't know if I wrote down a couple earlier ones and other stuff because I got this specifically to do that, obviously. I mean, I used to keep track on like just like a notepad or something that we would delete it. But once we started to have to keep the record or whatever, have it written down, it's always been here. So February 6th is the very first one I've gotten here.

You know what happened in May of this year that I've still not let go of. What's that? Fucking 20 questions and the chapstick debacle. Right. Oh, man. That was in May of this year. That still haunts me. We have to settle that. We have to settle that once and for all, but not today.

I would like to know what happened on this February 6th recording where Mark lost, maybe they're not minuses, but if they are, Mark, you lost like 30 points for Jesus. I got crucified Jesus, lenses, Jesus tragedy, Mark wrecked Jesus.

Plus eight points for repairing things. Interesting. I don't know what happened. Fascinating. Anyway, so the episode, another episode is not win. That is the, the deer penthouse forum. There's a part one and a part two that part one also hilarious. So many, many, many laughs this year. 20 easy questions was this year. What was that wall, guys? Adrian. Oh God. What was the, what was the treaty though? That's the one no one. What's the one? There you go.

Look, I was gonna say Versailles again. Damn it. What was the element? Astonium. That's really close. Astatine. Astatine. Easy questions. Easy questions. Another one. Uh, I honestly don't remember those are the ones I always remember because they're funny and I don't really.

I didn't get any of those. Well, no, I would have gotten the first one, right? Yeah, you got Hadrian. Well, there were 17 other questions. So I can't remember either. Regardless, it's been a banger year for distractible, but I want to know, has it been a banger year for us as people? What have we not done in accordance with our own goals this year? Because I'll tell you guys, I had a lot of goals this year. I thought the movie would be my biggest one spring, right?

I mean if we're if I'm gonna kick it off. I'm gonna kick it off hard because I look everyone listening almost like Like I fucking thought the same thing. Where the fuck is that movie? Yeah, you lost it. Yeah, I can't find a man. It's gone. Well, hopefully someone turns it up and returns it Maybe

That is probably the biggest one that I was like, man, but it's not for lack of trying. I did at least try at that one because I felt like I put in a ton of work into it and I have and I still have work left to do on it. There's still conversation to be added and the sound is being finalized. And so it's still got a little bit to go, but it's mostly there and I'm very proud of what it is. But this battle has been very uphill. The other things that I haven't accomplished this year is I didn't study a bit of Korean.

even a tiny bit of Korean this year, even from your one note card. And not that wasn't for Korean. I wish it was one vocab word would have been an improvement on this year, as opposed to the nothing that I did. And it's a shame because my excuse before was that I had no time. And there were many times of this year where I did not have a single second to spare. But let's be honest, I've been playing a lot of Bellatro.

If those Bellatro cards had Korean on them, like just like just if there was some vocab Bellatro game. Oh, you could set it to Korean. Oh, imagine. Can you do that? No, I just like if you could set it to Korean, that'd be sick. Oh, man. If they could make language learning as fun as that card game, it would be so easy to learn. Wait, wait, what's your highest? What do you know what your highest hand is? No, I think I've only gotten like a couple million.

I don't understand how people get into the 10 exponential power of numbers. My best hand is 35.6 million. 35 million. 35.6 million. How in the? I've been I've put a lot. Wait, have you played this game? I haven't. I do. Don't you'll get you'll get stuck on it. That's the thing is I my best hand is 35.6 million, but my progression is

I'm at like 21% overall progression. I don't I have maybe 20 hours total play in this game because it's on my I got it on my phone and that's the only place I play it and it's like it's awesome. Anyway, I don't know half this is because I'm only 16% and I feel like I've beaten the game a couple times, but then I realize like I see other people that have like.

Like a score of like 3.3 to the power of 3e to the power of 26 or something like that I don't my highest hand is 1.5 million So 1.5 million is my highest and I had some pretty what I felt was pretty good multipliers multiplying the multipliers and I was like, okay, I got I got this. My name is Markiplier. I know how to do multiplier

I got it. And no, no, not at all. I still lose on like round four sometimes to stupid. Dude, it happens. No, it's all. It's all about the draw. Like, I don't know if there's a point where you get to start with more stuff that's more consistent, but it's I you could still lose in the first. Oh, shit. He's in there. All right. Play it. Play it. All right. Maybe not right now, I guess, but he can do what he wants. Anyway, it's an awesome game. It's very fun. I got an ace. Nope. Never mind.

There's a hilarious back and forth that the developer was doing with Peggy, 18, because in Europe, they rated this game Peggy, 18. For gambling? Yeah, apparently. Well, that makes sense because there's so much gambling in it. Oh, yes, so much. I think it's the lusty joker that really got him that one. Not OK, man. It's also a really good football play. Peggy, 18, Peggy, 18, Sandra, 21, 21, huh?

This guy has played football before you can tell. Yeah, you don't know Peggy Sandra 2118. It's also my favorite Bible verse. Are you Peyton Manning? I'm going to gloss over that because we're getting off topic and I'm bringing it back around to regrets because I didn't learn Korean and I didn't, I didn't, I haven't worked out at all.

Although my server building has gotten me a little bit better in shape and weirdly more conditioning, I have not accomplished anything that I really set out to do this year. Are you guys the same? I have a couple regrets here. This is a very adult niche regret of being like your own business owner, but I have meant to all year get health insurance through my business. So that way, like I'm not just paying it all out of my personal pocket every month.

haven't done it. This was the maple syrup, I believe, year where I had to replace the furnace and AC unit because the weird maple syrup smell outside, which I think actually in two days, I'm due to change the furnace filter. Yeah, another adulting fun. That takes like five seconds. I just don't want to do it.

Did I tell you about the water filter snafu? No. So we have filtered water and you have to change out like the filters like a bottle that just like screws in and you're supposed to change it every six months. So I went to change it a month ago right before we had visitors. I mean, like

the day before we had visitors and Molly had just like cleaned up the kitchen. We'd cleaned the house. Everything was like sparkly shiny. I was like, you know what? I'm going to go ahead and change out this water filter to even have fresh water for everyone when they get here. This is going to be great. And I've read the instructions are like, easy to change filter. Don't even need to shut the water off. Just unscrew, pop the new one in, screw it in. You're done. And I was like, how do you filter the water? If it doesn't go into the water, why would you not have to shut the water off? But all right, they say so. I start to unscrew the old.

Water everywhere. Is this the one in your fridge? No, no, it's under the sink. Like we have the kitchen faucet has like another little filtered water faucet. No, you probably should have turned the water off. Yeah. Yeah, I really thought I should have. And you know, under the sink, there's all those little levers that turn off water to different things. Yeah, there's probably like a separate shut off just for that one thing I bet. Well, I panicked that I was like, I don't know which one of these it is. Let me run down and shut off the main water valve.

The main water valve ran back up and guess what there's still water in the pipes after eating

pouring out all over the wood floor. It's all a disaster. Molly's grabbing towels. It's a mess. You know, if you had just screwed that back in, it might have. I tried and even like once, I don't know, once that seal was wet, it was like, Oh, I'm not going back in, bitches. But eventually I turned off, man, once you start flipping those things under the sink, they work a lot quicker than the water main shut off.

Oh, yeah. No, those are that's like it's what they're for, but that cabinet never been cleaner before the good old. I had to have one good water scare this year. I think we replaced toilets this year that might have been last year, but we replaced the toilets again. All the fun house stuff, man. All the fun house stuff. I don't know if those count as regrets, but there's certainly like dings on the fun that this year had. I mean, it sounds like you regret not turning the water off. That's for sure.

I regret not flipping that little handle right away, too. It's really easy. Once the water's off, those filters could not be easier to change out. Yeah. It's like putting a cap on a water bottle. So simple with that. When there's water not pouring out, it's crazy how easy it is to screw that in.

It's totally understandable for me to do this because I've been doing a lot of water cooling and I have made some really stupid boneheaded decisions about the wrong thing to unscrew at the wrong time. The difference is I'm surrounded by very sensitive electronics. Even a drop gets in one of those power supplies is gonna explode. Maybe.

I had something that was not my fault that I didn't realize was an issue because I had one. It was a pre-built like mount for a CPU. So you put it on there. It's cooler with like pre pre piped, you know, tubing to go through so you can just plug it in something. But it had an adapter at the end that I didn't have. So I was just going to cut it off and replace it because I'm like, I was cutting all this tubing. Anyway, I'm like, it looks like high quality tubing, but it still cuts. I didn't realize this thing was pre-filled.

Which to me makes no sense at all so all the sudden I cut it goosh I don't know why it was pressurized, but it was pressurized this stream of viscous green goo that I've never seen in my life like cartoon radioactive material goes

And it's getting everywhere, but thankfully it's going against the wall and not into the server. If I had been pointing that way right into the server, thankfully, right against the wall. So it was like pressurized though, huh? They must, they must like vacuum prime those like pull a vacuum and then just like open a valve and it's all and sucks it in and I probably. Yeah, because it was, it was sealed with like quick release couplings at the end. And I was like, that's cool. But I didn't have the connectors for it, but I have connectors for other ones.

As it's getting all over the wall and it looks like, you know, an alien just like got shot in the green, acidic blood just went against the wall and all over my hand as well, I remember seeing a warning on the box that said, warning contains perchlorate materials. It's hazardous waste. And I'm like, what in this could possibly be hazardous waste? Oh, I bet it's that green stuff.

I found the wallet on my head spinning it out. I already tasted it at that point. So I was like, what is this? My instinct was just aim it in my mouth. So I was all, I have to contain the flow. So I looked up what prochlorates do and prochlorates. They disrupt the function of the thyroid gland by interfering with the iodide uptake and thyroid hormone productions. Well, that's kind of important.

Good thing that's not in your hands. Good thing. So I'll probably be fine. Could you consult anyone or better? Just go wash your hands and just like, ah, I don't know. I don't know what I do. Anyway, this was a few days ago. Hello, boys, the control. I got per colon laid on my hands. Honestly, maybe I should call them because it's probably not great. It doesn't sound like it's completely harmless. It sounds like it could do some stuff.

But then again, I have been very attentive to iodide, and I went on many a ramble about iodide in salt, and now people should have that and not get just any salt that says fuster's talking and iodide necessary nutrient, because it's very good for you and your thyroid uses that. And this is the one thing that stops it.

Mm. I'm just gonna have a bunch of extra. I died in there now. So I've got a prescription to eat as much salt as I want. That's what I hear. Anyway, that's, uh, it might also not be in that fluid because I've never encountered another coolant that has a warning like that on it. So who knows what it is. But anyway, I got green goop everywhere.

Someone came to my chat the other day asking about what was it, the, the sugary fruit thing, oobly, owly, weebly. Oobly, weebly fruit. It's so funny because I don't know how many times I said, browsing in there was the actual sugar. And I said the, it's from the oobly fruit. And I was like, yeah, oobly sugar. And I'm like, wow, people really just latch on to one thing more than the other. It's browsing, which is the thing. The oobly is the fruit. I don't need a, I don't have a kilogram. I got it, by the way. Oh, I got it.

Did you did you stab a knife into it when you got there and take your pinky and like

Do you want to see it? Kind of. Yeah, let me go get it. Yeah. All right, handshake. OK, yeah. How can we miss this? He's hosting. I just want to scare him again. The viewers won't find this very entertaining. We could just do nothing. Just be smug. Oh, I agree. Just fake handshake him. Yeah. I think maybe you can be real for it as things go on. You should just randomly just be like, oh, is that one? And I'll just be like, yeah. OK. And then pretend like you're writing something or whatever. Just have an ongoing bit.

Okay, so yeah, my mom had moved it. My mom's over now. So anyway, this is a broad scene, right? Yeah, man, we can see it. Yeah, let me show you. That looks like a thing you should definitely ingest a lot of. I don't know why it wasn't flagged immediately. Just come look out. Man, if you ever want to import a bunch of white powder, apparently, brasings your secret ticket,

Yeah, apparently it was really funny because it came with a material data safety sheet, which if you know is when you have any kind of material usually in a laboratory setting, it has a safety sheet to tell you what to do if something goes wrong. And so this is a sugar and it's like, yeah, use in baking, it's heat safe. And then on the material data sheet, it said, if you get it in your mouth, wash out like as soon as possible contact poison control.

Make sure you have a chemical shower and an eyewa station nearby. I'm really hoping they just copy and pasted the wrong thing. Have you tried any of it yet? I tried it, yes. It is super weird. How do you ingest it without putting it in your mouth?

I think I really do think that was the wrong thing because it said a lot of things that didn't gel with what it was. The even the description of it wasn't right. It was talking about a brown powder. Are you sure you got the right product? Yes, because I tasted it. So I know it's good.

So what's really weird is like it at first, it's super strong because it's a thousand times sweeter than sugar is, but it definitely tastes sweet, but it's a different kind of sweetness, right? And a tiny, tiniest, tiniest little, little itty bitty, like tip of my pinky, dip it in, fills your entire mouth. It feels like every surface in your mouth is suddenly coated in this sweet stuff.

And it's so aggressive that it's not exactly pleasant. And the sweetness lingers in your mouth for like 10 minutes. It is weird. It's super weird. Bob is that one?

Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. Shut up the both of you. The both of you. You're not in charge of any points here. So don't matter. Sure. No matter. New year. New us. New year. New us. It's not in the New Year yet, man. Anyway, so with this, uh, I believe this stuff would work really well with like I want to try to make a lemonade out of it because I believe that if I, I believe it would go well with a tart or sour thing to balance out the tartness and I could use very little of it. You should get a bag of citric acid.

and then come up with a powder to powder ratio and you could just make like eating powder. Maybe would it counter spice like a ghost pepper with two dots of brazine? They would counter it right out. I'm sure. And I actually the fruit one of the first things I said to Amy was it like what if instead of the cinnamon challenge? I did the brazine challenge. I tried to eat a whole spoonful of this without a man. Oh,

No, you mean that stuff that shows up with a don't ingest warning? I think it's a great idea. That was not applicable to this. I don't think that that was related. I'm not sure. Keep that sheet around just in case you end up going to the hospital though. You read the warnings on this, right? Yes. I knew it was wrong. Well, my family was in town. She wanted me to invite friends for dinner. And so I, of course, being the guy that I am said, you want to try some browsing to everyone at the table? And they were like, yeah, we do.

Put powder on a plate and I use a knife to divvy it up. And my cousin comes over, she comes over and she's just looking at the plate like... She doesn't speak English perfectly, so she doesn't know how to ask if we're doing drugs or not. And I don't know how to say what we're doing, so I didn't even bother. Anyway, so everyone tries it and it ruins the meal for everyone because it was right before dinner.

It didn't ruin it entirely, but everything after that tasted sweet, every single thing we, especially the soup. So when I, when I, the rest of the food got okay after a few minutes, but then the soup stayed sweet for me the entire time. Every time I went to, it must have like the powder like was hiding in your mouth and the soup was like dissolving it and finding it in all the little, and your gums and whatever. When they say a thousand times sweeter than sugar, they just mean like,

You only need one one thousandth of this to match the effect of sugar and they are not lying. I don't have a measuring cup like that. When we're talking about that in the context of it's sweet, but it's protein based, right? Yes. Yeah. So it's not actually a good source of protein. It's just interesting that it's not has no glycemic response. Yes, exactly.

Where's my one four thousandth cup of sugar? Yeah. All right. These cookies, cookies because for one cup of sugar. So let's run that conversion. I don't even know if you could. What's one? What's one one thousandth of a cup? A micro teaspoon? I think the imperial system fails at scales like this. Damn it. We should have used Algae kilograms. That's the word Algae kilograms. Yes. Is that what they use? Oh, for in London. Yeah, where the weebly fruit is imported from Africa.

I think it would work well if you mixed it with like a little bit of other artificial sweeteners and then also sugar and like you found a ratio because all of it balances it. I believe it helps balance all those others out. The internet is smart. Convert one cup into milliliters, 236.6 milliliters, approximately one one thousandth of that is 0.236 milliliters.

It doesn't really work for powder measurement, but for a scale reference. That's how much brazine you need for a cup of sugar. That's so small. A cup equals. Oh my. So you were essentially pounding a cup of sugar or more, depending on how much of that stuff you were putting in your mouth. Yeah, I wonder why it tasted so sweet. Anyway, you want to try some? I honestly do, but I don't think the internet is capable of that quite yet.

That's crazy. You only need one green per day and you have a whole bag of it. Yeah. Well, you have like a lifetime supply of that shit now. I was wondering why a kilogram cost $270. It makes a lot of sense. So that's a kilogram. I don't know how dense it is. How many milliliters in a kilogram? Oh, man. It's one liter of water is a one kilogram.

You have 2,365 cups of sugar in that bag? Is that accurate? Wait a second. I just did math in my head. It's probably wrong, but... No, I think you might be right. I think I have a theoretical equivalent of 2,300 cups of sugar. Hey, if we're 200 bucks, that's a deal. That's not bad, man. I'll be pissed if my neighbor comes over and asks for a cup of... I have a cup of browsing. What are you making?

That's my entire warehouse of sugar. World's largest pancakes. I think some people listening to this podcast may hear me talk about some random bullshit and assume that I'm just talking about it in a very theoretical sense. I've gotten everything that I've talked about. I have obtained every single thing that I have mentioned that I am obsessed with. I have a bucket full of Glauber salt. I have a lot of it. It's sitting in a tub outside.

I can't wait to see that that cooling system. I'm ready for it. I have a theory to make it work that would simplify a lot of things. I realize more cowbell God, no, please no, but I have a theory of how it could work. But I won't get into it because I've been yapping way too much for this episode. And you guys, I need to hear your regrets.

Well, Wade was talking. I was trying to think about regrets. I think we talked about New Year's social solutions at the end of last year. And I basically said, I don't do that because I am low. The obvious one for me is I don't think I've worked out maybe five times this year. Probably not enough to see results. What about getting your fridge from a major corporation? I did have to buy a fridge again this year. That was a pretty big failure. I was trying not to do a plot. You did like house and appliance based failures. I was trying to do other stuff.

We're adults here. We're allowed to have adult regrets. All right. This is this is real. And people people have been talking about this since I mentioned it in passing. My car, my Subaru. I feel a little bit like a failure for that. I am selling it. It will be gone soon. It was a good car. And it was like a dream car. And I did all this stuff to it that I wanted to do. I think I'm not as much of a car guy as I thought I was.

I think that's a thing because it wasn't really like a hyper fixation. I always like cars and I still like cars. I still just like go on cars and bids and websites like that and look and be like, oh, there's a there's a 1992 Fox body Mustang. Oh, it's a roller chassis. Just bring your own engine and transmission. I don't know if I can do that. It's hard. It's such a hard hobby.

I'm so used to hobbies being more like computers where it's like huge pain in the ass and you have to learn some stuff to do car shit. You need like, you know, like a big space and also you need to be really willing to call crawl underneath of a thing that weighs several thousand pounds and is probably not going to fall over on the things that you lifted it up and set it on. Jack stands are very safe. It's probably fine, but it doesn't make you feel a little bit like a poser. I talked a lot about cars.

This year, and I talked about that Subaru a lot over the last couple of years. I think my car era is over, guys. I think I'm a fake car guy. It's more like a realization because it wasn't really a resolution that I had, but it was like a failure. It's not, but like it feels like a failure. That qualifies. I think so because you reach the end of the road and you're like, Oh man, I feel like it wasn't as satisfying as it should have been, especially if it was like something you thought about in the long run.

You know what you could be, though, Bob and Mark, you as well. I told Bob this earlier, I got an email from a guy, works in the fossil industry, why hook us up with some really expensive fossils we could buy. I was never in on fossils. That was a you and Mark thing just to be clear. I think when you reach this age, we have a few paths ahead of us that are slowly diminishing. And if car guy isn't your thing, then you've got gun guy and way too political guy.

Those are the only two other options? Those could be the same thing, actually. Those most likely are the same thing. Woodworking guy? Woodworking? You could do woodworking. Can I be golf guy? No. Oh.

You can, but like golf is what you do when you're not doing one of the other things. Wait, we've talked about this. I think I might be a woodworking guy. I have dreams. I'm that guy. Like I have no woodworking skill and a random smattering of tools for things. I have projects I've done one time ever, but I'll look at videos online or someone is like, I built this custom fit cabinet. It fits perfectly in the spot. It's trimmed in and I look and I'm like,

Yeah, I could definitely do that. You could get some two by fours, you build the base, get some nice plywood, you know, some finished plywood, use a little iron on veneer on the edges there. Get some nice. I could do that. Never done it in my entire life. The tooliest tool I own is the cheapest circular saw. I could buy it that loads one time when I needed to build a step in the garage out of like two by fours and two by sixes. But I absolutely could be a woodworking guy.

Maybe that's my new era this year. What if I did that? Do you guys want some woodworking stuff? I would love for you to become a woodworking guy. Jason is big woodworking guy, not my brother, Pam Jason. He's huge into woodworking. He just builds stuff all the time and he has the tools for it and he understands the tools and it's like it combines a lot of different little hobbies and it's like, oh man, that's really cool.

Like he's gonna get a CNC, a wood CNC soon. I got him like a low powered laser, like a laser cutter. It doesn't take any gas, like it's a pure just like electric laser, which you know, has limitations in the amount of power that it can put out. But he was, he can definitely etch into things, burn like designs into wood and cut through some things. And it's like, it's like, he really does make a lot of stuff and it's really cool. I just go to Ryobi days and I look around and I'm like,

buying this tool and then I never use it because I don't have anything to use it for. That's kind of where I'm at right now. This is this is turning on to I don't know if this is a thing I will do it. This is not a defined personality you've said I could have. There's a YouTube channel called Strange Parts who is a guy who lived in China and shopped at the marketplaces for like secondhand iPhone parts and stuff. And he's done a lot of videos about customizing iPhones and things. Recently he released a video, I think it says most recent videos still, he made his own

iPhone, like the entire enclosure, everything except for the screen and the internals out of billet aluminum. He started with a block of aluminum and fully machine, including threaded screw holes and an undercut around the edge of the case fully measured and machined just with his own, you know, measuring techniques and machining. And he had to make like machine fixtures. It's like a little tabletop CNC. So it's not like a machinist or whatever, but it's you did these processes. He built his own fixtures to hold the phone

at very specific angles and it's fascinating. It's a 30-minute-ish video. If that's part of woodworking, I could definitely get into that. And it's well-respected. I think of all the hobbies that you could have. People go like woodworking and they're like, hell yeah, that's awesome. Meanwhile, I got my Glaubber Salt and Servers and people just spit on me as I walk down the street. Dude, people do not respect the Glaubber Salt at all. They don't have all respect the Glaubber Salt.

Co-operative board games, Legos and video games. I am a child. None of those can be your personality. We need some stronger stuff here. I just downloaded Balotro. Okay, alright, Balotro point, you get a redo one. Oh, you can be Balotro guy? I already... I have the highest score here. I am Balotro guy here. You just said I wasn't strong enough of a personality.

I don't realize Bellotra was that I play Bellotra when I'm half asleep on the toilet or when the baby won't sleep and I'm trying to get him to sleep on board because it's middle of the night. Video games, yeah, are not well-respected. There's still people to this day. We've talked about before the Don't Respect video game plan as like an actual hobby. They think we should grow up and do something with our lives like we're working.

They're D&D on every Wednesday video games. I'm living the high life. That's what I'm starting to realize. Weight actually is living such a fulfilling, beautiful life compared to us who are always searching for the next high. You guys are always looking. I'm here, man. You found that Dragon Ball Z got you game six years ago, and he's stuck with it.

I've not played that in, like, two months. What are your current mobile game obsessions, then, other than I assume Balattro? I'm not really doing much on mobile, I'll be honest with you. It's been computer stuff. I've been... Wait, I brought this on us. Never mind. I'm sorry. He's about to say it. He's gonna say it. It's been Diablo 4, Path of Exile. Okay. You know what? You know a weird one? I've done, I've been playing, but I've been watching and learning. Dude, this has helped me go to sleep so quick, but also, like, I actually am interested. Is Farm Simulator 25 videos?

I remember us playing it and I didn't know what the hell it was like, don't you ride the tractor, then it just does stuff. But there's like cedars, there's harvesters, there's cultivators, weeders, when someone knows what they're doing. Oh, it's impressive. It is really, really satisfying.

know what intrusive thought I have about that is I really like the farm sim games. You know that Logitech makes a full desk mount set up where you know how they have like racing wheels right where it's like a steering wheel. They have a setup that's a farming simulator three module set up where it's like the center one is like a steering wheel with some buttons and things. And then there's like a joystick

one for like operating the tools and switching. And then there's another one that's just like a big ass switch panel that's just got like 20 switches on it. And so you could be you would have your whole like tractor cockpit setup. I never would ever buy that. But also every time I see it, especially if it goes on sale, because I get like sale emails and stuff. And it's like, hmm.

It's on sale. Usually costs $350. It's only $300 right now for a game I'll play once a year. But I'll play it right, you know? But man, does that look fun? I'm watching a guy whose name is Syrup play Farm Simulator 25. You watch the e-sports stuff?

I think I've talked about that way a lot of time ago on the show, but do you watch the farm semi sports? Cause it's a whole league. There's a league. It's a whole thing. It's a specific, there's a specific field set up and it's the point is you harvest a field, you bail it and then you put it into your barn as efficiently impossible, but the you, it's, there's a drafting system for the vehicles before the route starts is like a lineup of all the vehicle options. There's only one of each one and teams take turn drafting each vehicle strategically.

Cause they have different strengths. And then there's some kind of system where it's like there's a bridges where you have to go over the bridge to get from your field to your barn to store your bales, but you can make your opponent's bridge raise, which means they have to like take the long way farm sim esports hot stuff.

The one I'm watching this dude's doing like a rags to riches thing where he started with 100,000 and he can only use his own equipment. No land, nothing at the start. He'll kind of do like little musical speedups for some of like the weeding and harvesting. And dude, I'm interested. He's playing. He's like talking about his strategy, what he's going to be buying, how he's spending his money. And then like he'll do the like time lapse of like doing the fields. I go to sleep like a baby. It's like I'm riding that tractor. It's been the cure for my lack of sleep.

And then I wake up all sad because like the last few minutes of the video where he's like doing more stuff like, I gotta rewatch that tomorrow because I slept through it. That is good stuff, but that's not failing. You're just winning too hard. Can I say, man? All I do is win, win, win, no matter what.

All right. Well, speaking of winning, we are coming to the close of this episode. And I don't know if we've really done a full recap of what this year has been, but I will say it's been fun for all the ups and downs and all that we've done and all the random obsessions we've had. I think this podcast is better than ever. And I'm very proud of it. I am surprised this podcast is still fun.

Not in like a pessimistic way of like, Oh, I knew it would suck eventually. But like, we haven't been doing it for a long time. And we've been doing two episodes a week now for quite a long time, almost like a year and a half, almost two years. I thought it would get harder. And it is a lot of time and we have to record a bit to get too out a week. It's still fun though. We still have fun doing it. I am surprised about that. It's a good thing, but it's surprising. Yeah, who knows when next year is going to have? I hope if just a touch on resolutions, I do want to get back into Korean learning.

If Iron Long isn't out next year, I'm gonna take the entire movie, put it on a hard drive, and I'm gonna launch it from a catapult or trebuchet, and I'm gonna shoot it with a cannon. And I'll do that repeatedly until I hit it mid-air. That'd be fun. That'd be fun.

Yeah, then no one will ever get to experience what it is. Just be one private little thing just for you and anyone who worked on it with you. But I will close by saying like there's some very optimistic things about it actually coming out. So I'm very happy and I think it's gonna be really cool. Anyway, any final thoughts you guys before I read the score? I think this was also the year that Shakira was on Jimmy Fallon and had a lie detector test taken, which proved her hips don't lie. That's good. I'll give Shakira a point. Another win. This is about wins, right?

You know what? For you, it is. But that didn't earn you a lot of points. So, I go first. I got a cowbell point, but that's it. Shakira got a truth point. Wade, you got points for a cookie refund. Oh yeah, to give the cookie back to James. I denied. I did not give him what he wanted.

You got a California point Bob before you protest you also got a California point So you both got at the same time why turn water off for the water failure and then I gave you another point for Bellatro But I did realize that Bob has been playing Bellatro more so he got a high score point and I scratched yours out for Bellatro and I guess I just revealed that

How many points you have versus pops? I guess I really spoiled what's going on. Sorry about that. The listener still have no idea. They have no idea. And then you got a he's here point, right? And that sounds ominous, but that's because you're already there. You made it this year. You did what you set out to do. You're still doing it because you set out to do it so long ago and you accomplished all your goals and dreams. You're just coasting now.

You're living the life. You're already here. So you get that point. Bob, you got a silent baby point. You got a California point. You got high score for Bellatro as the resident among us three Bellatro champion. We will reevaluate that with a new year. You didn't work out quite enough. Your car poser, but also I gave you a woodworking point because I have a feeling you're going to fail.

I'm excited to get into that, I guess, and see where that leads. We have no faith in Bob point. No, man. No, it's not like that, man. Why even try, Bob? You've already lost the point. Well, you put it like that. No, actually, you gained the point if you fail, but I'll retroactively take it away next year if you actually succeed. So,

Well, I could just say that I failed. This makes a bad wood stuff, and you'll see. When I throw something in here, I don't care if it's points or not. I just got a message, like a ping from my D&D group, and I was like, I wonder what it is. I don't know what's going on, but there's a conversation. The last sentence is just, man, porn in the 90s was rough.

And I just thought I would share that tidbit of information with you all. I thought you were going to say they kicked you out, because that would be quite the failure. But no, I mean, that sounds accurate. I gotta be honest, not well versed in 90s porn. All right. Well, sorry to all the fans of 90s porn out there. We're shitting on your dreams and your hopes. This was the year we called Bird The Porn Guy, which is a nickname that he still can't get away from.

Well, that's that's lovely. That's fun. We have fun. I do and everyone else's expense. Mm-hmm. We sure do and that everyone else's expense Bob has won the episode with six points. Yes That's all it took I had at least that many you had this many you had four you would have had five with the blotter point But even then you wouldn't know enough so with the commanding two-point lead Bobby take this with a sweep and

Darn, don't celebrate too hard, guys. All right, Jesus Christ. Why would I celebrate? I lost. I was celebrating internally. Wait, please fill the empty space with your regrets about not winning this episode. Really thought I crushed it? Really thought that my Ohio earthquake, downloading Balotro, talking about more house, water, toilet issues. I thought there were so many regrets. My health insurance didn't even make the list of my regrets. Oh, I forgot about that.

That's crazy, but you know, it's all fair and fun here. The wind was stolen, but that's 2024 in a nutshell. I'm winning everywhere except for undistractable. That's my regret being here and losing. I'm giving you the health insurance points, but it still doesn't change the outcome. But it's on the record. Boy, I wish I had kept the record of all the napkin with the hot sauce on it is probably still at that Airbnb. They probably framed it.

I hope so. Probably found it. They were cleaning up, and they found that, and they were like, oh, this would be a piece of history, which is a one can only hope. Bob, you won. Congratulations. How do you feel? I feel like I deserved it. I won because it's been such a hard year filled with so many failures that Mark basically threw me a bone because he felt like if I had one more tragic failure in my life, I might just quit the show entirely and go hide any cave somewhere.

I appreciate that. You were pretty spot out with your assessments, everybody. I really needed this one. Can't wait for the new year, you know? I remember, Bob, you did have a new year's resolution that you failed miserably at. You said that you would not make a loser speech this entire year. Oh, I don't recall making a loser speech. Did you? Did you get away with calling it some surreptitious name? No, I'm sure I did. I just don't recall making a loser speech.

He's won so many times in a row now. According to the thing, I've lost one episode ago. I lost. But I don't remember what I said. So probably I didn't make a loser speech. And that goes for the entire rest of the year as far as I know. Okay retroactively everyone please sign that to be your memory and truth.

Man, have I only hosted three times since early November? I've had a rough end of the year, boys. One, two, three since November 15th. You hosted two in the first half of November, though. You can look forward to hosting the first episode of the new year and kicking us off great and strong with whatever the hell we're going to be doing next year. Who? You. I didn't win. Bob, right. Sorry.

You still have a chance you still have a chance the next episode still unlike New Year's Eve or something We'll see you if you win the next one way you technically oh he left Oh, no, I didn't I thought this was in a years episode. That's why I'm made all about the new years

Uh, it is, but also it is. Alright, we'll leave that enigma up to you guys listening and watching at home. Thank you everybody so much for being here for another year. We got another year distractible coming at you before our tumultuous explosive ending with which we will all walk away and never see each other again. And then we will be replaced by three other younger versions of ourselves who will take on the podcast from here on out. Just like every previous year.

Thank you. Go check out Wade and Bob, Lord, meaning, seven, seven, seven, and my scurm. Thank you. Podcast out.