Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Dori Schifrier. And I'm Elise Hu, and we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums. And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.
But please do remember we are podcast hosts. We are not experts in medical and mental health areas. We're experts and we're not other things. And we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
I have one serum update. I have a D influence from one of our listeners. Yes, because during one of our recent mini apps, somebody called in to recommend the Trader Joe's hair oil said it was really light and not oily and really made their hair soft. And I was really excited about it. So I'm at Trader Joe's this week. And when I find the hair oil, there's actually a hair serum near it.
And I wasn't sure which one I was supposed to purchase because I didn't know whether to take hair oil literally or it was just kind of like some sort of hair treatment, right? And so I took a pic and I put it up on the Patreon and asked the caller, which one it was, and the caller responded to say it is the one that is called hair oil. And then someone else chimed in to be like, do not get the hair serum. It is the worst.
Oh, so just be very careful not to get that is the serum that I'm de-influencing the hair serum at Trader Joe's.
But you didn't actually get the hair serum. You were de-influenced by a listener. Oh, that's right. That's right. I'm just a proxy. I'm the proxy for this post. Got it. I guess we could just try it out. They don't seem too pricey. I want to say they're under $10. So we could do a little experimentation, see what happens. Totally. Totally. Wow. All right. Well, I feel de-influenced.
Well, and while we're on the topic of hair, Dory has changed her hair. Do you have to change my hair? I did post a picture in my Instagram stories. So if anyone follows me on Instagram, they might have seen it. Yeah, I went back to closer to my natural color. I had had like blonde highlights for a while and I enjoyed the blonde.
It was fun. It was like balayage. So it wasn't like, I wasn't like fully blonde. Right. You know, and the nice thing about balayage is it grows out really nicely. So like, I didn't feel like I looked weird or anything, but also I felt like my hair was getting long, like too, like I like long, I'm actually growing my hair out, but it like the ends were feeling unhealthy. And I was just like, I need a haircut. And I, I think I want to go darker. So.
I saw my hair stylist yesterday and she's never cut my hair before. She's only ever done my color. But I was like, I don't have time or energy to be running around anymore to multiple people.
Yeah, I was gonna say, wow, you were going to two separate people. I was going to separate people. Yeah, and I was just like, no. And I love, like, she's great. And we talked about my goals, you know, my hair goals and pictures and pictures.
She's like, okay, we can do it this way or we can do it this way. And I was like, well, what do you think? And she's like, I think we should do this. And you know what I also love about her is I booked Baliaj because that's what I've gotten in the past, but I ended up just doing single process color and she just charged me for the single process color. Like she didn't charge me for what I booked. She was totally cool with that. I didn't even ask. Like she just, that's just what she charged me. And so I was like,
I like you. Yeah. So, yeah. So now I'm just like getting used to my new Raven haired light. Like it's very dark. It is quite dark. She said it would lighten up gradually. But right now it is, it is quite dark. And I haven't had the hair this dark in a really long time. So I'm kind of getting used to it. It looks great. I like it. Thank you. The reception seems positive so far. So just, you know,
I'm just rolling with it. And you know, my soul feels darker these days, so.
felt like my hair needed to match. Right, exactly. We have fewer hours of sun now. This is the time of year that because there's so many fewer hours of sun, if you want to get a laser facial, you're supposed to get laser facials during this time of year when the days are short. It was my hair person that actually reminded me of that because I had asked her, I think, in June, I was like, hey, I want to try
a laser facial or one of the Korean Thermaj knockoffs because Thermaj is so expensive. And she was like, wait, you want to do that in the summer? You can't do that in the summer. And so the other day she was actually at my house. And she was like, did you still want to get that laser facial? So pretty great. What else is happening with you?
Ah, I am going to have to see an orthopedic surgeon about my arm that still won't lift in a T like make that T lift like a T correctly or without pain from the cycling accidents. Yeah, so it but it's very hard to get in with specialists. So even though it's been almost a month now, since we were crashed into by a speeding cyclist,
Oh, I haven't gotten it treated. And then when I try to make an appointment, it takes another two weeks. So I don't think I'm going to get in until like the beginning of December, but hopefully I'll be all right. I decided to do it because Rob went to get his wrist, which was injured in the same incident. He went and got that looked at yesterday and they were like, you're going to need surgery. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.
I really wish we would have gotten that guys. I know I was going to say I'm even more annoyed that that person just regret rode off. You were just you were like in shock. You know what I mean? Like when that kind of stuff happens, it's just like, what is happening?
But yeah, so that's kind of like my big health update. Mentally, I'm just trying to stay even, just talking and venting to a lot of friends. And then I have a really busy day ahead. And I really had the desire to cancel or reschedule my therapist. And.
I decided not to. I was like, you know what, because I just have a bunch of work piling up and things are behind because I was in an all-day meeting yesterday. I was like, oh, this is great. I'll just move Jonathan, my Jungian analyst. And then I was like, you know what? No, I actually need to have this hour for myself.
I haven't even spoken to him post election. And even though the work continues to pile up, I think that it's important that we prioritize our mental health when we can. And I have this privilege of him being my therapist for many years. So I should, yeah, I'm keeping it. I'm keeping my time. Okay. I'm glad you're keeping it. I think that's, I think that's wise. I also have a couple of voicemails that I want to play before the break. All right.
This is going to be a little hokey, but I just wanted to bring a little bit of honor to the thing that is Forever 35 that has been created. Obviously, it's been a recipe for me, for women, for people, for the planet, you know, it's been a little rough. And I don't want to listen to the same daily podcast. It's weird ones that are recorded and they don't know yet, but also I can only
It takes so much of the, like, oh, it's bad. Like, y'all was perfectly timed. And then there were suddenly too many of them. So when I need a podcast and I can't listen to anything, Lisa, I've gone back to the 2018 episodes of Forever 35 and just, like, mentally, I'm like, okay, they're two years in the Trump presidency. Yes, COVID hasn't happened yet, but like, they're still living and like, it sucks and we're doing work, but like, nobody's dead.
Obviously metaphorically, but, well, I feel as if I might have bungled this, so this is awkward, but it was just a cool thing. I'm incredibly high. Okay, the end.
You did not bungle that. It was perfect. It was perfect, in fact. That was just what I needed to hear. I really enjoyed this. I also, I sent it to Kate because I was like, she needs to hear them. I'm sure she loves it. Yeah. But it just, this really brought me joy. So thank you.
2018 was when I first found her y'all and first heard forever 35 because I don't remember how I stumbled upon y'all, but I really enjoyed one of your very, very early episodes. It was an interview with one of my favorite writers, Mary H. K. Choi.
Oh my gosh. It had to have been like one of your first 10 episodes or something. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. It was very early on and I'm like, who are these Dorian Kate?
It was so long ago. Goodness. I had just moved back to America too. So I didn't really know what the podcast scene was here or anything. And it was great. Talked about being in LA. And so then I was like, Oh, yeah. I was like, who are these cool ladies? Yeah. I did think that.
And look at that now. I'm sure you did. Wow, that is very, that is very cool. We got one other voicemail that I just want to play before we take a break. So here we go. This is kind of on the, on the midlife theme. And I just, I just love this so much. Hi, I'm a longtime listener. I guess this is your episode. I think it's 3.28 on midlife. And I had to pause because
Um, I, your conversation about sort of midlife, the question of like, is this all there is? Um, I've been like really, really stuck with me. Um, I am 41 years old and like right before my 41st birthday, I kind of had that moment of like, gosh, is this all there is?
And I decided to do a thing I wanted to do for a million years. And I started writing romance novels, which has just sort of been like a longtime dream of mine. And in the year since, I've written published two novels, written a third.
And I'm in the process of starting the force. And it has brought me not just sort of like personal joy, but it has also just brought me this space that I think I haven't had really since I got married and had kids, this kind of carving out a space that belongs to me. It doesn't belong to my husband. It doesn't belong to my kids. It doesn't belong to my family. It's just mine. And in the process of publishing and marketing the books and everything I have discovered, this huge
very robust online community of indie romance writers and readers. And I feel like at the age of 41 now, almost 42, I feel like I have found my people. It has just been such a kind of unexpected midlife joy. So I guess the point is just to say,
I agree with this wholeheartedly. And in your 40s is the perfect time. I'm going to do the thing that I have always wanted to do. Really answer the question for me of, is this all there is? And for me, the answer is no. This huge, beautiful world out there full of friends and people and a tribe. I really didn't know I needed it. So I guess this is just a little push or encouragement for anybody who's wondering if they should do the thing.
in your 40s to absolutely do the thing. Do the thing. How great is that? Yes. How great is that? That feels awesome. That feels awesome. Now I want to know who this author is so that we can find out about her books. We could do a shout-out for the books. She just left a voicemail, so I don't even have her name. It's a mystery. It's a mystery.
Yeah. All right. We are going to take a break. And actually, you know, this does bring up an interesting point. Like if you are doing something new in midlife, we'd love to hear about it. Yes. Call in. Call in. All right. We will be right back. We'll be right back.
All right, we're back. And we had asked people last week or the week before about holiday traditions because someone had written in about how they were going to be just with their family on Thanksgiving. And we're kind of like wondering what to do. So we got this lovely series of texts from a listener who said, I'm responding to your episode.
About holiday traditions, we aren't religious, but I wanted to use the holiday season to focus on kindness and little things we can do that are slash were approachable and not huge commitments. When my kids were little, I found this house. I think it Michaels that we call the kindness house.
Every year, I feel each day with a folded up piece of paper and occasionally a Hershey's kiss as well, with something for the kids to do on that day. I keep the papers from year to year and have adjusted them as the kids have gotten older, but at least I don't have to start from scratch each year. For example, we used to live near a lake and when the kids were little, we would paint rocks with kind messages and put them around the lake on the path. Another one is to bring a holiday card to their teacher. Another is to let someone else go in front of you in line.
My kids are older now 11 and 14 and last year November, I was starting to think maybe they had grown it. But then my 11 year old said twice, hey, mom, you are getting the kindness house ready, right? I think especially this year, it will be a good reminder for our family that even if the country is in shambles, we can still figure out what we can do to make our small community better and have it in our power to be kind. Such a great picture of the kindness house. Yeah.
And it's such a great way to respond to this moment because when we are feeling helpless in the macro scale, we can really lean into each other like our smaller communities and our neighborhoods and our circles. So I love it.
That's awesome that your older kids want to do it too. So cool, especially because the teenage years can be so self-centered for kids. Developmentally appropriate, of course, but that's awesome that you're maintaining it. Totally. The next one.
is from Jen from the Bay Area. Hi, Dora and Elise. I just started taking a beginner's tennis class at my local parks and rec program. I haven't played in over 10 years and am enjoying myself, but I need some tennis shoe recommendations. My current shoes aren't cutting it and my feet are just so sore. Just FYI, I have flat feet. So if you have wrecks for tennis shoes with an arch support, it would be helpful. Thanks. Dora, I go to you for shoes on shoe expertise. That's your area. Okay.
The thing about shoes is everyone's feet are different. And the shoe that I recommend for me might be different than the shoe I would recommend for you. And I also am not like a shoe expert, so I can't say like.
These are good for flat feet. These are good for high art. I don't know. I think you need to go to a tennis store, and I can guarantee you that there are tennis stores in the Bay Area, because tennis is big in Northern California. Go to a tennis store. Talk to them. Try on a bunch of tennis shoes. See which ones feel good to you.
and go from there, don't order something online without trying something on first because you might end up with something that is just not appropriate for your feet. So take the time, go to a tennis store and try on a bunch of shoes and please get tennis shoes because a really great way, not running shoes, a really great way to get injured is to play tennis in running shoes. You can so easily roll your ankles that way.
It's like, yes, and it will happen. Like maybe it hasn't happened yet, but it will happen. So please get tennis shoes. You can also, I believe you could also play tennis in basketball shoes because they have that ankle support, but I wouldn't recommend it. I would just get a pair of tennis shoes.
Okay, that's my soap box about tennis. Good job. Thank you. Okay, I'll read this next one. Just discovered your podcast and love the episodes and the vibes here so much. I heard on one of your recent episodes you talking about how good and important planking is to health and how if you only do one exercise, planking would be a great choice. However,
It's good to note that if you have split abs also known as diastasis recti, planks along with sit-ups and push-ups are not beneficial exercises for your body and can actually make the splitting of your ab muscles worse. This is a sad slash not sad moment for me as I have split abs and really dislike all these exercises anyway. Thank you for all you do and for providing such a lovely and inspirational corner of the world for women to gather.
Okay, good advice. This reminds me one of my besties, Sarah did get split abs after childbirth and she ended up having to get surgery to sort of like put her abs back together. Yeah, I was going to say, if you have split abs and you haven't talked to a doctor yet, I would do that. Not a doctor, not a medical professional. Again, we are not medical professional suggests that. Yes. All right, we'll take a break and we'll be right back.
Okay, we have returned and we have a question for you, Elise. Okay. This listener writes, over the summer, you mentioned that you were planning on taking one of your daughters to Paris. Did you wind up going? If so, would you be willing to share details about your trip on an upcoming episode? We are taking a family trip to Paris this December with our six and 10-year-old. I'd love to hear about your experience and any advice or recommendations for being there with kids and tweens.
I'm very disappointed to report that at the very last minute, like maybe two or three days before our trip passed at the point at which I could even reasonably reschedule it and not lose money, I ended up deciding we couldn't go.
So, Isa and I did not make it to Paris, and it's because I had my TED talk coming up, I think the following week, and there was so much travel, it was in Atlanta, and there was so much travel before it, and then after it, and I was just too stressed out, and I was like, you know what, it feels way too indulgent to try.
fly to Europe for a long weekend. And Esa was very disappointed. And in fact, she's been grumpy about it for weeks, for weeks. And then I was actually talking to my ex-husband this morning about how Esa's been grumpy. And he was like, she's just feeling like, you know, middle child, she's gotten forgotten and we're just really going to have to shore her up.
I feel like the Paris thing is sort of tied into it. So I didn't get to go. Our guest, Glennis McNichol, from earlier this summer, who
wrote a book about living in Paris, moving to Paris. She has a whole section of her list that she sent me about what to do with kids. So I would need to find a place to post that for y'all. I don't know if the Patreon would be the right place, but it has some obvious suggestions and some less obvious ones. So I'm sorry, I don't get to vouch for kid places yet, because this is going to be rain checked until next summer.
Okay. There you have it. Bummer for me. Bummer for Issa. All right, everybody. We have one more voicemail that I would like to share.
I was in Washington DC and last night or this morning I woke up and I had a notification that somebody came to my door at 4 or 16 in the morning and I thought, is there an Amazon package that was getting delivered? Because sometimes they come directly between 4 and 8 a.m. as the first window.
I didn't see a package, so I looked on my doorbell camera, and sure enough, the man that walked up to my door picked up my old knock-off, Birkenstock, uh, plastic shoes that I keep there to, like, quickly run to take the trash out, or we didn't, uh, do some, you know, room or whatever, sleeping or whatever. You look at him, grabbed him, and walked away? He didn't even leave his own! Red. Red. He didn't leave his own!
I didn't even leave alone. So rude. This whole porch theft, porch shoe theft is happening coast to coast. Coast to coast. It's an epidemic. It's an epidemic of porch shoe theft.
Mine was technically everybody, I guess, it was a porch shoe swap, because I got some really, really nasty old Birkenstock like shoes. That's true. In place of my expensive running shoes. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry that that happened to you. And that you didn't get a swap. And that you didn't even get a swap. I mean, a joke. What does this world come to?
At least do you have any Costco or Trader Joe's recommendations for this week? I don't have anything fresh. I just did want to follow up with you on your on your recommendation last week. I did see the spicy tempura seaweed snack. Yeah, I didn't. I haven't bought it yet, but I can confirm that I saw it at my Trader Joe's. So I'm guessing they have been released nationally.
They've been released into the wild. Yes. Yes, indeed. Okay. Well, Kimi posted if you end up getting it. Okay. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Awesome. We'll do. Okay, everybody. Thank you so much. And we'll talk to you next time. And we'll talk to you soon. Yeah. Okay. Bye. Bye.
