Kristin Cavallari: Evolution of Me

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Benny Exo.

Is this thing on? Hi babies, welcome back to another episode of Don Blonde. My girl, Kristen Cavalieri is in the house, baby. Hi, I'm so excited to be here. Dude, I am so stoked to have you here. This has been a long time coming. I know. We've been talking about this for, I mean...

months. Yeah, maybe it might be a year. That's what I was going to say. It might be. Yeah. So yay. So happy it's finally happening. Dude, you are an icon in your own right, dude. You have been around forever. And I don't think like I don't feel like the new TikTok people really know like your whole lore.

You have like a lore to you. And it's like people are just like, oh, Kristin and Cavillari just came on the scene. I've seen comments like that. And I'm like, and they're like, who is she? And I'm like, how do you guys not know who Kristin is? I love when people comment, who are you? You're the one commenting on my page. You should get out of here. I'm the one who's going viral. Who the fuck are you? It's so funny. TikTok is its own thing. I just did a voiceover to myself from Laguna Beach. And people thought it was like in real time, like I was just doing it.

Yeah. And some people obviously get it, but TikTok is, yeah, is it a younger generation? I'm not on my FYP, but I feel like there's so many people that do use TikTok that it's like the age group is just so vast over there. Well, I don't know.

what for you pages I'm falling on, but it's like, it's such a mixed bag. It's either like, we're gonna beach fans who have known me for 20 years, or these people are like, who the fuck is this chick? So yeah, I get all kinds of comments. Well, let's get them familiar with you, because I have an entire interview planned out for you, because there's just, you have so much. So it's like, I just wanna cover everything and hopefully,

In this interview, people in the podcast, people will be able to get to get a sense and a feel for you of everything that you've accomplished before you became on TikTok and was on very cavalry and all that stuff. All right, I love it. Let's take it back to the hills because that's where I fell in love with you. You had this huge personality and you didn't take anybody's shit. I was like, who is this woman?

How did that all come about because was it like a bunch of rich kids whose parents like? Sent them to casting agents or like how did this even come? Okay, so Laguna Beach or the hills the hills the hills the hills was first right no So Laguna Beach was first okay Laguna Beach So I mean literally it fell into my lap. I was going to high school. We all were just going to school and

And MTV showed up one day and did an open casting call. And how they were able to come to the school was the school initially was on board with it. MTV was paying the school. So they found all of us. And then, of course, the parents freaked out and they were like, there's no way we can have cameras in these classrooms. So MTV was like, that's fine. We already found our cast. So what we would do is we would just film on the weekends.

But it was right place, right time. It fell into my lap, and it completely changed my life. That's insanity. Yeah. So you grew up in Laguna Beach, or did you grow up in like... So I grew up all over. So a lot of people think I'm from Laguna, but I didn't move to Laguna until I was a freshman in high school. So I was born in Colorado.

Oh, wow. Moved to Connecticut, moved back to Colorado, my parents got a divorce, I moved to a suburb of Chicago, and then I was getting into a lot of trouble, and so I ended up moving in with my dad, my freshman year of high school to Laguna. What kind of trouble were we getting into? Well, Bunny.

Because I need to hear this. Makes me feel better about my childhood. What's happening is for so long, I was kind of ashamed of my childhood and then like my partying ways and stuff. And now I just fully embrace it, you know. That's what made you the woman you are today. Exactly. But so I started smoking pot in eighth grade. I started drinking. I was sneaky now. Eighth grade. Yeah, I was young. And so my boyfriend Johnny at the time lived close.

And he would drive his golf cart over to my house and pick me up. And we would just, I mean, just animals. I've got taken home by the cops in eighth grade. It's like all your typical stuff. Who introduced you to drugs and that scene so early? Was it just like ditching school partying, like ditching school and just friends? Yeah. You know, it just, I think I was sort of drawn to that group of kids because I had a lot of trauma. And so, you know, my escape was

to start drinking and doing drugs. And the only way I found a connection was with my boyfriend. I didn't have a connection at home. And so that was where I found it was with my boyfriend and through all of my friends. When you talk about the trauma, can we touch base on that? Like was it just a rough relationship with the parents?

So my dad is a narcissist, typical narcissist. So is mine. I'm just dealing with my dad today, actually. And he died in May. Oh, really? Yeah. No, it's having a narcissistic father is so it just it's you can't explain it unless you come through it or somebody can relate to it. Because there's so many layers to it. It's so complicated. It's disgusting. It really is disgusting. I actually cut my dad out of my life a couple of years ago.

Which is the best thing I've ever done quite honestly I feel like it was the last thing I needed to do in my healing journey and there was a period where I was like

I felt like, am I gonna have bad karma if I cut him out of my life? And am I gonna have to come back in another lifetime and have to work through all the same shit again? And I actually had a medium say to me, she was like, no, actually, that was what you came to do in this lifetime was to be able to stand up for yourself and set boundaries and cut him out of your life. I was like, okay, that made me feel so much better. Just validated everything. But anyway, so I had a narcissistic dad growing up and then,

parents divorce, step families, some sexual trauma with a couple different guys in my life. And just, you know, just like one thing after another. And so yeah, I was just looking for any kind of, any kind of connection, an outlet as well. So that was why I kind of.

You know, went down the path that I did. Yeah. They say that children who are born Capricorns normally have issues with the mom. So for you to have issues with you. I wonder what your moonsign is.

Well, okay, I don't know which one is moon and which one is, what's the other one? There's Venus. There's Venus. So I'm Cancer and Aries, but I don't know which one is which. I could see you being an Aries moon because I'm an Aries moon. Okay. So, okay. I don't know. We'll do your chart. I'll get your number and we'll do it on the podcast. I don't even care. I love it. Mimi, do you know how to look up the birth charts?

What? Yeah, will you look it up? Oh, fine. Just give. I was born and I was born and I was born at I think. P. M. The fine that I know that I was a fucking an A M baby and I can I'm a night owl. Oh, really? Isn't that crazy? I came in the world. A. M. And you will never catch me up at 6 30. That is hilarious. Yeah. Ever, dude. Oh, while she's looking that up, we'll continue. But isn't it crazy, though, that like

so much happens in your early life and it's like you you don't know how to deal with it and you carry it so deeply so it comes out in other ways which was of course for you was the partying and stuff like that yeah I know I think everyone is the way they are because of their childhood this is like my favorite conversation yeah you know because I just think and I think a lot of people they don't

take the time to actually look inward and really work through their trauma and figure out why they are the way they are. And I feel like that's been my whole fucking life, basically, is like having to like figure it out. Breaking generational guesses. Literally, that's me too. And finally I'm about to turn 38 and I finally feel like I'm in a good place with everything and have a good handle on it.

I'm so glad you got a hold of it early because I didn't want to start dealing with my shit till I hit 40. And when I tell you, I hit 40 years old, I had the most crazy depression. It's like you can be so strong your entire life. And then it's that one day that you just wake up and everything fucking hits you like a big wall. So the fact that you have gotten ahead of it is just amazing. I'm so proud of you for doing that.

I mean, I've always said, I feel like the first, the first half of my life was just like, thing after thing, just like, it was just a lot. And now I'm hoping that I'm setting the second half of, second half of my life up to just be fucking chill, which is like, relax and be able to just enjoy my life. Do you think all that trauma that you had was why you were so fierce on Laguna Beach in the Hills?

I think it definitely played a role. And I think always being the new girl and moving around constantly, I was able to be put in any situation and it was like sink or swim. And I figured out how to survive, you know, and how to make the most of it. So I think I naturally sort of had this tough exterior, this like take no shit attitude, but I also was able to figure out any situation you could put me in. So I think the combination, yeah, is what made me this like,

You know fucking firecracker. I love that though. And that's what you were known for and that's literally why people fell in love with you because you know back then we didn't have a lot of like strong personalities like that on TV. Well I got a lot of hate for it at the time. And now it's interesting because people are like wait a minute. Maybe she wasn't the villain. Yeah.

years later, I'll take it. I don't want to talk shit about her, but Lauren always rubbed me the wrong way. And I was just like, I don't know. It just seems a little too manufactured. It just didn't seem real to me, but you always came across as authentic. Thank you. Do you feel like because you were always the fierce one and the one to speak up and the one to fight back, do you feel like people didn't really get a sense of who you really were because of that?

100%. And I think that was the thing Laguna Beach showed one side of my personality. And I mean, you know, we're all, we have so many different sides to our personality. And so.

You know, people, because I do have a very soft side too. And of course, as I've gotten older and became a mom and everything, I've really honed in on that. But even back then, I mean, I did as well. And I still have that, that, you know, take no shit side to me. But when that's the only thing they're showing, yes, I mean, you can't really get to know someone. And it's interesting because Steven and I actually did a Back to the Beach podcast. It was a rewatch podcast and we went back and it was the first time I had seen it and since it aired,

And at the time, I remember being like, MTV fucked with me so hard. And I thought it was unfair. And then going back and rewatching it and talking to everybody, I was like, Oh, no, they fucked with everyone. Like they did what they did to me. They did to every single cast member. Even, you know, Lauren, they only showed one side of her personality to Steven, the same thing. And so.

I walked away from that being like it just it was what it was and I was so mad about it for so long But it was a nice way to kind of like wrap that up and be like it wasn't just me I wasn't the victim in that situation like it happened to us all That's that's actually a really cool perspective though because most people would internalize that and be like I was picked on and victimized ourselves and you were like no Actually, they did it to everybody. Yeah, so you guys didn't have any control of what was getting put out there nothing

Oh, nothing. I feel like reality TV back in the day did that to everybody. Like, you signed your life and rights away as a human. And what they wanted to present you as was what you were going to be known as. Yep. I know. Because, you know, it was one of the first reality shows. So we didn't know what we were signing up for. Right.

And you know, even things like they would have us just record wild lines, just lines, and they could splice them in wherever they wanted. And so in a sense, I mean, we kind of had an idea of what they were doing, because we're like, well obviously I didn't say this, but you're having me say it into a microphone, so you're clearly gonna use it somewhere. So we knew that they were manipulating it to a degree. But until we actually saw it, we had no idea what was going on. And you guys were kids. I was 17. Did your guys' parents have any say so in any of that?

Yeah, our parents had to sign off on it. My mom had a lot of reservations, but I wasn't living with her at the time. So it kind of didn't matter. My dad was on board with it. So yeah, I know. You know what? Look at where you are. No, it's all good. It's all good. Yeah, I'm happy. I'm happy my mom didn't stop it, you know, but it was, it was hard to deal with at that age just because it's hard enough being a teenager, you know, and then having your lives being manipulated when it's your real boyfriend, your real friend, it just gets really

Just really messy, quite honestly. So was it how real was it though? Because you know reality TV back then wasn't quite real. Didn't they give you guys plots and like, or was it genuine? Well, so Laguna Beach was more put us in situations and then kind of

See what happens knowing that a particular situation is gonna probably press my buttons or You know if this is not the group of people I would normally hang out with kind of a thing Let's have Kristen's boyfriend go up to this other girl's house even though they're dating and so situations that they know is gonna piss us off right, but

I don't think any show is 100% real. I think it's impossible to have a show. Even if you have cameras on you 24-7, like Jersey Shore, for example, they still have to edit it down into a 42 episode or whatever it is. Yeah, 32-minute episodes for... Right. And so there's no way that something can be 100% real. There's no way to capture all of that. Yeah, absolutely.

Um, we have your birth chart right here. Okay. So you are a Capricorn sign. You're an Aries moon because I can see. Oh, you were right. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. And you are a Capricorn rising. So you're going through is Capricorn. Wait, Capricorn. I think I had cancer. Your Venus is Scorpio. Oh, so you're a lover. Oh, that makes sense. You're a lover, baby. Where the hell did I get cancer from? You got a lot of cap. You have a Capricorn stellium in you, baby.

You have one, two, three. It says you have three or four planets in Capricorn. Three planets in Capricorn, yeah, so that's a stellium. Wow. Yeah, so you're a hardcore king. Yeah, I could have told you that. I could see the Aries Moon in you, because I'm an Aries Moon too, and we're just so fiery. Yes, okay, so the Aries is the fiery. Well, and Cap too. Okay.

Cap is Earth, but also the Aries part of it too is just, I'll have to sit down and explain birth charts because I'm super into that. But I just feel like astrology really tells people who they are. It's a love language. Totally. I believe in all this stuff. I love it. Yeah, do you? I love that. I'll have to start sending you stuff because I'm totally into that.

So moving on from the hills and all that stuff. Are you friends with anybody still from the cast? Yeah, I mean, I still talk to pretty much everybody and the rewatch podcast kind of brought us all back together, which was really fun. Yeah. And I have my 20 year high school reunion coming up in the fall. And so I can't wait.

Are you excited? I'm so excited. You're going to get the hottest one there going back there. I don't know. Everyone in the going to beach still looks really good. There's something in the water. I'm telling you, the West Coast girls are just... It's true. They have sunshine, baby. I do think it's good for you. I'm from Vegas and we were always in Cali. Like Vegas girls and Cali girls kind of like we all just... Well, that's like we were always in Vegas. Because it's so easy. We'd have nights where we're like, let's just go to Vegas. Yeah. Half hour flight. Oh my God.

You know how many coked-out trips I took on a flight. Bro, being locked on a plane. We would drive out of your mind. Oh, I can do it. That's just fucking dry. Like three hours. I couldn't do it three and a half hours locked in a car. Oh, train wreck. Yeah, fucking cracked out of my mind. There's no I've done it, but there's just I could now I could never I like never. No, no.

Dude, I look back. We just got some pictures from my best friend who passed away. Her sister sent me a bunch of pictures of us and there's one of me in there that's like meth out. Girl, where are my eyebrows? I know. Well, I was the same way. I had no eyebrows. I fucked them up forever now. I had to see. No, your eyebrows look fucking good.

Mine are too, but yours is like, you have hair. I can't even fucking grow a fucking eyebrow back. Okay, you know what I'm gonna tell you? Castor oil. Do you ever put castor oil on? I tried it on my belly button and it made me feel weird. I can't do it. It made me feel weird so I get scared.

now. I'm so excited. And it works for you. Do you love it? And I put it on my face too. So I tried to do the cast royal thing because I wanted to be like the cast royal girlies too. And it just made me I will get to it. I'm such a sensitive like girly now because of all the fucking shit I did in my past. So like now I can't it's like I used to fucking snort eight balls and now I can't even use cast royal. Right. It is fucked up. No, it's fucking it's bullshit.

Anyways, moving on from the cast royal packs. How did you take? So you did Laguna Beach. You did the hills. And then after that, did you want to stay in reality TV or was that more of like your exit out? I was like, get me the fuck out. And I think more than reality TV, just living in LA.

And feeling like I was, my life felt really claustrophobic because at that point I had paparazzi on me every single day. So every time I wanted to leave my house, whether it be just run to Walgreens or whatever, I'd have to be like,

Fuck, am I gonna have to deal with this? And, you know, this is before social media, so the tabloid world was just ruthless. It was so bad back then. It was really bad, and I was on the cover of fucking Every Magazine, it seemed like every other week for some bullshit I didn't do, or like, saying I need to go to rehab and all this shit. I just, I had sort of hit my wall, and I really wanted out of LA. Yeah.

It wasn't even so much like, it wasn't even, I wanted to be done with an entertainment career. I knew I wanted to be done with reality TV, but it was more like, I gotta get the fuck out of LA for my own sanity. And I actually met my ex-husband a month after we wrapped the hills. Oh wow. Yeah, so Jake came in. Yeah, I'm allowed to say his name. Yeah, yeah, we can totally say his name. Yeah, I met him when I was 23 a month after we wrapped the hills and it just sort of naturally got me out of LA.

which was great. Aww, that's how it was when I met my Jay. Literally, it got me out of Vegas. If I would have stayed in Vegas, I would have killed myself. Right? That's how I felt like in LA. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's kind of cool how, you know, when you really want something, how the universe just sort of delivers it when you're ready. Absolutely. All you gotta do is ask in the universal grab it. It's true. So, you meet Jay.

Take me on that journey with you guys' relationship. So Jay, a year prior, I got a call from my publicist and he said that Jay Kotler wanted to fly me to Chicago and take me on a date. And I didn't know who Jay was. So I googled at him and I was like, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. So I didn't know who Jay was till he was on your show. I love you.

I knew who you were. I didn't know who Jay was. Yes, so I said no. So, okay, fine. So a year later, I was visiting my mom who happened to still live there, and I was going to a Bears preseason game with my cousin, who was Bears obsessed. I totally forgot. Jay even asked me out. My mom brought it up.

And my cousin was like, what the fuck? You're such an idiot. Jay is the man. You've got to go out with him. So I ended up getting us family passes to meet Jay after the game, thinking it was going to make my cousin's life. I would probably never talk to this guy ever again. And he walked in and I was like, oh shit, he's cuter than I thought he was going to be. And he asked you out. How did he ask you out? Well, it was through my publicist. OK, gotcha. So we never had any interaction. Gotcha. So he walked in. He was really cute. He was very

smart because he kind of like won my mom over. I was talking to my mom the whole time. He drove us to our car and then he texted me immediately and he was like something about like, well, you got to come back or something. And then I think I came back like a week later and then it was like, that was it. We moved really fast.

I love relationships like that, though. Granted, you guys have gone your separate ways, but I still feel like a moment in time, that moment in time was what you needed, and it was like magical. Yeah, and he was exactly what I was looking for at the time. And again, I mean, I was 23, I think.

I was a baby, you know, like hindsight is 2020. I don't regret a damn thing though. I mean, there's so much good that came out of our relationship and ultimately not only did I get my kids and it got me out to Franklin, Tennessee and, you know, all these great things, but it forced me to figure out my shit and grow up and do the work that I needed to do. And so I'm really thankful for that as well. What would you say was kind of, I don't want to use the word downfall because that's heavy, but what do you think?

was part of the reason for the relationship unraveling. So Jay and I always had a tough relationship, even from the very beginning. And I think I'm really careful about what I say, obviously, because we have three kids together. Absolutely. And we can always cut things out. Yeah.

I just haven't talked about them in so many years. I've like, I made that vow. I was like, I'm done talking about them, but I'm happy to talk about it. It's just, I'm trying to think about like the best way to say it because, you know, I think it, things were just never good and.

We tried really hard. I will say like we really did everything that we could. And ultimately I had to make a decision of taking care of myself and putting myself first and especially as a mom and having these three little kids. I really wanted my kids to see me happy and see that I was making myself a priority and taking care of myself.

Especially now having a daughter too. I think that's so important. It is so important because I feel like when parents stay together and they're miserable, that causes more fucking trauma for the kids. One thousand percent. Then just seeing healthy co-parenting. Yeah. Yeah, because what you're teaching your kids then is A, stay in something because you're fucking miserable. Yeah. And B, they have no idea now what a healthy relationship looks like.

And it just, if you can't be your best self, that obviously trickles down to your kids and you take out your, her and your sadness on your kids, it's just such a negative toxic environment. And as soon as I got out of my marriage, I remember even my mom saying to me like shit, I had no idea how bad it was, but I was a shell of who I was and immediately I got my spark back.

And I love that for you. Yeah. When you say that it was bad, was it just polar opposites or was it arguing? Like what was it that was so bad? It was just it was toxic, you know? And I think because I hadn't done the work with on myself and you were a baby too. I was a fucking baby. I didn't know any better when you guys got together. He was

I think he had, I think he was 28, 27 or 28. So you guys were both young. We were both young love. I feel like the first, like the first love or the first young love like that where you get married or something like that is like toxic. You know, you guys don't know how to fucking navigate life. I know how I was a fucking 23. I'm sorry to anybody whose paths had to cross with mine in that era of my life because I was just a shit show.

Like, you shouldn't be allowed to get married before age 30, quite honestly. Literally, I agree to be allowed to. I agree. You don't know the fuck you are that age. Bro, I swear. I'm 100% of the age. I know it. But the thing is, I was repeating a pattern with my dad, you know? And because I hadn't done the work on my relationship with my dad, that's what you do, you know? I ended up marrying my dad. And so...

It really forced me then to work through my shit, which is, which is what I did. So when we got a divorce for the last almost five years, quite honestly, it's I've really taken the time to like get my shit together so that I don't then make the same mistake. Yeah. I don't want to say mistake. That's not the right word, but I don't want to be repeating that pattern. Absolutely. Yeah. For sure. And they do always say that if unless you do the work, you will meet the same person, the same human and different bodies until you learn that lesson. Over and over again. Over and over again.

Yeah. So what we saw of Jay on very cavalry, because when did very cavalry come into the picture? Did you start uncommon James first? I did, but they were pretty close together. Very cavalry must have been 2017, I want to say. Is that right? Yeah, because we did three seasons and it ended in 2020. So yeah, 2017. How did uncommon James come about?

So I had a shoe line with Chinese lingerie. Do you remember that? I do? Yeah, I loved all the shoes. My brand growing up. So I had a shoe line with them and I loved it. But because I was doing shoes with them, I wanted to do something on my own and I felt like jewelry was the next natural step.

I love accessories. I think they make a breaker outfit. So I, well, I had this fire in me to show everybody that I knew what I was doing in the branding world because with Chinese laundry, at the end of the day, wall, I had final say. I didn't really because it was a whole team of people. This is a well established company.

And I learned to trust my gut. I knew my customer. And so I had this fire in me of like, I'm going to show everyone that I know what I'm doing in the branding world. So I launched Uncommon James out of our house. And at the time, I was essentially a stay-at-home mom. Like, I did little things. I would host these big award shows, these pre-shows for he.

on the red carpets. But other than that, I was basically a stay-at-home mom. And so I just honestly wanted something to do also. And probably set yourself apart from the reality star. Yes. You know, because you've grown. You've got a baby by now. You're married. Yeah, but I wanted like my own thing. Yeah. And so launched it. And then I knew, because, you know, I had been offered a million reality shows, obviously, like,

You know, coming off of Laguna Beach in the Hills, I knew I could always fall back on that if I needed to. But I wanted to do a show similar to Vanderpump Rules and have it be about on Common James. So pitched it to E and they were like, we'll do it if you're on it more.

So I had to get Jay on board then and I had to get one of my friends on board and then Yeah, we did it and and I did it your friends being Kelly. Yes And we yeah, we can talk about that. Yeah, and she or so so we we did the show and

Honestly, the only reason I did it was for uncommon James, best decision I've ever made for the company. But I also, because I was an executive producer, I had such a different experience doing very cavalry. And the producers really looked at me like an equal. I was involved in every creative conversation. I always knew it was going on. And it was that aspect of it was such an enjoyable experience. It was a great way for me to end my reality TV career just with such a positive taste in my mouth. So I was really, really happy that I ended up doing it.

That's amazing. So did you actually get a say so on what was aired? I was able to get shit taken out. I mean, it was juicy. There was a lot of drama. I watched it. It could have been way better. I don't know. I thought you guys did a great fucking job. I think it could have been better. I think it could have been funnier. I wanted it to be like, I mean, and there were definitely, Jay was very funny on the show. He was hit or miss. He was either really funny or it was like, what is going on with this guy?

I mean, you should have seen the shit that got edited out. There was one time we were filming and we were fighting so bad that the camera guys were like, okay, camera's down. Like, everyone take a break, but they can't show that because they wanted Jay and I'd have seen like we were perfect, you know, or like had this great relationship. You could pick up on the tension though, you could feel it. I think you could too. Like now obviously we got divorced pretty quickly thereafter. I think people then could kind of see the cracks, you know, but they try to do a really good job of showing us in a very positive light.

You don't have a good, I'm the same way. You don't have a good poker face. If you're pissed off. I can't bullshit, man. It's like, I gotta be real. Yeah. There was a couple times I was like, she's pissed at him. Like you could feel the energy on that, because I watched very capillary too. Yeah. Well, the whole time that we were doing that show, I was really unhappy.

really unhappy in my marriage. And that was sort of like, well, that was a distraction probably also. At that point, I was throwing myself into so much work stuff that it was all a distraction. Do you feel like the drama from the show overshadowed the brand of uncommon James?

No, because what it did for the company was insane. I mean, you can't buy that kind of marketing overnight. It just had a pull to us to the next level. And it just, it set on common James up honestly to something I never even could have imagined. And so, and still, I mean, we continue to grow and

And I really do think it's because of the show initially. I really do. So no, no, I agree. I couldn't agree more. No, I mean, what is it? What do they say? All news is good news. Yeah, all press is good press. Yeah, exactly. Like, but sometimes it's hard to about my head around. But yeah, we're learning. Yeah, we're learning that now we're new into the the fame thing. So there's a couple that we go viral for some things that we've said in like 2020. And it's like, we're not even those

just fucking people anymore. Exactly. Let us grow. Let us know. But the internet will man that will just hold you to who you were at that moment in time. And hold on to everything. Yeah. And they like to bring it back and rerun it. And you're just like, what is fucking happening? I know. Like, let's see you five years ago, what you were doing. Literally, let's let's go there. Yeah, for sure.

Where do you get the inspiration for uncommon James like for the jewelry and you have clothes too, correct? So we do we're primarily jewelry and actually now we have skincare. We've got a large like we've got okay, I was gonna share some shit. Yeah, but I wouldn't say we do clothing But so for the jewelry it just depends I find that whatever's kind of going on in my life is where I'm pulling inspiration from so I mean

you know, like during COVID, it was like, I was doing a collection about adventure. Like when we could, you know, when the world started opening up again, like what we would be doing, like a daydreaming collection. I was in Greece this past summer and that inspired a whole collection. So it just kind of depends on whatever is happening in my life. I love that. It's like just little glimpses of where you're at in your life. Yeah. Yeah. You'll be able to look back on your collections and be like, okay, I did this when I was here. I was with this person and like, yeah. Well, and so my daughter, Sailor, she has a collection coming out in

I think it's April, but we designed it last New Year's actually when we were at the beach. And so like, and that's really sweet. And it's all, you know, this beach theme and stuff. So yeah, it is, it is kind of like a little scrapbook in a lot of ways of like, yeah, where I was at in my life. It is fun. I love that for you. Yeah. Moving on to the very cavalry drama that had happened. You had your best friend, Kelly Henderson on the show. Yeah. You guys had been friends for a really long time, correct?

Yeah, we had known each other. Well, actually, we met in 2010 when Jay and I started dating, but we didn't become close until a couple years later. But yes, I mean, we definitely were friends for a while. What happened on the show? Was it a storyline or was that really unfolding? No, that was real. So what happened was,

So I think it was season two. People started saying that it seemed like Jay and Kelly were having an affair. And I actually...

was completely oblivious to any of that. But then I remember being like, wait, what the fuck? And really starting to pay attention to it. And I was like, I never once thought that anything was going on. I stand by that. I don't think anything happened. But my issue was how Kelly was handling it and adding fuel to the fire and sort of taking advantage of it for her own benefit.

And I said something to her and it just blew up in my face. I mean, I will always stand by the fact that if a friend came to me and said, hey, listen, here's how your actions made me feel. I would go, holy shit, that was not my intention. I am so sorry. Let's talk about this. And this is relationships too. But when people can't take any accountability and turn it around and throw it in your face, like, I can't do that. You know what I'm saying?

I've had a lot of experience with that. That's actually like a huge thing for me moving forward with all of my friendships, relationships, whatever, is accountability is so fucking huge. And it's really hard for a lot of people. Preach it, sister. Yeah. Clip that, Jason. That's a good one. That is a good one. But I just, I'm at a point in my life where,

Because I can't do anything with that then. This is how I feel. And if you can't acknowledge that, well then I can't move on. So that's basically what happened. So the rumors were that they were having an affair. You never once thought this is possibly true. Where does a rumor like that come around from? Well, it was because of how she was with him. She was crossing the line.

And then the way she would talk about him on social media, it was always adding fuel to it where I was like, wait, what the fuck is actually going on? But no, I really don't think anything happened. I mean, fuck, I don't know, to be honest with you. Like, do I know for sure? No, and Jay used to trash her, which I now sort of think if a guy is trashing a girl, it's because there's probably something going on. Did you ever confront him? Like, hey, is this really going on? Yeah, I mean, he walked hand in hand with me during that whole thing.

You know, when you're dealing with a pathological liar, it's hard to know what the fucking truth is. There are things from my marriage that I will never know.

And I've just sort of had to let that go, you know what I mean? I'm over it now, and that's why I can probably talk about it so freely. But it's such an amazing thing for you to say, though, that you can talk about it freely now, because there's a lot of women who have gone through divorces also that never got the apologies that they deserved.

And a lot of times you won't. I never did. And I never will. But you have to do it for you. You know what I mean? You have to forgive them. And because at the end of the day, people who are lying to you or who are cheating or whatever the situation may be, that's because they're hurt. That's about them. That has nothing to do with me. And so when you can get to that place and almost have empathy for those people and realize how much they're struggling,

It's not about me. So I forgive Kelly, I forgive Jay for anything that he did. I just, anyone in my life, my dad even, I have empathy for my dad because I understand why my dad is the way he is.

I can have empathy and forgive these people and still not have them in my life. You know, those two things can coexist if Kelly has Kelly tried to apologize to you. No. And in fact, I saw her one time at the airport and she fucking bolted. I was like, I could give you a big hug right now and be like, whatever, you know, like, I don't hold crutches. But that just tells me she doesn't work through it. She's still holding on to that. So.

That's rough. It also, at the same time, makes her really guilty of something. Why can't you just face me? I'm not even with this dude anymore. 100%. Never let a man get in between a friendship type of such a girl code. Girl code? That is like, I can't even wrap my head around that.

So you're you are on this TV show, you know, you're doing your last who are off with reality TV, as you said, and then, you know, all this blows up. What happened with Shannon Ford? Are you guys friends now? I've seen her. Yeah, we're we're totally cool. You guys are good. Yeah. Okay. Because I remember that was a whole thing too.

Yeah. You're going through all of this, and then you and Jay are headed for a divorce. You guys get this divorce. How are you feeling in that moment? That was such a crazy time. I felt so many different things. I mean, it was everything from

Such a weight being lifted to feeling like I could finally breathe Yeah, to being so fucking devastated that I that I was tearing up our family You know obviously coming from divorced parents the last thing I ever wanted was a divorce so and and I won't lie to you that still will Creep up once in a while Christmas I felt that I got really sad Christmas Eve because I was like it just sucks that we're not together as a family and

I don't wanna be back with Jay at all, but it's that family unit, you know? That bums me out sometimes. Do you guys think you could ever do a Christmas together eventually? How are you guys co-parenting right now? It's been so up and down.

They're not shocking because I mean, we've seen Jay's behavior. Yeah, which is really hard. Yeah, you poor baby. Yeah, it has not been easy to say the least. Um, you know, we sat together at a basketball game earlier in the year and I was like, holy fuck. This is the best thing that's ever happened.

And to be honest that's not even what I want. It's you know it's just

Um, I think when you go through a divorce and you have kids, like there are those moments where you're like, it's a bummer just because you don't want that. But there's also a lot of good, of course, that came out of that. And I think even for my kids, you know, it's going to make them stronger. Like there's, I could list a thousand things of why it's positive.

But I do have those moments. But in that moment, you know, going through the divorce, just wrapping a reality show. Yeah. How are you feeling? Like even getting back into like the dating scene. I was using it for me. I was like, ready to go. We're going to get there, baby. We're going to get there, sister. Well, you know what it was? I think so. I actually immediately started dating someone. And then I went from that to another thing immediately.

And so for the first year, I was like, woo, having fun. I'm free. I'm dating. I'm like getting my spark back, like just fucking loving life, quite honestly. And then Jane, I actually went on a couple of dates. Oh. Yeah, we went on a couple of dates trying to see if like,

Because, man, it's fucking hard. And I think unless you've gone through this, especially with a toxic marriage, it's like, it has this hold on you. And until you can like, trauma bond almost. It's a fucking trauma bond. And until you can really break that, I would go back a couple times and be like, but I know it's not right, but like, why am I doing it? But so we did, we went on a couple of dates. And then after I finally, you know, for the 18th of a millionth time, was like, I can't do this.

Then I really did the work. And then it like, I had lonely times, I had sad times. It was really hard for me then to meet someone. Like, I dated, but I didn't meet anyone that I liked for a really long time. Because you're in the process of healing and you're just like, ew, like you get the ick so easy. So easy. Which is a good thing, you know? But yeah, then I had to really...

you know, get real with myself and do the healing journey. So it was good. What's a wellness like ritual that you do for yourself, like to ground yourself? I mean, I really do love meditating. Me too. I don't do it as much as I would like to. But when I do it, it's fucking powerful. I just started doing sauna. I just said sauna. Do you meditate in the sauna? That's my new thing. That's what I do. I just started doing it.

It's the best because you can take your phone in there. Like you I just put set mine outside and I just kind of like sit in there for half hour and just zone out. Yeah. It's the best. And you feel so good after you. Well, they say it literally changes your vibration. Like it literally, you know, yeah. So I do love it.

What else do I do? I actually have these oracle cards, too. I like pulling oracle cards. I love that for you. I got tarot cards, too. I think I'm like a fucking medium all of a sudden. I like to do a little joke over there. I'm reading them for all my friends. I would let you read my tarot cards. I would love to read the tarot cards. Let's do it. We'll have to do that. I'm coming over for dinner just so you can read my tarot cards.

So you've written books, you've built businesses, and you're raising a family. How do you define success for yourself these days? I love that question. Success, I think, is inner peace, quite honestly, like period. It's that simple. But I think there's no there's no pieces priceless. That's the thing. And I think, you know, what we were talking about earlier, like when your whole life has not been peaceful, I value it so much. And I've

I feel lucky because I've gotten to a place where I've been able to sort of like curate my life to be exactly what I want. You know, my podcast that I'm doing, Uncommon James, everything's on my terms. I'm my own boss. I can work when I want to work. My kids are always my priority. And if I want to take a week off and go fuck around, I can. And that for me is heaven. So I feel very, very lucky. You're like a Phoenix that rises through the ashes. The Phoenix rising. Yeah.

Thanks, that's how I feel. No, listen girl, you're a warrior. You know, real recognize real. I get it, man. It's when you go through so much like just tragedy and bullshit in the beginning of your life, all you want now is peace. Like, you can ask my girls. I don't fucking even want, if it's not fucking me feeding me or financing me, I don't fucking care about what the fuck is you got going on. You want to come to me with some bullshit, take it elsewhere. Exactly. I do not care. No time for that.

So, you know, after the divorce, you said that it was really easy for you to start dating. Here we go. I love that little smile on your face. Because you already know what's coming, baby. I know, let's go. Let's go. Was one of those men happen to be Morgan? I hope I know.

Because you dropped a bomb and the internet went insane. What was your friend Justin Anderson? Our suspect video. Yes. Can we elaborate on this? And I have to navigate this. Yeah, you guys know Morgan. Well, see, here's the thing. I've seen Morgan numerous times. I've only hugged him. I've never had a conversation with him. My husband and him are friends. And my husband is like, that's my Bubba.

Yeah, and Morgan's a good guy. Yeah, I do. He has a big heart. He really does. He's a player from the Himalayas. Thousand percent. The amount of women that have sat on my couch that have been with Morgan Wallen is crazy. He's been with every woman on the planet. And he should. He should. Yeah, he absolutely should. I mean, yeah, yes. I definitely hung out with Morgan.

Morgan is he's very sweet. Here's what I'll tell you is the first date that we went on. He was a true gentleman and he was like, I'll pick you up. I'll pick the place like just fucking handled business. He came and picked me up. He met my kids. My kids were so excited. No, it was so cute. We he got us a private room. You know, he had like his bodyguard and whatnot and dropped me off. He kissed me in the rain and it was like the sweetest thing. And then we hung out there after and it was

I will say it was a very um that was up and down too it was just like it was a lot yeah they always say you'll find the same person in different bodies so that's true but yeah I love Morgan I haven't talked to him in probably a year but I have nothing but good things to say about him was he romantic um

I've heard he's great in bed. He was getting bad. We got another one to confirm. Another one has Morgan. You slay, brother, slay. We are in no way. You know, Morgan's going to be hitting up Jay, like, can you please tell your wife to never talk about me on her podcast again?

Only for you, buddy. Only for you. I appreciate it. But you did say, and we have to bring this up, you did say that he hurt your feelings. Justin said that. Justin said that. Justin said that. Okay. I'm so sorry, Morgan. He didn't hurt my feelings. I'll be honest with you. Morgan was the first guy in my entire fucking life that wasn't like

just completely enamored with me. And I was like, what in the fuck is going on? It really threw me. Yeah. Because you're used to people like worse at me. I'm used to guys being like crazy where I'm like, eh, whatever. Well, it's probably because he has 20 other girlfriends. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. He was busy. Yeah. And so, um,

Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly

Yeah, never did. Oh, I will say I walked away from him a couple times and I was ultimately the one that ended it But I never felt like I like had him, you know, and yeah, the only time in my life. So it really fucked with me Yeah, well, he has a reputation for being a bad boy 100 lives up to it. I mean, yeah fucking chairs off roofs, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm listen. I'm glad that didn't work out. I don't

I feel like Morgan might be a stepping stone, you know, for like finding your true love. Yeah, he's like the bad boy that you want to play with. Yes, you tuck him away and you put him in the past. Exactly. At the time, quite honestly, I was like, I kind of just want a fuck buddy in Nashville.

Yeah. That's really hard to find here for some reason. And I wanted to make Morgan that, but it was like, yeah, Morgan seems to be the guy that wants to step up to the plate to be people. Right. Fuck, but the problem is honestly, he was on tour. He's losing it over here. She knows so many girls that have been with him too.

Even I do. And I'm like, God. Morgan has needs a support group. Literally. Because everyone's heart is broken. And I know. Morgan, you're out here breaking people's hearts, man. Oh, Morgan. But he was so busy, honestly, that it was just like, why the fuck am I like, what are we doing? This is silly. So.

Just stepping stone he's and he was fun like we had a good time And so you know all good all good Jason statement stay them stay them. How do I pray Jason stay them Jason stay them with how that doesn't even seem like your type. Oh my god when I was Old was I I was probably like

when he won. He, I loved him. Yeah. I mean, not really, but I know he, yeah, we were really good friends. Is he tiny? He's smaller than you would think. Yeah, they all are though, you know what I mean? That's my issue with actors. They're never this like macho like. I feel like I'm bigger than every fucking person that I've seen on the big screen. I know. Every time I meet him and you're tiny. But so are you, but no, you are, but yes, I'm a big back bitch and I'll take it.

I identify as a big back bitch and listen. I think it's so mad at me when I say it, but I'm like, bro, I have a big back bitch. No, stop it. No, but these guys, that's the thing. They're never what you want them to be. Ever. Ever. And they were lifts.

I know. Yeah. So. Did Jason wear lifts? No. OK. Well, maybe in the movies and shit. OK. But Jason is a great guy. He's a lot of fun. Did you guys actually like date date? Or was he just more like that? We dated a little bit. We dated a little bit. Wow. Yeah. No, he was great. We had the same group of friends. So we started out as friends. And then it just kind of escalated. But yeah, no, nothing but good things to say about Jason, too. How long was it?

I don't even remember. I mean, because we were friends at first. God, this is so long ago. I would say maybe a year, but not like hooking up and dating. Probably a couple months that that was going on. But yeah, yeah. Let's talk about your, because we're going to hop off of your dating for a second. Okay. Let's talk about this beef you have with the Kardashians.

She's like, let's hop out of one frying pan into another. Okay, let's get her. What is it about that family? Because I've had numerous people and they sponsor my podcast. So I do their ads on my podcast too. And I'm like, oh, they're talking shit. They just renewed it for 2025. I was like with us too. Hey, you want me to just keep talking shit? I will. I love it. So I love that. You know, I think it's cool that they just don't care. They're like, you know what? We're going to fucking just sponsor the podcast. I know.

I know. There's a lot of people who have sat on my couch that have different stories, but the same scenarios with this family. And it comes to a point where it's like, some of it can't be made up. No. I mean, I think the thing is, I feel like we're living in this time right now where karma is like really playing a role. Huge. And people are being held accountable on a big scale. Yes. And I'm here for that. I love that. And you know, mine really stems from

I mean, this is, I was probably like 22, 21 or 22. And why known Scott? Disick. Same thing. Same group of friends. We were always buddies. You were with Brody Jenner, weren't you? I dated Brody. Brody was my first boyfriend in LA. Yeah. So yeah, it was all that group of people.

And Scott and Courtney started dating. That's how I met Courtney. I fucking loved Courtney. We were really good friends. I could see you guys being like, you guys are kind of like the same person. Very similar. Courtney was awesome. And they broke up. And I was doing something in Vegas, actually. And I went with a bunch of my guy friends. Scott happened to be one of the guys that came. Again, we were always just friends. He was devastated about Courtney. And the next morning, we all went out. We had a good time. I was never even alone with Scott.

He was devastated about Courtney, but fumbled the ball. How many times? Well, exactly. I mean, men are always like the victim. Always the fucking victim. I'm like, maybe if you got your shit together, it'd be a great story. But so the next morning, it was on like page six or something that Scott and I had hooked up. And I was like, what in the mother fuck? And my friend Stu was like, I know for a fact that was Scott who told them that planted that to try to make Courtney jealous. Well, what do you know?

That's in fact what happened. Courtney was really upset about it. And I remember being on the phone with Courtney being like, Courtney, you know that that's not true. I would never fucking touch Scott. And I don't know. She was like, well, I don't know. I just know I have sisters and I would never put myself in that situation. Her sisters have allegedly been with...

Right, you know, like, okay. And then so they did end up getting back together and we, you know, we stopped talking. But I am like, Scott must have said it was true or something because all it would have taken was for Scott to be like, that's not true. And that was my issue too, because this was on the cover of every fucking tabloid. And I remember doing an interview.

Again, before social media, so it's not like you can go on and defend yourself. Yeah, so I remember doing an interview being like, that's not true. And all it would take is one of the Kardashians to be like, that's not true for it to go away, but they wouldn't do that. And that's the part that pisses me off is like,

They, I think they have no regard for anyone else other than themselves. They don't really defend themselves either. I guess they kind of don't do that. Yeah, yeah. Like there's sometimes that there's accusations coming out about them and I'm waiting for one of them to speak up and they never say a fucking word. Well, I think, you know, talk about what we've said earlier. They're in the camp of all press's good press for sure. We're like, no, this is my fucking reputation and my name. I'm like, I didn't,

I have an issue when something is so not true. If something comes out and it's true, I'm like, I didn't fucking do that. So that explains why you were so mad when Scott reached back out to you. So I go on my podcast and just was talking shit about the curtain.

And then Scott Disick DM's me after fucking 15 years or something. It's like, I miss you. We should hang out. It just felt so calculated to me. And this is what the Kardashians and a lot of people in Hollywood do is when you're out there talking shit, they want to shut you up.

So it's keep your friends close and your enemies closer and I don't play that game. It's so fake to me Do you feel like Scott is still under control of that family thousand percent? Oh, okay. I think so I think he's such a loose lot He's like a loose one. Yeah, like he is for sure But I think at the end of the day they definitely can kind of control they run them in in their lives. That's for sure. Yeah

Yeah, they do. Poor Rob. Poor Rob is like disappeared. He's an obscurity. I was dancing with the stars with him. He's the sweetest. He's kind of, yeah. Where is Rob? Oh, yeah. Where is Rob? OK. Rob, Rob, do the red. What is it? What is it? The Britney Spears as the yellow rose? Yeah. Both the yellow rose if you need help. Exactly. Poor Rob. I know. All that estrogen too. It's going to be just fucking insane.

Yeah. So moving on from your beef with the Kardashians because it's really not even beef. I think I feel like it's legit. Like your feelings are hurt and Courtney should have been a better friend to know that you would not do that. Well, and it's like, I honestly, I don't even really give a fuck to be honest with you. But it's just that the fact that Scott was trying to slide into my D my DMS off. Yeah. Yeah. But you're like, look, an elephant never forgets and I

I remember everything. Exactly. And you don't want to fuck with someone who has a weekly podcast. Yeah. I'll come out and say whatever. I'm also a loose cannon. Let's talk. Let's talk about your podcast really quick. What is the name of your podcast? I want to listen to it. Let's be honest. Yeah. It's, you know, wherever you get your podcast. Yeah. And it's a mix. You know, that's what I love is having creative freedom with, you know, uncommon James and the podcast to talk about whatever I want to talk about. I mean, you get that. If one week I want to talk about,

You know fucking Scott Disks sliding into my DMS or interview a neurosurgeon. Yeah, you know, like I have that freedom which is really great and keeps it exciting for me. I admire the fact that you could do podcasts by yourself. You never do them? No, I have a master back. I feel like nobody wants to hear me talk that much. Oh, that is not true. You would be so good at it.

I would probably, they'd be like, by the time I got done, they'd be like, does she have five personalities? Because she literally made herself laugh, and she couldn't stop laughing, and then she got pissed off. Like, what just happened? It is, but it's weird. It might be bad for me. I remember when I started doing them, I was like, this is the most unnatural awkward thing on the planet. I was just talking to myself. Like, it's weird. But it's a muscle. You would be so good at it, Bonnie. I feel like you should try it. I don't know. Listen, if you guys see me talking to myself, it's because Kristen told me to do it.

So, let's talk about the Montana boy. Okay. Okay, because listen, I was fucking rooting for you, dude. You were so cute on TikTok. I was like, let's just fucking live, bro. Thank you. I know. What was the age difference? Thirteen years. I mean, it's not terrible. I mean, you know, the thing is, I will stand by this. I still think age is just a number and

It was so interesting for me to see how up in arms people were because I was older and I'm the woman compared to how it is for men. But Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher got away with it and they were the cutest thing ever. Well, and there's so many people. Talk about Jason Statham. I think he's like 20 something years older than Rosie. I mean, like, there are so many relationships out there and people don't bat an eye. But when a girl does it, that really pissed me off. I was like, what the fuck? Also, it's not like, I don't know, I think

So, okay, actually here's my real opinion on it. This is what I think. I don't think people give a shit that I was dating someone younger. I think it's that I can do whatever the fuck I want in my life. I'm out there doing what I want and a lot of people can't do that and that's what's triggering for people. Amen. Yeah. And so, yeah, it was fascinating for me to see that whole thing. To see the reaction. Yeah. How did you guys meet? How did that come about? Did you see him on TikTok and you were like, I want that one.

Okay, yeah, literally I saw him on TikTok and I was like, fuck, he's so hot. But like, okay, that was that. And then like a couple months later, he DM'd me on Instagram and I was like, what the fuck? You manifested that. I literally did. Yeah. And then, um, and then found out they were moving to Nashville.

And I was like, well, fuck, if this isn't meant to be. Yeah. You're like, I mean, I just, I need to welcome home. I need it. I needed that fuck buddy. Yeah. I was like, oh, man. It's not Morgan. And listen, 13 years younger, you know, it's going to be good. There you go.

So how was your guys's relationship if you could like sum it up in a nutshell? It was great, honestly. I mean, we did have a real connection. I don't want to minimize that at all. He's a really good guy. It was a beautiful relationship. I, you know, I have nothing bad to say. It was fun until it wasn't, you know? It was like,

It just, I felt the age difference. Like, no, no shit, no shock. Like, of course. And I get that. You know, everyone's like, oh, fucking knew it. It's like, okay, but we all knew it. I was having fun. It was like, it's called a fling for a reason. Exactly. Like, am I supposed to marry everyone I date? Like, I don't understand. I was having fun. And I think people forget that.

The last five years have been my dating era. Like I always had boyfriends. I met Jay when I was 23. I never was able to date and figure out exactly what I want and like figure out myself through dating. And so that's what I've been doing the last five years. And that was really fun for me. It like sort of was a distraction too.

It was a distraction. It was really easy. It just sort of naturally fit into my life. I said this on my podcast, but you know, it's maybe selfish looking back, but I didn't really have to bend for him in a lot of ways. He just kind of fit into my life. And with where I'm at in my life, that was really, it was perfect. What you needed. It was what I needed. And yeah, but Mark's a great guy. And I have- I never even knew his name. I just know I'm as Montana boy. I love you.

That's Montana boy that talks to me about it is like yeah her and the Montana boy Did you ever look around when you were with him and just be like maybe and this is not a diss to him at all It's just maybe this is too small for me because you know you do have such a lore and like you're an icon and not saying that he's he won't be but I mean

All he has right now is the shirtless TikTok videos. Yeah, and it's, I think it's a combination of, yeah, I mean. That's not me being me. No, he's trying to keep it real. He's beautiful. I think, you know, I think when you are young and you don't have life experience coupled with maybe not a lot going on in your life, there's not a lot to talk about. There's not a lot to bring to the table. They're just pretty to look at.

which can go for a minute, you know? That'll get you through for a minute. No, I get it. Until it won't. Yeah. And so, yes, I came out of it and was craving real depth and emotional intimacy. Intimacy. Intimacy. You know, seduce my mind and then you can have my body. That's what I always say. Yeah, so now I'm like really like in that mode of like, I want to learn something from a man. I want to like, you know, like I want to come back. Yeah, to be daddy.

Yeah, I love that. But this one's saying, it's fun. This whole journey that I'm on is really fun, and it's the evolution of me. And I'm figuring it out. And I love that I had that as part of my overall story. Fuck yeah, I dated a 24-year-old. Was he ever insecure with what he had going on and then what you had going on? Did that ever become an issue with you guys? I mean, we have to remember, too. We only dated for seven months, so I think

But no, I don't think that was an insecurity for him. Listen, I think he was sort of along for the ride. Like he was just like happy as to be like- He was like, I'm fucking Kristen Cavalieri. He was like, very mad at me shit. So no, I don't think that was an issue.

Was he sad when you guys broke up? Yeah, it was it was really hard It was really hard and it um it crushed me quite honestly because I knew I was breaking his heart and so Yes, and actually it's been one of the harder Breakups for me in the sense. We're like normally I'm like I'm done great. I'm moving on I never even think about the guy again, but I think

I've had a lot of guilt about it, and I feel really bad. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He really is so sweet. And yeah, so it's been hard for me to let it go. And we've stayed in touch, too, and I think that probably makes it harder, as well. Would you give it another old wrap around? No. No, old wrap around.

As much as I love, you know, getting between the sheets with him. No, she's all playing with her neck. No, I have to just close that door. She's like, no, I'm fucking healing, all right? Yeah, we're in our healing process. No, I actually, I'm kind of dating someone else now. Can we know who it is? I'm not going to say who it is, and it's really new, but is he in the spotlight also?

He is a retired athlete, which I will tell you. You love the athletes. Fuck, they love me, I think. Yeah, they always find me. I love that. But he's, you're a wag. So I'm a fucking wag through and through. He's such a good guy and he really, it's new, but he checks all the boxes where I'm like, fuck, this is what I've been needing. So we'll see. We'll see. He's coming in a couple days to stay with me. Tell us who it is and we'll bleep the name out. Okay, bleep it out.

Okay, I don't know who it is. Yeah, he's he wasn't like a big. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know because I don't know athletes really that much. But yeah, he retired a couple years ago. And he has so much depth and I just like love talking older. He's 40. Good. Yeah, kids. So yeah, we connect on so many different levels, which is awesome. Is it cute?

I'm gonna show you yes, but let me show you like real photos of him not like fucking Yeah, they're photos online. I was like get them in like real real life and they're so much better No, that's how I felt about what was that one Raiders the fire crotch? Oh

He was so damn fine. I think it's less Max Crosby. I was like, we saw him at a game and I was like, who's this? And I said, baby, my new, my sex, my husband, I got my new favorite number as I think 98. And that was his number. And he goes, oh, you're a Max Crosby.

I love it my husband was like go baby go see that's such a good relationship when you're just confident and secure like the fact that you can say that to him I feel like all my ex-boyfriends would be like what oh my god are you gonna leave me for him you know what I mean like that energy and yep I've been in relationship like that I refuse

I won't do it again. It took me a long time when I got with Jay to really understand the the non jealousy because I came from such jealous relationships and I used to get upset with him I'm writing about this in my book actually and I used to get kind of upset with him like do you not love me like why aren't you like fighting for me fight over me you know but I realize that's the toxicity in me yep that wanted that in him and he'd never

He never rose to that occasion. And now I'm just like, God, I couldn't imagine being with a gentleman like that. Like I'll never do that again. Never, ever, ever. I love that for you. That's so nice. You're going to find it too. I know. You're too much of a beautiful woman to not have somebody see how fucking special you are. Thank you. Yeah, it's coming, baby. I can feel it.

Yeah, me too. Let's talk about this home invasion that you were just really like you just recently started talking about it. Yeah, I haven't talked about it because I'm honestly my kids still don't know and even when I talked about it on my podcast and it kind of you know hit the media and stuff I was sort of sitting there like fuck is my oldest gonna say something to me because my he's on he has all the things

My boys have phones and stuff, but he never said anything to me. So I was like, all right, hopefully hopefully he dodged that bullet. Yeah, we won't clip this. Yeah, don't clip this. We won't. So it was actually it was during 2020. So we were in the Bahamas for spring break. And we ended up being there for a month because it was one COVID hit. And I had all my uncommon James jewelry like laid out in my closet.

And earlier in the day, our HVAC unit broke. So we had workers in the house fixing it. And OK, so Camden, my oldest, and I, who this is almost five years ago. So he was like, what, six or seven? Don't make me do math on the spot. But he was sleeping with me that night. So we went to bed.

early so I had no idea where anyone else was in the house and I woke up to the door was opening and the light from the kitchen woke me up and I was so out of it I honestly thought it was Jay and thank God because I go crawling on the bedroom floor I go what the

fuck are you doing? And though this guy is like a fuck, stands up, runs out, and I was like, oh fuck, hit a ski mask on, long block sleeves, black pants, like the whole nine. Like while you're sleeping, sleeping with my fucking baby in bed with me. So I think because

Well, so then I'm like, holy fuck, but I didn't want to wake up Camden. So your instincts just kick in, but I'm like, fuck, I have to go out in this house and figure this out. I have no idea where he is or where Jay is or the kids or whatever. So I grabbed my phone. I text Jay. I'm like, are you awake? No response because it's like 1 a.m. So I'm like, fuck, I go out in the house and I'm just like looking around. I go in another bedroom. No one's there. I go upstairs. Finally, I find Jay.

As soon as I woke up, Jay, I got really nervous. Like before that, I was like a fucking Navy Seal, just like going, like your Instincts. Yeah, your Instincts just kick in. And then once Jay woke up, I was like shaking and I got so scared. Long story short, it was one of the HVAC unit guys. He took all the cash that we had in a backpack, but we got it back. It was like a guy that worked at the resort that we were at. I knew you wanted to go to the Bahamas. I know, not doing it. You know what's fucked up? I've been back to that resort since.

Bitch is like YOLO. Can't scare me bitch. I love that though. You're like, you know what, I'm going to go back into space and head on like space your fears. Yeah, you know, yeah. And I so that's like one of those things that I won't tell my kids that until they're older. But unless, you know, I keep talking about it and they find out. But it's crazy that you don't have fear from that, you know, because like that's that's scary. It is like a PTSD from that.

I know, I'll tell you what, I don't know. I think even living in LA and stuff, I used to be so scared. Living in this little house that I had in West Hollywood, you know, you're on top of your neighbor, the whole thing, but living out here, I'm like 20 minutes from here. In the middle of nowhere, I'm on 130 acres. I feel so safe. Like so safe. I'm, again, just at peace. Yep.

And it's just a good feeling, I don't know. Yeah, I feel, I've got German shepherds, I've got a gun, I've got the whole thing. So it's like, I just said, bitch, I'm strapped with dogs. Yeah, don't get it twisted. But I just, yeah, I feel really, really safe out here. I love that. Yeah, it's a good feeling. What does 2025 have in store for you?

That's a good question. I hope to just continue to just kind of be where I'm at. I used to be such a planner and be like, I need to do X, Y, and Z this year. And I've gotten into this more of a headspace of just letting life unfold. And that's not to say I don't have goals. I'm going on a podcast tour. There are really fun things happening. But I'm just kind of letting it all happen. So I don't know. Whatever happens happens. Just letting the universe just come to you freely.

I love where you're at in life. I love the space that you're in. I feel like you've fought to be here and it's, you know, something to be proud of. Thank you. Appreciate that. A lot of people don't figure it out and a lot of people, you know, victimize themselves. Are they, you know, uh, wallow and self pity and you're just out here to be like, you know what, this has happened. I did this. I did this. I take accountability and I'm moving the fuck on.

Well, because there's no growth in the victim mentality, you know? So yeah, you got to take a take charge of your life. Like, that's what I would tell people. Take your life in your own hands and do the damn thing. I love it. Yeah. I'm going to be doing that with you in 2025. I'm planning like a birthday trip for me and I never do that. Good. The first time I've celebrated my birthday and I can't even.

Yeah, she was shook. But and I want to go, but I want to go out of the country. And so like this year, I'm just kind of like, I have worked my ass off my whole life. I just want to fucking kind of have fun this year. I might even drink some alcohol. All right. And I've been sober since 2017.

You know, so I'm like, look at Haley's. Hey, I got I drink a beer with Haley one night. Are you sober sober? You California. So I'm sober sober. Amazing. I white knuckle through life, baby. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's brutal. It's brutal. But I had to. I had to do it for my spiritual and, you know, emotional healing that I had to go through. No, I get it. When I hit 40, now I'm about to be 45. So I'm like, you know what? I've done the work. Yeah. Let me fucking just have fun.

There you go. See, I love that. Good. You should go have some fun. No, that's why I understand where you're at, too. Just letting things happen. So yeah, I love it. Thank you for coming on the podcast. I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you so much. We actually get to end the season with Kristen, right? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. So you're like our season finale, baby. Yeah. It's going out with a bang. Yes. Well, thank you. Thank you and tell people where they can find you if they don't know. So just Kristen Cavalieri, Instagram on TikTok, and then let's be honest, my podcast every Tuesday. Yeah.

Yeah, you guys go check her out. You'll fall in love with her just like I did. I love you. What is it in 2020? 2006? 2004. 2004. Oh, fuck. I can't remember. 20 years. 20 years ago. Yeah, it's wild. Makes me feel old and sane. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumbland. I will see you guys next season. Bye.