"Jim Gaffigan"

Hey guys, I got a mouthful of English muffin with a glass full of apple juice here on the rocks. Thank you very much. And I'm here with my surprise guest today who is a clapping sea lion. Oh my god. This is by the way, before Jason and Will are on. Welcome to Smarlett Smart.

Crazy. I can't see surprise guests yet. Maybe they're not supposed to. Wait, how does it work? You're not supposed to. By the way, he won't stop clapping. Oh, we got a live one? Yeah, we have one. Oh boy.

I might want to just get right to this guest and do our chat afterwards. We're going on over here. We had, by the way, what a wonderful dinner we had last night. We had a nice dinner, didn't we, the three of us? We really did. Listen, the three of us don't really get a chance to have just a three top. Not since the early 90s. It went really well. Sean generously picked up the bill. I know, kind of sneaky like. Very sneaky. I got to be honest. How are you doing it?

I know, I know it's nice to do, but consider this sometime. And again, I don't want this to seem like I'm being ungrateful because it was very nice of you. So thank you. This is all dressed up and a thank you. But keep in mind. I got a heart out in five minutes. Other people might want to have the opportunity to do that as well. So you don't want to take away from other people. Well, the ability. Save it. Will's got about the fucking shortest fucking T-Rex arms you'll ever find at a dinner table.

this fucking guy. You could fucking, you could drop a check on fire in front of him and he wouldn't bat it out. He wouldn't touch it. He just let it catch his fucking pants on fire before he touched a birding check. That is, that is so untrue. That is patently untrue. I'm wrong. He's shot one of the crew members to fight through.

Yeah, a bear just walked through your living room. A bear crew member.

I'm not talking of livestock. We ate a lot of cooked cow last night. And I woke up at 2.30 in the morning and had to chug Pepto Bismol because my stomach is so unused to... It was like a four pound steak. It wasn't that steak. So good going down though. Oh yeah, it was great. No, I love that. It was so good. Actually, you know what Sean, after you left us, we went and tried

We were both stuffed with ties. We only went five more blocks after you. Oh, yeah. That fucking steak sandwich. We're at Bradley's house, and he's got his steak sandwich. You know, he's opening a steak sandwich shop in the Lower East Side. Yeah, so good. By the way, he made them for all of us. Danny and Coops, something like that? I think that's right. Is it Danny and Coops? Check it out. I think it's on Avenue A, he said.

Yeah, in the lorry side it's got makes just so good. I think what did he tell me did he say in the menu? It's just six sandwiches. Yeah, either with cheese or without period. No with onions or without. Oh, God. Right. Right. It's going to be huge. So after that menu after that that meal we had last night, Jason, I go over there and then Bradley's literally cooking these up in his house and he goes here we go and he's got these.

kids there and a bunch of other people. And he's like, here you go. And we're like, no, man, we just had an absolute feast. And then within 20 minutes, JB gets up. And has me. Well, no wonder you got up at 2.30 in the morning. But because he walked me through the whole process of how he got the recipe from this guy who makes the best steak sandwiches in Philadelphia. And then Bradley perfected it over a year because he just loved these sandwiches so much. He taught himself how to cook them. And then the first thing I know.

open up an annex, it's so good. Don't you remember, you made them for us like, I don't know, eight, nine months ago. They're so good. Yes, I do remember it. Anyway, it was really, and I ended up having one too, and they were absolutely delicious. And I walked back because... First of all, I got two things to say about it.

So when we got it from the number one, when we got it from the table last night at dinner, Jason, you pulled the side and said, I got to run in the bathroom and cook. So me and Will went outside and waited for you. I should have thrown it all up at that point. Taking it all out of me. The bathroom. And then we're standing there.

and then you come out and both Will and I are like, wait a minute, who's this fucking guy coming up and talking to us out of the blue? He's like, it's crazy. And I thought. And you thought I'm like, yeah. And he's like, who's this twink?

I don't even know what a twink is. Is that better about that? No, you're a twink. So listener, they're talking about because I've looked like Jesus Christ for the last nine months, basically. I'm playing this guy with long hair and long beard and all that stuff. And I just cut it all off because we came to the end of that. The number of people, and Sean, you're probably the same, who have come up to me,

As if I'm your wife over the last six months ago, or texted me, people have gone so far going, hey, what's up with Jason? How come he's here so long? And I'm like, he's an actor. What do you think? But they all assume, I love it. Nobody assumes that I would be doing it for any sort of acting part. You don't even think you're in trouble. Everybody thinks I've been in trouble. They go there instead of like, well, he's not much about that. Spinning's not going to change his love for a part. He must have just hit fuck it. And we've got to send him some money.

Why did Marty Berg take? And then you dropped me off, and then we said, I went, I'm like, well, where's Uptown? Because I'm still lost downtown. Like, I don't understand. And he would just go that way. I was walking for like 20 minutes. I'm like, I don't have a block from 8th Avenue. And he walked all the way into the Hudson River. I was, I have no idea where I was. I was scared out of my mind.

And then I asked these four people, I'm like, do you know where in like uptown, like which direction the uptown is? Well, first give us your wallet. You got mugged. You asked people which direction uptown is. I know. And it was a young married couple and then in-laws. And the married couple was like, yeah, you go that way. And then the mom of the in-laws goes, oh my God, William Grace. And then the two young married couples are like, oh my God, smartless. And then the dad goes,

But just to make sure to keep me real, he goes, I don't know who the hell you are. Right? And I go. Isn't that the funniest instinct that people have? I've had people come up and go like, hey, my friends want to pick. I have no idea you. I want to know pick you out of a lineup of one. Yeah, you're zero to me. Yeah, you're zero. That's basically. But anyway, they want to get a pick. And you're like, okay, well, thanks for telling me, man. I didn't ask. Anyway, let's get into our guest. He's been waiting long enough.

Honestly, I feel like, why are you crying? This is like the way we've on earth. Okay. That's not going to do it. Okay. This guy makes me laugh so hard. I love this guy. We've got a lot in common, both Midwestern boys, large Irish families. Interesting fact, he's been in over 200 commercials. He's performed for the Pope.

I think that means stand-up. And how when he was... To country commercials, that's amazing. And how when he was eight, he stood in line for two hours to meet Jimmy Walker from Good Times just to have him sign Dino Mind.

Well, today we get the other explosive Jimmy guys. It's the brilliant, the prolific, the funny, the lovable Jim Gaffigan who we love. Oh, wow. Gaffigan. Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I'm a big fan of yours. Oh, geez. Oh, man. Oh, man. You guys went to dinner last night. I don't know why. And I think the listeners should know this, that you made me be the waiter, which I thought was strange.

Well, just as a rehearsal, you know, hear us out, Jim. We just figured that you know how real you like to keep it. Yeah, I mean a lot of people should know that Sean Hayes does not tip. No, not financially. I said, is this it? Do you need change? And he said, I need you to change your attitude.

Oh my god. Jim, do you still have that autograph that says Dynamite from Jimmy Wong? No. No, I love that. I only remember that because I saw a photo of it because I had a Dynamite hat.

Yeah, I'm probably older than all you guys. But like, there was a big, I mean, Will looks the oldest, but like the big question is that, what is it? No, I think it's, Will could be like, well, I think Will would be, there is, a lot of people don't know, he's doing a movie where he's playing Gavin Newsom's dad. Yeah.

This is the Arnett roast. Well, we didn't want to tell you before we got started. You know, well, I just do that because I'm scared. I'm intimidated. Three buddies. I'm the new kid. I don't know how to fit in. You're so safe here. You're already fitting in beautifully. The dirty little secret about this podcast is it really doesn't matter who we have on as a guest because we don't let them talk anyway. We just like ourselves talk. You're on cruise control for the next hour.

Jim, we don't know each other well, but you came up to, very kindly to Canada and did that hospital benefit. Do you remember this? Yeah, or did you block it out? No, I remember it. I remember it very clearly. He was, you were hilarious. Absolutely crushed. Always is. And you always crushed. Yeah, I know, because you've been having a crush. He never pushes, never pushes. Just trying to get my dad to like me. And I don't know if it's going to work. Is dad still with us?

No, he's been dead for like 20 years. You're waiting for a message? He's right over here. He's just off camera. When you're here, wake up. I've been every morning, I'm like, wake up. He's really tired. He's really tired. He just put new eyes on him every day. Yeah, he's just... Hey, how did you get to be in 200 commercials? I'm actually envious of that.

I was on this show, Silver Spoons. No. That was Jason. No, there was an era in the 90s where they really loved the idea of the dumb white guy in every commercial. And I was like, I'll do that.

Did those two? I did a ton of them. Yeah, a lot of them white guy work. And I love it. I immediately started thinking, oh, wait, this is one of those guys that's got one of those campaigns. It's like, you know, like the Jack in a box guy, the progressive girl. Yeah, exactly. Whether you can, it would add up quickly.

Yes, I would do, I did Rolling Rock and Saturn, which was a car company. Sure did. And this is back in the days when they would pay, right? Oh my gosh. You get about 30 grand. There was life change. By the time a national commercial is done with its cycle, right? Wasn't it about, you could count on about $30,000? Absolutely. How many brands did you think, do you think?

I would say, rolling rocks for one. Saturn for two. So you were born in Elgin, Illinois. Is it Jimmy? Yeah, Jimmy. When I was a little kid, I was Jimmy. Now, where are you from, Strong? Glenn Ellen. So it's like 20 minutes from Elgin. Yeah. Well, we moved pretty quickly to Northwest Indiana. I mean, when I was eight, I guess. And you wanted to be a farmer? I did. What kind of, what did you want to farm?

You know, I think corn, I just sure. It's weird. I'm not soybeans. Not something sexy like soybeans or rye, but corn. You're like a normal plant.

No, I did want to be a farmer. But I also wanted to be an actor. I know early on, and your dad was the CEO of the Mercantile National Bank of Indiana. So crazy. And then you wanted to be, and what did he think of you wanting to be an actor? He thought it was pretty fucking stupid. No, my parents were children of

like their parents went through the depression. So the whole objective was to seek security. And I think my family had been in the country and my father was the first one to go to college. But before that, everyone was coal miners. So it was just like, we finally got to the middle class and you want to become a showperson. It was just absurd. It was like, why throw it away?

Yeah, but it's interesting because this happens all the time. We talk about this all the time. You're the youngest of six. I'm the youngest of five. And it seems to be like a lot of people we talk to, the youngest and the family always wants to be the actor or the performer or the attention seeker, I guess. Isn't that weird? Well, the alcoholism was so significant by the time we were teenagers. Yeah. Were you close? Were you close with your dad?

My dad was this huge influence on me, but it was weird. I think it was mostly trying to make my mom laugh, but...

You know, the whole father relationship is so complex. And again, I think, I don't know about with you, there was such a parental fatigue that had hit by the time I was a teenager. My dad was like, I didn't even sign up for any of this. You know what I mean? And having children myself, I'm kind of like,

Can we, can they go to boarding school or middle school? Can they do that? It's just, it's exhausted, right? And so... You say you do have children yourself or you don't? Yes, yes. I have five. I have five. Oh my God, wow. That's a lot of kids. I'm a very fertile guy. How old is your youngest, Jim? He just turned 12. Oh wow. And wow.

And I feel like with every kid, there was a reason for me to like him. You're like, all right, this one likes me so much. I like him. And then my youngest one looks like me. And so I'm like, all right, I got a mini me. I got to be excited about that.

It is amazing, right? Like how you have, you develop these different relationships with the kids based on completely different stuff. I mean, I know you're kind of making a half a joke, but like there is something to be said for like, well, the initial bond started because that little thing that couldn't speak or do anything yet has an attraction to me. And there's a, it's almost like a puppy. Like kids are like puppies before they can speak. Yeah, of course. Yeah, totally.

Oh, they jump on my lap all the time. And so well, I like you too. And now you're my favorite pet. And then your role changes. And you're like, OK, I'm the peacekeeper between because daughters and mothers go through some weird crap. And now I'm kind of buttros, buttros, golly here, trying to keep some teeth. And then there's just different ones where you're like, all right, I'm the evil cop.

that, you know, has to be the disciplinarian. Yeah. Or the one kids actually, less, less, less, like a puppy, much, much more like a cat. So they're, they're difficult. Like they, they don't give you the time of day. So you end up being very drawn to that one. You know, I got to win that one over, right? Independence. I know you've got almost a half a dozen there. It must be. Yeah. My relationship with my kids is so good. I don't have to like worry about roles. We just cry. Sorry. I just want.

Just click, click, click, right? Jim, you don't really think I look older than the other guys, too. Sorry, it's not. Let's double back a little bit. Check on that. Okay. Now, Jim, where are you? Are you in Los Angeles, New York? I'm in New York. Yeah, I'm in New York. That's cool. Have you been in New York a long time?

I've been here for 35 years. I've done some time in, you know, when I was on a show, I would be in LA for six months or six weeks. I did pilot season. Oh, yeah. Every year. Now, your time in Los Angeles, is this something you kind of, you know, hold your nose and kind of get through it? Or do you like it out there?

I don't have anything against Los Angeles. I mean, I'm not a fan of sunlight, but I'm very much, too much show business is not good for my mental health. That's what I like about New York, that you have friends that are not in the business and you can kind of separate yourself from it, if that makes sense. And we will be right back.

And now back to the show. Do you ever worry that like by having that healthy kind of distance from show business and the pursuit of it and all that stuff that you run the risk of not going to the places that you want to go career wise? I ask because these guys always always keep me in check and give me proper ridicule about how sort of on my keeping my eye on the ball I am about like.

what's happening in the business tree and and what should I be doing next and all that stuff I can't help it but I envy those that that have a healthy distance from us grew up in it so that's a little different in that way yeah yeah yeah I feel like I've definitely

I think my career might be completely different if I lived in LA. I mean, it is 99% of the business. Right. But it's also, I don't want to sound like the person, you know, like there's a, you know, like, I'm now like Sam Shepard said, I'm on a farm in Virginia. Right, right, right, right. You can fact me only. You know what I mean? It's like, I wish I could be that guy. I mean, I definitely care. I'm definitely the guy who's,

you know, uh, works really. I'm the guy who does his homework here. I mean, I don't even know, uh, I don't even know my agent's name. No, yeah. You've been able to stay so relevant for so long. You've had this really long career and yet you've able, you've been able to, you know,

live outside of it to a certain extent, yeah? Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's admirable. Jim, how many years, what was your first break and how many years have you been doing stand-up? I've been doing it for like 35 years. And was it always stand-up first or was it an actor first and then you wanted it? It was a little bit of both, but it was

I would say, yeah, it was, you know, stand up was something I always did, but I always wanted to act. But there's such fantastic actors in New York. Yeah, but the Jim Gaffigan show was hilarious. I want to give the stand up. What was the first night? What was the first time you were like? The first time I was so

You know, there's such an audacity necessary to go into this business, right? But it also would stand up to go on stage that

I waited till someone dared me. I had a fear of public speaking, so I took an improv classes way before UCB existed. And in the improv class, someone was like, there's a stand up seminar. This is in 1990, 1991. Is this New Yorker or Chicago or New York? And then I, so I did stand up for the first time.

And it was, I fell in love immediately. And then... How about that? Kind of bombed for six months. Yeah. Did you write jokes that first time, or did you just kind of wing it? What'd you do? Oh, yeah. No, it was, I did this. It was kind of like a seminar thing. It was like someone really holding your hand. Okay. It wasn't like me and my buddies went to a club and I got on stage and it was magic.

Do you still like, what is your, the oldest joke that you still have in your rotation? Like still one from that, from the, from the early years at all? I mean, it's, it's, I, you know, at this point, I, you know, I haven't done jokes from

back then for at least a decade. And sometimes I'll write a joke and I'll think, oh, this is great. And then, you know, my wife will be like, you know that was on like your third special, that joke. I'm like, oh, all right. I don't even remember that. Done it, Joe. You already complained about your kids that way. Does she dabble in our industry as well?

Yes, so she did directing and she also was the show runner of the Jim Gaffigan show and when we were

But initially when we stand up, we used to totally, once we were married, we rode together. And then with five kids, you're lucky to have a conversation with your partner. Wait, so she's a showrunner for Jim Gaffkin's show. So you had an overall with the network or with the studio. That was before cable completely fell apart, even though I guess it's coming back.

We had a deal at CBS. We did two rounds of pilots. They were committed to single-camera comedies and then they weren't. And so they released us and we

We had an offer from a couple cable things, but like the most attractive offer came from TV land. TV then was gonna do this massive rebranding thing. And of course, we were like, all right, yeah, great. And then we went over there and then like a month before the show started airing, they, yeah, we're not gonna do a massive rebranding.

Shawnee did some TV land work. Yeah. We did. We produced with Betty White. Hot and Cleveland. Yeah. Wait a minute. Were you on? Was teachers you guys or? No, that was Melissa. I thought in Cleveland with Betty White. Yeah. That was the first. I think that was the first show that launched. Yeah, I think that was the big. That was part of the big TV land relaunch. Yeah, we got lucky.

Wait, so what network was Jim Gavikin show on that I forget? It was on TV Land. It was on TV Land. So you and your wife write the pilot together or she writes the pilot? I wrote the pilot with Peter Tolin. Oh, yeah. And then... And then... Really funny, yeah. And he was under a Sony deal and so he couldn't go...

when we went to T.B. Land. I mean, sometimes they re-aired every episode on Comedy Central, so that's where people would end up seeing it. Yes. So wait, so God, so much. Oh, wait, by the way, we, I heard you love to go to Steakhouse after each stand-up thing. I love Steak, yeah. We just had, we just went to a Steakhouse last night. Great Steakhouse. You ever been to Strip Steakhouse? Strip? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and so do you guys try how often do you guys get together and pretend they're like each other? Yeah, not very hard. We're not that good at acting No, we have we have dinner quite we have dinner when we're on time like once a week, but it was with Everybody in family. Yeah, just the three of us is a rare thing. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's what's also so great about whenever I do

podcast is like it forces you to have these conversations with your friends because things can spin out of control and and it's like getting paid to hang around your friends is not bad. That's how this started. I know you guys donate all your money. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. All the money is donated. Yeah. Which is amazing. Are you worried though? Like

I do think about, because I love steakhouse too, like in an LA. I'm sure Sean's still on the steak, sorry. I can't wait to hear what Jim might be worried about in the steakhouse industry. What does it sound like? I mean, or jump in if you want.

But I love... Please finish this. I like the simplicity of the menu. There's like six things. Because remember Jerry's deli in Los Angeles. Remember Jerry's deli? You sit down. I bet cheesecake factory much really pissed you off. Cheersecake factory too. It's a book and it's like 200. And I almost have to get up because my anxiety, like there's too many choices. I can't do it. But at Steakhouse, it's like there's four things here and there's four sides. What do you want? The sauce is it get me pissed off at a steakhouse though. I never know which way to go.

That's why I always do catch up. I always do catch up with my steak. You are Midwestern. Yeah, I like it. I like it at a steakhouse when they kind of show you the meat or they show you a potato. We got a potato. We got this lobster flown in from Maine. It's just like, it's like so dumb guyish like, Hey, you're a dumb guy. This is a potato. We can cook it for you. I love it. Yeah.

Now, I know I'm jumping all around, but I want to go back to your career. Jimmy, when you first did Beyond the Pale, that was your first stand-up special, and you had, I don't know how many after, and what blew my mind is how many Grammys you've been nominated for. How many times have you been nominated?

I think seven times, but you know, I'm never going to win one, but like that's crazy. That's amazing. Well, because some of it is like, I'm just so thrilled that the Grammys even include, you know, stand up comedy. And in the end, there's always, you know, some very important newsworthy comedic event that's occurred, you know, whether it be

you know, Chappelle doing anything or like, you know, one year was Weird Al Yankovic had did the first comedy album in 25 years. It's like, obviously he's going to win. You know what I mean? Right, right, right, right. Yeah, but I don't know. I think it's pretty. You're right. You're never going to win.

Which is the award with the circle that spins around. Is that the Tony? Sean, right? Does it spin? It does spin. It does. Wait, do you have it there? Is it an LA? It's an LA.

All right. The gram is the one with the horn. By the way, it's so funny. That's the gravophone. Yeah. With the horn. It's funny. And Jim sometimes just sit back and just... Just marvel. You just point the pointer and these two little kiddies, they just go all over the room.

I usually ask people like if they have any crazy theater stories, but in this case do you have any crazy like fan stories that you have that like any kind of insane out of all of the Well out of all the touring you've done for sure a bit of the specials or the tour or just somebody insane Didn't ever stop. Yeah, no, there's I mean, there's definitely you guys were talking about

I feel like I'm so goofy looking. So I'm very recognizable if you know who I am. You look like John America. That's what you look like. But like a pale version of it. So it's like I'm either the guy that shovels your driveway or I'm Jim Daffigan, right? So there is.

So I could be, and I have horrible vision. But because I'm pale and goofy looking, people can see me from far away. They're like, oh, is that, hey, is that Jim Gaffigan? And I can't see who they are, because I'm blind. But you've been loved and on television or some form of media for so long, you must not be able to walk down the street often without getting stopped or going, hey, hey, that's, hey, yeah, do you get a lot of that?

Yeah, a lot, you know, like, I'm playing, I'm, you know, I've provided them a riddle, you know what I mean? Like, hey, do I, how am I supposed to know you in your life? Yeah, you catch a lot of people just staring at you from across the room trying to, trying to figure it out. Especially in strip clubs, they're always like, who is that guy? Oh, yeah. Because it's too dark, you know, like, you got five kids. What are you doing here? Yeah. I'm trying to get a six-kit. Yeah. Take their phone out, click.

No, but you were you were maybe gonna tell us go down. Oh, yeah, you know what I would say is the the you know, there is a theater story I did that championship season. Wow Broadway and it was

The amount of testosterone in the cast was absolutely insane. It was me, Kiefer Sutherland, Brian Cox, Chris Noth, and Jason Patrick, whose dad wrote the play. And so it's a great play and it was

But like, so like, when you talk about theater stories, we went, I mean, it's also like this, this last, I think of like, there's this last generation of people that, and there's a segment of this generation that drink like our parents did. And those guys are those guys. And so every night, we would, every night was like a, it was,

The stamina is just bizarre. Like, these guys can throw it away and then get up and do a matinee. And I was just like, I can barely walk. But I wonder how that's... I'd love to check in on those fellas now and see how it's aging, you know? Because at some point, you do pay the bill, you know? Just the stamina isn't forever.

Well, I'm sure they're all doing, but like they were, it was so bizarre to go out on stage, because I always had this vision of Broadway being, oh my, you know, like people in top hats and stuff like that. It's like people would walk out and say 24, a section they said, you know, it was just bizarre how it was. It was that people were going to so they could see Mr. Big.

Right, right, right, right, right. But yeah, people really, really like it. But your earlier stand-up stuff, is there, when you were first starting, is there... Oh, yeah. Do you tend to remember the good performances more than the bad ones? Are you like... I tried to block out some really humiliating things, but I did a show on Long Island at Governors, and

And Long Island is great, but like parts of Long Island, it can be not necessarily combative, but just kind of. And I would walk on stage when I started looking like the farm boy that I wanted to be.

these, you know, like these New Yorkers would be like, look at this guy, you know what I mean? And so like early 90s comedy was very combat driven. Like this guy is just a pussy, you know what I mean? And so I remember I was, I was on stage. It was a late show at governors and I got on stage and someone in the audience was mowing. They were actually mowing.

And I was like, oh, this is great. OK. So because I'm from Indiana, they're moving. And so then I've tried to deal with the heckler. And normally, you have a microphone. You have an advantage. But it didn't really work. And so then eventually,

There was enough slack on my foot. So I walked into the audience to find out who this mowing person was. And there was somebody severely handicapped lying in a hospital bed who could only articulate. No, Jim.

Only communicate back on moon. So I had spent a good 20 minutes tearing into this severely disabled. They had the keyboard and everything. But the crowd had known. And I was like, all right, I'm just going to kill myself. And they were very forgiving. And the person loved the attention. But that was probably the

That's quite a story. Sean, have you learned your lesson? Never ask that question again. Do you have a clear... I'm sorry if you've answered this question a million times, but do you have a clear preference between stand-up and acting? Because you've done tons of both. One, the words come beforehand, the other, the words come after.

I love doing both of them because I think that stand-up is such a bizarre existence at night and stuff like and it's so solitary and it can

whereas the collaborative thing of acting is so amazing. But I think the process of getting acting jobs is so maddening that I would totally lose my mind if I had to rely just on that emotionally.

Yeah, I mean, some of us, yeah, it's job security to have created an audience. And you can control in one lane of your career. You're fully in control of that. You can sit down and write some great stuff. You can get the creative fulfillment, whereas...

You know, I've done a lot of dramas, but to this day, I had a meeting two days ago, and I've done tons of dramas, and people are always, they all have the idea, what if we put Jim Gaffigan in a drama? And I'm like, all right, I mean, most of them have been Indies, but like, I'm like, and you wanna be polite and go, yeah, sure, that would be great, even though like, I've been doing that for a long time. Yeah, for sure, for sure.

We'll be right back. And now back to the show. Do any of your kids share the business tree passion?

Yeah, I think, you know, my, I've toured doing stand up with my 18 year old son. He's really funny. Oh, no way. So like he opens for you or closes for you or together? Yeah, he's done. Yeah. You know, like really, that's cool. You know, last couple of spring breaks. We've done that, but it's such a weird business. It's like, and my oldest daughter, who's 20, has really loves acting. And I'm like, you know, there's no jobs, right? There's just,

You want to, and so I'm like, if you want to, you have to create your own job. So I'm like, I'll pay for film school, but like there's no, you know, that- It's not like it used to be. Yeah, it's- It is a tough thing because you can't walk around with that diploma and sort of guarantee yourself at least an entry level position. It's so cruel.

But it's even different from it used to be like you talked about policies and commercials. You could have been able to commercial. You did commercials. Like when I was a young actor, it was I supported myself doing voiceovers that a time voiceover is in and around New York. And then every year by about January for a few years, I would fly out to California.

in, well, not every year. Sometimes I would go for like a month and sometimes, but you'd have pilot, at least pilot auditions couple a day here in New York. And you do, you do this circuit, right? You go to all the places and then they'd fly you out. And there was like, there was a good chance. Once you kind of got in the mix, there was a good chance you might get a job, you get a pilot.

It wasn't the rest of the development year, like the last year you were going to do this goddamn pilgrimage out to Los Angeles for Pilotsies. No, I got fired the year before and I wasn't going to do it. And I didn't audition for anybody. Deb Burilsky reached out and said, well, come on, Will, please just put yourself on tape or something like that. Well, I was like, I'm not going to do the TV initiative. They're really going to feel the pain of me not being around. Wait till I show them.

All right, I think a rest of development I tested for that or I was or wait Maybe not network test but a studio test what part I think the David Cross one. Yeah, okay, but I Think that great. No, it's even worse than that it was Because there's also during policies and there's like do you want to commit to this pilot? Do you want them in first position? Yes, and I think I had been

offered a pilot to be in first position. And I was like, all right, fine. Yeah, let's do that first position. It was garbage. But I'm like, all right, fine. I just want to act. And then, because I had worked with Mitch Hurwitz the year before on Ellen DeGeneres' sitcom. And he's like, hey, why don't you come in at audition for this? Because I had been

schmoozing him to get a part on it because obviously he's brilliant right and so but I and then I and then he was like yeah you're in first position and this is a low budget thing we can't have anyone in because we're gonna do it oh yeah because remember the premise was like that they were gonna do it in a different way yeah remember it was written maybe he wrote that cover letter on it

Yeah, if you want a dressing room larger than a honey wagon, this job's not for you. Don't even bother auditioning. Mike Terry, who works on our show, who he sent me, his wife worked for Debrilsky, I think it was. He sent me recently.

the list of people, and my name's on it, of people who were sent, you know, because I eventually put myself on tape here in New York. I was doing a play in New York, and I was so bummed about being fired from this show the year before that I was like, I'm not going to do another done fuck, fuck sitcoms, I don't do that. It's beneath me. Like, I kind of tried to flip it in my mind that I'm above it.

because I'd been fired. And anyway, so I went and I read for Deb Burrowski, but Mike just sent me, I've got in my office at home of the sign-in sheet or whatever. Mitch sent me the videotape of my actual audition for Michael Bluth. I've got it on my computer. And that was the last day you ate, right? Like, that's why you start thinking. I've been swimming ever since.

I just look too puffy. Jim, I forgot that you were on that Ellen show with Mitch that year before I remember that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Martin Mo was on that show. That was so...

We loved Martin Mull. It was so, I mean, he was such a sweet guy. And he was so bizarre to see this guy that I had watched on Fernwood tonight. Yeah, Fernwood tonight was great. I mean, it was just, and you know, as, I mean, I know I'm older than you guys, but like you have to understand that was,

That was the bizarre, him and Fred Willard. That was like my first exposure to like, bizarre comedy. And they did like cutting edge super racy. It was so clever because it was, I love that show. Well also, I had no idea that Martin Mo was this brilliant painter. Like he went to art school to be a painter. And then he would just tell stories about Steve Martin, which was amazing. Yeah, Jason, is that a Mo behind you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a mall right there. I got this one cheap. Jim, tell me about like unusual jobs before you got all this work when you were starting. I started off. Well, I studied finance, but then that's wild. You went to school. I was I was a copywriter in an advertising agency. Really?

I think it was really helpful in learning some, you know, some word economy and efficiency of writing. But it was, I was the weird guy in the corporate setting like, Jim's crazy. You know, like he's snapping in his room. Meanwhile, I, you know, I got like three hours to sleep the night before. But yeah, there was, uh,

I was definitely, I was the last of my friends to have a day drop because I think the remnants of that retaining security had really stayed with me and I also knew that I didn't want to

just do some horrible bar gigs and I tried to limit some of the humiliation. Do you keep up with financing? Is that still like kind of like a hobby of yours? I didn't really. I still, I don't know anything about finance and it's like I went to college and

I even took around about that in my new special. It's really sad. I have middle schoolers and I look at their math and I'm like, did they introduce new numbers? Because I don't know what's going on. Also, if I looked at the Wall Street Journal financial section, I wouldn't know. I probably passed a class in it.

Yeah, got it. But speaking of your special, it's called The Skinny. It's on Hulu right now. Yes. And so this is number 11. This is the 11th special. Good Lord. Isn't it amazing? It's crazy. And I'm only 22. Jim, that's pretty impressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty cool. Thanks. What did you say? It's the 11th of 22. You've decided to be 22 years old. You're only 22 years old. Oh, oh, oh. Where do you see? I mean,

What do you, as a performer, do you see yourself as you sort of get older that you want to keep making special? Do you like the process of making specials or do you get a thing? You're like, I just want to act more because the specials, I've kind of, I've done 11 of them and I don't, or does it,

Where does the fire live? It's all self-assignment, right? Like every aspect of this business, right? We have this notion that someone's sitting at a counter at a soda shop and someone comes up. It's like, you have to like steer it. You have to sit there and go, I want to do this. But what I love about writing stand-up is

that it's something I have control over. So it's like, look, I would love it if I didn't have time to do it as much as I do. And I have turned down a fair amount of, I mean, I love just complex characters. And so if it's a good acting role, I'd love to do it. But like if it's,

some kind of silly comedy where I would have fun doing it, but it wouldn't be something great. And also I have kids, so I have to be very selective on why I'm going out of town. But I do a lot of indies where I make nothing.

Do you still go, do you still go and like jump on stage of the comedy show and places like that? Absolutely. I tried, you know, that's why we're still in New York City. I mean, I wanted my kids to be New Yorkers, but also I, you know, it's so great. I can just go and do a show at, you know, Gotham or

you know, the New York Comedy Club, and then I can be home and, you know, try and tear the screens away from the kids, you know? Yeah, yeah. Your life sounds frickin' perfect. I want to come back as Jim Gaffigan. It's far from it, but thank you. What's your favorite non-comedy or non-businessy thing? I know you love gardening. Yes, I do love gardening. Where do you get a chance to do that downtown?

During the pandemic, we got a place in Westchester. And they had some raised beds there, and I love that, but I love gardening. During the pandemic, I got into bourbon. If I'm talking to three people in the entertainment industry, I assume two of you don't drink any longer.

So I was like a beer guy. And then during the pandemic, I kind of got into bourbon. And then, I mean, we've all probably been approached. Maybe you guys have a celebrity spirit, but I didn't want to do that. But I have a buddy from Louisville. And I was like, can't, because some of them are just so bad. So I was like, can't we just pick our own and do this? And he's like, you might just end up with a bunch of barrels of

a bunch of bottles of bourbon, I'm like, that's fine. So, I'm doing that until I go in, until I eventually join AA, I guess in three years. I don't turn a profit first. Yeah. That's right. I think I went from beer to the night I got into brews, like saying, like, I used to do Coke and then I got into crack, because I was like, you know, it's just.

Chathamine is great, it's just a starting point. Well, they always say I'm drinking bourbon in the morning, but it's actually apple juice on the rocks. Oh, there you go. It is. By the way, every step of the way, Jim, Sean will out midwest you in every respect. You can't believe how from the fucking... Do you see how excited he was when he was like, and you're from Oakmont, right? You're from 20 minutes away from there.

And we're always like, isn't that fucking crazy? People are from places. I'm always fascinated that people get out of the place they live to pursue their dreams in other places. I love those stories. I'm really quick lunch today, Sean. Really quick. What's on the menu quickly? What's for lunch, mac and cheese? He's chopping celery for the egg salad right now. Yeah, I think it's going to be, I think it's going to be craft mac and cheese. So you can, so you can still eat like you're in third grade and a little bit.

A little bit. Yeah, I've always got a cookie pouch. Show them the cookie pouch. I got a cookie pouch. There it is. Here it comes. Oh, there you go. That's it. It's not a cookie pouch. No, I thought it was growing up in the Midwest. I used to look around and be like, I mean, I know I wanted to be a farmer and everything, but like... Sure.

I was like, oh, I think there's, I used to, oh, there's been a mistake. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be in New York. And then I got to New York. And I was like, oh, well, I'm finally home. And they're like, you're the most Midwestern looking guy I've ever seen in my life. So I realized how Midwestern I was when I left. Because we look plain. We look plain. We look plain. We blend in. And it's a sexiness. Like it's a beautiful Midwestern. They think sex is, you know.

You know, Tim Wall's sexy, you know. It's not the overalls and let's get after it. Sean, be honest. How long between now and when are you, have you started looking at rascals online? Are you like, what speed am I going to get? Yeah, yeah. I'm just eating your way into a rascal right now. Is that the end goal? You put special tires on that, mags or anything, spinners.

Yeah, Jim, you're the greatest. Thanks for being here today. It's a funny deal. Very nice of you to spend some time with us. I appreciate it. We're all big fans of you. You're such an ex-state dinner. You know, when I wait, you know, your table, please tip. I mean, some of it's for the bus boys. And we'll act like we're going to pick it up next time. Next, I'm going to pick it up all the time. Would you, if we're ever here in New York again and we say, hey, we're going to go to Strip House. Would you join us?

I would totally do that. I'd love to see a set at Gotham first. No, I love it because there's certain excuses. Like when I go out with Seinfeld, I'm like, it's like Jerry wants me to have pizza in my wife's like, I understand. But if I'm just, you know, hanging out, you know, there has to be a reason behind it. Yeah. And you guys are, you know, very high status. Wow. Sure. Yeah. We're worth the cholesterol. I love it.

Wow. Jimmy, the skinny. The skinny. The skinny on Hulu. Thanks for being here, pal. We love you. And thanks for making us laugh for so many, 75 years. Thanks, dude. Yeah. Thanks, Jim. Thanks, Jim. See you bud. Well, I think you look 12. Thank you. That's my opinion. I can't believe he said that. I really found it very hurtful. And you know, and he started, he came kick the door down with it, didn't he? He started right out with it. You know why? I think he's got a crush on me.

Yeah, you are a little intimidated, you know. That's the way I got to frame it. I'm proud of you for working right through that. You know, that could erect the whole interview, but no, you didn't let it happen. I love that he I love that he doubled down on it. It's my kind of joke. Dad.

Mr. Newsom. Mr. Newsom. Oh, he's doing a new sitcom called Mr. Newsom. Yeah. You know, you should send your headshot to Lorne Michaels if Newsom makes a run at it on the next election cycle. Isn't he? He's one of those guys, when you watch him doing a special, like you said, Jason, he's so...

He's so calm. He's not like a loud in your face kind of, right? Yeah, you just kind of start with a grin. He doesn't even need to be talking yet. He's authentic and he's such a nice guy too. Oh my God, I love him. He's so nice. Yeah, I love him. Huge, huge fan. I'm glad we had him. I'm trying to think of a bye. Okay, finally, sing your honesty. Finally, by the way, look at this photo that I just got sent.

Oh my God. Is that Ricky? Wait, so you looked up synonyms or cinnamon or cinnamon treats? I cut you off. I have two tabs open. Okay. Cinnabuns near me.

By the way, that sounds so good. Right? Yeah, I love that. Well, just off your mac and cheese, you guys can jump in the cap. Yeah, mac and cheese. So there's like, there's via, there's through, there's a cross, there's a long, there's near, there's a beyond, there's also a buy. Oh, synonyms to buy.

Yeah, like, well, but what you did is you spelt it wrong. Oh, I did spell it wrong. You need to do the problem. That's right. You spelled it wrong. Oh, my God. Okay. Ready? So there's a view. Take your time, Sean. I read the dirty. I run off.

There's cheerio. No, but we need, sorry, you did not understand the concept. You need to put the word buy into the buy. We don't need to send him a rivet there. She's not going to help you. Here's the thing. We've been doing it so long. Yeah. Right. And so the brain's out. Yeah, we want to believe that. So whatever we come up with, fine, for our audience, we just got to make sure that they buy it. Oh, man, that's not. That's good. That was really good.

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