How to Stop Pleasing and Start Living

Every day is a chance to start fresh, allowing us to focus on the present without the weight of past mistakes or future worries. Just like in tennis, winning isn't about scoring high every time but playing each point as it comes. Embrace the idea of treating each day and each moment as new, focusing on gradual progress rather than perfection. Friendships may go through phases, especially when one partner enters a new relationship, making it essential to give them space while remaining supportive. When they emerge from their self-absorbed phase, they'll often remember and appreciate those who stood by them, helping to maintain the friendship in the long run. Recognizing that mistakes and wins are just a part of the journey makes it easier to be kind to ourselves and to others as we navigate our lives. Today is our green card, a new opportunity to be kind and understand.

When friends fall in love, it's common for them to focus entirely on their romantic partner, which can leave their friends feeling neglected and hurt. It's important to understand that this behavior is natural and often temporary. Friends should try to give grace and avoid guilt as they adjust to this shift. If you're feeling lonely as a friend, it's okay to acknowledge that it's your responsibility to find fulfillment elsewhere. Remember, relationships thrive on genuine desire, not obligation. Being supportive during this transitional phase is key, and friends can reconnect later when the romantic excitement calms down. Embracing this cycle of friendship and love can ultimately strengthen bonds, provided that friends allow each other the freedom to express their joy in those early love stages without guilt or shame.

People often go many years, sometimes into their late 30s or 40s, without realizing they have mental health conditions like OCD, ADHD, or autism. This is especially true for women, as symptoms can present differently than they do in men. New awareness and personal stories from others are helping many individuals better understand their experiences. As women are finding support and community, they report feeling more accepted and have improved their quality of life. The growing recognition of neurodivergence, aided by discussions on podcasts and online platforms, is essential for changing perceptions and ensuring that individuals receive accurate diagnoses and the assistance they need, ultimately leading to a greater understanding of oneself and a relief from feelings of inadequacy. This shift is important for encouraging open conversations about mental health and fostering acceptance of diverse ways of being.

Recognizing the differences between boundaries and control can significantly impact relationships. A true boundary is about what an individual needs for their own comfort and safety, while control seeks to restrict another’s actions. This aspect highlights how fear and insecurity can shape behaviors, particularly in relationships influenced by strict ideologies. When these controlling beliefs spill over into wider contexts, such as workplaces, they further perpetuate systemic inequalities. It’s important for individuals to express themselves freely and develop trust without fear of judgment or restriction. The rise of more open dialogue, thanks to increased access to information, allows people to identify their truths sooner, reducing suffering while enhancing self-acceptance.

Mike Pence's rule of not dining alone with women highlights a belief that women are often seen primarily as temptresses, which undermines their multi-dimensionality and roles beyond their sexuality. This perspective is rooted in evangelical patriarchy and affects both professional interactions and societal views on women’s rights to education and expression, leading to restrictions on how young girls are treated in schools. The focus is heavily placed on controlling women’s appearances and behaviors rather than encouraging men to manage their own impulses. This overly simplistic and harmful view reduces women to their sexuality rather than recognizing their full identities, while also creating a culture of shame and misunderstanding, making it difficult for genuine relationships and professional dealings to flourish in a balanced manner.

People pleasing can be a significant issue in relationships, where some individuals may struggle to express their own needs and preferences. This behavior often stems from trauma and can feel like an addiction, as it involves seeking approval from others to feel validated. Friends and partners of people pleasers can find this exhausting, as they often have to make decisions on behalf of the pleaser. Recognizing that this behavior comes from a deeper emotional place can foster compassion. For healthier relationships, people pleasers should work on becoming more self-aware and expressing their desires, while friends can support them by encouraging decision-making and clarifying their own preferences. Understanding that everyone involved has roles to play helps balance relationships and fosters a more resilient interaction dynamic.

Being in relationships where both parties take care of themselves creates comfort and trust. When both people express their needs and desires openly, there is less pressure and confusion. It's essential to be honest about one’s feelings, as this fosters healthier dynamics. Everyone can be a people pleaser at times, influenced by certain environments or people. Recognizing this allows for better communication and understanding. In situations where you feel the need to please, it becomes vital to prioritize your own needs, respecting your boundaries. This not only helps maintain your well-being but also improves the relationship dynamics. By being direct about what you want and what makes you uncomfortable, you enable others to do the same, which ultimately leads to a more authentic and fulfilling connection. Supporting each other in self-advocacy reduces resentment and promotes deeper trust between individuals.

Eli reached out to the hotline during a tough time, showcasing the importance of having a support system outside of personal relationships. His message highlighted how valuable it can be to have someone to talk to without the complications of personal feelings. Even when facing challenging emotions, having a safe space to express oneself can provide comfort. The hosts expressed admiration for Eli’s willingness to share and let others into his life, emphasizing that connection can help during difficult circumstances. They also recognized the need for more outlets like their hotline so that people can seek support when they feel overwhelmed. Ultimately, the conversation serves as a reminder that leaning on others and sharing feelings is a crucial aspect of handling life’s challenges, making it easier to navigate tough times.