Here Lies Rick Astley

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Sign up for a £1 per month trial period at Shopify.co.uk slash wake. All lowercase. So before we start, if you or the people you're listening with will be offended by f***ing and f***ing. Well, it's probably best you turn this f***ing podcast off right now.

Hello darling listener and welcome to this rotting and rancid recording studio down here in the underbelly of hell.

Oh, what the fuck was that, mate? I thought you were supposed to be singing. Not screeching like a banshee. Yeah, let Auntie Kaif give you some tips. I'll make you a star. It's all in the warm-up, you see. You gotta do all this bullshit. Anyway, do us a favor, yeah, babe? Put the mic down and get yourself on vocal rest. Permanently. Thank you. Welcome to...

There's a way. Well, we sip our honey and lemon to nourish your vocal cords. It's time to welcome this week's guests to the stage. But before we do that, if you want to listen to these episodes ad-free and get all the conversation between me and our gorgeous guests, something you never want to do again. Drive to the studio.

subscribe on Apple Podcast or head to where there's a wheel that's awake.com for the full package. And I guess this week may be passing on, but he will most certainly never let you down, even from the other side. It's the wonderful.

How do you like that? Very nice. Love those harmonies. That's great. Is that you? Is that you? Thank you for that. Yeah, yeah. I love it. That's the lovely rough bones. We've never had our guests sort of big hit incorporated into their name. Cool. That's cool. I love it. It's an honor. Privilege.

I think they had a lovely time. Do you know what? It's very nice to meet you. And you, my love. Because we were both sort of knocking around at the same time. Yeah, for sure. Well, we're still knocking around. Well, we are still knocking around. And I wondered, Rick, because I did with French Saunders, we did, back in the 80s, we did a sort of Mickey take of Banana Rama.

I think it was probably, was it about 86, 87?

I made tea for the girls loads of times, the bananas loads of times, and I've shared a few gin and tonics with them since as well, but I'm dead or alive and all the guys there, because the fabled story is that Pete Walkman signed me because he heard me singing while I was making tea for everybody, and that's not really true, but it's a nice story. It's a better story than you saw me in a working men's club up north. But yeah, I made tea for the girls loads of times.

I've never really got to know them too much because they were kind of cool. Yes. And they ran with quite a cool crowd of people. Do you know what I mean? Whenever they came to the studios, they always came with people who were like proper kind of just been the wag club or been some. Do you know what I mean? Oh God, the wag club. And all the juniors were a bit kind of like intimidated by them. Yes. Do you know what I mean?

But then we're also a bit older than you, you know. But yeah, no. So I don't know. I don't remember you guys doing that there, if you know what I'm saying. So I don't know what you would be. My first single came out in 87, but I was there from about, must have been the beginning of 86 or something like that.

Well, I tell you what, your memoir, never. Let's see what I did there. Yeah, it's a fantastic read. Thank you. I really, really enjoyed it. And I was very fascinated about your childhoods and stuff. But before we get on to your fabulous life, we need to talk about your fabulous death. It's so bizarre, this whole thing about this podcast. But before you peg it, we want to know what would be your

I would go for Italian food, to be honest. I think because it brings back a lot of family members, not early ones, not from a child, or particularly. We didn't really go to Italian restaurants, I think, when I was a kid. It wasn't that much of a thing. It was kind of, you know. But I think we've been to Italy probably on more family holidays than anywhere else. My wife and I particularly love it. We've been all over Italy kind of thing. We've been to Sardinia a lot, though.

It's the age-old thing of you can go anywhere, eat really well. It doesn't cost a lot and no one takes the mix. Do you know what I mean? It's just really good food and really nice. So whenever I think about some of the things that we always eat when we go there, like spaghetti vongol is one of my favorite things anyway, but when you eat in Italy,

Is that the one with the little clamps? Yeah, yeah. Right. But it becomes different, I think, when you're looking at the sea. Yeah. The Mediterranean, especially, and what have you. So that would be my main dish, as it were. But are we going like four courses, then? Is that what we're doing? Well, no, because otherwise we'd be all fucking dying. And we want you to die, basically.

But I'd be very interested to know what wine you'd have with it, because you're a big wine. Well, am I? I'm sort of... I do like wine, yeah. That's a very difficult one, because there's just so much to choose from. To be honest, I would probably do what we did when we were there a lot, which is just have a local rosé. Nice. Because it's like most of the restaurants we went there in beach places, there wasn't really that. That wasn't what it was about, you know what I mean? So I'd just sort of say whatever the local rosé is, I have a glass of that.

I love my toes in the beach, in the sand and in the water. It's spaghetti-vongaly, maybe a tiramisu afterwards, and that'd be nice. Oh, very nice, click it simple. And you mentioned your lovely wife, Lena. Yeah. Have you made her a fucking omelet yet? I mean, because you talk about this in your book, that when you and Earth first got together,

You would quite regularly make her an omelet, which she loved. And then of course, as all relationships get a bit stale. It's got weird though as well because she's having a bit of a reaction and has done quite a while to egg yolks. So sometimes she'll go, I'm just desperate for it and she'll eat it. And it kind of upsets the stomach a little bit. So she started going egg whites a little bit. But it's a bit, a bit loudy down in it.

I can't have an egg white almond. And then everyone's perceiving that you're doing that because it's your figure and you don't want the, and it's like, no, she just won't feel great afterwards. But do you know what? I started to get funny with the old eggs. You must tell Lena. And I just started to make sure that they were well cooked. So instead of having a soft boiled egg, I have a hard boiled egg. And it's OK with it. And it sort of made a difference. OK. I'll mention it to her. I mean, it's funny because I don't.

I mean, with a nominate, it's going to be hard, though, because you don't want a nominate, like, right? Really, no. You've got to get into making a summit, else, Rick. All right, well, I almost, I've just got to get it together. Yeah. I have split a yolk from a Watson before. Yeah. I have done it. Yeah. But I'm not very, I'm not really good in the kitchen, if I'm honest. I'll feed myself. I made scrambled eggs this morning, to be honest. Oh, well, that's lovely to know that you're happy to feed yourself, but you're poor missus of 35 years past.

So, well, that's a lovely last supper in homage to lovely Sardinia. So now it's that time we need to hear all about

The death. Have you pegged it? See, I would like to peg it. I've talked recently to somebody, won't go into details, about how their dad passed away. And he did it through, he went, sorry, he lives in Switzerland, actually. He swiss, and you know, dignity has somewhat of your weight, you know. And so it was a planned thing where

they actually had dinner together and it was planned, it was a date, it was a time, it was an everything. And I think, I'm getting to a point in life, I think where, you know, a lot of our friends, parents are passing, my mum and dad have passed away, and we are kind of becoming the last in that generation, we're the old ones now. And there's something in me that really doesn't like to see people suffer. I don't want to, and I don't also, we have one daughter, Amelia and Amy's,

and I don't want to burden her with looking after us. I say, I'm telling the Royalers, but if we're talking about my death, what have you. So I'd either like to plan it, actually say, look, come this date, my body's screwed. I've had an amazing time. I've got no complaints over my life here. It's time for me to bow out and say, thanks very much. I'd like to plan it and say, boom. So I'd like to go to, you know, hopefully a nice place in Switzerland or wherever they're doing it at that point, because hopefully it might be in 20 odd years. I'm 58, so God knows who knows.

And I think that's what I'd like to do. I'd like to call the shot. I'd like to say this is enough, rather than be a burden to everybody and lose my faculties and lose all these things that we're hearing about, you know, Alzheimer's and various other things of that nature where you just go.

That's not very, it's not dignified. It's not, you know what I mean? And I think it'd be, I'm saying that now, I might be hanging on tooth and nail, do you know what I mean? Don't turn the machines off. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'd like to think it'd be the way around. It'd be like, open my favourite bottle of wine, because tomorrow I'm going, do you know what I mean?

Well, I think that sounds wonderful actually. I mean, I do think, I mean, one of the reasons we do this podcast as well is because death is like the last taboo. And we grew up because we're sort of the same, a little bit older than you, where it was still, you shouldn't talk ill of the dead. You shouldn't even talk about death. They should be respected and all that malarkey. And I'm really glad that in this sort of modern age,

people are much more open into talking about it and stuff, and also that thing of suffering that it's bollocks that we shouldn't have to suffer. No, and I feel, I must say, I feel having been around it once or twice, I kind of feel really bad for all the people working in the hospitals because they're on a knife edge all the time with emotion for themselves, but obviously all the families that are trying to look after this person. And it goes sometimes to this area where it's like,

Everyone knows this is ridiculous. It's no good for anybody. But for whatever reason, we haven't built a system that says, this is time to let this go. Yeah. And I understand because then, you know, especially when someone's got a few bob and a big house, everyone will be so I go, yeah, he's ready to unplug him. Well, I think that's the problem. I think that's why, you know, it's still such a sort of tricky subject. Yeah, it is.

but getting back to your lovely... You wouldn't do it with a dog. No, exactly. That's the thing that two friends and I were talking about recently saying, there's no way we would do what we're doing with this human being to a dog, whether they're not really conscious, they're not really this, they're not really that. And they've often said themselves, I'm done, I don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, well, good for you. And we will make sure in our little fantasy world that that is exactly... Either that or a shark attack.

Okay. So what would the public response to your death date? You see, that's so weird in a way, because I don't think I've ever ever contemplated that. And I don't mean in like a self modesty, like, would anybody care with anybody this? You know, I'm sure it'd raise an eyebrow ear and then people go, Oh my God, he's finally popped it as he do, I mean, or whatever. But it's funny enough, I was actually thinking about when the Queen passed for one thing.

Right. I wasn't particularly like an avid royalist, I wouldn't say. But I still felt that was a massive thing in, of course it was a huge thing. But I mean, it was bigger to me than I thought it would be. Right. And I do have that occasionally when somebody famous, who's not royal necessarily, but somebody who's always been there. Yeah. Like you just sort of think, now we're going to carry on, but like that's changed that

view from now on forever. It's really interesting because I think the first person for me was when Eric Malcom died. Yeah, interesting. Of course. Yeah. It was just like, Oh my God. Comedy is just never going to be the same again.

Yeah, and even when they don't die, even when they just say, I'm not doing this anymore, you know, I've got me, you know, become a devotee or whatever it is, you know, because I still do, but I love Jimmy Talbot because to me, I used to watch Saturday or Friday night TV and he was on the telly. Yeah. And then when I actually got to do like the London Palladium and he's a host of it,

And you say nice things about me. It almost like made me get tearful, you know, because it's like, oh my God. And because he was always there. But in terms of your question, because I've avoided it, what would the reaction be? I just think there'd be a sort of a, if someone's reading the paper, you know, they'd sort of look at somebody across the room and go, you know, never guess. And they go, oh, really? Oh, lovely. Do you want a cup of tea? Yes. Yeah. And how would you like to be remembered, do you think? Oh, Christ.

I don't know whether there need to be, if you know what I mean. I think because of that song, never going to give you up has kind of done so many things for me and what I mean. It's become part of my, literally my life. You know, I'm like a sticker rock. If you cut me up and it says, never going to give you up in the middle kind of thing. I think in that respect,

I'm so grateful for that. And I don't mean to seem all whatever, but I am. I think because I've come full circle and I'm older and I've got perspective on what having it hit meant in the 80s, but it's still sort of hanging on a new bit. Also a fantastic resurgence. Thank you. Yeah. We've had a lot of going on in this last 10 years, for sure. But I kind of think I don't need to be remembered for it when I'm gone, if you know what I mean. If it ever gets played by somebody, that'll be enough, if you know what I mean. It's like a

It's kind of weird. I've sort of feel lucky enough to have a tune, whether you like it or not, you've heard it. And if you go to Tasmania or Peru, you've heard it. And that's a weird thing. It is weird. It is. And I've been to Tasmania, by the way. I've done it again. And it's just kind of strange. I mean, it is wild because it was number one in America, which is massive.

Yeah. And it was number one all over the piece. Yes. Yeah. But the American thing was quite a big deal. It was because lots of people who are huge artists go to America for whatever reason the Americans go, yeah, whatever. And they just don't take it on board. And that was a bit of a shock to me when I went there, actually, because I was, I'd had a few hits by the time I went to America.

I've done loads of TVs and bumped into loads of different other people and was kind of in competition, if you like, with them in the charts and everything. And then you go there and some of them are there and some of them ain't. And you go, well, I'm worse. You know, it was weird. It was. And I thought, why did I get through the net kind of thing, you know? But what was great when you went to America, there wasn't that sort of prejudice.

Yeah, they just judged the record for what it was, I think. It's interesting because when, sort of at the end of my, you know, moment, my four or five years or whatever I had, I was on a plane to go to New York and I'd already developed the fear of flying anyway. Yeah. And I've been on a plane to Berlin like the day before, I think.

And it wasn't even that dodgy to fly. But if you don't like it, I was fine. I used to fly every day, sometimes twice a day. Do you know what I mean? I was fine. And it just crept in. Our daughter was born at this point as well. I was getting a bit kind of like, what is this business? I mean, because we'd had a record that started great and then didn't. And it was all a bit of a mess and not blaming the label, not blaming anybody. Maybe the record wasn't that great. But it started great. And it's like, we're off again. We're like, we've got this thing and then it just disintegrated.

And then I made another album and we're just in the process of trying to do that. It wasn't really doing anything here particularly, but America were kind of keen and they were saying, we think we might have a hit if we just get all the promotion right into the day. So I'm going to Heathrow and I just kind of said, I can't actually do this. I'm not going. And I was really upset by the way. It wasn't like a flippant kind of thing.

And tops had seen that I was beginning to crack a little bit, I think. And I was so frightened of getting on that flight. I didn't think I'm going to be frightened the whole way. I thought, we won't get there. Like, you won't get there. I won't. The captains and the first officer, what they're called. They won't get there. We're not getting there. It's not a feeling of, oh, this is frightening. It's like, it won't make it. So it's like, why would you do that? You know what I mean?

So basically, he just said to him, I just don't think I can go. I really don't. And because he's the lovely block that he is, he said, well, let's go on then. He wasn't that kind of manager to go, well, I've got something in my pocket here. And if you put that up, you know, or whatever, you'll be fine. And I think the music business has at times had characters like that. And I've got artists in places. I mean, the artists have done themselves sometimes, of course, I'm not blaming just managers, but I'm saying,

You know, his reaction wasn't, well, come on, let's go the airport and we'll have a few drinks and we'll, you know, whatever, all as I say, take something. His reaction was, this is going to make you will, let's go on. So we did. Wow. Yeah. And it's, and, and don't we wrong, it wasn't like my career was firing on old cylinders. It was like, is this going to happen? Are we going to get, are we going to keep this going? And ironically, America was the one place that was saying, we might be able to, you know, if you come and do the promo and like, and that was the one place I couldn't really go to at the time.

I think it's one of the four that you were sort of protected really. I think Tops became a bit of a father figure. 100%. It's just so refreshing in the rock and roll and show business to read about story. It doesn't involve all that stuff. And I think it's important for young people, the new generations,

to get into the music industry, then it's like it doesn't have to be. No, definitely not. I'm seeing the signals of that when I'm talking to friends, kids and other kids that have come across, say, kids, people in the 20s and stuff. Yeah, I know people still do drugs and they're like a smoke and they'll know where. But there's a lot of people who don't. There's a lot of people are going, nah, I did it a bit when I was younger, but that's I'm done with it. It's not for me because I want to focus.

It's my turn to have a little bit of a relax now. Lovely Rick because it's time for...

So, Rick Hasley, the floor is yours. I think this is the time where you read out an email from one of our lovely listeners who's written in. Brilliant. And who have we got this week, please, sir? OK. This is an email from Julia in Watford. Hello, Julia. Hi, wonderful Cathy, goddesses and guest. Hi, Julia.

After listening to the shappy episode and hearing all about the story on the dead bird and introductions to death through pets, I thought I would tell you about my friend's daughter, Lisa. When she was about six, her nanny died and she was very upset, almost distraught at the news. Although she loved her nanny, her parents did think her distress was a little extreme even for a six-year-old. With careful, tactful questioning, Lisa explained, we can't put nanny down the toilet. That's okay.

OK, now my glasses have steamed off. We can't put her nanny down the toilet. It transpired that her dad, Len, kept a huge tank of tropical fish. And whenever one died, it was disposed of down the toilet. Lisa had seen this and thought nothing of it until it came to the death of nanny. She says, I love the podcast, brightens up my day, Julia from Watford. Oh my God. Oh my God. OK, fabulous. Did you have any pets? I know you're dead at all seas.

Yeah, he had a bit of everything, to be honest. We had dogs, cats. Mike sort of pet that was kind of mine, if you like. It was a little Jack Russell cold bod. I say he was mine, he was everyone's, but I was the youngest. So, you know, and...

But we had a German Shepherd, like a guard dog really, because my dad had this little business, little garden centre and stuff. It's hard to be friends with a German Shepherd when he's a guard dog, if you know what I mean. And we had a couple of different ones, actually. And the last one that he had was called Major, and he was a big old

really dark as well kind of thing. And like, you know, he was super loyal to us as those dogs normally are kind of thing. In other words, if you're in the family, you're in the pack. He was great. So he wasn't, he was a pet, but he wasn't, if you know what I mean. I would take him for a walk sometimes when I was a bit older kind of thing. But yeah, Bob, who was the little Jack Russell, he was the kind of pet of the family really is.

But that's a great name. Here comes Bob. Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do

So, if you don't hear your email here, make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcast or head to Where There's a Will There's a Wake.com for details! Don't go anywhere We'll be back After this short break

This episode is brought to you by Manscaped, the global leader in men's grooming tools and hygiene solutions. Who are you? And what are you done with the goddesses? Get out of my studio! Cathy, Cathy, it's alright, it's me! Oh, big god Ollie! Yeah, sorry if I gave you the willies. I've gone and Manscaped my beard, what do you think? Oh, yeah, it's not bad, actually. Very beppy, DiMarco, very demure.

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Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tiz the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's no stranger to the spotlight. And it turns out, he might even love the limelight. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Britney Broski, and Danny DeVito. Try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's anything to love about the insufferable holiday season. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wonder E app, or wherever you get your podcasts.

So, lovely Rick, you snuffed it. So what's going to happen at? The funeral. Would you mind me saying, because you do slay in your book, again, another very refreshing thing. Your dad and your mum didn't have funerals? No, they didn't. They both passed away in a hospital, if you like. And I think they were of an age that, I don't know, really. I think we all just, as I say, we the royal, we the two brothers and my sister.

that we didn't want to go through that really. Partly because I think of like, you know, whether we felt that close to them or not, and that's with no disrespect to them, you know, they did their best as parents, like every parent does, they're just some are built different than others. We had passed away first, and then we knew my mum wasn't very well, and she passed away within a year, I think it was.

And we just kind of said, well, we're just going to deal with this at some point. And so we got, we got both sets of ashes and we went to light a couple of areas that they always loved. My dad basically tried to escape the real world. He bought a little cottage and was going to just bugger off basically. I mean, I was still 13.

I'm not sure how that works, but he asked what he was going to do. And he bought it. He never really fixed it up and did it up. He really was a bit of a wreck. But he loved that thing. And he loved where it was and everything. So we went to the local river there and all the rest of it. And we did his ashes in the river and we had a whiskey and all the rest of it, which was his tipple.

And we did the same with my mum, but in a different place, basically, when she loved as a little girl when she grew up. And I think that was enough for us, really. I wouldn't have suited everybody, but for us, it was great. And we laughed a lot. We tried a bit. We told stories that day. We went out for an amazing dinner the night before. It felt like we were kids again, to some degree.

There's a beautiful honesty to it. Thank you. So getting back to your funeral, the fancy funeral, how would you be getting there? Oh, wow, that's interesting. I don't know why this has just popped into my head, but I'll tell you.

I've got an oldish car. It's from 1987. My wife bought it for me. Not in 1987. She bought it like 20 years ago. It's a convertible Mercedes from 1987. It's white with the blue hood darling. And don't use it much to be honest. And she bought it for a big anniversary of ours and all the rest of it. And I kind of love it, but it can be a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes. But anyway, I do love it.

But I have some sort of romance about it, because 1987 was the year we actually met. We didn't get together, but we met in 87. And that was the year that I had my first record out and did it a blah, blah. So there's just something about it. And I kind of think that'd be quite a thing to take. I don't know what we're talking about, an earn or a coffin, actually.

Coughing's more fun. Do you want us sticking out the top of a convertible? That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The roof's down. It's been stuffed in the passenger seat and hanging out the top. Do you want to main? So I'll go with that image. Lovely. And what would you be wearing in the coffee? It's got to be a suit, darling, aren't it? Oh, of course. Come on.

A new suit or one of you kept any of your old clobber? I've got one in particular which is like a lilac sort of very light purple lilac double-breasted massive shoulders all the rest of it and I've kept it and I've washed my wheelie bins in it in Covid.

to the to the sounds of dual lip about away. Obviously. But the thing is, I've taken it to a few photo sessions, and we even took it on tour with us last year. Now this year, sorry, and I didn't because I've got a flight case, we closed obviously and I was just just sort of threw it in there thinking.

Right, why that one night? You know, trousers, forget it. Jacket, I can get into trousers account, but we could work on that. We could, you know, adjust to that. And the weird thing is, it doesn't look like our place. It's like big shoulder pads, double-breasted, full on. It's kind of what's happening. And I've bought suits very recently that are exactly that. And it's almost weird, you know what I mean?

Well, they were in the 80s. They were revived from it was like the 1930s. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Well, I remember that the first time I actually kind of got some money. I thought, right. And John Paul Golty at the time was the dude.

for me anyway. There was a couple of dudes, but he was one of them. I remember going into this store to buy this suit and I actually found it hard to get my hand out of my pocket with, I think it would have been a credit card, even then I can't remember credit card cash, whatever it was. It was really hard to pay for it because I kept wanting to slap my hand going, what are you doing? Because it was about a grand or something during the late 80s and I'm like,

what are you fucking doing, do you know? But I wore that suit like you wouldn't believe, like so many times I can't tell you. That's very new. Get the wear out. I'm talking about the quality of it as well. It was great, you know what I mean? It stood up to anything. But I haven't got any of those, to be honest. I left some of those at my mum's house. Oh my God, man. I left some cheery mughula at him, cheery mughula. He's like, I'm pronouncing it right. He's still kicking about all of these clothes.

And I had some suits like an orange, I mean, orange, proper orange, right? And also a lemon one, right? Oh, yes. More than we black trousers, usually, just the jacket, you know, and the tail mech. And I left them at my mum's thinking, I'm never going to wear them again, but I kind of like to keep hold of them. And she gave them away to somebody who worked on a cruise ship.

Oh, amazing. Yeah. But I would say, now, and our daughter, Emilio, is 32. And she's seen all photographs and she's saying, so where are these? Where are these clothes? I want these clothes. I'm like, they're on a cruise ship somewhere. Oh, my God. Now, now, now. We'll put a message out of Jane McDonald. Yeah, where's she spots? She spots any Jane. Get it back to Rick.

So it'd have to be a suit, and I think if we're going with a coffin in a convertible old 87 Mercedes, then I'm going to have to have a new suit, I think. Nice and new. Yeah. So now there's a small matter of what's happening with your body in... There it is, or cremated.

Well, I must say, having disposed of, let's say, we've got to be a better word than that, of our moms and dads' ashes, there's something in that that I think is easier and less traumatic than potting a body in a box in the ground.

I also think, you know, I like the idea that somebody can say, well, we're going to spread the ashes here, wherever that is. And if we want to, we can go and walk by that if we want to. It's not like, well, it's in this cemetery with a thousand other people and we have to, and it closes at this time where we want to, it's like we put them there. And there could be somewhere a hundred miles away. It might not be somewhere where you're going to go very often, but it's the point of

You can go there with a bit of solitude as well sometimes. I think I'd go ashes. I think I'd be cremated. Wants to struggle getting it out of the convertible. Yes. They can burn it later. And I, yeah. So you're going to be cremated. So you're not going to have a gravestone. No. But so therefore there'll be some sort of plaque or whatever. What would you like written on the plaque?

I know I'm pretty sure our daughter Amelia and her husband Paul you know that I'm pretty sure they make some sort of remembrance of us in some way that you know and whatever that is that you know I'm sure there's something that is mine like a trinket or a thing or whatever you know.

I've been thinking about this quite a bit recently, and I don't know why. I don't know why. I've not even watched it for years, but I've said it a couple of times recently. It's come up in conversation. I don't know. I think I'm just getting old and romantic, I think. You know, at the end of Notting Hill, not the end, actually, but where she comes in the shop. Oh, yeah. And she said, fame's not real, you know. And then she goes on and explains the whole thing. You know, I'm just a girl in front of her, but you know what I say.

But it's the fame's not real thing. Well, it bloody is love. Because if Julia Roberts walked down Oxford Street, you'd see how real it was. But I know the sentiment of it. I understand that and I understand the thing in that bookshop, in that moment, on the couch it is flat and the wherever they were, you know what I mean? It isn't real then, it doesn't matter.

And I kind of, I definitely wholeheartedly agree with that. And I know the fact that if I'm on stage singing or doing something like this, where you kind of like, well, you're being that part of you, as it were, as you are, you know. But the actual fame fame sort of isn't real, really. It isn't really my

It's not real when I get in the shower. Yeah, yeah. I don't famously get in the shower. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? And therefore, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It's kind of, it's a weird thing. It really is. And if anything, I guess my, my plaques are going to be like old vinyl that someone's got in their attic. Do you know what I mean? So, yeah. Fantastic. Great. Oh, so don't go anywhere. We'll be back after this.

Hello, it's your beauty and wellness BFFs, and we're here to answer all your burning questions. Skin care, makeup, parenting, and more. We have got you covered. Oh, yes we do. We'll speak with industry insiders, celebrities, and our close friends. And give all our honest and unfiltered thoughts always. Listen to lipstick on the rim now on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, Chris Jumbo here. My podcast Origins is where the biggest names in entertainment tell me the stories that made them who they are today. This week on Origins, actor Archie Madekwe, who you might know from Saltburn and Midsummer, tells me about the time he had a very grounding moment and was told he might be about to lose everything unless he got his act together. And there aren't many people that you see that are really, really special and you are at this precipice where you're about to f*** it up.

Listen to origins with Cush Jumbo, wherever you get your podcasts. Now we move on to... The Wheel and the Wake.

What I'd like to do, I'd like to be able to teleport people back in time to being how old we are now, if not even younger, at my wake. Oh, no. Do you know what I mean? It'd be great if I could just make everybody 30 again and then them come to the wake. Do you know what I mean? That's brilliant. Maybe not for life, but just for like that 24 hours. Yeah, just have a big old.

Yeah. Booze, because also when you're 30, the hangovers have not really existed. Exactly. And you've just got more, you've got more upness for it. I think two are actually have a proper knees up now. That's it. So that would be nice. But I'd quite like to, I'd kind of like to, do you remember Randall and Opkirk? Oh, yes. Yeah, it walks around. The white, yeah. And you should walk around in a white seat, no one else can see him. Yeah.

I'd quite like to be walking around in this suit from the coffin. I'd like to just knock out some of my, at least my essence, my whatever, you know? Oh, well, that's great. That's the next question is, are you going to be haunting anyone? Well, I don't like the idea of haunting. I don't necessarily believe in ghosts. But yeah, I think it would be a shame not to see your own wake, wouldn't it? Yeah. A crying shame, actually. Well, you know, they have sort of living funerals now.

Oh really? Yeah, yeah, there are people. I know Dawn French went to somebody's. It was a lady that was terminally ill. And she thought, do you know what? The one thing I don't want to miss is my own funeral. Wow. So she had it and she asked if Dawn French would be the vicar.

And Dawn said yes, because it's such a manual. That is fantastic. Isn't that brilliant? Yeah, that is, but also the fact that, for one, she did it. Yeah. And the fact that, like, how amazing would it be to have Dawn French as the winner? I mean, yeah, there's the bonus. Oh, my God. I don't think Dawn will be doing it again for anybody else. No, no, no. She's not going to card. No, no, no. She's giving out for a row. Yeah.

No, but that would be amazing. But I did think that was such a fantastic idea. And also a way to, I mean, obviously, you know, this woman was terminal cancer, but what a wonderful way to make everybody else feel OK about it. Yes, feel better in terms of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So let's get otherworldly for a little bit. What about reincarnation? Would you like to be animal vegetable or mineral?

I don't want to be a carrot. I think it's that thing is that we had cats actually for a long time. They were like 21 22 when his brother and sister when they passed you in the end. And again, you know, talking about some of the things they got so will we had to put them down in the end, you know. Yeah.

And as a lot of people will say, you know, about their cat in particular, it's almost like they show human traits at times. It's almost like, are you actually a cat? This is getting a bit weird now, do you know what I mean? But they also are a bit freaky sometimes, you know, and we had a boy and a girl.

And Charlie, the boy, if somebody came to our house and they weren't feeling great, but didn't even know it, he knew it. So when they sat down, he'd just come over to them and he'd just sort of sit on their lap and just look at them. And it was like, I'd say you're getting the flu. And they're like, I feel fine. He said, trust me. Trust me, give me a call in the day or so. Yeah, yeah. And showing off in the day or so, they go, I've got the flu. And he would do that all the time. But also when somebody was just really upset and he would just gravitate to people. Yeah.

So you want to come back as a cat, then do you think? Yeah, I'd probably come back as a cat, I think. Who would you like to wait for you at the pearly gates? Oh, geez. There are people I would like to meet. They're going to have to be in the mood that I want them to be in as well. So for instance, I would like to meet Frank Sinatra. Oh, yeah. But I'd want him to, I'd want, I get the feeling if you met Frank Sinatra, be like, all right, kid, you can open the whiskey and then fuck off. Yeah, yeah. Whereas I'd want him to sort of say, hey, sit down.

What are you doing, do you know what I mean? Let's have a chat. I'd like him to be the one. Look at my huge bowl of cigarettes. There's a very fun, there's a famous bowl of this huge. Oh, is that? Oh, really? Yeah, I saw it recently. Wow. You know, from like the 60s. Like fag ends, you mean ones that you saw in a smoke? No, no, no, no, no, no. Packets. Oh, just in case. Wow, OK. But it was like he'd obviously gotten sent to for nothing or he'd got duty-free. Yeah. But it was like a, you know, the biggest fish bowl you've ever seen. Well, OK.

I don't think Frank Serata went through the duty free. No, that's true. I don't think he landed in certain parts, but there wasn't a duty for you. He just would have got said nothing.

But hundreds and thousands of packets of fucking cigarettes. Yeah, amazing. So he would be there. I'd love David Bowie should be there. I think that would be a really great one. Did you ever meet him? No, no, no. Also because I'd love to see the interaction of all these people that have meant so much to us musically. Yeah. And sort of

put down these building blocks that we've all kind of like built on top of or whatever or whatever an analogy you want to use, been influenced by and everything. But also to see them all interact, like throw Marvin Gaye into that as well. Do you know what I mean? It'd be amazing that thing. And even an Elvis, you know, I'd love to go back and there's like a music room and they're all just sat in there going, what's that called?

How are you doing now? I'm amazed. You know what I mean? What a great image that is. I mean, I think you could, because of your recent resurgence and stuff, and the brilliant gig that I've watched not live, because I'm an old person, and I don't go out the house anymore, but the wonderful grass and bricky gig you did with the blossoms, with blossoms, with the Smith's covers. But I remember watching it and thinking, oh, God, I'd love to see Ashley do David Bowie, actually.

Do you know what I mean? Well, I like singing covers full stop. I just like doing it. I did it a lot as a kid. Obviously, everyone does. It's how you learn. Yeah. And it's a bit of a break sometimes as well where you kind of go, oh, that's just because some of my songs are 30-odd years old. You know what I mean? And it's not like I'm ever not going to do them. It's part of the deal that I do. Those songs, of course, it is. And that's good.

But I think I just like coming into rehearsals usually in the last 45 minutes of rehearsals and saying to the band, uh, should we have a crack at this then? And it's usually a modern song because obviously I try and sort of have a song that like young people would know because obviously at a Glastonbury or something, it's like the age thing is just amazing. It's bonkers.

You see like 10 year old kids kind of thing. Yeah. And you see their grandparents and everything in between. Oh, you'd be brilliant doing, um, what's the Billy Eilish one? All right. What's that? Bad guy. I'm a bad guy. Oh, you'd be fucking great. Thank you. You have more faith in that than I would go with it. Beautiful. And, um, the wheel.

I mean, what you got and who's getting it? I'm hoping to spend every cent of it. OK, you got some suits, but... It's a weird one, though, because life is sort of... You do this curve, I guess.

of trying to get enough together, money and the ladder and pay your mortgage off and did it all through your life. It's all about building this whole did it. And at any moment, you can pop your clocks. Yeah. And it's like, okay, well, what were you saving it for? But then again, there's also that thing of like, if you've got kids and then grandkids and you want to provide for them or a charity you love or something, you want to, I get it. I totally do. But there is also an element of what the fuck are you saving it for? My mum was a bit like that.

I used to try my hardest to buy things and I'd take her into Manchester sometimes. I'm not trying to be a saint here. I'm just saying, you know, I had money, right? I had money. And I'd take her into Manchester and I'd take her somewhere and, you know, there's a nice department store there and I'd go in there. I'd say, come on, let's go, you know, let's just go in that department. Yeah. And she wasn't like a Northern kind of sticking the mud at all, right? You know, my mum was

you know, quite cultured and all the rest of it. And she'd say, no, I don't really need anything. I'm like, I know you don't need it, like, but would you? Just a treat. Would you? Yeah. Would you like? And she'd say, well, no, no, no. Wow. I'm like, well, Mum, it's not even, you know, I'm not being flippant about it. But like, I can buy you an outfit from the water. Yeah. It's not even gonna, you know. Yeah. And she just wasn't.

I almost had to force her into stuff at times, you know? And I'm not embarrassed to say this. It's like, people can make body like this. And maybe because I'm doing this podcast with you right now, this might be a bit weird, whatever, fuck it, I don't care anymore. I used to put money in my mum's account, right? And when she died, it was all every single penny of it.

Wow. I wonder, I mean, look at me playing them, you know, fake psychiatrists, they're whatever, but I wonder if it's because she felt

She hadn't been the mum to you, she should have been. And so therefore didn't deserve. I don't think so. I think she was just very proud. She wasn't materialistic at all. My mum was a bit of a looker bad away. Yeah. She was, especially in photographs or when she was young, so she was a bit of an Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah, yeah. And like, you know, she always dressed well and all of a sudden, I don't mean, um, expensively, but she just looked, you know, she was classy. Yeah, she was.

And I don't think that's what it was about. I think it was like, well, if I need that money, I'll wallow you. I mean, again, don't be wrong. I think I put it in the book anyway. I bought her a house. Yeah, yeah. And she was fine with that. It was like, well, OK, I get that. That's nice, lovely. But you don't need to be. You don't need to pay this and paying that and I'm fine.

Yeah, yeah. And is there anything you wouldn't want anyone to find? Any skeletons in the closet that you think? And I don't think you have, actually, you're very honest in your book, so... I think they'd be amazed at how many black t-shirts I've got. And also how many pairs of shorts I've got.

Oh, right. Yeah. I don't really like my legs, you see. Okay. So I'm always hunting for that pair of shorts that I'll think my legs will look good in June of the week. So I've got this weird thing about shorts. Right. Christ, why don't I just tell you that? But anyway, there you go. It says very similar to our boss, Big God Ollie. I think he's got an abundance of black t-shirts. All right. And I think an abundance of shorts as well. It gets a bit weird sometimes. Men would close, I think. Women as well, by the way, for God's sake.

So, we're coming to the end, but before we do finally finish, we would like to know what would be your famous last words. Bloody hell. Well, Bloody hell might be it, actually. I love you all and thanks very much, I think.

Well, that's perfect. Does it get better than that? Well, this has been an absolute pleasure. We're going to ask you to stick around. Indeed. Because we're going to do our little bonus episodes six feet under. But in the meantime, Rick Astley, thank you very, very much. Thank you very much. I've really enjoyed it. Thank you very much indeed.

You've been listening to where there's a will, there's a wake with me, Cathy Berg. My senior producer is Charlie Morrell, and my producer is Nia Dio, or as I like to call them, my goddesses. Our engineers are Ed Gill and Matthias Torres-Solei, marketed by Kieran Lancini. Our production coordinator is Lily Hambley, music by Jonathan Rathbone, and the executive producer is Oli Wilson.