Here Lies Krishnan Guru-Murthy
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January 28, 2025
TLDR: Kathy hosts Krishnan Guru-Murthy discussing Martin Bashir's final dance on Strictly Come Dancing.

In this engaging episode of Where There's a Will, There's a Wake, host Kathy Burke invites the renowned journalist Krishnan Guru-Murthy to share his perspectives on life, death, and his unique career in media. From a behind-the-scenes glimpse of his experience in journalism to his thoughts on how he wishes to be remembered, this conversation is packed with humor, insight, and personal anecdotes.
Introduction to Krishnan Guru-Murthy
Kathy welcomes Krishnan, a long-standing figure at Channel 4 News, known for his flamboyant personality and distinctive interviewing style. The discussion touches on his background in journalism and how the industry has evolved over the years, with social and political changes requiring new approaches to news reporting.
Key Points Discussed:
- Struggling with Change: Krishnan reflects on how podcasting has changed the landscape of news reporting, almost turning it into a 24-hour news cycle.
- Family Life: He shares insights into his busy family life, emphasizing the importance of spending time with his children as they navigate adolescence and early adulthood.
The Lighthearted Side of Krishnan
Last Meal and Thoughts on Food
When asked about his last meal, Krishnan humorously admits to a craving for a classic steak and chips after a long, exhausting day. He jokingly mentions his family’s dietary quirks and how his tastes have changed over the years, displaying a fondness for comfort food—especially dishes his mother used to make.
Reflecting on His Life and Death
Krishnan shares his thoughts on mortality, expressing a wish for a quick and painless end, possibly as a consequence of familial heart conditions. His humorous take on death contrasts with the seriousness of the topic, revealing a light-hearted approach to a heavy subject.
Insights on Public Life and Legacy
How He Wishes to be Remembered
Krishnan envisions a small, respectful gathering at the Channel 4 News station for his farewell, proving that even in discussions of death, his humor shines through. He muses that while he would like to feel valued and mourned, the reality of modern media consumption means views vary drastically, especially among younger generations.
Eulogies and Funerals
The conversation flows into how he would structure his own eulogy. He suggests it should be a mix of love and laughter, with friends given the stage to share both heartfelt moments and humorous memories. His desire for an outdoor funeral pyre reflects his unique combination of traditional values and modern sensibilities.
Embracing Life through Dance
Krishnan’s unexpected stint on Strictly Come Dancing reveals another layer of his public persona. He shares the liberating joy he found through dance, emphasizing the importance of embracing fun and creativity in life, even amidst serious occupations.
Final Words
In wrapping up the podcast, Krishnan leaves listeners with a touch of poignant humor—his last words might simply be an exasperated, "Oh, for God's sake!" This becomes a fitting symbol of his personality: playful, insightful, and irreverently candid.
Conclusion
This episode of Where There's a Will, There's a Wake not only highlights Krishnan’s accomplishments in journalism and broadcasting but also offers a refreshing perspective on life and death. His balance of humor and serious contemplation reminds us of the importance of living fully and embracing all facets of our experiences.
Takeaways:
- Embrace humor in conversations about death and legacy.
- Cherish the lighter moments and connections that make life enjoyable.
- Consider the evolving dynamics of media and personal engagement in storytelling.
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own lives through the lens of Krishnan’s experiences, blending the serious with the absurd. Tune in for more transformative discussions in future episodes.
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Hello, I'm Cathy Burke, and welcome to this dilapidated newsroom in the podcast Thunderworld. I'll tell you what, it's fucking chaos right now. Thomas Schavenaker is giving the news anchor the finger, and there's a confused taxi driver about to be interviewed about the state of the British economy. Mm-hmm. Blimey, breaking news just in. Hide and seek, champ. Dead in cupboard. Found ya. Anyway, welcome to...
There's a will, there's a wag. Whilst we flap our arms and scream into our headsets, it's time to welcome this week's guest to our menacing media hub. And remember, if you want this episode ad-free and more of me and our amazing guests, something beginning with Kay. Ooh, um, calamata olives.
Then subscribe to Six Feet Under on Apple Podcast or head to where this world has wake.com for the full experience. Because, leaving Earth this week with a crisp bang on Wallop, it's the gorgeous Krishna! Krishna and the Rupathi! Oh, I like that!
Yeah, it's a lot of people like the Celestial Choir singing their name. Yeah, no, it plays to my campus side. Oh, yes. Yeah, because it's all your campus side in Strictly Come Dance, which was a real thrill. How long did you last in that? Eight weeks. Oh, that's amazing. Much longer than anyone thought. Uh-huh. Most of all me.
But yeah, it was great, and it did enable me to, you know, dig out my more funboy inside. Yes, yes. So, what else are you up to, apart from giving us the news every night?
Well, I mean, podcasting has kind of taken over my life. I've done a long-standing podcast called Ways to Change the World, which is about ideas and books and what people believe for Channel 4 News. And then we also do a sort of political podcast. I do quite a lot of that, especially at the moment when politics is so sort of high-profile.
And I think we're all trying to work out how often to do them. Because some podcasting in the news world is instant now. It's almost become 24-hour news when they go on air while things are happening. And we're all trying to keep up. That's kind of work-wise. And then life is just
You know, life is family really, isn't it? You know, it's sort of, I've got a 19-year-old and a 17-year-old in the university and doing A levels. And life is full, you know, between all of us just kind of spending time together and doing everything that needs to be done. So I still think your kids are little because you've got my favorite profile photo on Twitter.
So which is beautiful. If you haven't seen it, listen, just look it up. That's 2008. Wow. So that's a picture of my boy, Jay, who is now 17, looking at me on the telly in Washington at Obama's inauguration. Oh, that's great. And yeah, he was kind of it was it was those days when when when you're when you're on the telly and your kids see you on the telly, and it's all very normal and natural for them.
Yeah, but he was kind of looking at me as if he was going to give me a hug. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. So listen, Krishnan, I'm very thrilled to have you on our podcast, but before you tell us how you want to bite the dust, we first want to know about your very last meal.
And this month, the show is sponsored by Pink Lady Apples, which are a surefire way to liven up any lunchtime. So, we want to know what you're having for your last lunch, please. And to top it off, the gorgeous Rathbones have made a new jingle for us.
I like my food is the thing. You know, I don't think of myself as a foodie because that sounds ponzi, but I do really like nice food. But I think the funny thing is, as I get older, that I'm more and more often, if I really just want something nice, it becomes that simple thing of a great steak and chips. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I could say one of my mum's lamb curry or something like that, which is comfort food. But to be honest, quite often, if I come back from a really difficult job, if I've been somewhere difficult or dangerous or far away or whatever it is, I quite often want to just come back and have a steak. I don't know why. Oh, you need the protein, not the iron. Maybe it's the protein and the iron. Yeah, you sort of crave it a bit.
And any sort of... Which is odd because I'm not supposed to eat beef, as somebody from a Hindu family. Oh, I see. Oh, of course, yeah. But I've never been very observant, so... But I thought it was because also if you don't mind, you've got crumbs disease. Yeah, that's also true. But actually, I don't strangely struggle with steak, with my crumbs. My crumbs is relatively mild. It's very mild, in fact. I'm quite lucky.
And so, and normally I can, I can pretty much eat whatever I want. There are certain little things that might might set you off a bit. Irritate. Irritate, yes. And would you have any veg on the side with this or would it just be steak and chips?
No, I would. Yeah, I would. I probably just have some broccoli or peas or that kind of thing. Yeah. I never used to like all of that kind of stuff, but years and years of trying to force your kids to eat green veg, you develop a taste for it. And what sort of drink would you have to wash this damn? A really nice red wine, something from Waldo. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a very bog-standard nice meal, I have to say, but I mean, steak and red wine and some chips. I mean, you can't... It's hard to beat that, I think, as an experience. And probably a bit too much of everything. Oh, yeah, you feel a bit stuffed. Do you know what it's like? Yeah, to probably to feel a bit stuffed and then keel over, that would be fine. Lovely. Well, we'll make sure that you have all this, Krishnan. And so now we move on to...
The death. So what the hell happened? Did you peg it? I've got so many things wrong with me. It could have been anything to be honest. But I just hope it's sort of short and sharp is my only hope. So that could be something very dramatic. I could be sort of shot in a strange case of mistaken identity or something like that.
But more likely just to sort of sudden heart attack, just go out. Quick. Quick. I've got this family condition, cardiomyopathy, which I talked about when I did strictly actually, which is a genetic thing, and my dad has it, and then he's 91, so you know, it's not overly worrying. Wow.
It's that thing where people suddenly drop dead when footballers or people suddenly drop dead on the football pitch, and it's totally mysterious. It's often because they have this thing called cardiomyopathy. So I've got that. So the idea of just dropping dead.
When you have it, when you have it and you develop sort of more symptoms, which I don't, they often offer you like a super pacemaker, which goes under the skin and it's supposed to sort of make sure you don't just drop dead and if you do, then it'll shock you back. My dad's got one of those.
And when they were trying to persuade him to have it about 10 years ago, he was very skeptical because they were saying, well, you know, I mean, you might just, your heart might just stop and you could drop dead. And you know, and he's saying, well, I'm 80. That sounds quite good. Right. Yeah, cool. As all the ways that you could go. So yeah, I mean, I suppose I've always kind of imagined that that might happen.
So what do you think, so you're just going to drop down dead very peacefully? What do you think the public response to this will be, Krishnan, as you've been on our tele for, what is it, 25 years longer than that? And do you think the public are going to react?
Well, the sort of the modest part of me would hope that it just kind of all slips away quite quietly without too much. Yeah, but don't be modest, come on. Not with me. And sort of also sort of knowing that television is sort of a weird industry now in which anybody under the age of 30 doesn't really watch it anymore. So sort of half the country will be going, God, did you hear Christian Guru Murthy died? And then the other half will be going, ooh.
Never heard of him. Why is everyone crying about this old man? But obviously in reality, my sort of more dramatic campsite would want people to be very distraught and wailing. But I don't think it's very likely. I mean, I covered the death of Diana, and that was the first time.
How old were you then though, even if still been so young? 27. Wow. In fact, I was actually in California when she died in the car crash, but I came back just a couple of days from the funeral. Right. And was past the funeral team for the BBC, which was amazing. But that was the first time I had seen any of that kind of mass hysteria.
Yeah. And it felt like something had changed, something like some sort of switch had flicked in Britain that suddenly this was happening. Yeah. There were thousands of people out there and they were crying and, you know, emotions were suddenly out front. And that's quite, it's happened quite a lot since, I suppose. Yeah. And now the idea of people
You know, not mass hysteria, but mass emotion is quite normal. But that was the first time I think I noticed it. Yes. So, yeah, no, I think a small, a small, respectful gathering of people outside I.T.N. on Grey's and Road.
In peaceful morning, that would be quite amusing. Yeah, not when the bins are being empty at the same time. And people would walk past, you know, well, what are they doing there? Yes, who's that? Is that Martin Beshear? No. I'm in the Flair's behind me. Oh, my goodness. And what about your colleagues' response? Never mind the public, but how do you think your colleagues are going to film? Well, I work in television news, so they'd probably be delighted. I mean, you know, it's...
I mean, my game is about dead men's shoes. So, you know, whenever anybody moves on, it's always good news. So I would imagine, you know, I would imagine there would be some sort of, well, that's a terrible shame. Moving on. Moving on. Who's doing the show tomorrow night? And how would you like to be remembered?
Oh, I think, you know, mostly for my dancing. I mean, I think... What was your best dance on Strict? What was the one where you felt, do you know what this feels really comfortable and I feel like I've got this and I'm enjoying this one? Yeah, well, there was a definite moment, which was my Charleston.
where I came out as a sort of a version of MC from Cabaret, and it was sort of full makeup look, ridiculous outfit, and I really enjoyed it actually, and it was absurd and a bit camped and very flamboyant, and I could get into a character, and you get away from all that sort of slightly
embarrassing awkwardness of like, I can't really dance because you can go, no, I can just be this person now. Yes, because you went to the Manchester youth theater. Yeah. Well, so what was the intention of going there? Did you have aspirations to be an actor or not? Seriously? I mean, I always loved acting. I did loads of drama and musicals and all that kind of thing at school. And I joined the Manchester youth theater. So when I was 15 and then the national youth theater in London. Oh, well, okay.
And I very nearly became an actor, actually, when I was about 17. I was approached by a casting agent who had gone to Manchester Youth Theatre and they'd given my number, because they were looking for a young Indian actor who could play the piano and roll the skate. And I could play the piano, but I couldn't roll the skate, but I could skateboard. And they were casting a film for John Slesinger, the great
Oh, yes. Director, starring Twiggy and Shirley McLean. And so this was like the other lead character. And I suddenly became very excited because they were like, well, we think we found our person. And you look like you're the one. And I did a couple of auditions. I got to the final two, I think, and went to meet Slazinger, the director.
The other person who was in the same position was a guy called Naveen Choudry who is now on EastEnders. Yes. And he got the part. Right. So, but for a brief moment of a few weeks, I was like, yeah, I'm going to be an actor. Yeah. Forget all this A-levels in the university stuff. Because I was heading towards medical school at that stage. Oh, OK. It's going to be a doctor like my dad. But yes, it was very short-lived. Don't go anywhere.
Shores break!
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In the summer of 2003, two half-starved young man emerged from the woods in my small Canadian town, telling an incredible story. They'd been raised in an extremely remote cabin in the wilderness, and this was their first-ever contact with society. So the community took them in, with everyone marveling at the so-called bush boys. But there was a problem.
Not a word they said was true. From campsite media and Sony Music, Chameleon, Season 3, Wild Boys. Available wherever you listen. Have you got any regrets? Oh loads. Yeah. Good. But I don't know. I don't know. I think regrets.
of the things that parents not spoken about. But yeah, I mean, I never understand people who say, Oh, no, you know, I don't know. You know, regret, yeah. There's loads of stuff that you get wrong in life, isn't there? Loads of things, loads of moments that you got wrong. Yes. You know, things you wish you hadn't said or
But I suppose there's the thing of it, you learn from the mistakes. So therefore, you shouldn't regret anything. Well, you don't because you learn. Well, yeah, probably you probably don't. I don't learn from my mistakes because I'm still a mouthy twat. I think we do always tend to repeat our mistakes because we are, we're a type.
Are we? Some of the mistakes you make in life, you sort of enjoy the some sort of odd pleasure from knowing that you're doing something slightly wrong. So yeah, I mean, there were lots of things I'd like to sort of go and undo quietly, maybe after my death.
Uh-huh. Okay. And your sour is now left this mortal world, Krishnan. So who's going to greet you at the pearly gates? Well, yeah, I am really lucky in that I have not lost yet Touchwood, close family and friends. Yeah, yeah. So it's not like there's someone I want to be reunited with on the other side. So I think, you know, it wouldn't be wonderful if
whatever it is that you get to, it was John Lennon or someone like that. John Lennon, they're going, all right, you know, I think would just be kind of amazing. And to have those kind of conversations with people that you would always dream of having. Yeah. I met two Beatles.
Which ones? George and Paul. Wow. I met George because he was a film producer. And the first job I did was a film called Scrabbles, which was set in a ghostball store. For handmade films. And George was one of the producers. And we all lined up to say hello to George.
And I had to eat sugar. He just kept saying, I feel like Prince Charles. And he was gorgeous. And then Paul McCartney was, was set outside a calf on Maradabao and High Street. And I was sat there with my friend Tom and Gary Crowley, the DJ. We went with Gary, but Gary was just there. And so we said hello. And then there's a very posh
sort of cashmere woolen jumper shop. And I saw Paul McCartney coming out of it. And I said, oh, he's wondered who could afford to shop in that shop. Bora, Bora. Yeah. And it was McCartney. And then suddenly Gary Kraut leads a guy, Paul, Paul, come on. Oh, well. Me and Tom were like, fuck. And anyway, Paul McCartney come on. He was like, hi, everybody. And he looked at me and went, you're still smoking. And I mean, I couldn't believe it, Christian.
I would be dumbstruck. I would be dumbstruck. He was still kind of my dream interviewee. I tried to interview him when I was 18 on that show, opened his question. And I, because they were like, who do you want to interview? I used to write off to sort of everybody.
where you come on this show. And I didn't know how to reach Paul McCartney, but I knew that he was on the Mall of Contire at that stage. So I sent a telegram in the old days of telegrams to Paul McCartney, Mall of Contire. And I invited him on the programme and amazingly he replied.
with a telegram back saying no basically saying no but he but he was it was a very nice telegram and he said he did he did no opens question program and he enjoyed it but that you know he what he didn't have time right it's time or whatever it was so I did get a telegram back and the terrible thing is I've lost that oh say
When you're young, you don't realise that you've got to hold on to these things. Keep these things for their little treasures. There's a regret. There's a regret. There we go. Oh, well, I mean, there's still time. He's still with us, McCartney. Yeah. It would be great if you could... I would love to try and do that. Yeah. Well, Christian, we can't believe you've left this mortal coil, but before we get stuck in about your final farewell, it's time for us to hear from one of our lovely listeners in
So lovely, Krishnan, this is the bit where you get to show off your amazing reading voice and I get to put myself on a five-minute vocal rest and could you tell us who the email is from, please?
Right. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Just picked up this bit of paper and go, OK, this, this email is from Hannah. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Kathy and team. I've been listening to your podcast since it began and always thought, how cool would it be to organize funerals for a living?
Well, last year, the stars aligned. I landed a job at my local funeral home, and I'm now nearly finished with my Level 2 funeral director qualification. Oh, well done. Thank you so much for the inspiration I have finally found my calling in life. Wow, Santa. That is amazing. One of my most memorable experiences so far was organising a funeral, where I had to hire four security guards to protect the coffin during the service.
The family member arranging the funeral warned me about how chaotic her family could be. At a previous funeral, things got so out of hand that people were throwing themselves on the coffin. A fight broke out and two noses were broken. She was adamant about not having a repeat of that drama while you would be.
Hearing these stories, I was understandably nervous. We had a big planning meeting with our team, the crematorium staff, the celebrant, and the security guards. Everyone was braced for the worst. Why are they called celebrants, by the way? I've never understood that. Well, is it because you're celebrating the life? Yeah, it still feels wrong. I mean... Celebrant and time.
The big day arrived and we were all on edge, waiting for this supposedly thuggish family to shower. But instead, only sweet little old ladies and gentlemen began trickling in. I didn't want to underestimate them, never judge a book by its cover, but they seemed pretty harmless.
As the service unfolded it became clear that my client was the one causing all the chaos. She was the one picking fights and in the end it was the security team she hired who had to calm her down and escort her out.
Despite all this, she still left me a glowing review on how well the service went. Lots of love, Hannah. Well, that's amazing, Hannah. And do you know what? I think we're really chuffed myself and the goddesses and big god Ollie, that listening to this silly little podcast has led you to your calling in life. Yeah, God, this has reminded me of a 16-year-old memory.
I'll go on. Of a very brief dating experience. Oh, nice. With a girl who was doing a YTS scheme, placement at a funeral directors. Because what she really wanted to do was do funerals and to prepare bodies.
I remember having this weird conversation with her about why, and what it was that she was obsessed with about. But she was a sort of a real goth, in that she was actually genuinely sort of fascinated by death and dead bodies, and preparing bodies, and, you know, 16s was such a weird thought.
And did it... It didn't blossom. I was a relationship. Were you a bit freaked out by it? I was a little bit troubled. So, yeah, it didn't last very long. It's very sweet though. Yeah. And if you weren't a journalist, well, you said you were about to go out to medical school, but in the sort of fantasy world, like if you weren't a journalist, what do you think you would want to be? Well, I think you've already... I've got a band. I said, yeah, I would have wanted to be in a band or an actor.
So one of those two things, Hollywood or a band, would have been the sort of the... Would you been a singer or would you play the piano? So would you have...
I play the piano in the guitar, but I'm not really good enough at the guitar to be a very good guitar player. You're not going to be like, oh, Robert Fucking Besten, who goes out doing gigs, and he's got a bad Jenny. I will probably sort of pull together a bad band again at some point in time. Now, I tend to live vicariously through my kids now who are both very musical.
And so I can live out that dream a bit through what they do. My 17-year-old played Glastonbury last year. So it was cool to go and watch him do that. Yeah, that's fabulous. Well, listen, thank you so much, Hannah, for your brilliant email. And listen, if you want to get your mail read out on the podcast by one of our fantastic guests,
the email address is cathy at deathpodcast.co.uk. We go through more of your correspondence over on our bonus podcast, Six Feet Under. So if you don't hear your email here, make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcast or head to where there's a will, there's a wake.com for more details.
Right. I'm feeling a bit bad now about suggesting that there was something strange about my date wanting to compare bodies. No. Listen, when you're 16, no, that is fucking weird. If I was on a date at 16 and this lad turned around and said, oh, yeah, I want to be an embalmer,
I don't fuck off. I would have just gone see you. I have a nice life. Yeah. See, I at least did a second date. Oh, you did do a second date. I did do a second date. I wanted to know more, but yeah, then it fizzled. I am sure she has forgiven you, Krishnan, and got on with her life.
And other people's deaths. And other people's deaths. Right. We're all dying to find out what happens next in this fantasy world. So now it's time for... The funeral. So where are we having it? Where's the location?
I think this is where my slightly absurd camp showbiz side comes out, but also a little bit of tradition. I come from a Hindu family, and the Hindu funeral tradition, of course, is the funeral pyre. You can't do it in this country. The law is all a bit confused, but I would quite like to have
you know, an outdoor funeral pyre. But also, I think it should be quite theatrical and entertaining. So I think, I think sort of old meets new Krishnan. I can see, you know, it's not, it's not a festival like, I think it's a bit more
Formal than that in a way, but I kind of I want theatre and music and drama within it. Yeah. As well as this kind of very simple Hindu burning of the body. How are you going to get there? Would you be in a house or? I'm not keen on houses.
because I'm not really keen on the coffin thing. So I don't know. I was trying to think about this. And I think that sort of again, the sort of a slightly absurd bit of me would quite like, you know, a convoy of sort of
blacked out Mercedes vans or something like that. As if we were going to a gig or something, you know, and I'm just sort of wrapped up in the back of one of them. And what do you mean wrapped up? Because you don't want a coffin, no? No, a coffin just seems like a waste of wood. And I don't really like the idea of being closed into something like that. So no, you would just be sort of wrapped up in sort of a fairly simple cloth. I wondered whether I should be wearing one of my suits.
Yeah, you should be wearing something, I think. I'd be wearing something, but it could be sort of the simple cloth, or it could be, I'm quite tempted by the idea of being cremated in one of my Gresham Blake suits, because he'd been making my suits for 25 years or so, so I may as well die in one of them as well. In fact, maybe it would be my first suit, which was for my wedding.
I can still fit in it. I can still fit in it. After string. After string, yes. So, yeah, maybe go out in that. Very nice. The only other thing I was wondering about whether being brought in, I don't know whether you could be brought in by them, but I think maybe carried out, or maybe this is another question. About the pool barriers, you mean? Yeah.
I was thinking I could have my last dance with the Strictly Professionals. So quite likely the idea is sort of like being passed around by the Strictly Dancers in my last twirl around the dance floor and around the field before being taken onto the pyre.
Oh, that's very nice. And especially you're not going to be in a coffin. So they're very good at numbing. They all know where to put their hands. Yeah, they're very good at lifts. And they're all strong boys. I mean, it's cool girls. It could be quite intimate, the dancing. Can't can't it? How do you get past sort of, you know, feeling a little bit, oh, I feel a little bit fruity here. If you have to do a sexy dance.
I never did, to be honest, because I think that's probably something for the women, more than the men, where the hands are going and all that kind of stuff. You're close, so there's physical proximity and you're holding on to each other. The weird thing that I found the first thing I had to get over was the idea of other people's sweat.
And my sweat, I'm not being embarrassed about sweat. Right. And it happens really quickly. But where you basically kind of go, it's fine. Literally on the first day, because within half an hour you're dripping. And then someone comes to dance with you and go, I'm really sorry, I'm really sweating. And they go, don't worry. That's what we're used to. And then you suddenly realize everyone is. And so people just sweat over each other. Right. That's the weird, intimate thing that you've got to get over quickly. It's not really where the hands go.
Oh, that's fascinating. I never really thought about the sweat. Did you, goddess Charlie? No, she's shaking the head, no. The sweat never even crossed our minds. But of course, yeah, because if you shake someone's hand and you're both, if your eye review is sweaty, it's an immediate, oh, I'm so sorry about that. And your natural reaction is to kind of withdraw from that. But you're not just shaking it. You're literally grabbing hold of people, you know, or your
you're touching, your face might touch or whatever it might be. You deal with that. Very good. What music are you going to enter an exit to? I think
again, I think my more theatrical side might come out with some inventions. I think like Mozart's Requiem or something really, really dramatic and heavy and, you know, he's definitely dead. Yes. You know, this is the bit where you can go, actually, I know we've been laughing about him and all the rest of him, but he's dead now, so we can have a little moment of
of noticing that with a great choir. Nice and stirring, stirring all up. There's a new documentary series about Mozart started on BBC last night. It's a bit of an odd one. Lots of people sort of talking about him to camera. I'm going to stick with it because Mozart was a genius and fascinating and all that.
But I just found the documentary just a little bit odd, the way they've got people talking about him. What is if they knew him? Well, it's sort of like a bit, you know, when you get those talking heads like Channel 5 doing where you've got 20 million people talking about the generation. I've done some of those shows and it's always regretted. Yeah, and it's a bit like a posh version of that. Oh, there we go.
Talking head shows that you've said yesterday. Yes, now, exactly. But it's like a posh BBC two version of that. Yes. They've got quite posh people like Stephen Fry, but it's, yeah, it's talk. They're all talking about Mozart, like they knew him, you know.
Yes. I mean, so I think going into something like that, and then afterwards, you kind of then want to signal it's over, and you pop the moment. And then it becomes my sort of music, which will be sort of an extra sort of 90s, and 80s, and all of that kind of stuff that I would listen to when I was young, which is what we all never really
leave in terms of one musical taste. I'm asking it, you'd need to have one of those songs that's got the little intro moment that signals it. So it would be like the beginning of Fool's Gold from the Stone Roses, just that drum or the Happy Mondays step on
We're at the beginning, just so people go, oh, right, okay, fine. Oh, yes, we're safe now. Now it's fine. We can remember when we were off our nuts. Yeah, we sort of, we pop the bubble of tension. Uh-huh, nice. So, now we're going to move on to the eulogy where somebody's going to speak some very fine words about you while you're alive. Imagine you're dead. So who have you got to do the eulogy for us?
Well, I think in practical terms, it's going to be a long list of people. Like, gooey-mirthy family events tend to be a sort of a long line of speeches. Because my brother is a great speaker, and my sister likes to say a few words, and my sister's married to a speech writer, so her kids do.
And also, my two oldest friends will always compete. So we've been friends since we were really young, like four and eight, and they're called Ed and Ollie. And so in our big moments, when we got married, we always had this sort of competition about, well, we can't have one best man, so we're gonna have to have two, because we can't choose between each other. But then, of course, there's a little bit of sort of, well, I'm the real best man, and he's just the other one.
And everybody has to make a speech. So there's usually a long procession of speeches that goes on forever. So I think in reality, Ed and Ollie would sort of do the speeches in which they would sort of say, well, I'm the real eulogy and compete with each other.
And that often gets quite absurd, so people sort of chew now and stop listening. Because it's all about them, not about the person they should be talking about. So I then have to have somebody do a proper eulogy, and that might be somebody like my friend, Emily, who I used to work with at Channel 4 News, and the who now runs the charity that I'm chairman of, which is called Deshen UK, because her son
has got this terrible disease to share muscular dystrophy. And he plays in the band with my son and his image. And Emily set up this charity that I'm very involved with. And we're very good friends. And so I think she might.
also be called upon to say something in this long procession of speeches. Right. And is that who's done it for us? That is who I asked to just do because I couldn't ask her only because it would have taken forever. Yeah, fuck it. It's like the WhatsApp group messages about, well, should I do it? Should I do it? Who's going to do it? Trying to get it into 30 seconds would have been popping him. Yes. So I just thought, yeah, I'll ask Emily. Nice. Well, let's have a listen. Christian Guru Murphy had a varied career, which he often said made him famous.
Working for Channel 4 News, Channel 4 News, and Channel 4 News. Thank God he sounds streaking and became actually famous. Although he triumphed at the tango, Chris was never a natural sportsman. So no one was more surprised than him when he took up cycling in his 40s.
On hearing that her dad was planning to cycle 300 kilometers to Paris in 24 hours for the Duchenne Dash, his nine-year-old daughter Jasmine breezily told her teachers, he's never going to make it. Through his work, he cultivated a confrontational style. Well, I say cultivated, but I think that's just what he's actually like. But there was a side to him that the public didn't see his compassion, his loyalty, and a true, true friend.
The world will be in much emptier place. Oh, there we go. Oh, isn't that beautiful? That's beautiful. She did everything, Emily. She got the laughs. Yeah. And then she got the point. You see at the end. Exactly. Ed and Ollie need to heed. They need to heed. Yeah, they'll just do the roast. Yeah. And then, yeah, they'll sort of think of it as a sort of a best man speech. Yeah. You just got to sort of take the piss out of me for a while. So yeah, I'll need someone to say something nice.
Well, I think Emily is a good pick, you know. So, that was a lovely service. And the question now on everyone's lips is...
I sort of feel you've touched on this. We know this, don't we? I want to be in a funeral pyre. So yeah, I can't bear the idea of being buried. I just think it's a really weird one. So yeah, definitely cremated. Commated on the funeral pyre. And so you're not going to have a gravestone. So we're going to put a little plaque somewhere. So what would you like written on the plaque? And where would you like it to be this plaque so people can visit it? Oh, blimey. Maybe at the end of Channel 4 News every night.
You know, you know, at the moment, like news programs, when we win awards, we say the BAFTA news program of the year, the RTS program of the year. If I could, yeah, I think my plaque should just be at the end of Channel 4 News. It will always be Christian Guru Murthy in the Channel 4 News. What would it say? It would say, um, I think it would just say something like, Oh, for God's sake.
That's great. I mean, that's great at the end of any news bullet and anyway, just like that. Oh, for God's sake. I think that's brilliant. Because that can cover a multitude of things. Absolutely. Oh, well, I'd probably say it quite a lot. Yeah. Under your breath, sort of. Or not. Don't go anywhere. We'll be back.
After this short break. Everything that was presented to me, I just swallowed completely whole. We are one of the richest families in the world that could never change. We're Steinbergs, like we are Steinbergs. We're made new.
The family was drawn together by the money. I was so aware of these could come to a screeching vault. You'd think I would have stopped. And then all of a sudden, the volcano erupts. I'm Ariel Levy, and this is The Just Enough Family. Binge all episodes now on Apple Podcasts. There's no playbook for this type of fraud. Many couples dream of adopting a child. But what if that dream became a nightmare?
She kept telling us, forget about Sabrina's baby. Now, Tara has a problem, because there's no baby. And we all became investigators. From Sony Music Entertainment and Perfect Catons, this is Baby Broker. Coming February 1st to The Binge. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
So what have you got on who's getting it? You haven't got... I haven't got much. You haven't got a telegram from Paul McCartney anymore. No. That had been worth a shekel or two. It all just gets divided up, doesn't it? In reality. I mean, I'll definitely go before my wife, so she'll just get everything, and that'll be fine.
And you scale it into the closet, anything you wouldn't want to find though that you think better get rid of that quick. No, not really. I mean, you know, I've told her about the, the undertaker I dated now. I mean, you were 16. That's about the closest I can get to a skeleton in the closet. She probably had one. But no, no, I don't know. Because I've been on the telly since I was 18,
I suppose my life in that respect has been a bit dull because I've been a public figure. I was at the BBC where you were, you know, drummed into you that, you know, thou shalt never do anything controversial. Well, I mean, that turned out to be ignored by various people, didn't it along the way? But I mean,
No, I mean, so I think I haven't in many ways, I suppose I haven't lived the way a normal person does. But because I was on the telly from the age of 18 and therefore worried about misbehaving. It sounds like you've had a very sort of beautiful life, actually, your lovely wife and your kids and your family.
Your parents still been around doing very lucky extraordinary action. Yeah, both of my wife's parents and my parents both around. So your kids are sort of late teens and they've still got their grandparents. Yeah. And my dad was an orphan. So it was kind of the total opposite of.
of what I feared, I suppose, to hearing about him. He lost his parents when he was 10. And we've had totally the opposite. That is the sort of the progress of generations and the sort of the quantum leaps that you can make, I think, of health.
Yes. Oh, wow. I tell you what, I've loved this episode, Krishna. I've really enjoyed it. I think you're a fascinating man. And it's so lovely to meet you after, you know, you've been in...
our front room in my ass for donkeys fucking years. Do you know what I mean? So it's very nice to see you in the flesh. Right, wise, it's a huge honour, to be honest. And a big thrill. And what I just want to know, what would now be as we're coming to the end, your famous last words. It'll probably be one of those noises I make when I get up. Yeah, that's like, oh.
Yeah, maybe get older. We do make noises when we move. I make a lot of noises when I move. And it's stopped for a while while I was doing strictly, but it's definitely come back. Right. So it'll probably be sort of an indeterminate noise, or it'll be, you know, the same thing as my plaque, which would be for God's sake.
Beautiful. Well, listen, it's been an absolute pleasure having you die with us today, Christian. But we're going to keep you down here in the underworld for just a little bit longer, because listeners, the marvellous Christian and Guru Murthy is going to join. I remember, I just have to say this, I remember my dad years ago, because my dad was Irish, and I remember when our dad was first to wear a view on the telling.
He was like, geez, that lad now, because he's Guru Morpheus. So, the must be the Irish, maybe the dad is Irish, he was so convinced that he's worthy with the TH. So, anyway, so anyway, so he's going to be joining us over on our bonus podcast six feet under.
with the wonderful goddess Charlie, when we get stuck into more of your fabulous emails. So subscribe on Apple Podcast or head to weathersworldsweight.com for the full experience. Thank you so much for joining us today, Krishnan. Goodbye. Thank you. I almost wish that was true.
You've been listening to where there's a will, there's a wake with me, Cathy Burke. My senior producer is Charlie Morrell, and my producer is Nia Diya, or as I like to call them, my goddesses. Our assistant producer is Rani Prescott. Our engineer for this episode is Josh Gibbs, marketing by Kieran Lansini. Our production coordinator is Eric Ryan, music by Jonathan Rathbone.
and the executive producer is Oli Wilson.
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