Help He Bashed His Bishop

Falling all music buffs. Hey, hey, turn the volume up, yeah. Make me a mix tape is back. I'm Jordan Stevens. I'm Clara Antfout, and this is our weekly music show. A celebrity guest picks the theme. We select the tunes. And we battle it out to create the ultimate mix tape. Made the best music lover we had. Oh, it's about to go down. Let's go! Make me a mix tape. Listen only on BBC Sounds.

Right, for those people that have got mustard for location, whatever, it's cold. M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-

Hello and welcome to Help I Sexted My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life. Answering your 21st century questions and finding solutions to those everyday diet levers. Like, how do you surprise your unsurprisable friend?

How do I get over the fact my ancestor added tattoo? Yeah, mine had two. Oh, yes. And what should you do if I accidentally sexed your boss? But you're not usually like any answer. Oh, William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert. No, we're not. Radio presenter Jordan North. I'm more smart fella. You're more fart smeller. Did I say that right?

Yeah. Yeah. That's from Oliver. Well done. Thank you Oliver. Thank you. Did you show your parents that? Yes. I'm taking it home. My mum and dad were fascinated by it. Yeah. But I've got a great line. And he went, Oh, look love. All the females in your family worked. Wow. Are they still married? Well, that meant to mean four kids, brought them up.

Man and boy. Man and boy. Right, let's do our toast. When we were, just before we recorded, Chairman Emeritus Stewart who's bringing it off for us today, noticed that we normally, it should be as it's gin and debonnet, we should put the bottle gin.

and de bonne, but I think previously what we've been doing is de bonne and then gin, the mavericks we are. Executive Chairman Emeritus shirt, if you're waiting gold for that, we'd be lost without you. Thank you. That's actually the de bonne. I've got a box of tissues for those that are on as well. That is my Agapantheus tissue box that normally sits on the resting table. Oh, is that a posh tissue box?

Yes. Well, just because I think Tissie Boxes, they could actually design some very pretty cardboard, but they don't. Do you have any tissues I can take on? Because I'm using kitsch roll. Well, if John Robbins hasn't stolen them all, there's probably some underneath that desk. Why? What's he been up to? Because he just steals them thinking that we get them as freebies. I paid for them with my cash. Thank you very much.

Anyway, I'm over it. Let's toast Christian James, who is a G and Eva hairdresser who helped his client also a G and Eva have a bliss hour while she was having a hairdresser. How do you do that? Well, presumably just don't talk to them. I'm going on. You put on rivals. I'm going on for the biggest bliss hour of this. I'm glad he's clicking on. It's been a while. No, I'm going to go and...

You are a bit rundown. You're a bit rundown. You're very good health. So I've got, I've gone, you do your bet and then I'll winch about being rundown. Okay. Well, and the big news is on our help I sexed my boss party game, they are being dispatched this week.

Really? Yes, so if you are one of the thousands, and we really do mean thousands who have already ordered a game, it will be with you soon. When it arrives, if you want to take a photo of it and maybe share it with us, perhaps on socials, let us see you open up our box.

Take a watch. Your favourite comedian got cancelled for a similar joke in the 90s. Just be careful. And it is a red box. And it is a red box. Yes. It is a red box. I'm very, actually, very homophobic how he got cancelled for that. Yes, quite, exactly. Anyway, they say that sort of thing on breakfast now. So, I mean, it just sees how, you know, they do actually, because Lewis Capaldi went on and talked about fisting, didn't he? You remember? There's a clip.

Stick to the script. Sorry, open up our big red box, and there are still some left. So if you want to get your hands on it, stock is limited, but get in there quick. The times I've said that, make sure you're dropping very big hints for all your Christmas presents. Sextedmyboss.com slash game. Great. Good. Is where you go. I need to order mine. I need to buy one. You do? I'm going to buy a few. Sextedmyboss.com slash game.

No. Bloody hell. I know, our faces are like, we don't get a bloody discount. I know, I don't even like 10% are free delivery. I'll tell you what I had to do, it was quite embarrassing. Will you text me this week, or maybe to order mine? Yes, that's fine. When I was going over to New York, I'll talk more about that in a minute. I was going to take some friends over there, copy of my book, just good manners, because it's not available in America yet. So I ordered some off a popular website.

and they didn't arrive in time. So I had to go into Waterstones here and buy two copies and I sort of rather sheepishly handed them over as they sort of looked at my face on the cover and looked at me and I went a bit awkward, isn't it? Very you though. Yes. And I didn't bother trying to explain because I thought they'll just think I'm very, very over-explained. Very you. But never mind. Anyway, look, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm alright, I'm not winching. I've had, I've just, yeah, I'm a bit run down. It's the ulcers, it's the mouth. What have you got on your wrist? Oh, oh God, is that still on there? See, I was at, um, Global's made some noise night this way. That was days again. I know, yeah, still on, I'll take it off, God trumps. I thought that was, no. I'm a bit run, it's the mouth ulcers at the worst. The worst? I've got two mouth ulcers in there. Oh, killing one right in corner mouth. I'm not wearing the stiff neck. I've been for,

Um, I got a stiff neck and a cold and... You've chosen a Viagra again. No, you can't get rid of this neck. I've tried... I've had a whole week... I've noticed you in the campus studio with your hot water bottle neck, hot water bottle thing. I've been doing it all with that. But I've tried everything for me neck and I went to see... Not on a Roman therapist. What was it? No, Oscar path. An Oscar path.

I thought it was all a bit nambi-pambi. I don't think osteopathy is nambi-pambi on behalf of all osteoporosis. No, I don't. Well, if you'd let me finish. I'm sorry. So you're like, because obviously physio puts you back together. And this was like quite calm and doing breaths and he's like holding my head. I felt like I was floating at one part. I don't know what happened, but I did feel better afterwards. Although it's still stiff. It's still stiff, but it's a lot better than when I got out of bed on Sunday. And I started panicking. I was like, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, I couldn't get out of it. Bring what number? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Excuse me, I... Let me finish. Let me finish. Excuse me, you'll have your moment, you'll have your thinking. Willing with the eye rolling and going mad but Stuart, Sharon Maristura. We don't say this enough, he's one of the nicest blocks ever and we do love working with him and he's very good. I was expecting him to say, don't worry. Who's called to such a kid? I'll cancel my train because he comes down from Manchesterbury. He just texts and went, yeah, we need to record tomorrow. I was like, I'll brave it. I'll brave it. I'll be fine.

Well, I think it would have helped if you did also make the point in the group that you were still doing your other job. So if you were completely off, you're either fit to work, you're not. I said, FYI, I will be going on to the breakfast show tomorrow because I hate missing radio.

But there's loads of people listening right now who are feeling it. It's that time of year. Yes. It is. It's fine. Just give us our sympathy. I won't win. It's plenty of lunch and early nights. Indeed. Yes. And I also would like to say I said nothing in the entire chat. Mainly because my phone was the other side of the room and I wasn't actually reading the messages until you had dealt with it. But...

I would have said nothing had I been reading them. I look at that also that. It's agony. What if you're putting any, like, Bonjour, or Vaseline on this? Oh, would Vaseline. Vaseline, I hope. It would take away some of the pain. Oh, yeah. A bit of petroleum jelly. I'll try some of that. I've got any left. But I've got me UD.

Make a change to put it up there, won't it? Wow. Jesus Christ. I've got that oodie that I got you. Yes, for our live stream. Didn't we have fun? It was great. The live stream was great. We'll go out and set, but I got that oodie.

I can't but it's great to the point where I catch my reflection in the mirror and feel a little bit sick in my mouth because it's so disgusting. They're not cool but they're so snug. I've not stopped wearing it since the live stream. We have central heating.

Yeah, I don't agree with that. What? I don't agree with central eating, right? I've talked about this before, it makes you soft. I don't mind it on even morning for an hour when you get in ready and you want your towels warm. Yes. I don't mind it on even morning for an hour. I don't mind it on in evening for a couple of hours when you're actually telling it, you know, prefer to put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on, put the fire on

But unless it's freezing, which to be fair at the time recording has been cold the past couple of days. People have it on its own. People have it on its own. Put a big cold on a big good day. What's the difference between a hoodie and an oodie? It's like a blanket round here.

I can't wait for this bliss hour after this day. I'm going to get in that and come on. Can I make a suggestion? Why don't you have a bliss 90 minutes? Oh, well. I think your body needs it. Other than that, you're right. Oh, good. Yeah. Well, the time this episode goes out, the Wicked film will already have been out. My husband will have watched it 12 times by the time the episode goes out. He is seeing it back to back. Of course, yes. Friday and Saturday.

It's meant to be good though. I'm sure it's excellent. I would have seen. I'm seeing it on Friday. You on Capitol, it rather means me were trying to do Elphaba's top notes at the end of Fine Gravity, and that was very funny. How did you know about that? Because I listened.

How do you know about something we did on a big radio station? Jonathan Bailey. Just Jonathan Bailey. Where's Smith come from? Jonathan Vernon Smith is sure I do a radio. Sorry, Jonathan Bailey. As it was branded earlier, the posh podcast. Although, now I'm thinking, Jonathan Vernon Smith as Fierro, I would pay an awful lot of money to see.

Oh, a niche. I mean, that's a niche casting dancing through life. You can call yourself a mix.

Have you seen it yet? No. No, I really want to watch it. That, I'm glad you ate it. I'm going to watch. It's two very different films. Speaking of watches, did you see me on the wheel here on the weekend? I did not see you on the wheel, but my phone went bonkers. I'm yet to catch up because I haven't really had a lot of time at home. But I hear marvellous things about you. You redeemed yourself. It was a very special moment. Yes, it was lovely. But before we get to the ending,

When obviously how the wheel works for those that don't know you have everyone has a specialist subject, but normally it doesn't land on the experts You know statistically it lands on another category. Yeah, but it I think it did land on you for radio No, it didn't but I got it wrong, but you got it wrong. How many how many you ma how many pips are in the pips six? Yeah, I said for it beep beep beep beep No, it's four five. Sorry six. It's five for a five short ones one long one beep beep beep beep

beep beep they could just use that anyway if they want to save some money yeah so watch that but loads of people are messaging saying it didn't take long to mention the girl put 20 past four did I mention it on the wheel as well do you think you know and also you're not mentioning it a lot that I put 20 past four Jordan is literally the only thing you've been saying on this podcast since about April don't piss me off because I'm an option

Don't mention it a lot. I suppose it's been a joke. I can't believe it. Lots of gene divas are like, oops, shark, you mentioned it again. Mmm. Mmm. Odd watching you dole yourself with the tissue. Where are you? What's the etiquette of tissue in the sleeve? I think it's fine if you're 80. German I used to be called young one on this podcast. You present on capital, not classic FM. Yeah, you are right there, but it's just how many have in one of your sleeve and it's cute, isn't it?

I don't think Johnny Vaughn, back in the day, talked to Tissu after seeing you. Did you know that I used to put an elastic band around her? No. To remind you. She's not a media at school, because as long as she's put an elastic band and say, remind me to bring my PE kit and stuff, because you see elastic band. Well, didn't have a nose on it. No, you just see elastic band and it was like, oh, that was your reminder. But once you've just seen an elastic band and go, well, I've got an elastic band. Because then that's what you're doing and you go, oh shit, I need to get my PE kit from Grumbar to Wash.

Right. Oh, Pilks, every day, I have to score used to go and see his grandmas, just to make his tea. Oh, that's nice. Sweet, isn't it? Anyway, how's your week been? What's been up to you? Well, continuing with the obviously Wicked is Mike is big show. My big show, as G&E was all known, is Mary Poppins, back onto Earth, throughout the UK and Ireland. And 41st time's a charm. I went to go and see it at the weekend. Look, he's beaming. You're like a pregnant woman. Just seeing Mary Poppins. Does it have your Botox again?

We'll move on. It's that. Okay, it wasn't meant to happen. So I took Artemis to go and see it at the Bristol Hippodrome, where it started against her. Of course, the original theatre, it started out where I saw it back in 2004. When you were 40. Well, I might even have been 12. It's like in 2004, right? Was it not? You're same age as me, 90, 90, 2004. Oh yeah, okay, then I was 14. Okay, anyway. And it was the making of me. And Artemis loved it. I've taken her previously to see other shows.

which she enjoyed the mary poppin she was joining in with all of them on super cow she was getting up her only criticism which didn't have enough space to dance. I want to like properly dance she was even went for the high note at the end of anything can happen.

She tried to do that never actually seen the show but she clearly worked out it was happening she absolutely loved it to the point where she then has asked her mom whether they can go back every day. Oh there's something you're proud so proud i bet it does it was it was like. And i was there with all my family that live in Bristol they came along as well.

Because they've seen it a few times and enjoy it as well, not quite as much as me, but they do enjoy it. But Tom, my cousin, I can remember taking him to see Mary Poppins when he was just a little bit older than Artemis. And of course, he now adults. So it's sort of lovely that it's been in my life for so long. Was it a good production? It was very good production. Oh, that's good. They did. You know, they've made a few tweaks, but it's generally the same show. And it was marvelous. Like I cried throughout the entire thing.

Did you actually? Literally, the overture started, and I was glad that we were sitting in darkness. Oh, does it just make you that happy? Yep, and Mikey, who was the other side of Artemis, also cried. That's sweet. See, I need to make my life like that. I could say football, but that just makes me hungry. Yeah, I remember when I took my nephews to see it. Well, I think your nephews and my goddaughter are a wide difference. Well, yeah, I said, when this is well-shot, it actually didn't say that. I said, this is well-bad. Yeah. And well-walled.

Well, never mind. It's not for everyone. No, no. But it was very nice. Artemis was a good form. We did a little lunch at my parents just before we went. Do parents know her? They met her? Yes, they do. Oh, what were they like? Yeah, they loved her. She's very sweet. And she was walking around my parents' house before lunch because she's quite active.

Most of my parents' rooms are very tight and very well kept, and they've got a room up the top, which is just in the loft, like a junk room, where boxes are. But it's still very well organized, and Artemis just walks in and goes, well, this room is filthy.

Which I think they were delighted about. You two are going to be best friends. You're just, you're just friends now. Oh, that's so sweet, William. There are some adorable photographs that I'm sure we might be able to share them on the carousel. How was New York, by the way? Yes, well, we should say, I have talked about this on the live stream, but if you, because that was, you know, miss it, miss out. So if you haven't heard about it, we'll recap now if Jordan's going to cling on.

You alright? There's an extra sea stuff again. Go on. Have you got one of those like pummel gums? Thank you, Pardo. Not bringing that in.

No, but you see them in gyms and they're like, oh, that's the thing that someone was using on their what's it? Yeah, it were, yeah. You should see you can borrow that in G&D, but use it on your back. Oh, you're all right, thanks. Thank you anyway. I'll be all right. OK. Yeah, so I had a lovely time in New York. It was there for work. And as I said, lots of rats that came running out at me, which was when you're on your own, it's not what you want. Live stream. That's what we're talking about. Yeah, we were talking about that. What I didn't talk about on the live stream.

And apparently it is a specifically New York thing, and I'm very keen to hear from New York Gene Divas as to why this is, because I've googled and I can't really find out the reason. Speeding my friends that I took my book for for dinner, turned up at this restaurant in the meatpacking district, write your own jokes, and used to be like a really rundown area in New York. Yes, and now it's like fancy. Yes, like King's Crossing London to be fair.

My mum went all the way full of prostitutes and drugs. It was, yes. And I went, how do you know that? She went, I used to know a girl that used to come down to King's Cross. Then go back up. Oh, no, she said there were people that used to do it because it was good for business. Anyway, I'm not going into this. Carry on. That's what they said. And the restaurant I arrived, I think the booking was 6'15". Because, you know, I'm in mid-30s now, so it's quite late. I turned up at 6'10", ahead of my friends, who had made the booking.

And the introduced said, OK, great. You're the first here when everyone's here. We'll see you.

And I said, I'm sorry. He went, please just have a seat at the bar and the bar was packed. I said, well, there was one tiny seat. I thought, I'm not squeezing myself in there. So I said, no, I'll just stand here. So I just stood in front of, well, not in front of him, but sort of at the front. Do you have your handbag over your arm? I had a bag with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like passive aggressive. And I just sort of stood there thinking, yeah, and also the restaurant, I should just say the restaurant was not busy. There were empty tables galore.

I thought, just put me down, sit me down, I'll order a drink, you can start the tab going. Yeah, why do they do that? And apparently it's a very New York thing. Just New York, not America. Well, maybe some other big American cities do it, but we don't do that in London. If the table's ready, see them. It's very odd. I didn't like it. I like going to bar first. No, I don't. No, because by the time you've ordered something, your friends turn up. I feel like you're in a movie.

Really? Yeah, you ate the bar before I was drinking and then you got to see it. I quite like that. Okay, well, I've got a restaurant that you'd like in New York then. Oh, thank you. Oh, send it. Oh, you are actually. Yes. But the food was delicious once I sat down. It was lovely. Was it fish? More fish again? No, it wasn't. No, I stuck to a pasta. Oh, good. I had a book of teeny. Did he? You know me? I'm big into book of teeny. Five times WCW champion. Money a wrestler.

I don't know. Bucketine, he won, bucketine, five time WCW champion and he came over to Raw Monday Night Raw, which is, I think I've seen that. Yeah. Good. Should we, any more for any more? Any more of it, just everyone that watches on the live stream, it was great, had a really good night. I believe you can go onto our YouTube and watch it back. Okay. I believe. God. Has it been interested in any way? No. No, God. Okay, we're right. Interesting.

After these messages at your request, I remember there was an episode a couple of weeks ago where you came up with about 12 different etiquette emollages. Yeah, good ones. Well, I've picked one of them. Not boring ones. Good ones. What was wrong with my toad in the hole? Exactly. Did I tell you I'm a woman that toad in the old? Yes, that's how we got on to the story of your dad's Viagra.

which is in the live stream. Yeah. Watch the live stream. Basically, William and my dad had a 10 minute chat about it. Excuse me. It was a one way chat. My dad would tell him all best brands. I don't use Viagra, William. I've got some really good stuff I get from Iraq. I was like, Dad, move on. Anyway, after these messages at Jordan North request, we're going to talk about tickling. Brilliant. Here are the messages.

Falling all music buffs. Hey, hey, turn the volume up, yeah. Make me a mix tape is back. I'm Jordan Stevens. I'm Clara Antfout, and this is our weekly music show. A celebrity guest picks the theme. We select the tunes. And we battle it out to create the ultimate mix tape. Made the best music lover we had. Oh, it's about to go down. Let's go! Make me a mix tape. Listen only on BBC Sounds.

It's William. William the etiquette geek his knowledge. Knowledge quite unique. He'll give you manners. Manners subtle tweak. It's time for William's etiquette team, etiquette team analogy of the week. Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha.

Cha-cha-cha. Someone on YouTube said that you're only allowed a long cha-cha-cha at the end of your jingle if you fall off your chair. No. Every time. That's probably what the back is. It's probably residual, yes. See you in court, Stuart.

Blame there's a claim. Right. There's all those tissues down there. It's terrible. Lovely. Okay. Now, there are actually two types of tickling. Did you know? Did you know this? No, it isn't. This is scientific now. There's nismesis, which is the sensation you get when an insect crawls on your skin, which is often accompanied by an itch, or when something soft brushes past you. Oh, okay. Like your father. This kind of tickle...

Thank you. Fantastic. Thank you. That was very good. Quite flavourful. Oh, don't you have to shut up. I just shut you down. That was very good. This kind of tickle doesn't cause laughter, but it's believed to be a natural response to danger. The other type of tickling is called gaga lisis, and that was the deeper tickling, often associated with laughter when various parts of the body are stimulated.

Whilst a lot of research has been done, no definitive reason for the laughter has been discovered. While Nismesis is seen in humans and many other animals, Gargalesis is only seen in humans and other primates, possibly rats. It's less possible to tickle yourself because the brain anticipates where the tickle will happen and deadens the nervous system. And apparently, the more the surprise or the uncertainty, the greater level of laughter. When you don't know, it's coming.

The word tickle comes from the middle English to Kellen, which probably came from Ticken, which means to touch lightly. But what's the etiquette of tickling? That's why I said technologies about... Well, yes, but funnily enough, there isn't an etiquette of flipping tickling. Well, obviously, don't tickle a stranger. No. That's the truth there. No, don't tickle a stranger. Also, can I just say... Yes. Low point for me a couple of weeks ago, when we were tickling each other. I think people quite like it. No, I just think two blocks in the 30s tickling each other is just even for us. I draw the line there, William.

But aren't you 29? Yeah, sure. Anyway, at various times in history, tickling has also been used as type of torture, mainly on the feet using a feather. And in Europe, a popular form of tickle torture was to dip the feet into salt water and allowing a goat to lick them. And it would apparently, yeah, but the goat's tongue is very harsh and eventually it would peel the skin off.

Which is quite unpleasant. I really worry about our ancestors. They will not write it. I had some of them. Well, you say ancestors. That service is still available at Madame Floss' knocking shop in Burnley for the price of four butter pies. Very good. So you can always go there. Butter pies are from Preston, but very good. Oh, there you go. It's all the same.

Now it's time for your questions and dilemmas. Remember, if you need our help with something, then get in touch. You can send your tells of trepidation to help at sextedmyboss.com. You can DM us as well. We're at Sexted My Boss on socials, or you can write to William, who in the fullness of time, promises a hundred to imply one of our luxury greeting cards. We've executive celsius envelopes. He's just on the website, sextedmyboss.com. Before we start going to just do a quick blow of your nose. Yes. Thought you'd never ask.

It even hurts my neck to blow, oh my. I'm like a creaking gait, honestly. Oh, I've got one in my sleeve. Put an elastic band on your wrist, you won't forget. This would be a good week for us to be sponsored by Lemship. This first one is from Mike. Hi, guys. I have an etiquette question following on from William's crabling weeny fiasco and help I want Clona willy custody.

What's the etiquette for when you order something new off the menu that you think they're like, but you don't? Do you politely leave it and let the server know it wasn't for you? Or do you just plow through and do your best to finish it? Bit of both in it. Yeah, I mean, it's a great question, Mike. If...

It's a restaurant so if you order it and you don't like it, you're still paying for it you can of course order something new but you're paying for that as well. So. Yeah but if you want to don't like it stuff to pay for the meal that you don't like yes dear yeah because the restaurant's prepared it for you. They've gone they've gone to the expense of using those ingredients. The restaurant don't charge on whether you like it or not they charge on the use of the ingredients.

So I think if you try it, let's say my crabling greenie and I went, oh, do you know what? Don't love this. Now I wouldn't have done this because I was with friends and we had a we had a gig to go to. So I know that was the one at the roundhouse. And I if I ordered then something else, it would have delayed us. So I wouldn't have done. I just sort of, you know, enjoyed one for 10. Indeed. I enjoyed what I had and got on with it. Okay. Yeah. I don't think you have to let them know. You can plow through

and just leave it. I went to a restaurant of a week. I've got to tell you. Curry, they refuse to give us a doggy bag. Oh. I will not be going back there again. We don't do them. There's always left. No. Yeah, but. Excuse me. All right. There's no books here. If you want a doggy bag, you want a doggy bag. I don't care where you are. And then next day, I were fearing because it's always the same when you have a curry. Next day, I was like, well, I could just have a bit of that curry now. I always kept food over. They said, no, sorry, we don't.

Do you know what I've done? And then I went, oh, I didn't know when she did it. They went, no, we physically don't have anything to put it in. Question, were you in a sophisticated Indian restaurant? By that, I mean, maybe in the actual center of London. Out of Michelin style, yeah.

Do you eat anywhere that doesn't have a Michelin star? I'm not doing it. It wasn't mine. It was a treat for a very, very close family member. So it was like a big trick. I didn't book it. It weren't mine. Okay. But also some restaurants, particularly beautiful food. Yeah, I bet it is, but particularly Michelin star or whatever. Don't want you taking. I don't care if you've got a friggin star from space. I want a friggin

Doggy bags. There's a food hygiene concern, particularly with rice-based food, because you can get all sorts of disease off rice. No, no. But if you go and reheat it, there have been lawsuits where people have reheated rice, got ill, and then sued the restaurant. Set the rice off. I'll have the chicken, the sloppy bits. There were loads left over. I just don't think we should start do doggy bags, and I wouldn't have asked.

Well, I think this should. OK, well, it was over the nose. Maybe that can be all great. That can be, you can be the new Jamie Oliver. Instead of the turkey twizzers, you can campaign for doggy bags for Michelin restaurants. Everywhere I should do do doggy bags. You've paid for it. You can take it home here. Put it in panel to outback. I'll wash it up and bring it back. At most restaurants of that caliber, I'm surprised there is even any leftover food, because it's normally a complete domicop. No, yeah. It's like one little bit and a few. Also, when people say Michelin star, right, it's not as fun. It's not like

Find out people think find out it can be it can be but and in all ways don't roll your eyes and you've changed have a look like I'm not like we're Michelin star near you and it'll be a pub in the late decision and you can support long clume for a long clume and beg your pardon so and this is the same it's just it's a really really nice curry what curry was it and it was a broil house is like there's loads of us there's loads of us they do a nice chicken per sander

I don't think they did actually. It's my favourite one, or a paneer. Wendy and Graham were there. Yes, nice. It was good. Do you want to do this lying down? That is not a bad challenge. Next question. This is from Lauren. Hi William Jordan, the sexy team. I've been with my husband for almost 10 years now recently found out that he doesn't change the water in the kettle before boiling it when he makes a coffee.

He just boils whatever's already there in Antimal Waterin. I was frustrated because he didn't seem to understand why I thought it was gross. He even said I was the weird one for changing the water each time. What do you think? I was always taught to empty the castle and refill it every time. Quite right, Lauren. Yeah, you're right. Because I can tell when someone's done it. The water's dull. Very picky with my tea.

and your coffee and my coffee and yeah i put it through Brita filter and then well london water yeah but oh that's how you had descaled me kettle you did yes right it was like being back up north and having a profit bro i know it's fantastic there's that nice bit of nice length where she foams the water broader to say that her water doesn't look like her water it's not as bright and shiny as it normally is brilliant yeah

But I can associate, I know how she feels. Yes, so basically, when you re-boil water that has already been used, you're taking out even more oxygen. It's the oxygen that gives us the bright quality to tea in particular that has tannins, but coffee as well. So you should only really fill the kettle with the amount of water that you need, because obviously it's wasteful to boil water that you aren't going to use. That's my party track now.

I can fill the kettle up, bang on to two brews. Why are you filling up kettles at passes? No, I'm just saying. Don't ever follow the guide on the kettle because they're a load of bollocks, right? If you were at my house and I said, right, I'm brewing up who wants one and say I didn't want one and you wanted one and stew her to me. I said, that's one, two, three, say five brews. I could fill the kettle up perfectly to do five brews.

Well there's a social idea. I can do it for one, I'll prove it's here. We'll test that. Let's test that next week. Is my content getting a bit boring? No, it's descaled you kettle and now we're on to filling up the kettle chat. Carry on. It's kitchen sink content. This comes in from anonymous. Hi boys. My lovely elderly neighbour has been needing support recently, which I'm happy to provide. My dilemma is that even though I've told her I don't mind helping with errand, she keeps buying me gifts to say thank you.

The problem is the gifts are wine and chocolates. I'm tea total and vegan, so I don't use the items and I feel it's a waste of her money. How do I tell a sweet elderly woman this without embarrassing her or seeming ungrateful? Have I left it too late to bring it up?

Well, do you mean you haven't told her at all at your tea table? Yeah, it's probably a bit too late. And that's really sweet before I think. Give you your charity shot. Give them charity. Oh, then plus months of a friends. But also, she sounds like a really nice person, this person, and doesn't want the older person to waste their money. But she's now, every time I drop the grandma off, she used to literally the point where she'd have a tenor in her hand. I'm not taking petrol money off you. She's like, you will. I went, I can't take petrol money from you.

It's a point where she'd dash out, shut the door, then reopen it again, quickly throw a five and I'd take it and run it back off. Grandmas are just like that. All people are. Yeah. Yeah, I remember I had a, well, she wasn't really an aunt, but you know what I mean. Who's friend at family? Friend. I borrowed your dad's orbital sander, that kind of thing. I borrowed my dad's swash. Pete, okay, line, don't matter. I don't think my father had that. But sorry, I borrowed your father's work as orbital sander.

And in year six, we had to do a club at school that you had to pick something. And none of the clubs appealed to me. So I literally picked the least sort of offensive one, which was stamp collecting, which I had no interest in whatsoever. And it obviously got back to her that William's now a stamp collector. And still to the day she died, I must have been 15 or 16. I was sent rare stamps. I'm not interested. And they just went in the bin.

I know I'm sorry to any philatellists listening. Philatellists, stamp collectors. So they're called philatellists? Yeah. Well, they could have been worth thousands. Probably. And you binned them. Yeah.

They're not misnamed to this, they're at home sticking stamps in a book. Have you still got all your Pokemon cards? No. I have. I only like the shiny ones. I've got them all, they're going to be worth thousands of Pokemon. Who was your favourite Pokemon? Pikachu. Obviously. He's cute. Yes. I would see you more as a jigglypuff. Our iron used to get thumbs and brads to sing that today, because he had a song to remember. Just wanted to talk about it in therapy. Gillypuff jiggly. Our iron used to get the bros jingle, isn't it?

Yeah, I like Charizard as well. When he come out, shit got real. Did he come out? No. No, but weren't Brock gay? No. Brock, one of them was gay in Pokemon, weren't they? I've read that recently. Really? No, I'm thinking of Tinky Winky, aren't I? I'm not sure even Tinky Winky was gay. Well, he had a red handbag with him, do the mask.

Don't be so prescriptive. Well, just saying. He was, no, there was. I mean, they were, they were teletubbers. Did they even have a gender? Yeah, fair one. Yeah. Yeah. The big sort of, you know, Dumbledore's gay as well. Yes, we'll be joking around and came out and said that, didn't she? Who else was one of the younger? Dale Winton. Yeah, I reckon Buster Baxter was as well, Arthur's friend and Arthur. Not that I'm out in people.

He was. He was. He was so of its time. He was. That was at Mrs. Rapburn. Yeah, and he was quite campin' it.

Do you remember the episode where it was all singing? Having fun isn't hard. And you've got a library card, having fun. And then he did a full episode where it was singing is one of the best cartoon episodes ever. And it was Dr. Jekyll Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde Hyde, Jekyll Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde, Jekyll Hyde. You've sung this to me before. It's coming back to me. Great, okay. Moving on. Can we answer that question? Probably not. What was it? Oh, the old woman and the gifts. I think you just accept them that it's only wine and it's only chocolate.

You can you can re-gift those it won't go. I'm sure that she must have the money if she's spending on it must have to dispatch. Yeah and also remember it is a generational thing because probably in her day there was no one that was too total and there was no one that was vegan so it's not really a thing. Yeah but she's in house freezing and no eating and you can see a breath in your house probably best to say, pop the eating on, save your money. As long as you can see her breath, then otherwise you'd have to worry. All right William Christ, we've got more to let was in a minute.

Calling all music buffs. Hey, hey, turn the volume up, yeah. Make me a mix tape is back. I'm Jordan Stevens. I'm Clara Antfout, and this is our weekly music show. A celebrity guest picks the theme. We select the tunes. And we battle it out to create the ultimate mix tape. May the best music love a win. Oh, it's about to go down. Let's go! Make me a mix tape. Listen only on BBC Sounds.

Okay, so this next one is another anonymous dilemma. Hi boys, so I'd finished an ice shift as an Earth 7.15am, navigated the school round and finally got into bed at around 9.40am. I live in a grove with polite and neighbourly people. My next-door neighbour is always courteous, and if he has any major work planned, he'll let us know. I was woken up at 11.30am by what can only be described as a drilling.

I tried to, like you, I tried to ignore it and get some rest, but it didn't let up. I peaked out the blinds to see if someone was working outside, but I couldn't see anything. Five and a half hours later, the drilling noise was still going. I messaged my neighbour on Facebook, politely asking if the noise was coming from their home. Drilling is fine, but why for the whole day? What could they possibly be doing? Eventually, I followed the sound and discovered my lady toy had been activated while I was putting away the washing that morning. Oh, you poor cow!

Oh, you, as someone that works early, I get off the toilet, that's fine. If you wake me up during my nap or when I was on over there, oh, you couldn't move in or else for my dad when I'm not shifts. Yeah. Also, how ferocious is this lady toy if you think it's a drill coming from next door? It had been vibrating away on full power in my chest of drawers. How does one go about trying to save face in this situation after accusing a neighbor of drilling all day? Just say sorry with me if I ever had vibrator.

Oh, I'm fuming for you because she would have been knackered down the next shift. There's no worse.

Yeah, I'm all gutted about your missing out and you sleep. Well, I also wouldn't worry on this because if it wasn't, if it wasn't your neighboring, he'd go, no, that wasn't me. He won't, he, they, she won't give any further thought. Yeah, I was powerful as you do, though, because you sleep. Yeah, can you write in? Yeah, I'll, I'll just ask him for a friend. Terminator 3000 or something. Shermanator. Shavenator or something. What was it? Shavenator. I don't know. The heck is it doing?

Sounds like a very powerful dildo. You don't want that on a vibrate, so you can tell you what on an airport and the mums were going off. Sometimes you say things and I'm not convinced your family want them. And I remember about 14, 15, we're going to Magaloth and we were vibrating and the mum looked at me, dad looked at me, mum and I thought, oh my God, and she had everything out, she had all security around there.

She said, oh, it's alright, it's only Graham's nose clippers. Oh, like, thank God. Okay. Finally, one from Sammy. Good evening, William Jordan, EPB. My partner and I have a German shepherd with epilepsy. So we have cameras in the house to keep an eye on Layla, the dog. Bond, finally, it is one of the worst occasions for her. So whilst at work, I checked the cameras to make sure Layla was okay. Oh, God. Don't leave him on a roll on Bond, fine, eh? Only to catch my partner bashing the bishop.

No, I think this is a regular proper. I don't like cameras in the house. I don't. Can I ask? It's bashing the bit that they were having an affair with someone from the church. No, he was probably as bliss out when he was having a wank. Okay, putting it bluntly. What's the etiquette for this? Do I tell him? Do I keep it to myself? Or do I save it for when he tries to embarrass me and use it for revenge? Again, it's the answer pretending not to notice. I don't think you... I'll bring it up.

What are you hoping to achieve? What are you hoping to achieve? You have a good day today. Yeah, do much. Planning a wank. If they had said that they hadn't been able to do certain jobs because they were very busy, that's perhaps when you could go. Really? Because the camera says otherwise. I'd say it. But you were functioning all the night tonight. You don't. What was that? Because you came earlier today because you had a wank. I seen it on the cameras.

Wow. Yeah. OK. No, I just don't think you can achieve anything. Don't put that in the trailer. I don't think you can achieve anything from bringing it up. So I probably would. If you could laugh about it.

You put privacy. I mean, admittedly, if you knew you had to get presumably your partner knows that there was a camera there. So I mean, he's asking for it. What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can't beat an egg. No, you do it. You can beat an egg. OK. You do it wrong every time. Every time you do it wrong. And I hear it every time. What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg. Sorry. And then you let them work the rest out.

All right, OK, that's a great one to end up talking about. This morning I was doing the Jeremy Vine TV show and he came out as bisexual, but he actually met ambidextrous, but he literally said on air he went, I'm bisexual and I'm sorry. He's losing the plot. He works very long hours, but he means he uses both his left and right hand. Where do you get bisexual? I don't know. Very intelligent man, but.

I've never met him before. Have you not? Oh, I have, yeah. He's a nice guy. Yeah. He's always on his bike any around London. Yes. Famously. God, he dates me in a car and in filming, yeah. So I'm not the best driver.

Are you not? I'm terrible. No, you're not actually. There's this thing that we're doing in February where you potentially will be driving me, although I have been asked to be the driver because it is known that you're not a good driver. No, you find I will drive. But you've just told me you're not a good driver. Yeah, but it's fine. I'll drive. You can put the playlist together. No fucking flying gravity or whatever it's coming. Flying gravity. That will be the other one. Yeah. It will be, it will be step in time and then the thing can happen.

You can have one Mary Popping song and Mikey can pick one. And I'll do rest. I'm really into Chris Stapleton at the moment. Chris Stapleton should probably lean. What type of music? Uh, let's say Western, Country in Western. Oh, and we see like Dicks and Dallas. We can listen to Dicks and Dallas. There we go, we'll do it. Thank you for your questions and dialogue. Remember you can listen and watch every Tuesday and Friday and on the next episode we've got

and exciting and awesome doing and another surprise we will hear your surprise fails we do yeah see you on Friday bye bye

Falling all music buffs. Hey, hey, turn the volume up, yeah. Make me a mix tape is back. I'm Jordan Stevens. I'm Clara Antfout, and this is our weekly music show. A celebrity guest picks the theme. We select the tunes. And we battle it out to create the ultimate mix tape. Made the best music lover we had. Oh, it's about to go down. Let's go! Make me a mix tape. Listen only on BBC Sounds.