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    Happiness Is an Option for You: 4 Easy Habits That Make Your Life Better Based on Research

    enJune 29, 2023
    How is happiness defined in the text?
    What role do meaningful connections play in happiness?
    Can happiness coexist with fear and pain?
    What are anchor points for happiness according to the text?
    How should we approach the journey of happiness?

    Podcast Summary

    • The Continuous Journey of Happiness and GrowthTrue happiness is not about feeling good all the time, but about finding joy and fulfillment in the pursuit of our goals and embracing growth even in difficult times.

      Happiness is not solely based on pleasure or feeling good in the moment. It is about experiencing joy and moving towards our potential, even in the midst of fear and pain. Happiness should not be defined as a state of perfection or the absence of stress, but rather as a continuous journey of growth and progress. We should redefine happiness in a way that aligns with the joy we feel when we are not stagnant and when we are actively pursuing our goals. It is important to understand that happiness and joy can coexist, even in challenging and exhausting situations, and that true happiness is not a destination but a mindset and way of living.

    • The Interconnected Relationship Between Happiness and JoyTrue happiness comes from within, not external factors. Personalizing advice and tools can help improve and find more happiness in our lives.

      Happiness and joy are interconnected; they work together. Happiness is not just about fleeting moments of pleasure, but also includes moments of struggle and growth. It's not where you are that determines Happiness, but whether or not there's growth and meaningful progress in your life. External factors like money, job, or a partner may seem like predictors of Happiness, but true Happiness comes from within. It is important to shift our thinking and find Happiness within ourselves, rather than relying on external things. Personalizing advice, research, and tools can help make them deeply relevant and applicable to the areas of our lives where we want to improve and find more Happiness.

    • The Disconnect Between External Success and Internal HappinessTrue happiness comes from within and cannot be guaranteed by external factors such as success or possessions. Focusing on internal fulfillment is crucial for lasting happiness.

      External factors such as success, achievements, and possessions do not guarantee happiness. Research shows that happiness can be found in surprising places, while unhappiness can exist even in those who seem to have everything. A study at Harvard revealed that 80% of students experienced debilitating depression, and 10% contemplated suicide. This illustrates the disconnect between external success and internal happiness. The brain constantly changes the definition of success, leading to a never-ending pursuit of happiness. The key takeaway is that true happiness comes from within, not from external achievements or circumstances. Changing one's mindset and focusing on internal fulfillment is crucial in finding lasting happiness.

    • The Elusive Pursuit of Happiness and the Power of Shifting MindsetsTrue happiness comes from making progress towards goals and embracing gratitude, not from external factors. Shifting our mindset to focus on the positive aspects of life can create happiness even in difficult times.

      The key takeaway from this conversation is that our brains are designed to constantly move the goalposts of happiness, making it difficult to achieve long-lasting satisfaction. External factors like relationships, money, and career may be blamed for unhappiness, but the real issue lies within ourselves. It is important to acknowledge this pattern and understand that true happiness comes from making progress towards our goals, rather than solely achieving them. To change our mindset, we must recognize that there are multiple realities in any given moment. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives and embracing gratitude, we can create happiness even in the midst of a broken world.

    • Simple Habits for Happiness and Combatting DepressionPracticing gratitude, exercise, mindfulness, and positive social connections can lead to improved happiness, reduced stress, and stronger social bonds, benefiting both yourself and those around you.

      Practicing gratitude, exercise, mindfulness, and positive social connections are simple habits that can significantly improve happiness levels and combat depression. These habits, recommended by Shawn, have been backed by research and proven to be effective. Taking just a few minutes each day to write down things you're grateful for, going on brisk walks, practicing mindfulness by focusing on your breath, and sending positive emails to others for 21 days can lead to improvements in accuracy, happiness, stress levels, and social connections. These habits can have a positive impact not only on your own well-being but also on the biochemical patterns and stress levels of those around you. Taking action and implementing these habits can result in a significant positive shift in your life.

    • The Power of Consistency and Support in Creating Positive Habits and Overcoming ObstaclesConsistently practicing positive habits, seeking support, and fostering connections can lead to happiness and make daunting tasks more manageable.

      Consistency and persistence are key in training the brain and creating positive habits. Even when Shawn felt depressed and saw no immediate change in his life, he continued practicing gratitude, journaling, exercising, and performing acts of kindness. These habits became the building blocks for his happiness. The turning point for Shawn was when he reached out to his close friends and family for support and shared his struggle with depression. This support and connection significantly changed his perception of the challenges he faced. The study he later found demonstrated that when facing a difficult task alone, our brain perceives it as more daunting. However, when we have someone by our side, the task appears more manageable. This highlights the importance of seeking support and fostering connections in overcoming obstacles.

    • The Power of Connection and Support in Finding HappinessHappiness is not achieved alone; it is found through connecting with others, seeking support, and changing the narrative surrounding challenges. Prioritizing meaningful social bonds can lead to a brighter and more joyful life.

      The key takeaway from this text is that happiness is not an individual pursuit, but a team sport. Connecting with others and seeking support and help can lead to more joy and happiness, even in difficult times. The power of social bonds and meaningful narratives can help overcome challenges like depression. Admitting struggles and reaching out to others is a turning point in overcoming loneliness and isolation. By changing the narrative and reaching out, it is possible to find hope and intrinsic lift. Happiness is a topic that requires going through tough times before finding joy again. It is important to prioritize connecting with others and amplifying happiness.

    • Finding True Happiness Through Meaningful ConnectionsHappiness comes from meaningful connections and a sense of purpose, not from achievements or external factors. Focus on creating and nurturing meaningful relationships to find lasting happiness.

      The key takeaway is that our happiness fluctuates between different aspects of our lives, such as work and personal relationships. It's important to have anchor points, which are values and meaningful connections that give us a sense of purpose and happiness. These anchor points can come from other people and the meaningful impact we have in their lives. Loneliness is not about the number of people in our lives, but rather the absence of meaning in our relationships. To find happiness, we need to focus on creating meaning and being a meaningful presence in other people's lives. It's not about achievements or external quantifications, but about finding and creating meaningful connections with others.

    • The Importance of Connecting with Others for Happiness and MeaningBuilding meaningful relationships and connecting with others plays a crucial role in finding true happiness and meaning in life. A simple practice of daily gratitude can help increase social connections and fulfillment.

      Happiness and meaning cannot be achieved alone. Our search for fulfillment often leads to a feeling of uncertainty and instability. It is important to recognize that there is a middle path in life, where we accept that we are not perfect but continue to make a meaningful impact on others. One effective practice is writing a two-minute email praising or thanking someone each day, which helps us connect with others and increase our social connection score. This interplay with the ecosystem of people around us is essential for finding true Happiness and meaning. Just like fireflies attract mates by lighting up individually, our fulfillment comes from connecting with others and forming meaningful relationships.

    • The Power of Social Connection and Meaningful RelationshipsBuilding positive connections and deep relationships is crucial for happiness and success. Our happiness can impact others, so it's important to actively nurture and build meaningful connections in our lives.

      The key takeaway from the text is that social connection and meaningful relationships are essential for happiness and success. It is not about being the fastest, smartest, or brightest individual, but about lighting up with others and creating virtuous cycles. The research on fireflies shows that when they lit up together, their success rate increased significantly. Similarly, in humans, the greatest predictor of long-term happiness is social connection and the depth of meaning in relationships. It is important to take actionable steps and not just have knowledge or beliefs. Happiness is not an individual pursuit, but a team sport, where our happiness and joy can uplift and impact everyone around us.

    • Finding Happiness in Challenging TimesDiversify your sources of happiness and support others in their journey. Strive for balance in your overall well-being by engaging in meaningful activities and developing fulfilling relationships.

      Finding happiness can be challenging when the people around us, especially our loved ones, are unhappy. It is natural to feel deeply unhappy when our children or family members are going through a difficult time. However, it is important to diversify our sources of happiness and not rely solely on one aspect of our lives. Just like a diversified investment portfolio, we should have different meaningful activities and relationships that bring us joy. By doing so, we can navigate through the ups and downs of life and find balance in our overall well-being. It is also crucial to hold space for others and support them in their journey, understanding that we cannot fix their problems, but we can be there for them.

    • Embracing All Emotions and Finding Happiness in Challenging TimesIt is crucial to acknowledge and address moments of grief and suffering while actively seeking out the positive aspects of life, finding a balance between negative and positive thoughts. Practical tools and habits can help regain happiness, even in the face of chronic illness.

      Even though it may be difficult, it is important to address and acknowledge moments of grief and suffering. Happiness doesn't mean feeling happy all the time; it involves recognizing and embracing all emotions. Mel emphasizes the significance of finding a balance between negative and positive thoughts, and actively seeking out the positive aspects of life. While it is important to show empathy and support to individuals experiencing depression or sadness, it is equally important to provide them with practical tools and habits that can help them regain happiness. Additionally, the question of leading a happier life while dealing with chronic illness is raised, highlighting the need to find motivation, hope, and joy amidst challenging circumstances.

    • Choosing Happiness: An Exploration of Options and ApproachesHappiness is a choice that can be found through meaningful connections, serving others, finding purpose in the journey, and working towards our goals.

      Happiness is an option that we can choose in various aspects of our lives. It's about recognizing that there are multiple ways to approach and attain happiness, without feeling burdened by the idea of having to make the 'right' choice. While it may be harder in challenging situations like discrimination, health issues, or parenting struggles, happiness remains an option. Meaningful connections with others and serving/helping others can also bring joy and fulfillment to our lives. Instead of waiting for external achievements to make us happy, finding meaning in the journey itself, and working towards our goals can lead to a more fulfilling life.

    • The Power of Individual Mindsets and Behaviors in Creating Ripple EffectsEmbracing gratitude and meaningful activities can lead to personal growth and happiness, which in turn positively impacts others and all aspects of our lives.

      By changing the mindset and behavior of individuals within a system, we can see a ripple effect on people even several degrees of separation away. Happiness and meaning are interconnected; it is difficult to have one without the other. Gratitude journaling helps us shift our focus from our own misery to the bigger picture, expanding our potential. It's important to play a bigger game in life and not get caught up in self-centeredness. Instead, we should embrace meaningful activities and let others be a part of our lives. By filling our glass with experiences of joy and personal growth, we can have a positive impact on all aspects of our lives. It's not about the water in the glass, but the fact that we have a glass to fill and empty.

    • Finding Happiness: Changing Mindset, Behavior, and ConnectionHappiness is within reach for everyone; take action, make positive changes, love yourself, and embrace happiness as a choice to open the door to a happier life.

      The key takeaway from this podcast is that happiness and joy are within reach for everyone. By changing our mindset, behavior, and connecting with others, we can radically change our lives for the better. It is important to not only think about what we learn, but also put it into action. The Mel Robbins Podcast emphasizes the importance of taking action and making positive changes. It is a reminder that happiness is a choice, and we should embrace it. The podcast also reminds us to love and believe in ourselves, and to push open the door to a happier life. It serves as both an educational and entertaining resource, but it is not a substitute for professional advice.

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    • 55:16 Sometimes, things that don’t work out may lead to an opening to a better path
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    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Uniquely singular: Exploring what it means to be rare

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    SOURCES and RESOURCES

    On Positive Psychology

    thehappymovie.com

    Dan Gilbert's TED talk

    Laurie Santos Yale class on Coursera

    "The Difference Between Positive Thinking and Positive Psychology," www.psychologyofwellbeing.com

    "If We Are So Rich, Why Aren't We Happy?" Semantic Scholar, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

    "Positive Psychology," Harvard Health Publishing.

    "A Simple Exercise to Increase Well-Being and Lower Depression," brainpickings.org.

    "Changing World Happiness," The World Happiness Report. 

    "What is Positive Psychology, and What Is It Not?" Christopher Peterson, Psychology Today.

    "Exploring the Concept of Positive Health," The Robert J. Wood Foundation.

    "What is Positive Psychology and Why is it Important?" positivepsychology.com

    Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, Tal Ben-Shahar (good intro to positive psychology).

    The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale (recall that this is about positive thinking, not positive psychology).

    Fred Rogers' Emmy Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech, 1997.

     

    Light Therapy

    "Q and A on Bright Light Therapy," columbia.edu

    "Seasonal Affective Disorder Treatment: Choosing a Light Therapy Box," mayoclinic.org

    Verilux HappyLight Therapy Lamp

    DISCLAIMER

    Neither I nor my podcast guests are doctors or healthcare professionals of any kind, and nothing on this podcast or associated content should be considered medical advice. The information provided by Wellness While Walking Podcast and associated material, by Whole Life Workshop and by Bermuda Road Wellness LLC is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment, and before undertaking a new health care regimen, including walking. 

    Some links may be affiliate links.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    #041 – Handling Criticism (Assertiveness Pt 12) [Podcast]

    #041 – Handling Criticism (Assertiveness Pt 12) [Podcast]

    I have a very tough time handling criticism … being criticized, corrected, or accused – of even the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily. I’ve wrestled this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for my daughter […]

    The post #041 – Handling Criticism (Assertiveness Pt 12) [Podcast] appeared first on First Things.

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