Mindful Parenting: Parents can manage anxiety effectively by incorporating brief mindfulness practices into their daily routines, turning even mundane tasks into opportunities for meditation, promoting overall well-being without requiring extensive time commitments.
Parents often struggle with anxiety, especially while raising young children, and many feel they don't have time for meditation. However, Dan Harris suggests that meditation isn't about long sessions; instead, it can be integrated into daily life in short bursts. Simple practices like being mindful during routine tasks can help parents manage stress and connect with their physical sensations. By taking just a minute or two throughout the day, parents can cultivate a sense of calm and present-moment awareness, leading to a happier and more balanced life. These 'mindful moments' can replace less constructive habits like doom-scrolling, offering parents practical strategies to handle their anxieties while navigating parenting.
Mindfulness Journey: Meditation helps manage anxiety by training the mind to notice distractions. Instead of trying to clear your mind, focus on returning your attention each time you wander, which ultimately strengthens your concentration and mindfulness.
Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but meditation is a powerful tool to help manage it. Many people struggle with meditation and feel they aren’t doing it right, but distractions during meditation are actually a normal part of the process. The goal is not to clear your mind but to notice when your thoughts wander. Each time you refocus, you strengthen your ability to concentrate, which can lead to greater mindfulness and control in your daily life. Over time, this practice rewires your brain, improving your attention and reducing anxiety, allowing you to better navigate the chaos of thoughts that often dominate our minds. By understanding this, anyone can approach meditation with more confidence, embracing the distractions as a vital part of the learning experience.
Mindfulness in Parenting: Practicing mindfulness and recognizing our automatic thoughts can improve our reactions as parents, helping us stay present rather than projecting fears about the future onto our children.
Mindfulness helps us recognize our automatic thoughts and fears, particularly those related to parenting. Instead of jumping to conclusions about our children’s future behavior, we can notice and let go of these thoughts. By naming this tendency, like the Buddhist term 'Prabhancha,' we can respond more calmly and directly to the present moment, avoiding unnecessary anxiety. This clarity enhances our awareness and guides our actions, allowing us to connect better with our kids. Acknowledging that such mental patterns are common can alleviate some of the pressure we feel. Meditation is one effective tool to cultivate this self-awareness, but there are many ways to develop a clearer understanding of our thoughts and reactions, preventing them from distorting our perception of reality.
Modeling Mindfulness: A parent's behavior influences their child's mindfulness more than lectures, highlighting the need for self-improvement and awareness in this fast-paced life.
Revisiting his book after ten years, the author reflects on how much he has changed and what he learned as a parent. He emphasizes the importance of modeling healthy behaviors for children rather than lecturing them, illustrating how his own son has naturally adopted meditation. Even amidst struggles, he finds joy in parenting and underscores the value of being present and regulating emotions, which helps him appreciate everyday moments. Life moves quickly, and he advises others to focus on consistent self-improvement practices like meditation and therapy to cultivate happiness over time. This ultimately creates a positive environment for children, encouraging them to be mindful too, suggesting that much of what they learn comes through observation rather than instruction.
Mindful Parenting: Busy parents can enhance mindfulness by integrating awareness into daily tasks, like washing dishes. Starting small and being forgiving of setbacks fosters emotional regulation and better parenting practices.
Starting mindfulness practices as a busy parent can be challenging, but small, intentional steps make it easier. Integrating moments of awareness into daily routines, like doing dishes, helps parents focus on the present rather than getting lost in overwhelming thoughts. Even brief moments of mindfulness can help break negative thought patterns, allowing for a calmer, more regulated mindset while parenting. It's important to be gentle with oneself, recognizing that perfection isn't necessary in forming new habits. Set realistic expectations, accept setbacks as part of the process, and re-engage with mindfulness wherever possible. Over time, this practice can lead to improved emotional regulation, healthier interactions with children, and a greater sense of peace in the daily chaos of parenting. By consciously tuning into the sensations of mundane tasks, parents can cultivate awareness and better manage their thoughts and feelings, ultimately benefiting their relationship with their children and their own well-being.
Mindfulness Practice: Meditation isn't about perfection; it's about embracing distractions, finding moments for mindfulness, and practicing self-forgiveness in our busy lives. Small daily activities can become opportunities for being present, making it easier to integrate mindfulness despite technology's distractions.
Meditation can be a beneficial practice to help us tune into the present moment, yet many people struggle with it, feeling they are not doing it correctly. Rather than judging ourselves harshly, it’s important to recognize that distractions are part of the process. Small moments throughout the day, like walking to the bathroom or eating, can become opportunities for practicing mindfulness. By noticing physical sensations and being aware of our thoughts without forcefully controlling them, we can make meditation a more integrated part of our busy lives. Embracing the idea of ‘right effort’ allows us to find balance, and we learn to be forgiving of ourselves and our children’s mistakes. In our tech-driven world, creating mindful moments becomes even more crucial, helping to counter distraction and fostering a better understanding of our minds.
Self-Compassion: Embrace self-compassion as a parent by treating yourself with kindness, recognizing mistakes as growth opportunities, and understanding that improvement takes time.
Being a parent is incredibly challenging, and we often hold ourselves to unrealistic standards in how we parent and approach life. It’s important to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to our children. Self-compassion can help us recognize that mistakes are part of being human and provide opportunities for growth. Rather than harshly judging ourselves for our shortcomings, we can adopt a nurturing inner voice. Imagine having a supportive coach like Dr. Becky in your mind to guide you through these tough moments. Remember that improvement isn't always linear and that it’s okay to be messy and take small steps. Over time, these small changes can lead to significant progress. By acknowledging our imperfections and showing ourselves grace, we can foster a healthier mindset for ourselves and, consequently, for our children too.
From "Good Inside with Dr. Becky": If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
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Recent Episodes from Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Optimize This: If You Care About Mental And Physical Health, This May Be The Missing Piece | Kasley Killam
Up until now, in our culture, we’ve generally talked about physical health and mental health–but there’s an emerging consensus that the missing piece is social health.
But what can you actually do to improve your social health? Today we’re going deep with the scientist who has thought a lot about this, and has a ton of good advice.
Kasley Killam, MPH, is a leading expert in social health and the award-winning author of The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier. As a graduate of the Harvard School of Public Health, sought-after advisor and keynote speaker, and founder of Social Health Labs, Killam has been improving global well-being through connection for over a decade. Her collaborations with organizations like Google, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the World Economic Forum contribute to building more socially healthy products, workplaces, and communities. Killam’s insights can be found in outlets such as The New York Times, Forbes, NPR, Scientific American, Psychology Today, and The Washington Post.
In this episode we talk about:
- Why social health is so important, and how it impacts our physical and mental health
- How to figure out what your social style is
- Tips for strengthening your social muscles
- What you can do to boost your social health muscles
- How much vulnerability is appropriate
- How to have a healthy relationship with yourself
- How legislation could help with social health
- Emerging industries for social fitness
- And lastly, how we can work towards creating a society that cultivates connection
Related Episodes:
Self-Compassion Ain’t Always Soft | Kristin Neff
Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff
Rethinking Success | Mia Birdsong
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Tuning Your Inner Compass | Bonus Meditation with Emily Horn
Without a good compass, it is hard to have a sense of direction. Our inner world is much the same—and you can fine-tune your aim in life by sensing where you are right now.
About Emily Horn:
Emily Horn is on the core team of Buddhist Geeks, which integrates technology, culture, and meditation. She is authorized to teach meditation by Spirit Rock Meditation Center, Insight Meditation Society, and InsightLA, and has been called a “power player of the mindfulness movement" by Wired Magazine.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Tuning Your Inner Compass.”
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What To Do When You’re Angry | Matthew Brensilver, Vinny Ferraro, Kaira Jewel Lingo
A deep dive on one of the thorniest and most destructive states of mind.
For this episode, Executive Producer DJ Cashmere interviewed a trio of brilliant Dharma teachers to get their advice about how to handle anger. This is the first in a series of 'correspondent' episodes, in which DJ identifies a pain point in his life and meditation practice, then goes out into the world to report on the best ways to address it.
Kaira Jewel Lingo is a former nun in the Plum Village tradition started by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Vinny Ferraro teaches at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, and also in prisons. Matthew Brensilver teaches at many of the same retreat centers, and spent many years working in the field of addiction pharmacotherapy.
Related Episodes:
- 3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo
- How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo
- Three Buddhist Practices For Getting Your Sh*t Together | Vinny Ferraro
- Why Self-Hatred Makes No Sense | Matthew Brensilver
- How to Actually Be Present | Matthew Brensilver
- The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross
- I Just Went Through A Career Earthquake: This Is What's Next.
- How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy
- Get Happier Without Losing Your Edge | Kamala Masters
- Best of the Archives: Making it RAIN | Tara Brach
- Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff
Also, the teachers’ sites:
Vinny Ferraro's Course, A Year To Live
https://www.matthewbrensilver.org/
Feedback form: Let us know what you think!
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Dr. Sanjay Gupta On The 5 Pillars Of Brain Health
Dr. Sanjay Gupta is the multiple Emmy Award-winning chief medical correspondent for CNN and host of the CNN podcast Chasing Life. Gupta, a practicing neurosurgeon, plays an integral role in CNN’s reporting on health and medical news for all of CNN’s shows domestically and internationally. In addition to his work for CNN, Gupta is an associate professor of neurosurgery at Emory University Hospital and associate chief of neurosurgery at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta. He is the author of four New York Times best-selling books, “Chasing Life” (2007), “Cheating Death” (2009), “Monday Mornings” (2012), and “Keep Sharp: Building a Better Brain” (2020).
In this episode we talk about:
- Sanjay’s origin story and how he got interested in the brain in the first place
- The mysteries of consciousness
- We dive into his five pillars of brain health
- How you can grow new brain cells by moving the body (but in certain ways)
- Key skills for challenging your brain
- We hear about some meditation tips Sanjay picked up from the Dalai Lama
- Whether we should worry alone or with other people
- And lastly, why it’s so important for men to have vulnerable conversations with each other
Related Episodes:
The Dalai Lama’s Guide to Happiness
#230: The Power of Rest | Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
#614. Your Brain on Food | Dr. Uma Naidoo
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You Can’t Always Get What You Want: A Guided Meditation On Frustration | Bonus Meditation with JoAnna Hardy
This practice is an opportunity to take a break from *thinking* about frustration and feel a little bit of balance, ease, and patience.
About JoAnna Hardy:
JoAnna Hardy can talk about meditation to pretty much anybody. She not only teaches in traditional environments like retreat centers, but also in both schools and jails. JoAnna has been studying meditation for nearly two decades and she's done some amazing work ensuring that the practice is available to people who might not otherwise have access to it. JoAnna teaches at the Insight Meditation Society, at Spirit Rock, and is a Founding Member of The Meditation Coalition.
To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “When You’re Frustrated.”
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From "Good Inside with Dr. Becky": If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right
Bringing you an episode of Good Inside with Dr. Becky Kennedy.
Even if you don't consider yourself an anxious person, once you become a parent, it is easy to start worrying about the health and wellbeing of your child. But parents need to learn to manage their anxiety for themselves and their kids. To celebrate the 10th anniversary of his book, 10% Happier, Dan Harris joins Dr. Becky to dispel some of the myths about meditation and to show parents how meditation can be a practical strategy in their everyday lives.
Check out Dr. Becky's appearance on the 10% Happier Podcast here.
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Tara Brach Has A Counterintuitive Strategy For Navigating Tumultuous Times
A (potentially challenging) Buddhist recipe handling anxious times.
Tara Brach, a legendary meditation teacher, psychologist, and frequent flier on this show. She is the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington and has been active in bringing meditation into schools, prisons and underserved populations. She has also written several books including Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion and Trusting the Gold.
In this episode we talk about:
- A Buddhist tradition known as the Bodhisattva teachings… which are quite radical… and which Tara thinks can vastly improve your life… and the health of democracy.
- We also talk about: why some people might think this stuff is too soft
- 4 practices to develop compassion
- A mindfulness technique known as RAIN
- How mindfulness can help you see what is beneath your anger
- Letting distress be a portal—and the amazing phrase, “action absorbs anxiety”
- How to get active when you have limited time
- And how to counteract the tendency to numb out
Tara also recorded a guided meditation based on this conversation, which you can find on www.DanHarris.com.
Related Episodes:
- The Dalai Lama’s Guide To Happiness
- Vitamin E: How To Cultivate Equanimity Amidst Political Chaos | Election Sanity Series | Roshi Joan Halifax
- A Counterintuitive Source of Hope | Sebene Selassie
- Best of the Archives: Making it RAIN | Tara Brach
- Can You Handle This? | Tara Brach
- How to Stop the War Against Yourself | Tara Brach
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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/tarabrach-833
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The Harvard Scientist Who Says You Can Use Your Thoughts To Improve Your Health | Ellen Langer
The connection between your psychology and your health, and how to work with it.
Ellen J. Langer is the author of eleven books, including the international bestseller
Mindfulness, which has been translated into fifteen languages, and Counterclockwise:
Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility. Most recently, she is the author of The
Mindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health.
Langer is the recipient of, among other numerous awards and honors, a Guggenheim
Fellowship, the Award for Distinguished Contributions to Psychology in the Public
Interest from the American Psychological Association, the Award for Distinguished
Contributions of Basic Science to the Application of Psychology from the American
Association of Applied and Preventive Psychology, and the Adult Development and
Aging Distinguished Research Achievement Award from the American Psychological
Association.
She is the author of more than 200 research articles and her trailblazing experiments in
social psychology have earned her inclusion in The New York Times Magazine’s “Year
in Ideas” issue. A member of the psychology department at Harvard University and a
painter, she lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
In this episode we talk about:
- The power of placebos
- Why she isn’t a fan of positive thinking as it is talked about in new age circles
- Her version of mindfulness, which is quite different from the version we usually talk about here on the show, which comes out of Buddhism
- Psychological treatments for chronic illness
- Smart strategies for reframing aging.
- Why the world would be boring if you knew it all
- What she means by her concept of a “mindful utopia”
- And her favorite one liners
Related Episodes:
- The Science Of Manifestation: Can This Stanford Neuroscientist Convince A Skeptical Dan To Give It A Shot? | Dr. James R. Doty
- How to Get the Wisdom of Old Age Now | Dilip Jeste
- Tripping Out with a Legend: Jon Kabat-Zinn on Pain vs. Suffering, Rethinking Your Anxiety, and the Buddha's Teaching in a Single Sentence
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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/ellen-langer-832
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A Guided Meditation For First Thing In The Morning | Bonus Meditation with Alexis Santos
Start focused on what's truly important. When you pause to remember the big picture, your day can move forward grounded in integrity & wisdom.
About Alexis Santos:
Alexis has practiced and taught Insight Meditation in both the East and West since 2001. He has been a long-time student of Sayadaw U Tejaniya (a well respected meditation teacher in Burma whose teachings have attracted a global audience), and his teaching emphasizes knowing the mind through a natural and relaxed continuity -- a style of practice that's particularly useful during our crazy lives. Alexis has completed the Spirit Rock/IMS Teacher Training, teaches retreats across the globe, and currently lives in Portland, Maine.
To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Wake Up With Perspective.”
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Natasha Rothwell (White Lotus, How To Die Alone) On: Loneliness, Envy, People Pleasing, And Finding Your “Hell Yes”
Natasha Rothwell created, executive produced, and stars in the highly anticipated series How To Die Alone.
Natasha is best known for her Emmy Nominated performance in HBO’s The White Lotus and is set to reprise her role as Belinda Lindsey in the third season of the series currently in production.
She is also known for her critically acclaimed work as a series regular, writer, director, and producer on HBO’s Insecure, for which she has won a Peabody Award and received the 2022 NAACP Image Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy.
Having previously written for Saturday Night Live, and after penning screenplays for Netflix, Paramount, and HBO Max— Natasha’s original screenplay Black Comic-Con was selected for the 2021 Sundance Screenwriters Lab.
Her genre-bending feature, along with several other projects, are in development at her production company, Big Hattie Productions—founded in 2020 to focus on creating, producing, and developing projects that champion marginalized voices in subversive ways.
In this episode we talk about:
- Being alone vs being lonely
- How she handles her own tendencies toward people-pleasing and burnout
- Working with doubt, faith and the venerable cliche of “trusting in the universe”
- Envy (and how it’s a partner to the scarcity mindset)
- Therapy
- Meditation
- Why she loves RomComs — and her issues with them
- And we go Behind the scenes in a TV writer’s room — and why it’s even tougher when the character is you
Related Episodes:
Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff
Self-Compassion Ain't Always Soft | Kristin Neff
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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/natasha-rothwell
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