EP114: The Hallway Pass
en-gb
January 27, 2025
TLDR: Discussion about a footballer and SAS, personal experiences at Elephant and Castle underground station, tarot reading, affection for Tchibo and Scream movies, two stories ('The Silence of the Fallen' by Emily and 'You've got a new match'), debate about jingle preferences (COWCOWCOW), Creep of the Week by Amy 'The Mimics', hexing Big Suze's herpes away

In this episode of the Ghost Tons podcast, hosts Hannah Bitch-Kofsky and Ceezy Priest delve into a variety of eerie and humorous topics, seamlessly blending horror with light-hearted banter. Episode 114, dubbed The Hallway Pass, explores themes of hauntings, peculiar encounters, and the fun of horror flicks, along with engaging narratives that elicit both laughter and chills.
Key Topics Covered
Hallway Passes and Celebrity Crushes
- The episode opens with a discussion about the concept of a "hallway pass," a fun way to denote a celebrity someone could cheat on their partner with. Host Hannah discusses her surprising crush on former footballer Roy Keane, while Ceezy mentions their admiration for Jason Fox from SAS: Who Dares Wins.
- The light and humorous exchange sets a playful tone for the episode, showcasing the hosts' camaraderie and distinct perspectives on celebrity culture.
Spooky Tales and Haunting Experiences
- Hannah recounts a recent spooky experience at the Elephant and Castle underground station, hinting at a haunting. She shares unsettling stories involving strange noises in her home that suggest paranormal activity, including inexplicable knocking sounds and eerie sightings in the night.
- The discussion of ghostly phenomena leads to a tarot reading segment, where the card drawn speaks to feelings of delusion and the importance of action over idle wishing. This vibrant interaction with tarot illustrates the playful yet introspective vibe of the show.
Movie References and Nostalgia
- Nostalgia plays a significant role as the hosts reminisce about their love for the Scream film franchise, noting its cultural impact on their childhood and the guilty pleasure of engaging with its campy horror tropes. The conversation leans heavily into the playfulness surrounding horror films, reinforcing their role in the podcast as a source of comfort and entertainment.
Engaging Short Stories
- The episode features two original short stories narrated by the hosts:
- Story One: "The Silence of the Fallen" - A gripping zombie tale presents protagonist Emily, who faces an onslaught of undead terror in her apartment, leading to a suspenseful and tragic conclusion. This story captures classic horror elements while exploring the theme of familial ties against a backdrop of chaos.
- Story Two: "You’ve Got a New Match" - A modern horror tale intertwines the realm of dating apps with supernatural horror. The narrator, reflecting on their Tinder experiences, encounters a disturbing figure that blurs the lines between reality and nightmare. This chilling twist engages listeners, exploring themes of identity and technology in contemporary society.
Humor and Spirit Cleansing Rituals
- As the episode approaches its conclusion, the hosts tackle the Creep of the Week, featuring a haunting tale about "The Mimics," shared by a listener named Amy. This narrative about eerie family doppelgängers enhances the spooky atmosphere of the episode.
- Finally, the session ends on a light note, with an attempted hexing ritual for Big Suze’s herpes, blending humor with the exploration of cleansing practices in folklore, showing the hosts' knack for mixing comedy with the supernatural.
Conclusion
The Ghost Tons podcast episode EP114: The Hallway Pass masterfully combines humor, horror, and heartfelt storytelling. Listeners are treated to a unique blend of ghostly tales, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions that linger long after the episode ends. With engaging narratives, a playful yet eerie ambiance, and a strong connection between the hosts, this episode serves both as entertainment and an exploration of human experiences with the supernatural.
Key Takeaways:
- Celebrity Crushes: Fun warmth and familiarity highlight the nature of hallway passes and celebrity admiration.
- Paranormal Experiences: Personal ghost stories showcase ongoing fears and the quirks of urban life.
- Nostalgia in Horror: The love for childhood films evokes fond memories and cultural critique.
- Engaging Storytelling: Original short stories reflect modern anxieties through the lens of horror.
Listeners leaving this episode will not only find themselves chuckling at the hosts' humorous exchanges but also pondering their own experiences with the unexplainable.
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It didn't look like any normal figure. Its arms were lifted up and bent at jaunty angles, almost like a puppet on a string. It was still at first, and then its arms and legs started moving like crazy. What was it?
In a quick motion, the head turned around while the shoulders remained still. It was her. Slam!
The front door burst open again, a wave of rotting flesh poured into her apartment, the stench overwhelming. Emily screamed as she raised the bat to defend herself when it was too late. The creature, her brother, lunged at her. She swung with all her might, but the force of the impact centre sprawling backwards into the corner.
Welcome to episode 1-1-4 of Ghost Tons. With me, Ceezy Priest. And me, Hannah Bitch-Kofsky, I thought you hated that. I do, but I just had to really get it out the way out the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And me, Hannah Bitch-Kofsky. We're so sorry about the number fuck-ups. What? This will happen from time to time. Oh, yeah. We'll get... Well, it's time glitch, innit?
Well, who knows where we are. You might be on one one three. We're on one one four. In my head. I'm on six, two, three. Six, two, three. Lost your gut. Yeah. Mine. Yes, I like you. I love that t-shirt. Big fan.
Big fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Scream. It is, do you know what? Scream was such a part of my childhood. It's amazing. I watch it regularly. Yeah. Regularly. The acting. Terrible. Matthew Lilly. That's what looks so good. And it was just like Courtney Cox. Courtney Cox. David Arquette. David Arquette. Neve Campbell. Yeah, where's she now? We don't know.
Well, to be honest, I hope so. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up. I don't have anything to throw it up.
What's his name? Leo Libo Dubrovnik. Oh, Libo. I remember Chibo. Do you remember that shop Chibo? No. T-C-H-I-B-O. Oh, like tech.
What? Is it techie? No, it sells one of those. It sells like a cake to a muffin tin too. No, making it sound very cakey. What's happening? No, it's sold like bits and bobs. You know, one of those shops, it's like a bit like tiger tiger. Tiger tiger. Oh, no, tiger tiger's the port. That's a club, isn't it? Oh, yeah.
I loved Tiger Tiger the other day I was like oh no I said something I was with my family and I went oh no he's really sound and Hugo was like oh god you're so you're so northern now like always sad I think I spend yeah I think I spent a lot of time in northernness yeah hang out with Londoners now what other northern friends have you got actually don't like this
Well, I was thinking of the night me, you and Rachel had a... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, oh, yeah. Whatever I'm around... I don't know who else, actually. No, thank God. Because I'd be very jealous. Yeah, actually. I think you've met all my friends now. Adam yesterday watched football and he went, oh, fuck. And I was like, oh.
And then we had the discussion about how funny it is that you think he's got, he's got me. He's got me. He's got me. He's got me. He's got me. He's got me. He's got me from the 70s, 60s film. I was listening to him last night and I was like, I'm going to really listen to this, this is right. And he was just like, that's the fucking dinner. And I was like, it's not me at all. No, he's like, all right, big shoes. No, it's not. All right, big shoes. Do you know what? He's got a hop in the car. Don't go without a dick, but I actually mentioned Dick Van Dyke, who had him last night.
For some reason. Anyway, that story. Well, how are you? I'm good. I actually went to see... I went to this like Mars exhibition. Oh, yeah. And it was really lovely. It was this massive...
It's a bit like massive hanging planet of Mars. And it's got it. Real life. Yeah, it's real life. Mars in a fucking hole. Take it over an entire country. Oh, my God. It was so good. Yeah. So basically it was like, I proper nerd it out. There was like three, like lectures about Mars, but that sounds like school. I did worry that I'd turn up and I was like, I was going to be like,
But it was good. But it's good. And yeah, they were talking about like what they found on Mars and then this artist who'd done this big Mars that's like hanging in the painted hall in the old world. This artist, they're the big Mars. He did the big Mars and he also did a big moon and that went everywhere. Do you remember seeing it? It was like hanging above a public pool, Lido and he's taken the moon all over the world. And he's quite fit actually. Yeah. Both me and they all were like, it's quite good looking guy. It's kind of attractive. Yeah.
I said to Adam last night that my hallway pass would be Roy Keane. Oh. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Do you know why? Would you call it a hallway pass? Yeah. Oh, no, a hallway pass, a hall pass. I don't understand. I was like, I know what you mean. It's a hall pass is if you, if there's one person that you can cheat on your partner, whether they agree to. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Roy Keane records in this studio. And I do fancy rocking. It's not beyond the pale.
I won't tell you who Adam said I'm doing a dab. It used to be I think didn't he always is so fair. It's about a hundred and five. Do you know what though? I find you know what foxy though. It's changed you there if you are can you confirm that Roy King's coming? Roy King comes here. Does Roy King come in this studio? Oh fuck. I think he has been in here though. Okay, thank you.
James has confirmed that Roy King is not embedded in the studio. I think he's really hot. Really? I'm really fancy. It's because he's just like Luke's a bit mean and a bit like miserable and I just find a bit rough around the edges. I like a miserable man.
Well, not to hang out with but to sleep with yeah to sleep that's why I fancied I didn't want to first saw him because I thought he was like proper like rough Yeah, and then and then he opened his mouth and then he was like yeah, and then he's like yeah, I mean flat and I was like
I want a man that sleeps at a bench. I've got no interest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My one's foxy. Do you remember from my SAS, who dares wins? I don't know. And he recorded in this exact studio. I think he was sat there. Really? Yeah. And I'm like, well, that's my fucking hallway pass.
Well, I won't tell you who Adam says. No, I can't. Is it me? And that isn't beyond the place. Adam, she's just confirmed. Foxy Bingo. No, Jason Fox. No. Oh, right. Jason Fox. Yeah, I was so obsessed with him, especially about two years ago when I got into the SS. I mean, I can see that. Yeah. I can see why he's attractive.
He looks a bit mean. Yeah. But he's also, you know, he's a bit of a teddy bear and he's obviously really lovely. I don't like him there at all. Any picture I'm in? Jason Mumford. Adam said a ****. Can you give me an initial, I guess? Neil was ****. Yeah. No. Yeah, but only because he was trying to annoy me.
I think. But then he went, but then he went, she was quite fit there. And I was like, I'm going to batter you in the face. I'm going to batter you in the face, mate. Oh, they really wiped me up. I've always been so fit. Have you seen? Have you just seen the photos? I mean, they were just like a bit old, but like when he was younger, no, but like there.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Roy Keane. OK, well, there you go. OK, let's move on. Would you like to pick a tarot? Do you have anything else to tell me or what? Oh! Go on. Oh. I knew there was something. I'm constantly being haunted. It's getting bad. Why? Now? Because the other night, I didn't wake up. I mean, listen, I know, I've always said that when a haunting happens when someone's asleep or going to bed, I don't believe it because I think you're probably dreaming or you're having a little, you know, moment.
But I was in bed and I was really struggling to go to sleep. And I was like, I just feel like there's somebody in the room. I keep hearing these knocking and it only happens at night and there's no rhythm to it. It's just like...
could be anything could be pipes could be mice could be rats in this in the attic who knows could be a pigeon I don't know but it only ever happens at night time and it happens for a bit and then it'll stop and it won't happen again and it's like it's around the same time every night so I won't so I can't I was constantly put around and I could have sworn to God that
that I saw a, so like my wardrobes come out a little bit and there's a little gap by the side of the wardrobes where the wall and the window is. So while I'm lying in bed, I can see the wall, but I can't see what's behind the wall. I could have sworn I saw like a head poking over the wall like an eight foot person was just behind my wardrobe.
peeking. Do you remember that story about that policeman who was looking over the house? The policeman? The policeman went in somewhere. Oh, yeah. And then you'd be on the bench. Yes. Yeah. It was a bit like that. Then I go to sleep, right? And while I turn around, I'm like, no, I'm just seeing things. Someone goes like that, as if to wake me up. And I was like, what the fuck is that? What? That's what I felt. That's what I felt. Yeah. Like, it's getting worse. Like a jab. I mean, I was so...
I wasn't bad and maybe I'd dreamt to put, I'd definitely do. Or you had like a next spasm and you were a knackers. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. I know, but things are getting weird. Things are getting really, really bad. That's really weird. Well, maybe we should get like... What would you say to getting a medium in? Oh, my dad will not allow it. I've already asked him. What do you mean? He won't allow it. Why? He's scared. Does he believe?
Well, this is the fucking thing that annoys me about some people. Is it like, it's definitely not real, you're an idiot, but now I won't have a medium, just in case. Yeah, I was like me as soon as you'll do a fucking cleanse, won't we? We'll do a what's it, we'll get a sage out. Could you go wave a sage around? You know, do a sneaky sneaking. Maybe I should. I think sneaker meat in there. Mum, if you're listening, don't. Don't cast this on. Don't cast this on. But, you know, get a local, a local spoken trench watch. Do you know what?
If this commune happens where me and all my family move into, the day we leave, I'm going to do a beauty pose. Oh no, because then they might come with me. Well, they're attached to you no matter what. I just think they maybe should tell you what it is or who it is. This morning, really weirdly, I was getting the tube. There's loads of people around. And the one at Elephant and Castle, it caught the Bakerloo line. The train comes from one platform, and then the other one just came the same way they're just different platforms.
Well, I was coming down there, and as I was coming down, I was just like, I can't hear anything. It was packed of people, and I couldn't hear them. And then the train came down, and I was like, why can't I hear the train? It was like this. Have you got hearing deficiency? Well... No! Although, yeah, maybe I'm just deaf, but I just thought that was fair. And then as soon as I realised it, I heard it again. But it was just silent. Well, Elephant Castle's supposed to be haunted.
Well, there you go. I'm known to just fuck. Yeah, I do think something's attached. Something's happening, right? And now, well, what you don't know, uh, listeners is that, um, I spread my taro. Oh! All over the table. It's disgusting. And then Hannah went into a bag and found the really sad one. Yeah, what is that? Posing out.
But anyway, that's not the one we've picked. So what is it? No, I don't think... No, we have had this one before. It's all of those little things. Oh, the Mary cups is it in the sky. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Yes, seven of cups, please. Okay. Seven of cups, please. There's some delusional thinking going on in this card. The client's fully deluded and has lost their mind. Yeah, fair enough.
A person stands before a plethora of cups. Some contain wonderful things that represent home work, love, life, fulfilment, while others hold snakes, dragons, and a mystery under a shiny blanket. Yeah. Oh, I'd love a mystery under a shiny blanket. Thank you, yeah.
There are dark clouds swirling above the floating cups, representing some uncertainty. So, the person is also cast into shadows to reflect and decision. This is not a labor day, but just because you want something to happen, it does not mean it necessarily will. Oh, no. Especially if it's working against you.
It's a delicate card to navigate, because although you know there is some deluded thinking going on, it's never a good idea to accuse someone. It appears with cards strengthening its meaning of delusions, addictive tendencies, lying to oneself, and it's important to address this carefully. You've got to deliver readings clearly and honestly, but always with kindness. So, it's moving out of the thinking and wishing phase and moving into action mode.
right this is because last night was on right move and I saw a house for 1.6 million and it was basically a castle estate yeah and I had an indoor swimming pool and spa and then I got a mortgage in principle wow Adam was like we do know about just getting a mortgage yeah but for the pod what does it mean oh yeah
No, it doesn't matter. It's going to keep thriving. Anyway, would you like a story? Yes. I've got this one specifically for you because I know how much. You like a zombie. Oh, thank you. Exciting, isn't it? Exciting. OK. Would you like the title? Yes. The Silence of the Fallen. Oh, my God, stunning. It was the night the world stopped breathing.
The dead walked and the living had to run. At first, the news had seemed exaggerated, nothing more than another viral panic. People laughed, claiming it was just another conspiracy theory, but then the reports came in and the bodies began to pile up.
is Emily hoddled in her small apartment. I hate the name Emily. Like no shade if you called Emily. But anytime anybody seems to write a story, it's like Emily. Emily. It's so annoying. It does my fucking head in. A divider. Is it because of the divider? Emily. Maybe. I mean, I don't mind if someone's called Emily. I'm like, oh, yeah, fine. I don't think I hate that name. I just hate that everyone seems to gravitate towards it when writing a story. Yeah, I know what you mean.
Is Emily huddled in a small apartment in the heart of the city, her fingers trembled as she clutched her phone. It had been three days since she'd heard from anyone. The messages from her family were no longer coming through. Her last text from her brother was nothing but a cryptic, they're here, Lone Ranger. Is that sexy? Lone... Why are you wearing Lone Ranger? Don't tell me I'm your fucking brother! Take your panties off, Lone Ranger!
Oh my god. Joan Ranger had become his nickname for her after he'd found a wear in his cowboy boots and Sheriff's hat when she was younger. Cute. No, that's a child. This is like disgusting. No, she's a child. If you just text me saying gross. No. What? I've just had a text if you say gross. Oh, that was amazing. That was really, that was really weird timing because I was like, that's disgusting. And then you, it came up on my computer going gross. Yeah, no. Okay.
Er, ha! She laughed bitterly. She used to think the nickname was funny, but it felt all too real now. It felt all too real. Because she's on her own, aren't she? They're in danger. Outside a window, the streets were eerily still. Not a car in sight. The silence was overwhelming, suffocating. She hadn't heard any screams or gunshots, just the occasional groan from somewhere in the darkness. The radio was static. The news had stopped, and the TV only played endless loops of black and white emergency broadcasts.
Suddenly, aloud, does echoed from behind the door. Emily froze her breath-catching in a throat with somebody knocking. No, that wasn't the sound of a knock. It sounded like someone or something trying to get in. Howdy partner, Emily says.
Emily said it was what she used to say to her brother when he'd greeted her with the lone ranger gag just saying it made her feel better. But no one answered. Her heart raced as she slowly crawled towards the peephole in the door. She peered through expecting to see a neighbour or a stray survivor. What she saw made her stomach drop. The hallway was empty except... what was that?
At the far end of the fish eye, it looked like a figure, but it didn't look like any knotless, it makes me go funny. It didn't look like any normal figure. Its arms were lifted up and bent at jaunty angles, almost like a puppet on a string. It was still at first, and then its arms and legs started moving like crazy. What was it?
Fucking hell. It was running. Oh, I hate not knowing that something's running out yet, that you found out something's running out yet. But how? It's outside her door. She's looking through the peephole so she can see it through the fish eye at one end. And she's like, what's it doing? Oh.
Emily Gaston pulled away from the door, her mind spinning, a zombie. She half expected to hear someone come battering down the door, but all was quiet. Her eyes started towards the window, the street below was completely dark now. The world outside had shifted. She could hear soft distant moans in the air, the unmistakable sounds of the undead closing it. I think, if there was going to be a zombie apocalypse, I'd just let myself return into a zombie and then I'd have a nice time.
Yeah, but your survival would kick in. Have you got a bit of dribble running, don't you? I saw something like catch the light. I was like, gosh, she's turned into a zombie. I've gone now. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I believe so. I just let it happen, I think, going to have a nice time.
Yeah, but imagine the run-up to that. Well, that's why I'd just, I'd run at them. I'd be like, come on then! Yeah, because it's too scary. It's so scary. It's the before bit that's the scary bit. I think you'd try and survive. No, I don't have a heart attack before that, I think. Yeah, yeah. And because I can't cope with that, I can't deal with you for scaring me. Yeah, but I think your survival instinct would kick in. Because you never know what you're going to do when you're faced with something like that, you'd probably be like, I need to live.
Well, I've heard there's a new lockdown, maybe that says on Google. Really? Yeah, which I wouldn't mind, actually. I'm quite tired. Um, I don't know. Why? Sorry. It's the question. I can't give you a day. Because there's a new strain of something come from China. What? Yeah, apparently there's already five cases in the UK. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yep. Haven't we learned already? I wouldn't mind a couple of weeks. It was novel, wasn't it?
Yeah, but like... Listen, the pod would thrive. Yeah, what we're going to do is ghost tons. Do you remember how many pod cache you listened to in lockdown? No, but what do I go traffling? Oh, do you? Well, no, I don't know. I like the idea that I could. There's no plans. Yeah, you want to be able to get up and go whenever you want. Anyway, okay. Chihiro! Where am I? Can you believe that Trump's in?
Let's get a place to come out. No, it's crazy isn't it? He's gonna be batshit. TikTok's back. TikTok's back for it. Everyone's like we're being gaslit. And yeah, we are. We're all being gaslit. Trump was like fucking hell. Yeah, he's absolutely smashed that. Yeah, TikTok only lasted a band about nine hours. Yeah, it wasn't very long. And these people on TikTok being like, we'll miss you. Oh, we're back. Yeah, like they're gonna die. Yeah.
I don't like it as a zombie apocalypse. Say goodbye now. Anyway, so blah blah blah the unmistakable sounds of the undead closing in. Suddenly, the door creaked open. It was a slow... I know, yeah. What the fuck? It was a slow creak.
That was more like a cat. It's that cat. Like the house itself was protesting. Emily's breath caught and she pressed her back against the wall hoping that she hadn't made a sound. God, God, God! The figure at the door had started banking relentlessly like an animal desperate to be let in. It was only a matter of time before the door gave way. So the door didn't open? The door creaked open and then there was a thud like the door might give way.
Let's say, let's say that the door did creak, but it was on a latch. Oh nice, yeah, I had a latch in. It had a chain latch. Yeah. I don't know who wrote this.
And you're like, it was not me. It was not me. I need to confirm it was not me. The figure at the door is trying, bang it, yeah, blah, blah, blah. Emily's mind raced and she scrambled towards the closet looking for something, anything that could protect her. A lampshade in the shape of a catty, a single pie. No! Oh! There! She saw a baseball bat in the corner of the room. She'd kept it there in case intruders showed up and she needed to defend herself. She'd forgotten all about it due to the panic she'd felt from intruders showing up. Stupid bit.
Her hands sweaty, her vision blurry. She turned back to the door, she heard it. A whisper so faint that she wasn't sure if it was real or in her head.
Her heart stopped. She spun towards the voice nearly losing her balance as her eyes widened and terror. Standing in the doorway to her bedroom was another figure, another one of them. Although, its eyes weren't vacant. They were filled with the hollow emptiness of something familiar. Its lips moved again. Low, Ranger. Oh, it's the brother. She backed away slowly, her heart pounded in a chest. Rokey! Rokey! I'm back! Sorry, carry on.
This wasn't real, this couldn't be real. Her brother had been dead for two days, she saw him be turned to her- Well, she's mingled him because that means she's been living with his corpse for two days. I took it out the window and gave it to the zombies. What, she's living with her brother? Yeah, I think so. And he's died. She saw him be turned, heard him scream as the infection spread through his body. But there he was.
or something was wearing his face. The thing shuffled closer, dragging its foot behind it. Lone Ranger. It whispered again. Slam! The front door burst open again, a wave of rotting flesh poured into her apartment. The stench overwhelmed me. Emily screamed as she raised the bat to defend herself, but it was too late. The creature, her brother, lunged at her. She swung with all her might, but the force of the impact center sprawling backwards into the corner. Her hands shook as she gripped the bat, but her brother's corpse had already pinned it down.
I wonder if the brother was actually the figure in the hallway. Oh, the one running? Yeah. And he's got through the door in the latch. Yeah, he'd come on the tube on public transport. Yeah, because it doesn't make any sense because he's texted her being like, watch out. Oh, of course. Yeah. I don't think they're flatmates. This is very weird. Anyway. Then another scream rang out, a noise so horrifying it made a blood front cold. She turned her head and saw a woman, her neighbour, Bambi.
I take back my earlier comment. But Emily. And then Bambi enters the fucking scene. Standing in the doorway, eyes wide covered in blood. The creature that was once Bambi's daughter. She held the creature that was once Bambi's daughter in her arms, pulling her away from the doorway. Bambi tried to fight, but her screams became muffled as the child's jaws tore into her. Silly Mummy! It shrinks. Ticked all lots of Bambi's stringy turkey neck.
But what struck Emily the most was the sound, the echoing unnatural. So everything is just kicking off. There's Bambi the next door neighbouring there with a daughter who's grabbing her wrinkly neck and brothers there being like, oh, Ranger! She's got back.
She's got the bat yet, she doesn't know what to do, it's all going on. Her vision blurred, and all she could hear was the rhythm of her pulse hammering in her ears. Suddenly, allowed God echoed again from behind her, but this time, it wasn't just one zombie, there were dustins. The walls trembled as they pressed against the apartments, scratching and clawing their growls grown louder by the second. Emily!
A voice whispered. Again, this time was directly behind her. She spun around and there, just inches from her face with the hollow eyes of a man she'd never seen before. It's cold, rotting hand wrapping around her wrist. She screamed, but it was already too late.
Emily's dead. Emily gone get infected. She gone dead. She gone be dead. Yeah, there's something about a zombie film that really creeps me out. I don't find them creepy at all. Have you got a story? Yes, yes. Please. Please. Please. We're going to Norwich today to meet some witches. Yeah, Norwich Ghost Hub, baby. OK. This is cool. Yes.
You've got a new match. Oh, nice. My hormonal self couldn't have been more excited. I quickly lost interest in the homework I've been working on that night and opened my phone almost as fast as it could light up with a notification. I clicked on the icon staring intently until Tinder opened. Of course, I was excited. Around all the possibilities in my head, all the things that could happen. This could be the girl of my dreams. Oh, right.
No, it didn't appear as though I matched with a girl on my dreams. This looked more like the girl from a nightmare. All right, rude. Smiling from here to here literally was my match in the first picture of her profile, no name, no age, only a picture. The photo itself seemed to be professionally taken. It was a full body picture. She was dressed in some sort of very formal black dress and there was nothing about her body that seemed out of the ordinary.
Oh, like Momo.
I don't know what that is. It's that child thing that everyone kept. It was like that app that parents when we were like warned about because Momo kind of like gave children like it was telling it weird stuff. Look at that.
Oh, yeah! What the fuck is that? Oh, that's gross! I imagine that's what this bird looks like. Yeah, it's exactly like Momo. They had no whites. The irises were everything. They were a dark purple, almost black. The eyes had no details and they were just blank and empty. Her teeth were normal human teeth and there would have been nothing wrong with them if she didn't have many, many more than any person should have. Her jaw opened wide, very wide. Like Jack Skellington.
They've always got loads of teeth. Open from the bottom of one ear to the other, teeth showing in their entirety as she gave a nice big smile at the camera. I was disgusted by whatever Photoshop this must have been, but I was also intrigued. It was a good edit, after all. I thought it must have been some artists who wanted to show off their skills or something.
But before I engaged any chats with this match, I noticed that they had more photos. Five more. I swiped at the second one. The same girl and the same dress, and all the same grotesque facial features, was front and center in this photo once again, but both the quality and setting of this one were much different. It looked like it was taken with the cell phone. The picture wasn't even level, but that's not the detail I recognized. She was levitating off the ground.
The ground as well as the walls and the ceiling was seemingly made of corpses. All that provided light in the photo.
All the provided lights in the photo were half melted candles on the ground and the flash from the camera. This one looked too real. The bodies had pretty distinct features and it almost made me sick. Some looked like there were skeletons. Others looked fresh. One thing that many seemed to have in common was a missing lower jaw. Not detail. I scrolled past this one quicker than last because it upset me. But the third was confusing. It was her once again in the black dress but in an empty field.
The quality of the picture was like the first. It seems as if it was professionally taken and edited. The sky was an impossible shade of red. As a consequence, the entire image had a sort of red tint to it other than that. It simply looks as if it was some sort of farmland. It had an eerie feel to it like it was taken in the apocalypse. Once again, I thought this must be some sort of artist trying to compel these sorts of feelings with the pictures in the way they took and edited them. I was impressed as I was disturbed.
Fourth photo made my heart sink a little. This picture of the girl was taken in front of a building on my university campus. A building not even a five minute walk away. It was night time and she was alone. She was floating yet again above the stairs in front of the columns of the building. She didn't look any less real in this photo.
I scroll back through the first view and noticed how surprisingly alike she looked in all the pictures despite their different angles. The art was too good. The fifth picture. It must be impossible. I don't think any art's too good. Now AI is meant. I know. It's even they're getting the hands right now. Yeah, but I feel like I can recognise someone AI. I think I can, but it's really scary. It is. I saw someone the other day do you like a fake video of Prince Charles saying they'd bang them?
Oh, really? And it was so weirdly real. So it was like... Yeah. I mean, well, that's... I don't like it. The fear of someone AI-ing you. Yeah, it's right. I don't like it. The fifth picture I thought must be impossible.
It was of her inside another building, but I knew what building it was. I knew it from the colours on the wall. I knew it from the lights above her floating body. Most of all, I knew where she was because of the numbers on the door behind her. Oh, no, it was his house. It was only a few doors down from my apartment. This is the problem with Tinder because it shows you everyone that's close by. Yeah. Have you ever been in a bar and matched with someone who's in the same bar? No. I've done it alone. Really? Yeah, you like.
Oh, I thought that was that one that's the one where you walk past someone. Oh, Thursday. What happened? Oh, happened. I never did that one. I never did a close by thing. It just happened when you were looking at close proximity. Because in London, I'd put it to four miles, so I wouldn't really go any further than that, because there's so many people in central London. So it would always show you people who were really close by. Oh, weird.
I knew where she was because of the numbers on the door behind her. It was only a few doors down from my apartment. The apartment I was in right now. I quickly scrolled to the last photo. It was a close-up of her right in front of my door. I dropped my phone. I ran to my door to make sure it was locked. Luckily it was. I'm always good about that, but out of curiosity.
I thought I'd peek through the peephole to see if someone did happen to be there. Smell it to yours. That's weird, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't that weird? I know. After seeing someone running down the hallway, I'm gonna ship up my tears. I know. I placed my eye upon the hole where I got a glimpse of shoulders.
And the back of her head was in black hair. In a quick motion, the head turned around while the shoulders remained still. It was her. She widened her smile ear to ear once again. I jumped back from the door. I ran to the desk and picked up my phone. Of course, the disgusting picture of her in front of my door was the first thing to pop up as I opened my phone. I exited Tinder and I dared 911. An operator picked up. 911, what's your emergency?
I gave the operator my location, which I'm leaving out of this story to not expose myself and then had a brief, detailed, scarce summary of the past few minutes. I left out some of the more extreme details because I wanted to be taken seriously. There's someone outside my apartment door. I got this match on Tinder when I clicked in to see the photo. She had a bunch of weird ones. It doesn't matter, but she's messed up, very messed up. The last two photos were of her outside my apartment door. And when I went to look at the peephole, she was still there. I don't know how, just help. All right, sir. Has she threatened you in any way?
She tried to break into your apartment. We can't just send an officer because you feel scared of some girl You met on tindo happened to live in the same apartment building this year Are you calling because she looks different? Oh Yes, probably actually this guy to be like Are you just a scumbag? Yeah, you just find a bit of timber over Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah wearing a lot of what was it a hula? Yeah
Paris filters. Yeah, yeah. I was speechless. I was infuriated. How could they do this? Did they think it was ridiculous? I was calling him because of a girl. I went into a rant. So what if she hasn't done anything yet? What the hell's wrong with you? She found my apartment, my exact apartment, and is standing outside of it. And we only matched a minute ago. This isn't right. I mean, why did he match with her? Because if she clicked on him, then he obviously, I don't know. Maybe it came up with some notification for me.
This isn't right, I need- I was suddenly silence on the other end. I felt like I was about to scream. No one one hung up on me. I was eyeing up my door for a second when I heard someone on the phone again. It was someone different. He talked again, this time my phone was up to my ear. Can you hear me? Hello?
Yeah, I'm here!" I replied desperately. Right, who you were just talking to was not 911 dispatch and easy to listen very, very carefully. If you hear another voice other than mine on this call, you need to hang up immediately and wait for me to call back. If the entity you've encountered intends to communicate with you in any way for the time being, you need to ignore it. Do not leave your apartment.
unless I instruct you to. Now, I need your precise location. We caught this one early, so we should be able to contain it. I was hesitant to even talk. Are you the police? No, I work for an agency. Our purpose is to locate and eliminate entities like the one you've encountered tonight. I need your location now. Maybe I was stupid for giving this man on the phone my location, but with everything that had just hit me, I didn't hesitate. I gave him my address, apartment number, and he was silent for about 15 seconds.
A team is en route to your apartment, sit tight. Now we need to lay out a few more rules. I have the floor plans to your apartment. It looks like you've got a studio with one closet and one bathroom. Can you fit inside the closet? Yeah, but why would I need? If the lock on your apartment door unlocks, I need you to quickly shut off the lights and climb into your closet. Be silent until you hear the door shut once again.
If any sinks or your shower turns on, shut them off as quickly as possible. If you hear splashing coming from your toilet, I need you to flush it immediately. Why? Like a bog monster. Yeah. Close the lid. I don't understand how these things... Why would I do any of this? You said you matched with her on Tinder? Does she have a name?
Yeah, I matched with her on Tinder, but her profile didn't have a name or age or just, it was just pictures once again I was interrupted. I needed to screenshot those pictures. Is it still possible for you to access them? I opened up Tinder, I screenshotted each picture. Now what would you want me to do? Text them to 911, trust me it'll work. I sent each picture as fast as I could.
All right, we looks like we've got seven. Give me a moment while I send these over to our team. We might be able to find out enough about this thing to get rid of it right away. There will be... Wait, did you say seven?
I sent six. Her profile had six pitches. How did you get seven? I opened up my texts. I did send seven. The first six were of her profile, but the seventh was of me. It was taken from outside my window, right outside, and it was recent. I recognized the clothes I was wearing today.
On the upper left-hand side of the picture was a hand pressed against my window. I quickly turned towards the window to see no one there. There couldn't have been. It was on the third floor and there was nothing on that side of the building that would allow someone to climb that high. No one could have been up there to take a picture.
I didn't send the last one. It's sent by itself through the window somehow. It's of me just a minute ago while we were talking. All right, it's trying to scare you. It wants to get in your head. It wants you worked up so that you'll do something rash, but you're not going to do that, are you? No, sir. Good. Now, as I was saying, there'll be one man and one woman in black suits holding briefcases that get out a large SUV. The driver's been instructed to drop them off on the side of your apartment. He knows where it is. It's getting over his sci-fi, isn't it?
It's all a bit very men and black. Yeah, yeah, I know. I want the pug. They should be arriving right about now. Go check your window. I looked outside. I didn't see an SUV or two people in suits. Just saw pedestrians in a university bus. I don't see anyone down there. You sure they're on that side? Yeah, I'm sure. You sure you don't see anything? No SUV? No, I don't.
Okay, they've been swindled by the entity. We're figuring that out now. Look, once they're there, we'll start the process. Right then, I heard a firm knock at the door. I walked over, peeped through the hole again. One man and one woman, both in very nice black suits.
I think our agents are here. They just knocked on the door and I saw them through the peephole. Shall I let them in? The operator practically screamed. No. Do not let them in. Those are not our agents. This is the entity trying to get you to open the door and don't do it. The agents- What? How do they know?
What? Because I thought I was supposed to let the people with the suitcase in. Well, they haven't got there that quickly. So it's the ghost trying to, yeah. Our agents won't knock. They won't try and get into your door. They'll get back to your window and watch for them to arrive. Tell me when they do.
a few more minutes of waiting and then I saw them and then the SUV dropped and then the SUV drove off. They're here. Good. They're going to scout out the building. I'll let you know anything you need to do when I find out to stay on the line. I started to feel relieved or be more confused. I did believe these people were here to help but I didn't know what they could do to help me. How could two people from whatever this organization was possibly deal with this? I heard an electronic click from my door as I jumped from my seat.
I remember the operator's instructions. I hit the light switch off, picked up my kitchen knife before hopping into my closet. The door just unlocked. I'm hiding with the lights off like you told me. He responded quietly. Just be quiet. Don't move. She can't open your closet door and she has no interest in taking your things. No matter what she says, do not respond and do not react. Don't leave the closet until you hear the door close again and don't hang out this call.
As soon as he finished speaking, the door opened. I didn't hear footsteps, but I knew she was inside. I focused on controlling my breathing. I must have been in there for five minutes before I heard any noise. Nothing, not a door opening, not a single thing moved around. I couldn't even hear breathing. I stayed still. And then I heard, in a sweet, dossip voice, what's wrong? Don't want to hang out tonight.
No. No. You mad entity bitch. Then I heard in a sweet, dorset tones. Give me a fingering wheel, you're off. Yeah, yeah, get in me. I'm on it. After she got no response, she would wait about 10 seconds to say something new. Come on, we matched, and you know it. You know you want me, and I want you.
Well, if you're not ready yet, that's all right. I can wait. I can wait a long time. I'll wait for however long I need for you to come out. You know, I don't bite. I'm just a very, very good kisser. You can ask the others. You can meet them too, but why don't you try it yourself? I bet she's very slobbery. Lots of spittle. That's disgusting. I remember snogging someone with lots of spittles. Oh, of course. I can't deal with spit.
Yeah. Like an excess, Freddy the other day, like, and it's disgusting as children are. Freddy the other day was like drinking milk, spitting out, drinking it again. And I was like, I'm going to get out. I'm going to fall with gags. And I just can't handle it. And like, you're actually kissing someone. And they've got... No, God, that's made me feel like I'm going to... Yeah, yeah. That's rotting. That's rotting. I think I'd rather someone shit on my face. Well, you heard it here first.
It's a slippery slope. That's what I'm after.
She was getting more assertive. I could hear her voice getting closer each time she spoke. Eventually she was so close to the closet door she was practically touching it. It was obvious she knew I was in there. You know you're worthless. You're not even good enough for the maggots. You've done nothing with your meaningless short life and you never will. Even if I let you live past tonight, you can come with me or you can burn. No one's coming to save you. No one can... Why am I on her side?
Swiping right on these crazy bitches This is the thing I don't care what you say. He's fucking much with her knowing that she's a mad one. Yeah
And he's like, yeah, go on, we'll see. Bit of excitement, bit of fun. Yeah, fun. I'll go with no one to ghost her. Yeah, yeah, this is a match. You're a retail. About terrible mental apps. She stopped for a moment. I think she heard what I heard. Someone was walking around on my floor.
Oh, you talked to them. She let out a giggle. One that would have seemed innocent and cute of it were given any other context with a normal girl, but I found it to be far from that. You'll pay for that. You won't even get what I gave the others. I'll rip your guts out right before your eyes and make you watch all of it. You'll wish you were dead, but I won't kill you, not until... Approaching Entity Manifestation! No! Stand by!
I heard a man's voice say from just outside my apartment. She screamed in fury before I heard my apartment door slammed shut a split second later. I exited my closet and turned my light back on as I ran to the door to look in the peephole. What just happened? I think I heard one of your people outside my door before she charged out. She's really angry. It's like Kim Possible. What was Kim Possible?
No. It was a cartoon on Nickelodeon or does his channel look like that? It's getting impossible for that. Yeah. Well, it was for like the Under-12s. Yeah, both these stories are just like some of these and monsters. Yeah, it doesn't work any better, am I afraid?
One of them tried to catch her right there, but it didn't work. It wasn't fully manifested. He, as well as his partner, are trying to locate the entity now, but we're having no success. This is much more dangerous than we could have predicted. What am I supposed to do now? The voice on the line immediately changed from the man's voice to the girls. You should open the fucking door and let me in. I hung up.
Well, she sounds like, um, what's her name from Harry Potter? Moaning. Moaning Mertly. Moaning Mertly. It's always the voice I go to when I'm doing creepy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the gal. Um, I got a call back from 911. I promptly answered. Are you still there? Did it try? Did it? Mm. Are you still there? Did it try and use someone else's voice? It used its own voice to tell me to open the door. I heard shuffling from outside my room. I thought she was back, but it was a lot of people this time.
Our second team have arrived a few minutes ago. Some of them are downstairs setting up a base for this operation. Now it's ET. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've gone mad with these. Oh, my God, have I seen Mars attacks? That was my favorite film. Yeah, that was a crazy tale of Mars attacks. I'd like to watch that. We should watch that with wine. Yeah, we should. Yeah. We should end some hard drugs.
Just crack. I've been getting very into the aliens recently and I thought, I wonder what would happen. I imagine the aliens come down to earth and they find out about the cheeky girls.
Well, what if the cheeky girls are the aliens? I would not that really make you think better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What we surprised that they're. Super natural. I've written a joke about it. So we'll see how well it goes. But what's the joke? It's not. It's not really a joke. I've keep having to write all these existential questions as part of the.
show. So I've just written that down. So I'm going to add it in with some other... What would aliens think of the cheeky girls? Are there every other questions written in relation to blow jobs? Yeah, roughly. Because I'm retired. You're retired from... I'm retired from blowys. Oh, nice. There's no way. I think they're only for the tweens. They're only meant to be done in a field when you're 40.
I am with other 14-year-olds to be really clear to be very clear. Anyway back to the men in black. Our second team have arrived. What about my neighbors? Are they in danger? I've got to tell you they're just listen I don't know how to explain it to you in a way you'd understand your neighbors won't be seeing our team they aren't in any danger
They're not in any danger if that brings any comfort, but I'm afraid you still are. I was confused, but I didn't have the energy to question it. It's here. I heard a woman assert from right outside my door. Seconds later, I heard light bulbs explode before gunfire erupted in the hallway. I sprawled out on the floor and got as flat as possible, though no gunfire ever made its way into my room. These gunshots were quickly followed by and even allowed a scream from what assumed to be the girl.
Did they get it? No, it got away somewhere in the stairwell. She's killed a couple of them and injured a couple more as well. We underestimated her again, but now we know what we have to do. We're almost through with this. Just keep a level head and you'll be alright. What is happening? Have you ever seen the Santa Claus?
No. Oh, the creepy one. No, no, no, with Tim Allen, where he turns into Santa Claus. Oh, no. Because there's a team of owls at the end to, like, come in and save the day. And this is given. This is given. Yeah, this is. It's like a cartoon, isn't it? Yeah.
Okay, so two people have died because I had to be on Tinder messing around. Yeah. I heard something coming from my bathroom. I picked up my phone, unplugged it, walked over, pushing the door open to get a peek. Hands were coming out of the toilet bowl and gripping the seat. She pushed down against the seat of the toilet that you've got to have good strength for that. Smack her on the fucking... That's like a pulp seat. Honestly.
She pushed down against the seat of the toilet. She attempted to force herself up out of my toilet. I screamed and fell back against the wall. Her head made it out. She was wounded, blood covering her face and arms. I could see that one of her eyes had been shot out and blood still ran from the socket. She turned towards me as she attempted to pull the rest of herself up. She clenched her jaw but revealed all of her teeth to me, also covered in blood. Oh my God, she's climbing out of my toilet.
Thank you, Captain, obvious! It's too late. Run. Do you understand? Get out of your apartment and lock my door as I charged out. All the lights are out. They've been shattered. Just put the seat down! Yeah, you were... Clashing man. Well, no, of course. That wasn't his first fucking thought, was it? Yeah. Well, put the fucking seat down. Yeah, because they fucking don't. Because they don't.
That's another lesson in this story. The hallway looked like a trench from a ward, blood lined the floor and was splatted across the ceilings, the worst sight was the bodies.
Why do I go? What do I do? Go to the stairwell, go down. I know you're used to there only being a few flights of stairs, but you'll notice they go down further this time. That's where our operations are. I ran down the stairs faster than I think I'd ever run a flight of stairs before. I felt as though my legs were outpacing me. At the bottom of the stairs, there were tons of boxes. Between a couple of rows of these boxes, I found another corpse. It was one of the two suits who had come in earlier. It was the woman. She, like the one man and I, I assume, had a gnat.
She had her jaw ripped out as well and her hand was a revolver. I set my phone on a box for a moment as I checked it out. I opened the cylinder and found that none of the six primers had been struck. What was happening? The poor woman couldn't even get a shot off before being ripped apart. Preach.
found another one. Is that like a phrase for a one? No, I'm going to shoot myself off. Yeah. My primer is being stuck. I found another one of your team members dead. It's the woman who came in first for the man earlier. What? That's not possible. We just had communication with her. She was supposed to stay there. Oh, no. What?
Oh no, the team had another engagement with the entity on the higher floor. Our lost communication with the agent your next to was less than a minute ago. Do you know what maybe if a shut the fuck up got on with it instead of shining about it? The thing is in there with you. Just then the lights and the stairwell from the top to bottom exploded a rapid succession.
I jumped into a corner and aimed a revolver at the stairs. A moment passed before I began to see a red light illuminate the stairs above me. Despite being shattered, the lights began working once again. They turned on. I heard humming from many floors above, but I can hear it getting closer. She's coming. What the hell do I do now? Get one of the computers. We've cracked its code. I'm sending you a fucking god. I'm sending you a sound file.
Turn up the volume on the laptop when it gets close, play the audio file. My phone died. I kept a level head. Thank God. I put the revolver deck next to the laptop. It was in some sort of weird operating system and I had no idea how it worked. I found the system like an email, though I don't think it was quite that, and I found a recent message. This had to be it.
I opened the contents, turned the volume up loud. The humming stopped as I heard a giggle from right behind me and a boy saying, what do you think you're doing? I already told you what was going to happen to you. Are you ready for a kiss now? I stood up taking a kiss. Yeah, love my women in the toilet.
She took a deep breath. I took a deep breath and slowly turned around with one hand still on the box in front of me. Will you better come give it to me? Somehow I was able to deliver that with a straight face. This flirting was amazing. I'm turned on. She approached slowly, opening up her smile from her ear once again.
saliva gushed out her mouth. I hit the space bar on the laptop before throwing myself to the ground. Why is this fucking... Yes, we Steve Jobs, do you understand this story? What? The space bar. An annoying, constant, high-frequency noise filled the stairwell and hurt my ears, but it did worse for her. Her feet touched the ground, no longer levitating. She covered her ears tightly in her massive jaw, practically unhinged from her head. She screamed in agony. I pulled it in close before cocking it.
I reached up for the revolver next to the laptop. I pulled it in close before cocking it. Then I got two hands on it and pointed it forward. I was shaking from the adrenaline, but I managed to get my breathing under control for long enough to level the rear sights at the front. I squeezed. Yeah, you heard. That sounded sexy. I'll get you fucking care. I'm going to fucking level your front out with your rear sights. Yeah, let's get your rear sights with the front.
Ooh, I squeezed. Blood spattered on the stairs behind her as a part of her head was blown clean off. Oh, god. Anomalous presence no longer detected. Oh, fuck off. You did it, kid. I have no idea how, but you did it. I hate every one of these people. It's over. I want them dead. I stood for a moment amongst the carnage.
Easy now, son. It's all over. You can relax. Took a deep breath, handed over the empty revolver. I walked back to my room, plugged my phone in. I just sat with my head, resting on my desk, for another call from 911. You did it. We've been hunting this one a while now. It's gotten more victims than almost all of the others combined, but it's gone. Thanks to you.
Oh, my God. It's heavy, it's just fucking like just sat back down. Clean up your fucking flat. Yeah. I would get a brush to that toilet. It probably looks like an aperture at this point. Yeah. You injured? I can get the paramedics to you. I sat in silence. Listen, you need to decompress. Catch your breath. Our team and all of the equipment and the chaos will be out of sight and out of mind.
I just want you to know that if you call the emergency line again, we'll be listening and we're here to help. One more thing, but the whole world and yourself do them a favour, and don't speak about this, are a non-animity. A non-animity and secrecy. Let us help everyone out. Farky. Is that the end? No, it's nearly good. I hope you understand. Goodbye and I'll stay safe. Stay safe.
If you've read this file, you know, I've ignored the last thing the operator said to me. I want everyone out there to know. I want everyone to know that you could become the victim of one of these things in the blink of an eye. I want you to know that there are people out there hunting them down. And they seem not to exist by any publicly displayed government information. I want people to know what to do when they call 911.
I have no proof my apartment building did return to normal. I'm suddenly missing the text history I have been on one. I am not matched with that profile on Tinder. I have nothing. I also want to know more. Have any of you fallen victim to one of these things? Have you heard of them? What are they? Do you know more about the organization? How was my apartment building changed that night? How was reality bent and shake back to normal? Reach out, I want to know more.
I was just about to hit the post button. My phone suddenly blew up. You've got a new match. You've got a new match. You've got a new match. You've got a new match. You've got a new match. My phone displayed it a hundred times. They're coming for me. I need to make a call. Jesus Christ. Yeah, a bit of a man in there. That was quite an entity saga, wasn't it? Oh my God. It's all the, it's the, it's the, it's the Saviour element. Have I got a cold store?
You've got something weeping. Yeah. Maybe you'll turn into that woman with saliva gushing out. That's gross. So do what it looks weeping from here. No, when it was when the slobber was getting down your chin. I wasn't slobber because I could put lip balm on it, you dick-ass.
I'm ready for a creeper the week. Yes! Cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow. No, do you move? Cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow
I don't know if I can say, but I'm just going to read it anyway. Hi guys, just want to start by saying I love the podcast, not only the creepy stories, but your guys dynamic is so comforting to listen. How do we just do? Yeah, you filthy side. Cow, cow, cow, cow, cow. I love it. Anyway, onto the creepy stuff. My parents' house has always had weird things happening throughout my teenage years. It was widely accepted that the house was haunted.
Loud bangs in the night. No one flinched. It was expected except for me who was truly terrified of that house. I have so so many stories of this house, but I want to focus on one specific aspect which ultimately scared us out of the house, the mimics. Oh, that's scary. I was at home one day. I don't know why I said that's so weird. I was at home one day. I was a teen and it was a weekday. It was a sunny afternoon. Oh, she's bonked off maybe. I'll lose to love a bonk.
Yeah. I was way too good at it. Really? Oh, and I loved it. Went round to our mates who lived around the corner from the school and we just sat there. I mean, we were just panics the whole time, so we sort of just gone to school. Okay. I was home alone and got in the shower. I got out and was drying myself when I heard the front door open. The key turned into the inner front door. Door open and footsteps. Familiar footsteps. This has happened to me.
That was me, sorry. Uh, familiar footsteps of my dad's in his work shoes. I shouted out, Dad? Hiya! Why are you back from work? You're not golfing this afternoon. This wouldn't be, they wouldn't be uncommon. No response. Dad? Thinking he just hadn't heard me. No response. I wandered down into my dressing gown to chat to him.
But he was nowhere to be found. I suddenly felt a paralyzing fear come over me. I stood there in the hallway frozen. I remember my dad was working away this week. He was in Germany. I ran upstairs to my mobile and called my mum. I must be wrong. It was his voice. Exactly how he says, hello, we're walking to the door. Aya! It was him, unmistakable. I rang my mum. She confirmed he was in Germany.
Noticing the panic in my voice, she asked what had happened. Once I explained, my mum was... Noticing the panic in my voice, she asked what had happened. Once I explained, my mum was silent. After a long pause, she told me that the night before, she woke to the sound of the front door opening. It was around 3am, so she jumped up. She shouted out, thinking it was me, but my brother responded,
She said she went sheet white. It was Sam's voice, exactly how he sounds when he comes home. The exact words he usually says, only he wouldn't be coming home because he lives in Australia. And he had done for five months at that point. She had his voice and footsteps, then nothing. Nothing except pure stone cold fear, paralyzing. It seemed whatever was in that house was learning from us, mimicking. We moved shortly after. I have so many more, this was just the final straw.
Oh, my God. Tetra-saying. That was from Amy. Amy, if you have any more, please do send them in. I thoroughly enjoyed that.
Yeah, tell us more about your creepy house. That's like when I saw my dad in my house, but he wasn't home. Mimics. It's mimics. Mimics. They can like, they just shift into whatever. They turn into things. They turn into people that you love and love. Scary. And the voice as well, being like, yeah. Yeah, that is fucking rank. Well, that was stunning. Shall we do wig out haunted so you don't have to? Well, I thought we'd cleanse my necklace.
Oh, good idea. Because, look, I'm in real trouble now. This is the new one. No, this is the old one. Oh. This is the one that actually has time glitched. But you need to hold it, please, because I need to do the incantation. Careful, because I've got herpes. Oh, God. Well, I'd rather have a ghost than fucking the clap-off seat off big zoos. I'm gonna, I can't take it off. How do I get rid of it? Can we, like, can we, like, like, hex it away? Yes, we do that.
Well, you hold it and I'll cleanse you on the necklace. Yeah, okay, great. How about that? Right, here we go. Could you please hold that like you would a pendulum and then hopefully if the good spirits start coming in, it will sway and move.
It's very interesting because we did that pendulum over my sister's stomach to see if she was going to have a boy or a girl. Freddie always says it's going to be a girl. The pendulum said it was going to be a girl. It's very interesting. It's one or the other isn't it, it's 50-50. Okay, we're going to do the incantation now, right? Can you hold it very still, please? This is to cleanse my dirty
dirty necklace because it's time-glitched. Start doing that on its own, that's definitely you. Okay hold it still. Tell me whenever you're ready when you feel comfy. Ready? Okay yeah.
by the power of the moon and the earth's embrace. I cleanse this piece of its lingering shadows, releasing all spirits that dwell within. May its new path be clear in its energy pure. So may it be. Oh, it's moving a little. Look at those two on the other side. That they are moving really bad. Watch bits. On the other side of your hand.
Oh, yeah. Well, it is now because you just moved your hand. Oh. And also, um, wait, can we text my face? Oh, yeah. So this is Susie's herpes by the power of the moon and the earth's embrace. I cleanse Susie's face of the dirty herb.
releasing all the dirty spirits and bacteria that dwell within, because she's a dirty girl. May it's new path. May it's new path, i.e. Susie's face be clear and it's energy pure. So, no herpes and stop being a cunt. I'm not.
There we go. Well, we will see. Hopefully, by this afternoon, when we go travelling to do our Patreon ghost hunt, it'll be gone. Because it's got... I'm going to go super dry. Do you know what? You should, because it's gotten worse as we've done this episode. No, it hasn't. I swear to you, I couldn't see it before. I'm telling you now. Over an hour. I'm telling you. Can you see it here? Yeah, I can now.
That's why I think it was weeping. It's not weeping. Well, I'm telling you, go to a super job because it looks rank. Right, see you next week. Bye!
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