EP104: Mangle Mondays

But then I heard Spock whining. He then ran in between me and the garage door. He started barking at the door, then he did something really strange. He turned around and started barking at me. Cora opened her eyes. She stopped massaging as she noticed something. It made her heart recall.

She watched the steam cloud the door of the shower, but she also saw something start to appear as though someone was placing their hand on the glass. We all clancy each other and slowly turn our heads back to the TV. And just as her mom is about to resume the film, we have allowed his footsteps charging down the old wooden staircase.

Welcome to episode 104 of Ghost Times. Very nice that we both said 104 and 104. With me, Bucky, Susie Priest and me. Hannah Bitch Copsky. Oh, that was weird, wasn't it? I love it. Yeah, gorgeous. Welcome Hannah to my podcast. How are you doing? I'm just going to turn you down a bit. I've muted me. It's been

age. It's been so long. I've been on holes. I've been to parliament. You've got, yeah. So why are you getting political on us? I've got very political. Happy, what are your views on the current government and Trump? I'm just not a very nice guy.

Not for a nice guy car. I'll listen, right? One holiday, had really loved the time. All I did was sit on the beach, read, sit by a pool, read over four books while I was away. I had to come back early to go and shoot an ad for him. Oh yeah, she's that bad. That was nice, an ad for her. But listen, let me tell you, I had a near-death experience on Holes. What happened? Right, Adam is a big theme park guy.

Oh, no. So, and I'm a big water gal. Yeah, no, no, no. And I'm a big water gal. So, we went, big water gal. It's a big water gal. That makes me sound like a fat mermaid. My favorite mermaid. Ariel, move aside. She's a big water gal. I'm a big water gal. It's the tone I think I want this. So,

water park. That's where we went. Went one day with Matt and Stephen. Lovely time. It was very quiet as well. So it was a very nice place to relax. So one day I said to Adam, shall we go back on our own? We can chill. You can go on the rides, blah, blah, blah. He was like, yeah, let's do that. So we get that on the second day. And rubber rings on a slide. I don't trust it entirely, but I'm like, what can go wrong? Yeah. Right. Anyway, we go on this one slide.

that's got like, you go down the slide as normal and then it's like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, like a little snappy. It's not steep. One of them was steep and that was fine, but this one was more like turny. Yeah, nice. They're really fun. Well, I thought that. And then what this other one was, it was like a little turny one and then you come out into like a big bowl and it's like you've got a sinkhole in the middle. So you go round it a couple of times and then you go down the sinkhole

out into the ends, right? So I'm going through the little snakey bit and I'm on my ring and I'm like, oh, this is going a bit high. It almost feels like I could come off. So I'm holding on and then I go around the next turn. It spins me upside down. Oh my gosh. So I'm on my face. Oh my gosh. On my face is along the slides. The bottom of the slide with this rubber ring on top of me, I had to let go. I was just like, I've come up.

She's come off! I've come off! So I end up in the bowl, so I come out in the bowl, and I just stand up, and I'm like, do I live here now? Are we going to have to live? You didn't go down into the sinkhole? No, because I was just stood up, because I was stood up with this ring, like, what was that? I was so shaken up by it. You were shooketh, and had I haven't gone down the hole? Adam, it was a two separate thing, so he'd already been and done it, yeah. Oh, so you were out straight? And I was just stood there, like...

What we're going to do, like, am I going to have to live here? Yeah. And the only time I'm ever going to be able to be someone to be like someone stuck in the sinkhole again. No, no, nothing. So then I was like, well, maybe I am going to have to live here. And the only time I can relax is at nighttime when things closed, because now if someone's coming down behind me, they're going to kill me. That's your new swamp. So in the end, I just got back on my ring and went through the sinkhole on my own. And I was like, at the end, I was like, fuck off.

But I couldn't speak and I was just like, have come up. Oh my God. Yeah, it's terrifying. But then I suppose the scary thing about that for me would be someone else shooting into the... Well, I think you're just like... I think you're just like, I shouldn't be. That this is weird to me to be here without being on a rubber ring. It's terrifying. I remember going on one in Centre Parks. This was like a couple of years ago, me and X went. Which one? Which Centre Parks?

It might have been that one. Anyway, it was one of those that it was a two person rubber way. And then you shoot into that middle bit and you go flinging up the wall. And in my head, I was like, I hope that there's some science involved in this, where they're like, there's no way that people could come off because I was like, if there is, I would fly so high in the air and smack down on my head.

How did you not get a brain injury? I thought no, because my face was fully slimy. Did you go up and then smack down? I went like this, I went, it flipped me upside down. Yeah, the science shouldn't do that. No, I mean, Gran Canary Waterbox, I'm not sure how much fucking health and safety is going into it, but listen, I was no shooketh.

Well, I'm shook it from your behalf. And also, like, I love a water slide. And they are fun when the jeopardy feels high. So when you're like, I don't like to think that they could fail like that. I didn't like that at all. Have to say, shout out to the water parks and Dubai. Yeah, they go. Have you been to Dubai? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was there when I was 13.

Right, okay. We're on a family holiday and they're like top tier. Well, yeah, you think you've seen a water park. Wait till you go to Dubai. They've got like, um, they've got, um, you know, those like, uh, zip-wise, zip-wire into a pool. Yeah, yeah. Although what happens if you let go? I know, you know. Don't trust me. Don't trust me. I'll let go. Don't trust me with it. It's like if you go, it's like if you've got pregnant, you go to the doctor and they're like, well, how many weeks are you? And you're like,

Is that your fucking job? When they go, and when, when, when, when did you last period start? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I live for some strepsils, you silly cow. Yeah, I had a few bits of drops. Days ago, I don't know when it is. I don't know. Anyway, I went to Parliament the other day. I had an awful lot of worst period in my God's summer. Why were you a parliament?

Oh, BBC5 Live, do you want to come and do an interview? Like, where would they take two people? So, me and Will from the Trainers went and did it. They take two people who don't really have any interest in politics. And then, like, interview them after they've been to the PMQs. So, you went to PMQs? What did you think? What happened? Oh, do you know what? I thought it was fucking disgusting, actually. It's like a big gig pad. And they're just laughing at everything. It's like a stand-up gig. I was like, you're all fucking pieces of shit. And all I could think about was electoral rolls.

I was like, can you tell me all about your electoral rolls, please? What was the like theme of the day? Like, what are they talking about? Anything. Anything. It went from like breastfeeding to wars to the murder of a certain person. You're very political. Very political. Not your views afterwards. I just said, and maybe I could be the next Chancellor of the Exchequer. Mm hmm.

Okay, so did you learn anything? I was very angry. Well, they said to me, what would you do if you were in power, like what would you enforce? And my main one was that one day a month, women get to commit a crime when they're on the rack. Oh, fun. Yeah, thank you. I'd love that. One of the females in the galley was like,

Yeah. Do you know what? I love the PM. Yeah. I would vote for you. Thank you. I have thought about this. I would introduce something that I'm, I would call mangle Mondays. And I would herd up people who like talk to animals. Yeah. Like anyone who treats animals bad. I'd put them out in a square, like Leicester Square. Just animals, is it?

Well, for now, my policies could change, but this is my first term. Child abusers, carry on about your day. Carry on. Carry on. Don't worry about it. You go into Tesco. Go enough. Go enough your day. Yeah, maybe that's for like, I'll fuck you up Friday. But Mango Mondays are for the people who are nasty. Twatting Tuesdays. Yes. One con Wednesdays where everybody just wanks on them.

Yeah. Yeah. To the animal pieces. To grade it. And I shove them in the square and then I just slowly let them die. Yeah. And Thursday, Thursday is where we just make them all die of thirst. Yes. And whilst we're having a nice drink at that lovely family of Italian, we had a Proseccoat. Family of Italian. Do you remember we had one next to the war?

Oh, yeah, we do. Oh, you want to show them the Leicester Square and see what you mean. A public flocking. No, I'm up from Seoul for that. I'll make sure I do that. I'll be getting the TPM to you. Oh, that would be amazing.

It would be a better place. It would, but I'd had such a horrific morning on the pears that I was like, I'm just so angry. I was so angry. I shouted at about four people, but they deserved it because I was very, I was very ill. I was bleeped. You know, and you know, sorry, everyone, but I'm not that sorry. When you've just, you bleed through your tampon every 30 to 35 minutes. Yeah. So I went, forgot to bring any fucking tampons with me when I went to Parliament.

went to the toilet. Every single toilet in Parliament blocked dirty bastards. That does not surprise bastards. So I was like, well, I can't go here because I can't stick a fucking, there was no bins to put your tampons in either. None of that. Wow. So I know, disgusting Parliament. Yeah.

So I had to go to Tesco's, get some tampons, and I went to Nero and I was like, can I use a toy that she went? I was like, I showed to my tampons, I went, I am in real trouble here. I've got period running down to my socks. She was like, there's a pub there, and I was like, go fuck yourself.

So I just looked at her and I went, they had one that like staff used. But I was like, I was like, thank you for everything. So then I went to the toilet, right? In the, in the pub. This is like a Monday after the Tuesday afternoon. There is a queue going from the top of the stairs to the bottom and I was stood there and I was like, if anybody would like to let me go first, just to let you know I am on my periods and I've caught woods down my legs and they all fucking.

Oh my god! I was like, I'm not being funny, but like- Was this like a touristy pub? Yeah, well, yeah, it's like, it's literally just next to Parliament. It's called St. Steve and something, or whatever, it's awful. So, I didn't even say it in a shitty way. I was like, if anyone doesn't mind me going ahead of them, it would really help me. So no one said anything. I was like, you can look at that stuff. And this fucking white man.

came down the stairs in a suit. And he stood down and said, is this the cure for the taurilonts? I went, yeah. But this is for the women's. I imagine the men's isn't like this, is it? Because you've got loads of fucking urinals, there's probably only two cubicles in there for the women. But you'll have about 20 urinals, so it's probably different for the men than you want.

I was, I was the cutest, the men's down there. I went, yeah. And he went, oh, that doesn't seem to be a cue for that. I went, no. And he went, good. And I went, is it good? Is it really good? And he was like, what are you? And I was like, no, get the fuck out. And I looked and I just had all the tampons. I went, go on then. Go on. Right. Go and use your fucking. I was. So you kind of took out on the man who was like, excuse me. Yeah. But how did I find my? How dare he go? Good.

Oh, that's good. Good for you, is it? Yeah, that's absolutely classic, isn't it? Oh, look at my fucking Mario's arm! I'd lost my mind. Out of all the people that you had to go at, I feel like this is the most innocent guy. Innocence! Yeah, because he's just like, hello, please. I'd like to have a whittle. Where could I find my chambers? And you're like, fine, yeah, fuck I!

I'm gonna fucking go right now! You should've used the men's or a disabled or... Well, I should've done, yeah, really. I was just so... And then I was in the toilets, and there was a cleaner there, and honestly, these two women must've been in the toilet for about 10 minutes. I was still there for 10 minutes, and I was like, not being funny, but get out! Like, get the fuck out! It's a public job. And this woman came out and she was like, oh, sorry. And then looked back into the toilet, and I went, get out now! And she went,

And I was like, no, you have to get this fuck out. I was fucking covered in blood. I mean, luckily I was wearing leather trousers. So it was on your trousers? It was on my kegs, yeah. Then I said, when I went into the fucking radio station, covered in blood. Oh, no, boy. They were leather trousers. So luckily I could clean myself up to a certain degree.

Oh, Hannah, that's really, I hate that. So sad, isn't it? So sad, awful. But also the stuff we have to put up with. I remember doing a promo chart in Milton Keynes, and I turned up, and the period was like, it was so bad. And I hadn't prepared for how bad it was. And I had to get off the train, and then I was like, fuck, so I went to the station, Cafe Niro, queued up, got in, and I'm not joking. I'd made it look like Dexter in there. Spoken about us on the thing.

and then had to go to TK Max. Yeah, get some new pants. And I was like, it was so shameful. Yeah, well, I made a point of being like, I'm not shamed. Yeah, I know. This is all you're awful for not sorting it out. I know. But we're older now. Oh, if this had happened like 10 years ago, it would have been more to buy. I think it was because I was younger and I was a bit like, I don't know what to do. And I'm on a job, like I have to turn up and do it. But instead, I was like, I have to go buy pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's awful.

Absolutely horrific. Anyway, that was my day in point. How are you? What have you been up to?

Well, I'm wearing my brown t-shirt. This may be a compliment for me, brown. I do like brown. I look like I like the 70s of it all. Yeah, so it says Mamie Beach, because it's from China and they haven't spelt Miami, right? Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. It's nice, though. It is cute, isn't it? But Mamie, would you have looked at it in Sider? Sider. Would you have looked at it in Gone? Oh, that isn't Miami. Because I think from afar, people just got Miami Beach. I would have looked at it in Gone. Oh, that's a joke. I don't understand.

Oh, but you would know that the spelling's wrong. I would know that, yeah, because it doesn't look anything like my army. Oh. Maybe it is a joke, and I don't know it. Yeah, that's what I thought. I would have thought that's a joke I don't get. Oh, I think it's a spelling. So I felt inferior, so that t-shirt is perfect. OK.

I love that. I haven't really, honestly, I haven't been doing anything because you've been away. I didn't, no, I'm not picking that up actually, Katie. I love you from Katie. Anyway, I, yeah, I've just been hibernating. I haven't even been kicking really.

I've just sort of been in the house because my parents are aware in London Roddy. So I've had the house to myself. I've just been like just molding, just watching RuPaul's Drag Race, which is so good. Yeah, I've just really been enjoying actually reading and watching TV because it's been such a mental couple of months. Have you ever seen the bird cage? No.

Oh, my fuck. Adam made me watch it last night. It's Robin Williams. It's Nathan Lane. They own a drug bar. It is the best film. Oh, I really feel like I've seen that age. It's so funny. Oh, yeah, that's right. And Hank Azaria is like the gay mate. Oh, it was it's fabulous. Yes, I have seen that film, but I saw it ages ago and it's set in LA. Like Palm Beach or something, Miami Beach, Miami Beach.

Maybe. You really watched it while you're packed. It's so good. Yeah, that's a glass of wine and a seg. Yeah, no. Anyway, shall we? Yeah, we've had a mad couple of months. We should cracky on it. We should crack on either, shouldn't we? Shall I pick a cloud odd? Yes, please. Oh, because I'm a red witch now.

Oh yeah. Yeah, we had a lovely chat with the lady called Clarissa and she asked Hannah if Hannah was a red witch. And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah just went... And Hannah

Of course it's the fucking empress. That's about time really isn't it to have the empress. I'm really pleased you got the empress. Me too. Me too. Because it advises you to trust in the good sense you have shown up to this point. I recognise your good intentions and carrying out your responsibilities as a compassionate human. You are capable of demonstrating the finest

aspects of your personality. Thank you. Don't mention this through caring actions, forgiving and generous attitude, wide understanding of others' needs and struggles. Bring a healing influence over the current situation and take full credit for the supportive part you play. Oh, lovely, lovely. Love that. So exciting. Yes. OK, have you got a story for me, please? Yes, please. OK. I bloody would.

Have you ever taken your dog for a pee out in the back garden and heard something strange? Yeah.

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago and I still don't have an explanation for it. So, I'm 33 female and I live in East Sussex with my boyfriend. He works night shifts and I'm ashamed to say, I'm still scared of the dark. But it's not so bad because we have a super cute boxer called Spark and he's the love of our lives. He isn't afraid of anything or anyone. The dopey bastard would literally square up to a dinosaur if he had the chance. Anyway, this is all to say when my boyfriend's working and it's just me and Spark in the cottage, I feel safe.

Spark's bark would make any prospective burglar poop their pants into a runner, even though he's mostly capable of at most licking them to death. So it's a regular Tuesday night, my boyfriend has just set off on his shift, I've settled in to watch some trash TV and Spark is curled up on the sofa snoozing. I'm pretty knackered and I decide I'll take Spark out the back garden for a wee and then start getting ready for bed.

He yawns and gives me a look like he can't be bothered to go outside but I coax him out and I wait patiently shivering in my gym jams. We've got a really long narrow garden with an old shed at the very end. Spark likes to sniff his way away from the house to do his thing right down the end and then eventually he trots back. Can I just say that gym jams makes me feel like I want to bit my own face off?

Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jim Jams. Can I get a bobs? Gonna put my Jim Jams on and then shall we have sex? Jimmy Jams, yes. Imagine that. What? I'm gonna put my Jim Jams on. And there's a crumpet. Oh, a bit of crumpet. Is that crumpet? Oh, that is rank! Oh, come on. As if you had another bit of crumpet.

Okay. Only tonight was different. I heard sparks, nothing about on the grass, getting further away, and then it went quiet. I have a special whistle I do. I whistle three times in succession, and generally, spark nose to come back. I did my whistle. Then I did it again.

I cannot tell you how shivers immediately ran out my spine then I heard the whistle

Like it was echo back at me. I don't know why I didn't run back into the house. Instead, I legged it to the dark far end of the garden. I don't know why I stumbled on that. The garden! The dark far end of the garden. Garden. As my eyes adjusted, I saw Spock standing still. His whole body was tense and he was staring at the garage door. And knocking from inside the garage.

Craig, is that you? I shouted. I was suddenly really fucking angry. If this was my boyfriend playing a prank on me, I literally would kill him. My heart honestly was pounding so hard I thought I might think. Craig? Walk towards the garage. Fuck this, I thought. I was about to wrench the rusty door handle open. But then I heard spark. Why name?

He then ran in between me and the garage door. He started barking at the door, then he did something really strange. He turned round and started barking at me. Like, really aggressively. I can't lie, I was scared he would attack. I've never thought that before or since, but in that moment it was like the whole world had turned upside down. My spark, he was barking, his teeth bared, his heckles were up. I fled back into the house and slammed the patio door shut.

I shut my poor baby out on the cold, but I needed a second to think. I grabbed my phone, I called my boyfriend, and he picked up. I could hear General Road noise in the background, and I knew there and then that he was not in our back garden. I stammered out what had happened. At this point, Spock was whining and pouring at the patio door. He looked really scared. I was crying and still on my phone. I let Spock in, and he immediately ran under the dining table like he used to do when he was a pup after he knew he was in trouble.

I must have been hysterical because my boyfriend drove all the way back home to make sure I was alright, which I know he wouldn't do unless he thought it was serious. I also called the police and between them and my boyfriend they found nothing and no one in the garage. No sign of the padlock door being forced open, no footprints, no broken window, nothing.

I still feel mortified, and one of the police officers was looking at the half-trunk bottle of Sophie B on the kitchen counter. FYI, I'd used it mostly for cooking. And I'm pretty sure they thought I was pissed or mad or both.

Every Sunday, when I'd make a Sunday roast, I'd start off with, like, I'll just open a book. Because it's not even nicer on a crisp, sunny, wintery afternoon, Sundays, to be like, let's get a nice glass of wine. Oh, my God. Like a really good chilled, bummer wine. Really gorgeous. Oh, my God. Crisp. And also, it's so easy to get quite pissed when you're cooking. Healing the potatoes. I'd be absolutely fucked by the time I was taking the chicken out of the oven.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they thought I was pissed or bad or both.

Honestly, to this day, I think maybe I was mad. Spark has been nothing but the sweetest, kindest doggo since, and he refuses to go back in the garden at night. He digs his paws into our slippery kitchen tiles, and he prefers to slip and slide as I try and pull him out to do his nighttime wee. We now have to go out the front, which, if I'm being honest, I prefer. So, what did I hear? Who said that? Who whistled?

Was it a weird neighbour trying to freak me out? Something worse, like a mimic. I don't believe in stuff like that, but I'm really scared. She's also posted an update.

And this is what the update says. Last Sunday, it was really sunny and we were weeding the garden. Admittedly, I was mostly directing my boyfriend where to do it and being lazy. And I went to get a rake out the shed. My rusty bike literally haven't used it since lockdown was in the way. So I wheeled it out so I could grab the rake from the back. I saw, scratched into the wall in large jagged letters the words, good boy. Where are the pictures?

What the fuck was this? I've never seen that in my life and now I'm wondering if this isn't some massive prank. Will someone fucking with me? I'll update you if anything else happens. Safe to say, I'm terrified. My boyfriend says it's weird but it said he'll sand it down. I can't explain any of this and maybe I don't want to. I hope you enjoyed the spooky tale and I hope this is where it all ends.

So to send it down, I want the photos. Where's the photos? Where are the receipts, bitch? I'm gonna guess it's the boyfriend because if you're sending it down, ain't no fucking evidence. Yeah, why would you send it down? That's weird, isn't it?

Never trust the man. No, I like that, they're very sweet, isn't it? Imagine. Imagine who your boyfriend is. It's always a boyfriend. Do you think? Yeah, it's most likely to be the boyfriend. It's always the man. It's always the man. I'm just like, I am. So I wonder we've got any men listening to this podcast at all. Hashtag not all men. And I'm fine. No, I'm joking. I'm not a fan of that. If you're a straight white man, we love you.

Yeah. Not all of you, but some of you are crying. Some of them are great. Some of you are really... We've got some lovely boyfriends, actually. I went on a 24-hour date the other day. Oh, yeah. Well, where did you go? 24 hours. What did you do? Can you believe? Well, I've been on a three... I've been on a... You've been on a holiday... I've been on a 215-hour date. Yeah. I didn't know I put it in the 24-hour clock, but... Well, because that's quite new, isn't it? Because you know, I stay without them all the time.

I think it's because we met at like nine, so we could go to the, um, a.m. A.M. Yeah, we met outside, um, South Kent to go to the wildlife exhibition. It was really nice. And then I had the full day and then love that you both found that the wildlife thing is something that you're going to be like, this is our thing now. This is what we're going to do. Anything to do with wildlife. Yeah. I can't imagine all the like collections of little animal ornaments going to have in your house. Oh, it's already started. Okay. Great.

And when they see through cabinets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this once you get like this little like a golden goose, we're trying to shop. This is where all the old people start. They've tried to find a common mutual interest.

Oh, that's nice. Did you go for dinner? I made dinner. It's really good. It's like Gotcha, like rice bowls. Actually, you just made some banana bread that was absolutely stunning. How wholesome am I? You're so wholesome. You're going to be pregnant any day. I'm going to lose you to pregnancy. I can't believe it. We're going to have to... I'll adopt a beaver before I have a fucking child. This is to everybody listen to the podcast of Susie. It gets pregnant. We're going to have to find a new co-host. Sorry.

No, no, it's me or the baby bitch Okay, I think I've just left so I think it's just come out and have a giant. Have you got a story for me? I have yes, please It didn't make any sense

Cora twisted the knob in her hand and water immediately began to pour down from her wobbly head. Poor was a bit of a stretch. The shower, quite frankly, was dog shit. Dripping was more of an accurate adjective. The knob was stuck and wouldn't turn the whole way. Cora sighed. It was Sharon's job to speak to the landlord and get him to fix it. But obviously, Sharon was too busy with her new bit of rough to even be asked. Cora Sharon flatmates. Cora's Sharon flatmates, yeah. Cora undressed and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good on her aching body, but after a 12-hour grooming shift in the morgue,

Are you literally written horror erotica? I can body stepped into the tricking head. When I wrote that, I was like, it does feel sexy. But you know what it's, you know that feeling that I'm trying to... No, I do. You know what I'm trying to emulate. It's just sexy. It's just sexy. Welcome to the podcast, Mom. This is my new career choice. Sexy porn. Sexy porn, no, horror porn, no.

Okay, Cora undress and sept into the shower, and the hot water felt good on her aching body. On her aching labia. Sexy. Everybody. She's soaked her hairy nipples. But after a grueling 12-hour shift in the morgue, she needed something more powerful. God, what a day it had been. A cleaning up after all those old tops, it was absolutely exhausting. They'd had a busload of OAPs come in this morning after a day trip to Blackpool had gone out of hand. Hang on, I can't speak.

They'd had a busload of OAPs come in this morning after a day trip to Blackpool had gotten out of hand. The driver had some lunchtime cherries and drove them head first into the tower. God, she hated drunk drivers. Who didn't? They had the W.I. coming in tomorrow. They were mown down in front of Madam II sword sadly, and Gora was in front of the long one. God, you've killed off so many OAPs. It felt nicer than children.

Well, as long as it's not animals, I'm fine. Oh, yeah! Gosh, I'm going to be out in that square. And go Mondays! Oh, anyway.

Okay, so you know where we are, right? She had the W.I. in coming tomorrow. She had the W.I. coming in tomorrow. They were mown down in front of the Madam II sword, sadly, and Cora was in for another long day. All she wanted to do was finish her shower and crawl into bed with a rustless burger with a mini bottle of shabblie and forced straight to sleep. Oh, love a mini bottle. Me too. It feels so dainty. Wait, does it demure? Ah. Demure.

Actually, sometimes it really hits the spot. You just want a large glass of wine. Yeah. And I don't actually want the rest of the bucket. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I hate leaving the bottle open. Yeah. And I did that the other day with her mouth back. I haven't been agree. Yeah. I tried to have a glass last night and I... Sad, you can't. Can't do it. Yeah. Cora started to shampoo her hair and all of a sudden, she felt the water pressure increase. Oh, that's more like it. She thought, Cora started... She managed to do a big thatch.

Cora started championing her hair and closed her eyes and bliss. She hummed along to herself as she imagined being in one of those L'Oreal adverts. That would beat scraping bits of brain tissue off a metal gurney, she thought. Then all of a sudden, she heard something. It was very faint, but it was there. It was like breathing like someone was stood right behind her. She shook her head, she was just sick, thank you.

She shook her head, she was sure she was just hearing things. Cora opened her eyes, she stopped massaging as she noticed something. It made her heart go cold. She watched the steam cloud the door of the shower, but she also saw something start to appear as though someone was placing their hand on the glass. But it was only her there, of course it was. And there she is.

sexy spin-off film. It's actually, yeah, it is. That was the sexiest of sexy. I never understood, because I watched that film when I was 11. Yeah, me too. And I was like, what's happened? I didn't know, but I also knew. You know, and you're like, that's racy, but I don't understand. I was just like, we've done some rowing. She's a good rower. Also, I didn't, you know, we ended on physics, so I didn't understand condensation.

Going on. Are they under the sea? Why is the car very hot? Is this Ariel? It's that big water bitch. It's a big water bitch. The big water girl. Big water girl. The overweight mermaid.

Anyway, she's in the shower on her own horse. She can see it. I can't wait for the comments. Can we just get through a story, please? Without talking about overweight mermaids. Shut up, please. Stop shaming that mermaids. But you are welcome here, of course. Everyone's well. Anyway, she's in the shower on her own. She sees a hand print, right? But then she heard, was that giggling from outside? BANG! Fucking hell.

The door to the bathroom swung open. Sharon! Sharon was stood in the doorway blinking eyes wide open with a stupid, no-bad boyfriend stew. I mean, what kind of man was named after a fix? Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Sharon shouted and she quickly backed out as the room and slammed the door. Cora heard her and stew giggling. They'd just seen a naked for fuck's sake.

She wouldn't normally mind all that much, but she'd noticed a labial lips were getting a bit long, so she was a bit more soft. They were getting it like a fucking need of a haircut. Well, do you know where this had come from? Yeah, you know where this has come from, because my labial lips, like no. I'd watched... Are they growing? Well, I think it happens to women when they have children, actually, more often than anything. But I'd watched someone have a vagina of plastic on, um, secret lives of more than ones.

Oh, yes, that's a new show I need to get. Yes, it's very good, I've thoroughly enjoyed it, but there is only, like, eight episodes. What happens to the vagina plastic? Well, she goes and has, like, an operation, so they cut off the bits of a lip and sew it all back inside her, so she's got, like, a neat tiny vagina rigor. Oh, God. And it's like a messy ham sandwich, actually, a given birth, isn't it? Like a punch lasagna.

Well, I don't know because I'm not giving birth and I've not. Another of our months, perfect. Anyway... Sorry if I need to point mine back up from my knees. Packing my meat. I actually need to change my tampon, right?

Okay, well fucking hell, we all say this has gotten so out of hand. Yeah, so she was a labial lips have gotten a bit long, so she's a bit self-conscious, right? Cora finished washing herself and wrapped herself in a towel before leaving the bathroom. She saw Sharon and Stu, that's very hard to say, Sharon and Stu struggling to keep her face, a straight face in the kitchen. She rolled her eyes, will you two grow up, Cora sighed. I'm sorry mate, Sharon said while still giggling, I was desperate for a wee and I didn't know you were in there.

Well, it's all yours now. Cora said, Paul Link pouring herself a large wine. Stu snorted. She can't go in yet. Why's that? Cora sighed. Well, your friend's still in there, isn't he? What? Cora's heart slammed in the chest. What? Slapped? Do fun!

Cora's heart slammed in a chest. What? She's stammered. Sharon was struggling to contain a laughter. Cora's once said, you're a dark horse. I can't believe you. There's me thinking you haven't got laden ages and we come in to find you being soaked down in the shower like a voxel coarser in a car wash.

Excuse me? What? He was a bit older than I'd imagine being your type though, Cor. Stu laughed. The handprint. The breathing. Cora pushed past Sharon and Stu and raced into the bathroom. The steam was swirling around the shower and she could still see the handprint on the shower door. Where did he go? Sharon said from behind her. I was in there alone, Sharon. There was no one there. Sharon screwed up her face in confusion and Stu did the same thing, although he looked like he was trying to hold in a fart.

Cora, we saw him, don't be daft, you can't pull the wall over our eyes. We saw him with our very own eyes. There had been no convincing she wouldn't shut her shoe. They'd been no convincing shoe and Sharon. They thought this man, she'd been railed by in the bathroom and snuck out the flat door while they were in the kitchen. And now Cora was in bed, her mind reeling. She'd seen that hand print herself. She wanted to put shoe and Sharon's hallucinations down to just that.

They'd had a few two peronies with the dinner and they'd been seeing things. But how? Was it possible they'd both hallucinate the same thing? She tried to palm it off as one of those things, just a check of the light. She needed to use the toilet, but she was trying to hold off going for as long as possible. She didn't want to be there on her own. But a few minutes later, her teeth were floating. Sorry. Well then she needs a piss.

The teeth were floating. Yeah, it's a phrase. It's a phrase. It's a phrase. Can people please back me up? It's a phrase. Oh, I think that's the sound of no one backing you up. Please don't make me like my tampon. Is that a phrase? You heard it. Oh, he's not heard it. Can you Google it, please, Tim? There you go. Google it, please. What's it? Her teeth were floating. Floating, yeah, because she's full of a piss.

Come on Cora, there's nothing in there, there's a simple explanation to all of this. Cora made her way out of the bedroom and into the bathroom again. How was there still steam in here? It was hours ago she'd had a shower. Maybe Sharon and Stu had taken inspiration and had their own shower together before bed. Then she hid it again. Breathing. Like someone was just stood right behind her.

She shook her head and made for the toilet. She relieved herself as quickly as possible. She glanced up and saw that the handprint remained on the shower door. Before she could take her eyes away she saw something else. Next to the handprint another shape was taking place. What the Cora said, it was lips and then came a nose as if someone was pressing their face from inside the shower to stay.

She knew who it was. She'd known this afternoon when Sharon and Stewartzina in the bathroom was someone she'd known that what she'd done would bring dire consequences. She'd felt that it would. When they'd bought that bus driver in today, she'd thought he deserves it and glad he's dead. He got pissed on the job and now loads of people were dead. But when the pathologies had left the room, she'd heard it. He's breathing. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes people were brought in while they were still alive.

Cora had wandered over to the body and listened to his shallow breath. Her heart had pounded as she placed her hand over his mouth and nostrils, softly at first, and then she pressed hard as she pressed until she could no longer feel his breathing, and then she'd clocked off shift. Cora didn't feel guilty about it, although she knew that she would forever hear his breathing every night for as long as she left.

Thank you. That's great. Thank you. Mergering. Mergering Randy. Mergering. Mergering Randy little fucker, yeah. Yeah, because he's off for a bit. Yeah, he's off for a bit. He's a bad bastard. That's what he is. He's a bad bastard. Oh, God, but she's a bit of a bad bitch because she has a murder. Yeah, she's killed him. But as we say, hang on Mondays.

Fine. And Murdery Mondays every other month. So good for her. In my love land. She gets away with land. My land. I enjoyed that a lot. I really enjoyed that, Hannah. Thank you. Well done, you. Enjoy flipping that for TikTok.

By the way, I'm going to check on this. I've said this before, I'm sure, but because I'm looking after the dog this week, I have a little camera. He's with Turkey. What's that? That was Turkey. He's sleeping on the floor.

But I do worry every time I look at this, so we went to go and see a movie on the 24-hour date. And after the movie, I immediately went on to my security camp to see if Rocco was alive and safe and, well, I was just staring at it all lovingly. And I thought, what if I saw someone? What if I saw someone just sit and stroke his little head? Do you know what I mean? You'd have to just call the police.

I would be so scared or I felt like someone just waved at the camera. And I just, I mean, he's fine. But by the way, I saw a Nora and it's, I didn't. Oh, I'm not heard of this. What is it? It's a film about like an erotic dancer and it's like a Cinderella story, but with a twist. And I just thought it was so good. Is it a thriller or something?

It's like a modern love story, but not. It's kind of like a gritty. Done by this guy who did The Florida Project in Tangerine and generally he's really well respected. It's kind of an indie film. No, it's not for you. I just didn't enjoy it. I just thought it was a bit gratuitous and there were some bits in it and I was like,

Oh, feminist, this film actually is. I mean, I don't want to give it away for anyone, but it was a bit of shit. And all the reviews are like, five stars, they're gushing about it. And I'm like, do we watch a different film? And the ending is so disappointing. I won't say, like, I won't say because... And these things usually are.

Just, I don't like it when, try, should I go spoiler and then tell you. Yeah, go on, I'm not gonna watch it. Okay, spoiler is coming now. Yeah, go on, I'm not gonna watch it. So at the end, she's all this like, she's all like, oh yeah, you know, like I'm this like troubled, but ultimately empowered independent erotic dancer. And in the end, she like collapses in the arms of this like mafia guy and is like, he wants to kiss her as she's like fucking him in a car. And then she like, as he tries to kiss her, she's like,

And then starts like weeping in his arms. And I'm like, what kind of ending is that? That's the end. That's the end as if like, and I was like, why, why is she being held by a man? First of all, what are you trying to say? Like, I'm not a probably articulating myself very well, but I just thought the whole thing was really disappointing. And she was like, um, she was like, I think you have the eyes of a rapist. Why didn't you rape me? And he's like, cause I'm not a rapist. She was like, yeah, you fucking. I'm surprised you didn't rape me. The reason you didn't rape me is because you're a pussy ass bitch.

And I was like, what? Who wrote that? Oh, a man wrote that. Cool. Oh, well, he's jacking off from the back. Yeah. She's just got a tick sound. She's shacking everyone in the foot. And I was like, I don't know. I found her eye roll. Probably people come for me and I haven't taken it in the right way. I will not watch tonight some shit. Yeah. OK, spoiler down. I'm interested to, I am going to watch a substance because I've heard very different things.

friend of the podcast, Rachel Fairburn hated it. My brother said he loved it. I've heard other people. I've heard very well. Yeah. Well, someone on the comments and on one of the episodes said the substance is shit. Oh, yeah. But then I've also seen someone on the comments go, it's great. I love it. What can you do? Have you watched? Have you watched? Well, no evil. Yes.

Have I watched the dream work, please? Yes, I have. Please don't know if I'm going to gosh. It was great. It was a bad one. It was a bad one. It was a bad one. It was a bad one. It was a bad one. It was a bad one. It was a bad one. It was a bad one.

Look at my animals. It was so good. And like, I wept five times and I went by my, do you know what? Let me tell you this. I went by myself to the cinema in the day and I had a stunning time. I was like, this is doing this for me. I'm going to pick a film that's like, it was actually on the day that Trump got elected. So I was like, you know, it's all a bit much, isn't it? I need some complete like escapism. Yeah. Went to go and see that cinema to myself, then a couple walking. Where did they sit? One seat away from me. No.

What is that? That's disgusting. Isn't it? Well, on the same row. A huge cinema. They were mental. Mental. They were insane. One seat away and I gave them such. What? I would have moved. I would have moved. I was like, I know but I was penned in by them and I didn't want to have to like fucking, they upended their popcorn here in a coat. Oh my gosh.

Hey, you could go anywhere. Oh my god, these two are psychopaths. Aren't they? I agree. They're dangerous. What day of the week should I kill them? You should have killed, like, ah, fucking Sunday. Sunday, yeah, that's something religious. Isn't that a crime? Yeah. It's culting. Yeah. So what do you want with me? Yeah. I want to cry to this lovely DreamWorks film. Why are you fucking that? That's weird. I would have run the police. I know.

Hang on, listen, a crime may not have been committed yet, but it is gonna... It's gonna... Because who does that? Who goes... Shall we go and sit next to that one woman? Fucked up. No, they wanted a threesome. Yeah, they did. They wanted a non-consensual threesome. Yeah, I know. I actually should check myself. Did something happen? You might have been dates... Fiddled with... Fiddled? More less dead. Fiddled with and more robot. Show me on this doll. Why are you a fiddle?

Anyway, it was a very charming film, and Matt Berry plays the beaver in it. Oh, yeah, that sounds nice. It was really good. Have you seen Speak No Evil yet? No. Fuck me. Right, let's move on. Have you got a... I've got a little story, actually. Go ahead.

Thank you. Thank you. My teeth are floating. It's weird. Okay. This is a little thing.

My mum had hit an age where everything she did was quirky. It started innocently enough. She'd bought some incense at a bath bomb from the new age shop in the village and felt cleansed by the heady scents. She went through her gnomes face, where we had jolly brightly colored porcelain faces peeking out every nook in the garden. They're spending... Oh, gnomes. I thought you meant they're gnomes, like they're the candle brand. Oh, no. That is expensive. No actual gnomes. Gnomes.

That really is hit a memory of.

It was an episode where it was like, she's Rod. The gnomes Rod, I can't remember. It was a really old episode. It really made me piss myself laughing. Anyway, don't maybe do that because I'm honestly in my pants. It's like a bun. Your panties. It's very bad. Every nook in the garden. Then there were the crystals placed in certain areas throughout the house to maximise their energy. Not to mention all the groups for art therapy, meditation and yoga. Still, I'd find her crying from time to time, rubbing the little key of dads she kept hung around her neck.

The next craze, and it was one that seemed to help the most, was fairies. The shop had ordered in these little statuettes of different fairies. This is like a mea-nails note with our little animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to have such a weird house. We're going to have a hot season here invited us around. The only way you gain entry is if you give us a little pickle ring.

Adam, go and get the collection of fucking turtles out of the garage. Yeah. Okay. Trickle with a beanie baby. It would work. Yeah. Okay. The fairies. The shop had ordered in these little statuettes of different fairies, each one striking a distinctive pose that conveyed something of its charm or personality. They were made of iron and had, even to my unbelieving eye, quite impressive detail.

She bought several and created these little shrines everywhere, filled with particular flowers, lit by candlelight and burning certain types of incense. As dusk would fall, I'd find her on her knees in front of a given shrine in a trance, whispering, pleading. As an offering, she would leave little piles of change, mostly coins organised by size, which, after a few weeks, gave me an idea.

My mum had had an issue with her work boots for a while. They were all lumping and uncomfortable. So I got up early one morning, took the coins from the last shrine and placed them in her boots. I told her endlessly to take them back or get some new ones, but she wouldn't listen to me, obviously. If she thought the fairies were telling her to replace them, however, maybe she'd actually listen and stop spending so much money on all this new-aid guff. And I was right. She was, and I'm not exaggerating now, elated when she found the coins. Oh.

In the half an hour before work, she wondered about laughing giggly, almost tap dancing as the coins jangled about inside her shoes. For a moment, our little house felt happy again. So after the next few weeks, I repeated the trick. Not often enough to make it seem obvious, but frequently enough, I noticed her mood started to dip in the absences between visits. She fixed the car. She went to the theater. She met up with some old friends for the first time since Dad passed.

But more and more often, I'd see her praying at the shrine in her room. The one laid with some of Dad's stuff, like his watch, his comb, his belt, his photo. So that night, I crept in and placed the coins on the locked table, next to Dad's side of the bed. The following day, I woke with a start as the sound of a single gunshot split to the quiet of dawn. Oh God, at the end, Sammy.

He had a gun in the fucking draw, didn't he? Right. Yeah. Dad. No, she's dead. She's joined. That was sad, wasn't it? Sad. Fucking, I'll keep it like so. Keep it like so! Creepy there, weak! Creepy there, weak! Creepy there, weak! Creepy there, weak!

No, that was stunning. Well, do you want your name read out? Let's see if we do at the bottom. Yeah, I think so. OK, hey, Hannah and Susie. My name is Adderin. Oh, there you go. Hey. Adderin. Adderin.

I'm a chef from South Wales UK and listen to your podcast. I'm a worker in the kitchen by myself. No, I'm going to quickly do. I'm going to type it out. Yeah, and see what see what the such is.

Oh, my God, it's a Welsh name for girls. It means bird. Birds. Yeah. Out of it. Comes from the Welsh word for bird. And I was looking around with the circle on the birds. I don't know. Let's see. Oh, it's like wildlife again. Oh, my God, it's been really wildlife healthy, isn't it? Too much wildlife, if you ask me. Duomard. A derring. A derring, right. Okay. Well, I hope it's never said again, because I don't want to offend you. A derring. A derring? Hang on.

I'm a chef from South Wales UK and listen to your podcast whenever I'm in work in the kitchen by myself and always find myself cackling with laughter. First things first, are you both ever going to do a gig in South Wales at all? Probably? Yes, well we want to in this Norwegian church, don't we? Oh yes, we're going to do a live show.

Do you want to go to that one? At some point, yes, we will. I would love to go to one of your shows and if it wasn't for the fact that I only found out about your podcast in the past month, I'd have booted for the Bristol one and then sure I'd gotten child care sorted. However, I'm a dick and don't plan ahead. That's fine. We will be there soon. Oh, fine. Now that that's out the way, I'd like to tell you a few stories of my experiences. I've always been a strong believer in the paranormal since I was little, so I was quite prepared for anything that would happen in the future.

My first experience would have been when I was 11 and on holiday with a friend from school and her family and friends. Some of the best holidays and some of the worst. That can, you know what I mean? That can, that can end. We stayed in a small cottage in Devon in the countryside surrounded by rolling fields and a little stream that ran along the front of the property. Oh, God. What's my God's stunning? No other buildings were near the cottage for miles, so it was just us. Even the owners of the cottage lived approximately two miles away down a country lane.

The first day we arrived, my friend and I decided it would be fun to try and do a Ouija board in every room of the house. The first and last time, I had the audacity to apply forward thinking and bring a homemade one from a discarded piece of cupboard. We should try making our own. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

So off we went into each room with a shoddy, Ouija board and a glass, but got no answer every time we used it. So we put it away and forgot about it. Didn't tell anyone that we'd used it as we didn't want to anger the adults at the time. That night, we're all settled down in the living room watching TV. It hits around 9pm and we decide to put on a film. And due to mine and my friends' love for horror, we put on an American horn team to watch.

Now, altogether on this trip there were six people and four talks. Every single person being accounted for on this living space. We press play on the DVD and get five minutes into the intro of the film and both myself and my friend jerk our heads towards the direction of a sound coming from upstairs. Yeah, very good. Both my friends jerk off and that no way as you were children.

Okay, her mom pauses the TV in the room for silent. I watch as her father scans over everyone in the room, obviously counting heads and making sure that everyone's present. All the while, we can hear the childlike running between the rooms above us. I'm scared. Then it stops. We all clancy each other and slowly turn our heads back to the TV. And just as her mom is about to resume the film, we hear the loudest footsteps charging down the old wooden staircase.

We all stand in a panic and turn to open the living room door that we could do.

We all stand in a panic and turn to the open living room door that we could all see a clear view of the stairwell from. Whatever run down the stairs would be there, we were certain, but nothing. No one was there. That night my friend and I shared a bed because we were too afraid to be on our own. Even wearing swimming costumes went bathing so we didn't have to be by ourselves in the bath. The following day we were coming back to the cottage after going horse riding. It's my friend's favourite thing.

And we get back to the cottage where we had left, where we'd left her parents' friends. They'd been there alone while we were out. The man of the pair had been asleep while we were out as he had a debilitating migraine and was sleeping it off while his wife was in the living room. When we stepped through the door, however, he was awake and consoling her out of a panic attack. Tia streaming down a face, he said to us, I was dead asleep and hear a massive bang from upstairs. It sounded like one of the old oak wardrobes hitting the ground. I ran up there and everything was normal. It scared us so much I can't calm her down.

After that, nothing else happened. That was my first experience. Let's fast forward now to when I was 17. My cousin was getting married to my grandfather and his wife, it was a... What? That's not what it says. That is not what it says. Good listening skills for me. Yeah, you're a good job, you picked up on that.

You were going to skate over that committee. Yeah, it was. My cousin was getting married. And my grandfather and his wife. I was like, look, I know that people take the piss out of Wales. I'm like, well, that's the next level. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. That's one listener we've lost. Great. I'm so sorry, you're dead. It polishes. Not suggesting that your family are incest.

Anyway, my cousin was getting married and my grandfather and his wife, who he was not related to, I assume, was attending the wedding in Iceland, but needed someone to man the house and their dog for a week while they were away, so I offered. A week to myself and a whole house, apps are fucking loot lately, that's you now, innit?

The first night I'm there, however, I'm sat downstairs, literally wearing my pants and a vest, watching TV and I need a wee. Their dog, Taz, was fast asleep behind me, so I got up quietly and went upstairs to go piss. Now, I want to give you a quick rundown of the layout, so you understand what my brain went through. My grandpa's out, bamps, she calls him. My bamps house was an end terrace house, and the toilet was in a separate room to the bathroom. Almost like a little airing cupboard-sized room, just for a toilet, and it was at the top of the stairs.

You go up the flight of stairs, there's a little space and another step to the right to get to the landing, then the toilet is on the left. Also, this side of the house is the area that has no house on the other side of it. I know it's long winded and confusing, but it does matter. My grunts' dog would like to sit at that space at the top of the stairs before that step if you were up there. And if you were on the toilet, he'd wait by the door. So I go to the toilet, sit down and hear the many footsteps of four feet running up the stairs.

So knowing he was going to be at the door, I got my phone out, open the door to snap a funny photo of him peering at me while I'd piss but he didn't show up. So I thought he may just be on the stairs. I finish up and go check out him on the stairs but there's no dog in sight. So I think maybe he's in one of the bedrooms. Nope.

Not there either. At this point I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I walked down the stairs and peer into the living room where I was just was. And there he was. Still curled up on the back of the sofa fast asleep and hadn't moved from when I'd left before. I immediately panicked thinking someone's broken in and the mental image of a human running up and down the stairs on all fours.

That is absolutely disgusting. It made my skin crawl. I rush into the kitchen and grab a knife and search every room in that house with my back to the walls and my phone and my hands ready to call someone that is smart.

Nobody there again. Every room was empty, not a sign of a person. I had to call my friend to stay with me for the rest of the week. She arrived at my grandpa's while I'm sat on the sofa having a panic attack, clutching a kitchen knife and staring at the doorway determined to protect this little beige-on-freeze from anything.

I didn't know it was a beige on freeze. I don't think I know what a beige on freeze is. Oh, they're so cute. They're like little and white and fluffy. I do a bit about a beige on freeze, but I don't actually know. Oh, let me, I'll go get a few. I did eventually tell my grandpa about this and he really relieved and told me it was probably patch. He's buried in the garden, remember. I occasionally ask him to give me a sign and he hasn't yet.

That is so cute. But I do have a ghost visual for today. It makes my joke a lot funnier now, actually. Sorry, go back. I didn't miss that last bit because of Googling visual crews. I did eventually tell my grandpa about this, and he looked relieved and told me it was probably Patch. He's buried in the garden, remember. I occasionally ask him to give me a sign, and he hasn't yet. I'm glad he was here looking after you. Patch was my grandfather's dog from where my dad was at my age. That was the most terrifying thing I'd experienced by myself.

And I think we're going to leave it there, even though there are more from Adrian. Oh, my God. We'll do those next time. Yeah, we will. Thank you, Adrian. That was gorgeous. That was lovely. That was episode 104, wasn't it? Well, we need to do our... We get on, we get on. Oh, yes. Well, I have an idea for next week. OK, shall I do this? Well, as you know, I'm very much into tech at the minute, tech ghosts. Yeah, you are very tech, I would say. So I thought...

I thought because, you know, we're down with the kids, we try and use AI to contact the dead AI. So I have a spirit box here in my phone and we can type a question and we can have a conversation with whatever spirits. So what questions would you like to ask first of all? I'll say hello because that's nice, isn't it? Yes, say hello. Hello. Ask if the ghost is the ghost.

Of the sex worker. I do used to work here. Used to present. Yeah. Ghost of the sex worker. Used to work here. Present. Okay. Hello, is the ghost of the sex worker? Oh, you scared me. Greetings. I am the ghost of Alice. Alice. A Victorian, Victorian era sex worker who used to work in the streets of London.

What? Are you just making this up? No, that's what it says. No. Oh, you're texting it? Yeah, I'm texting it, yeah. Oh, my God, it's not him. You're texting Adam and he's just responding. Adam, pretend to be a sex worker from London? No, Adam. Shake your ass for me. Now, back to the podcast. Don't want to know, you're a fucking wrong play.

Okay, say hello. I have said hello. Okay, Alice, are you in this room with us? Are you in the room? Oh, I've got an ad. She's like, yeah, after 30 seconds of a YouTube video. 100 reasons. 100 reasons, Revolut is the new bank for you. What? What does it say? Apologies. I am Thomas, a sailor from the 18th century who once navigated the eyes.

How may I have the answer? Oh my God! The swapping in! Can you say Thomas? What's your best story from the high seas? Are you sexy? Oh yeah, it's even better. Sexy. Thomas. Thomas, you're fair. Thomas. Thomas, you're sexy. Oh, there's a spirit, appearance and physical appearance, no longer hold significance to me. Well, they do to me. I am guided by the essence of who I was in my past life rather than my outward appearance.

Thomas sounds no fun. Thomas sounds like a nurse. I prefer to go back to Alice. Thomas. Thomas, can you get Alice? Is someone more interesting there, please? More sexy there. The ghost of the Beechon Freeze there, because we'd really like that. No, the Beechon Freeze is alive. No, Patch isn't alive. It wasn't Patch, though. The Beechon Freeze was her dog that was there with her that night. I know, but maybe Patch was a Beechon Freeze. That's where there's a there's a breeze. What? There's a cold breeze on me.

Oh, well, he's not happy. He's not happy is responded. In the realm of the spirit world, we do not judge one another based on physical appearances as a concept of being sexy.

We are more focused on the energy and essence of each individual in their life experience. He's obviously an insult. You're obviously minging. You're obviously gross. Each spirit brings their own unique qualities and lessons with them. Oh, just have sex. By Thomas, you say boring. Thanks for joining us on this Sunday. Thank you. And also, if you are new to this podcast,

Also, go back to episode one and listen to Lynn, because she freaks you from every single episode. She's always with us. And if you want more, go to patreon.com forward slash ghosthums, where every month we do a ghost hunt. There's ghost hunts, there's bonus episodes, there's Hans after dark, there's agony hunt, where me and Susie chat. If you enjoy that, you'll love that. Yeah, you go all the goss. There is hours and hours and hours of footage, and we will see you here next week. Bye!