Ep 296. Phants!

Hello, you're listening to Shag My Denoid with me, Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hello, hello. Now, Christopher, how old are you? I am 38. Okay, and how old am I? 38. Do you know who else was 38 in fictional land? Two people. Two people in fictional land? Mm-hmm. I don't know. Stiffler's mum.

What was 38 in the film? What? And also, Kevin McCallister's mum in Home Alone. God fuck off. 38. Yeah. God old. It's the saddest thing. Sadest thing I've ever seen online. I've literally just seen it online and it reminded us that I knew about Kevin McCallister's mum being 38. Well, I did see a meme the other day that had a fort. Well, if you know the guy from Home Alone, who's the old man who does the shovels, the snow? Oh, yeah. And someone had put a fort over them online. It went viral. They put a fort over them. They said, uh, terrified at Google E to the satellite because I know it's going to say that he's 30.

How old is he? It's obviously an old man. Why am I? Is he still alive? How old was he in the thing? I doubt it very much. He was a very old gentleman. Okay. But the joke being that basically that. Yeah. Sorry I ruined the joke. Very upset. Sorry. How are you doing a lot? It's fine. I'm used to it. Um, Stiffla's mom, 38. 38. Wow. So how much do I drink? Well, then again, if you... Yeah, but then he's supposed to be... They're only supposed to be 18 or 17 or something in American Pie, aren't they? Definitely in the first one. They're probably 60.

Okay, yeah, so so yeah, it makes sense. She would have been younger, but she's probably been about 19 or 22. It's a perception in it. Like remember watching Saved by the Bell and thinking fucking hell, these are like grown-ups, but they weren't. Do you know what I mean? They all just like, they all just looked, I don't know if they're just, instead of getting kids to play them, they just got all up here to play them. I mean fucking hell, the new series of Stranger Things. Fucking, they've got beads in that.

Seen it. Oh yeah, they are older on that. I don't know how they're gonna deal with that, but they've got like mad mad older since she's married now. Oh, John Bon Jovi Sun. Yeah, yeah. And just look at me running around in it. She's gonna be running around in a night. You with a little nose, please, telling all the monsters to stop it. It's like, you got a mortgage look.

You gotta vote for him, you gotta get on the way. What are you doing? Oh, I love Stranger Things. Oh, it's great. Yeah, coming back. Yeah, really good. Really exciting. Anyway, listen, how are you? I'm freezing, Chris. She's got a chord on. It's got me chord on. Absolutely pathetic. It's not my chord here. This room is really cool. Honestly, you picked to this room like fucking Scrooge's office where Bob Cratch at works. That's how I feel. That's how I feel. That's how I feel. Do you know what I've done a really silly thing? A really, really silly thing, right?

I'm so annoyed with myself. Yeah. So all me socks have gone minging, right? Like, hauls just runk, like, to the point where I was like, you, do you now read what my, like, just now and then some of your socks end up in my sock. I think that's all for an very upset. Can I just say, never used to happen years ago when I didn't. So sorry, just another, this,

Again, incredible, incredible bit of arrogance by you. You're now claiming that you run so fast, you're burning halls in your socks. It's got nothing to do with this feed. It was more just the friction. Because this never used to happen to me socks. And now that I'm on the treadmill more often than I ever have been in my entire life. Me socks, I want a shit. So I feel like... So if you don't have sports socks, are you just using any old socks for the treadmill?

What? Disgusting. A sock is a sock? A sock is not a sock. You've got to have your gym socks. Then this doesn't happen. What are gym socks? Like specials gym socks, sports socks, that you buy for sports. I'll wear it under armour socks for any kind of, not gross. No, I don't. What are you wearing just normal? What are you wearing? Just dance.

Cozy toes. Oh, God. Supermarkets can't beat the supermarket suck. Well, it sounds like you can, because you're fucking ripping holes in them. I am actually. The last, the literally last number of four months, that's it. Anyway, so what I did a few months ago, I was like, do you know what it is, right? I've had enough of this trip myself, right? I got rid of all my shitty socks. So I had like two business socks. And I bought loads of marxies and I was like, look at me, treating, treat yourself. They're all really short.

Like the not the not train our socks, right? They've got about two inches above the where train our socks would be luck. Okay. Oh, yeah, so depressing a little angle socks. So I can't tuck them in. I usually took me trousers in

I usually walk around with me trousers, tuck in the me socks all the time. Just it's a sexual feast for the eyes volunteer by the way. There's trousers, tuck in the socks. I'm going to take a photo and I'll put it on Instagram. Yeah, that's, um, yeah, you've, again, not surprised, not surprised if you've written holes in your monkey socks, not surprised you bought a load of them without even checking what they were. Sometimes you and your mom, for being such organized people, sometimes it's just slap and slap and dodge. I bought 10 pairs of these. Of course it is.

Yeah, literally put your eggs in one basket. I'll put your socks in one basket on the market's website and then realize another one kind of socks. Fucking moron. Unbelievable. Sad times. Okay, well, could, well, they go Christmas. I was size four. Can I have some gym socks, please? Can you write it down? Didn't you just say it and gym socks weren't a thing?

I know, but I would rather not have to add in actually, right? Okay. We'll see what's on again. Forgive my arrogance. I didn't know the word for that thing. I thought it was just, I thought it was just people trying to sell us extra shit. You listen to me right now, right? Listen to me right now. Yes. I've got Trina socks. I've got Arnold socks. Yeah. I've got tall socks when I wear boots, right? I've got gym socks. I've got cycling socks. I've got trampoline and socks. I've got golf socks.

I've got a set of socks for every occasion, love. Do you know what else you've got? What? Too much fucking time on your hands. That's what you've got. My brain, if I open my drawer and thought, oh, what category of socks should I wear this year? Absolutely not. You're lucky that the matching. That's a man who doesn't do his own washing right there, what you're just saying. And I'm going to eat my own words because I've got a little bit warm, so I've got me caught.

You've got so high, you're about to get there. That's because they're softer to high. Do you know what's that? But your uncle's bloody boiling. I haven't put any deodorant on yet. Because I've fallen in the gym. She tucks her socks in. I pants in her socks and she doesn't wear deodorant. And something else. Sorry, something else that I put this morning. I want me to just say, 99% sure you just ripped that coat and pulled it off there. I'm not ripped. I definitely heard it rip, but carry on.

I'm gonna fall out of the day. I have two things that are upsetness. I haven't had a wash yet, because I'm gonna go in the gym, and I just hate washing all that I hate, showering all the time. That's one thing about getting fit that really upsetters. The amount you have to wash is just, I find it infuriating, right? And I'm gonna do me tan late, I wanna do it in the car. Anyway, I'm gonna put, have it on in the car. Yeah, you're not doing it in the car. So, we need to hurry up, because I'm, I'm purse Byron, and I'm going to do it in the car.

Perspy! Perspy! And I bought this jet lag mask by summer Friday, I think it's cold, it's quite posh, and I put it on, and it said you wouldn't have it on for 10 minutes, I've had it on for an hour, and I'm freaking out. Jet lag mask.

second moisturizing thing that you just put on, because I washed my teeth the first thing in the morning. Are you but yours yet? Yes. Have you? I've fully read it this morning. I did cold tub and everything before I even took it to school. I wasn't. Fucking cold tub and it's three degrees outside. You're gonna die. The tub, the water in the tub is warmer than the outside. It's actually, I stand in the cold and I'm like, oh God, I can't, it's like one degree outside. I'm like, I don't know if I can do this, I get in. I'm like, this is actually quite nice. It's four degrees in the tub.

Hey, hey, what? Not an ad. I bought some socks for family members from TK Max the other day. Yeah. What a bloody collection of men socks they've got. Honestly, hashtag not an ad. I do like TK Max a lot, but if you after some nice socks for lads, I bought teenager socks, I bought dad socks, I bought brother socks. Hey, listen, even you got looking for your pair socks. Get yourself some socks, man. Sort out your own house first. I've got loads of socks. Oh my God. What?

What what a turn around that was i started off talking about how i don't have any socks and i ended finishing think no one that i bought used to be i think i'm jesus. You think jesus because you go without so that people can have. Fucking robin hood of socks christ alive guys it's episode two hundred ninety six thank you so much for listening thank you so much for putting up with rosy fucking shit by the way.

How are you still? Yeah, honestly. What are you doing? Not in this planet. Seriously, seriously how are you still here? I'm a dick. You are not in this planet. I'm a dick, right? And he's even, he's more of a dick. There it is. Um, weirdly, all of this chat takes us incredibly, and I did not plan this, takes us straight into this week's lucrative. Don't even, because they're going to think it's fake. What is this? It's not, this week's sponsor. If it sucks, I'm going to lose my mind. It's wearing trainer socks with boots. No, you cannot have had that.

That's what I got, it's written down there. And they got in touch. We're in trainer socks. Are you talking? Because I don't like shit like this, because I hate that I hate. I had no idea you were going to bore me senses about socks. Okay. I had no idea. But you know, upset is everyone. I really hate that you might ever think that we over produce this all. Because I tell you right now, it's deliberately done.

on an absolute slapdash because I can't be overproduced stuff I like all the podcasts I listen to are a bit slapdash and I kind of like it well we've done with every crime ones they've got to be done properly but the reason we are slapdash is because if we have to over rehearse things we get bored with it

I've done it before. But I do it with even other people when I've done TV shows and they go, let's rehearse my chat. I go, I can't rehearse the chat. And the thing I'm being an asshole and I go, if we rehearse what we're going to talk about when the cameras are on, I will say something else. And it's not on purpose. I just won't be able to say the thing I've said before and make it look genuine unless I'm acting off the script. Anyway, wearing trainer socks with boots did it the idea by accident. Couldn't go back upstairs. I was like, I have to leave. Well, okay, I can't wear trainer socks in the gym.

It's horrible. What are you running? Can't you boot? Well, they fall down. They've come down. Yeah, you've got your trainers. That's what you've got. But my point is, I'm wearing trainer socks. I put red-wing boots over the top. E, it was horrible. No, you can't. E, it was horrible. I've done it before.

And I sat down, I sat down and he pants lifted up and someone looked and I thought, he's wearing boots and all socks. Kind of perfect, I'm surprising from the police. Yeah, disgusting. And then sometimes I've had them, I've done it before, Rogue, you get a blister. And they end up like in the arch of your foot. Yeah, it was honestly, I was walking and I thought, I need to go home and change these. Oh, it was horrible. Oh my gosh. What? Do you have an arch or do you got flat feet? I've got an arch.

Let's have a look. Just stand there, just stand there with your feet. I've got my slip up. I'll take your slip up. Actually, while I'm getting up and walking around, I'll turn one of the fucking heaters off because it's mental in here. Oh, he's got his new, I bought my new pair slip. That's from taking him out. Which were, can we just flag the one early Christmas present? So on Christmas morning, if he says he hasn't got enough, that was one of his presents. I'll come back and fight that. Stand your foot down. Oh yeah, nice, nice, nice.

Oh, because I was going to say it for later, but we'll have somebody sent in an ick that they didn't realize and they've been with their partner for like six years and they just found out that they've got a flat feet. Oh, like little penguin. Bless them. And I think I really put them off. Do you slip as dawn count as a Christmas present? Why? Because you gave us them before Christmas.

Right then, well, I'll have 9.99 back, please. No, no, that's not... No, I'm not. You and your mum can't hold your fucking water. You cannot hold your water and you both go, I've been to Christmas shopping, do you want it now? Well, I'll have it now, but on Christmas morning, I'm gonna go absolutely mental if there's nothing to walk with. I just like giving people stuff. Yeah. I don't know. Do you know what is their bloody lovely slippers? They are really... And you don't... Do you know what it is? Maybe I'll have to get you another day for Christmas. I love these knackered by Christmas. These will be putrid by Christmas. My feet are the... If you don't even like smelling like they're not like... I don't know. I smell worse.

Right. Okay. Well, yeah. Let's do it. Let's do it. Lovely mood again. I'm a great mood. Let's get the bloody jingle. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. Do some podden. Yes, the jingle. Podd some cast.

We had a fight about the jingle, jingle We couldn't set alone a jingle, jingle So this is the jingle, jingle We hope you like the jingle, jingle

Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of shagged married annoyed hello just like behind the behind the curtain here Rosie quickly ran through the bathroom wash whatever she was talking about your jet lag mask off your face because he said he thought your face was gonna melt and the heat isn't on the bathroom she ran through and screams and pure the old part of the house and all

And then just came back in and said, I'm really, really gutted about these socks. I don't want to go on about socks too much more, but the only thing that just as you walked out of the room, and I saw you little socks as you walked out, the only thing that really resonated in my head was what kind of lunatic throws away all of their socks before the new ones arrive.

No, not the ones that were okay. They were mainly knackered. They were all knackered. I can't describe to you. They were all like, to the point one of them, you know, the soul of your foot, but the front bit, what to call like the pad bit. What to call it? Front bit. Front bit. In between the art and the tools.

Yeah, like dog, like the dog bit. Like, you know, like the pole, that bit. Um, there was holes there, just full actual. There's doctors or physios or someone listening in their head screaming the fucking name of Sharapha. There's no dog. I don't know. We're going to have to know. Oh, you'll never find it, man. Right. Google's amazing. The dog, the dog bit, the poor of the weirdest bit is everyone listening. You know what would you know what we're talking about. That's the weirdest bit. The dog bit, the poor.

The forefoot. There we are. Metatarsals, phalanges. Oh, phalanges. And cesamoids. Right, you're talking about the top of the foot, not the bottom, but fair enough. Oh, fuck, I'm in the bottom. Is that wrong? Right. My Kate would know. Right, no, no.

Just because she does reflectology. No, we're not running out. Central forefoot. Thank God, right? There it is. The worst bit is, though. You know what's really weird? If you said me central forefoot, no one will know what you're saying. But annoyingly, you said the poor bit, the dog bit. Everyone's gone. Everyone knew, so they go. But it is, thank you. Yeah, we'll go. I can't remember what it was going to say. I'm assuming shit about us. Okay, now.

I tell you what though, what used to be a lovely treat for me on tour, what I used to love doing. I would go, if we had a bit of time to kill somewhere, I would go to the local H&M or wherever, and I would get new Wonderpants and new socks while on tour. Treat yourself. A lovely little treat. I'll be on stage that night and be like, I've got my new underwear. It is nice getting new kegs in that. I need some new bras. God, I'm terrible.

I once bought new ones from, I think it was an H&M, yeah, and I went to the gig on the night, and I went open the packet. I've got these security tags still on it. Oh, fuck. Do you know what it is? Do you know what it is? That has happened to me so many times. Guys, I will warn you now, if I buy clothes off you in a shop, I am that dickhead. I'll watch you, pat it down. And if I don't say your take tag off, I will say it is that tagged. And honestly, you're going to hear this. You're going to think, what a bitch. But I'm not going home and getting a tag.

Going back, they get a tag taken off, it's so upsetting. What's even worse is what I do, which is I just go to the closest shop. That is a shop that has security tags and go, can you get this off our board? And they always think you've nicked that all the time. Are we bought a thing once? Didn't ever didn't work. I know the change of shape. I bought one. I bought one. I paid him at the change of the shape of them down there to keep up with the criminals. The criminals. Well done. Well done. Baba do Baba do Baba do Baba do Baba.

Quick shout out to everyone who donated to Children in Needs on last Friday. It was absolutely wonderful show. Thank you to all of the lovely messages I've had after it. It was really great. Shout out to all the other people. The whole team, everyone behind the scenes, everything was phenomenal. And I reckon we've probably raised, I reckon, because it goes, it would go 39 million on the night. Oh, it's going to go up. Yeah, so it's like sort of other things trickling during the night and stuff. And people watching it late, Aaron, stuff like that. And Aaron would have probably hit 40 million.

Which is the highest. I mean, I don't know. Okay, I'm not know. I mean, you did not contribute any of that money. I did. So you can say the way you raised it. I was there. I think, no, okay, I think you should say the charity. Not we, you didn't. We everyone. Okay. I was there. I was doing stuff. I dressed up as a gladiator. Well, no, listen, it's very important because nearly I reckon probably 40 million after my cut, that's 200 out of the charity.

as 200 English pounds for children need. The don't get paid. Listen, compliment, compliment. Oh, you did really well. You're very good at it. You're very good at it. And I feel like you should do more presenting on your own. And so if anyone's listening, you know, BBC one, ITV channel for all of them sky, whatever Chris loves presenting on his own. So get in touch. Right. With me.

wife just pimping us out there and something I did something I wanted to talk about and I've never told you this thing I've never told you this because this happened the day before we were rehearsing me and all the gladiators were rehearsing my big sort of dance bit and do you know that the gladiators all call each other by the gladiator names

What do you mean? I was talking to one of them. I was talking to one of them and I was like, there was a female guy doing that and I was talking when I said such and so I asked her something and she went, oh, I'll just check. Nightroll. Nightroll. Are we doing this? And I went, sorry, stop you there. I went, you, you call him Nightroll. She went, yeah, yeah. I went, you all call each other by your gladiator names. She went, yeah, yeah. But they're not just that. So some of them call them by

shortened versions of the gladiator names. I can't remember, one of them was called swimming and she was like, call them like, I don't know what it was, but it was like jazz for short. So it was a short version of whatever his gladiator name was. And they, they, not, they were all standing there going, yeah. And they, there's not that many, they can know each other by their, by their birth names, they know all of their real birth names, but they choose to communicate via the gladiator names.

Okay, I don't know if that is that is that class or is it wrong? I can't work it out. I couldn't believe it. Okay part of his things awful horrendous. It's a character blood blood the other part thinks

I'm obsessed with that. I can't. What am I Chris? What? How do I feel about it? Honestly, honestly, I don't know. I'm just trying to find a band. I'm trying to find the name of the more because one of them, she was seeing it. She didn't even meet. I've only met one of them. You didn't even meet him. You wasn't there. So we haven't even got a, we haven't even got a mutual gladiator in common.

I tell you what, sound as fuck. Really nice, nice people that were dead canny. Glad he ate us with the 16 of them. Right, I can't find all their names. Oh, there they are, Phantom. That was it. Phantom image was calling them fans. That was it. It was going fans, fans. And I was going, what?

You know what it is? I was fully on board with it, but the shortened abbreviated, I can't get on board with it. Sadly, I wouldn't have minded Phantom. Oh my gosh, do you want to hear something? Do you know when you think now that I've got children, right?

And you know when they get to experience certain things and you kind of think, are they going to be that bothered? But like, I think it's really important. So when I was younger, do you know, did you know that some of the gladiators came to my school? Thank you, pardon? Yes. Right. Couldn't they? The gladiator. And Jett, who you loved, came to my school. Hunt, I was the one who was shagging, Richard Johnson. Yes. Sorry, in a relationship. I don't think Richard Johnson was there. She might have been, you know. Wasn't a gladiator.

But you presented it. Yeah. I can't remember if she was there or not. Sadly. Sorry. Allegedly. Just going to say that. Last week I learned just to be careful. Allegedly. Allegedly. He was hung out, I think, if I remember rightly, was the one who may or may not have been having... Was it fairs like... No, no. I think I want to get there for a bit. Allegedly. Allegedly. Just in case. Well done. It's a really good tool. All the Americans do it.

And so we had to do a photo shoot with them. And during the photo shoot, we got dressed up in these like sumo suits and we had to run. And like, you know, when you get flipped upside down, you stick to the wall. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we did that right. Yeah. And on for the photo shoot, I got a hunt as back.

And it was honestly one of the best days of my entire life. And I still remember it now as being just a class. One of the best days of your entire life. I just remember two kids wedding day, two kids wedding day, sold out your two, done your own TV show, done comic relief.

Best day of your life. Do you remember Hunter? Yes, I was obsessed with Hunter. Yeah, it's good luck, fella. Very good luck, fella. I mean, I was a bit, I was actually a bit, so I didn't like fully fancy him, but gladiate as when I was younger was unreal. Incredible. But it's the same now for kids now. Honestly, again, there was sound and I don't...

i didn't know you go like you meet people you know i meet like you meet sports people in this job you meet like reality tv stars you meet loads of people i'm not going to dig anyone out but you know i've met some pricks and you go okay there's pricks in every oh there's a supermarket of course oh no no sorry i'm just saying i don't i there's there's actors who are pricks

Oh yeah sorry I didn't mean just in them two camps I meant across the board. Oh yeah yeah yeah. I didn't know where the gladiators would fall. I didn't know I was like in my head I kind of had reality TV star and I had like a sort of cross section with sports star. Maybe a bit with model as well. So I was like what are these going to be like? Absolutely sound. I feel like what they are is fitness junkies who have got charisma.

Yeah, yeah, like a peloton instructor. Yeah, yeah. Didn't enjoy standing next to them. No, that was upsetting. So I had to weigh me little me ram thing, me whole stuff. I think I'm going to text someone about today because I would like it. Because I think it would be really funny to turn up to a jiu-jitsu competition with it on.

You can't do jiu-jiu-jitsu competitions, whether you're going on their sets. Can, go on at the end of the month, nothing you can do. You can, we're right. We've got boobah, we'll be fine. Listen. I'm right. It's a November. You cannot, we've got a corporate on the 5th of December. Fucking shit!

You can't, you get black eyes and you, you will get too excited because people will know who you are and you'll break, you will get broke, you'll break something. Right, all right then, well then what will happen is you'll break somebody else's arm and you'll end up in the papers. You won't end up in the papers, that'll be, watch out for him, he's good. It'll not be. Stop it, you don't have a normal life. 30th November, British orbit. Listen, what was I saying? 30th November, I'm out on the 30th

not anymore. You can't. You've got the kids. Well, they're coming with us. I'm so sorry. Listen, you cannot compete. I can. You can't. I don't know, Will. I need you. It's in as it's in as the fire. All right. Okay. I'm calling it now. I'm calling it on here with our bloody, however, I don't know how many people listen now. Four or five. If you day, if you've

If you dare, come back. If anything's broken, black eyes. Anything. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be fume it. I'll leave you. I will leave you. Black eye will be fine. Black eye will be fine. Black eye is not okay. Black eye is fine. I had a black eye last week. Black eye is fine. We're just explaining it where I look. He's got black eyes and idiot. That's fine. Nothing debilitating. I think that's gonna stop us helping around the house and being a good dad. Superdad. Hashtag the ramp.

I'm so upset about this. Listen, what all I want to say is, right? BJJ is fine. It's lovely. It's great. I'm so happy that you found something. You don't have to compete. You don't know what it's like in our gym. Sometimes it's like a competition. It's fucking nuts, man. There's a fucking 80-year-old goes to the gym. His mom listens to this. I met at the audience. It's dead, can he? Your son's a fucking animal. He's an animal. I literally had to just slow him down. He wouldn't stop. He's a maniac. Yeah, but I get that. But I just think in a competition environment, you are

You are not gonna be calm and I know you're too well. Listen, you're gonna get overexcited. You're gonna hurt yourself or hurt somebody else. Listen, please. Oh, I can't. Why? It's like having a third child. Listen, you can't do a competition. I can! I can't on a wheel and I have to and it's in us. Be fine man, Tom Hardy doesn't mean that.

Don't worry about him, man. Mark Zuckerberg did one. He does all his typing on that. He's fingers were fine. Right. He'll be alright. Crack the fuck on. Doesn't even matter what's going to say about the random thing. You've ruined it. You've absolutely ruined it.

You put us in a hoof now. Great. I know what I was going to say. So I was standing in my little uniform thing and I had to stand on the stage, you know? Everyone would say what you've had for your breakfast, your knob and that's on shore. Did it show below? I didn't fully look. No. Well, I had to put this thing on. So it's like underpants, but it's like a padded bra. So imagine like what a padded bra feels like near preen or something. So put these underpants on, they're like modesty pants. And I stood with all like near all the months stage and I went and we had to wait for them to set the lights up and stuff. And I'm just standing there and I'm in rehearsals. And I was like,

I was like, I use used to this because I feel really exposed here. I feel really like almost fit. It's like a turn up a work naked dream. It's really odd. And, uh, one of them was like, Oh God, I think it was a night roll. He was like, Oh dude, he was like, just come and stand with all of them. And he's like, it's a pack mentality. You've all got to just like stand together and just like own it. I was like, okay. And I stood at the middle of them and I was like, Oh, this is worse. This is much worse.

Like, this is so much worse because you're all absolutely rippling and I'm just like last chicken and cheese. He's in the middle. He's like, this is fucking, this is so destroying. I went and still on the corner. No, you look, no, don't worry about it. You look great. You look quite trim. You look good. Um, all I think I could never do any kind of job like that because our spots are spots. Well, I couldn't see your ass. Sometimes I get a spot on me.

and you just think, I mean, did you, the first shot you wanted to see in the first shot? It was just one of their asses. I don't know if it was a mistake. It was like, there's the children in need and they've just zoomed in on one of their glasses. I don't know if it was deliberate. I don't know if it was a bit sort of like a cheeky thing, but it was, yeah, just, and all I thought was, I could never do that because I got spots on me also. Right. Okay. Yeah, we'll go there. After I had the kids, I got felt like the latest remember when I had just the spot of your stars. And I was like, I just want to die.

I remember. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. You dragged me. You dragged me story down at the dirt twice there. So well done. Well done. I'm sorry. Party pooper. Baba do Baba do Baba do Baba. Need to tell you something. Yeah. My friend Andrew Cuddley who listens to this podcast. He's got the cafe in Scarborough. Yeah. Yeah. Espresso yourself. I'm sorry. I'm not going to say the wrong name, but I think that's what it is. Hello, friend. Hello, friend. Yeah.

The guy I can't be is going out the fuck it's called, but well done. Go to them doing very well. He told me, you know how I talk about soggy cereal? Yes. He told me that he also enjoys his cereal, extremely soggy. Awful. Like leaves it to get soggy. Awful. He took it one step further. He's got a friend, right? Right. And he told me that his friend... No. Chris. I know what you're going to say. I will tell you the truth if I don't want to ruin this bit. Right. But if it's what I think you're going to say, I'll tell you if I got it right. Okay, then.

His friend, pause the ball of cereal on an evening. Oh, no! With the milk. I thought you were going to say it puts it in the microwave, but you're going to say it leaves it overnight. It leaves it overnight in the fridge. Absolutely disgusting. It eats it the next day. Cereal, overnight, always. Cereal. Cereal. Like special K, like crunchy nut corn flakes. Leave them. Nut corn flakes. Exactly. Take that crunch out your mouth right now. Exactly. That's disgraceful. That's gross, isn't it?

All the night! Horrible. Heaven's above. And you take the piss out of me for looking crisps.

Oh, God. It's sensations, the winner. It's like everyone wants it so they just must just love that. You imagine how fucking disgusting that is. You're a bit of drink that. I love a crunch, me. The owner I've got, I've realized that I'm a texture person and I enjoy. I enjoy nuts in like a noodles situation. I enjoy like crispy onions on top of things. Crispy onions on a hot dog do more of the leg work for that hot dog or the leg work.

I love a hot dog, you know, too. I love hot dogs. I love them, but I'm very aware that they're absolute fucking dog shit. I mean, they are just, oh my God, I completely forgot about this. Well, I mean, like a sausage and a bone. All right. Yeah. Carl Hutchinson told me something the idea. And I don't think I've told you this. He told me. Congrats to Colin Sophie. They've just had another baby. They have just had another baby. Well done. Some people get all the luck.

Now listen to this two girls now listen to this although I mean he's not going to be fought within a square mile in that house when they're actually he's gonna have to go to the fucking shed far and even then someone will run in and go like.

When I fought and you come into the room, I'm so upset. It happens so much, it happens so much. You're upset. What? Are you always lovely, pretty much, Rochelle? I was everywhere. And gorgeous Mel, were you farting in front of them? No, no. So this is the thing, right? So you do all the rehearsals during the Dean, you do not sit in this, loads of people, there's massive shoes. And I'm like, I'll stand around. So Mel, I did adequately there, actually.

And I'm standing around and I'm like, I need to, I need to break windy. I need a pump. So I would go and find a blade. I can't believe I haven't told you this. So I'd go and find a little place to like fart or whatever. So I went around the corner next to a door that I'd never seen anyone use, right? And I stood there. Yeah, I believe I haven't told you this. And I went over the corner and I like that. I thought it was, it was ridiculous as well. It was like an absolute.

Because there wasn't much food in the monus I'd had one of them heeled drinks. Oh god. I'm not out. I'm not joking. I must have been a five second fart, right? And I stood there. No one was coming. I thought this is great. I swear to you, about two seconds after I did the fart, the door that I'd never seen anyone use to the 48 opened and a fucking tour came in. A tour? What, like, if people... Like, stewed your tour of loads of people just having a look up at the seat.

Did I have to walk through your heart? I was gutted while I walked through it and then lingered right near it while the were watching the rehearsals on the thing and I just saw the game in and as soon as the game in I looked at the guy and I looked like he knew what was going on so I went and I like pulled a face and I moved away from them as if one of them are you little shit you are horrible

Anyway, hot dogs, right? So, Carl Hutchinson told me this the idea, and I... You may have told us in the past, I might have forgotten. I don't know if I've told you this, so please apologize if I had. Have you ever heard how he used to eat hot dogs?

No, I haven't actually heard this. I don't know what God knows how because I feel like I know everything about colleges in but come on. So everyone prepare yourselves because it's disgusting, right? Can I guess like a pelican? No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't want it. You don't want everyone to know. So you can open his collar. He used to be at the neck of paint in a second. It was crazy. So.

He would, at school, he was like, I love the school hot dogs. He goes up and I told you how I used to eat them. I don't know how I got on with you. Yeah. So he would get the hot dog in the bun, right? And he would take the hot dog out of the bun and then you get the hot dog and he would bike just the top of the hot dog, right? And he says, you couldn't do it every day. You don't need to do it certain days, depending on how they've been cooked. But he'd bite the top of the hot dog and he would hold the hot dog. You know, I remember these hot dogs. Yeah. And he would hold the hot dog and he would, and he would suck all of the meat out of the skin.

leaving basically like a used condom. And then he would put the skin back in the bun and eat just the skin in the bun, like a little skin sandwich. Why? Why does he do anything? Why would he do that? Why does he do anything? He was on the phone at me yesterday in a car pond. He was eating a quiche. He was eating a quiche?

While he was on the phone to me, he went, I've been really busy at the house and I've just took some Keisha in the car to eat while I wait for the bed. And the best bit was, there was someone waiting for, I've still got the record. It's worse than me. There was someone waiting to get into the car, in the car park space, in the world watching him eat a Keisha, they were really angry. It shouldn't be what, it should be what would call eat. Was someone gonna meet out the hot dog for you? Right, listen, listen, this is off last night. Right.

So I'm not parked perfectly. I think I am kind of taking up two spaces. Imagine how annoyed somebody was there when the so I was taking up two spaces and then look through. And I was eating a bit of kish. A bit of kish.

Called, called Kish. In a car. In the middle of November. Taking up two spaces. That's really upset me. In the car, called Kish in the winter. Yeah, taking up two spaces. So someone's looking going to take them two spaces and they're like, what's he doing there? And he's just like, what's he doing there? Was it on a plane that, with a knife or no? Oh yeah, no, it was full on. He takes a plate, foil, and then fork.

Do you know I had saw some on the other day in a work van. It was a workman. Like a tradesman. Yeah. In his car, having a coffee out of a mug while driving over here. I mean, well, he probably had a, he probably got a thermos flask with him. He probably likes drinks. It was like it was a really sort of weird thing to say. Respect. Respect. So thoughts on the hot dog.

awful. They're not that big. I remember the hot dogs from school. We weren't getting any sort of like special, you know, American hot dogs. Well, they were actually crap. They were really thin hot dogs. It's so unnecessary. So he found a way to really enjoy them. But he said, some days you couldn't do it. So some days you could, but if it wasn't Cooper, you couldn't do it. He was just

I can't imagine having to see someone do that. He's not an ugly guy. He's quite an attractive guy, but I just feel like you'd see it and go, oh no. What's happened there? Do you know what I mean? Baba do Baba do Baba do Baba. It's time for... Don't do it, don't do it. I was put that again. People have been getting upset about that bit. What was he eating? There's only a little one. People have been getting very upset. Yeah, fuck them.

Imagine being that kind of person who's just doing the burp. I just I just think yeah There's lots of stuff I walk through like constantly being upset by things, but I don't I don't tell them I slag them off behind the back. Oh, yeah Just people need to learn to just people need to learn to do that more It's all right. You're not gonna go to hell if you slag people off Just didn't you don't have to tell them at the face. No 100% um do you know what I went on X?

the artist formerly known as Twitter on Friday night after children need. And I saw, I did see a negative comment, but about you. Well, about about yeah, just about the presenters in general. What is it? Bring back to every walking. What is that? Well, I thought, does someone want to tell this person?

Oh, did they not realise? I don't know, will you just go? Obviously, I ignored it, but... You go, it's an insult, but it's so strange that I'm not going to take it personally. Because I don't think you know what day it is. I mean, come on. Just ask where the card. I mean, come on. Honestly, just bring back Julie Garland. No good singers anymore.

Are you ready for some wood rosy eat? I am. Oh, you don't eat. Okay. No, I've had too bad eggs. I'm not starving. No, no, but in this scenario, you have to be starving at the moment. But it's normally better if I am. Right. Just to go over the rules again. Yes, starving. You haven't eaten for ages, you feel sick, you're weak, you need food no matter what. Whatever the rules are set out as, you have to follow the rules if not the man murders your whole family. Right?

There was never the man was heavily implied from the start, okay? He was heavily implied from the start. Okay, following Friday's episode where Chris was a man, would Rosie eat? Oh, would Rosie and Chris eat a fully wrapped mini fudge from the miniature heroes tub?

Worst one. You've already lost it. Oh, really? I love the fudge. But it has been stamped on by a horde of comprehensive students and you have found it on a muddy nature trail. No. No. No. There's nothing for us. They go on and say, I hate to admit it, but I did eat the fudge when I found it. This was only five years ago when I was on my year at school trip.

Ew. Next one. Yes. So you wouldn't have ate that fudge. Just because you don't like fudge. There's nothing to do with. All right, well, it's your favorite. What's your favorite one? A little dairy milk that's been stamped by all the companies. Okay, and I'm starving and I haven't eaten this guy going to murder me. Money near to tell. No, he's not going to. He's only going to do it. If you go and wash it with hot water.

family gone. Right? You can't change the rules. You have to make everything so thin as that. Why couldn't it just be? Would you eat this? No, no, no, no, no. You know what the world's like? The demon you've got a bit of sex to it, but I know it wants to know. Bit of danger. Come on.

I think this is where we're competing with YouTube as Mr Beastie's locked thousands of people in cages and that and make them fight each other. We've got a company like that. We had to turn a Mr Beastie program off the other day because we caught Robin watching on YouTube. It was literally he had all different ages in boxes in this massive arena. And then I tried to get each other to leave so they could win money and Robin was what and I went absolute what the fucking Hunger Games is this? Yeah, it was nuts.

Yeah, it was. It was in Robins like, yeah, but he's so kind. He gives away money. I'm like, but he's big and people fight for no, no, no. Julius, Mr. Beast Caesar. Right. Scenario one, there is a shortage of potato. I love potatoes. There is a shortage of potatoes and Rosie has been offered the last packet of beefy hula hoops.

by an 80 year old woman, thank you. However, the lady admits that she did use the bag to store a couple of her own crusty toenail clippings. Unfortunately, as Rosie has handed these crisps, there is a power cut and Rosie can't say a thing.

There's so many layers. Why is there so many layers? But she hasn't aired for so long, will she eat them? And there's a shortage of potatoes. No potatoes anymore. This is the last part of the haloobs. Yes. I would just be able to feel if there was tornails in there. Okay, pitch black, total darkness. You would be able to feel. All right, okay. So now you're too. There's a shortage of potatoes, Grace. Okay, okay, have to be fair.

So now you're too, Rosie is at her favourite place to eat and she wants some of her favourite patty. The chef tells her that she's lucky she has come to day as it's his last batch of the patty. The only thing is, the restaurant has been burgled and the only thing they've got for Rosie to spread the patty is a used earbud that the chef himself has used. Rood Rosie eat this. What is wrong? What is wrong with you people? His person sent in two scenarios and they're absolutely quality. I'm not that first of all patty.

but I am starving and someone's gonna murder me family. Look, again, they're not gonna, you don't have to eat it, you just have to follow the rules. Follow the rules and your family are fine. Okay, well, I'll tell you right now, I don't wanna, I don't want it. Fine. Because if I was starving, I'm telling you right now, the thing, the last thing I wrote is patty. Right. Not that I don't, I don't dislike patty, I just... Yeah, okay. We don't buy patty. We don't buy patty. We don't buy patty. No, it's one of them things. Sorry, everyone, we're saying patty, we mean meat butter, but you know. Meat spread.

Meat sandwich spreads upset, isn't it? Oh, you just... I mean, then I made it a sandwich once. Nondescript stuff. With like a spread and I was just scared. Yeah. This is... Nondescript thing. Awful. Yeah. And but I love like, so I love like, you know, like ham and the tin. All over that, the jelly and that. Unbelievable. But I can't get away with like a sandwich spread. Just too much. Yeah. No, I couldn't. I know. I don't buy a patty because we don't eat it enough.

So the thing with the patty, you've got a fucking smash do that. You haven't got long with the patty. Exactly. You think I want a fancy bit of patty on a bit of crusty bread. You want yourself a patty on Monday. You're having patty for three days or you're going to be ill. Or you're throwing your patty away. And do not gout really scares us. Do you know who's got a little bit of a beginning of gout? Who? What's his name? Jack Whitehall.

I'm not surprised. No, but is it bullshit? The accent. It was only the Instagram story. The accent is gouty. It was only the Instagram story that it was a story in the press, and he shared it, but he did not deny it. Right. You never know a Jack, is he such a journal? I don't know, but it's a goat. Isn't it? That's a very sort of like... That is the goutiest of the foods, like the 100% of the scout in the packet, isn't it? I mean, praise for Jack. Yeah. Praise for Jack, sorry. But he hasn't got a goat.

It's only a bit, it's not- You lose your lids? I think if you keep going, I'm sure if you just start, I don't- I don't look, be honest with you, I don't know anything about goat. I don't know anything about goat, I just know that it's normally what people say when they've got goat. But it's very rich, I think it's very intense sort of foods. Yeah, yeah. I've tried to use an avocado oil, so we're not going to get goat.

We'll see. You don't know how much I can eat. Now, hello, I work in a hospital and I've just got into the lift to go home and inside was one of our cleaners with one of those massive bins on casters, which wheels, which was completely filled. I think all casters. Which was completely filled to the brim. Sorry, okay. I just don't like it when things have got a different name. Casters. No, so casters is like the wheels, also a sugar and also an oil.

Got you. Just a certain like, you're just on casters, which is completely filled with the brain with rubbish bags. There are seven floors above my floor, so he'd just been doing the rounds. I noticed that he had his clean as gloves on, and my fucked up brain immediately thought I wonder what they would taste like. Rosie and would I eat was my second thought, and would Rosie eat was my second thought?

He has the scenario. It's September. Already, you know, I can't do bins. Will you listen? I can't do bins. It might not be about bins. Do you know if I'm driving behind a wheel? Wheelie bin, what they're called? The bins. No, they're a wheelie bin. When someone's put a mortar in a wheelie bin in the drive. The laurie spans the bin lauries. I have to put over or go a different route. I cannot drive behind a bin laurie because all that bin sauce juice air comes in through me car. It really absences. I hold new breath when I walk past oven bins. No, I can't.

Already, don't even finish. It's a no. It is a solid concrete. I'm not eating it if it's got anything to do with a bin. Oh, I've been sourced juice air. The three stages of bins, source juice and air. Here is the scenario. Here is the scenario. It's September 2020. You're back in the thick of COVID. You're in lockdown. Chris is 2022 has been cancelled. Bracket, sorry for the reminder, Chris. Thanks. The kids have been home every single bastard day since March and there has been a complete coffee shortage.

Oh god, I was already depressed, okay. Rosie, you haven't had a coffee since the day the kids stopped school slash nursery. However, you've just been offered the only coffee in all of England. You are very lucky in all the scenarios. People are giving you the last of the things. You are well liked. I am on that in these scenarios. They love me. The only catch is you have to drink it out of this clean as used glove.

It is tied at the top and the only hole is poked in one of the fingers and you have to suck it like a calf at his mother's teeth. No. No. No. Flat out. Flat out no. Finns can't know. I would rather drink its tree in threes under way.

Wow. And I don't even know the man, but I can't deal with bins. That is... Why is everything like the end of... Why is it always the last thing? So I'm just checking out that is against the rules and family. Really? Gone. So thanks for that. That was Woodrow's Eat. It's awesome that one. I keep doing it forever. Baba doo baba doo baba doo baba.

It's time for what you be. What you be. What you be. Hey, we are going to be bastard. Oh, he's back. Oh, nice. Is that Barry? Oh, did I? No, no, no, no. She got too excited. You put your people. He's two more mighty people loving people here. And I can't, and I can't deal with it. I can't deal with the stress of it. Honestly, bringing back for the 300th episode, just for a bit quick chat just to check in and see what he's been up to. Okay. Right. I will. I will. So look forward to you guys. There it is. Um.

Why do you hate hot water bottles? Why do I hate hot water bottles? What have you got against hot water bottles? This is a beef. This is my beef with you because I'm really sick and tired of you constantly rolling your eyes, kicking off at me for using a hot water bottle. You hate it?

All the boiler taps so it's not like I have to wait for a kettlebell all falls under the umbrella of you just constantly being called which is annoying in itself, right? And whenever it's quite normally quite warm and you're like, oh, he's in there. Oh, fuck sake. And, um, I also have to film them. Oh, you've got something. I've got a lot of pressure.

Magpie right outside the window for him. Um, you've got low fucking whatever I have. Do you know what I've got? I've got low tolerance. What one Magpie outside? Yes, one for sorrow. Oh, for fuck's sake. What? I need to go and look at another find another one. I can't just look at that one twice. Idiot. Right. Oh, for fuck's sake. She's going to window to look for another Magpie.

If you're not windowing at a taxi, I'll be so happy. Great, just hanging out the window, trying to look for another mad pie. You know what she's going to do in a minute? She's going to win jealous cold in here, because she's on the fucking window.

Radiot is on by the way and it all just falls under the umbrella of you just being constantly called and then I've got it's not that I've got anything against hot water bottles It's that I've got to fill up the hot water bottles and there's so many of them and the new one you've got very rarely fill it up I'm not being funny that new one you've got which is an old one but a new one you've just started using it I kind of carry the fuck I once I've put it you can't actually touch it what it's so hot because I am very hard and I don't use a cover

Mine was still warm this morning when i woke up pathetic either way right i have to do it and once actually yeah once you made us fill one up for you and the bottom bloody came out in the sink it wasn't boiling hot water coming out yeah and i thought oh yeah i find rock yeah while i was filling it in the sink i find them dangerous yeah i find them unnecessary and i find them antiquated and old and i don't like it

I find them delicious. Do you know my mom? He has a fact. Do you know me? Mom uses a hot water bottle every single night of her life. Yeah. Even in the summer. She has to have it in her bed and then she kicks it out. And she thinks she hasn't got ADHD and I find it mad that she won't admit that she's got some mental health problems. She has to have a hot water bottle every single night of her life. That's nuts. So she just kicks out and then wind just about being too hot in the summer. Yeah. I'm going to ask her.

Hi Mum, Mum. Do you know if it was 22 degrees outside in August? At all? In a horn? Yeah. Would you use a hot water bottle? Yeah. Was it, you know me? Is it every single night? It is, but when it's quite a kick it out, it's kind of nice. Oh, I just feel like I'm full of wear, why not? It's not at the plan of staying.

I'm just I'm just telling Chris. I'm just telling Chris about it. There's every single night you disgraceful

Not in the summer, just in the winter. It is, honestly, I think it's the initial getting in. Because even in the summer, I always feel like I need that little blast of warmth. Yeah, ma'am, listen, it's your life. You can do whatever you want. All right? Exactly. All right. Okay. Are you okay? I'm fine, yeah. Yes, you are getting the kids from school. Thank you. Love you, love you. Love you, love you. I'm doing the podcast. I'm not just ringing it. Ask her.

It's how bad our life is, you think I'm literally just ringing your ass, yeah. Oh my God. That's all right. Love you. Bye. Oh, I just just fill up a hot water bottle and then just choose all our boiling water, like electricity, um, you know, all that carbon footprint and then just kick it out. I still feel like I'm on a hot night and I just kick it out every night. Oh, I know. Brilliant. Eleven, eleven. Um, so listen, my beef with you stems from all of this bullshit, uh, two nights ago,

Um, hang on, what was it? Does it, Mundy? Chris? Does to me? Chris, I need a hot water bottle in the bed. Chris, it's freezing. Chris, the upstairs heating. Chris, the upstairs heating isn't coming on. It's freezing. You need to get a plumb out, come round and sort out Chris's freezing. Rosie, I will, he's going to come tomorrow. Chris, is he definitely going to do? Because it's freezing. Chris is freezing. He's definitely going to come because it's freezing. Yes, Rosie's coming tomorrow, no problem. Right, good, because it's freezing. Chris, I've had two water bottles to your water bottles to sell the teapot. Water bottles are on my body like the fucking hot water bottle, Michelin man.

I'm freezing Chris as he's definitely coming tomorrow. He's definitely coming tomorrow. What happened tomorrow? What happened the next day? He turned up. I said the plumbers here. You said Why didn't you tell me the plumber was coming Chris? Why don't you tell us the plumber was coming? The bed's not made. He's gonna think we're living a shit all

Told you Rosie, told you last night when you were berateness, told you three times at least during your, during your fucking, during your absolute tirade about horrible, totally I was coming. Rosie, I did. You didn't? You didn't? Rosie, I did. Remember, you were in the bath and I said it to you. Then what did you do? You paused for a second and you said the most arrogant, ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say and there's a fucking list of them. You paused and went, oh, you did tell us last night, but you have to tell us again in the morning.

You have to tell us again on the day, right? You. You. You. Because, Chris, because I forgot you're a prick. I needed a reminder. Unbelievable. It was a one day I hadn't made the bed. The one day, I just think it's something... Plumber, if you're listening. If fucking wasn't, by the way. If fucking was. If fucking wasn't, by the way. I don't, don't, because I had to really irritate. Oh, I used to oil you.

You're swapping this out. Are you trying to look at it? You're trying to make the fight about this now? No, no, don't take that back because I do make the bed. She makes it bad. I bloody do. I think it's really nice to make a bit. Unbelievable. I was just annoyed. I hadn't done that too. Then he came in into the fully in the house. Why didn't you tell us? I did tell you. Well, why didn't you tell us again? Because I'm a fucking unreasonable piece of shit.

And if I'd said, if I'd said, if I'd said, so this is how I would have gone if it was me. Rosie, why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell us that diploma was coming? I hadn't made the bed. Chris, I did. I told her last night. Oh, sorry, love. Oh, yeah, you did. Apologies. Apologies. That's what I would say. I wouldn't go. Oh, sorry. I'll tell you what, because, because, you know what would happen. What would happen if I went, right? Well, love, you have to tell us again on the morning, right?

You would go out of my life now! Is that my life? I just have to constantly tell you stuff! Because you forget stuff! It's not my fault you forget stuff! It's like I'm with a child! You're gaslighting me! Honestly! Honestly! I hate being married!

I hate having someone to answer them. I got really jealous of the day I was talking to my mom and my sister who were both not married. Didn't know I just talking about how easy the life is and how carefree they are and I thought you, I'm so jealous! Sorry the two divorces! Yes, genuinely they were like don't have anyone to answer to and I thought ugh come on cheers mate, haven't the bloody talk to you. I thought the burglar rhomb guards off in the middle of the night say I want the hammer.

It was horrible, Rosie. It was terrifying. I can't believe it. They ring you. But we're not just really enjoying your time alone. None of them answered everyone. No, it was horrible. I hated it. Someone ring a plumber quick. Make sure you tell us on the morning. He's coming though. You're a fucking nightmare all three. Baba do Baba do Baba do Baba do Baba. It's time for questions from the...

public as always if you like it in touch at shagmarynoid at gmail dot com with their talks on that so much so i haven't got many i'm afraid it's crack on and all what i've actually been leaving something for this section all i was out with me mates the night and one of them got a text in the group text and he just turned lentils he went look what gaza's just sent in the group text and he just i can't just read you this text that you're not in the group text no i'm not in the group text such a

No, no. I get the highlights. I get the highlights. How have you got me? Chris just leaves group chat, you know, and they're still friends with them. I don't get it. I mean, like three stag do group chats and I've just muted them. I'm not having all of them. If I left a group chat, there would be a full other group chat. It's like I may offer leaving the group chat. Well, they're stupid and they're not efficient because they could just do it in that one because you've left it. Right. Oh, yeah. Idiot. Um, so you got a text while we're having a curry and he lent over and he showed us the text and all it said was,

Someone had an overdose in the woody, the woodies a pub. Someone had an overdose in the woody last night. Our kid rang the ambulance and when they searched her back to see what she had took, it was full of crab legs under dildo. Why? Why? Why's it got a crab legs in it? Literally all it said. That's all it said.

Why have you never moved to London? This is why. This is why we've never left the norm. Oh, God. Crab legs in a dildo. Crab legs in a dildo. Keeping it not like crab legs where we live are a delicacy. So I imagine the fish guy had been around earlier on in the day into that ball. Oh, do you think? Yeah, the fish guy in the pub. So she probably wasn't even probably she'd probably just saw an oldie bender. But yeah, unbelievable. Crab legs in a dildo. I mean, I hope she's OK genuinely. Yeah, I'm sure she's fine. Crab legs in a dildo. Got for her.

Hell of a night out. Speaking of fish. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Hope you both well. Second time emailer. The first email that they sent was about the man who was looking for the anal deodorant. I don't remember this, but that's amazing. I don't know on tour, was it on this? It was somebody working in a pharmacy and they were looking for anal deodorant. And the lady was like, I don't think it is anal deodorant. We've never heard of it. And the man was like, it is man, I've got it all the time.

He went somewhere else and said, I bought it. And because they said, when you get it, can you let me know? Because we might need to stop it. I didn't know it was a thing, bloody, bloody, bloody. And the guy brought it back. And it was sort of like a Mitchum or a Shua. And it basically said on it, push up bottom.

That was the read-on to you. Sorry guys. Oh, good. Anyway, so this is the whole boys ass. Hey, I tell you, I pissed I got on the tour. I can't remember that problem. There's loads of them that I can't remember. And so this is a different one. Because we had a different one every night on tour guys just to let you know. We had different questions. Reviewers didn't believe it. That was fun reading the reviews. They claim it's different every night. Fucking was prick.

tell my mental health level that it wasn't different every night because uh

Yeah. Right. Listen, this person sent in an ick, but a public ick. And do you know what it is? I've seen this before as well. Public ick. You would think this would be quite one-off, but I have also seen this. When I read it, I was like, I can't believe someone else has experienced this. On my way home from work, I have to drive by our local chippy. I stopped and let a guy cross the road, and it's only when he started to cross. Did I see it? Right. He was eating a full-on, bad-eyed fish like you would a trick-and-drum stick.

No box or paper just holding it in his fist taking bites.

Chris, I've seen that as well. I've seen that with my own eyes. So this is one of my things. So I'm now like really, really uncomfortable. The Greece. It's the Greece. I'm really, really uncomfortable with the idea of it. It's the same reason I can't watch. I've mentioned it before, the scene in Gavin and Stacy where Nessa and Smithie get together and they're rubbing KFC all over each other. I've never watched that scene. It starts and I've seen Gavin and Stacy a few times all the way through. They're not rubbing it on each other. They're just eating KFC. No, but then they start shagging. They get together.

Can't watch it. Yeah, but it's on the face and I can't watch it when there's grease or food on your hands and face Look how come flying now. I'm sitting in a little ball. Yeah, what holding a bad card I've seen it before you should have just you should have slammed your foot down and put my bees misery fucking pig

Yeah, I don't really mean that. But horrible. It's upset me a lot. So yeah, I would. I would eat that. But then I'm thinking the greasy fish had hit your windscreen and your windscreen matters wouldn't get that off. All I would love to go fish and chips for lunch. No. Just think about it. What are you doing in two days time? What? I'm at TV. I'm filming a TV pilot and you'll go, I shouldn't have had the fish and chips. I hate my life. I hate my life. Let's get some after the pilot. Right. Great. I can't wait. Here we go.

Jumping on the bandwagon of baby Colin and 12 year old Keith. Yes. My husband and I accidentally gaslit our three year old for almost an entire year. Tell her she must have missed her. Her nursery friends name because no one would name their child that in this day and age. This is until the key workers list came out and we saw very clearly in black and white Sharon. Excellent.

Little baby Sharon. Excellent. Do you know what it is though? They've got a bit of comeback at some point. Yeah. And you know what it is? You've got to be the one bold enough to me at that choice and go. Yeah. And there might be someone very special in your life who you are going your name after. Well, if three year old, you three year old, you are three year old Sharon. Yeah. If we were going to have a girl, I would have called her Bridget Rose. Yeah. After me, Nana. Yeah. And Rose just because

Stick about you in there. Why not? No, Christine. Sorry. Christine. Who's Christine? Me. Oh, Christine. No. No, but it's not funny. I feel like you could get away with British.

Yeah, well, I feel, because it's gone too far. It's like an older, older. Yeah. Everyone called Sharon now is probably in the 40s and 50s. Once they get to the 80s, it comes back round on the merry-go-round. Yeah, OK. Generation game comes back through on the thing, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. OK, then. Interesting. We'll probably not live to say that. There's going to be loads of people's nanas called Aria in about 50 years. Yeah, in heavenly around. Or in your corner of Nanarria's house. I love it. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo.

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shagami Road, which is part of the ACAS Create Network. Thank you very much. If you want to get in touch with anything, shagami.org at gmail.com. We'll be back in the years next week. Thanks guys. Bye.