My spoiled, entitled brother throws an absolute fit when he finds out I bought a house before him. And now he's demanding that I allow him to move into my house, claiming that he has a rightful spot in my house simply because he's my brother. And I'm honestly so exhausted dealing with my brother that I'm now at a crossroads and I seriously don't know what to do. Here's what happened. Okay, so I suddenly became a homeowner some time ago because a friend of mine's grandfather was moving to Florida and his house was right for the picking.
I knew the old man really well, as he passed away a few months later from a sudden stroke. Anyways, he offered the house and property to me for $200,000, and I practically ran to the bank to apply for the loan. The house is a manufactured house from the 80s, but it was remodeled repeatedly by the former owner and has a separate garage building. The home and property could have gone for more, but he offered the house to me because he knew I would take care of it.
I had $30,000 save that made a good down payment, and I was very happy to leave my apartment. I mean, I wanted to move out of there eventually anyways, especially after what my cheating ex did, but that's a story for another time. So, when my brother found out that I bought a house, he went absolutely bonkers. For reference, my brother has a repeated history of copycatting me for the past decade. But when it comes to this, there was no way in the world he could copycat buying a house, especially with his terrible credit and his inconsistent income.
And it's then that he got into an argument with me over how I was just trying to make him look bad by doing something that he couldn't, but that really is not the case. I literally just wanted the stupid house, and the price was too good to refuse. Then he told me I should have turned it down, but he literally had no good reason. I mean, I could practically see the screws getting looser with every single dumb excuse he made as to why I shouldn't have done it.
But I pointed out that all of those excuses were just there because I did something that he currently can't. And when I bought this house, it had nothing to do with him. I just wanted to be a homeowner for the security and the extra space. And I finally don't have to store my camper at my parents' house, along with that garage that I can store stuff in and tinker in. Now he's been copying me over so many stupid things. For example, if I bought a camper cot, he would buy the same thing. If I went to the gym, then he would go to the gym.
If I bought a truck or alcohol or a TV, or if I bought a camper, or a used portable DVD player, or if I went camping in a specific spot, he would literally do the exact same thing across the board. It literally didn't matter what I was doing, he was always tagging along. I mean, he acts like a complete child on so many things. Well, after weeks of openly fuming about me being a homeowner, my brother suddenly acted like he had another brilliant idea. He wanted to move in with me, and when he said that, I just laughed at him.
He then ended up demanding that I rent one of my rooms to him. And the really funny part is that he only wanted to do it for $200 a month, with utilities included, because he shouldn't have to pay any more than that since we're family. Well, he flipped his lid when I said absolutely not. Then he got our parents involved again, although this time they actually sided with him first, even though it was mainly our mother. She and my brothers showed up to my house, demanding that I let my brother move in.
and my brother had this awful grin on his face that I could tell he thought he was getting his way, all thanks to mommy dearest, but I literally screamed no to both of their faces. My mom started to cry and said that I was being a jerk, so I called my dad and he told my mom that he had warned her that I wouldn't do it and that they need to leave me alone.
My mom whined that my brother was living out of his camper next to a shabby house that he was renting space from. But I said that wasn't my problem to fix. And my brother, by the way, has proven countless times that he cannot be trusted. My brother was fuming to the point of being red with veins popping out of his neck.
and my mom tried one more time to convince me with tears, but that just made me even angrier. I then went on a rant that was something like this. So you can't buy a house, but you wanted to invade mine? I refused to ever live with my brother again. I would sooner live in the woods without electricity than ever live with him. He's intentionally irritating, and if I had him as a roommate, I'd just know that he would steal my booze, he would take all my stuff, and invade my privacy non-stop. That is not going to happen.
and I do not care how much mom is gonna cry. That is not gonna work on me. Well, when I said that, my mom broke down and finally conceded that she was never going to convince me to allow my brother to move in. She even had to take my brother by the hand and leave my property with him because he initially refused to go and kept begging her to turn back and make me let him move in. I then yelled at him that it was hilarious that he called me a mama's boy before.
because he had become exactly that, and that this was just like one time when he tried to get our mother to make me trade vehicles with him, all because he felt ashamed to be driving a minivan. My brother then yanked away from Mom, and then started swearing at me. Eventually, after some back and forth between the two of us, my mom got in front of him and told him to just go. Then he drove off in his rattle can Silverado without her, which by the way, he had driven her there, so then I had to take her home.
While taking my mom home, I made things very clear with my mother over why I could never trust my brother ever again and how his life was not my burden to bear. I then told her how little my brother was offering for rent anyways, which is something he conveniently had not told her. Now fast forward and I later rented that same room to one of my best friends for $600 a month and he pays for his own utilities.
The other two rooms are my bedroom and a home office. And there's an extra room in the separate garage as well. And wouldn't you guess it, my mother tried to make me let my brother live in the garage instead. She says there's enough room in the storage room for a bedroom. But again, I said absolutely not. But simply out of spite, that has been turned into another friend's rented room as I just remodeled it with some plywood. And yeah, I rented them out of spite. And that's because I didn't want my brother to live with me in any capacity.
My brother later ended up having a complete meltdown in front of our parents over how he's the older brother. He should be the one who owns a house first. He's supposed to be successful, and I'm supposed to be the big loser in his shadow. Our dad then poked him with his cane and told him that this is not how life works, resulting in a massive argument.
They told him to get out and not come back until he's cooled off, learning right then and there that he's just being pointlessly jealous. But I'm honestly so sick of my brother, and I seriously hope I don't have to deal with him in this way ever again. Wow, your brother sounds absolutely pathetic. Who would show up to their siblings house and be like, no, I want to move in. You have to let me move in. I demand it. Like, what the original poster is describing is really, really sad. Like, who in the right mind would act this way? Like, seriously.
So truly, good for you for standing your ground and telling pretty much everybody to get lost, because the original poster's brother sounds absolutely unhinged. If you like Am I the Jerk, you're probably going to love Am I the Genius. Check it out, link down below in the description.
Go to amithejerk.com slash submit if you would like to submit your own stories. My extended family is furious with me and is claiming that I stole a family name that my grandmother offered me, claiming that I had no right to use it since I'm not a blood related family member. And now, despite my grandparents and my father defending my good name, my entire extended family is against me. And at this point, I seriously don't know what to do. Here's what happened.
Okay, to start things out, my dad is not my biological dad, but he's raised me since I was 7 months old. My biological father was in and out of my life, and he was not good to me at all. I never really wanted him around, but I had such a good relationship with my dad. I knew love and family with my parents over the guy who just wanted to mess with my mom, and just wanted to stop me from being adopted.
and would never show me any kind of interest as his own flesh and blood. Now I have younger siblings from my parents. My dad has siblings, nieces and nephews, and both of his parents are alive, and I'm so close to his parents. My grandparents never saw me as less than their grandchild, meaning that blood and legality never mattered to them. I was one of theirs, and they were my granny and grampy, and the name grampy was born from my inability to say grandpa as a really little kid for some reason.
Well, fast forward and I got married to my amazing wife and my wife and I are now expecting a baby girl. My grandma approached us and said that she wanted to make it clear that if we wanted to, and there was no pressure from them, we could consider using the family girl name for our daughter. It's a name usually used in the middle name, but every few generations, it gets used as a first name and usually goes for the first granddaughter. My wife and I love the idea and we love the name.
So we decided to use it as a first name, which made my grandma so happy and my dad actually cried when he heard it. But the other members of my extended family were not so pleased, and I was accused of stealing the name from the legitimate first granddaughter, which is the one who would be blood, and I was apparently stealing it from my cousins, who should have been first in priority to use the name.
Well, my grandparents and my dad came to my defense, and they said that my daughter and I are legitimate members of this family, so I didn't steal anything. My grandma even said that she offered it to me, but my extended family said that I should have had common sense and the compassion to understand that I'm not actually a blood member of the family, and that neither is my daughter.
Well, because of that, a fight broke out over all of this. And I know that most of the extended family firmly blame me for agreeing to use the name. So honestly, am I the jerk for listening to my grandma and taking the name that they offered me? Because at this point, I seriously don't know what to do.
Just keep it simple. Just say, hey, we're the Bravo bros. Two guys that talk about Bravo. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're the Bravo bro. No. Dude, stop with the voice. Just keep it simple. I've seen promos on TV do this is how you get the fans and engage. This is how you get listeners. We're trying to get listeners here. If we just say, oh, we're two dudes that talk about Bravo. People are getting tired of it already. We need some oomph. All right, then fine. Let's try to do it with your voice. Bravo bros. Good job.
No, of course you are not the jerk. Your grandmother offered you the name. Like, literally, why on earth would they be upset over the grandmother making a decision? Like, what is wrong with these people? That is so weird to me. And the fact that they're trying to be like, oh, you're not really a member of the family because you're not blood related. It's like, oh, okay, now I really know how you feel about me.
Apparently, all these years beforehand were just a complete act, because right now your true colors are showing quite clearly. Like, that's insane to me and that is so unacceptable. So no, you are definitely not the jerk, you didn't do anything wrong, and the fact that your extended family is acting this way and trying to blame you, in my opinion, is completely toxic and so uncalled for.
Am I the jerk for being upset about the pay I received after I was a DJ for my friend's wedding. Because right now my friend has blocked me and we're not even talking anymore. And at this point I really don't know what to do. Okay so I'm a 21 year old female and I had been friends with this girl who's also 21 for about 2 years and we were decently close. She was getting married and she asked me if I would be her DJ for her wedding. Now I am a hardcore music head and I am a great playlist maker but I've never DJ'd before.
I agreed to do it, but I wasn't thrilled that I wouldn't get to enjoy her wedding fully. She said that she would pay me for my service which I thought, okay, fair enough. But because she is my friend, I didn't discuss actual pricing because I just assumed that she would pay me fairly. I brought my own equipment as well as my friend's equipment to make a full setup, and I needed two setups since one of them would be for the ceremony and the other one would be for the reception.
She pre-made a list of songs that she wanted while people were eating at the reception and made sure to tell me that I can't deviate from it at all. She was very restrictive of what I could play for dancing because she wanted no rap or hip-hop or even any country music. I mean, I had to send her the pop songs in advance just to see if she approved of them and even still, people weren't dancing to the music that she chose. So, I went out to the dance floor for the cha-cha slide. I knew how long the song was and I only danced for the first minute and I got everybody involved in dancing.
Then my friend's speaker set up malfunctioned and the music cut while I was on the dance floor. The bride cut her eyes at me and said in the most bride's ill atone, why is the DJ on the dance floor? And she said this in front of everyone. And right at that moment, I felt so small. I did end up fixing the problem, but the issue was something out of my control. And it would have happened anyways. Also, the song The Wobble was heavily requested by everybody there, to which I had to keep saying no because she told me that I couldn't. Now, I let the bride know that this was being heavily requested.
But she said to me, if you play that song, you won't be getting paid. So I said to myself, cool, we're not gonna play the wobble. By the end of the wedding, I was upset because of the way she treated me. And the fact that I was stuck behind the DJ booth the entire wedding by myself directly in the hot sun without shade for four hours straight. And you know what? She rode off into the sunset without paying me. And then I got a message from her after her honeymoon saying that she has my money when she got back. And you know what she gave me? She gave me a gift card with $15 on it. And after that,
was pissed off. She told me she didn't have a lot of money after paying her photographer friend $1,000 and paying for her other wedding things. Also, I was told that this was never supposed to be a payment but a gift of appreciation and that as her friend I should have done it for free, that she saw this as an opportunity to start my DJ career and that I should be grateful for the experience.
When I confronted her about this, I was told that I was a bad friend for ruining her wedding day, because when she thinks about her wedding now, it will remind her of how she'd lost a friend. She then gave me $75 and unfriended me on everything. And now we don't even talk anymore. So seriously, was I the jerk for complaining about my pay? Because right now, I seriously don't know what to do.
No, I don't think you're the jerk at all. She mistreated you at this wedding. She was so aggressive towards you the entire time. And then she has the gall to be like, oh, I was trying to help you start your career. You should be grateful for the exposure. If you were a good friend, you would do it for free. It's like, what are you talking about? That is insane. Like, where did she even get this idea that you're trying to be a DJ? Like, if anything, she's only saying that to try and guilt trip you for even saying that you want to get paid for your time. Like, the money issue should have been worked out far in advance.
which is a mistake I think you won't be making twice after this, but for her to basically be like, oh yeah, you should do it for free, especially after the way she treated you. That is insane in my opinion, and there's just no good excuse for that. So no, you are definitely not the jerk because your friend treated you like garbage, and that in my opinion is absolutely unacceptable.
Am I the jerk for leaving dinner early? All because my sister was over an hour late once again. Here's what happened. I'm a 27 year old female and I had plans to go out to dinner with my sister since this is something that we do every single month. She lives in my hometown and I live in the next state over with my boyfriend.
We are about 35 minutes to an hour apart depending on traffic, but we agreed to meet closer to the hometown with my mom. Now, when it comes to my sister, she is always late. I expect she'll always be at least 30 minutes late, but it's even been up to a few hours, and not just random plans. I'm talking like weddings and graduations too. It's been brought up in the past by my mom and I, but she always brushes it off and gets upset.
My boyfriend drove me over, as I can't drive, and he offered to drop me off before he headed out for plans of his own near the house, and then he would come back when he was done, and I assumed that after dinner we would just hang out at her house either way. I get to the place and I start calling my sister. I get my mom a few minutes later, and she says they're behind, because it took a while to get my one-year-old nephew ready, and my sister got in the shower later than expected. I didn't even know my nephew was coming, and she usually tells me if he is.
Her husband was apparently there to let Mom in when she showed up, but went back to sleep as soon as she got there. Now, I'm not sure why he couldn't get the baby ready, but that's none of my business. I check maps and it says 35 minutes, and if you add in getting the baby strapped and secured, and then putting him in either the stroller or the front carrier on her body, I was looking at maybe 40 minutes.
And to top it all off, we had a reservation that she made, not me. I had never been to this place, and I didn't know if it was one of those places that don't let you have the table if your whole group isn't there. There was really no space to wait inside, so I would have to stand outside and wait for her. But anyways, I didn't feel like sitting alone for 40 minutes, even if I could. Now, she doesn't keep her friends waiting this long when they make plans.
and I don't get why it's okay to do this to me and my mom. Now, I'm speaking to mom as they're trying to change the reservation online, but at that point, I'm just fed up. If we agreed to be there at a certain time, be there at that time. Five or ten minutes late is fine, but not this. I told my mom that I'm going back home. I didn't feel like fuming at the table and acting like I wasn't mad when they got there, which is something that I've had to do several times before.
When I said this, she sounded hurt and mad, but said that it was fine and that she would go home as well. Since then, I haven't spoken to my sister, and this was a few weeks ago, and my mom doesn't want to get in the middle of it, but I told her I wasn't speaking to her until I get an apology. My mom told her that she can't keep doing this on the ride back home, and she agrees that it's an issue, but won't say anything else. It's ridiculous to just always be late because you're bad at time management.
She also wants to use the excuse of, oh, but it takes so long to get the baby ready, which I would accept if it wasn't for the fact that this has been a problem long before my nephew was even born. So I really need to know if I'm the jerk for leaving early, because right now I'm still upset and I don't know what to do.
It really sounds like your sister is doing this almost on purpose or she just literally doesn't care about your time. And both situations in my opinion are not good because I am right there with the original poster. If we are scheduled to be somewhere, you had better show up. If you're showing up almost an hour late, that shows to me immediately that you don't care about me and you definitely don't care about any kind of commitments of any kind. So I don't blame you for getting up and going home like I wouldn't want to stay there for an hour.
And I think like 5 or 10 minutes late is not a big deal, but to consistently be almost an hour late every single time you do anything together, that in my opinion is completely unacceptable, and I think the fault absolutely falls on the sister. My boyfriend is stressing me out beyond belief, as he claims that I don't actually care about his situation, where he is grieving the loss of his uncle.
But despite the fact that I have a lot of things going wrong in my own life, my boyfriend is demanding that I drop everything that's going on around me and only focus on him in his time of need. And right now I feel very overwhelmed and I simply don't know what to do. Here's what happened. Okay, to start things out, my boyfriend's uncle passed away this week after a long battle with cancer and his family is in complete disarray. It was his father's brother and his dad is really broken right now.
I'm having a hard time at home as well, as my mother's electricity has been cut off for a $4,500 bill that we just can't afford. My mother is on disability and that is her only income. I also have a part-time job which doesn't pay me nearly enough. My mother and I also take care of my niece, who is my sister's daughter. We do this because she is almost a deadbeat and couldn't care less if the child has ever eaten or even taken a bath.
We also watch over my 80 year old grandmother who lives with us, so I also have problems at home making it hard for me to be there for him right now. When his uncle passed away, I left work just to be there for him and his family, and I wanted to make sure I could console him in a time like this. I've done everything I can for him, as I have also went through a close family death when my father died. I stayed at his house all day, consoling and helping.
But I am a grown woman with obligations and responsibilities, too. I also have a life. And eventually, I had to go home to check on my household as I'm like the man of the house. My mother, my niece, and my grandmother have no one but me. I do everything that they can't get done, and I take care of them since my father passed.
I have to be there and I can't spend all my time with him. I had to leave his house to take my niece to her dad's house and then drive my mom to the local welfare to help her with paperwork just so she can get her electric bill paid off. He makes me feel as if I don't care because I had to leave to help my own family and I can tell he's mad at me by the way he acted when I told him I have to leave. He says to me that he doesn't want me to leave and that I'm leaving just because I don't want to be around him and the way he said that was just so insensitive to my situation.
He is now being very short with me over text messaging, as well as taking long periods to respond, and overall being vague towards me when I'm trying to be loving and comforting, and I just don't understand him. For reference, this also happened three weeks ago when his dad was having surgery and had some minor complications, and he was just freaking out over it. I was at home with my niece with no one else, as my mother was also out of the store. My niece was throwing up profusely as she had caught the stomach bug.
I couldn't just leave her there because she's seven years old, and my grandmother can't watch her anymore. So, when I finally made it to his house afterwards, he was so mad at me for not dropping everything and coming to his aid, but I physically and morally couldn't do it at the time. It wasn't my fault, I mean my baby was sick. I wasn't leaving her to go comfort a grown man who has family around him. When I'm like that, you need to drop everything from me. I would do it for you. You need to come to me. I need you when things like that happen.
And still, when I explained to him the reason why it couldn't come right away, he still said that he didn't care. I feel as though he relies on me for all of his happiness and healing, but I am just one person. I can't help him all the time. He's been acting like my problems and issues just don't really matter, and it's really adding so much stress to my already stressful life. So seriously, am I being gaslit or manipulated, or am I just not doing enough for him?
What should I do? I think this really is a catch 22. Because on one end, I think obviously you're not doing anything wrong. Like you're showing up as much as you can and you're being there for him. But the way he's reacting is just not fair. Like I totally understand he's going through the grieving process. And his uncle probably meant a lot to him. But it's almost like he's taking that out on you. And that in my opinion is completely unfair. You are not the enemy here. You're doing the best you can with your circumstances.
And I think it would be unreasonable for anyone to be there 24-7. And just because you can't be there all day every day doesn't mean that you don't care about him and that you're not there for him. So in my opinion, I think his expectations for you are just completely out of line. I think the way he's acting is completely unreasonable, and in my opinion,
I don't think you've done anything wrong toward this kind of behavior. When you subscribe, make sure to hit the bell to turn on notifications. To finish listening to all the stories, check out the playlist at the top of the description. And if you want some chill music to put on in the background, check out easymode.com. If you like Am I the Jerk, subscribe to Am I the Genius. Everything will be linked down below in the description.
