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    E156: Tony Bellew: Nothing Made Me Happy Until I Found This

    enJune 30, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • The Power of Environment in Shaping IdentityOur environment shapes who we become and influences our beliefs, values, and choices. We can adapt and find support in challenging situations, and learn from the experiences of others in different environments.

      Our environment can play a significant role in shaping who we become. Tony Bellew emphasizes that he is a product of his environment and attributes his love for fighting to the environment he grew up in. Despite facing challenges like his father leaving and his mother's heartbreak, Bellew learned to adapt and found support from his friends, who became like family to him. He also mentions that witnessing his father's infidelity has made him determined to avoid making the same mistakes. Additionally, Bellew points out that discovering his brother's sexuality was a pivotal moment for him, as it allowed him to see how individuals adapt and thrive in their respective environments. Our environment has the power to influence and shape our beliefs, values, and life choices.

    • Defending Family and Overcoming Societal ExpectationsTony Bellew's experiences highlight the importance of standing up for loved ones and embracing diversity, regardless of societal norms, to become a stronger and more compassionate individual.

      Tony Bellew has had to defend his brother numerous times due to his brother being gay and facing bullying and threats. Bellew has gone to great lengths, even engaging in physical altercations, to protect his brother and ensure his safety. Bellew's experiences highlight the challenges faced by individuals who don't conform to societal expectations, particularly within the context of race and sexual orientation. He also shares his own experiences of feeling caught between two communities, not fully belonging to either the white or black community. However, Bellew's focus remains on being a decent person and doing the right thing, regardless of race or background. These experiences have shaped Bellew into the strong and protective person he is today.

    • Overcoming Racism: Personal Stories and Lessons from Tony Bellew and Steven BartlettStand up against racism and treat everyone with respect, regardless of their background or occupation. Address and combat racism in society.

      Both Tony Bellew and Steven Bartlett have experienced racism in their lives. Steven recounts how his mother, who is black, faced discrimination and racist acts when they moved to a predominantly white area. He shares how he himself encountered racism in school, even though he didn't fully understand what it meant at first. Tony, who is also mixed race, talks about building a protective wall around himself to avoid racist comments and jokes. He mentions how he would immediately disclose his racial background to prevent such remarks. They both emphasize the importance of standing up against racism and treating everyone with respect, regardless of their background or occupation. The conversation highlights the need to address and combat racism in society.

    • Tony Bellew's Journey to Boxing SuccessTony Bellew's desire to make his father proud led him to discover his talent for boxing and work hard to achieve success in the sport, influenced by his father's teachings.

      Tony Bellew had a strong desire to impress his father and follow in his footsteps. Tony idolized his dad and admired his toughness and success in owning a nightclub security company. Despite the challenges and troubles his father faced, Tony wanted to prove himself and make his father proud. Initially, he wanted to pursue football but discovered his talent for boxing and became passionate about it. Tony believed that hard work would lead to success, and boxing gave him the opportunity to showcase his skills in a way that football couldn't. His father's influence and teachings played a significant role in Tony's journey as a professional boxer.

    • A Father's Influence on Tony Bellew's Boxing Career and Moral CompassTony Bellew's father taught him the correct way to throw a punch and instilled in him the importance of making good choices to avoid the consequences of ending up in jail.

      Tony Bellew learned the correct way to throw a punch from his father at a young age, which led him to become interested in boxing. Despite not fully understanding the significance at the time, Bellew was inspired by his father's pride and praise for his boxing skills. However, Bellew's admiration for his father was tested when he found out that his father had been jailed for seeking revenge on someone who stole money. This experience taught Bellew a powerful lesson about the consequences of making poor choices and the importance of staying out of trouble. His father's advice to never come to jail resonated with Bellew, influencing his decision-making and steering him away from potential trouble throughout his life. This valuable lesson continues to guide Bellew as he sees firsthand the negative impact of jail on his friends.

    • From Street Life to Success: Tony Bellew's JourneyHard work and making the right choices can lead to success, no matter how challenging the upbringing or limited the opportunities may be.

      Tony Bellew had a challenging upbringing, growing up in a tough area with limited opportunities. He was expelled from school and felt drawn towards the street life because he saw no other way to earn a living. His desire for nice things, like a gold chain, drove him to make choices that could have led him down the wrong path. However, he managed to turn his life around and achieve success through hard work and doing things the right way. This conversation highlights the importance of not glorifying a life of crime or thinking that it is the only way to acquire what one desires. Instead, it emphasizes the power of personal growth and making the right choices to create a better future.

    • The Impact of Role Models and Opportunities on Young Individuals in Disadvantaged AreasPositive role models and access to opportunities are essential for inspiring and motivating young individuals in deprived areas, helping them break the cycle of deprivation and achieve success in various fields.

      Having positive role models and access to opportunities is crucial for breaking the cycle of deprivation and inspiring young individuals in disadvantaged areas. The speakers, Steven Bartlett and Tony Bellew, both emphasize the lack of role models they had while growing up in their respective neighborhoods. They discuss how their friends from similar backgrounds have achieved great success in various fields, such as becoming professors, journalists, professional footballers, and a world champion fighter. Their personal experiences highlight the importance of exposure to different possibilities and the impact it can have on a person's aspirations and achievements. The conversation underscores the significance of providing guidance and support to young individuals in order to help them overcome the limitations they face.

    • The Profound Impact of a CoachMentors and coaches play a crucial role in shaping and believing in one's potential, highlighting the importance of their guidance and support.

      Tony Bellew had a profound influence on his amateur coach, Tony Bellew. Despite initially doubting Bellew's coaching abilities, Bellew quickly realized the impact he could have on his boxing career. Bellew's coach pushed him to levels of work he had never experienced before and made him believe in himself. Even without receiving praise or credit from his coach, Bellew learned later in life that his coach saw him as a future champion. Losing his coach was the first significant loss in Bellew's life, and he describes grief as the worst feeling in the world. This conversation highlights the importance of mentors and coaches in shaping and believing in one's potential.

    • The Impact of Mentors and Pursuing PassionOvercoming grief and honoring a mentor's belief can fuel determination in pursuing dreams, showcasing the transformative power of passion and the importance of mentors.

      Jimmy, Tony Bellew's late coach, played a significant role in shaping his career as a fighter. Despite Tony feeling devastated by Jimmy's sudden passing, he used his grief as motivation to train even harder and pursue his dreams. Jimmy's belief in Tony's potential was evident when he predicted that Tony would become a future champion, a prediction that Tony fulfilled by winning multiple titles and representing his country in amateur boxing. Tony acknowledges the brutal nature of professional boxing but also recognizes the beauty and camaraderie in the sport, particularly in his amateur boxing days at Ritunda ABC. This conversation highlights the impact of mentors and the transformative power of pursuing one's passion.

    • The Financial Realities of Professional BoxingSuccess in any profession does not always guarantee financial stability, as highlighted by boxer Tony Bellew's struggle despite his accomplishments and popularity.

      Professional boxing does not guarantee financial success, even for highly skilled fighters. Tony Bellew, a successful boxer who had achieved numerous titles, including being a world champion, did not become a millionaire until a fight in 2017. Despite his accomplishments and popularity, Bellew struggled financially. This highlights the financial realities of the boxing industry, where fighters often have to back themselves and believe in their abilities to succeed. Bellew shared how he had to use his earnings to provide for his family and even had to spend all his money on his children's Christmas presents, leaving him with no savings. This conversation reminds us that success in any profession does not always equate to financial stability.

    • Balancing Dreams and Financial StabilityPursuing a dream requires constant dedication and sacrifice, even after achieving success. Financial security may still be far from reach, and the support of loved ones can play a crucial role in decision-making.

      Tony Bellew faced tremendous financial pressure and sacrifices in his boxing career. Despite achieving his dream of becoming a world champion, he realized that financial security was still far from reach. His wife, who initially didn't fully understand the realities of boxing, eventually grasped the physical and mental toll it took on him. She urged him to stop and focus on being a father, but Bellew knew he had to continue fighting to secure a stable future. He targeted David Haye, believing he could defeat him and earn a significant payday. Bellew's story highlights the extreme dedication and sacrifice required to pursue a dream, even after achieving success.

    • Tony Bellew's Journey: From Financial Security to Finding PurposeTony Bellew's boxing career taught him that material wealth is not the ultimate goal in life. He discovered the importance of having a greater purpose and driving force, which he found after retiring from boxing.

      Tony Bellew's boxing career was driven by a desire for success and financial security. He recalls the moment when he took a powerful punch from an opponent and still remained standing, which motivated him to continue fighting. Bellew's determination to face and defeat certain opponents, like David Price, demonstrated his confidence and belief in his abilities. However, Bellew also acknowledges his past selfishness and impulsive behavior, which he now strives to change. Winning the world championship and achieving financial stability made Bellew realize that there was more to life than just money. He learned the importance of having a driving force or purpose beyond material wealth, which he discovered after retiring from boxing.

    • Money, Fulfillment, and the Importance of ValuesTrue fulfillment may not come from financial success alone, but from relationships, personal growth, and the legacy we create. Values and loyalty play a crucial role in finding meaning in our pursuits.

      Money doesn't always bring the fulfillment and satisfaction we expect. Tony Bellew shares his experience of becoming a multimillionaire, but realizing that it didn't fundamentally change his life or who he was as a person. He emphasizes the importance of loyalty and sticking to his values, as he turned down a significant amount of money for the sake of honoring a handshake agreement. This conversation highlights the anti-climactic feeling that can come with achieving financial success and questioning the purpose and meaning behind our pursuits. It reminds us that true fulfillment may lie in other aspects of life, such as relationships, personal growth, and the legacy we leave behind.

    • Understanding and Managing our Chimp Brain for Improved Relationships and LifeBy acknowledging and addressing our impulsive and emotional chimp brain, we can avoid arguments and repetitive behavior cycles, improving ourselves and our relationships. "The Chimp Paradox" provides valuable insights and strategies for emotional control and self-understanding.

      Understanding and managing our chimp brain is crucial for navigating life and improving our relationships. The chimp brain refers to the impulsive, irrational, and emotional part of ourselves that can often cause problems. The book "The Chimp Paradox" by Steve Peters offers valuable insights into our own brain and provides tools for emotional control and self-understanding. By acknowledging and addressing our chimp brain, we can avoid arguments and repetitive cycles of behavior. The book has had a significant impact on people's lives, helping them overcome challenges such as addiction and suicidal thoughts. Reading this book can be transformative and provide us with the knowledge and strategies needed to improve ourselves and our relationships.

    • Coping with Grief and LossThe death of a close friend can have a profound impact on one's emotional well-being, leading to unanswered questions and strained relationships, making it one of the most difficult experiences in life.

      Tony Bellew experienced an immense amount of grief and sorrow after losing his close friend Ashley. The raw emotional impact of Ashley's death continues to affect Tony, as he thinks about him every single day. Ashley was not only Rachel's brother but also considered a brother by Tony. The loss of such a young, innocent, and happy person like Ashley is incredibly unfair and has left Tony grappling with the incomprehensibility of it all. The tragedy has also put a strain on Tony's relationship with Rachel, as they both struggle to come to terms with the unanswered questions surrounding Ashley's passing. Overall, losing Ashley has been the toughest experience in Tony's life, surpassing even the loss of his grandparents.

    • Tony Bellew's Battle with Depression and Finding the True Meaning of PriorityTony Bellew's journey highlights the importance of addressing unresolved issues, prioritizing family over external distractions, and recognizing the true significance of loved ones in the face of personal struggles.

      Tony Bellew experienced deep emotional pain and depression during a difficult phase of his life. He admits to crying himself to sleep every night and feeling helpless in the face of his wife's pain. He also opens up about his experience with depression and his belief that it is often misrepresented or exploited for personal gain. The conversation reveals that going on the TV show SAS helped Tony realize he had unresolved issues and a constant desire to make his wife happy. It also made him understand the importance of his family and the insignificance of external distractions like his phone. Ultimately, he recognizes that his wife and children are his top priorities and nothing else truly matters in comparison.

    • Tony Bellew's Journey Towards Personal Growth and Emotional Well-beingAcceptance, letting go of the past, and finding healthy ways to move forward are essential for personal growth and happiness, even in the face of adversity.

      Tony Bellew has realized the importance of implementing changes in his life and reducing his dependency on his phone. He acknowledges that leaving his phone alone at home can be challenging but understands the need to disconnect for his own well-being. The conversation also touches on the concept of protective walls that individuals build around themselves to survive difficult circumstances. While these walls may serve a purpose earlier in life, they can become a hindrance as adults, preventing emotional connection and causing anger and defensiveness. Tony relates to this concept and acknowledges that he might be holding onto pain and torment from his past. However, he also emphasizes that he won't give up and will continue to strive for happiness. This highlights the importance of confronting past traumas and finding healthy ways to move forward. Tony's attitude of acceptance and not dwelling on things he cannot change is a valuable lesson for handling adversity.

    • True Happiness and the Pursuit of FulfillmentTrue happiness is not solely determined by material wealth or achievements, and it is a continuous journey that cannot be fully achieved through external factors alone.

      Tony Bellew believes that true happiness is not solely determined by material wealth or achievements. He acknowledges that while he is happy with his life and what he has accomplished, there is still a sense of incompleteness. He recognizes that constantly chasing money and material possessions may not bring him the fulfillment he seeks. Tony understands that no one can ever feel completely fulfilled because it would negate the drive to keep improving and pushing towards goals. He acknowledges that normal life and traditional 9 to 5 jobs are not for him, but he appreciates the strength of those who excel in those roles. Ultimately, the key takeaway is that happiness is a complex and ongoing journey that cannot be fully achieved through external factors alone.

    • Redefining Success: Tony Bellew's Journey of InspirationSuccess is not defined by money or fame, but by the hard work, determination, and struggle it takes to achieve one's goals. Anyone can achieve greatness with the right mindset and perseverance.

      Money and fame do not hold much value for Tony Bellew anymore. He believes that they are just expectations and intrusions of privacy. Instead, he sees the importance of showing people the journey, the hard work, determination, and struggle it takes to achieve success. If given unlimited money, Tony would use it to showcase to everyone that they are capable of accomplishing great things, just like he has. He believes that social media often only displays the destination, without revealing the uphill battle and effort it took to get there. Tony emphasizes that he is not someone special, but rather a regular person from Liverpool who never gave up and always believed in himself. His message is that anyone can achieve their goals if they have the same drive and determination.

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    Moment 168: STOP Doing THIS! It's Killing Your Sleep!: The Fitness Scientist

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    The Fasting Expert: "The Truth About Ozempic", These 3 Foods Are Leading To Cancer! Our Supermarket Food Isn't Safe! - Dr Mindy Pelz

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