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    E146: Tom Bilyeu: From Broke & Sleeping On The Floor To A $1 Billion Business

    enMay 26, 2022
    What does Tom Bilyeu say about self-stories?
    How can behaviors influence personal success according to the text?
    What are the concerns regarding division in society?
    How can embracing web 3 technologies help society?
    What is the significance of detaching from past achievements?

    Podcast Summary

    • The Power of Self-Perception and Belief in Personal GrowthBelieving in your ability to change, aligning behaviors with skill acquisition, and taking steps towards improvement are crucial in overcoming self-doubt and achieving success.

      The story you tell yourself about yourself is crucial to your personal growth and success. Tom Bilyeu emphasizes that he changed his self-story by believing that he could get better and putting in the effort to acquire new skills. He recognizes that his initial perception of himself as lazy and lacking value was accurate, but he chose to believe in his ability to change and aligned his behaviors with skill acquisition. Steven Bartlett discusses the idea of choosing beliefs and the importance of subjective evidence to support those beliefs. While affirmations and positive self-talk can erode limiting beliefs, it is ultimately your behaviors and actions that shape your success. Believing in your potential and taking steps towards improvement are key to overcoming self-doubt and achieving your goals.

    • Harnessing the Power of Brain PlasticityOur brains have the remarkable ability to change and improve, allowing us to overcome self-doubt and pursue success by believing in our capacity for growth and learning.

      Our brains have the ability to change and grow, regardless of our current skills or abilities. Tom Bilyeu discovered the concept of brain plasticity, which is the idea that our brains can adapt and improve over time. This realization allowed him to overcome his feelings of inadequacy and pursue success. He chose to believe that he could change and develop new skills, which led him on a journey to build a successful company. While it is true that making changes becomes more challenging as we age, it is still possible to learn and grow. The understanding of brain plasticity provides us with hope and motivation to continuously improve ourselves.

    • The Power of Self-Awareness and HumilitySuccess and personal growth come from valuing oneself as a lifelong learner, recognizing strengths and weaknesses, nurturing relationships, and continuously striving to grow.

      Self-awareness and humility are crucial skills for personal growth and success. Tom Bilyeu realized that valuing himself solely for being smart led to emotional distress and limited his potential for success. He made the conscious decision to shift his focus towards being a lifelong learner and identifying the right answers instead. This shift in mindset allowed him to prioritize personal development, acknowledge his strengths and weaknesses, and find fulfillment in continuous improvement. He also recognized that constructing a value system and reinforcing positive beliefs about oneself is essential. Ultimately, true success and self-worth come from feeling good about oneself, nurturing healthy relationships, and constantly striving to grow and learn.

    • The Impact of Belief Systems on Self-Worth and HappinessOur self-worth and inner happiness are shaped by our beliefs and societal influences. Pursuing external success may not bring lasting satisfaction. Managing anxiety involves making lifestyle changes and interrupting negative thoughts.

      Our belief systems, embedded from childhood and societal influences, play a major role in shaping our self-worth and values. The pursuit of tremendous success, driven by the notion that it will bring permanent happiness, often leads to a cycle of continuous striving for validation. However, no amount of success or external achievements can provide lasting satisfaction. It is crucial to be mindful of what we choose to value and prioritize because that ultimately determines our self-respect and inner happiness. Anxiety, a complex emotion, can be managed by making lifestyle changes such as diet and adopting practices like meditation. Interrupting negative thought patterns and focusing on rehearsing success can significantly reduce anxiety levels. However, there may still be moments where the intensity of certain situations requires a different approach.

    • Addressing Anxiety: The Role of Diet, Social Media, and MindfulnessBalancing diet, reducing social media use, and practicing mindfulness are essential in managing anxiety and promoting mental well-being.

      Anxiety is a prevalent issue in society today, and there are multiple factors that contribute to it. Tom Bilyeu believes that diet plays a significant role in reducing anxiety levels, emphasizing the importance of a balanced diet. However, diet alone may not eliminate anxiety entirely, and additional strategies like meditation, addressing ruminating thoughts, and adjusting belief systems are necessary. Steven Bartlett adds that social media exacerbates anxiety through constant comparison and the pressure of achieving success. He suggests that removing social media could alleviate a significant amount of anxiety, although it would also shrink individuals' context. Ultimately, the key to a resilient mental state lies in reducing human suffering, elevating personal fulfillment, and pursuing a balanced lifestyle while being mindful of the negative impacts of social media.

    • Finding fulfillment through hard work, meaningful skills, and serving others.True fulfillment comes from pursuing a purpose that excites you, acquiring meaningful skills, and using them to help others, despite the challenges and judgments you may face.

      Fulfillment comes from working hard to acquire meaningful skills that allow you to serve yourself and others in pursuit of an exciting and honorable goal. It's important to find something that truly matters to you and excites you, like Tom's passion for storytelling. However, it's not just about personal gain or admiration, but also about using your skills to help others and holding yourself accountable to that purpose. This cocktail of hard work, meaningful skills, and serving others brings fulfillment. While it's difficult to detach from the judgments and misunderstandings of others, staying true to your purpose and consistently showing up to help people will provide the emotional resilience needed to overcome those challenges.

    • The Power of Fulfillment and Purpose in Overcoming CriticismHaving a sense of fulfillment and a strong purpose helps to endure unhappiness and criticism, enabling one to navigate through challenges and stay focused on making a positive impact.

      Having fulfillment and something worth fighting for can help withstand moments of unhappiness and external criticism. Tom Bilyeu emphasizes the importance of having a purpose or belief to push through frustrations and difficulties. He shares his personal experience of facing criticism when he first started being on camera and writing articles. Despite facing backlash, he remained focused on helping others and spreading timeless ideas. Tom acknowledges the challenges of dealing with negativity in today's world, especially through social media. He also mentions the need for mental resilience in a generation that is constantly exposed to criticism. Overall, finding fulfillment and staying true to one's purpose can provide the strength to navigate through difficult circumstances.

    • Embracing Personal Responsibility for Success and GrowthPersonal responsibility is the key to personal growth and success. By developing resilience and embracing the ability to change and improve oneself, one can overcome challenges and achieve greatness.

      Personal responsibility is both true and optimistic. It is important to develop a value system and belief system that makes one resilient in order to engage with the internet and communicate with large groups of people. However, many people reject personal responsibility because it challenges their belief systems. It is crucial to remember that personal responsibility is about the ability to change and improve oneself, regardless of external opinions or obstacles. By dedicating time and energy to improving in any given area, one can surpass the vast majority of humanity. Embracing personal responsibility can be liberating, giving hope and motivation to overcome challenges. It has the power to change lives for the better, as evidenced by the countless individuals who have implemented this mindset. Ultimately, personal responsibility is a powerful tool for success and personal growth.

    • Embracing Personal Responsibility and Optimism for Positive Change and Personal Growth.By taking personal responsibility and maintaining an optimistic mindset, individuals can overcome challenges, develop their skills, and create a fulfilling life that aligns with their goals.

      Personal responsibility and a bias towards optimism can lead to positive change and personal growth. While some may find comfort and validation in a victim mentality, it ultimately hinders their ability to improve their circumstances. By embracing personal responsibility, individuals can develop skills that enable them to overcome challenges and contribute to society. This shift in mindset allows for the accumulation of knowledge and the development of a narrative that aligns with one's desires and goals. Through hard work and determination, individuals can create a better world for themselves and others, gaining a sense of fulfillment and personal power. It is essential to recognize the value of skills and the ability to make a significant impact on one's life through personal responsibility and optimism.

    • Personal Responsibility and Acquiring Skills for Success and PowerPersonal growth and improvement necessitate self-accountability and understanding the diverse challenges individuals may encounter.

      Personal responsibility and acquiring skills are essential for gaining power and success. Tom Bilyeu emphasizes the importance of rejecting the victim mentality and not letting valid excuses hold us back. He draws inspiration from Nelson Mandela's story of finding the "third way" of unity instead of remaining oppressed or becoming the oppressor. However, Steven Bartlett raises the point of mindset privilege, acknowledging that personal circumstances and mental health can make it challenging to take responsibility and learn new skills. Tom acknowledges this and shares his own struggles with anxiety, highlighting that everyone faces unique challenges. Ultimately, the key takeaway is that personal growth and improvement require both self-accountability and understanding the different circumstances individuals may face.

    • Taking Personal Responsibility for Success and Overcoming ChallengesPersonal responsibility is essential for success and overcoming challenges. It requires being true and optimistic in one's beliefs, embracing tough times as opportunities for growth and skill development.

      Personal responsibility is crucial for success and overcoming challenges. Despite facing extreme disabilities, Steven Hawking understood that no one would help him if he didn't help himself first. This mindset allowed him to make significant contributions to physics. Tom Bilyeu emphasizes the importance of being both true and optimistic in one's belief system, avoiding false optimism that can hinder progress. He believes that the cultural movement towards personal responsibility has lost momentum, leading to the likelihood of hard times ahead. Ray Dalio's book on cyclical patterns in society suggests that tough times are inevitable and necessary for the development of strong individuals and the acquisition of valuable skills.

    • Addressing Division and Extremism: Unity, Empathy, and Embracing Web 3 TechnologiesTo avoid social upheaval and global instability, we must prioritize unity, empathy, and embracing different perspectives. Utilizing web 3 technologies and fostering a thriving middle class can help prevent dire consequences.

      There is growing division and extremism in society, which poses a threat to social stability and global leadership. Tom Bilyeu expresses concern that the United States is heading in the wrong direction and warns of the potential for a civil war or war with China. He emphasizes the importance of unity, empathy, and valuing different perspectives in order to avoid these dire consequences. Bilyeu believes that embracing web 3 technologies and fostering a thriving middle class can help prevent societal upheaval. He urges individuals to race to the middle instead of embracing extreme ideologies and dehumanizing others. Failure to bridge our differences and work together could result in a weakened America and a stronger China, leading to further global instability.

    • Tom Bilyeu's Commitment to Diplomacy, Unity, and Positive ChangeTom Bilyeu emphasizes the importance of diplomacy, unity, and personal responsibility in creating a better world, using storytelling and his comic book as tools to inspire positive change.

      Tom Bilyeu's obsession is finding a diplomatic solution and avoiding a disaster scenario. Although he doesn't see himself as a world leader, he believes he can contribute through storytelling and his comic book, Neon Future, which emphasizes the value of differences and the power of unity. Tom recognizes that personal responsibility and acquiring meaningful skills are crucial in creating a better world. When discussing the likelihood of a conflict between global powers, Tom defers to experts like Ray Dalio, who suggest a 40% chance of both US civil war and US-China conflict. Overall, the conversation highlights Tom's commitment to diplomacy, unity, and using his platform to inspire positive change.

    • Importance of Honest and Concise Communication in RelationshipsOpen and honest communication, along with understanding and expressing one's feelings concisely, is essential for resolving conflicts and addressing insecurities in a relationship.

      Healthy communication in a relationship requires honesty, self-awareness, and the ability to articulate one's feelings concisely. Tom Bilyeu emphasizes the importance of never lying and taking the time to understand and express what is truly bothering you in a single sentence. By doing so, couples can address insecurities and work towards resolving conflicts effectively. It is crucial to acknowledge that anger and arguments often stem from personal insecurities rather than solely blaming the other person. This approach enables couples to have productive conversations and find the path forward. Steven Bartlett reflects on his own experiences, realizing that it takes time to articulate one's thoughts and reach a clear understanding.

    • Balancing Priorities in RelationshipsOpen communication and understanding are essential in relationships, as individuals may have different priorities. Finding a balance between personal pursuits and a thriving relationship is crucial for long-term happiness.

      Relationships require prioritization and compromise. Both speakers offer different perspectives on this topic, with one emphasizing the importance of maintaining a strong relationship as the highest priority, while the other argues for having other priorities alongside the relationship. The conversation highlights the need for open and honest communication in relationships, as well as the understanding that each individual's values and priorities may differ. Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance between personal pursuits and maintaining a thriving and fulfilling relationship. The speakers also emphasize the profound joy and stability that can come from being someone's number one priority and the importance of nurturing a loving and respectful partnership.

    • Prioritizing Relationships and Balancing AmbitionFind fulfillment by prioritizing relationships, setting boundaries, and embracing ambition, while acknowledging the sacrifices and costs that come with it.

      Prioritizing your relationships and making sacrifices for them can bring immense fulfillment and happiness. Tom Bilyeu emphasizes that his wife is his number one priority, even though he also has a successful business. He highlights the importance of setting a line in the sand and making the conscious decision to put your relationship first. This mindset allows for clarity and freedom when faced with conflicting demands. Additionally, Tom shares the significance of maintaining his ambition and the pursuit of being the best, even though he may never achieve that title. He acknowledges that striving comes with a cost, but it's a cost he willingly pays because it makes him feel alive. Ultimately, the key takeaway is to find a balance between ambition and personal fulfillment while prioritizing meaningful relationships.

    • The Liberating Power of Detachment and Finding FulfillmentDetaching oneself from success and finding fulfillment in what one does can reduce stress and allow for exploration of passions. Understanding one's own unique motivation is key to building lasting passion.

      Having the ability to detach oneself from success or achievements can be liberating and reduce stress. Tom Bilyeu shares that he has the option to stop pursuing his current path at any time and pursue a parallel life that he finds equally exciting. This mindset allows him to carry more weight and deal with stress with greater ease. He emphasizes the importance of finding fulfillment in what one does and not clinging onto past successes or identities. Additionally, he reflects on his struggle to focus on one thing due to his desire to explore various interests and passions. Ultimately, he encourages building passion instead of simply finding it and highlights the significance of understanding one's own unique motivation and determination.

    • The Importance of Focus, Reinvention, and SupportBy focusing on one thing at a time, reinventing oneself, and having a supportive partner, one can achieve greatness and fulfill their potential.

      Tom Bilyeu emphasizes the importance of focusing on one thing at a time and shutting the doors to other distractions. Despite being deeply interested in various subjects, he acknowledges that he can only excel in one area at a time. This mindset has led him to reinvent himself every 10 years in order to pursue new passions and achieve greatness. Yet, Steven Bartlett admires Tom's ability to focus and his deep understanding of various topics. Furthermore, Tom credits his wife as the person who has had the biggest influence on his life. Her unwavering belief in him, her emotional wisdom, and her support have shaped his beliefs, motivations, and potential. Thus, the key takeaway is the importance of focus, reinvention, and the impact of a supportive partner.

    • The Power of Significant Others in Personal GrowthSurrounding ourselves with individuals who inspire growth and challenge us can have a profound impact on our personal development and self-improvement journey.

      The influence of a significant other can have a profound impact on personal growth. Tom Bilyeu acknowledges that his wife, Lisa, has played a pivotal role in shaping who he is today. She has encouraged and challenged him in countless ways, pushing him to step out of his comfort zone and strive for greatness. Steven Bartlett recognizes the power of deep conversations and understanding intention beyond surface-level interactions. He commends Tom for his exceptional ability to condense wisdom from books and his own life experiences into engaging storytelling. Bartlett admires Tom's humility, honesty, and expertise in delivering self-development content. Their conversation highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with individuals who inspire growth and serve as catalysts for self-improvement.

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    • 57:30 How To Cope With Uncertainty 
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    • 1:19:00 Alli On Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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