Do DINKs Have More Fun (and Money)?
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November 21, 2024
TLDR: Rachel and George discuss the financial impact of having kids on DINKs (Dual Income No Kids) in today's episode. They give insights on readiness for parenthood. View a related video and submit questions using Instagram DMs.
In the latest episode of Smart Money Happy Hour, hosts Rachel Cruze and George Kamel delve into the intriguing world of DINKs—Dual Income, No Kids. The discussion unfolds over casual drinks and pivotal insights about financial priorities, lifestyle choices, and the societal shifts impacting child-rearing decisions.
Understanding DINKs
DINKs, which stands for Dual Income, No Kids, represent a lifestyle characterized by financial freedom and flexibility. The hosts discuss why many couples today are choosing (or finding themselves unable) to remain child-free:
- Freedom and Travel: DINKs enjoy the advantage of carefree travel without the logistical challenges that come with parenting. With an increase in accessible global travel options and options for remote work, couples find it easier to embrace a child-free lifestyle.
- Financial Considerations: According to Pew Research, 44% of adults without kids are likely not to have children due to the rising costs associated with raising kids. On average, raising a child to age 18 costs around $310,000, equating to about $17,000 per year.
- Career Focus: Many individuals prioritizing career advancement indicate that parenting could hinder their progress. The spontaneity that comes with DINK life supports their ambitions and responsibilities.
Reasons for Not Having Children
Several critical factors contribute to the decision to remain child-free:
- Personal Choice: Many couples find fulfillment in personal pursuits or opt for alternative family structures, such as fostering and adoption, rather than traditional parenting.
- Cultural Shifts: As society evolves, multiple lifestyle models gain traction, reducing the stigma around being child-free.
- Economic Landscape: With the cost of living rising and economic supplies fluctuating, anxiety concerning financial stability deters couples from starting families.
Practical Takeaways from the Episode
Parenting Costs
- Unforeseen Expenses: The hosts discuss unexpected costs related to caregiving, such as daycare, medical expenses, and educational fees that can add financial stress.
- Budgeting for Kids: Setting clear budgets can significantly ease the burden of unexpected expenses. Rachel and George suggest using budget tools effectively to keep track of expenses and savings goals.
Maintaining Stability in Relationships
The podcast also emphasizes how relationships shift after having children. Key reflections include:
- Shared Responsibility: Couples often find themselves dividing roles and responsibilities to manage parenting efficiently.
- Quality Time: With kids, it’s essential to create intention around maintaining a relationship, which may require establishing daily routines for communication and connection.
The Bigger Picture
The podcast urges couples considering parenthood to have open discussions about their financial preparedness and emotional readiness:
- You’ll Never Be Completely Ready: The hosts advocate for a realistic approach to readiness, where financial debt might not be a barrier. Couples should focus on creating a supportive environment to nurture both ambitions and responsibilities.
- Do Parents Owe College Tuition?: Both Rachel and George agree it's a gift, but neither a responsibility of the parents—emphasizing that college can still be pursued debt-free through careful planning and proactive communication with the child.
Conclusion
The podcast wraps up with a friendly toast and a recipe for the drink they enjoyed, "Isn’t She Lovely?" alongside encouraging listeners to appreciate their unique circumstances regarding parenting and finances. In this ever-changing world, with rising costs and evolving societal norms, it’s essential to embrace individual choices to live fully, whether as DINKs or parents.
Key Insights:
- DINKs enjoy financial flexibility, but the decision not to have children often involves various personal, cultural, and economic factors.
- Aspiring parents should communicate openly about financial readiness and consider all options before creating a family.
- Building a solid financial plan and nurturing relationships is vital, regardless of the family model.
With engaging discussions and relatable anecdotes, Rachel and George's conversation reassures listeners that every journey is unique and worthy of celebration.
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Hey guys, I'm Rachel Cruz. I'm George Campbell. And this is Smart Money Happy Hour. Cheers, George. Cheers. Very refreshing. That's a delight. I mean, not mad at all. It'd be hard to be mad at that. I don't get mad a lot, but that does not make me mad. All right. This is the show. We're two friends who happen to be money experts. Talk about what you're talking about. So everything from pop culture, current events, and money.
And today we're talking about dinks. If you know, you know, and if you don't, we'll tell you, that's the point of this podcast. Before we talk about dinks, shall we talk about drinks? I did it in the question. Did you see that? That was good. I went up at the end. Should we talk about drinks? We are sipping on and isn't she lovely, which I believe is named after producer Kelly.
That's the etymology. It's where it came from. I don't make this up. Kelly. And it's a lovely drink so far. So stick around until the end of the episode. We're going to give you our rating, reveal the cost per glass, and as always, the recipes and the show notes. If you want to skip ahead.
Yeah. All right. George, have you seen the internet trend? Dinks. But like, I know that term has been around, which is, we'll just spoiler alert, should we? Sure. I was going to wait till the very end now. I'm just going to just tell them. Dual income, no kids. But there's like a trend on Instagram where they're like, we're dinks. Of course we sleep eight hours a night on a Tempur-Pedic night's mattress. Of course we take three week vacations to Europe.
Yeah, we're dinks, right? So it's like this like freedom living, right? Before kids, dual income, no kids. Hit me with some steps. Okay, so in 2021, from Pew Research Center, they found that 44% of people from ages 18 to 49 who are currently without kids say that they are not likely to ever have children.
Wow. Isn't that interesting? 44%. That's a big range. 18 to 49, which is like adults who aren't retired. Half of them basically said, yeah, probably not going to happen. Yeah, and 44% that's high. It's close to half.
Wow, well, even if you look back 100 years ago, having kids was more of a financial necessity than a choice. Like you needed the village. Now that child labor laws exist, you can't pull your 14 kids out of grade school to have them be unpaid labor on the family farm for harvest. Different times we live in, Rachel. There are some legitimate reasons, though, while people...
You know, maybe don't want kids of their choosing. And then sometimes it's not of their choosing, right? The idea of having children. Everyone's got their reasons. For sure. Yeah. And I mean, first and foremost, why people aren't when you look at me in fertility.
We should call that out at the very top here because a lot of people want kids. They're unable to have kids. Yes. And that's throwing at a rapid rate as well. Right. So that's a whole conversation going on. But that's one reason. Another is career. Some people just, you know, they want to dedicate their time and their energy towards their career.
And growing to be a parent and work 60 hours a week and do all these, you know, grow your career or get further education, all that's just harder when you're a parent. Absolutely. Increased access to travel. This one's interesting. The ability to travel has highlighted alternative cultures, ways of living that are communal, but less nuclear family focused and travel is tougher with kids. So if you want to go like, I'm going to live in Costa Rica for half the year. That's just tougher to do pulling kids around and pulling them out of school and all that stuff.
And I do think the ability to travel is so much easier today than it was, you think back in like the 80s or the 70s, right? I'm like, there's apps and deals and like you can get to places being formed so much faster, right? So even that, the travel opportunity.
I feel like it's quieter today. Well, ain't even to do a two-week trip. Like, I got to find a sitter for two weeks. And if you don't have family that you trust or that's local, that's difficult. It's hard to do it for sure. And also with medicine, George, I mean, all the advancements, you know, health-wise, people are able to have kids later in life and even space them out if they choose to, right? So even the timeline on which you have children, yep, there's going to be some planning there. Oh, right. Another one that's interesting is just individualism.
As a society, we've become more self-sustaining and maybe self-centered. I'm not saying that you're selfish if you don't have kids, but there's a piece of it where you don't have to reproduce to have a life that feels full and social and entertaining. You can just pay for things, maybe. But I would argue that I feel like I have a purpose I didn't know existed.
Now as a father, you know what I mean? It's not to say you don't have purpose, you don't have kids. I just feel like there's this, wow, there's a responsibility of like, I had get to raise this human up to hopefully be a great adult. Sure, oh yeah. There's a whole other part of, yeah, life that opens up. Yes. But some of you want to go, no, I'm good. Yeah. And that's fine. They do. Also a chaotic world.
You know, we see the news, we see what's happening. I mean, it's just one I really have empathy for. I get it. I mean, some people are like, I don't want to bring my kids into, I don't want to bring kids into this world. And, you know, for some people, it's getting worse and worse and worse. And why bring kids in?
That's a reason. It's a very sad pessimistic outlook, but I get it if you just look at headlines and go, listen, the world's going crazy and I don't want my kid in this environment and I'm going to have to deal with this and I'm responsible for what happens to them. So I get that.
Another one is equal opportunity. The ability for women to have their own bank accounts and work the same jobs, that's only a few decades old. So I think that level of autonomy, you know, women can earn money more independently. They're able to take a step back and think about what kind of life and career do I want? And that doesn't always involve kids. Whereas back in the day, it was more traditional roles and you have kids, you take care of the family. That's what you do. Yep, for sure. Times have changed. Also the generational baggage, pack it up and
There's a lot there. Let's unpack it, if you will. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, but really all this self-help people have become more self-aware seeking therapy and all of this. And I think the more you realize, oh my gosh, I don't know if I want to bring kids into this generational mess of a family even, right? There's the world and then the family dynamic.
But there's been a lot of pain and trauma. And some people are like, I don't want to bring kids into that. I don't want to repeat the cycle. I don't want to pass on this DNA. And I think we believe that you can change your family tree. Yes. Oh, in any way, spiritually as well. Yeah. More in every way, for sure. There's also adoption. So the need for adoption, foster care, all of that, I think.
Again, as we get more information into the world, even parts like this of life, you are exposed to and realize, oh my gosh, real numbers, real data, seeing and experiencing children that need a home. And so, yeah, I think people choose that avenue. I actually had a lady on my show, George Marcy, and they chose her and her husband not to have kids of their own. She didn't even know if she could or not. She was like, regardless of what my body can do, we're choosing to foster to adopt. It's like what they went in.
That's beautiful. So some people are doing that. Yeah. And that's expensive, which might mean we're going to wait later in life until we have our finance and order of growers. Foster to adopt, though, on average is $5,000. It's the cheapest avenue. Oh, I didn't know that. Add a domestic adoption and international, yeah. Wow. OK. We talked about that.
And last but not least, and the main thing we're talking about today, money. That is one of the biggest reasons it's expensive to have kids, whether natural IVF adoption, raising them to age 18, which is why our dink friends out there are leaning into the season and they're making the most of it, making TikToks while we're out here being parents. Would you all say this is, I think infertility is a big one for sure why people aren't having kids, aren't able to.
But money, I think money's like top three on the list. I feel like when I hear people say, we don't want kids, it's because they're expensive. I feel like that's like, that's a big one. So yeah, I would see career, infertility, money. I think just the ones that I hear, like I hear you talk about. The general responsibility, I think, is not exciting for a lot of people. Yes. It's such a sacrifice. Yeah.
For sure. I mean, it takes a lot of physical, emotional, mental energy. Yep, for sure. Especially in those first few years. And then I don't know beyond that, but from what I've heard, it can get crazy. It's crazy. You have how old are your kids now? 974.
And you feel like this is a great season for you guys? Yes, this is the most fun we've had. Is it less chaotic or just chaotic, but fun? Yeah, different chaos, but they're fun. They're like, you can talk to them. Yeah. And I'm looking forward to that. Not as much Charles. He's still four. Like he's still little.
But Amelia, when they hit that sweet age. Amelia feels like a tiny adult. She feels very mature. She's an old soul. I could just talk to her right now as an adult. Just so sweet. I know. They all are so great. But that's a sweet age because she still holds my hands when we're walking. She still wants to be with me, but yet she can make scrambled eggs and get herself dressed. She can do things. Wow, scrambles. That's more than most adults can do. I taught my kids scrambled eggs and pancakes.
That's all you need, honestly. I don't know what else you need. You're not gonna thrive in life, but you can serve it. Pretty good. You get protein in a little.
And a little cup of pancake. Best of all, you don't have to do it. That's right. That's the goal. Yeah. It starts to get lazier and lazier if you can. So I recently did an episode on my YouTube channel about this very topic. And the overwhelming response from people was the financial margin that's required to have and raise a kid. And one stat we found was that on average, it takes $310,000 to raise a child to age 18. So over 18 years, divide that out.
And that breaks down to about 17,000 a year or $1,400 per month if you distribute evenly, which as you know, some seasons are more expensive than others, certain ages. But yeah, I mean, in daycare, that could be 14 without food and clothes. I mean, even from the beginning, when you find out that you're expecting, it's like, okay, doctors appointments and copays and the ultrasound bill and hospital bills, when you have the baby,
And then you go into diapers, bottles, baby gear, formula, insurance premiums, continue to go up the more, you know, kids you have, the more people on your plan. Then you talk about, yeah, daycare, you talk about school tuition, if you're doing a private school. I mean, all of that comes into play. And then when you're traveling, yeah, strollers, then you're- The travel stroller? You got to get a bigger car. You got three kids, so you got to get a bigger car, got to get a minivan.
Well, hey, don't put that on you if you Bobby. Did you ever have a minivan? Well, we have one now. Yeah, yeah
I know I like to. Eventually, we all succumb to the minivan. And then we all brag about the minivan. And then we all get out of it. All right, moving on. It's just very expensive. So giving birth on average. Let's talk about giving birth. On average costs $18,865 without health insurance. And that includes the pregnancy delivery, postpartum care, daycare for one week. On average, $321. That checks out.
16,000 a year. It's a lot going. It's a lot. So to be fair, when we're like, just have kids, it's going to be easy and fun. There is a financial requirement. And here's the deal. We know that even if you're not financially ready, you figure it out. You make sacrifices and you make it work. Yeah. And let me just say this, too. There is, I mean, besides, besides a couple of these things, but overall, there is a spectrum, right? Even the stroller. We joke about it.
they'll be fine in a plastic umbrella stroller that's $30 from Walmart. There's a spectrum on all this stuff of which you can purchase and buy. You can make it as expensive as you want to a degree. Some of these categories don't change.
Some of them we can, we can be okay, right? Yeah, but I think we have way more information than our parents did and that's caused us to make very different decisions. So my wife is, I would say medium crunchy, like she gets the organic like goat toddler formula instead of whatever. That's a great crunchy.
You know, so she's up there. And so it costs more for all of the baby stuff. Because she wants higher quality foods and items. And it's not a judgment call of like, well, everyone should do this. It's just what we do for our family and we build it into the budget.
Yeah, but to your point, it's more expensive, right? It is very expensive. All right, so we've been on both sides of the coin. So that would be fun. It's a little pro and con list. You know, have a little challenge in here. You know, I love a good game. She loves a competition. Love a good challenge. Only if she wins. So it'll be good. I think it's going to be fun. OK, so we're going to take turns going through some questions, talking about the cost and reality of having kids. Some are serious, some are fun, and all will be answered in full transparency.
After your drinks dinks joke, I had to have one. That was good. That was good. All right, let's get to the questions. How did you and your spouse know you were ready to have kids? Was there a bus feed quiz you took? Why are you on? That's how we did it.
I did not want kids for a while. I was like, Winston would have had him a year in the marriage. Wow. He was just ready to be a dad? Yeah, for sure. He was like, yeah, I'm great when you are. And I was the classic, this is so Rachel, but I didn't want him. I was like, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. And then I'm one of our friends, had a baby, and I went to the hospital.
baby fever. Nick and Dana I owned, never forget them. Went in, saw the baby, and I lost, we got into the elevator, and I said, I think I wanna have kids. Wow. And I'm ready for a baby. Mm-hmm. That was, it was a cute, must've been a cute baby. I don't know what it was, it was one of those classic, I'd seen other babies up into that point. I know you've done this. When you see a friend's baby, and you can't say, oh how cute, what do you say? They're so precious. They're precious in God's eyes.
No! You can't say that!
That is a little bit too very specific. Actually, I say precious a lot. So just because if I call your baby precious, that doesn't mean I think they're ugly. But when you saw my baby. Mia was super cute. Super cute, I know. Gorgeous, beautiful. I know. Yeah, beautiful, beautiful baby. Yes, that was us. It was me. It was just literally a flip of the switch. I was ready. Five years later. I'm ready. How about you? I think we just ran out of other things to do. Like go, you know what I mean? It's like, all right.
Got a dog, got another dog, got a house. All right, now what? You know what I mean? What's the next step? So I think once you just run out of entertainment, you go, all right, let's let the baby entertain us. Have some kids. So I think that's what happened. But also Whitney's age, she was starting to go, hey, listen, I'm in my early 30s. You know, I don't want to wait too much longer to start because what if I want three kids and we want to space them out? So there is a bit of family planning you got to do there. For sure. You guys think about it.
came on. There you go. After dealing with two French bulldogs and wiping their butts, it's like, what's another butt? What is one more butt? I still can't. I just can't believe y'all do that. I can't. I just can't. Would you not do it for your daughter? Don't my baby. Yes. I'm in your dog. There's not much difference with a dog. My daughter doesn't sleep in the bed with us. My dogs do. That's a level of intimacy that very few know. That is.
That is true. Sometimes I hold her paw at night. It's very comforting. Where's John Deloney when you need to be psychoanalyzed? Just holding the dog paws. That's real life. OK, next question. What's one surprising cost of having kids that you didn't expect? Oh, that's a good one. I will say the formula. I didn't realize, especially the type that we get, how expensive it is and how much they go through. Yes.
As far as cost goes, because my wife stays home now, so we don't have daycare. But we also lost her income. There you go. So that's a cost. Here, here. Yep. Totally worth it. How about you? I would say baby wise, it was the diapers. I remember Winston going out to get diapers, like, I don't know, the first week or something. I was like, just get that little pack and we'll go out this week and get more. You go through a pack and like a day. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's crazy. So I remember thinking, wait,
What? Oh my gosh. And you got to buy a big box. And that's, I mean, they're expensive. So, and I didn't get like the, I mean, I just got pampers. So it wasn't even like a nicer. I thought that was the good name brand. No, I think there's like the organic, the honest spring. I mean, there's like, yeah, something like the organic diapers, which we didn't do. It's disposable underwear, guys. Let's remember that. It's what we're talking about. Did you want to do, did she want to do cloth diapers at all?
No, I wouldn't have let that. Now I get it. Like some people are made of this. That's a money saver. I bet there's some people out there. I don't think I could, I don't have the stomach for it. Yeah. I mean, we had a snake in our garage the other day and I couldn't even look at it in the face. I couldn't look at it. I said, everyone else deal with it. I'm going to go in. I'll be ready to hit 911 when the time is right. So clean, clean in a diaper. So weak stomach, not going to be cleaning out. Has anything happened so far with Mia that's made you like be sick? Oh.
like throw up, blow out, it's all that stuff. Yeah, weak stomach. No, I feel like I've been, I've held strong. Yeah, I did it for Whitney. You know, she needs strength. And I think I exude strength in our marriage. But sometimes I will walk in that nursery and go, nope, let's turn on a fan. I'll be back in three.
It's so aggressive. Sometimes it's a lot. Sometimes it's a lot. OK, George, so what do you think the best way to protect your family from online scanners is? Is this a trick question? Maybe. Delete me. Yes. You got it right. So delete me as a great service, you all, that you sign up and they go and they take all of your info off of the internet. Data broker websites will go and buy your data because sites that you put your data on, that you didn't even know, sold your data.
I mean, what is happening with the world? This is the world we don't want to bring kids into. That's true. So the scammers, the spammers, they are out there. So getting your data removed from the internet is so key and delete me helps you with that. They do it all for you. And so I've saved 44 hours according to their report of time. It saved me from finding and removing all of that myself. And they even have family plans that you can add spouses and kids and all their info to so they can be scrubbed off the internet.
Yeah, because I think privacy is the new. It's like the new currency. We're all like in a data driven world. We're all just like, please get me out of here. Yeah, don't. Yeah, don't be selling my phone number, people, my home address. Like it's just crazy and delete me. They're so thorough that when you do your profile that it pulls like.
like you're in-laws. Are they like, is this your in-laws? Did you live here? I'm like, yes. Yes. I mean, like it's wild what is out there. So again, delete me. It's such a great service. Very affordable. Check it out. Just go to join deleteme.com slash smart money and you'll get 20% off for being a valued listener and viewer. That's so good. Okay. Click the link in the description. We'll put it down there. George, here's a little quiz for you. Name three ways to save on childcare off the top of your head.
Oh gosh, have amazing family that watch your kids for you. That's a life hack. That would be nice. That would be nice. Does this count like daycare and baby sitting? Yeah, all the other. I've heard of this, the barter system. So it's like Rachel, I'll watch your kids for night. You guys go out on a date night, next time you watch our kids. And that way you sort of can avoid the high cost of baby sitting. And I know some moms that work part time.
Oh, like even setting up your schedules, which takes some planning for sure. But man, so much cheaper. A nanny shares, great too. We have some. Oh, we have some at the office. Yes, that uses this where there's like three or four kids in it. And you split the cost and it's so much more affordable. Yep.
Also, to say a home parent, just like what Whitney did. And a lot of people are doing that. Because of how expensive child care is, a lot of people are re-examining, okay, is it even worth me working, right? After taxes and everything is done, you're like, okay, how much are we actually gaining per month? How did your relationship with your spouse change when you became parents? Ooh, that's deep. I mean, naturally, I feel like you have less time together.
But Winston and I are early bedtime, like the kids, it's like seven o'clock still. Like our kids are kind of, I know. That's impressive. We get them going. If it's a big deal, if they're up to late. So we will try to like in the evenings.
have time together, but it's just it is harder. I'm like, when you try to talk to each other, it's like, oh, yeah, people just scream at you and wanting to talk to you. You know what I mean? Like uninterrupted conversation is hard. So I'd say, yeah, there's a level there that changes, but then
On the other end, like, you see your spouse be a parent and it's beautiful. That's true. Roy's laugh. Winston's more nurturing than I am. Like he knows what to do more in like situations that they go to dad a lot more. One more like to Google it. And he's just like, he goes out. He's like, yeah, the, he like, he knows the words that is like not tiling on Advil. It's the other big words behind those. I see the minifand.
I'm like, well, this is that and you can do it every four hours or we can rotate with this because of that. And I'm like, how do you doctor Winston? How do you know about this? So like he knows a lot.
All right, he knows the generic name for some medication. That's what I've gathered. He's what's required for Rachel to be like, you're basically a doctor. If you know the generic name for the top three medications in the world, you're a genius. I am terrible though. Charles broke his leg y'all two summers ago. And I was like, he's like, after it all happened in the incident, I was like, he's fine. And Winston's like, no, he's not. I'm like, babe, I think he's fine. He's like, he's not walking, Rachel. I was like, okay, maybe we should take him in.
broken leg. And then another time, Amelia hit her head on a coffee table and I was like, it's fine. Like, you're okay. You're okay. It's fine. And Winston came home from work and he looked, he was like, Hey, that is really deep. Like, how do you know what's deep? I don't know. She had to get staples. So like, obviously medically not very fine.
Oh my goodness. I know, but it kind of stopped bleeding. I was like, I think you're fine. Wow. I don't know. So the medically inclines, it's not my go to. So to see him step into this role and like, he really does. He like cares for them. He's really good at stuff. Like he knows what to do and all of it. We're all just like. Wow. That's what I would say. How about you? I would say number one, it was deeper because of this shared experience.
And then it also became transactional at first because of the like partnership of just like, hey, what do I need to do? What do you need to do? What do I need to do? It sort of became like a to-do list of, all right, you do this, I'll do this. And there's still teamwork there, but it's not the same as it was before. I'm like, what did we even talk about before we had kids? It just sort of consumes a lot of your life, not in a bad way, but just in a, all the other stuff was just less important that we talked about before. And so we just have to be more intentional once the baby goes down.
How are you doing? What are you thinking about? What's going on? And just also have fun. So I try to always have moments of levity at the house make her laugh. That's sort of my way of becoming a person again. Yes, I love that. Yeah, the levity and the laughter is very important for sure.
OK, George, what's your number one life saver when it comes to affording kids? Oh, my goodness. All the budget is, I think, the thing we always go back to, Whitney and I always go, OK, what's in the budget? What are we planning for this month? What's happening? There's this birthday party. We got to get the decor, the toys. She needs new clothes, all of that. And so that becomes the source of truth to where it's not floating around in our head. And it's not a, wait, you spent what? On what? I didn't know everything is talked about, and the budget is key. And for that, we use every dollar.
And it makes it super easy. We're both logged in and it's a free app. You can go download right now in the app store. How about you guys? Yeah, I would say that that's a big one because I think it dictates and shows, hey, what are we able to spend this month, right? On the kids and knowing ahead of time too. I like it because it also helps with like the schedules.
which sounds silly, but you're like, oh, yeah, soccer signups are there. OK, so that starts in August. And we got to plug it into the calendar. Like it kind of helps with the rhythm of life, too. So yeah, the every dollar app, I would say that. Yeah. Oh, and they can go to everydollar.com slash smart money to get started. And we'll drop a link in the show notes.
And then have a line item for each kid in the budget, we do that too. Very helpful. And so that's helpful too to see, okay, yeah, how much have we spent this month on this kid or that kid? And planning for babysitting. If we know we're gonna have two date nights and you plan for two nights of babysitting and it's in the budget, so it's not a big surprise or a big like, oh gosh, we gotta pay for this. That's right. All right, George, the number one question I always get, we're on kids and money. Should we be at a debt before we have kids? Ooh, the hot take is you don't have to be,
Wherever you are in your financial journey, again, you will figure it out. You'll make sacrifices. Now, is it going to be less stressful if you're in a better place financially? Absolutely. But I don't like this idea of, well, when we get to this place financially, then we're going to be ready.
Because the truth is you're never going to be ready, whether it's emotionally, physically, financially, whatever. So go ahead, have the kid, but also be doing a budget. See how it will affect your life. See where you're going to need to cut back so it's not a giant surprise. But if it slows down your debt payoff, that's totally OK.
Yeah, yeah, big life moments, you know, getting married, having a kid, all of that. Enjoy life like you live once, right? So there is a point of like, these things are important too. So if that's what you want to do is start a family, start a family. But to your point, it's like, yeah, money as a tool in life. And when you have more control over it and even more of it, you know, you have margin, it's not going out the payments. There's going to be places that is going to be less stressful, but don't wait until that point by any means.
Well, another piece of it that's real is some people wait and then they realize, oh, it's taking us way longer than we thought to have a kid or to get pregnant. And that can be a scary thing. And you look back with a regret about waiting so long. And so I just feel like when you're emotionally ready, like you're excited, you have that moment of like, all right, we're going to do this. You just figure it out. Here's the last one that's controversial. Do parents owe it to their kids to pay for college? Whose responsibility is it?
not the parents. I think it's a gift if you're able to do that. It's a blessing, but it's not an entitlement. So no, parents should not be forced to
pay for their kids college. Now, again, it's part of the Ramsey Baby Steps. So again, it's a huge benefit if you can. And it should be a goal when you get to that point, because it just helps your kids out to start on a level foundation financially. But there are ways to go to school debt free. I mean, school choice is always huge going to a community college. There's ways to do it.
Yeah, and a lot of people are doing gap years even. Like there's other things to do around that subject. So as a parent, do not feel like, oh my gosh, I'm just terrible parents. I can't provide this for my kids. They're going to be okay. They're going to be okay.
Yeah, I agree. I think it's your obligation to have the conversation with your kid and student and figure out a plan to go to college debt free. But as far as who's taken what, my plan is to be able to. I think it's a beautiful thing. And even for the grandkids, I think it's a cool life goal to just say, hey, got the grandkids college funded. I'm going to do a lump sum when the kid's born and go,
Oh, that's nice. Grandpa George got you taken care of. Yeah. What are they gonna call you? What's your grandpa name? You know, there's an Arabic name for grandpa that I love. I don't know that. Poppy? Are you just guessing? Poppy? Poppy. Oh, Poppy. No, it's not Poppy. Okay, what is it? It's...
Giddo. Or Giddo. Oh, no. Say it again. So Giddo is like the Syrian Lebanese dialect, a soft G, and a hard G for the Egyptian side, my dad's side. That's Giddo. Giddo. So that's what I hope that my daughter calls. I like Giddo better. Yeah. If I had to pick. And then grandma is Tenta. So Whitney would become Tenta. Tenta.
I like that. Yeah, I like that. So good. I like it better than like me model. I don't know. I'm not southern enough to go there. I know. I had a mammal. You had a mammal. Well, she's passed.
Mamaw, for some reason, feels more authentic. Mamaw? Mamaw sounds like... Mamaw, yeah. Mamaw, mamaw. Mamaw, mamaw. That's very southern. That's very southern. If you give a mamaw or a mimaw, that's a southern. But Whitney's parents, they're going to be called Gigi and Poppy, to your credit. Oh, okay, I felt Poppy in the spirit. That's what it was. And Gigi, she liked it.
My mother-in-law likes that Gigi feels a little younger. Gigi's cute. We're like Graham Graham or something. Yeah, Gigi's cute. What are your parents? Did they go Arabic? Yeah. I mean, Mia can't speak yet, so I think that's- Wait, is it what you just said to me when Mia's saying, oh, I'm sorry. Are you going to adopt the same? I meant your- I would like to. Yeah, okay, okay. That's good. Like Mia's kids, would they call me? Yeah, yeah. I would like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I can't- My grandpa- I don't feel like a grandpa.
I'm going to be like Jeff, my goal is to be like Jeff Goldblum when I'm older, like still be kind of like whimsical and you don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like it all comes down to like if you're a grandpa and you have like cool glasses and you style your hair and your fashion isn't terrible, you're like 25 years younger. Yeah, that's fair. That's totally fair. I love that. But I'm excited to wear suspenders too. Always wanted to try that out.
It was like a big part of being a grandpa. Coming soon, coming soon, George, coming soon. Wow. So good. Okay. So, well, here's the spark notes. If you're at a fork in the road, I would say be honest with yourself about what you want for your life and your money and what your spouse wants and look in the financial mirror and then take the steps to get there. What is the gap? What do we, what must be true for us to take this next step? And then also realize you'll never fully be ready. So if you have some giant checklist of all these things must happen, you'll never have a kid.
Yeah, I think that's fair. And then I think it's also fair to say that there's people today that may be of that age and that longing and want it, right? And it's just not happening right now in life for them, right? Whether maybe they're still single or maybe they can't have kids like we were talking about.
Notice that the whole kid conversation, I think it does carry a lot, right? It's a lot of emotion around this topic, but the more again, when you are in that position to say, okay, yeah, financially, how can we be smart about this and be wise in every aspect of life, I think is key.
And another piece of this is don't alienate yourself, don't alienate your single friends, and bring them into your life. I think a lot of times, or single people feel like, well, they're married now, or they have kids now, so I don't really feel like I'm a part of that. So you have to be really intentional on all sides. Single people married people, and then don't judge each other. The dinks are like, well, you have kids, and the kids are like, people with kids are like, we have a better life than you. I don't like this whole, you know.
Yeah, name calling and other than the fun acronym of dink. I just feel like let's all be kind to each other and realize we're all just doing our best. That's right. We're all living our life. George, you sound like me. What is happening to you? How'd that be all? Oh, dear. All right. Well, Rachel, we are officially in cozy season. I love fall. We're headed into the holidays and I think we could be a little cozier on smart money happy hour. You ready? Yeah.
That's better. Well, George. Oh, my gracious. If you're listening at home, what you're not seeing is a mammoth-sized, over-sized throw blanket from our friends at Cozier. This is literally like a weighted blanket, but it is like the softest thing I've ever felt. It might be made of real mammoth. We don't know. Oh my gosh, this is amazing. Thank you, fall. Thank you, fall. Golly! So, Rachel, we're heading into the holidays, and a lot of people are gonna get some chuggy gifts, as they say.
Yeah. You know, it's played out. You got the socks. You got with the gift card. The candle. We can do better this year. We can. And you know what? Our friends at Cozy Earth have the most incredible products. I actually have their sheets. Yes. And they're using them too. It's like silk. My kids were like, what? What is this? What is this? We got them because it's unbelievable material. My dogs did the same thing without actually talking, but they love it.
They love it. And then I got a pair of joggers, which I love. And then this blanket, I mean, talk. Think about a fire. Think about a Christmas movie on. I mean, all of it in this. That's a better life. Let's be honest. You know how there was like Hot Girl Summer? I think cozy boy fall is, that's...
More my speed. Yeah. So guys, make sure to check out Cozy Earth because honestly, their products, the quality is unmatched. It is so, so good. And we actually have a discount code for our listeners. A great one. Up to 40% off when you use the code smart money, all one word, smart money, you'll get an exclusive discount for being a smart money happy hour listener. In viewer, go to cozyearth.com slash smart money and use the code smart money over there. And you'll get that discount.
so be sure to check them out here's what's really incredible they've a ten year warranty on their bedding i've never seen that my life that's incredible absolutely i've never kept anything for ten years of the fact that i can just get more sheets of something goes wrong cuz he has worked out for george he may take advantage amazing and by the way my wife whitney has been sleeping in their little pajama
situation changed her life. Just wonderful. To be fair, she was sleeping in like old like Ramsey t-shirts. And I was like, she's upgraded. She's upgraded big time. So thank you, Cozy Earth. And if you get a post purchase survey, make sure you told them you heard it on this podcast. I love it. All right, George, should we snap it out? I should snap it away. Okay, here we go. Ready to get on Cozy? Yeah. Sorry. I'm like all cold now. It's about 62 degrees in here. It is true. It is true.
Well, George, it's almost the end of the episode. And we close out every episode with Guilty As Charged. And this is where our producer, Kelly, gives us a new Guilty As Charged question every week. And if we're guilty, we take a sip. Kelly? All right. What's one frivolous expense that you're guilty of splurging on before you had kids?
Oh, absolutely no longer did. Correct. Once kids entered the picture. Right. Vacations? Vacations? That feels like an accurate one. I feel like most things that were for me, like, if you look at our Amazon target,
purchase histories, very few things are for me. At this point, most of it is for the baby. And so I think you just shift your spending away from personal things. But I don't feel like I'm missing out either. It just felt like when you have disposable income and no kids, you're just like, I don't know. I know I bought a pair of shoes, one pair of shoes. It's like,
this brands that I wanted the selfishness. And I was like, and now I'm like, I would never, I never wear them. And I would never, and again, I think it was that before kids, the dink life that you're like, oh yeah, I don't know, that sounds fun. And I, yeah, that's like the one purchase that I think back on. I'm like, that was so stupid. Do you still have the shoes? I do. Uh huh. You still wear them? Nope.
What are they doing? Let's listen. They're a moment of time. You know, we should do. I think we do a whole episode where Rachel just sells her old clothes to smart money, happy out of viewers and listeners.
No, these were like, they had red bottoms, George. Oh. They were very like. I've heard that means something. Yes, they were like fancy designer shoes, which I'd never bought before. I got them actually after my first book. That was like one of the first things I know. I mean, I'm gonna get like a designer purchase and then never again. Wow. I know, but I blame the kids. I also blame, well, you gotta afford Charles King bed.
So I get it. Sacrifices must be made. I think we're both guilty, but they're all things that I don't miss. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. How about you, Kelly? This isn't one splurge, but I used to go to Starbucks every morning. Oh. And then some of my kids are adopted. And when we started the adoption process and my husband,
slid a piece of paper over and he said, this is what your Starbucks daily is costing. And I was like, oh, oh, wow. And how much that went towards, you know, because adoption is expensive. So what did he sacrifice and cut out? He's not a spender. Must be nice. So for him to say, he's not a spender, but it's a treat now, not an everyday thing because it was
I imagine. Are you a curate girl? No, no, because now my husband drinks coffee, I drink coffee, my kids drink coffee. Curate would be too expensive. So, okay, it's a pot of coffee. Pot of coffee. Pot of coffee. I imagine for the ladies, the self care kind of take a back seat.
when you become a mom, like, you know, getting the nails done, like, you know, massages, although when he's back in massage mode, can I say that because of momhood, it is messed up her back to where she has to go to physical therapy. Oh, no. And so I'm like, girl, let's get you that massage. Yes, for sure. At that point. See, those were things that like kept me alive, not massages, but like my nails, my hair.
You still felt like a person. You're like, I'm a person. Yes. Yeah. You know, Whitney just got that she loves now as a mom is a nice set of PJs. Truthfully, she was wearing like, oh, like, you know, she worked at Ramsey for nine years. We have a lot of t-shirts. Every event, I see some around the room. There's a new t-shirt. Totally. So she would get big baggy, Ramsey t-shirts from events and then wear those every night. Totally. And she has like matching PJ sets now and she feels like a whole new person.
That's a grown-up set for sure when you get the matching PJ's set. That's big. So you switch out your old frivolous stuff for new fancy adult stuff. Yeah, I think that's just like age two, not necessarily motherhood. I think that's like, it's an adult. It's an adult thing as a woman. Put on your restoration hardware bathrobe.
I got her that for a great gift. So good. That was a good one. That's fun. Well, if you guys have any fun at guilty to charge questions, make sure to DM us on social because we check home and you give us some good ones, you guys. Make sure to do that. And George, who's finishing first? I think I'm a little closer, just barely. Yeah. It was great. It's melting quickly.
This was a, isn't she lovely? Again, named after producer Kelly. I'm gonna rate this. I'm gonna give it a seven out of 10. Okay. I'm going, I'm going eight out of 10. Wow. Yeah. I really have no bad words for it. I just wish it was a little bit punchier. It's very simple. It's very light, refreshing. I almost want a little more flavor, but I think this is a lovely drink. The cost per glass.
$2.98 a glass. And here's what's in it. It's got vodka, fresh grapefruit juice, lemon juice, elderflower liqueur, blanc vermouth, simple syrup, and club soda. So there's a lot in there, but it all just kind of like melds together in this.
light-carrying effervescent, I think is the only word for it. You know, I always think, like, would I order at a restaurant? I would not order this for dinner. Like, this wouldn't be like a cocktail of like, oh, before dinner, but if I'm at a beach or a pool. Yes. Or what about that? A poolside at like three o'clock. What's the fancy hotel that you've gone to and you felt at a place, the burgdorff or something? I don't know, that was for lunch.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Burgdorffs for lunch. It's a new city. This is a drink you could get at Burgdorffs. It'd be very classy. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And they're sipping that out of Martini. They'll just charge you, my guess, is 10 times the cost. What is it, too? It was $2.98. Oh, yeah. After a tax and 10, 30 bucks. Oh, man. There you go. Recipes in the show notes. Give it a try this weekend.
So great. And if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to check out our episode on why people are having fewer children coming out next. Yeah, make sure to subscribe you guys. We appreciate you watching and listening. And we'll see you next Thursday on an all new episode of Smart Money. Happy Hour.
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