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Dare to Feel: Agnes’s Naked Life | E771

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January 31, 2025

TLDR: Agnes shares how she coped with childhood trauma and guilt by drinking, transitioning from using alcohol in social situations to any occasion. Struggling with unclear decision-making, she got curious about her relationship with alcohol, built new routines, discovered joy in helping others as a coach, and learned to embrace emotions fearlessly.

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In this insightful episode of the This Naked Mind podcast, host Annie Grace talks with Agnes, a certified coach who shares her transformative journey from a troubled relationship with alcohol to a fulfilling life of emotional clarity and purpose. Agnes’s story highlights the profound effects of childhood trauma and the assumptions surrounding alcohol consumption within families.

Growing Up in a Culture of Alcohol

Agnes recounts her upbringing in a European household where the mantra was "work hard, play hard." Alcohol was the primary means of unwinding after a hectic week, creating an environment where its use was normalized. Key points include:

  • Childhood Trauma: Exposure to alcohol-fueled chaos, including domestic violence, influenced her perception of drinking as a coping mechanism.
  • Social Pressure: As a teenager, Agnes turned to alcohol to fit in and combat her insecurities, believing it was essential for social acceptance.

The Turning Point: Recognizing the Problem

Despite initially viewing drinking as harmless, Agnes began to experience moments of deep shame and guilt concerning her habits. Highlights of her journey include:

  • Binge Drinking: Her weekends were consumed by heavy drinking to relieve stress, often leading to regrets and confusion.
  • Questioning Alcohol's Role: During the pandemic, the line between social drinking and dependence blurred, prompting Agnes to re-evaluate her relationship with alcohol.

The Shift: From Numbing Emotions to Embracing Them

Agnes's journey took a pivotal turn when she decided to confront her emotions rather than numb them. This decision led to significant changes:

  • Educating Herself: Agnes found value in understanding the effects of alcohol on her mind and body. She participated in a 30-day alcohol experiment that opened her eyes to the science behind addiction.
  • Finding Community: Support from others going through similar struggles proved crucial as she learned to embrace her feelings and accept herself without alcohol's „assistance".

Building a Life of Clarity and Trust

Agnes discusses the benefits she discovered after stopping drinking:

  • Improved Decision-Making: Alcohol no longer clouded her judgment, allowing her to make clearer, more empowered choices.
  • Rediscovering Joy: Without the need for alcohol, she found joy in her everyday life, stating, "I realized that having clarity and not being so confused opened up so much for me."

Practical Tools for Navigating Social Situations

Adapting to social interactions was challenging for Agnes, but she employed several strategies:

  • Visualizations: She practiced visualizing social events to mentally prepare herself for potential triggers.
  • Handling Questions: Techniques for managing inquiries from others about her not drinking helped build her confidence in social settings.

Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotions

Agnes emphasizes a crucial insight she gained: it’s essential to feel all emotions, whether joy, sadness, or anxiety, without resorting to numbing behaviors. This perspective shift has been transformative:

  • Freedom in Feeling: By allowing herself to fully experience emotions, she discovered personal growth and internal peace.
  • Forgiveness and Healing: Understanding her family’s struggles and forgiving them was a key step in her healing process.

Life After Alcohol: Teaching Others

Now a certified coach, Agnes is dedicated to helping others find their path to emotional wellness:

  • Sharing Her Story: Agnes’s journey serves as a beacon of hope for those struggling with alcohol dependency.
  • Empowering Others: Through her coaching, she empowers clients to recognize their worth and navigate life without the crutch of alcohol.

Conclusion: A Message of Hope

Agnes’s story illustrates that it’s possible to overcome the impacts of alcohol on our lives. By embracing emotions and seeking understanding, anyone can reclaim their life and purpose. Her journey encourages others to:

  • Acknowledge their feelings.
  • Seek help and education.
  • Trust themselves to make the right decisions.

This episode encourages us all to dare to feel and embrace the beauty in our emotions. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you" resonates as a powerful reminder that healing begins with self-acceptance.

For those on a similar path, Agnes’s experience offers valuable insights into reclaiming life and purpose, demonstrating that true strength lies in vulnerability.

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