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    Could This Practice Improve Your Sleep, Sharpen Your Mind, and Decrease Unhealthy Cravings? | Kelly Boys

    enDecember 07, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Understanding the Active Ingredients of Yoga Nidra for Immediate Integration into Life.Yoga Nidra offers a unique way to get out of our heads and into our bodies. By practicing active ingredients in the minutest form, one can improve sleep quality, decrease cravings, and boost working memory. The realization of being interconnected with the universe provides a sense of peacefulness.

      Yoga Nidra is a lying down guided meditation practice that comes from the non-dual yoga tradition. The practice is aimed at getting out of our heads and into our bodies. The mindfulness trainer and author, Kelly Boys, suggests that one does not have to do the whole thing to benefit from it. She extracts active ingredients from yoga nidra, which can be integrated into our lives immediately. Moreover, the practice can help improve sleep quality, decrease cravings, and boost working memory. The practice seems similar to Buddhist practices wherein self is an illusionary concept. However, the fundamental realization of this practice is that you are not separate from the universe. This concept also coincides with the Buddhist philosophy of emptiness and interconnectivity.

    • Understanding the Interconnectedness of Our Existence through Meditation and Yoga.Embracing the concept of emptiness in Buddhism and using yoga nidra can help us detach from our thoughts and recognize the interconnectedness of everything, leading to a greater sense of spaciousness and presence in our lives.

      Through meditation and yoga, exploring the passing nature and emptiness of emotions and thoughts can lead to a realization that the self and world are not as solid as we once thought, and that we can see the interconnectivity and spaciousness of our existence. Emptiness in Buddhism is not a negative thing, but rather refers to the emptiness of self, which allows us to not take our thoughts and urges personally and not be owned by them. Yoga nidra, originating from the non-dual Hindu tradition, involves a conscious awareness that understands the interconnectivity of everything and sees that things are not separate.

    • Understanding Yoga Nidra: A powerful relaxation and healing techniqueYoga Nidra is a lying down meditation practice that aims to maintain conscious awareness while the body relaxes. It has many potential benefits and can be customized to meet individual needs and preferences.

      Yoga Nidra is a lying down practice that incorporates yogic techniques and fundamental philosophy to maintain conscious awareness while the body goes in and out of different states. It can be used for relaxation, better sleeping, and even healing trauma. It was created by Swamee Satyananda and later popularized by teachers like Richard Miller. Though it is usually guided, there are many Yoga Nidra sessions available on YouTube and other platforms. The practice has a close connection with sleep, with the intention of maintaining awareness while falling asleep. It is a form of meditation and can be customized to fit individual needs and preferences, such as mindfulness-based Yoga Nidra.

    • Understanding the Similarities and Differences between Mindfulness Meditation and Yoga NidraMindfulness meditation and Yoga Nidra are similar in practices but differ in the focus. While both aim to improve mental and emotional well-being, Yoga Nidra has broader benefits like resetting dopamine levels, improving memory integration, and enhancing trauma sensitivity from a sense of safety and ease in the body.

      Mindfulness meditation and yoga nidra have similarities such as being aware of emotions, thoughts, mind states, want us to follow our breath, notice sensations in the body and set intentions, but the main differences are mindfulness is more somatic-focused and yoga nidra is broader and starts from wholeness. Andrew Huberman has studied yoga nidra, and it resets dopamine levels, improves working memory, and can help integrate memory. Yoga nidra also improves trauma sensitivity because it begins with a sense of safety and ease in the body.

    • Combining Mindfulness with Yoga Nidra for Deeper Insights in MeditationBy practicing Yoga Nidra in a receptive lying down position, we can tap into the unconscious and integrate its contents into our wholeness. This leads to deeper insights in meditation and a more complete understanding of ourselves.

      Combining the qualities of mindfulness with Yoga Nidra, where the body is in a lying down position, allows for a sense of receptivity and less of a feeling of doing something actively. This is powerful for working with the unconscious and the things that drive us unconsciously that can emerge to the surface when we're in a relaxed state, what Andrew Huberman calls a conscious nap. Yoga Nidra focuses on the contents of consciousness and uses active imagination practices to bring the unconscious to light, interact with the parts, and integrate them into the wholeness of who we are. This allows for deeper insights in meditation, as the parts which were not welcomed earlier become integrated into the whole.

    • The Power of Parts Work in Mindfulness and CompassionPracticing parts work through mindfulness and loving-kindness can help deconstruct core beliefs and emotions. Observing passing states without identifying with them and inviting them into wholeness can lead to acceptance, connection, and peace.

      Being an observer of passing states rather than being fully owned by emotions is powerful. Moving further and being compassionate with these parts is equally important. This is known as parts work. It involves interacting with aspects of oneself that need caring or acceptance and inviting them into the wholeness of who we are. Practicing mindfulness and loving-kindness can help deconstruct core beliefs and emotions. By objectifying an experience, we can interact with it in a positive way. It's important to realize that passing states are not who we are. A simple exercise for physically centering oneself throughout the day can be helpful. Practicing parts work can lead to acceptance, connection, and peace.

    • The Power of Integrating Mindfulness into Daily LifeMeditation can help us accept and integrate different aspects of ourselves, leading to a greater understanding of interconnectedness and a more peaceful mind. With devoted practice, we can tap into the liberating awareness that exists beyond our everyday thoughts and emotions.

      Through meditation, we can personify our core beliefs into parts and welcome all aspects of who we are. By turning our attention towards the awareness of everything that's here, we can gain meditative insights into oneness and interconnectivity. As we recognize that there are different parts of us, we can work with ancient neurotic programs in a friendlier way and integrate meditative insights into our lives. This may take time and may require intense practice to understand and embody these insights. Through meditation, we can see that there is an unnamable, barely knowable aspect of our mind that is simply aware of the whole pageant which can be a liberating experience.

    • The Insight That Changed Kelly Boys' LifeKelly Boys achieved the stream entry stage of enlightenment in old school Buddhism, which means once one becomes aware of the illusion of the self, they can't revert to their old ways of being in the world.

      Kelly Boys stumbled upon a meditative insight which woke her up to the illusion of the self. This awareness couldn't be turned off and she spent time understanding what it means as a lived experience. This is similar to the stream entry stage of enlightenment in old school Buddhism, which is an upgrade of the software that doesn't revert. Once stream entry is achieved, one is inexorably headed towards full awakening. After the stream entry, one gets integrated all the way back down into every nook, corner, and cranny. This knowledge and awareness mean a person can't go back to a more fused way of being in the world, including when there's fusion that occurs.

    • Resting in Awareness: The Art of Distinguishing between Personal and Impersonal EmotionsBy recognizing that emotions are impersonal and learning to rest back into awareness, individuals can avoid getting lost in their emotions. Practicing mindfulness mediation allows individuals to be present, curious, and take spontaneous actions towards whatever arises.

      One can distinguish between personal and impersonal emotions and learn to rest back into a quality of awareness throughout the day. By recognizing that anger is an impersonal coming together of psychic ingredients, not a personal experience, individuals can avoid being lost in their emotions. Practicing mindfulness mediation helps in bringing attention to the whole body and being aware of what's present. By consistently returning back to this felt sense of awareness, individuals can allow everything to arise and pass in their experience without either clinging or refusing. Resting in awareness brings a nervous system down regulation, allowing individuals to be open and curious to whatever arises and take spontaneous actions towards them.

    • The benefits of meditation on the nervous system and perception.Meditation helps create a sense of safety and ease, allowing downregulation to a baseline of wellbeing. This leads to a reliable inner resource that helps us see clearly and focus on what truly matters.

      Meditation helps us see where there is misperception and rest more in clear perception. By working with our nervous system and body, we can create a sense of safety and ease within ourselves, allowing us to quickly downregulate back to a baseline of wellbeing. This creates a reliable inner resource that we can access when triggered, making us more curious about our actual experience and way more likely to see clearly. Through this practice, we are cutting through the mind illusion and bringing attention to the body, which ultimately gives us more choice and agency on the things we want to focus on in life. By getting in touch with the backdrop of our experiences, we realize that it's all playing out against a backdrop of light and sound.

    • Cultivating Inner Resources for ResilienceTo access inner resources during difficult times, practice conjuring up positive images or memories and cultivate a sense of okayness. Practicing regularly can lead to greater ease, wellbeing, and safety when facing life's challenges.

      The ability to connect with a sense of inner resource and resilience is crucial to face life's toughest challenges. Practicing a sense of okayness as a skill is effective in accessing inner resources during turbulent times. A good way to practice this is by conjuring up a positive image or memory, like hugging a loved one, and feeling the correlate of it in the body. The practice of oppposites, which involves going back and forth between the original trigger and the positive image, helps bring one back into a state of compassionate awareness. By practicing these techniques regularly, one can embody ease, wellbeing, and safety, making them more accessible during challenging times.

    • The Power of Opposites and Setting Intentions for Self-TrustBy embracing opposite perspectives, we gain valuable insights and break free from emotional and mental stagnation. Setting simple intentions helps us build self-awareness and fosters personal growth.

      Using opposites can be a powerful tool to get unstuck from emotions and thoughts. By holding opposites simultaneously, our mind can gain perspective and insight, leading us to see beyond our current experience. This practice of opposites can be applied to disappointments and any emotions or thoughts we encounter throughout the day. Setting intentions, although it may seem cheesy, is a powerful way to build self-trust, behavior change, and self-awareness. By setting intentions, we give ourselves the opportunity to check in with ourselves and see how we're doing. It's a way of building a self-trust loop.

    • Setting Intentions for Success and FocusSetting heartfelt intentions and meditating regularly can provide clarity, accountability, and success in achieving goals and identifying unconscious biases. Making it a habit can improve overall wellbeing and productivity.

      Setting intentions is a powerful tool to achieve what's important to you and to stay focused in today's distracting world. One should identify their heartfelt intention and phrase it differently or keep it the same daily. Setting intentions helps to hold oneself accountable and achieve follow-through on goals. Kelly Boys' The Blind Spot Effect explains how unconscious impulses related to core beliefs and emotions make messes in our lives that we don't consciously see, and meditation illuminates where we're misperceiving. Remembering to set intentions can be challenging so making it a habit, like journaling, can help. Embrace the cheesy terms like heartfelt intentions, core beliefs, and purposes as they are powerful in their application.

    • Exploring Core Beliefs and Blind Spots for Growth and UnderstandingBy noticing and exploring our limiting beliefs and blind spots, we can gain greater self-awareness and overcome obstacles that may be holding us back. Yoga nidra can be helpful, but simply being open and willing to explore can lead to growth and understanding.

      Exploring our core beliefs and blind spots can make us more whole, helping us get out of our own way and be better in the world. By noticing the beliefs and thoughts that keep resurfacing throughout the day, we can gently inquire into their origins and see how they may be limiting us. This process can be uncomfortable and require integration, but it can lead to growth and understanding. Yoga nidra can be a helpful tool in this exploration, but even without it, we can work with our core beliefs to gain greater self-awareness and ease into the discomfort that may arise.

    • Understanding Core Beliefs for Personal GrowthInterrogate your core beliefs by questioning their messages, needs, and origins. Understanding what is desired or felt underneath them can lead to growth and positive change. Seek help from others to gain perspective.

      Identifying and interacting with core beliefs can be helpful in understanding oneself better. It is important to ask what a belief message is, what it wants, and needs. Once identified, the belief can become an ally. Core beliefs often hide and relate to lack or deficiency. Having people in your life who can point out your behavior and beliefs can be helpful in starting the interrogation process. The interrogation process involves asking oneself where the belief stems from and what message it holds. This understanding leads to the discovery of what is wanted or felt underneath the belief and can bring about change.

    • Using Yoga Nidra to Make Better DecisionsOur brains can deceive us with pleasure, but using yoga nidra can help us make better choices by quieting the mind and reducing reactivity. Find the right voice and teacher for you to access this powerful tool.

      Our brains are pleasure seeking machines, but that doesn't mean they always make the best decisions. We should question things that feel pleasurable to our brains, but may be completely stupid. It's important to access tools such as yoga nidra to help quiet the mind and make better decisions. Kelly Boys has created resources, such as guided yoga nidra practices on YouTube and a weekly online class, as well as recommended other teachers. It's important to find what voice and style resonates with you when seeking these tools. Access to these resources can help individuals to make better decisions by learning to quiet the mind and be less reactive.

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    • Why passive aggressive people can be the most difficult to deal with
    • The provocative question of whether we are part of the problem when work conflict crops up
    • And, a taxonomy of the eight different flavors of difficult coworkers, including the pessimist, the victim, the know-it-all, and the insecure boss — with tactics for managing each. 




    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/amy-gallo-576

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    How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.   


    Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.


    This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. 


    In this episode we talk about:

    • Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level
    • The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory”
    • The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness 
    • Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships
    • What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)
    • How to reframe social rejection
    • The importance of generosity
    • How to handle conflict with your friends
    • The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships
    • When to walk away from a relationship 
    • How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines
    • How to deal with social anxiety
    • And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561

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    Does Mindfulness Actually Make You Happier (or Better) at Work? | Prof. Lindsey Cameron

    Does Mindfulness Actually Make You Happier (or Better) at Work? | Prof. Lindsey Cameron

    People have mixed feelings about the popularization of mindfulness and meditation over the last 10 or 15 years with some referring to it as “McMindfulness.”


    The critiques can be worthy and the mainstreaming of meditation and mindfulness also have helped millions of people upgrade their lives. One of the many areas where mindfulness and meditation have made inroads of late is the workplace. 


    All sorts of employers are offering their teams access to meditation via apps or in-person training. But does this stuff actually work? Does it really make you happier at work or better at your job? And what techniques produce which benefits?


    Professor Lindsey Cameron is an Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Management. Her research focuses on mindfulness as well as the future of work. She has a 20 year practice, having studied and taught primarily in the Vipassana and non-dual traditions. In her prior career, Professor Cameron spent over a decade in the US intelligence and in diplomatic communities serving the Middle East, Africa, and Europe.


    In this episode we talk about:

    • What companies mean when they talk about mindfulness at work
    • What the mindfulness at work research says and how Prof. Cameron parses the results
    • The ways mindfulness helps us counteract our inherent biases and stereotypes
    • Which specific practices are most beneficial, depending on the situation 
    • Prof. Cameron’s tips for integrating small mindfulness moments into our everyday routines 
    • Where she stands on the whole “McMindfulness” debate
    • Prof. Cameron’s research into the gig economy — and how, paradoxically, an Uber worker can feel a sense of autonomy and freedom even though the work is ultimately being dictated by an algorithm



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lindsey-cameron-577

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    A Radical Alternative to Revenge | sujatha baliga

    A Radical Alternative to Revenge | sujatha baliga

    Very often, when somebody pisses us off, our first instinct might be to plan some sort of revenge even if we rarely, if ever, actually follow through with it. Obviously, the trait of revenge seeking is counterproductive and it happens to also feel terrible. All the great wisdom traditions tell us that we should be forgiving instead and this isn’t just some sort of finger wagging from the morality police; it’s just straight up good advice. It’s in your best interest not to be coiled up inside endless revenge fantasies. Of course, this is all easier said than done.


    Today, though, our guest, sujatha baliga, both says it, and does it. She has an extraordinary story: she was horribly abused by a family member, and then, after an encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, learned how to forgive the seemingly unforgivable. What’s more, she now helps other people do that. Perhaps, starting now, even you.


    sujatha baliga is a long time Buddhist practitioner and internationally recognized leader in the field of restorative justice. She was named a 2019 MacArthur Fellow and is working on her first book. 



    Content Warning: This episode includes multiple references to violent and traumatic experiences, including homicide and incest.



    In this episode we talk about:

    • Her personal story, including her early experience with sexual assault within her family
    • Her life-changing encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, and her experience with learning to forgive with the help of meditation
    • Her experience working in the criminal justice system 
    • Her definition of restorative justice, why she believes we need it, and the three key questions it asks in each case
    • Whether there is evidence that restorative justice works
    • The limits of restorative justice
    • What happens if someone who is the victim of a crime does want traditional punishment or even revenge
    • How you can apply what she’s learned in her life — including her time in the field of restorative justice — to our own lives
    • And a specific meditation practice that can help you do it



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sujatha-baliga-565

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