BONUS: Finding Stillness Amidst The Chaos | Ryan and Samantha Holiday
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January 31, 2025
TLDR: In this bonus episode of The Daily Dad podcast, Ryan and his wife Samantha discuss finding stillness while balancing parenting and business responsibilities. They explore different perspectives on what 'stillness' means to them and how they cultivate it in their daily lives.

In this enlightening bonus episode of the Daily Dad Podcast, hosts Ryan and Samantha Holiday explore the concept of stillness amidst the chaos of parenting and managing a business. The discussion is sparked by a listener's question on how to cultivate stillness in an inherently busy life, especially as a parent.
What Is Stillness?
Ryan introduces the ancient Stoic concept of ataraxia, which means freedom from disturbances, translating this into the more familiar term - stillness. They emphasize how achieving this state is challenging in both the ancient world and today, especially considering modern distractions like social media and the relentless news cycle.
Key Points:
- Ataraxia: The Stoic principle focusing on achieving tranquility.
- Modern Chaos: Acknowledgment of how contemporary life complicates the pursuit of stillness.
Balancing Responsibilities
Samantha shares her perspective as a mother of four, juggling daily responsibilities while running two businesses. The couple discusses their different strategies for finding stillness. Ryan focuses on the necessity of creating physical time for stillness, while Samantha argues that stillness must come from within, emphasizing a mental attitude instead of merely finding time in a busy schedule.
Practical Strategies:
- Flexibility: Samantha emphasizes the need for flexibility in creating routines due to unpredictable family dynamics.
- Identifying Priorities: Ryan mentions recognizing tasks that only he can handle, like content creation, allowing him to delegate less critical tasks to others.
The Challenge of Outsourcing
Ryan points out an interesting observation about prioritizing tasks. He notes that people often hire childcare before hiring help for business-related tasks, which should ideally be the reverse. The importance of focusing on what uniquely fulfills an individual's responsibilities is highlighted.
Reflections:
- Delegate Wisely: Consider outsourcing non-essential duties to free up time for primary responsibilities.
- Reevaluate Priorities: Regularly assess what tasks truly require personal involvement.
The Concept of Revenge Bedtime
Samantha introduces a compelling idea known as revenge bedtime, where parents, especially mothers, stay up late to carve out quiet time for themselves after the chaos of the day has subsided. This reflects a critical need for personal space, but it also raises concerns about its sustainability in the long run.
Key Takeaways:
- Internal Peace vs. External Silence: Finding internal stillness is crucial and doesn’t depend solely on external circumstances.
- Mindful Practices: Emphasizing mindfulness during mundane activities, such as driving, allows one to cultivate a calm mental state amidst chaos.
Creating Mental Space
Both hosts discuss the importance of internal space over external arrangements for achieving stillness. They share personal experiences of how small routines and mindful practices can foster a sense of tranquility.
Tips for Mental Clarity:
- Focus on the Present: Engage fully in tasks at hand, whether driving or managing tasks at home.
- Recognize Mental Clutter: If distractions arise, acknowledging them rather than pushing them away is crucial in achieving clarity.
Support Systems and Acknowledging Help
The episode discusses the significance of having a support system, but Samantha highlights that the mental burden of coordinating help can be daunting. It’s crucial for parents to establish their peaceful routines first before leaning too heavily on others for support.
Important Insights:
- Balance Help with Responsibility: While support is essential, parents should ensure they do not over-rely on others, leading to additional mental strain.
- Teach Children the Value of Stillness: Instilling the importance of quietness and mindfulness in children helps them manage their own chaos later in life.
Conclusion
Ryan and Samantha's conversation illustrates that the pursuit of stillness is not only about finding quiet spaces in a chaotic life but also about cultivating an internal mindset of peace and understanding one’s priorities. This balance is especially crucial for parents, who must navigate their responsibilities while supporting their mental health.
Emphasizing flexibility, clear communication of priorities, and the importance of internal calm are vital steps toward achieving a more centered life amidst chaos. This episode is a vital reminder for all parents seeking stillness in their lives.
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