Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D forts. We have Papa Ganda. We have more shows that we're adding and not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash, dumb blonde podcast and sign up.
Ask until confess Hello everybody Welcome to
I never get old. It's literally my favorite thing. I prepare for that. No, I don't either. I do it in the moment. I'm just a fucking freestyle to free brawl. Well, I am not feeling great today. I've been taking iron supplements, trying to get my fair to levels up, ladies. And let me tell you, it's been a battle. It is not fun. Let me tell you.
Excuse me, Jason, bleep that too, please. Keep it, no. Make wind chime sounds come out. No, it's bad. Your girl's struggling over here. And we had to film a podcast today too. I'm like having hot flashes. My fucking, okay, I give up. It's the dial. It's the little turny thingy. It won't turn either. Oh, that thing. Oh, hello? Still not. It's turned. What did you do to it?
Oh, why are you doing that? There we go. Don't do that. Hello. Don't ever do that. Okay. Hi, we're back. Anyways, please leave that in there. Hi, friends. Jodji, get over here. Come on, man. I'm enrollment around. Always looking down. Would I see painted faces?
That wasn't planned. That was a good one. That's good. All right, who's going to kick this off as talking fast? You got me. Oh, I don't want anyone to take this fucking story. You fucking took the story. I'm going to tell you. There's a start with so. I don't know. Hold on. I got a little cold. I'll tell you right now if it does hold, please.
No, I can't beat me this week, so I'm a I don't know you can't beat me this oh
Ah, challenge accepted. You know what though? I love that as tell it confess has inspired so many other people to do little segments. I've seen pretty big creators copying what we're doing and smaller creators. I love it though. It's awesome. We started to trend guys. We've always done that though. We never get our flowers, but we are always the OGs. Yes. Backs. And I will stand on that stand.
Okay, Charlene said show. I work at a hotel about a three star hotel, nothing too fancy, but not gross either. I'm a housekeeper and girls. Let me tell you what these people leave. This one room left their play toys. Oh yeah, I read this one.
I do not like this. I'm dogging a dildo bigger than your face in a booty plug about the size of your face and condoms. Was it a traffic? Also, our rule is we have to keep items at the guest leaves for three months in a box in the back room. Those sit back there for three months.
Then finally was able to throw it away. The absolute worst room I had to clean. I'd like for you to make your own assumption on what the use was for. I walk into the room and the floor is kind of slippery. There's a nasty shit small man. I'm thinking the toilets clogged. I walk to the bed, pull the blanket back,
and see two 20-ounce soda bottles coated in this white stuff not open. Liquid's still in, sealed not broken, there's a banana unpeeled with the same white stuff. Also, two hangers were broken and coated in this white stuff.
Also, our white sheets now smeared in brown. Smelly stuff. And I got to go back and get a second pair of gloves to put on and get a trash bag to come pull the blanket farther back. There's more bananas. Unpeeled in a can of cooking Crisco oil gone.
I end up throwing all the sheets and blanket away. I go to the bathroom, the door handle is coated in the Crisco cooking oil. Also, the shower hat is detachable because it's handicapped room and the shower head and handles were also coated in Crisco oil. I clean out the fridge and freezer. There's another can of oil in the freezer. This person, male, paid cash for the room. So you had to leave a cleaning deposit that you get back when you check out if nothing's wrong and he never came to get the money back.
So, what do you think was happening in that room? I mean, obviously it was a buttbongo fiesta. They were just having a fuck. What did you say? They were just having a fucking buttbongo fiesta. Yeah. They were having a fucking grand old time leader bottles. I have done some weird shit in hotel rooms. That didn't even phase me. Okay. I'm over here the whole time going.
Chris still will. So this is one time I was with. And we were in it made it into a paparazzi newspaper. I have it or not newspaper. Fucking a magazine.
was there like everybody was there we were all partying Holly Madison was there Chris Angel was there like it was a lot of people in this room they had this huge fucking shower that like I don't know why the palms had this fucking huge hour in the suite but they did it was probably half the size of this room like it was a huge shower
The band members took bottles of like baby oil and put it all over the walls, all on the floor in this bathroom. And like girls were in there just fucking slip and sliding naked. Like it was hilarious. So I mean, you could have a fucking party with some Crisco too. It's the same concept.
You know, and then maybe the tangers. We get very different. Yeah, I feel like maybe something got stuck and they use the coat hangers to try to get it out. Yeah, like a turd. What's the white stuff? Crisco. Yeah, it's OK. Yeah, we need to rise. It's all white and Cisco's white. Yeah. Look at that. Poor bananas. Yeah. Oh, what if that got stuck?
Because you know, once it mushes, there's not really much. And that could be why the toilet was clogged. Getting it out. You shit out bananas. Yeah.
Uh, I could not, I could not work. I could not work out. No, you couldn't pay me. I wouldn't clean that. I would quit my job. This is a fucking health hazard. Get your dollars up with dollar up on draft Kings Casino. Hit the reels for a modern take on old school styled slots. New players could play five bucks to get a spin on the mystery wheel for a shot at up to 1000 in casino credits, download the app and sign up with code bunny B U N N I E. Then play dollar up exclusively on draft Kings Casino.
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As a bag, as a bagpiper, I play mini gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends. So the service was to be at a popper cemetery in the Kentucky backcountry.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers in the crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave, looked down, and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I never played before for this homeless man. And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept. I wept. We all wept. When I when I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car, though my head was hung low and my heart was full.
As I was opening my door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, sweet mother of Jesus. I've never seen nothing like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years.
Stop it, what the fuck now? What? He thought it was a coffin, but it was a septic tank. Was it in the graveyard? They had dug a hole to put the septic tank in, and then dude thought it was the homeless man's grave site.
Stop. Why did they cry? Have you ever heard bagpipes play? They will evoke emotion, dude. Man, when we went on our family vacation recently, someone just started playing him outside of our hotel to the sunset. He was just in shorts. Right in the bagpipes. It's emotional. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. You've clearly never heard them. You know what? We're hiring a bagpiper.
her birthday this year, you're going to get woken up with a fucking bagpiper. I'm changing the lot code. No, no. We're going to be in your car. Yeah, just in the backseat. Stuck flag. God. I would never talk to you guys again.
Could you imagine? All right. I'm waking up early on my birthday this year. I'm going to be like this. I'm waiting. Oh, you think we're going to do it on the actual birthday? No, it's going to be fun here. It's going to be like for like a quince and yeta. I was in Raising Cane's the other day, and she had a quince and yeta in Raising Cane's. That's fucking fire. Olivia goes, what a queen. It's a queen. Close. Yeah, close. I love that.
Yeah. And that's how I would have done. If I had one. Little jealous. Listen. Your parents are doing it right if you're having a fucking quinceanetta at raising hands. Raising canes. It was great. Anybody else having hot flashes? Because I am. Yeah. Got a goal over here. Perfect.
I like your hoodie. Thank you. Yeah, it's cute. What is it? What is that? It's like it's my Laverne and Shirley patch. Oh, yeah. I know you should definitely go on TikTok and just post it. Well, I've got 500,000 views. I feel like we should drop them early. They're not made at those were samples. Well, put them on back orders. She texts me. She goes, everyone loves these. I said, what?
Go on TikTok, she already unpackaged him, put him on TikTok. Was it nobody told me I couldn't? I said, okay. That's all I comment. You're like, oh, we're just gonna share secrets. All right, I can't say this person's name.
I was hooking up with this guy. He went down on me and he bit my clip. No, I spent the weekend in the hospital after having to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding because he popped a blood vessel. He was arrested while I was in surgery and it's been almost a year and I still don't have total feeling back in my area down there.
Why the fuck would he do that? Was he being mean or did he think he was being sexy? Was it like? The fact that he was arrested, I feel like it was maybe mean. I feel like it was maybe a girl. I already have to bite. Oh. I couldn't imagine my fucking pussy just tied itself in an eye.
Like there's no fucking way. We'll just go up and left. Mine's inverted. Okay, it is fucking. It's literally just skin now. I don't even have a fucking person at all. We don't. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Yeah, that one was short, sweet to the point. I appreciate you for sharing that. Sweet about that.
That's rough. I feel sorry for you, dude. I know you don't have any nerves you have in your fucking clit, dude. And now she doesn't have the feeling back. Oh, I'd fight a motherfucker, dude. That's all we got is that little bean, man. That's all we got. That's all we got. That's the magic bean, man. What does that fucking fairy tale Jimmy and the Beanstalk? Okay, but also, right? What is it called?
No. What is it called? James of the Giant. No, that's James of the Giant Beach. Oh, what is it? You know, Jack the fucking Beanstalk, dude. Don't be kidding. Jack clearly fucked up the Beanstalk. That is terrible, dude. Oh, God.
How do you fix that? How do you- Did she probably have PTSD? I don't know. I don't know. She probably has PTSD, bro. Like, that's rough. That's so sad. I feel really good for you. I'm so sorry for you. Whoever you are, man. That's my fucking prayers are with you. Thoughts and prayers. Fuck. RIP your clit. God. Yeah, that was mine. That's the one you thought was going to beat my fucking bagpipes? Yeah. No.
Bye. Bye. No, not at all. You got your other one? I got, I got two fucking hammers. Oh, I have one. Oh, one's a question. Okay, go ahead. Do a question. This is for all of us. What's our view on attachment styles and have you read up on your own attachment style?
I read that one too. I almost chose that. Nice. Nice. I don't know what that is. I mean, I kind of know what it is. I think I have an avoidant attachment style attachment style. You would probably have an avoidant attachment style too. What is you? You are fucking codependent and very attached to people. But the problem is, yeah, once they love you back, they need like two people.
Well, the two that I've seen you have fucking been a cling on with the two. Oh, we're talking about just be me. No, I'm talking about. And who is the other one? There was one more, I forget, but you were like, and just would not be without them. Yeah. Oh, God, who's the other one? There was one more. I can't think of it right. Oh, uh,
What we'll have to get back on that one. I forget. There was another one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now. Yeah. Oh, dude. I crown him so bad. It's bad. Well, I mean, he kind of ruined it for himself. Yeah, as the water gun. Yeah.
It'll fuck it. It just takes one thing for a guy. One thing. A man can put you through fucking hell. Yep. And you literally will tolerate it, tolerate it. And then they do one like weird hand movement or like, I don't even know. Yeah. And fucking, that's it. It's over with. Have you guys seen the like, the list of X, right? Yeah. And the guy is like in like he snorkeling or something? He's like, don't snorkel.
toes are under the water. Trying to keep them afloat. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I see. Or the guy that was like bouncing on trampolines in his feet when you bounce was like, No, no, you can't do that. I get to. Or when they wrap their toes around a like chair rail. I can't do it. I can't do it.
But as far as attachment styles, I do think there's truth to them. I don't know enough to like preach on them though. I know. Yeah. Is there a test we can take? There is. There's a bunch of things. I feel like I've tested for everything else but that. Let's all take the test. Yeah. We'll take it back to you on that. I mean, it's definitely not a void attachment. No, mine is a touch me. Yeah. I want to touch like I attach and want to touch you and hug you and kiss you and smother you. Yeah. That's my thing. We like that. Yeah. Wow. That's what I did.
Uh, let's listen to a voicemail. It's only one minute long. Thank God. I made sure to tell everyone one minute short and sweet. Short and sweet, baby. Yes, I just wanted to call in and tell a story that happened to me and my wife the other day. It was the other morning, actually. So we got a new puppy. The puppy, it puked in the bed.
And then my wife cleared up in the middle of the night, which is great and fun. Well, then the next morning, we made very passionate love. It was great and amazing. And then after we were done, I went and got at the town to clean everything up, which I didn't know what my wife used to clean the puke up with. So I just grabbed the first callus off and went back. There's my wife still just sitting there in a birthday suit.
And then she's cleaning herself up and all that kind of good stuff. And I saw like little like pieces and like chunks coming out and then it clicked. She's using the towel that we cleaned the puke up with. So now she's got puke on her from the dog. And then I asked and she's like, where did you get that towel? I got it in the bathroom and then she clicked to her. And then I was like, yeah, I think you need to go get a shower now.
That's fucking hilarious. I love it. Whoever that is, I love him. God. He's awesome. He said, that's it. Thank you for the chunks. I would say. You guys, that is so disgusting. I would throw up. Yeah. Oh, not puppy puke. Puppy puke's the worst. That was a good one. That was a good story. Oh, that was really good. It was really good. I actually had a
situation where one time I was like, you know, like when you're laying in bed and fucking all, you know, you're waking up and you're discombobulated or whatever, I was so drunk the night before and I woke up and I was so parched, like I just needed water terribly, right? So I reach next and get a water bottle.
And fucking, this is before I was doing the crack thing. And I go on, I drink, and when I swallow, I feel like a big ass just slimy something, go down my throat. And when I did it, my ex was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's the fucking bottle that I spit a lugeon last night.
Yeah, it was just terrible. Imagine how I felt, bitches. It was fucking rough. I'm gonna throw up. Yeah, it was bad. It tasted like a swallowed an oyster.
That was the worst story ever. Just had to share. I've got more where that came from. Let's end it. I'm done. We'll see you guys next week. Bye.
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