About Polar Explorers: How do you survive in Antarctica alone?
en
January 29, 2025
TLDR: Our guest today is Louis Rudd, the first and only person to traverse Antarctica twice using human power alone. Sharing stories of survival, near death experiences, freezing temperatures, and unknown facts like there are two South Poles. To learn more about Louis, visit his website.

In today's episode of Things People Do, hosts Joe Mahler and Tom Fordyce engage in a fascinating conversation with Louis Rudd, the first person to traverse Antarctica twice using nothing but human power. The discussion dives deep into survival stories, extreme challenges faced in freezing temperatures, and the unique experiences that come with being a polar explorer.
Key Takeaways from the Episode
Here are some of the key highlights from the episode:
What is Polar Penis?
- Louis humorously introduces the term "polar penis," a medical condition that refers to the dangerous cooling of certain body extremities (a well-known issue among polar explorers).
- The condition can occur when skiing in harsh Antarctic conditions, where temperatures can drop to as low as -40°C.
- Louis shares a story about a teammate who suffered from it during a crossing of Antarctica, making for a lighthearted yet insightful discussion about the realities of survival in extreme conditions.
The Journey of a Polar Explorer
- Louis shares his childhood inspiration for becoming a polar explorer, which stemmed from reading a children's book about Captain Scott's expedition to the South Pole.
- He highlights the mental resilience needed for such journeys and how this type of exploration requires significant preparation, logistics, and physical training.
The Harsh Reality of Antarctica
- Life in Antarctica isn't just about breathtaking views—it's fraught with challenges:
- Extreme Temperatures: Louis mentions the dangers of operating in conditions as low as -80°C.
- Physical Demands: Traversing the icy terrain demands skiing uphill for significant stretches, as the South Pole sits nearly 3,000 meters above sea level.
- Navigation Perils: The discussion of crevasses, which are massive cracks in the ice, underlines the constant danger explorers face. Louis explains the necessity of careful route planning and navigation.
The Importance of Mental Strength
- Louis emphasizes how crucial mental fortitude is during long solo journeys. He describes moments of deep introspection and near isolation, noting the psychological strain such an experience can entail.
- The expedition takes a toll not only physically but also mentally, as Louis recalls moments where he doubted his decision to be out on the ice alone.
Practical Skills and Survival Techniques
- Louis details the practical skills required for survival:
- Melting Snow for Water: Since carrying water is impractical, explorers melt snow for hydration.
- Food Preparation: He discusses the use of freeze-dried foods and how he manages his nutrition across such long trips. By pre-packaging his food in manageable ten-day supplies, he finds a method to stay fed and motivated.
Reaching the South Pole
- The excitement of reaching the South Pole is palpable in Louis's voice. He explains the mix of emotions he felt when arriving there, including a sense of accomplishment and awe at the raw beauty of the landscape.
- He also highlights the experience of time travel at the South Pole, where one can stand in multiple time zones simultaneously.
Final Thoughts
The episode concludes with a reflection on the awe-inspiring but harsh world of Antarctica. Louis Rudd's stories not only offer a glimpse into the realities of polar exploration but also inspire listeners to appreciate the fragility and majesty of our planet.
Key Insights to Remember:
- Preparation is Critical: Understanding the risks and preparing for them can make all the difference.
- Mental Resilience is Key: Maintaining a strong mindset is crucial for overcoming physical and psychological challenges.
- Nature's Raw Beauty is Unparalleled: The breathtaking landscapes of Antarctica are a reminder of our planet's wonder, making it worth every hardship.
Listeners are encouraged to dive into this episode for deeper insights and stories that illustrate the extremes of human endurance in one of the most remote places on Earth.
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This is a crowd podcast. We climbed Antarctica's highest mountain together and he did it dressed in a sexy sailor girl outfit.
Hi, I'm Joe Mahler and I am Tom Fordyce and this is Things People Do. Some people do amazing things on this show. We meet zookeepers, politicians, astronauts and some people who do other things like
recruitment. Cheesemakers. Drainage engineers, because everyone is interesting if you ask the right questions. See, I used to hate people, but this podcast has changed me and now I can't get enough of people and the weird and wonderful things they do. You like two things that's wearing and homo eroticism. Those are the things you're off to.
It's normally bits of bodies that you can see and their state of the body. The state of the body. The state of the bit of the body that you're seeing. It's like a big engine valve, but it's small. On the show today. Hi, I'm Louis and I'm a polar explorer. And then when you're still at the South Pole, you can time travel. So you're on one side, you're in yesterday, go on this side, you're today, go on the other side, and you're tomorrow. So what you're saying is, if I want to lose weight...
I've got to go on. I'm a celeb or... Skeeter South Pole. Can't stop saying polar penis now. Say polar penis. Polar penis. Wow. I wonder if he's ever got frostbite. Good question, Joe. I want to know what he found when he actually got to the South Pole. We will ask him. Welcome to Things People Do.
Hello, Louie. Hi, Joe. How are you? Very well, thank you. Excited to be here. Joe and Joe, I thought we were going to do this whole episode, shivering. What do you mean? That's what we agreed just about 10 minutes ago. That'd be really cold. Then I met Louie, and then I shook his hand. His hand's quite cold, actually. I don't think that negative weight. Usually people go, oh, he's got such a cold hand.
Lee might have to be straight back from the Antarctic, no wonder his hands are cold. OK, but I have... I've got a cold presence in the room since you've joined, actually. So that's why I'm wrapped up. I'm wrapped up warm. So I describe the warmth that you've gone for here, Joe, because if I look solely at the top, you have got polar explorer vibes because you have, I think, my favourite jacket of yours on the hoodie's up. It's a good look. I know it's a good look, but for the purposes of the... Do you know what a cool look is?
Get me into the cool chat with others before. It's a nice coat. It's a nice cool cool. It's a nice cool cool hoodies up. The cap is down. Your beard has elements of polar explorer because I think it would take a frosting very nicely. Yeah. The effect is then reduced somewhat by the fact you've got bare hands in your pockets and your own shorts. Yeah, okay. But waist up is great. Waist up? Where did I survive in the?
Arctic like this? No, probably not. I think the shorts. You don't wear shorts. There's actually a condition called polar penis. You've started this podcast in exemplary fashion. In Antarctica, that's a real thing and I had a teammate that had it. And yeah, and it caused him real problems. That's a great story.
Right, you've said that polar penis. We need more, Joe, don't we? And I do need more, but I also think of polar penis as well. Yeah, I've got polar penis. What have you got, polar penis? Well, polar polar bears are renowned for being massive, aren't they? It's just what I'm assuming this is. But you meant yours was like a little ice polo.
Really good. Louis, please tell us more about polar penis. You've just dived straight into polar penis. We didn't even tear them up for polar penis. Can't stop saying polar penis now. Say polar penis. Polar penis. Polar penis. Pleasing to say polar penis. It's pleasing pona-pona. Pleasing pona. Fuck it. Please my polar penis. I will not. Louis, over to you. So it's a genuine thing. I haven't just made that up. It's a recognised medical condition and it's...
Only effects guys, and it's where your appendage gets super-cooled, and it happens if you're generally skiing into a really strong headwind in Antarctica, and you could be a minus 40 degrees centigrade, then wind chill on top of that, and you're just wearing base layer and sala pets, and then that part. Why is your knob out?
You know, it's not out. It's an extremity, isn't it? It's like, because it's like, it's like tips of fingers and toes that people would talk about, get frostbite. It's the same, it's an extremity. So it can get super cool. And I had this teammate, we were skiing, we were doing this thousand mile crossing of Antarctica. And this lad, Alex, yeah, this one particular day, strong headwind, it got in a really cold down there. And then he stopped and he said to me, he goes, oh, you know,
The old John Thomas is getting a bit super cool. It's quite painful. So we improvised, said, right, just stuff, a load of wooly hats down the front of your salad pets just to try and give you a bit of shielding. And that was enough to get them through till we got the tent up that evening. But we got in the tent that night and checked it out.
had a look and it was quite red and inflamed and it definitely taken a little bit of damage. But what happened was he was actually the son of an MP and there was quite a lot of publicity around this expedition.
Sun newspaper. Where the fuck is this going? You'll see, you'll see. And that night, it was his turn to do the audio blog. So we were calling back to the UK on a satellite phone and just talking about the day and there was six of us and Alex has turned that night. So he gets on the satellite phone and he just talks about the day and he says, oh, and by the way, I had a bit of an incident today. I got a mild bout of polar penis.
And that goes out in the evening. Next morning, front page of the Sun newspaper, MP Sun loses penis in Antarctica. Loses penis. And like, completely like, blows it out of proportion. Alex's mum is out walking down her local high street. And next morning, doesn't know anything about this. Hasn't seen the audio blog. Hasn't seen the newspaper thing. And one of her friends spots her and comes rushing across the road. And it's like, Kate, Kate, I'm so sorry to hear what's happened.
What? What's the matter? She has your son. He's lost his penis in Antarctica. And she's like, oh my God. And like runs home in a mad panic to find out. No, he hasn't lost his penis in Antarctica and he's just got a bit of a mild bout of polar penis. And following night, we had to get him on the phone to his mum to reassure him. Still here? He was... I'm touching it now, mum. That means no to that. All okay.
Right, let's rewind from polar penis and go to the sentence from your website that says, Louis is the first and only person to have traversed Antarctica twice using human power alone. Need to break that down for me? First of all, what in the fuck is a polar explorer? Why are you going to this cold place? Is there anything there to explore? Why is it what got you into being a polar explorer?
I was actually inspired by a children's book when I was at school, so I was about 11 years old and just started at secondary school, Spaulding Grammar School over in Lincolnshire. I wasn't the best behaved of kids, if I'm honest, and I'd already got myself into a spot of bother with their maths teacher.
I didn't get on with and he'd sent me to see the headmaster and I was going to get cained because it was my like third or fourth. Sorry, how old are you? 11. No, no. Oh, now. Fucking hell, you're 11, damn. How old are you now? 55. Fucking hell, you used to get cained. Yeah. Yeah, still didn't cainy when I was, yeah.
And yeah, so anyway, got sent to see the headmaster. Never been cained before and I was, you know, pretty anxious, as you can imagine. And I was sat in a small reception room outside the headmaster's office. And I think it was like a deliberate ploy to build up a suspense that had been sat there for like good 15, 20 minutes. And I think he was dealing with somebody else as well. And I was just sat in there, like, you know, cacking myself and
Off to the side, there was a small bookshelf without paying any particular attention. I just grabbed a random book as a form of distraction. The book I picked up, it was a small ladybird book. Can you remember those little ladybird books that we're kicking around and it was called Captain Scott. I picked it up and it was this whole story about Captain Scott.
and his men and their epic journey to be the first team to get to the South Pole, and it was all like drawings in there, and you know, and the narrative. And I just remember like flicking through this book and just being absolutely mesmerized and amazed at this proper like boy's own adventure and kind of realizing, yeah, this is a true story. And at that point, I'd never, it wasn't covered in the school curriculum, I'd never heard of Antarctica. Didn't know Polar Explorers was a thing, never heard of it. And I was just completely fascinated and I'd kind of finished it, the book.
skimmed through it for a went in and I was like, right, you know, that is what I want to do. I want to be a polar explorer. I want to go and see Antarctica and experience this place. And I think it changed my perspective as well. I kind of, I guess, was probably without realizing it. The first time I became aware of, I guess, mental resilience and how you view something. And I kind of steeled myself when I went in there and I was like, right, if I want to grow up and be a gnarly, hardcore polar explorer, I need to be out of cope with getting, you know, whacked on the arse by the headmaster.
And what should I do? If I've been really smart, I should have stuck the book down the back of my pants. That would have been a good one. I didn't think of that. But then he would have gone, oh, what an odd-shaped arse. Tanger-esque, yeah. Really quite firm, actually. We'll just fucking get on with it. I've got the Antarctic to explore your twat. Then you would have been expelled, probably. Joe, what were your early experiences of
The myths and the mysteries of the Antarctic, of the polar regions. You're watching films, read some books. Tom, I don't really have much knowledge on this area growing up, apart from Pingu. Which is based on a true story, so it's not far off. Pingu, the series, is based on a true story. You two are fucking hell.
I remember there was a TV show in probably the mid 80s and it was a dramatisation of the race to the South Pole between Scott, Open Brackets, GBR, Close Brackets and Amazon, Open Brackets, Norway, Close Brackets. And at that age, Louis, it was so dramatic, slash terrifying, slash alluring. Certain things still stay in my memory. The captain notes a bit,
Yeah. In fact, Louis, you describe the Captain Oates bit because... So Captain Oates, he was a member of Captain Scott's team. So this is 1911 and they're down in Antarctica. Sailed down there and Scott and his team, they get to the South Pole, but they're beaten. They get there and find a small black tent with a Norwegian flag flying on top and realise they've been beaten in this epic race to be the first to the South Pole.
But they've got to turn around now and ski 900 miles back to their ship on the coastline. And there's five of them. And at various points on the return journey, they all perished. Captain Oates, he got really bad frostbite in his feet during that return trip. And he felt like he was slowing Captain Scott on the others down and jeopardizing their chances of reaching safety in the ship. So in the tent, in the middle of a raging blizzard, and it was also his birthday,
turned around to Captain Scott on the other guys in the tent and just says, guys, I'm going outside. I may be sometime. And then walked out of the tent, never to be seen again. And basically just went and laid down and died and gave up his life in the hope that the others can make better progress. Like, you know, and again, reading about that as a young boy, just massively inspiring. This is like ultimate act of, you know, selfless commitments. Fucking hell. Yeah. Let's say Joe.
You, me, producer Ryan, old producer Steve, we're in that scenario. We've gone for the South Pole, we get there and we find that a rival podcast has been the first podcast ever broadcast from the South Pole. On the way back, we're all suffering from frostbite, we've all got basically different levels of polar penis.
Which of the four of us? Yeah, I've got fucking megapolar purpose. Oh, that's not a good thing. Which of the four of us is most likely to do a Captain Oats and say, I'll go in that sight at maybe some time to make the other three live? Is there any other... Is it any of our birthdays? Because obviously it was birthdays. Do I need... Yes. OK, whose birthdays is it? It's Ryan's.
It's Ryan's birthday. So one of us needs to leave so we can survive. Ryan, Steve's one of the originals, isn't he? It's me, you and Steve at the start. Ryan came in. Steve's sort of already dead to me now.
because he really doesn't give a fuck about our show, but also there's a bit to him. So maybe I could eat it. Have we got any bits of kit that I could can chop any of them up? Spoon. Spoon. Gowjow and eyeball with a spoon. Okay, Ryan, what do you like with Shoshirai's crit? Tasty.
I don't miss a bit of meat on Ryan. It's meat in there. You're athletic. You're fit. You'll keep going. Ryan's all right. He's not good for Steve, is he? He's sent me athletic. Steve, he had his chance to show me his athleticism. I paddled the other day and he bottled it. So it's probably me or Steve that need to give it up. And me being the gen that I am, I just fucked Steve off out.
Yeah. I might chop one of his legs off to keep and then just fuck him off out the tent and leave him. But you've got to be some guy to actually go. I'm going to give up. Although saying that, I love the cold. But it's just a bit of a tangent, but I love the cold. This is cold, cold. Yeah, but I like the cold, cold, cold, cold.
Well, how cold are we, colded? Minus 40 degrees centigrade, so... It's pretty fucking cold, that. Yeah. I was thinking maybe like... Just... I mean, Antarctica goes down in the winter, not when, you know, I'm there doing anything, but minus 80 degrees centigrade. So that's the kind of temperature, if you take your goggles off, if you were down there, and those temperatures and the fluid in your eyeballs is gonna start to feel a bit slushy. Oh, fuck! No, no. Actually, that's too cold for you. That's too fucking... How are you?
There's a question we've had from one of our patrons here, Louis, and I was going to save it. But Chris Smith says, taking a shit in the Arctic slash Antarctic, challenging question mark, frost bit and ask question mark, how are you coping with dodgy guts and frozen bog paper, semi colon, which is nice to see. Surely that dehydrated food goes straight through you.
Yeah, going to the toilet is challenging. There's been times where I've stopped for a pee and had my back to the wind and I've noticed as I'm peeing that my urine is turning to yellow ice crystals before it hits the deck. It's like minus 35, 14 with wind chill. The urine's coming out and I can see it as it's hitting the ground. It's just blowing away as yellow ice crystals. That's quite cool in some way.
Those typical boys, it would be like, fuck it, now this is great. Like, how close can you get it for it to keep freezing up just before it hits the bendy and old? I mean, you're just like, surely actually, an efficient way to stay warm in that is you just push your pants. That would work for about the first 10 seconds, wouldn't it? And then you're wet and cold, so yeah.
I haven't thought of that one through.
What about? Yeah, going for a shit. Yeah. So that is like a quite a involved operation. So generally you try and go while the tent is up is, you know, you don't want to be going during the day when you're skiing because when you've got all that kids on getting access and going is just epic. So yeah, I kind of trained myself to go first thing in the morning before I left the tent. So a tent would still be up. I'd get like fully prepared and I'll dash outside just in my thermal leggings. I didn't have to get loads of layers off.
big down jacket, you know, hat, gloves, goggles, shovel, and then you dig a hole, and this is what you have to do to, you know, look after the environment and stuff, because you can't leave any rubbish behind other than bodily waste. Dig a hole, squat down, go as fast as possible, and because as I was
Doing I was there for two and a half months on my own skiing across the continent. I didn't I didn't actually carry like loads of toilet paper So what I would do those chunks of snow that I dug out from the hole. I would use those to wipe Are they quite grippy? Yeah, I mean it was great for cleaning minute. It's like quite bracing as you can imagine Don't that back in the holes and I just use a tiny bit of tissue then just to dry myself
And then backfill the hole, but yeah, I went with this guy a few years ago. I guided an ex-parashoot regiment officer. Took him down, I was guiding him because he was, he'd been shot in Afghanistan by a sniper and he was paralyzed in one arm. So he asked me to ski with him 700 miles to the south pole.
And he was trying to go outside and obviously do all that thing with one, the use of one hand. And he very nearly got frostbite in his arse. He sat there with his arse exposed to like minus 35 with wind. And obviously it would take him a lot longer. So he was exposed so much longer and almost got to the point where I was maybe going to have to give him a hand like, you know, and help out because he was becoming a
a serious problem for him not to do it all with the use of one hand. So it's challenging going for number two and then you dash back into tent, get warmed up, get all your proper gear on and then off you go for the day.
This episode is sponsored by... Thanks can only get Becker. Yes, it's Josh Becker. To be more like Josh, go to patreon.com forward slash things people do, become an official sponsor, get bonus consent, and grow the show today.
Right, let's get into your trip then. I just don't know where, where do you even start? But first of all, hang on, what's traversed? So traverse is, if you go basically get dropped on one side of Antarctica, either on the coastline or on the edge of an ice shelf on Bell and the edge of the landmass, ski to the south pole, which would then be halfway, and then carry on across.
to the opposite side of the continent and get stitched up from the far side. You ski, you're on skis the whole time, yeah. But as in flats, it's flat. How are you flat skiing? It's actually all the way to the South Pole, it's uphill. So the South Pole is at nearly 3,000 meters altitude. Because basically in Antarctica, you've got a huge rock continent, twice the size of Australia, absolutely vast. But then you've got an ice sheet on top of the rock continent. It's four kilometers thick when you're at the South Pole.
Four kilometers thick, yeah, built up over millennia. So you'd have to dig down four kilometers before you got to the rock continent below you. It's just built up, yeah, so it's an incredible place. So yeah, so going to the pole, you're going from Mobsey sea level up to just under 3,000 meters. So it's a gradual uphill climb, whole way to the South Pole. And then the center of Antarctica is a vast Antarctic plateau. So it's pretty flat in the central areas. Then as you get towards the coastline, there's vast mountain ranges.
and all sorts of topography down there, so yeah, incredible place and that's why I keep going back. Joe, the fictionalised account of the race between Scott and Amerton, that I referred to earlier, the next thing, apart from Captain Oates going outside for a certain period of time, was the crevasses. They all talked about these crevasses. So, Louis, talk us through what a crevasses and why it's as terrifying as it is.
Yeah, so crevasse is like one of the biggest dangers for polar explorers and mountaineers in the Alps, etc. And they're basically giant cracks in the ice sheet. So all of the ice in Antarctica is moving. The whole thing is flowing from the centre of Antarctica, you know, under gravity down towards the coastline and then calves off as icebergs.
As the ice flows over the rock continent below, there's valleys and mountain ranges, so it speeds up and slows down. So this change in speed of the ice causes these big cracks. And then what happens in Antarctica, you get some snowfall and it lightly covers over these giant cracks, so you can't see them.
So you're skiing along and then essentially you're on a snow bridge without even realising it and then it can just give way and you could just fall into this yawning chasm and some of them in Antarctica you could throw this whole studios into some of them and then they'd be gone.
They're huge. They're like deadly. There's no way of getting out of them. It depends. If you're in a team and you're in a high crevasse area, then you'd be on a rope. So you'd all be roped up. So if one team member fell in on the end of the rope, you then got a crevasse rescue drill where you hold them out and you can set up a police system and get people out.
But was that one team members quite a weighty member? And then all of you down there with? Well, the idea being for the enough of you that you can halt the arrest straight away, you fall on your side, dig the skis in, you kind of practice this stuff. But the big risk, obviously, with what I did was solo.
So you did it completely alone? Completely alone for two and a half months. If you fall down a crevasse solo, then that's all game over. So that's the big risk. How did you go about avoiding a crevasse then? Yeah, so I did a lot of research about the route that I was proposing to cross. And I tried to, I was weaving around. I couldn't ski a straight line towards the South Pole. Because in between me and the South Pole where I started, I knew there was some high-risk, huge crevasse areas from my satellite imagery.
scientific studies, so I had to weave around and box around areas, but it doesn't completely negate the risk and crevasses change and move. Had you done it with people before? You went alone. You didn't just go, I'm going to be a polar explorer, I'm going to do it on my own. I did my very first trip. I went with quite an experienced guy who was serving in the SES with, he was a Lieutenant Colonel.
a guy called Henry Worsley and he'd been down before and I kind of I guess I learned all the dark arts of polar travel from I did a two and a half month ski with with Henry from the coastline and we retraced we talked about Captain Scott earlier we retraced the Norwegian route
Which was shorter. Yeah, slightly shorter. And we raced against three mates. So three mates started at Captain Scott's Hut. Me and Henry started where the Norwegians had started. And over a satellite phone link, we went on your marks, get set, go. And then we hung up. And then we didn't speak to each other, no communication for two and a half months. And we raced 900 miles and see who'd get to South Pole first. Do you win? Yeah, we did, yeah.
Did you, what did you do because Scott and, well certainly Amazon, he made forward missions before he did his final push, didn't he, and he established feel and approach. Yeah, he's dropping the same thing. Yeah, so we didn't, yeah, so hour. You carry everything, we're dragging everything. Yeah, so we just got dropped by. Look, you know, you've got a set of skis. Yeah. I'm, I'm guessing two poles. Yeah, two poles. See your hands. Yeah.
I don't get it. I've never been skiing. Is that a ski joke? Yeah. Probably don't need a lift pass in Antarctica, but yeah. So you've got these two poles, two skis. Yeah. I'm guessing, well, fucking hell, there's two of you for two and a half months. Yeah. And then we're dragging behind as a sledge. And then that's that weight of that when it started was 120 kilograms of food. And so you're dragging only a few months ago.
What's in that kit there? What's in that 120 kilo kit? So we had food for 75 days. What sort of foods are freeze dried? It sounds delicious. It is actually all right. It pretty doesn't sound it, but yeah. What's the best meal?
spaghetti bolognese. Free stride spaghetti bolognese, yeah. So they make it, so it's all made by this company called Expedition Foods, and they make a big vat of freshly made food, chicken, chicken, masala, whatever, all these dishes, and then put it through this freeze-dried process with extract out all the moisture and essentially it's just a bit of powder in a packet, and you get out there, you melt snow,
you don't carry any water in your out there, you just melt snow every night in the tent, pour boiling water into the packet, and it reconstitutes, and it's great, and it's like, yeah. Well, hang on, it reconstitutes as spaghetti, or spaghetti bolognese, yeah, as a meal. No, no, no, it comes back as spaghetti. And yeah, as a solid meal, as a solid meal. I was thinking of a cloudy with a chance of meatballs here, when we just got all these fun. Yeah, good film. It's one minute, it's dust,
Yeah. Next minute, you put a load of boiling water in it. Yeah. And it's Bugatti Balenase. Yeah. I mean, you can see when it's dust, you can see, like, the dried spaghetti strands and stuff, but it's, like, super lightweight. But yeah, it looks like me at a bucket pot noodle. Joe, we could get you some of this. Because you can... Good stuff. You can just order it online, and then you could just go home and have a little camp out in the city. Do you think that would help with my weight loss, Jenny?
Yeah, it's high calorie. It's designed to like, yeah, pile the pounds on. Oh, please you lose weight. I lost like 20 odd kilos. Did you eating 6,000 calories a day? Burning 10,000. Fucking hell. Yeah, it's why. You need to have to show you some photos, but I always like skin and bone.
when I finished. Somebody called me Swamp Vestix. I had a bright red hair from all the UV light damage and then a stick thin white body. So you've got that. It's the dream. I've got to go. So what you're saying is, if I want to lose weight, I'm not saying that. I've got to go on. I'm a celeb or... Ski to the south pole. Ski to the south pole. I was up at five o'clock. I know you've done your one-point session. I did probably more practice. 45 minute what? It was actually 40. I told her lie.
It was like fucking 40s enough. It was definitely 40. It was 40 because that's 40 sitting down on the bike or 40 of actually pedaling? 40 sitting down on the bike. Yeah. When did you start pedaling? Once the credits to Squid Game would be.
You're meant to be encouraging me. I just think honesty is the best part of it. I've given you honesty. So you've got this freeze-dried food. So you've got how much of that did you say you've had? So I had in total, 24 hours of food was a freeze-dried breakfast, which is like porridge with strawberries and stuff. And then during the day, you don't stop. So you're just plodding along on your ski, dragging you.
a stedge behind you called a Polk for 12 hours. And you don't stop for lunch, because if you stop, you're just going to freeze to death. So I'd ski for like a couple of hours, and then I'd stop for a couple of minutes. And I had, I think, called a grazing bag, and it's basically a little freezer bag, all pre-prepared. I had 75 of them. And in there, it was like chocolate, nuts, cheese, and salami. And so I'd just stop for a couple of minutes, big, gloved hand in the bag.
throw a load of food in my mouth, you know, quick drink out the flask and then start skiing again. So there's like 3000 calories in that bag that I'd graze on through the day, get back in the tent at night and then I'd have my freeze-dried main meal spaghetti bolognese and then you can get freeze-dried desserts as well.
But what I did, I only had like a dessert once every 10 days and it was like a... It was like a motivator thing. Because when I got dropped off, this was the solo trip. It was pretty psychologically, it was quite daunting that I've got to ski a thousand miles, two and a half months on my own, right across. So what I did was I said to myself, right, I'm just here to do a 10 day expedition.
Cuz my food was packaged in these 10 day sacks. In the bottom of every 10 day bag, I had this like chocolate pudding. It's like a like a little treat. So all four was right, just ski 10 days, get to the chocolate pudding. And I did that, sat in the tent that night, like giggling school boys scoffing this chocolate pudding. I was like, right, do another 10 days, get the next chocolate pudding. And I kind of did that and just did these 10 day blocks to work my way across.
That chat, Joe, the chocolate pudding chat, motivational chat has made me think about the mental aspects of an expedition like Louise. You had no company whatsoever. So how come you didn't go out of your box? I had a lot of like audio books.
It was really good. I used to listen to audiobooks, just wear the old wide headphones in and be skiing along. And I would just pretend that there was somebody skiing alongside me talking to me and telling me these stories. That was really good. I used to chat to my shadow. I probably was going a bit mad though. I used to chat.
I was fine mate, I had loads of audio books, you know, you used to pretend that someone's there, okay? Small red flag. And then I'd look at my shadow and go, well, that's a person, so I'm going to pretend that it's not right. Yeah, he's slowly turning here and just little things like that. I mean, I had a
satellite phone, so I had to check in every night when I got into the tent just to confirm, you know, where I was and that I was okay. So I'd have a conversation with like a base camp manager, but that was quite a practical conversation, just, you know, in very short, a couple of minutes. But yeah, I didn't see anybody for, you know, kind of best part of two and a half months. Well, there are any moments. Obviously, you had a, you, you spoke about the, the 10 day approach for that chocolate pudding.
You've started out the exploration on your own. You know you're doing it alone, but were there any moments during it where you were like, fuck, I feel really lonely here, actually. Oh, yeah. Too much. There was a few things went wrong, a few incidents where I really questioned what I was doing and married, three kids and stuff. Again, I'm kind of aware of all of that, but there was
Yeah, it was one particular day. I was skiing in Whiteout, so it's 24-hour daylight when you're down there in the sort of their summer season, November through to end of January. But you get, some days you just get like a cloud comes in and completely obscures the sun. And you can't see anything. You can't see the horizon, you can't see the ground, the ice is skiing over, the sky. And it's like skiing inside a ping pong ball. It's probably the best analogy for it. So you're skiing completely blind and you've got a compass on a frame on your chest. So you're just staring at the needle.
to make sure you're skiing in the right direction because it's got no reference. You kind of, it's not a flat surface Nantata, you get this stuff called Sestrugi and it's ridged, just all these ridges that are carved by the wind and they're rock artists. It's like skiing across the top of Lemurang Pie. And you kind of say you're... It's delicious.
Yeah, so you're kind of moving around over this stuff and in whiteout, you can't kind of see, you can't tell if you're going uphill, downhill, you know, and you'd be going along, suddenly you'd just be lying on your side and realize, oh, I've gone around a hump of ice or something, I've just fell over on my side here. And it was this particular day, I was in amongst all this sestrugy, in whiteout. I was up on a block of it, it didn't really seem, there was something called a wind scoop on the other side where the wind carved out a bit of a hole and it was only about like eight feet deep.
But I couldn't see it and I skied off the end of this block of ice and fell proper like face-planted. Fell eight foot for a second. I thought I was going down a crevasse and absolutely like shit myself, but luckily it was just a bit of this hole. Face-planted in the bottom, snap my ski in half.
like bust my lip, bruise my ribs and then obviously a split second afterwards my sledge still weighing 100 kg on a bit of rope behind me comes over and like body blows me like you know and just like lands on my back and I'm just stuck like face down in the snow with my pole on top of me and just like this and just laying there and just like a comedy two minutes trying to wriggle out from underneath thinking what the hell am I doing here this is like insane like this is so dangerous
And I sat there for about 15 minutes in this hole, just sort of myself out and just like, and I was close to picking up a satellite phone and just calling for pickup and saying that, you know, enough. And I think what saved it. I went back to the kind of, I guess, the why, why I was there. And, you know, there was a few reasons, things, reasons I was doing this. It was like, it was a world first. It was tempting to do and stuff. And the other thing that I think swung it, I was doing it for a military charity. And I'd been and met this, you know,
the charity and some of their benefactors, you know, guys that had lost limbs in Afghanistan. What was the military charity? Army Benevolent Fund. Yeah, and I'm an ambassador for them now. And I met loads of guys, you know, life changing injuries, you know, in a whole lifetime of challenge ahead of them.
And I kind of thought about that and I thought it kind of put things in perspective and I thought, you know, those guys have got a lifetime of challenge ahead of them. You chose to come here and do this journey. So kind of stop whinging, Rudd, you know, get your skis back on and, you know, get on with it like, you know, and your suffering is going to come to an end.
you know, once you get to the end and that really kind of like help keep things in perspective and just, you know, stop me feeling sorry for myself basically. So I get mega. I don't know about you Tom. Do you think you could take on a challenge like that? No. I mean, I like a bit of endurance exercise. I think it's just... Turn off bumps. Turn off months is pushing it a bit. But just in that situation, you've just described Libby. I've got a few questions. Back up ski, all you had to men the ski.
I had, I had one spare ski with me, so that was it then. Just switched the binding on to that one. Yeah, well, I had the whole ski actually, so I just literally threw the ski on to save doing like a binding change, but I had really limited spares, because like weight is everything. Everything you put in that sledge, every ground, you've got a drag behind you. So I was really like, I had it at the bare minimum of like spare stuff. What about your tent?
You said about white paper stuff. Really lightweight. You're sleeping every night? Yeah. You're not plowing on through, because you just spoke about 24 hours. Yeah, you could. How do you sleep it in 24 hour daylight? Eye mask, literally. So bright. So bright, you've got a little like one kilogram, like one person tent, tiny little thing. Getting there, had this huge down sleeping bag rated to minus 50 degrees centigrade, super warm sleeping bag, a little sleeping mat, a little cooker, melt snow.
You know, I make my drinks, steal my food. What was the little cooker gas? Yeah, liquid fuel, yeah, little MSR, liquid fuel stove. So I was carrying, and this is quite a lot of the weight, I was carrying 25 liters of liquid fuel for the stove as well. Is that the most important bit of kit? Yeah. In your whole, is it a pulp you were calling? Yeah, it's called a pulp kit. In your whole bit of pulp, what is the most important bit of kit that you go? Well, that's the number one priority that's going to get me through this.
Yeah, I mean, to be honest, it's quite a few bits. If you lose a tent, you're dead. So you haven't come close to losing a tent? I did. Oh, the fuck are you losing a tent? Like a complete muppet. I made a massive schoolboy era. So I was like half way through the journey, a whole load of heavy snowfall. I was in the tent, I heard it hammering down the snow all night. And I knew it was going to be a really hard day the next day. Because whenever you get snow, there's basically loads of drag on the skis and the polk.
and it's still pretty heavy and I knew it was going to feel like a 200 kilogram pulk, you know, we do the extra resistance of all this deep snow. And I got out, you know, packed my tent away, got my skis on, set off and I couldn't move the pulk, couldn't move this thing, I wasn't making any progress, I was like inching forward.
So I decided to take half of the kit out, leave it in the snow, ski forward a couple of miles, drop off the other half a kit, come back with the empty pulk, just follow my ski tracks back, come back, pick up the other half, so basically keep ferrying the load. So to go forward one mile, I was doing like three miles. It was an absolute ball ache, but at least I was like moving forward.
Early on when I was doing it, every time I left some kit behind a pile, I was a GPS marketer, had a little GPS and odd market. I was being really diligent of how to be super safe here. But every time I go and drop the kit, I turn around and disappear this motorway of my ski tracks. I would just follow them back and they would be the kit. Great. So I stopped.
GPS marking, you know, part way through the day. And I dropped off the tent, my sleeping bag, a couple of sacks of food, and I was two miles away up, dropping off the next lock here. And the wind just started picking up. Wind came in, and then that whiteout came in as well. And as I was skiing back along my tracks, I started to lose my tracks. They were just filling with snow. And then I was like, I'm going to stop and get down to my knees and just check. Is that still my ski track? After about half an hour, I lost them. And I had no ski tracks, and I hadn't GPS marked.
What's cat through your head in that moment? Absolutely shitting myself. That's more than just shitting yourself, isn't it? You're in the middle of the fucking Antarctic. You could have just ended up... Oh, yeah. That was it. I've gone here. Totally aware that this was a life-threatening situation now.
I was like, I was absolutely breaking it. And all I had then was to go on was my compass bearing. So I just obviously reversed compass bearing and what I've just been skiing for an hour. So I was just like following the compass on a back bearing and like I'm trying to gauge the distance. And I went for about half an hour and I knew that I should have stumbled across the gear by now and I hadn't. So then I stopped and then I said, basically, then I started doing like a bit of a
And it was something I got taught in the SAS. It's like a search pattern of like a methodical box search method. And I started doing that. And it took me two hours. And after two hours, and I was getting pretty cold and really starting to think, yeah, this is a really fucked up it. About two hours, I stumbled across the kit, half buried by this point as well. I just saw a glimpse of a blue food sack poking through the snow.
And I went over and I literally sank to my knees and cried. And I was like, oh my God, you absolute muppet. This episode is sponsored by the following lovely people. I love you, baby. It's Danny Williams. Well, I would walk 500 miles. It's Darren Miles. Fabulous. Craig Jones. So I can see the songbird yesterday.
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On this barren landscape that you're traversing, Louis. Yeah. What other living creatures are there? And are they friends or foes? Polar bears are North Pole. So they're up on the Arctic Ocean and... Big result. So, yeah. So, no... Well, they're not friendly. No, not really. No, they're hungry, they'll eat you. Oh, okay. Fair enough, yeah. But luckily, you're fine with the South. But you're probably in the ideal place. You could literally not be further from a polar bear.
Yeah, that is true. Because you're not even close to a zoo. No, exactly. The nearest zoo is probably Australia or Argentina. Yeah, so... Oh, whoopee. Good. This is the mental strength joke that we're getting through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, wildlife, Antarctica, it's all on the coastline, so there's nothing in there. Sea goals.
coastline. The minute you actually ski in from the edge of the continent, because there's no vegetation, there's no, nothing in there, nothing could live. So all you've got is the penguins that everyone knows about, the colonies on the coastline, whales, seals, bird life, all that kind of stuff. So you don't expect when you go to Antarctica, doing the kind of journeys I do, crossing inland to ever see anything. Joe, we've had a question from
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So, instead of doing it in the Dutch accent, I'd do it as normal. Okay. Okay, here we go. What challenges do climate change and melt it? Oh, yeah. Can I steal this question? Is my own actually? No, we flagged it smells now. Okay, fine, too. Fair enough. Yeah, what challenges does climate change pose to Arctic explorers today?
Yeah, it's all fucking melting. Surely that's a good thing. Bad thing for the world. Good thing for polar explorers. Bad thing also for polar explorers. Oh, yeah. So climate change in terms of doing expeditions has had a massive impact in the North Pole. More so, because that is completely different to Antarctica. It's frozen seawater. So North Pole is at sea.
It's in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. And the ice there is only a few inches to a few feet thick, unlike Antarctica, which is a four-floor climb. Ice sheet. And so because of climate change, nobody, I think, is pretty sure insane. Nobody's managed to ski to the North Pole since 2014.
because of climate change, because they're melting up there. So there's not enough ice on it. It doesn't freeze over enough now. And the bits that do, it splits and cracks and you get these massive open water leads. So people now are trying to get the North Pole is having to ski with a dry suit. A dry suit on swim. Big sections in the swimming in the Arctic Ocean with the pole floating that long behind them. I think that will put me off. The swimming bed. Yeah, I like swimming.
Yeah. I really do, but put me off. Have you only ever done? Only. Have you only ever done the South? Yeah, I've done stuff in the Arctic. I've done a ski across Greenland that I sheeted as that's Arctic in 2018. Two people nearly died on that trip. That's a great story. What happened? It was six of us. We're working in pairs in three tents. We had a massive storm called a Peterak. It's an innuent word, which means like translates as something that will do you harm.
And, yeah. What's that coming out of the horizon? I just don't worry about it. Now, what is it? It's a massive thing that's going to do you harm. It's called Peter. Peterak. Peterak. And anyway, this storm hit us in the middle of the night. We knew it was coming and we'd like built snow walls around the tents, trying to shield it, because the forecast was 120 mile an hour winds. Oh. And we're in like, you know, yeah. Oh, just 120 miles an hour, yeah. I mean, these three little tents, middle of the ice sheet, you know, so completely on our own. And in the middle of the night,
One of the snow walls on one of the third tent down. The wind, I think, just collapsed the snow wall onto the tent and crushed the tent and snapped all the poles. Two guys inside there, Pete and James are in this tent, tent collapsed on top of them in pitch black. And they're now because the tent's collapsed, the snow starts piling up on top. And in a 120 mile an hour wind, it sets like concrete.
And they were getting buried alive. And obviously we're oblivious to the other two tents and what's going on. And one of them runs out of the tent, this land change, runs outside in just his socks, because he was in his sleeping bag, and his thermal leggings, thermal top, you know, in horrendous conditions. Pitch black and runs outside to try and get to my tent to tell me there's a problem. And he gets lost. Oh my God. He gets disorientated and can't find the tents. And he's crawling around on all fours outside for about 15, 20 minutes.
In his thermals, on the verge, I mean, getting hypothermic on the verge of all going wrong. And he'd said to the other guy, Pete and a tent, stay here. I'm going for help. Whatever you do, don't leave the tent. And this guy gets disorientated and stuff. Eventually, he stumbles across. One of the other tents, not my tent, but the second tent.
And they get him in there, sort him out, and then by the time anybody gets to my tent, because I'm the expedition leader, to alert me that there's an issue, nearly 45 minutes has gone by. And meanwhile, Pete, in this collapsed tent, has been completely buried. Fuck that. And he's in his sleeping bag, yeah? No, fuck off. And he's actually got his phone out, and he's recording final videos to his kids and stuff, saying, oh. Saying, Lou, he hasn't come for me yet. Yeah, the boss will find out.
Nice to get a name check. I wouldn't eat a wank as well. Gluey, gluey. Yeah. If you see him, I'll be cheating one from me, will you? I know. And he, uh, and he had all you could reach in the tent. He had a, uh, half bottle of checked annuals.
And he's like, screw it, I'm gonna, and he just nicked it and he nicked like half a bottle of JD in 45 minutes. Did these final videos and was like, he ain't coming like, you know, something's gone wrong. This is it. And he was trapped. He was like pinned and he couldn't get out and he was laid down in sleep bag like, you know, JD and stuff. And then by the time I got over there, like 45 minutes and when I got there, there was like nothing. I couldn't see the tent. There's no skis, no Polk.
and I was digging with a shovel and eventually I got to a bit of a red like tent fabric and thought yeah and I thought it was a bit of tall material and I pulled on it and more of like the fabric started coming up and I was like shit yeah this is the tent and I got to a zip and I was like digging with my hands and the shovel and I had come on my head down this hole pushing this zip down eventually I pushed the zip across his face and then it came across and he was like in there and he's like
I was like, oh my God, you're alive. Couldn't believe it, lie, you know? And eventually I took about half an hour, dug him out and going back to the tents a bit close. And he's since had the whole scene tattooed on his leg. And it's like, I mean, for him, it was, this is 2018. And he ran, that was his job, he was a tattoo artist and stuff. But yeah, life-changing experience for him. I mean, he thought that was game over.
Joe, the way that Louis has described his experiences, Antarctica sounds like a horrendous brutal place, but Louis, there have to be days surely when you're out there when it is the most spectacular place on Earth. It is, I mean, I guess that's why I keep going back. It's absolutely incredible. You go, when you go in, you fly from Chile. You get right down to the southern Mississippi, Chile. The irony. Yeah. Yeah. Perhaps Chile and Chile, but it takes edge of it a bit.
Oh, OK. Fair enough. And you fly across that patch of ocean between Chile and Antarctica and you're kind of looking out the plane windows. And as you start to see icebergs appearing and like, you know, like pancake ice and all this kind of stuff and then start going over the continent itself. Every time, you know, when the plane lands on like a blue ice runway on sheet ice, a little tinted camp is like the base camp. So yeah, just on wheels as well.
When it lands, is it like doing a skid? No, yeah. I wanted it to, I wanted it to. I mean, there's no skid around. Yeah, so they don't use any, they can't use any brakes. They have to, the runway is like three kilometers long. They have to like roll to a halt because they can't touch, they touch the brakes. And yeah, they just go skidding off the, off the runway. And the minute I walk down those steps, you know, and even now, you know, kind of going back each season in,
guiding people and that kind of stuff there. I still get quite emotional when I first put a foot back on the ice because you never know if it's going to be your last time in Antarctica as well. Each time you go down there and just the raw, sterile beauty of it and you do these journeys and you just don't see any sign of mankind.
For me, it's the last true wilderness on the planet and completely unspoiled, untouched. And it's always got this, when everyone is particularly if you do a solo trip, you've got this ever pervading kind of sense of threats, kind of that you know if you fuck up down here.
this place will punish you and you've got to know what you're doing and just be methodical about stuff and that kind of, I guess, being able to survive and travel safely in a really hostile environment is quite rewarding. All the time you've been telling us about your insane traversing. I've been thinking, how did it feel, A, when you got to the South Pole and B, when you completed your traversing?
But I suppose at the South Pole there is... Is there an American research station? OK. There is a base there. Is there an actual pole? Yeah. There is a... And what? Yeah. Like a fuck off big pole? Is it quite an impressive pole? Exactly two. Double pole. Confusing that. Double, double polling. Double polling. Double polling. You might even bound to have seen pictures of it. It's a classic barbershop type pole that's in the red and white. I thought I'd imagine that.
with the mirror ball on top. So that is still there. So that was at the actual South Pole when we're back in the 80s or something. But what happens is, obviously, they've set the pole in in 80, whatever. The whole ice is moving 10 metres a year. So the following year, that's no longer actually at the South Pole. You know, so if you go and stand at that, you haven't actually got there.
I'm actually not even all that way when you get it wrong. So on the first, these American Americans in this research station, which is like, it's like something out of a bond film, this base. It's on like hydraulic legs, this huge base, and there's like a couple hundred people in there, scientists and stuff. They go out on the 1st of January every year from the base with like laser measuring kit, and they remark where the actual bottom dead center of the planet Earth is, and then put a wooden, temporary wooden
pole landing with a little nice little ornate thing on top of it. Now a little competition inside the station every year to design the masthead that goes on it. That's nice. So when you go, you go to both, you know, you kind of go to the settlement. So the barbershop pole is called the ceremonial South Pole now, and they've got all the nations flags around it. So you kind of go there first, you know, that's on your way, get your photos done there, and then you have to scheme now a couple hundred meters and then get to the actual
South Pole, and then when you're still at the South Pole, you can time travel. So you go around one side, because of all the international date lines converge. So you're on one side, you're in yesterday, go around this side, you're today, go on the other side, and you're tomorrow. Do you see yourself, if you're quick enough?
What do you mean to be crooked off? Let's get around that pole quickly, catch up with yourself. And it's the only place in the world where there's no eastern west at that point. The only direction, whichever way you go, is north. No, I can't get my head around that one. Yeah, I know. Now, if I were at the south pole, Louis, I'd almost find myself ticking off things to say that I'd done them at the south pole. Do you know what I mean, Joe? Ordinary things that might be part of your day and you could say, I did that once at the south pole. But you're never going to do that.
It's a complicated way of asking Louis if Louis found himself thinking, I'm having a cup of tea at the South Pole. I'm having a bowl of cornflakes at the South Pole. Did a handstand. There you go. Up against the mast and fell over. I was wondering if you might have had a pee against it. Do you know what I mean, Joe? You just get the South Pole. Yeah, but then it frees. It's not like you could have a quick pee.
Because it's free, there's a run in the risk that he's actually getting his knob stuck to the pole. So I did do. I filled up my little water bottle with a whole load of ice. Yes. From the south pole, carried it with me, took it home, got home, made ice cubes out of it, put them into gin and tonic. That's a touch, isn't it? So an ice from Antarctica in a G&T when it got back.
There, that is cool. That's a touch. That is cool. And it also reminded me, how the fuck did you drink? Where was all this, well, you know your, your pulp. Yeah. How much water are you carrying in there for two and a half months? None. None, none water. No water, none water. Why none water? Because you have an endless supply of water under your feet that you're skiing over. So you just melt snow. You can just melt that and drink that. Yeah.
In the tent. It's time I'm in the snow. I can just melt that snow and drink that. That's your water. Make sure it's not yellow snow. No yellow snow. Probably in the UK it could be like a risk of dog pooping or that I would do. So that's what you just pick up a bit of snow.
Mel, it is just room. Yeah, I was in the tent in the evening, so what I would do, the night before, I would get loads of snow in the tent, just, you know, in the floor of the tent, just like scoop it up, put it into a kettle on top of the cooker, melt it all down, and I'd fill two one litre flasks to get me through the day, because you can only melt it with a cooker on in the tent, sir. And that would be enough, so I'd just carry two litres for the day, drink that, get in the tent at night, and then
do it all over again and drink in a really rehydrated night and drink two, three liters once I'd finished skiing. But yeah, that's the beauty of it. That's why you can do these long range expeditions, because you couldn't carry two and a half months of water, because the sheer weight would be like insane. So that's the beauty of Antarctica. You have this endless supply of water, and you see this kind of. Louis, you have been absolutely incredible. Probably one of the most remarkable people we've had on the show. I think you've downplayed quite a bit of
of what you've done and what you've achieved and the ability you need to get through two and a half months on your own twice. Not just once, twice. Yeah, fuck it. I wasn't lonely enough for the first time. Make me more lonely. You're one of the most incredible human beings we've had on this show. So thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story.
Well, well, thank you very much guys, you know, yeah, amazing to meet you. A big rugby fan, so real privilege to meet you as well, Joe, and thanks for having me on. It's been great fun. Should we maybe go on expedition for us ourselves? Should they do it to take us? That Japanese restaurant around the corner, that's half a mile away. It's not quite what I was thinking. It's quite fresh out there today. Right, OK. You've got your Google.
run a polar training course in Norway. It's like a little slice of Antarctica based out of a hotel, great food. I'm going to go out and teach you all the basics of polar travel and then do a little mini expedition one night out at the end. Right, instead of doing the South Pole. It's the Norway. Should we do Norway for a night? It's the Norway. Right, it would do that. Perfect. You'll love it. Louis, you're legend. Thank you, mate. That was super. Oh my God.
As if it was you and Louis starting herself with polar penis. Wasn't even me. But you were the first one to jump on. Well, yeah. But I suppose that's the best thing to do to try and warm it up a little bit. The bit where he loses his tent, how much are you shitting yourself? I'm gone. I'm giving up. I'm not, I'm not finding that. When your knees crying.
100% and the atheist that I am would soon turn into the God believe it. You name the God, I'm praying to it in that moment. It would just be God. But the way in which he just not played it down, but just spoke about the norm to him. He was brilliant. Some of my highlights were, I like picking up on these words. He used topography. Could he help me out with the explanation of that? Didn't want to interrupt him.
What the landscape looks like. Good. So top, topography. What do you mean? Because it's got geography. What's the top bit mean? I don't know that bit. Oh, good. OK. So a bit like geography-ish. Joe, the other thing I enjoyed about that episode was getting some questions in from our amazing patrons. Well, if you listen to this, you could be one of them.
If you are a patron, you get bonus content, you get longer episodes, sometimes buy as much as 20 minutes. Basically, you can hear all the bits Ryan thinks are too silly, all rude to put out normally. And that, Joe, is for just one pound a week. That's an absolute bargain, Tom. Seriously, that is though, isn't it? A pound a week. Don't you even notice a pound a week? Well, no, you're right. I mean, people don't even pay in pounds anymore. Don't they? Well, what's they paying? I don't know, they still do pay in pounds.
It's in multiples. Yeah, I loved it. I want you lot to come and get involved, join our community and become part of the show. This is nothing without our patrons, Tom. I absolutely love them. Nice words, Joe, and I agree. See you next time. Crowd network, a place where you belong.
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Things People Did, with Jake Lambert: How to be a star employee at Legoland

The Joe Marler Show
You may recognise our guest this week. He was Neville Longbottom's 'footstep double' in Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. Not ringing any bells? Well, you'll have definitely seen his viral reels that have conquered Instagram for the last 12 months... it's Jake Lambert! He's here to tell us all about working in Legoland, the time he saw a ghost working as a school caretaker, and about the time he accidentally set one of the Hogwarts bridges on fire. Welcome to another episode of Things People Did, live at The Clapham Grand. This episode was proudly sponsored by BrewDog Punk IPA. To get 12 cans of Punk IPA for £15 with free delivery (exclusively for TPD listeners) click here: https://www.BrewDog.com/TPD To find out more about Jake, his tour, and his podcast, click here: https://www.jakelambertcomedy.com/ To get in touch with us, email joe@crowdnetwork.co.uk If you would like to be a guest on the show, click here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rfSo3PVJgtBRZHCCAZndem-iyy2EdvGcEYDqycsM2aQ/viewform To get ad-free and longer episodes on Apple, hit the 'grow the show' button or click: https://apple.co/3sAX0xR On Spotify you can subscribe for £1 a week by clicking this link: https://anchor.fm/thingspeopledo To become an official sponsor, go to Patreon.com/thingspeopledo To grow the show on socials, look for @thingspeoplepod on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok If you'd like to enquire about commercial partnerships with our podcast, email Ryan Bailey ryanb@crowdnetwork.co.uk Music courtesy of BMG Production Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
February 07, 2025
About Makeup Artists: The most important product to keep us looking young

The Joe Marler Show
This week we are joined by Victoria, who has worked her magic on the hair and makeup of countless celebrities - including none other than Joe Marler! She gives us the inside scoop on the stressful world of quick-turnaround makeup and shares some crazy stories, like what it’s like to show up to a job with nowhere for your clients to sit. And, of course, we had to ask her to get Joe's face TV ready. Find out more about Victoria: https://www.victoriapenrosemakeup.co.uk/instagram/ This episode is proudly sponsored by BrewDog Punk IPA. To get 12 cans of Punk IPA for £15 with free delivery (exclusively for TPD listeners) click here: https://www.BrewDog.com/TPD To get in touch with us, email joe@crowdnetwork.co.uk If you would like to be a guest on the show, click here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rfSo3PVJgtBRZHCCAZndem-iyy2EdvGcEYDqycsM2aQ/viewform To get ad-free and longer episodes on Apple, hit the 'grow the show' button or click: https://apple.co/3sAX0xR On Spotify you can subscribe for £1 a week by clicking this link: https://anchor.fm/thingspeopledo To become an official sponsor, go to Patreon.com/thingspeopledo To grow the show on socials, look for @thingspeoplepod on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok If you'd like to enquire about commercial partnerships with our podcast, email Ryan Bailey ryanb@crowdnetwork.co.uk Music courtesy of BMG Production Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
February 05, 2025
Things People Did, with Russell Kane: Comedian, podcaster and... hoover salesman

The Joe Marler Show
Comedian Russell Kane discusses his varied pre-comedy jobs including selling frozen foods, hoovers, and Rolexes; he also reveals a prior meeting with host Joe at Jonathan Ross's Halloween party, which Russell doesn't remember. The episode is called 'Things People Did'.
January 31, 2025
Classic: About Stunt People

The Joe Marler Show
'Joe' and 'Tom' interview stunt performer Annabel, known for work in Harry Potter, Skyfall, Thor, etc., discussing fire stunts, bridge jumps, and 31-year-old ponies.
January 24, 2025

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