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    A Radical Alternative to Revenge | sujatha baliga

    enMarch 01, 2023
    What is the significance of forgiveness according to Sujatha BGA?
    How does Sujatha define restorative justice in her podcast?
    What meditation practice is suggested to aid forgiveness?
    What personal challenges did Sujatha face before finding healing?
    How can restorative justice principles be applied in daily life?

    Podcast Summary

    • Learning Forgiveness through Restorative Justice with Sujatha BGAPrioritizing forgiveness for our own well-being and finding ways to move forward from trauma can lead to healing. Restorative justice offers a less punitive alternative to traditional criminal justice systems, and meditation can aid in the practice of forgiveness.

      Forgiveness is easier said than done, but it is in your best interest not to hold onto endless revenge fantasies. Sujatha BGA, a longtime Buddhist practitioner and leader in restorative justice, shares her experience with learning how to forgive after being horribly abused as a child. She now helps others find healing through restorative justice, a less punitive alternative to the traditional criminal justice system. In this podcast episode, Sujatha also discusses the evidence of restorative justice's effectiveness, its limitations, and a specific meditation practice that can help with forgiveness. Sujatha's story is a reminder to prioritize forgiveness for our own well-being and to find ways to move forward from trauma.

    • Healing Begins with Unexpected DetoursSometimes the path to healing takes unexpected detours and chance encounters. Be open to exploring new opportunities and trust that they will lead you to where you are meant to be.

      Sujatha Baliga's journey of healing and service led her to a breakdown before finding guidance from a spiritual seeker on a beach in Kerala. Despite initial repulsion, his words led her to try and attend a VAPA course. When unable to do so, she ended up in Ladakh, where she found herself surrounded by monks and felt exactly where she was supposed to be. Her experience shows that sometimes unexpected detours and chance encounters can lead us towards the direction we are meant to go in.

    • The Role of Anger in Pursuit of Forgiveness and Trauma HealingUnderstanding and analyzing the role of anger in one's life is crucial for forgiveness and trauma healing. Meditating to control emotions, seeking valuable advice from religious leaders, and acknowledging cultural context is important.

      In the pursuit of forgiveness and overcoming trauma, it's important to understand the role of anger in one's life and whether it has any benefits to the work being done. While forgiveness cannot be prescribed as a pill with a 1, 2, 3 step guide, meditating can help in controlling the mind and reigning in emotions. It's crucial to analyze how anger affects one's life and determine whether we have been angry long enough, with permission to feel anger serving as a powerful gift. The conversations we have with others, including religious leaders, can offer valuable insight and advice, whilst also acknowledging the importance of cultural context and understanding.

    • The Power of Alignment and Loving Kindness in Managing Difficult RelationshipsBy incorporating loving kindness and acceptance through meditation and introspection, one can manage difficult relationships and find fulfillment in their work. Understanding the needs and motivations of all parties can lead to restorative outcomes in the criminal justice system.

      The advice to align oneself with enemies without excusing their behavior while considering their humanity and needs is a powerful tool for managing difficult relationships. It may seem counterintuitive, but incorporating loving kindness and acceptance through meditation and introspection can have profound effects on one's physical and emotional well-being. Letting go of the past and accepting it for what it is can lead to positive changes in life. Through this process, one may discover their true calling and purpose, which can bring a sense of fulfillment and meaning to their work. This approach is particularly relevant in the criminal justice system, where understanding the needs and motivations of all parties involved can lead to more restorative outcomes.

    • Finding Forgiveness and Freedom Through Mindfulness and MeditationForgiveness can be achieved through mindfulness practices like breath observation and body scanning. By embracing impermanence, individuals can experience positive emotions and deeper understanding of themselves and others.

      Through meditation and mindfulness practices, individuals can work towards forgiveness and freedom from suffering. It is important to not go into retreats with the expectation of a magical solution, but instead focus on reigning in the mind and deepening understanding of impermanence. The mechanism for forgiveness involves steps such as breath observation and body scanning, leading to the experience of bliss and the spontaneous arising of positive emotions towards previously difficult individuals. With continued practice, individuals can experience the relentlessness of change and pay attention to the raw data of their senses, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and others.

    • Compassion and forgiveness through understanding underlying causes.By recognizing the deeper causes of behavior and letting go of anger, we can foster empathy and connection with others, leading to forgiveness and healing. This involves experiencing safety, compassion, and openness to change and positive energy.

      Understanding that our moods and actions are shaped by deep and beginningless causes and conditions can lead to compassion and forgiveness. By examining the underlying reasons for one's own and others' behavior, we can let go of anger and bitterness and focus on caring for one another. The path to forgiveness is not straightforward and can involve experiences of safety, compassion, and the willingness to see things in a new light. Embracing the subtleties of change, both physical and emotional, and sending out positive energy can help heal wounds and promote understanding. By recognizing our shared humanity and the complex factors that shape us, we can cultivate a greater sense of empathy and connection with others.

    • The Power of Forgiveness: Taking the Steps Towards HealingBefore forgiving someone, take the time to analyze your feelings, meditate, and seek support. Forgiveness can lead to personal growth, happiness, and restorative justice, while anger can hinder relationships and wellbeing.

      Before forgiving someone, it is important to do an inventory of how we've been harmed and what we need and have someone witness it with infinite compassion. It is necessary to do the cost benefit analysis, meditate and rein in the mind. Anger can serve as a hindrance to personal relationships and happiness. Restorative justice can benefit both survivors and perpetrators. The criminal legal system does not benefit survivors of crimes. Many people get railroaded into pleas that are unfair or they are innocent of crimes. Forgiveness after taking these steps can help us reach a point of peace and happiness.

    • Restorative Justice as an Alternative to the Failing Criminal Legal System.Restorative justice can offer a more effective way to address harm caused by crime, prioritizing the needs of survivors and promoting accountability by involving community conversation, honesty and responsibility.

      The criminal legal system is a failure as it does not create public safety, center crime survivors in their needs, and has insane racial and ethnic disparities. Restorative justice, which involves bringing people together after things have gone wrong and having a conversation with family and community present in order to come up with a plan to repair the harm, is an alternative to mass criminalization in the United States and around the world. It starts with a person who experienced the harm, asks how they were harmed and what they need, and whose obligation it is to meet those needs. Restorative justice allows people to get real, tell their story and work to make things right.

    • The Potential of Restorative Justice in Solving Recidivism and Increasing Victim SatisfactionRestorative justice has been proven effective in reducing recidivism rates and has high victim satisfaction, but implementation on a larger scale is constrained by a lack of resources and imagination. Despite not being a panacea, exploring alternatives to the current criminal justice system can lead to better outcomes.

      Restorative justice has been shown to reduce recidivism rates by 44% and has a 91% satisfaction rate for crime victims. Despite evidence of its success, there is still a deficit of necessary resources and imagination in implementing it on a larger scale. While it may not work in every case, it is important to consider the shortcomings of the current criminal justice system and explore alternatives like restorative justice. A world with all restorative justice instead of the current system would be much better in terms of outcomes.

    • The Benefits and Challenges of Restorative JusticeRestorative justice offers a victim-centered approach to healing and justice, but it requires time and imagination. The state should allow for diverse healing journeys and not shame those who choose this option. The punitive system should expand its imagination for justice.

      Restorative justice can be an improvement over the punitive criminal legal system, but it requires time and imagination for a system based on the healing of victims and offenders. Crime survivors may seek restorative justice over the regular criminal legal system, but the state disallows it. People's immediate and long-term reactions to harm cannot be predicted and honored without time and space for their healing journey. Punitive responses stem from a limited imagination of justice, but restorative justice offers a fresh perspective. While not all may choose restorative justice, it is a viable option that should not be shamed. The system should be more victim-centered, allowing for diverse healing journeys.

    • The Power of Restorative Justice in Shifting the Focus from Punishment to Healing.Restorative justice emphasizes understanding the needs of those affected by harm, rather than punishing the offender. By applying this approach in our personal lives, we can shift the focus from blame to healing and restoration.

      Restorative justice asks who is harmed, what do they need, and whose obligation is it to meet those needs. This is a paradigm shift from the traditional approach of asking who broke the law and how to punish them. Restorative justice seeks to understand the needs of the person who caused the harm to prevent the harm from happening again. This approach can be applied to our day-to-day lives, whether it's forgiving a family member or resolving conflict with a spouse. By focusing on needs-based inquiry, we can shift away from blame and punishment, which can lead to healing and restoration.

    • Applying Restorative Justice in Daily LifeWhen faced with a difficult situation, ask how you have been harmed and what you need to resolve it. Emotional management and practices like meditation aid in healing. Remember the principle of interdependence and practice the four immeasurables to cultivate closer relationships with all people.

      Restorative justice principles can be applied in everyday situations by asking how we have been harmed and what we need to resolve the situation. Needs don't always have to be met by the person who caused the harm and can be addressed by other people. Emotional management is also important and can be aided by relying on practices such as breath and meditation. The notion of interdependence is central, including even with people who may offend us. Practicing the four immeasurables, equanimity, love, compassion, and joy, can help bring closer relationships with all people, regardless of the annoyances they may cause.

    • Finding Shared Humanity in Conflict ZonesRecognize the common humanity in everyone, even in those we consider enemies. Practice 'just like me' meditation to build interdependence and maintain composure during difficult situations. Tie oneself to values and communicate respectfully to navigate challenging circumstances.

      Sujatha Baliga emphasizes the importance of eroding the notion of an enemy and finding shared humanity with them. One should find their anchor in conflict zones and tether themselves to their values to be their best selves. The 'just like me' meditation helps boost the muscle of interdependence, where one recognizes that the other person wishes to be happy, avoid suffering and live in peace, just like them. Applying this mindset helps to avoid anger towards even the worst of situations and people. Baliga advises putting on the person who helps you be your best self on your shoulder during difficult situations. By finding shared values and communicating respectfully, one can navigate through challenging circumstances.

    • Reframing Justice and Language through Restorative PracticesRestorative justice invites us to see people who have caused harm through a lens of connectedness, use language mindfully and gently, and acknowledge our shared desire for happiness and freedom from suffering.

      Restorative justice emphasizes on understanding the humanity and circumstances of those who have caused harm and reimagines justice that addresses the root cause, heals the harm, and transforms relationships. Language plays a significant role in shaping identity and our connection to others, and it's essential to use language that doesn't label individuals and is mindful of the verbs in indigenous languages that show how identities are always in flux and flow. Practicing gentleness towards ourselves and others is critical in this process, and it requires suspending our judgments and acknowledging that everyone wants to be happy and free from suffering. Restorative justice invites us to reframe how we see people who have caused harm and understand their interconnectedness with us and the world.

    • Embracing Positive Change for a Brighter Future.Keep moving forward towards a brighter future by embracing positive change and seeking new opportunities, even if it means letting go of the past. Resources such as restorative justice and youth diversion programs offer alternatives to the criminal legal system.

      We are all in a constant state of change, but it's important to consider where we are headed. Sujatha Baliga reflects on the destination she wants to reach and hopes to travel with people moving towards brotherhood, regardless of their past mistakes. She shares resources for the restorative justice system and youth diversion programs that provide an alternative to the criminal legal system. We can learn from the example of Buddha's convert, a former serial killer, who found his way to a better path. It's important to keep moving forward and seek positive change, even if it means letting go of the past and embracing new opportunities.

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    In this episode we talk about:


    • Why quality interactions at work are so important for our professional success and personal mental health
    • Why Gallo believes one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to dealing with difficult people in the workplace 
    • Why avoidance isn’t usually an option 
    • What the research tells us about work friendships
    • Why we have a tendency to dehumanize people who have more power than us
    • Why passive aggressive people can be the most difficult to deal with
    • The provocative question of whether we are part of the problem when work conflict crops up
    • And, a taxonomy of the eight different flavors of difficult coworkers, including the pessimist, the victim, the know-it-all, and the insecure boss — with tactics for managing each. 




    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/amy-gallo-576

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    How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.   


    Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.


    This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. 


    In this episode we talk about:

    • Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level
    • The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory”
    • The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness 
    • Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships
    • What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)
    • How to reframe social rejection
    • The importance of generosity
    • How to handle conflict with your friends
    • The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships
    • When to walk away from a relationship 
    • How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines
    • How to deal with social anxiety
    • And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561

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    Does Mindfulness Actually Make You Happier (or Better) at Work? | Prof. Lindsey Cameron

    Does Mindfulness Actually Make You Happier (or Better) at Work? | Prof. Lindsey Cameron

    People have mixed feelings about the popularization of mindfulness and meditation over the last 10 or 15 years with some referring to it as “McMindfulness.”


    The critiques can be worthy and the mainstreaming of meditation and mindfulness also have helped millions of people upgrade their lives. One of the many areas where mindfulness and meditation have made inroads of late is the workplace. 


    All sorts of employers are offering their teams access to meditation via apps or in-person training. But does this stuff actually work? Does it really make you happier at work or better at your job? And what techniques produce which benefits?


    Professor Lindsey Cameron is an Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Management. Her research focuses on mindfulness as well as the future of work. She has a 20 year practice, having studied and taught primarily in the Vipassana and non-dual traditions. In her prior career, Professor Cameron spent over a decade in the US intelligence and in diplomatic communities serving the Middle East, Africa, and Europe.


    In this episode we talk about:

    • What companies mean when they talk about mindfulness at work
    • What the mindfulness at work research says and how Prof. Cameron parses the results
    • The ways mindfulness helps us counteract our inherent biases and stereotypes
    • Which specific practices are most beneficial, depending on the situation 
    • Prof. Cameron’s tips for integrating small mindfulness moments into our everyday routines 
    • Where she stands on the whole “McMindfulness” debate
    • Prof. Cameron’s research into the gig economy — and how, paradoxically, an Uber worker can feel a sense of autonomy and freedom even though the work is ultimately being dictated by an algorithm



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lindsey-cameron-577

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