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    900: Is Three a Crowd When Parents Swing Out Loud? | Feedback Friday

    en-usSeptember 22, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Inspiring items and exceptional experiencesThe new Lexus GX and inspiring snowboard exemplify exceptional items that inspire us to exceed our limitations, while the PGA of America uses T-Mobile's 5G solutions to enhance coaching tools and bring fans closer to the pros.

      Exceptional items can inspire us to exceed our limitations. This was exemplified in the story of a newbie snowboarder and her inspiring snowboard. Similarly, the all-new Lexus GX with its advanced technology and luxurious features is designed to inspire and enable exceptional experiences. In other news, the PGA of America is utilizing T-Mobile's 5G solutions to enhance coaching tools and bring fans closer to the pros. During the Jordan Harbinger Show, we explore the wisdom of fascinating individuals and transform their insights into practical advice for everyday life. This week, Forrest Galante and Jen Cohen shared their stories, offering valuable lessons on perseverance and boldness. On Fridays, we share listener letters, offer advice, and roast Gabriel for his extensive knowledge of obscure sex terms and foreign languages. And as we reached episode 900, we took a moment to appreciate the journey and the impact of consistently putting out new content.

    • The Complexity of FriendshipsFriendships can involve unexpected behaviors and choices, and it's essential to respect each other's decisions while considering the impact on others.

      Friendships can be complex and surprising. A couple, Adam and Susie, who appeared to have a traditional family life, were discovered to have a different lifestyle when they began spending weekends away without their children, engaging in activities that raised suspicions. Despite the differences, the original couple chose to maintain their friendship, acknowledging that everyone has the right to their own choices. However, the situation became more complicated when a new friend, Emma, entered the picture, spending extensive time at their house and sharing their bed. The children's awareness of these circumstances is unclear, adding another layer of complexity to the situation. The episode underscores the importance of respecting others' choices while also considering the potential impact on those around them.

    • Supporting a Friend's Child in a Complex Family SituationEncourage open conversations with children in complex family situations, prioritizing their emotional well-being while respecting parents' privacy.

      While Susie, Adam, and Emma may be openly flaunting their unconventional relationship as a "throuple," the impact on their children is a concern. The letter writer, a friend of the family, has noticed their oldest daughter becoming withdrawn and emotionally flat. She feels torn between wanting to support the daughter and respecting the parents' privacy. However, she believes that having open conversations with the daughter could help address any potential issues. It's important to remember that every family situation is unique, and while the parents may not care what others think, the children's emotional well-being should be a priority. The letter writer should approach the situation with sensitivity and offer a listening ear to the daughter, allowing her to share if and when she feels comfortable.

    • Considering the Consequences of Asking Intrusive QuestionsFriends should weigh potential benefits and risks before asking intrusive questions about their friends' lives, especially when it comes to their children, to ensure everyone's privacy and well-being are respected.

      While it's natural for a close friend to be curious about their friends' lives, especially when it comes to their children, it's essential to consider the potential consequences of asking intrusive questions. In this situation, a friend notices her friends' unconventional relationship and their daughter's frequent visits to their house. She's unsure if she should ask about it directly, fearing that she might invade their privacy, put their daughter in an uncomfortable position, or even complicate things further. However, it's also important to note that the friends in question might be open about their lifestyle and welcome such questions. The friend could consider having an open and non-judgmental conversation with them before approaching their daughter. Ultimately, the friend's intentions are good, but she must weigh the potential benefits and risks before taking action. It's crucial to prioritize the well-being and privacy of all parties involved.

    • Open communication and consideration for children's understanding are vitalParents in unconventional lifestyles must communicate openly with their kids and consider their understanding. Friends can offer support and guidance but shouldn't fix the situation. Growing up in such environments can be confusing, and parents must be aware of potential impacts.

      Open communication and consideration for children's understanding are crucial when engaging in unconventional lifestyles. The conversation between Susie and her friend revealed potential issues with Adam and Susie's attunement to their children and the impact of their lifestyle on their kids' perception. It's essential to approach such topics openly, respectfully, and nonjudgmentally, but it's not the friend's responsibility to fix the situation. However, they can offer support and guidance to help Susie and Adam navigate conversations with their kids. The friend's role is to be a safe person for the children as they grow up and maintain appropriate boundaries. It's also essential to recognize that growing up in such an environment can be confusing and potentially damaging for kids. Ultimately, it's crucial for parents to be aware of how their actions may affect their children and foster open communication to help them understand.

    • Children can understand more than adults thinkAdults should be mindful of their actions and consider the impact on children and others, even in uncomfortable situations.

      Adults sometimes underestimate children's understanding of their actions and situations, even in uncomfortable or inappropriate environments. The speaker shared an experience at a party where it was suspected that infidelity was taking place, and a child present seemed to be aware of the situation. Another story involved a friend encountering a couple engaging in inappropriate behavior at a sushi restaurant, which turned out to be a code for a swingers night. The speaker also learned about the term "dog shows" being used in the swinging community to refer to events where older, unattractive people gather. These experiences highlight the importance of adults being mindful of their actions and the potential impact on children and others around them.

    • Balancing pregnancy and personal projectsHigh performers maintain focus and commitment during pregnancy, making time for hobbies once demands decrease, and fear of losing hobbies is not entirely true with patience and understanding.

      It's normal to feel disappointed and guilty about having to put aside personal projects during pregnancy, but it's important to remember that being a parent is a long-term commitment and it's possible to make time for hobbies once the child's needs become less demanding. The speaker emphasizes that even though energy levels may be lower during pregnancy, high performers still have impressive focus and commitment that can be applied to their work and future passions. Additionally, the fear of never being able to pick up hobbies again once the baby arrives is not entirely true, as there are many parents who manage to make time for their interests despite the demands of parenthood. The key is to have patience and understand that energy levels and circumstances will change over time.

    • Challenging feelings of guilt during significant life transitionsDuring life transitions like pregnancy, it's normal to feel guilty due to conflicting expectations or priorities. Embrace change, rest, and make peace with it. Remember, personal goals will still be there when you're ready.

      During significant life transitions, such as pregnancy, it's essential to question and challenge feelings of guilt. These feelings might stem from a perceived failure to meet personal expectations or a conflict between different aspects of oneself. However, it's crucial to remember that exhaustion and changing priorities are inevitable and beyond our control. Instead of fighting these changes, try embracing them and making peace with them. Allow yourself to rest and enjoy the special phase of pregnancy, as it's a unique experience that will pass quickly. Remember, your goals and passions will still be there when you're ready to pick them up again. Lastly, consider the perspective of those who have gone through similar experiences, like having a business and raising a family. They often find that work will always be there, and the precious moments with their children are invaluable. So, make room for both in your life.

    • Understanding debt implications in relationshipsConsult a financial planner for guidance on managing and addressing student debt in relationships. Consider moral and ethical implications, and be aware of state laws regarding bankruptcy, debt counseling, and asset and debt treatment in marriage.

      When considering a relationship with someone who carries significant student debt, it's crucial to understand the legal and financial implications before merging finances. The specific laws in your state regarding bankruptcy, debt counseling, and asset and debt treatment in marriage can greatly impact your situation. It's recommended to consult with a certified financial planner for guidance on managing and addressing the debt together. Additionally, considering the moral and ethical implications of the debt, especially if it was incurred due to predatory practices, is also essential in making an informed decision.

    • Seeking good advice and considering potential consequencesAvoid a 'credit score be damned' mentality, view grad school as an investment, consult a financial planner, and consider partner's values and compatibility.

      When dealing with significant financial decisions, it's crucial to seek good advice and avoid a "credit score be damned" mentality. This mentality, as David emphasized, could potentially lead to unintended financial consequences, such as difficulty buying a home or a car, or having to bear the burden of debt solely. Regarding grad school, it's essential to view it as an investment and consider its potential impact on one's earning potential. A certified financial planner's guidance is recommended, as they are held to a fiduciary standard. Moreover, it's important to consider the values and mindset of your partner when dealing with debt and financial challenges. Their response to your help and support can reveal a lot about their compatibility and adaptability in a relationship. Ultimately, it's about making informed decisions and ensuring that your partner's attitude towards debt aligns with your values and long-term goals.

    • Stepping up to new responsibilities for growthSeizing opportunities for temporary leadership can lead to growth, recognition, and valuable relationships. Prepare for future opportunities by seeking feedback and maintaining trust.

      Seizing opportunities and stepping up to new responsibilities, even temporarily, can lead to significant growth and recognition within an organization. The speaker in this discussion did just that, taking on a leadership role during his manager's absence and excelling in it. His experience not only earned him positive feedback from his team and leadership but also built valuable relationships. However, it's essential to consider the long-term implications of such opportunities. Expert Alyssa Cohen advised against trying to undermine the returning manager and instead suggested leveraging the experience to prepare for future opportunities. This might involve setting up one-on-ones with higher-ups to discuss what was learned and seek feedback for continued growth. Ultimately, trusting the manager to resume her role and maintaining that trust is crucial.

    • Effective communication and a gracious attitude can help navigate challengesExpressing goals, seeking mentorship, handling transitions, and being understanding in personal situations can lead to growth and stronger relationships.

      Effective communication and a gracious attitude can help you navigate professional and personal challenges. In the workplace, expressing your career goals and seeking mentorship can lead to growth opportunities. It's essential to handle transitions smoothly and maintain positive relationships with colleagues and managers. In personal situations, being understanding and empathetic towards others' experiences and concerns can help preserve relationships and prevent unnecessary conflicts. Remember, being gracious and ambitious go hand in hand. In the personal story shared, the writer's partner's aversion to alcohol has caused tension in social situations and strained friendships. The writer has adapted by limiting her alcohol consumption around him, but it feels like she's hiding it. The partner's reluctance to seek therapy for his trauma adds to the issue. In this situation, open communication and finding a compromise that respects both partners' needs could help improve the situation. It's essential to remember that everyone has unique experiences and challenges, and approaching them with understanding and empathy can lead to stronger, healthier relationships.

    • Respecting each other's boundaries in alcohol useMaintain open communication, validate feelings, and encourage exploration to find balance in alcohol use within a relationship.

      While it's important to be sensitive to a partner's past traumas and feelings around alcohol, it's also important for individuals to maintain their own sense of freedom and autonomy within a relationship. The speaker acknowledges the partner's past experiences and the impact they may have on his feelings towards alcohol, but also emphasizes the need for open communication and understanding. The speaker suggests validating the partner's feelings and expressing empathy, while also encouraging him to explore the root causes of his reactions to alcohol. Ultimately, it's important for both partners to find a balance between respecting each other's boundaries and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

    • Communicating effectively to resolve alcohol-related conflictsDiscuss concerns, acknowledge perspectives, and consider therapy to address underlying emotions and find a balance in relationships.

      Effective communication and understanding are crucial in resolving conflicts around sensitive issues, such as alcohol consumption, in relationships. In this case, the speaker feels restricted in her life due to her partner's rigid stance on alcohol, which she perceives as unfair and unreasonable. She suggests that both partners should discuss their concerns and underlying emotions, acknowledging each other's perspectives and experiences. The root cause of the partner's stance might be rooted in past traumas or fears, and therapy could be beneficial in addressing these underlying issues. Ultimately, the couple needs to find a balance that respects both partners' needs and values while ensuring a harmonious relationship.

    • Focusing on individual healing and growthEffective communication, self-reflection, and personal growth are essential for maintaining healthy and respectful relationships.

      While it's important to be considerate of each other's past experiences and feelings, it's equally important for individuals to take responsibility for their own healing and growth. In the discussion, it was emphasized that each partner should focus on their own work, rather than expecting the other to accommodate their histories to the point of compromising their current relationship. The idea of over-accommodation was explored, and it was suggested that the husband in this scenario should work on his own feelings towards his ex and his alcohol use, while the wife should communicate effectively about her concerns without invalidating his experiences. The conversation also touched upon the concept of exposure therapy as a potential solution for desensitizing the husband to the wife's drinking. Overall, the key takeaway is that effective communication, self-reflection, and personal growth are essential for maintaining healthy and respectful relationships.

    • Unexpected encounters can lead to self-reflection and personal growthLife experiences, especially unexpected ones, have the power to challenge our perceptions and inspire growth. Seek introspection and make responsible choices for a clearer perspective and greater opportunities.

      Life experiences, both good and bad, have the power to shape and define us. Matthew McConaughey shared a story on the Jordan Harbringer Podcast about how an unexpected encounter led him to question his identity and seek self-reflection. He realized that everyone is a mirror, and our perceptions of ourselves and others can change in an instant. Additionally, McConaughey emphasized the importance of personal growth and making responsible choices, as they can lead to greater freedom and opportunities in the future. The experience of losing a father also taught him the value of sobriety, or gaining a clear perspective on things in life. Overall, this anecdote highlights the transformative impact of life events and the importance of introspection and personal growth. Listen to episode 455 of the Jordan Harbringer Show for the full interview with Matthew McConaughey.

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    On This Week's Feedback Friday:

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    • Halfway through your Master of Legal Studies program, an ad for AI legal services popped up. Suddenly, your degree looks about as future-proof as a Blockbuster membership card. How can you safeguard your Atticus Finch aspirations without being ground down by the mocking march of the machines? [Thanks — again — to attorney Corbin Payne for helping us answer this one!]
    • You've got front-row seats to a family's horror show, complete with questionable parenting and kids who look like they could use a hug (or therapy). As a concerned friend whose perspective is admittedly biased by your own abusive upbringing, how can you swoop in for the save without nuking your relationship or crossing lines that can't be uncrossed?
    • You're the company's sales superstar who just got kneecapped by the corporate fun police. After pouring your heart and soul into a presentation that was deader on arrival than disco, how will you dust yourself off and keep your mojo intact when the higher-ups have made it clear your ideas are about as well-received as a Christmas morning telemarketer?
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: <a href="https://jordanharbinger.com/1009"...

    1008: Brian Klaas | Embracing Uncertainty in a World of Flukes

    1008: Brian Klaas | Embracing Uncertainty in a World of Flukes

    Unexpected moments can change the world. Brian Klaas, author of Fluke, reveals how embracing life's randomness can empower us to make a difference.

    What We Discuss with Brian Klaas:

    • Tiny actions or events can have massive downstream effects and consequences, as illustrated by historical examples like how a decades-old vacation spared Kyoto from nuclear bombing in WWII.
    • Our lives and human history are shaped by chaos theory and random flukes, such as the asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs or chance evolutionary events that led to complex life.
    • Humans have cognitive biases that make us seek patterns and explanations, even when events are random. This can lead to superstitions, conspiracy theories, and a false sense of control.
    • Wealth and success are often more influenced by luck and arbitrary factors than we like to admit, challenging the idea of pure meritocracy.
    • While we can't control everything, we can influence the world around us through our actions. By embracing this mindset, we can feel more empowered and find meaning in our daily choices, recognizing that even small moments can have a significant impact on the future.
    • And much more...

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1008

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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    What We Discuss with Tom Hardin:

    • The factors that led Tom Hardin toward the temptation of illegal insider trading.
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    • The art of wearing a wire, maintaining silence even among family and friends, and other struggles of an FBI informant.
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    • And much more...

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/918 

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals 

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! 

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    256: Malcolm Gladwell | What We Should Know about Talking to Strangers

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    Malcolm Gladwell (@gladwell) has written bestsellers that are probably on your shelf right now, including The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, and What the Dog Saw. His latest book is Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know.

    What We Discuss with Malcolm Gladwell:

    • Why, if we don't know how to talk to strangers, we invite conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world.
    • Why the information we gather from face-to-face human interaction isn't as uniquely valuable as we think it is.
    • Why television makes us worse at reading other people.
    • Why we think we can tell if someone is lying, guilty, or deceptive -- and why we're almost always wrong.
    • What determines the direction of Malcolm's projects, and how he researches and organizes the massive amount of information that goes into them.
    • And much more...

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/256

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    365: Benjamin Hardy | How to Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs

    365: Benjamin Hardy | How to Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs

    Benjamin Hardy (@BenjaminPHardy) is an organizational psychologist and author of Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success and Personality Isn't Permanent: Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs and Rewrite Your Story.

    What We Discuss with Benjamin Hardy:

    • Why treating the results of a "scientific" personality test like Myers & Briggs or Enneagram as gospel is akin to trusting horoscopes to safely guide your life decisions -- inaccurate and potentially dangerous.
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    • What looking back at the person you were 10 or 20 years ago should reveal about personality as an unfixed, malleable quality.
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    Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/365

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    705: Gabe’s Front-Row Seat to Florid Psychosis | Feedback Friday

    705: Gabe’s Front-Row Seat to Florid Psychosis | Feedback Friday

    On this Feedback Friday, Gabe relays the tragic story of a paranoid schizophrenic neighbor that illustrates just how destabilizing unchecked mental illness can be for family members, friends, neighbors, and the patients themselves.

    And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/705

    On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

    • Gabe relays the tragic story of a paranoid schizophrenic neighbor that illustrates just how destabilizing unchecked mental illness can be for family members, friends, neighbors, and the patients themselves.
    • In spite of having a dream job and a significant other who checks most of your boxes, current circumstances make imagining a future in your native Russia difficult. Unfortunately, this significant other comes from a conservative family and doesn't understand why you'd ever want to move abroad. Are your differences too radical to build a life together?
    • Your boss is an incredible leader who commands respect across the board. Unfortunately, a family tragedy has overwhelmed her with grief. How can your team offer support without intruding on her personal life?
    • Your significant other is great in every respect -- except for when he gets in a "mood" and resorts to calling you names and putting you down. Where do you draw the line on verbal abuse?
    • Is it possible to profit from selling your business idea when you don't have the financial means to create your own startup around that idea?
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    956: Cannabis | Skeptical Sunday

    956: Cannabis | Skeptical Sunday

    What are the social, political, and medical ramifications of cannabis use? Michael Regilio is the Chong to Jordan's Cheech on this Skeptical Sunday!

    On This Week's Skeptical Sunday, We Discuss:

    • The historical use of cannabis in the Middle Ages and colonial times.
    • The criminalization of cannabis in the 20th century and the slow reversal of its prohibition.
    • The effects of THC and CBD.
    • Why modern cannabis is so much more potent than the strains our parents used to sneak.
    • The benefits of legal cannabis.
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. If you have something you'd like us to tackle here on Skeptical Sunday, drop Jordan a line at jordan@jordanharbinger.com and let him know!
    • Connect with Michael Regilio at TwitterInstagram, and YouTube, and make sure to check out the Michael Regilio Plagues Well With Others podcast here or wherever you enjoy listening to fine podcasts!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/956

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!