832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
en
January 27, 2025
TLDR: Andy provides advice on coping with self-criticism, pursuing bigger aspirations, and recovering from business failures.

In this insightful episode, Andy Frisella tackles pressing questions about self-criticism, goal achievement, and recovering from failures. Aimed at helping listeners cultivate resilience and embrace imperfection, this Q&A episode brings forward compelling advice for anyone on the entrepreneurial journey.
Key Themes Discussed
Embracing Imperfection
One of the first questions focuses on the struggle with perfectionism. A listener opens up about spending excessive time obsessing over details. Andy responds:
- Perfection Fosters Ignorance: Striving for perfection can hinder growth and skill development. Mistakes, more than flawless execution, are crucial learning experiences.
- Value in Mistakes: Andy emphasizes that the errors made early on, when the stakes are low, are invaluable lessons that pave the way for success in the future.
- Resilience Building: It's essential to embrace mistakes as part of the learning process, acknowledging that they teach resilience and grit which are necessary for long-term success.
The Path to Achieving Bigger Goals
Next, Andy answers a question from a listener on feeling underqualified despite solid experience in the healthcare sector:
- Limitations are Self-Imposed: Many people fail to realize that their perceived limitations often stem from societal conditioning. Andy posits that everyone has the potential to achieve remarkable success, just like those they admire.
- Initiative is Key: Encouraging the listener to reach out to higher-ups within their organization, he stresses the importance of taking initiative towards one’s goals. Engaging actively with those who can help elevate one's career is crucial.
- Think Big: Andy advocates for thinking expansively and taking steps towards your true aspirations rather than settling for mediocrity. Surprise your expectations and aim for more than what feels immediately attainable.
Bouncing Back from Failures
The episode culminates in discussing how to recuperate from self-sabotaging behaviors after initial success:
- Recognize and Own Up: Acknowledging missteps, such as past financial decisions and lifestyle choices that led to debt, is the first step in recovery.
- Shift Your Focus: Andy advises putting the focus back on providing value to clients and customers instead of funding a lifestyle. This shift fuels sustainable success.
- Learn from Experience: Each failure provides crucial lessons that can safeguard against future pitfalls. Documenting these lessons visibly, like on a bathroom mirror, can serve as a constant reminder to stay on the right path.
- Get Back on Track: Andy suggests utilizing the framework of the 75 Hard program, which fosters daily discipline, as a means to regain control in various aspects of life.
Conclusion
The episode urges listeners to reflect on their attitudes towards perfection, growth, and the value of perseverance. It fosters a mindset shift from fear of inadequacy to celebration of each small victory on the path to success. By integrating Andy's suggestions, individuals can learn to embrace their imperfections, set ambitious goals, and bounce back with renewed strength from failures.
Key Takeaways:
- Mistakes are Essential for Growth: Don’t fear imperfection; learn from it.
- Self-Value Beyond Limitations: The boundaries you feel are often self-imposed.
- Initiative Matters: Take active steps towards reaching your aspirations.
- Own Your Journey: Acknowledge failures and use them as stepping stones.
Listeners are encouraged to take to heart the lessons discussed and apply them in pursuit of their goals, fostering a culture of resilience and a deep understanding of personal potential.
Was this summary helpful?
on the floor, now my jury box froze, fuck up old, fuck up stole, county millions in the cold, bad bitch, booty swole, got a on bank roll, can't fold, doesn't know, hit, shot, case closed
What is up, guys? It's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the Realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fitness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfuckingreality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. You could submit your questions a couple of different ways. The first way is, guys, email these questions and to ask Andy at AndyForSulli.com or you go on YouTube.
drop your question in the comments section on the q&a episodes will choose some from there as well now throughout the week we've got shows within the show we're gonna have cti tomorrow that stands for crews the internet that's what we put topics on the screen we speculate on what's going on we talk about what's true and what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world
Other times we have real talk, we throw those in once in a while, five to 20 minutes, and we're giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. That's where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how you can use the 75 hard program to transform your life. If you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program.
The LiveArt program is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever, and it's free. You can get it for free on our podcast, Audio Feed Only. It's not on YouTube. Podcast, Audio Feed Only, episode 208. Give you the entire program for free.
If you're someone who wants to know the intricate details of the program, you can buy the book. The book is available at AndyForCella.com. It is called the Book on Mental Toughness. It has the entire LiveHard program plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how you can use it to cultivate the life of your dreams, and you can get that at AndyForCella.com. Again, that's the book on mental toughness. One thing about our show before we get going here is we do things a little bit different. We don't run ads on the show.
Unless it's for this amazing first form, scream and freedom energy drink. We might run an ad or two on that. But, otherwise we don't run ads. And I don't run ads because I don't want to listen to someone tell me what I can and can't say. We try to keep it real here. And we ask very simply, in exchange for that, that you help us grow the show, okay? So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective of something that you think needs to be shared. Do us a favor, don't be a ho, show the show.
Alright, I'll hope you won there. I got one cracked open. What you got? Little screaming for you. Oh, yeah. I'm on a scream of freedom today, too, bro. Makes me want to scream some freedom. It does scream the freedom. Let freedom scream. You know what I'm saying? Let freedom scream.
What's going on though, man? Nothing, dude. Yeah. Ready to kick some ass. Yeah. Makes people better. Yes, go. It never felt so good. Never feels good. So good, you know, than it does today to make people better. I don't know what you're trying. I don't know. Let's just do the show, man. I just got to give you give me what you got. Yeah, I give it to you, man. I know you will. Yeah, guys. Hey, I got three goers for you, man. Are you sick over there? Are you cold?
You're cold. It's freezing in here. Is it? I really believe client comes in here and fucks with the thermostat. It's possible. You know what I'm saying? You told me? You guys are cold here? Really? It's freezing. Maybe you all shouldn't hide in here all day. It's my only safe space, man. It's my safe space. Yeah, man. Well, guys, let's get better today, guys. We got three good ones for you, Andy. Guys, any question? Number one.
Andy, I'm the kind of person who spends hours agonizing over every little detail. Whether it's a work project or decorating my home, it's exhausting. And even when I finish something, I rarely feel satisfied. My friends tell me I'm too hard on myself, but I feel like if I let go of my standards, I'll be mediocre. How can I learn to embrace imperfection without feeling like I'm settling for less?
Let's get this kicked off, Andy. Well, first of all, perfection will keep you ignorant and unskilled, okay? If you were perfect all the time, how could you learn how to be any better? And this is something that people have a really hard time with. They set out, they wanna do everything perfect, which by the way, you should wanna do everything perfect. But what happens is that they have a, you know, a hiccup or they have an obstacle or something doesn't go the way that they want, and they refuse to acknowledge the value
in that situation. And the truth of the matter is over the course of your life, over the course of your career, the mistakes you make are much more valuable than the perfection that you execute upon. Because the mistakes that you make are the things that teach you the skills, the resilience, the grit, the fortitude,
and everything that you need to know to be successful long term. So instead of being upset that you're not perfect in the beginning, you should be thankful that you're making these mistakes in the beginning when nobody's really paying attention to you. Because if you were to make those same mistakes 20 years from now when you're running a hundred million dollar operation, everybody's going to see them. Okay. So, and let's break this down further.
You can't get to a $100 million operation being perfect because you're not gonna be able to learn the skills that are required to operate at that level and then all the levels that come along the way. So you're saying you will fail before you even get that? Yeah, but dude, listen, the reason that people struggle is because they don't put enough value on the failures that they have. They're embarrassed, they get upset, they feel stupid, they start having doubts.
But they don't realize that every single business and every single entrepreneur and every single person that they look up to. The reason that you look up to them is very simple. They are willing to go out. They are willing to fall on their face over and over and over again. They don't give a shit when anybody thinks about it. They don't care what their friends say. They don't care what the media says. They don't care what anybody says. They're willing to fall down on their face.
understanding that whatever happens past that, they won't make that same mistake again and they keep moving. Being successful in anything is so simple. It's just that people aren't willing to go through the process of being embarrassed in front of people who quite honestly aren't going to matter over the course of your life.
Instead of wanting to be perfect, do your best to be perfect, and then when you mess up, instead of getting down on yourself, instead of feeling bad, instead of beating yourself up, say, hey, all right, that's good. I learned that.
right here from this and I'll never make that mistake again. And then when you're doing 10, 20, 50, 100, 200, 500 million dollars in that same situation presents itself, you're going to remember, hmm, the last time I did that, this is what happened. And if I do that same thing, now it's going to cost me this much more. So look, dude.
If you want to have a excruciating time being an entrepreneur, try to be perfect and get mad at yourself every time you mess up. If you want to enjoy the process and you want to enjoy it as much as you can because it is a brutal journey and it's very difficult and it's hard for everybody, including you, including me, including anybody else.
Learn to value the things that you're learning from the mistakes that you make just as much as you value the perfection that you happen to hit by accident along the way.
You know what I'm saying? It is by accident. Yeah, of course. If you don't have the skills and you don't, you know, like, you know, there's a thing, you can hit a fucking home run without being a good hitter. Sweet enough bad. Yeah, right. Like something. Look, man, you're going to do things right sometimes. That doesn't mean you're skilled. So.
Don't let your ego get out in front of you and think just because you've done a couple things in the beginning that you actually have the skills because the skills can only come from making mistakes over and over and over again or watching other people make mistakes and learning from their mistakes, which is a great way to learn as well.
Yeah, you know, Andy, you talk about, you know, even just like actualizing your own individual success. Like it's a, it's a strive thing, right? Like you're never actually going to reach that. So you look at perfection pretty much the same way. Like you're not going to really ever reach that fucking pivotal, but you're always striving to get as close to it as possible, right?
Yeah, I mean, look, dude, we're on a timescale, okay? You're going to run out of time eventually. Like the best entrepreneurs that I've ever met, they act like they're going to live forever. You talk to these people that are in their 70s and they're talking for the next 30 years. It's like, bro, you're going to be in a box, you know what I'm saying? But like they don't think they don't think that way. And like, for example, like if you took a guy like Jeff Bezos, I think Jeff Bezos is around 60 or so, right?
You take a guy like Bezos, you take everything he knows, right? And you give him 30 more years. He's gonna accomplish a whole bunch more, but what's he gonna learn in those 30 years? And then if he were able to live to 200, what would he be able to accomplish because of what he's learned the last 30 years of his life? So when you think about like what potential is for an individual, you have to understand that it's capped
only by the amount of time that we have. And so if you actually subscribe to the idea of always improving, always getting better,
actualizing your own potential, like you said, you're never going to be able to reach your potential because you're gaining skills along the way through the process that you don't have time to fucking execute on at the end of your life. Does that make sense? So the day that you die, if you've given it everything that you have, you actually have more skill and more potential than you've ever had before, which is why it's important to like transfer that knowledge as you go, right? But
You know, it's a weird to think about but I think you know when you think about what You're gonna be the most proud of as a driven individual and look dude. We're not talking to regular Joe's here Okay, we're talking to driven people we have to we have to clarify that
When you guys who are driven individuals, who are hungry, who are the go-getters, who want to win, when you guys get out to the end of your life, you're going to have regrets. And the reality is, is you get to choose through your actions what regrets you're going to have. And for entrepreneurs and people who are driven to achieve, build, create, and who drives society in the proper direction,
Those people are always going to ask themselves. They're going to say, well, did I give it everything I had? Could I have done more? What could I have done? Right? And they're going to pay the price, probably in some other areas of life. All right, that's the reality. But that's the trade off. Yeah, you're going to have a trade, dude. You're not going to have it all. Everybody who says you're going to have it all is you're not going to have it all. It's a trade. So.
But certain people are wired for this kind of life. And if you're the kind of person that's wired for that life, a lot of reflection is going to come down to, did I do everything I could to maximize what I'm wired to do? And
If you subscribe to the idea of your potential always expanding and your skillset always expanding, you know, you're, you're going to be proud of what you did because you're going to say, yeah, I continue to improve. I continue to innovate. I continue to reinvent myself. I continue to push. I continue to create. I continue to build. And I did that my whole life and I did everything I fucking could with the amount of time that I was given. And dude, that's, that's a noble thing because most people don't live that way.
Yeah. And then if you take that same idea and you apply it to, let's say, your relationship or you apply it to your friendships or you apply it to your family, you can really have a really good, well-rounded life without feeling like you have too many regrets. Like you're always going to have some regrets, man, I missed a couple of those soccer games or whatever the fuck it is, right? But there's a trade-off for the quality of life that you're going to have for the things that, you know,
you're gonna ultimately regret, and that's just reality. There's no way to get out of your life without looking back and being like, fuck, I should handle that different. And I think too, for most majority of people, that conversation that talk happens at the end of it, right? For sure. If you're lucky, though, you have the awareness. Well, you have some near-death experiences,
You know, bro, I'll also push that. I tell you this. I mean, look, man, every enlightened person that is like, totally gets it. They've always had some sort of near death experience. Yeah. Like, because you're having that conversation right there. Okay. So when I got stabbed when I was 23,
It was people get so weird when I say, dude, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, one of the reasons, there was a lot of reasons. It humbled me, it taught me a lot, taught me how to treat people better. There's a whole lot of things.
But one of the main things that it taught me is that your time is finite. And when that happened, I went from like kind of being like, I'm just be real, kind of like a tub of shit, you know, really not giving too much effort into my life. Kind of like, you know, it'll work itself out to being an aggressively
driven individual because of that, because I'm like, fuck dude, that could be taken away from me in a second. I don't know when that's going to happen. So I'm going to fucking go hard, right? And everybody I know that has gone super, super hard. They all you can always trace it back to something where their mortality was in jeopardy, you know?
Because it says you came real like shit. If I'm going right now, what did I do? Yeah, that's right, dude. Yeah, man. That's right. I love it, man. I love it. So don't be satisfied. Always works you do better and learn from the mistakes. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy.
I'm currently on day 27 of 75 Heart. I am learning so much about myself and my self-discipline. I have worked in healthcare for over 25 years in different genres, long-term care, day treatment, nursing homes, and patient's psych and most recently in hospitals. I'm not a clinician, but a manager of over 250 volunteers in a prestigious academic medical center.
I'm really good at what I do, and I have picked up so much knowledge along the way. I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree, and I know I can do more. The other day, I listened to my boss voice and reached out to the CEO and Chief Human Resources Officer for the entire system to ask them their thoughts of going back to school to attain a higher level within the system.
I now have a meeting with the chief HR officer to discuss my qualifications and what I can do. I know I can do more. And I'm wondering if you have any advice for me that I can use in my upcoming meeting. Thanks in advance.
Well, first of all, you can do even more than that. Like, you guys have to understand, all right, all these people that you look up to, all these people that you think have these special skills, or they're in these super high achievement areas of life, these people
Very few of them have any special skills that you don't have. Most of these people are just regular people. They are people just like you, bro. They put their pants on like you. They have problems just like you. They get frustrated. They get angry. They get disappointed. They get excited. They do stupid shit just like you, okay? There's no difference. And we make a mistake as humans when we look at other people
and we say they have something that I don't or they must be more qualified than me or they must be smarter than me or they come from a better family or they were born with more advantages and we're experts at telling ourselves all these reasons as to why other people are and we aren't okay and we have to get out of that habit because every single great thing that's ever been created
the history of the world was created by a human being and guess what you are. You are a human being just like them. You have access to more information, to more skill set, to faster learning than
anybody who has ever existed before you in the history of earth. So what is it about you that makes you incapable compared to everybody else? And I'm going to give you the answer. The answer is nothing. The answer is the belief in your ability to achieve and become things that nobody you have ever seen in your own
universe has done and that is our limiting beliefs. We look at everybody we know personally and we look at him and we say, okay, well, that's the most successful guy I know. He's a doctor. He makes $400,000 a year or makes $700,000 a year. He's got a nice house. He drives a Mercedes.
That is the limit of what I could maybe do, and I'm probably way below that because he's a doctor, okay? So we are, and what are we told growing up? We're told these things. Think about in school, dude. When you're a little bitty kid, your parents, if you had decent parents, they'll tell you. You could be anything you want. You could be the president one day, right? But then you go to school and in first grade, second grade, third grade, you know, they'll entertain that shit.
But by the time you're in fifth, sixth, seventh grade, they've started the process of indoctrinating you into your own limitations. They've started telling you, hey, DJ, I know you said you wanted to be a president, but you need to be more realistic. Okay, we need, we need to
We need to get you, you know, maybe you could work at 7-Eleven, you know, that'd be a, you could be the president of 7-Eleven. And they start telling you all this shit and instilling doubt in you. And bro, these are the, this is what's wrong with the education system. We, we deal, and by the way, it's not just the education system, it's our culture, okay? Your parents will start telling you that. They'll start telling you, well, you better, you better figure it out because you gotta, you only got a few more years left till you're out on your own. And they start putting all this extra pressure and doubt inside of us.
And then we get to high school, right? And we're like, you know, little DJs like, well, I wanna be president and you tell your friends that and they fucking make funny and they throw you in a locker, right? So, so over the course of time, our dreams, our goals, our aspirations, our belief in ourself is watered down by the environment that we all grow up in. And I believe, like we talk about on CTI, that that environment is intentionally created for the proposition of controlling the population, all right?
They listen to Tuesdays and Friday shows for that. Come back tomorrow for that one. Yeah, but the point is guys is that you don't really have limits. You have what you have been told your limits are and you have chosen to believe that those are your limits. And that's why you have this problem going for the things you really want. And instead going for the things that are more realistic, right? Like, man, I'd really like to have that, you know, that 40 ounce ribeye
But I'll take that three ounce fucking strip steak instead. It's almost same thing. No, it's not. There's a big fucking difference. Okay. And there's a big difference in you settling for this mediocre position and you actually going for what you want to be. So, so I say all that to say this.
I think it's great that you're taking initiative. I think it's great that you are starting to move in the right direction. I salute you. I think it's amazing. I think you need to continue on the live hard program for a number of years because the more years you do it, the more belief you will instill in yourself with the idea that you're going to get to a place where you're going to go to the max distance of what you really want. And that's what my suggestion would be for you.
Take the baby step right now, you're already in the process of it, but don't make that the step. That's a stepping stone to where you really want to be. And I would start thinking about where you really want to be and start taking action for what you really want to do because big dreams create big action, which create big results and little dreams create little action, which creates a little bitty life that we end up regretting.
You're much better than you think you are and you need to remember that most of the doubt and most of the things that you struggle with were installed in you by people around you who have already given up on what their life could have been and they want you to do so as well because it makes them feel more comfortable about their mediocre existence. It's all people who limited themselves. Correct. Passing this. Yes. It's crazy. Yeah, bro. It's crazy. It's everybody. Do you know how many people told me over the course of my life? Okay, I'm 45 years old.
You know, I don't even want to say what I'm worth because people get pissed, but it ain't fucking nine figures. Okay. It's more than that. All right. Yeah. I've built a bunch of different companies, been very successful, done a lot of fucking big things. And I was, I was the dumbest motherfucker ever. If you go back in grade school, everybody made fun of me. I got picked on in high school. I was a CD student. You know, there's not a single teacher that I ever fucking had ever.
that would fucking would have said, Andy Verssell is going to turn out like I have turned out. Not a single one. And that's no disrespect to them, okay? Because I didn't figure it out till after that. And if I had looked at me in high school, I would say the same. But I got to a point where I'm like, you know what, dude? I don't want any of these motherfuckers lives. I just don't. And that's, that's, and that is not me looking my nose down to whatever someone chooses for themselves. That's just not what I wanted.
Okay, I wanted to make a lot of money. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to travel. I wanted to have nice shit. I wanted to build companies. That is what I chose for myself and I didn't let anybody talk me out of it. Like when people would say, you know, little remarks and things like, dude, you're a little vitamin shop or this or that. Like, bro, I never, for one time did I think like, fuck, all we're going to be is a little vitamin shop. I would get like pissed and I would look at the motherfucker in my head and I'd be like, dude,
Fuck you. Like, I'm going to show you, bro. Watch this. Yeah. And we've done it, you know, and Sal's wired the same way. My business partners are all anybody I'm a business with has that chip on their shoulder. Yeah. Don't believe in us, bro. Fucking doubt us. Fucking make fun of us. Laugh, giggle, make remarks. Please do because I take all of that shit and I turn it into productive energy and I end up stepping on your fucking throat with that. So.
we have to learn as individuals to take all the negativity and disbelief and doubt and limits that people put on us and turn it into real action and shove it down their fucking throats. That's what you have to do. If you can't do that, you won't succeed because you get so much negativity and so much limiting belief and so much doubt and so much bullshit that happens over the course of the journey that you're on that if you can't take it and turn it into productive action,
It's gonna wear you down, bro, isn't you? It'll crush you. So you have to have it. It's not an option. And we have these people who say all this idealistic shit on the internet. Don't do it to prove them wrong. Do it to prove them right. What the fuck have you done? You see what I'm saying, bro? Like, bro, we have this scenario where people want to make
There's nobody that's that tough that can take all of that criticism, all of that pain, all of that doubt, all of that shit and fucking just wear it and not use it. You have to use it. We only have so much energy available to us. We have positive energy. Hey, I believe in you. Hey, you're qualified. Listen, you can do this. Okay, there's that. And then there's the fuck are you thinking? Bro, that's not for people like you.
You better be realistic, dude. You're gonna be broke. Now let me ask you. There's fucking six people in this room. Do you get more positive or do you get more negative? You don't get way more negative, bro. What do you guys get?
Every single motherfucker in here has gotten more negative than positive. Well, if you can only use the small amount of positive and you can't use a negative, you're missing out on most of the energy required to get where you want to go. So you have to learn to have that chip on your shoulder and you have to learn how to process negativity in order to produce the positive outcome that you're looking to create.
Yeah. I want to hit on this, man, because I think it's important. You said, you know, like, and we don't want to look down on anybody, if that's what they chose to do. Problem is, most people are settling in their lives. No. You're listening. You're correct. Here's what you're saying. And I agree with you. I have no problem.
with anybody, in fact, I admire people who are living the way they want to live. If it's actually the choice, if it's genuine and authentically what they want.
but that's not most people. Most people settle and then pretend that that's what they actually want. So that they can be noble. I could have done all that, but I chose, bro, I watched you. You didn't do shit. You laid on your couch and fucked off. You didn't try to do anything, right? And you got what you got, and now you're pretending like that's what you wanted. You're lying. Yeah, bro, listen, it's all bullshit.
Most people never become anything because they're lazy. They don't believe in themselves. They weren't willing to take a risk and put in work that doesn't have a guaranteed outcome. And then at the end of their life, they get to fucking look at themselves in the mirror and be like, fuck, I didn't do shit. And that's their trade off. So they get a comfortable life and a hard pill to swallow at the end of it.
Yeah, man. And by comfortable, I don't mean comfortable, I just mean like lazy comfortable. Yeah, right, right. Like they still gonna have high amounts of discomfort. You know, that's the other thing people don't understand. It's gonna be fucking hard no matter what, dude. Like it's going to be hard whether you put in all the work to become successful or whether you don't put any of the work and you fucking struggle your whole life.
You know, I actually, from the first fucking person that said, choose your heart back in two, I got the meme to prove it. Now everybody says it. But it is what it is. Lots of shit that I said, original. But yeah, dude, you choose your heart. You can either fucking choose the path of hard work and, you know, bare fruit, or you could choose the path of being lazy and it's going to be a hard life. And that's it. Yeah. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, start third and final question, Andy. We've got question number three.
Hey, Andy, I'm 25 and near bankruptcy. I started a business a few years ago in video production and quickly worked my way up to 250,000 a year, being the only one in the business. Over the past few months,
I'll let my ego get the best of me, and I have no money left. I'm behind on taxes, $60,000 in credit card debt, spends it all on going out and expensive purchases, and I got lazy and overweight. Lost quite a few clients and businesses slow over the winter, but I am working my way back.
What advice do you have for me or other entrepreneurs who have self sabotaged after getting their first success? Thank you guys. I hope this one makes it on the pot. And I think others can relate self sabotage. How do you what do you do after that moment? You realize self sabotage, bro. You just didn't know how to handle any kind of fucking good shit happening.
Okay, it's a normal lesson. That's a normal lesson of entrepreneurship. The difference is most people let that bury them and then they say, fuck, I tried being an entrepreneur and it didn't work. Okay, that's your least saying, all right, I recognize what I did. I got fat, I got lazy, I let my ego fuck and think I was the man and I spent all my money and now I'm in a fucking shitstorm. I can respect that. I respect the honesty and the fact that you're willing to own it says that, you know, I don't think you'll do that again.
Right? And that's a valuable lesson. So let's go back to the question that we asked question number one. How valuable is that lesson for you to be $60,000 in debt instead of $60 million in debt 10 years from now? Right. Okay. So you're learning a very valuable lesson that is going to be relatively cheap. And I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but it's going to be relatively cheap for you to learn.
versus what it would cost you in five, 10, 15 years. So first off, I'd be thankful that you're an idiot and that you're an idiot now and not later. Okay. Secondly, I would take out a piece of paper and I would write the lesson.
right there on the piece of paper and a big ass fucking Sharpie marker and I'd take that motherfucker on your bathroom mirror and everywhere you need to see it because if you have the tendency to do this, you're gonna have the tendency to do it again, okay? Because you are playing the entrepreneur game for the wrong reasons and you need to adjust those reasons and what I mean by that is this. You are playing to
to fund a lifestyle and you need to be playing to create impact and value in your customer base. And if you create impact and value in your customer base, you will make so much money that your lifestyle won't be a problem. So let's take the, let's be honest about your motivation because you didn't make much money, bro. I mean, I know that you think you made a lot of money, but you didn't. Okay. And then you figure out a way to fucking spend it.
You need to understand that if you really want to have a great lifestyle, you got to take the focus off of yourself and you got to put it on your people. You got to put it on your company and the rest of that shit will take care of itself. Okay. So let's make that adjustment right now. Let's make a conscious, uh, you know,
point to not make this mistake again and let's start digging it out. And you say, okay, well, what do I do to dig out? Well, fuck bro, you got to start chipping away. You know, there's no, there's no magic success fairies could fly down and give you a check for a hundred grand to get you out of your hole. That's it. You're going to have to go. You're going to have to do the work. I would recommend getting on the live hard program, starting 75 hard, getting your fat ass back in shape, getting your mental sharp, and everything else will follow that.
Let me ask you this Andy, because I've heard this before. I don't think you've ever really talked about this, but.
What is the right way to win? Meaning like, how do you celebrate the win, like the right way, like winners know how to win, right? Like act like you've been here before. My coach used to tell me that all the time act like you've been here before, right? What's the appropriate way to do it in six minutes? I mean, let's be real, dude. Do you see fucking Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or fucking any, do you see me or fucking anybody in the club popping bottles and acting like they're fucking first time they ever got a fucking dollar? Right. Do you see that? Oh, not at all. Right.
Because it ain't and i don't know anybody successful acts like like some of these fuckers online like you know like the shit they do we're fucking it's embarrassing and it makes them look like amateurs so yeah you know be classy be cool reward yourself you know but realize that.
You know, people are the people that don't like you aren't going to like you no matter what you do. So you got to do what you like. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of people that fucking don't like me because I drive fucking cool ass shit and I fucking post on the internet. But you know why I do that? Because there's a lot of people that are young and he's out there. They're going to think that shit's awesome and be aspiring to fucking kick ass because they're like, fuck, OK, if I go kick ass, I could drive a cool car. I could drive a bunch of them. I could drive a different one every day of the month.
You know what I'm saying? I can live on a fucking historic, it's inspiring, bro. There's a difference between inspiring and just being a fucking jackass. These dudes on the internet throwing money in the air and shit. It's not like it's a fine line. It's a pretty big one. It's just fucking, don't be a douchebag. That's what it comes down to. I love it, man. Look, dude, this guy here, you got a long way before you should be buying any cars.
spending money and vacations or club. Like dude, I see man. Now this brother, the internet, the internet's a really fucking hard place.
because it causes people who are doing pretty good to do really dumb shit that keeps them from doing better. Like buying exotic car too early. I gotta get a watch. Or traveling private when it's fucking a hundred times more expensive too early, just so you could take a picture for the Instagram. Like, dude, that shit will bury your fucking ass. You know what I mean? And the truth of the matter is, is like,
If I, you know, I don't know. I just, I just, I just think you should live below your means for as long as you fucking possibly can. And that's it. I love it. Yeah. I love it. Guys, forever. Yeah. Like bro, like these people that you see living in a $20 million house and having fucking, you know, $30 million a car, you don't realize how much money those motherfuckers have made.
They're living within their means. You just don't get it. You have never conceptualized the amount of money that you can make if you went out and built something real.
And because of that, you think that other people that are wealthy are spending all their money on lifestyle and shit when they're not, they're spending a small percentage on it, and then they're using their money to create more money, which pays for their life. You see what I'm saying? And it's unfortunate, I'm pretty thankful that I built most of the base in the foundation of my success personally before social media really took off.
And then I was able to leverage those skill sets into digital but One thing that I had that that these other guys don't have is I didn't have You know 200 fucking knuckleheads in my in my face every day with Lamborghinis and fucking flashy watches and shit like distracting me like I didn't have that like I I was I had Tony Robbins books. Yeah
I think that's a perfect word to distraction. Yeah, I never felt like, I never felt like, fuck, I need to buy this watch because he has this watch. Or I need to go out and sacrifice the growth of my company because I need this car. That was never a thing for me because the internet wasn't what it is today. And now we have a lot of people who, they compare themselves to these motherfuckers online. And as you guys are seeing, more and more and more of these guys are getting caught up in
lawsuits and federal cases and indictments. And it's just showing you like this isn't real. They're not real. Like if they haven't built a real company, if they don't have employees and they haven't built multiple companies and you can't order their products and you can't see what they built. You can't experience their company. Like motherfucker, you shouldn't be fucking paying them for business advice. You just shouldn't. Like why the fuck would you do that? You see what I'm saying?
and we have a lot of people who don't know any better, and it's sad. And this is part of the reason why I'm starting an MFCO project again, because for the last four years, and by the way, we're keeping this show going, it's gonna be on an app, but for the last four years, we focused on, dude, cultural awareness, like, hey, well, if we fucking lose here, there ain't gonna be an opportunity for any fertile soil. Well, now we're gonna get our fertile soil back, and young people are gonna have to learn how to really win. So I wanna turn my focus back because I have built a number of very real things
to training these younger people how to actually build things and actually win not just this hocus pocus fucking bullshit. You know, cause dude, for us to keep this country, it's very, you know, we talk about this all the time, dude, you gotta have the soil and then you gotta plant the seeds and harvest out of it. And we were about to have soil that would never allow us to plant seeds and harvest out of it. And now we are going to have that and you guys need to learn how to plant and fucking harvest.
And so that's what I'm going to do. And I was called to do it. I felt called to do it again because I see so much fucking garbage out there of people being misled and taken advantage of and taught things that aren't real by people who've never done anything because they, you know, it's because what they see on the internet like bro. It's not it. No.
Would you ever would you rather look like you have money? Would you ever have money? I don't have no shit, bro. Obviously, and that's that's the problem with Instagram right now So we're guys maybe it's a hell of a way to start a Monday. Yeah, all right guys. We'll see you tomorrow on CT. I don't forget don't be a hoe
Show the show.
Was this transcript helpful?
Recent Episodes
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what’s the best way to learn how to have direct conversations at work to be effective, how to reignite your personal passion when you feel you have spent too much time at your job, and how to reshape the culture at your business when it feels like there’s nothing you can do about it.
February 03, 2025
834. Andy & DJ CTI: RFK Jr. Confirmation Hearing, Karoline Leavitt Vows To Hold Media Accountable & Tiffany Henyard Jumps Into Chaotic Brawl

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Andy & DJ discuss RFK Jr.'s confirmation hearing, press secretary Karoline Leavitt's pledge to call out media lies, and Tiffany Henyard getting involved in a brawl with an activist.
January 30, 2025
833. Andy & DJ CTI: Tech Stocks Lose $1T Over DeepSeek, Migrant Deportations & DEI Here To Stay?

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Discussion on tech stocks losing over $1 trillion due to Chinese AI startup DeepSeek, Colombian president's daughter threatening U.S. President Trump regarding deportation, and companies reducing their DEI initiatives.
January 29, 2025
831. Andy & DJ CTI: Trump Sits Down With Hannity, ICE Arrests Illegal Migrants & Agency Caught Deploying Sneaky Tactics

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Andy & DJ discuss President Trump's optimistic statement about solvability of U.S. issues, ICE arresting illegal migrants, including a Haitian gang member, and a government agency employing covert tactics to work around Trump's anti-woke purge.
January 24, 2025

Ask this episodeAI Anything

Hi! You're chatting with REAL AF with Andy Frisella AI.
I can answer your questions from this episode and play episode clips relevant to your question.
You can ask a direct question or get started with below questions -
What was the main topic of the podcast episode?
Summarise the key points discussed in the episode?
Were there any notable quotes or insights from the speakers?
Which popular books were mentioned in this episode?
Were there any points particularly controversial or thought-provoking discussed in the episode?
Were any current events or trending topics addressed in the episode?
Sign In to save message history