#78 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast w/ Tommy Bowe

Hi, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. Hey, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Amanda. No. What? No. No. I wasn't done. You can't mess up what Amanda does. I'm sorry. I was not like it was a good pocket. And this is our guest, Tommy Bow. Well, she didn't say special guests. She said that. She said that every guest we've ever had, including you. I'm not special. I'm Tommy. I'm not special.

Yay, no one's special. And that way, everyone's special. That's right. Anyways, it's amazing. Anyways. My intro was ruined and I'm totally fine with that. Wanna take it back? No. You sure? Yeah. Okay. Can't make magic twice. Okay. Tommy, how's it going?

It's going. We've had a great day today. We've done a lot of silly stuff. My brain is done writing, directing, and social today. So now we're using the last piece of the quarters of my brain. Yeah, I feel like you can, I could look back and tell when we film Smosh Mounds in the morning or in the afternoon. Yeah. Like after we've filmed sketches or like pit video. Yeah, morning I look fresh like a baby and then in the afternoon it's this. You're a snow white hag with the apple.

Thank you so much for recognizing and knowing me. Oh man, just one of those like things where like if you turn it certain angles and change it. Oh my god, I love those things. You know, like horror, like people have like horror parties. Do you want Halloween parties? Yeah. Where it's like a little girl. It's like a little kid. She's like this and then it goes into yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Fun. You're like the haunted mansion when the

Yeah, when the photos change at all. Yeah, that's awesome, guys. Yeah, that's so awesome. Thank you. Hey, you guys ever stare at those posters that you crossed your eyes a little bit? You can see like a dolphin. Yes, I've never never worked. I don't think those are out anymore. I think that was in the 80s. No, they're out. I think they're out. I think they've been released. They destroyed all of those. It's lost media. Yeah, it's gone. Wow, government.

Tommy, you have a show that's coming out. It's out like right now, right? Yeah, if everything is goring according to plan, my first episode of season two of my serving C word show is out with Amanda. Yay. I'm episode one. You are episode one. I knew that when we filmed.

Oh my god, it was so much fun. I just got back from Greece, so I'm very tan, and I am wishing I was that tan again. And you and I were just like, huh, duh, connected as usual. Yeah, and it was the very first thing in the morning, so it was like 7.30 in the morning. It was so nice. Did you record all the episodes in one day? I record all the season. Every season I do all the episodes in one day, because it's cheaper, because you can just be like, here's the day rate for the building. Yes. And it's like bye-bye. You did it. Wow. Yeah, that's great.

And you have some really good guests. We got Amanda. We got Vic Michaelis from Dropout. We got Sid and Olivia who that episode is cuckoo bananas. And that one is the second episode that will come out. We got Chance and we got my friend Haley Jordan from The Fitness Marshall who also has her own YouTube channel which is very successful. She's very sweet.

Okay. So cool. Damn. So cool. Yeah. My episode. Your episode is really good. And will it be another entire year until another season comes out? Most likely. Who cares? Who cares? It takes a lot of work here editing it.

You've been working on this for months. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, I come up with the graphics, the sound effects, the pacing of the edit, you know, everything that I know how to do, I do. And then, you know, I get other people to help me with like, how do I color this? Things like that. It's such an awesome show. Yeah, thanks. And also something I was talking about before.

Right before we started recording, I was seeing things saying that TikTok might last longer. What are you saying? They were saying that there's possible legislation that'll extend it another 270 days. By the time this airs, maybe it's banned. That's true. Because it's supposed to be banned for 19th. 16th, I heard.

Oh, no, 19. 19. But that'd be another nine months. That's huge for you, because you're in charge of coming up with all of our TikTok ideas. Does that excite you? Yeah, if TikTok gets banned, they put me back underground.

They bury you alive. And I saw your little home underground. And I was like, how did he fit? And they were like, we don't care. It's kind of like you got to like crack my legs around backwards until I'm like a circle. Yeah. They were using his legs for the first time all year. And you've done well. I've done well. Yeah. Now that you've perfected it, you're going back in.

Going back in, going all the way back in. Yeah. So fun. Yeah. Under our studio, we found an old abandoned mine shaft and you had actually been buried down there from a hundred years ago. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm so glad you guys found me. Thanks so much. I knew you guys found me. Hey, we dug you up and we're like, Hey, we need someone to film our TikToks. You know how to edit and do tiktoks and be a cast member.

Can you edit and you're like, I can learn? I can learn. You fanned me. You fanned me. So that's Tommy. This is our special guest. And today we're going to do a little fun T.N.T.L. as we always, we don't always do on the podcast, actually. Oh yeah, you always do. We don't. We've probably done under 10 times, right? We've done three or four. Five. We've done five. And now this is the sixth one.

Wow. Pretty cool. Pretty loose. Like before we were getting a little way too creative, we're having like a bowl or you pick things and impressions and now we're just free balling it. That's good. They've gotten wackier and wackier. But it's going to be a chill time. I mean, look,

As we know, we're having a regular conversation. It's not about just trying to make each other laugh. Let's also just continue to hang out. But it matters if you laugh. It does matter. It does matter. You lose a point. And at the end, whoever's laughed the least amount of times is just the winner. We lose a point? How many points do we start? No, he's not right. You're trying to laugh the least amount of times. So if you laugh, you get

up, you get like a tick, like a point. It's like golf. You don't want to get by it. Yes, exactly. Whoever loses.

You know, that's really bad for them. It's really bad. It's a bad look. Well, I'll be the Tiger Woods of this podcast. Oh, which part of Tiger? Which year for Tiger? What year for Tiger? The successful at golf park. Good. OK, that's awesome. Yeah, let's yeah, let's stick with that. So if you win, you get a gift card. I get a gift card. What will you buy?

A quick smell. Yeah, $20. It could buy you that. Yeah, probably. I'm going to use my mouth. I want to taste it, too. I want to get the full experience. 20 bucks, I think you can. Do you ever do that? Do you know about that? No. If you want to smell something better, you use your mouth as well. That's why cats go. One day, smell stuff is because they're trying to smell it better. What? There you go. I'm not doing that. I'm not going to get my food at a restaurant. Oh, what is this one?

No, it works. You will get a better smell. You don't believe me. Amanda, you gotta wake up and smell the roses like this. I'm like, do I have my cologne on? Hold on. Yep, I do.

I'm good. Honestly, I'm good. I like your new set, by the way. Thank you. My God, thank you so much. A long time listener. But I do have a question. What is this about the pool? It's when you die. That's what I thought it was, but I had no idea. Any other questions? Yeah, I've got it. Any more critique? I'm a locked in.

Got the $2 bill from Hank Green. Yep. Got Mexico City. Yes. Harambe. We got offline. Offline. Got the Five Nights at Freddy's stuff. Yeah, what's that down there? That's me as Jack Sparrow from Saran. That's heartbreaking. I didn't ask for something from there. No, cereal, because I said adults can eat cereal and Amanda disagrees. No, yeah, I made that clip. We did something with that. Yeah, here's a deal. Did I buy myself a box of Quaker oatmeal squares?

Over the holidays? Wow, I did. As a Christmas gift? Yeah, I did. You all unropper presents and cereal. And guess what happens? I turned into a fucking monster. I ate bowls and bowls and bowls until I got sick. So, we won't be doing that again.

Oatmeal has changed my life, so I'm with you. Oatmeal's incredible. Yeah, I was not. Are you saying Oatmeal Squares? Yeah, I'm saying Oatmeal Squares. She likes to have Oatmeal as a cereal. Have you had Quaker Oatmeal Squares? That's insane. I know it is. Have you had Quaker Oatmeal Squares? I don't think so. Oh, I'm sure they're all people and young people like me. Listen, I love a raisin bran, so... I will say I love a raisin bran. I love a raisin bran. Okay, now you're living a little.

That's the first cereal that's actually like kind of pop. Every other cereal you've named. Listen, I wasn't allowed. Sugar. You're an adult now. You can do whatever you want. No, I can't. Mommy's still watching me. Mommy knows my moves. Seriously, no, I cannot. Okay. My body has trained itself to be like, that is bad. You are lazy. I understand. Your mom just dropped then.

There is a debate in the bo household that to this day is unsolved. It's a mystery that is unsolved. Oh my gosh. Some people might call it a personal Mandela effect. So in my childhood, I had Reese's Puffs. Yeah.

and I was a loud sugary cereal on Wednesdays. That's what I remember. Wednesdays. I was allowed to have sugary cereal. Otherwise, my mom would not let me have them. And so one day, like, I don't know, probably like 10 years ago at this point, I was just like, yeah, remember, you got me those Reese Puffs and I'd have them like on Wednesdays when I was allowed and she was like, I would never like that. She was like, yeah. No, she was like, I would not. And I was like, but we did that. She was like, no.

There's no way that I would let you do that. Did your father let you do that? We all, where they didn't, they're undivorced. So it was, it would have all been monitored at the same. Oh, so she doesn't remember so. You sang undivorced instead of still married as crazy. Yes, crazy. That's the thing. They're like on their way one day. Undivorced. So you made it up.

So that's, I'm going to assume I made it up because I was a younger person, so like, my memory's faulty. No, I unfortunately think that's very much a boomer thing. Cause I feel like everyone has an experience where it's like, yeah, this thing that happened to me as a kid, my parents go, I don't remember. No, no didn't. I think our parents take, I don't remember as that never happened. Yeah, right. Fortunately. 100% they do. That age, it makes sense. But then it had to have happened cause they bought the cereal for you.

Well, that's what I remember. It's not like we still have remnants of the cereal. If you can find a blouse, you can find a Reese's mom behind the fridge. Look, look! Reese's Puffs is too much. It's too much. It's a lot.

I'm not going to spend all the other kids have the delicious frickin' cereal. What's the delicious cereal in your mind? Oh, Lucky Charms. Any like big like sugar township. That stuff gets soggy in a millisecond. You better eat that whole bowl before it's soggy. But has used as an adult's ever got a box of Lucky Charms?

Pop that open and plucked out all of the marshmallows and threw the rest away. No. No, I haven't. Because I'm not so caught in. I have not lived. No, and I will make the claim. I think Lucky Charms is perfectly balanced.

I don't want all the marshmallows. Get out of this. I think the other stuff makes the marshmallows taste good. You need the mixture of textures. I think that whole cereal is bogus. Why do I want sick little marshmallows, sick little marshmallows and weird little Cheerio type snacks in there. And also they're making funnel leprechauns. You were making fun of leprechauns? They're not making fun of leprechauns. What's the mascot?

A leprechaun. Lucky. Lucky leprechaun. Let us know in the comments if you are offended by leprechauns. Wait, this actually brings up something. I was talking to my friend, did you guys, and this is what's fucked up, and now I'm a bad person. Do you guys ever make leprechaun traps? You can't get mad at us reading lucky charms, and then say, yeah, I tried to kill them as a kid. Did you guys ever go hunt for them? No, I didn't kill them.

You trap them. You just trap them and keep them in your basement. They made me do it in school. Do you tag them? So you trap them. And they tag them or lease them? And you kind of leave gold and stuff. You leave gold. No, you're getting this wrong. Hear me out. Yes, you leave gold.

and they come in and you trap them and then you go, I caught a leprechaun and then you're supposed to release it in the wood, forest, woods. And did this ever happen to you? I never actually caught one because I felt bad about it. Did you know anyone who caught one? I think my sister did. Yeah. I don't know where she's been ever since. You caught an leprechaun. I haven't seen her since 1998. All the leprechaun into the woods. No, seriously. She let that leprechaun go and she has not returned home.

The leprechaun was six foot one. Yeah. It was actually just some guy. Some guy. That was so scary. That was caught with a bear trap. No one made a leprechaun trap. What does the leprechaun trap look like? You know those things in school where they make you like out of a shoebox and you put it in there? No. Did you guys have creative learning in your shoes? Yes, we had a beautiful creative childhood, but not this. Okay, did you ever do shoebox, leprechaun catching?

I went to school with a lot of Irish people. We're messed up people. And that's fine. Listen, it's fine. I never caught a leprechaun. It was school. I said, I don't want to do this. They said, you must. And I said, it's wrong. And they said, do it. Amanda, so far on this podcast, everything you go. So I had a normal childhood. We did this thing. And it's always something that all of us are like, what?

I do think the things you did in childhood was the same as everyone else. That's fair. And then when you bring it, every time I bring it up here, I'm always like, oh no, what happened to me? Yeah. You might have lived in Narnia your whole life and then should appear. That might explain not Narnia. Didn't we talk about Narnia? Didn't we talk about the people of sex in Narnia? Didn't we talk about this? We did. Hey, OK. Don't worry about it. We're 15 minutes in. Let's just start.

The, the, let's start the competition and continue this conversation and continue this conversation. All right. We're starting it now. Okay. And now, but we can continue with whatever we're talking about, but now if you laugh, it counts. All right. All right. I'm serious. Okay. So wait, you may, you might have lived in Narnia. Yeah, but I never had a wardrobe.

You may have lived in Narnie. Well, I was saying that's what Shane is saying. And she's not correct. Because I'd never catch leprechauns. I lived in Harambe. Yeah. Well, how do you feel about goats bottoms of goats with the top of a man? How do you feel about that? How do you feel about it? Pretty hot. How do you feel about hooves? Know what I'm saying? OK, you know what they say about big hooves.

Thank you. Are you going to finish? Okay. Great. Um, this actually reminds me of something. So I saw a post recently, um, some of our listeners, they were getting recommended on, on Spotify. It was saying, Oh, listeners of Smoshmouth also listened to this. And it was the audio book version of a, of a book that I have heard of called morning glory milking farm. Uh, and it's a popular book.

It's a, and I'm not kidding. I am not happy about where this might be. Are you aware of this book? No, no. But I'd love for you to explain it. Morning, morning milking. Morning, glory milking farm. It is a romance novel.

Oh, hey. And look, I heard about it. I've looked it up on book talk. You've heard about it. You've listened to all of it. I have not listened to it. I might read it. I'm not. I don't judge. I thought it was an audiobook. It is also an audiobook. Well, you listen to read. Oh, I'll probably read. OK. Why? You don't want to hear. So I can narrate myself in my head like you get turned on by your own voice. No, I'm saying. So I can like read it at my own page. I just don't want to read it. Oh, he wants to read it fast. Do audiobooks make sound effects too? Do they set the scene?

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, possibly. Possibly. Gotcha. Wait, wait, wait, wait. There you go. Wait. One for Amanda. That sucks for you. I know books don't do that. Don't think of like, oh, what?

No, that's video games. Yeah, that's video games you're thinking of. Anyways. Also about this book. So from what I've heard about this book, it takes place in a, it's got some sort of fantasy world. It's called milking maids. Morning glory milking farm. Mommy milking maid. Morning milking.

I got it. I'll pull up the cover of this. This is real. This is not you pulling your ass. You guys think I'm pulling your leg. Don't pull our leg. Don't pull our leg out of your ass. Don't pull our leg. I'll show you the cover. This book has like tens of thousands of. Wait, is this?

That's incredible. Let me find the, if you're listening to this audio only, we've got a big bull man with a buff body and a very small woman leaning into him. But she's, she's got a loose gown on it. She's down over her shoulders, which always means wild and her hair is free. Free. Yeah. How do you say egg? Egg. Okay.

What do you mean? How do you say egg? Egg? Okay. I've heard that I say it weird. You say leg weird. Leg, like leg, like I'm Canadian. Leg. Let me try to find. I think this is the summary right here. Okay. Violet needs a job to help her pay her bills until she can find work in her chosen profession. When she sees a job posting at the Morning Glory Farm, she decides to take a chance on it as it pays well, even if she's hesitant about the actual work. And that work entails milking minotaurs, AKA giving.

Cut that last one, I want this one. Okay, here it is. Here it is. Violet is a typical down-on-our-luck millennial, mid-20s, over-educated and drowning in debt, on the verge of moving into her parents' basement, when a lifeline appears in the form of a very unconventional job in neighboring Cambric Creek. She has no choice but to grab at it with both hands.

Woah! Morning Glory Milking Farm offers full-time hours, full benefits, and generous pay with no experience needed. Full-time! There's only one catch. The clientele is Grade A certified prime beef with a manly, meaty endowments to match. Milking Minotaurs isn't something Violet ever considered as a career option, but she's determined to turn the opportunity into a reversal of fortune. And then it keeps going, but that's the... Can I see the picture?

There's... Did they draw that hug? Did they draw that hug? Did they draw that hug? Did they draw that hug? Did they draw that hug? You can always take a picture. No, that's the cover. There's no, there's no hug on the cover. Oh, you're drooling Amanda, please. Oh, I didn't suck it back in. Oh. But that author apparently told me, writes romance about monsoon.

Fuck outta. Well, there you go. It's crazy how millennial she is and also she's like, milking it. She's really like about to fall apart here. Seven thousand eight hundred thirteen reviews. Yeah. Yeah, look at this. Look at her millennial. Oh, she's so millennial. So many people think.

Millennials are is that we're just totally in debt and we have to move into our parents and we have to milk Minitars well a monster bait romance. Yeah, what is a monster bait put put it together? Master bait. Yes

Put it together. Holy crap. Holy crap. This is a wild world. Oh, this one's from the writers from Cleveland, Ohio. That's so Ohio. That's so high. That's a Gen Z term. Wow, look at you. There you go. Yeah, they really pulled it together. She's always preferred beasts to boys. That's the author. This is the author. That's unknown darkness and shadow to the Chad next door. She lives in a crumbling old Victorian with a scaredy cat.

Deshawned. Nope, one more time. Deshawned. Okay. Whatever that dog is. Where she writes non-traditional romances featuring beastly boys with equal parts, heart, and heat, and is waiting and nook. That's gotta be awesome. Imagine people being like, what do you do for a living? It's like, she's waiting for a homework channel to get with the program and start a paranormal lover series. Honestly, it would probably do really well. That would do really well.

There's a lot of Minotaur books. Can we? Look at this, a soul to keep.

Oh, wow. And all of the women are millennial. Wow. OK, there's my Minotaur husband. There you go. We got a he looks like he just got done doing some construction work. He's got a very he's well and down. He's well and down. Oh, has he any on the sauna? I think he's no, there's a construction site, but that's a building. Oh, he's a building. He has to work. He's building. He has to work. Strong as an arching.

Here we go, the dragons bride. Ooh, they're chained together. Oh boy. That's cool. Oh, a dragon. A dragon, okay. Ooh, a soul to heal. That's nice. It's like a demon. Like soul. They have souls on the bottom of their feet. Demon feels a little more like. Demon's more fine stream. Minotaur is where you like. Minotaur is, that's a lot. Okay, we got a spider guy with this woman, Tiffany Roberts, and it's called

Can you pronounce that for me? Fin-snared. Fin-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-

Notar. He's a... And Minnetars. Dudes just don't read. That's true. I can confirm that. You read all the time. Most dudes don't read, though. I'm a dude that doesn't read. Most dudes? You wouldn't get on that Minnetar milking farm? No. I don't think I'd like it. Stoned by that. Yeah. There's so many things that are happening there.

Thanks for bringing that up. Why did you bring it up? Because that's what's being recommended after I was trying to cause I saw someone say like, I'm sorry, a lot of our listeners, it was like, Oh, you might also listeners are also enjoying this. So some of our listeners are enjoying that. What? Yeah, because they're not getting that data out of nowhere. And so you're judging us for liking Lucky Charms.

Think about that. Think about that. Listen, I'm not against people wanting to see a minotaur get milked. That's fine. Get it. Awesome. Why not? Hey. Sure. You know, I did not prep much for this try not to laugh adventure, but I, in the process of thinking of things and looking through things, I did find a gift that I left myself. Oh, God.

Oh my god. I went through my voice memos and I found one that was just labeled like new memo 144 or something. And it is... Now I don't black out. I don't black out. I don't know if I was very stoned or what, but I don't remember making this. I don't remember the setting in which I would have made this. However,

There is a voice memo of a very non sober Tommy talking to Tommy. And so I'd love to share that and see if you can make it through. How confident are you that this is going to make us laugh? It might not. It made me laugh a lot, but I'm me. OK. OK. Got it.

Today, I will be telling you about the history of the word gay. Okay. So gay has been in the English language for a very, very long time. Okay. It's changed meanings multiple times. So first,

The word gay, shut up in English in the 12th century from the old French word gay. Gay, which means full of joy and worth. Now you're thinking, Tommy, what is worth? Well, mirth is amusement, especially as I was supposed to have laughter. And they also, gay, we're back to gay. And we're back to gay. And they also come from the old German word gay, which means impulsive. Oh, well.

still tracks for centuries. Gay was used to mean Joyful, Carefree, Bright and Showy. The showy part stuck for sure. For example, the 1890s are called the Gay 90s. Gay 90s over here.

That's it. I got to the 1890s and stopped the memo. I love this version of Tommy so much, because he's just like, yes, so anyways, that's pretty fun. I love this version of Tommy. He's so like, just like, yeah, anyways, so can you believe that?

Tommy got high and turned into Truman Capote for a second. I did. I did. Wow. That is really fun. Yeah, that was really fun. A beautiful gift. I highly recommend doing that to yourself if you ever feel really goofy. That's the right thing to do as opposed to calling someone or texting someone when you're not sober. You should just leave a voice memo for yourself. That's really fun. I love voice memos.

It reminds me something I wanted to talk about is I didn't hop on this train, but this was a big thing. You didn't have a ticket? What? So there's a big thing for the past couple months is I first started seeing it from Spencer, but I feel like everyone was on it is you guys were all doing cameo. Oh, yes. And I kept getting served on TikTok. You guys as cameos. That's right. And it was awesome. I don't like that. I saw one of yours.

Man, I like that. It was great. I do like it. Everyone's was great. Spencer's were top notch because, I mean, it's just the most Spencer thing. It's like him, like leaning back, just like chilling. He just kind of starts ranting too. He's just kind of having a good time. But I got served a couple of yours. They were great. I saw a couple of chances. I was like, man, everyone's doing this. This is really fun. It's a lot of fun. I didn't tell you guys. I actually was doing it.

I was doing it and I... Me doing it. I was just... Mine didn't get served to anyone. That kind of bummed me out, but I was really... I was going hard. Did anyone request... People were requesting them. So I've got a couple that I have.

if you guys want to see. Yep. Do you guys want to see some of these? Oh, yeah. For those at home just listening, you're going to be able to get the vibe. I made sure when I was doing these cameos that I'm like, OK, I want to make sure that when I play them on this podcast that anyone that anyone could could listen to this and get it because I, you know, that's how I roll. All right, here's here's one that I got. This is one of the first ones. I was like, OK, like, you know, but I understood the vibe. Mackenzie, congratulations on doing so well on that test.

As I should say, impressive, the chosen. Oh my God. It sounds like you're doing great at BYU. Hope you're not soaking too hard and keep on doing your thing. That's, you know, that's what I always am saying. When I'm reading those Reddit stories, you know how it is. All right.

Oh, you got your awful. It was really good. I think that was a really good one. You get a good rating. I actually think no one should pay for that. I got a really good rating. Got a really good rating. I think there's a lot that are like that, but not ours. No, not ours. We deliver. Do you have another? I maybe have others. I'll wait and show later. Okay. Did you get good reviews on that one? Yeah. Yeah, I got great. What review did you get? Good. Really good.

They said, yeah, people, they said it was really good. Mm hmm. Saw that. So come here, not looking at us. Oh, oh, yeah. They said people were like, it's really good. Okay. Yeah. I got, I got 50 cameo points for that one.

And that's what they do is they give out cameo points. Yeah, and then you use that and you go to the store and you can buy different. You can buy cameo merch and filters. That's right. Oh, yeah, that's awesome. That's great Shane. I love that app that you're on for you. Thanks guys. It was a really good cameo. Yeah. Yeah. Amanda. Do you have anything to show the class? I do actually. What's so crazy is

I don't know why people were calling my phone, thinking it was for you or you. Like I kept getting voicemails. Is that right? Yeah. Really? And I was like, call them like, and they did it and that's fine. But Tommy, UPS called me like four million times and then finally they left a voicemail. I was like, okay, great. Leave a voicemail. So I saved it. I'm ready. Yeah. All right. So that you could hear it because I think it's important. Okay.

Hello, Tommy Bo. This message is for Tommy Bo. This is Gail down at the UPS. And just gonna let you know that we've received a very large package. And my driver, we got a driver, Tim. Hey, Tim, Tim, can you turn off that, can you turn off that fax? Thanks. My driver, Tim, over here is, he's having trouble delivering it to your place.

your apartment, uh, because he says the package is too big. Now, um, unfortunately legally where this episode of Smosh Mouth is brought to you by me undies. It's that time of year and love is in the air and there's no better way to spend it than with me undies. This underwear is so comfortable. Uh, it's breathable. It's awesome. Amanda, what do you think about me undies?

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Back to the show. Let's do it. Choir to go through the package to make sure there's no batteries or water or anything that could radiate a necessary amount of heat. So we went through the package and we noticed if extra large supply of Viagra. Now we're having trouble wrapping our brains around it.

You know, because that's a lot of I ever for one guy. And we're just worried about you. We're worried about your health. And we're worried about your partners.

Now, if you can't get your penis up, that's one thing. But if you can't get your penis up and you need a lot of pills, that's another thing, okay? Those are two things that are actual things. And so we're concerned for you, okay? And, uh, Tim. Tim, can you draw the facts? No, just press the off button. Tim's a problem. Press the off button. Okay, so, uh, Tommy Bo, so you're gonna have to drive down here to the UPS and, um,

It's right on 24 o'clock street. And we need you to come and pick up this package, OK? Because we can't deliver it. And also, we're worried for your safety. So you can't get your penis up. That's a tough thing. But you know what? I read this book, and it says it's all mental. All right, Dee, thank you. We'll see you soon. Have a great day.

And wait for a second to review this call. Yeah, hide. Wow. Lickalock. Lickalock. That's a long. That's a long voicemail. Yeah, I was like, damn, Gail. Back up. Gail.

That was her name. Oh, yeah, she must be your local UPS lady. Yeah, she is bad for that Tim guy. Yeah, anyway, so go pick up your package of fire. Yeah, I have to rent to you all first. It's kind of an ordinary. Wow. Big package. No one's I think you're dealing at that point. Yeah, no one's waiting on on me. So I grab those. I grab those anytime.

All right, you guys want to see another cameo. Yeah, I'd love to see another cameo. Yeah, let's show you another cameo. Yeah, let's see. Yeah, let's see. Hey, Steven. Oh. So, Shane, your framing's a bit bad. I can't wear a grown-up diaper and stomp on the camera and say you've been a bad guy. Right. But I can do the next best thing, and I can tell you, hey, you're doing great. So, Angela's not your friend. My favorite pizza place.

So there's that. I hope you're having a good day. It's like an egg going back into the chicken. Yeah, it's just making it sad. That's what I'm always saying when I'm reading those Reddit stories. There it is. Brutal. Oh, he said it. Oh my god, he said it. That's great. Oh, he doesn't want to turn it off. No, he's got to stop recording. He's got to stop recording. Oh, no. It's still going. Oh, my god.

Those make me really sad. Well, you know, I don't I think but it's you know, the point is that it's making someone really happy. I don't know who I Don't know who's happy from those no one's reposing them No, they're happy don't give that to him doesn't deserve it Read its stories Okay, can I say

The graduation video from 2019, where Courtney and a bunch of people threw my graduation, my college graduation, something that got cut from the video is Damien got a bunch of cameos for me. From a bunch of celebrities. From different celebrities. There was Gilbert Gottfried, there was the voice of Solid Snake, and then the best one was Mark McGrath, from Sugar Ray, and it was like that. He goes on forever.

It doesn't stop. It's like three minutes and it could have stopped at 30 seconds. Why? Because Damien was just like, hey, this is Shane. He loves in and out and all the, like he threw out a couple of inside jokes. And it comes to a point like you think it's over. He's like, awesome man. Congrats on graduating.

Yeah, in and out. Dude, I love in and out. It's so awesome. That's like my favorite restaurant in LA. I love to go there, get like, I think I get like the numbers. He just kept going and you're like, oh my God, he's not stopping. It was awesome. I feel like there are celebrities on, because before I got on Cameo, I looked at like a lot of people and there are celebrities on Cameo that they have the cameras set up. They're sitting in a weird place. There's so much head room and they're like,

Hi, Amy. It's your birthday and you're like, oh no. No, no, no, no. Those are the ones you want. Those are the ones you want. Those are the weird, those and ours. Yeah, ours are, mine really, mine are really curated. Mine are like, I try, I mean, I get a lot of, I get a lot of ask me advice, you know, or like, give me advice stuff. And I try and make it like a little FaceTime, like a little message from me.

Sometimes mine are like, be Sarah Christ and yell at me and tell me that I got out of bed. And I'm like. And when you do that, it's like, because I've been asked to do stuff and I'm like, I don't have the costume or wig at my home. So I can't like. No, I'll do the voice. And then I'll be like, your piece of shit got out of bed. I've had to do, wait, I've also had to do an alarm, a morning alarm. It was great. Oh yeah, that's pretty awesome. I saw that one. That's when I got served.

Whoa, are you doing a morning alarm for someone? I love that. Do they ever ask you to have like I'll put you know how I want you and Angela to be in the video? Oh, yes, and I always tell them that that's I say that that's illegal I don't know if it's illegal, but no if you're in the if you're paying not available, right? And they should make it if it's a money thing, you know, it's like yeah, right? I can't give them a day rate for being in my game. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, but your cameos are

Thanks. This next one was probably my favorite. Oh, we got another. This one's probably this one's really good. I thought we were. I was actually ending it. I thought this one was really good. You got to go, Jake. Your mom says you got to go. You got to get out. It's time to go, Jake. God. It's time to go. Are you in a toilet? Yep.

I've never seen you look sicker. I know you, you haven't looked good in a single one of your cameras. Whoa! And that's, and that's like, that's not what people want. They want to see you at your hottest. Hottest, sexiest. How did I know that you were on a toilet? You called it, you called it out right before I flushed the toilet. And that was awesome. It was, it was the white lighting, the one or two. What are you, oh, shame? Was it shit? It's cameo, it's not real.

Oh, it's not real. Okay, first of all, all my cameos are very authentic. All my cameos are very real. If I'm gonna do it on the toilet, I'm gonna do it for real. That's right. Are you joking?

Even Mark McGrath, he would take a shit on it and he would be there. You would have actually taken a shit if I paid him for it. He still is on Cameo full on. He sets up a stuff in the bathroom. And you know? What's his rate? I don't know. Do you want another? I've had four separate people in my life over the last four or five years. What is this about to be? Try and get an Abby Lee Miller cameo for me. And her cameo, $100.

It's pricey. It's pricey. But that is doable. But what are you gonna get? Like if four friends went in together. Right. Anyway, she's always rejected. I think she knows me. That's my fun thing that I give myself. That's delusional. Is that she knows who I am? She knows who you are. What if I got one for me but then it was just like for you?

That would be like I told her it's for Amanda and you weren't even involved. And then you had her and I play it to you and we just like bleed out Amanda. Well, that's really fun Amanda. I'd really like that. Do you think your friends are requested just to insane of stuff from her?

Yeah, I know Kiana once asked for one, and there was a lot of innuendo to when my birthday is the day of my birthday. There's a lot of sly little things. Yes, there was a lot of little sly things. Anyway, I'd like to, I know every point during the podcast, your guest has to sing the song that they wrote.

Oh, sure. I'm going to go ahead and do that. That's awesome. We're so glad for that. Thank you. You're so glad for it. I'm glad for it. Out of 10, how glad? Five and a half. It's not that glad. Thank you, Shane. I'm going to. Oh, thank you. Can I get a beat? Can I get a beat? Oh, boom.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. There's a real cool guy that I think you should know. He's the, whoa, sorry. I said it wrong. There's a real cool guy that I think you should meet. He's the guardian of all our streets. Trust in him and you'll be safe. Cause this guy is super great.

82, red and white and blue. He's looking after me and you. His middle name is Robinette. And he was once the president, Joe Biden. I miss you, Joe Biden.

Keep beatboxing. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Boom! I miss you. Joe Biden. What is happening? What happened? I thought it was going to be a Smosh Mouth song, and then it became that. No. No. Wait. Yes? I'm now open for questions. OK. I'll take questions on that. OK. OK. Why did Joe Biden become a horse? He didn't answer me in the dream, so I have no answers. Is this a real dream?

Excuse me? Is this a real dream that you had? Did you make that up? In the same way that magicians don't reveal their magic tricks, I'm not going to reveal whether it was a real dream or not. Are dreams real? That's the question we should be asking. Oh, shit. They are. What was your question, Jake? When did you make that?

When did that... When did you make that song? Last night. Last night. This is the last night kind of thing. Yeah. Last night. Yeah, I get that. I get that. And I get that. And I get that. And I get that. And I get that. I just... And did you like out of 10? Can you tell me how much you liked it? I actually really liked it. I actually thought that was really good. I mean, I didn't appreciate getting yelled at, but I did like the song. Okay. I would say eight out of 10.

Okay, I'll take that. And if I were to rate Shane's cameos, I would say his were like a three out of 10. I'd say one or two out of 10. One other thing I'd like to share is what I call the Mr. pervert beta test. This is when I was trying out different voices for him. I remember. This is awesome. I remember different voices. I need you out of my coffee shop right now.

You just fuck. Where were you? I don't know. I don't know when that was. That is not the voice I ended up using. No, I would say. No, what was Mr. Pervert again? What? What? No, I mean, what was his voice again? I know who Mr. Pervert was. Come on, guys. It was just like this, like delightfully me. Didn't we come up with one that was different?

Oh, I did, but in rehearsals, I used a different voice. There were a lot. And at the end, I was like, I'll just gonna do my voice. But I like that one. This is really good. That one's good. It was very fun. Yeah. In the long run. Amanda, you've got your phone out. Yeah, what do you, what bullshit you got to do? I got another voicemail. Okay. And this one is for Shane, and I actually was quite like, I don't want this on my phone, but I saved it because it seems important. Okay. Okay.

Hello, this is Hustler's Hollywood calling for Shane. Top. We're calling to let you know.

that your package of flesh, light, riley, red, you two. You get too vibrating on hot jam dick, clonal, willy, dino, molding kit, rose, slap, slap, yum, liquid, uh-oh, tap, strapped up, hark, die.

They put all the keywords in there. Now at Hustler's Hollywood, please pick up your order no later than next week. And since you are a special customer who orders frequently, basically all the time.

We have added in Juju set, king-clap, electro-erotic, power, tripper, magic wand, slap, slap, strawberry, lick'em-off, stickers. Whoa! So mate, thank you so much. So mate. Shane, talk. Shane, talk.

I did not enjoy getting that voicemail. I think it was harsh. It was something you need to pick up. And what's crazy is I looked up all those things, real names for things at Hustler's Hollywood. That can't be true. That can't be. Oh, I'm dead serious. Slap, slap. That seems like something private that you have with the hustlers. With the employees. Yeah, since you're between me and hustlers. Yeah, since you're a special customer.

So very go pick that stuff up. They know me. Yeah, you better go get that stuff going. Yeah, I need to get that. So yeah, they called me and I was like, whoa, call Shane.

So, why are you getting these phone calls that aren't for you? Well, I often put other people's information down when I'm ordering. Yeah, I think people are. You need to use a DPS. They know we're friends. I use different emails to be discreet. Got it. Yeah. So that nobody can find me. Shane, it's cellmate. But, you know, I have the money to buy those things from the cameos I did. Right. And I got one last one here. I was proud of this one. Okay. I think this one was my best one. Yeah, let's take a peek at this. Yeah, let's take a peek. Let's take a peek.

Jessica your dad says you had a rough game last night and I'm sorry to hear that you know they say you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and are in this case you miss the shots that you did take as well yeah

Oh no. Oh, he's going somewhere now. Oh no, he's trying to turn on a light and he's reaching for it. And it's really bad. We'll make sure that light's working. Oh, that's... That's all bad. Russell! God. It's all bad. Jesus Christ. Dude. Lauren, how did... Wow. Lauren, how to turn off your cameos.

I will say that. Give them a genuine moment. That one is very realistic. Jessica, you love the game. I think my impression of cameos is really good. I think your impression is unbelievable. Jessica.

You're both, you were both in the group chat when I said that someone asked me on cameo to tell their son that the parents were getting divorced, right? Yes. Awesome. Do we have to cut that from this? I don't think so. Okay. I denied the request. It's not my business. Well, you might have, oh, I guess you're not giving specific names. I'm not giving a, I don't know. That's a wild request. Yeah. You know what else is wild? Oh no. This is for Shane. You just call 911.

Oh, we're so sorry to hear about your brother that passed away. He gets five big booms. Oh, dude, he's always so sorry to hear about your brother passed away. He gets five big booms. Five big booms. Boom. Boom. Boom. Ah, I was so sorry to hear that. So they're on cameo.

I don't know how did you get that? I found it online somewhere. I've seen that before. That's viral. That got me. That must be a cameo. That must be. That had to have been. So are they doing any Costco guy videos anymore?

They're doing them all the time. I think they're. I think they're enterprise. They're bringing the Costco. What do you think it's doing to the psyche of that small child? I don't know. I think he's working. He's working. I think every day he wakes up his dad's like, come on, get up. We got to do a cameo. We got to go to Costco. He's like, yeah, I know. I don't want to go. I don't want to play in my games. I need to do not. He's like, let's go. Yeah. Do you agree?

Yeah, do you think, and I haven't been to a Costco in a long time, do they have big posters of all of them all around the Costco's? There's a statue in every single Costco. Like a dystopian novel. Yeah, they're like, they're there, like holding up flags and stuff. Exactly. I don't think so. Like they salute the Risler in the morning. No, I don't think that they're in any posters. I think they're just. I'm just, I'm posing the question. I'm just asking, I don't know. I know, I don't think. Are you in any posters? Yeah.

Yeah, we're out. I'm a corona girl, you know corona girl.

Uh, yeah. A couple liquor stores. Yeah. You'll see me, Bikini. That's right. On the beach. Thepeoplepeople.com warehouse has you on all of the outside of the building. Yeah, they have my stuff. They haven't asked for a quote or anything, but they'll get around to it. They're kind of like keeping me, you know, because they know I'm getting huge, so. And you want.

I met a huge celebrity status. I met my status. I met my status. Yeah. I met my status. You stole people.com. Every fucking day of my life. Can you give us a news update? What's going on today? It's going to reveal the day, but that's fine.

Oh, are we not revealing the day? I don't care. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. There was a time where people here did care, I think. Okay, it's on my top search. Okay. Can you unlock? Oh, boo. This is a, okay. People, people are all over this yet. People are people. People and people. Okay. Justin Baldoni. Who is that?

This is this is this is this is this is this ends ends I don't know a ton about this. I keep hearing it ends with us movie the drama between Blake Lively and oh, this is that still happening. Oh, I thought it ended them

No, Justin Baldoni is demanding Disney hold onto documents to support his claims. Ryan Reynolds used nice pool to bully him. So now he's saying, you remember Deadpool? Did you watch the newest Deadpool with Wolverine? I don't like Ryan Reynolds. OK, and that's OK.

I know. And that's okay, people don't ever let people.com hear that, but that's okay. This, so Ryan Reynolds plays Deadpool, the guy who's like, hey. Oh, I'm aware. And then he played this character called Nice Pool, who's like super nice and everything's cool and he looks like this. And Justin Baldoni is claiming that he did an impression of him and he's bullying him. Oh, that's awesome. Okay. I tell you my favorite joke I've ever made about Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. He's like if Chris Pratt was a different guy.

I like that. That one's actually really, really good. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It's another guy. It's like buff witty guy. Yeah. If we find a guy who's buff and also can tell a little humor in there, then we're just going to put him in every movie that ever comes out. That's just reality. I'm not even joking. Yeah. No, you're right. I didn't want to draw the parallels to you. All right. I'm not good looking enough.

No. What's going on over here? I don't know. Okay. Back to people that come. No more real talk. Okay, guys. Margaret Qualley's face was so effed up from the substance prosthetics that it took one year for her skin to recover. Whoa. Whoa. It was really the substance.

Have you seen the substance? No. Loser. Have you seen the substance? Yeah. I'm a loser. I'm afraid. I don't like that movie. I don't pressure anyone to watch it because it is insane, but it is so good. Really? Oh, I saw Nora in D-box. Sorry.

We saw Anora in D-Box. What's that? You know where it like shifts you around? No, you didn't. It was awesome. There would be absolutely no reason. We thought it had a joke. It took a second if you didn't get it. I don't know. It was D-Box. I don't know.

I have never. We don't call it that. We call it motion ride. We don't call it motion ride. We don't call it motion ride three. I don't call it D box. And then okay, Miss saying that. Oh, real squares. There would be no reason to watch a Nora and D box. That's so funny. Okay. Real talk. Real talk over Chris. Real talk over Christmas. I saw Mufasa in D box with some of my family.

Why? Someone's family wanted to see it. If you're not watching in D-box, God bless you. And so, I'm sitting there in the theater watching Mufasa and the entire time, it's bouncing you around. And the entire time, what would be the funniest movies to see this? And ever since, that's all I think about. That's a really good thing.

Anora is crazy. Did you see Anora? Anora is crazy. I love Anora so much. Anora was crazy. I saw it twice. I saw it once with friends, and then once with Garde. I was like, you must see this. The way the Armenian brothers? It's a great movie. For those watching, it's an incredible movie. It's intense. It's intense. As that director makes intense movies. Yeah, it's very intense. Every single thing he touches, it feels like it's real people. There's something about the acting of the writing. Also the guy who's shooting it too. Oh, I mean, it's the whole team, of course. Unbelievable.

The Armenian brothers were makes that indeed box would have been hilarious. That's it was a very good joke. Thank you. I really that was you've been glued to people.com ever since I Yeah, you just you are hooked. Okay. What's cool about people at comm is they have a real people section. Y'all. Oh the rest is like us. Y'all the rest is fake. Okay. No, the rest is celebrities. We can't touch them. The rest is for us peasants.

Yes, exactly. The rest are celebrities. We are not like them. We will never be like them. We're like real people. Just like this story. Uncle refuses to attend. Be best man in Nisa's wedding because she wants him to enter with his ex-wife who cheated on him. Big story. Do you guys get that? This is just some family's drama that they've made into an article. Of course. That's what's cool about people.com. Cool. Rebecca Black on the crushing feeling of being teased by celebs after Friday music video.

Well, she's a celebrity. And Lady Gaga's kind words. Lady Gaga's a celebrity. I mean, Rebecca Black's killing you. I'm jumping around, guys. Jumping around here. What's your favorite day of the week? What? That's really tough. Yeah. Friday or Saturday? Every day of the week? Friday. Saturday. Saturday is solid. Sunday is awesome, but Sunday doesn't... The night... Sunday night can kind of be a bummer. Saturday is great because you have all of it.

My favorite is Friday. Friday is really nice. Because you start the day doing the thing you did all week. And you leave. You've got two days ahead of you. You know what? Friday is probably there's a good case for it because you feel accomplished by the end of the day. And you feel relief at the end of the day. No! What if you ate it?

I just ripped the phone out of Amanda's hand. Fine. I'm totally done. Are you? Katie Holmes keeps buttoning up. She is not done. And now we're convinced we need one this winter. How much time do you spend on people.com a week? You read everything, right? None of your business. Amanda, you read all of it every day, right? Yeah. All of it every day. And then I read BBC as well. I'm also an adult. OK. And I read the news. And then I read my horoscope. Woo.

And your horoscopes like Lady Gaga found walking down the street. And my horoscopes like rest girl rest. Put that phone down. But the phone down and the rest. Stop reading people. What if your horoscope said stop reading people.com. Would you listen? The stars never lie. I might.

But that's astrology doesn't do that kind of stuff. It doesn't stop you from loving your things. What if faster not someday get out all the way out there? And the stars are like, we've been fucking with you this whole time. Like all those articles we wrote. All that shit we were saying to you guys. That's some guy named Joe. And he's just a piece of shit. I was joking. I wasn't actually doing that ever. He's just flicking on a light switch over there. Click, click, click. Wow.

I hate astrology, but I love it at the same time. What's your sign? My sign, I'm Virgo. Oh, I'm a Virgo too. See, that's the thing. Virgo's hate astrology. Virgo's hate astrology. That would be very Virgo. You rarely meet Virgos who like astrology. That's my case. I mean, I'm like, I'm such a Virgo because people who are like, Virgos love lists. I'm like, fuck you, no, we don't. Virgos are always right.

I mean, no, what's right. This is very Virgo behavior. And as an Aquarius, I will compartmentalize this behavior and then journal about it later and then try really hard to just let it be. But I will, I will help you. What's the birthday season we're in right now? Birthday season. Capricorn? Yes. Is a Capricorn trait being annoying? I heard wet blanket.

Interesting. I've only had a lot of experience. But I like Capricorns. OK. Oh, do you find them annoying? Some of them. It's probably a Capricorn in here. I don't know. Maybe. So are there signs that you don't like? Like if someone's like, oh, this is my birthday and you're like, oh, I hate you. No. Oh, that means I hate you immediately. No. I don't hate anybody. See that? I mean, I don't know. Because you can't tell me that if someone is born on a specific day,

that I'm gonna... There are people that I'll meet, they're like, I'll be like, oh, I don't automatically ask them what their sign is right away. I'm not Kuku. But if I hear their sign and it's like many times different people have the same sign that I'm like, ooh, we... We struggle, you and me. You're noticing a pattern. Yes. Okay. All I know is that I fall for Taurus. Oh. And then I'm lost in the sauce. Beauty, hard workers.

You know, who else falls for Taurus? Minnitarim. Minnitarim. The one glory looking farm lady. I know you. You don't know me. I know you. They're pointing. They're pointing with the sharp fingers. Should we call it? Should we call it? Yes. See who won? All right, we're calling it. Fine.

Selena find Selena read the tally. What happened? This is pretty close. I think I know I was trying really hard This one was really good. I'm very chill. I wasn't trying that hard to hold my laughter. I let it flow. Oh Yeah, I could tell all right Amanda laughed 19 times

Wow. 19 times Amanda. It's a lot of laughs. Tommy laughed 10 times. That's right. I'm a serious bastard. Yeah, you are. And Shane laughed 14 times. Whoa! So our special guest, Tommy Bo, is the winner. Tommy won. Special guest. And do you know what you get? What do I get, Amanda? A cameo from me.

Oh, my God. And you don't even have to pay for it because you got to make that request. Can you tell me I get a I did a great job and make sure that it's a number two and not a number one. What do you mean? When you're when you're on the number two. Oh, oh, OK, I was going to I was going to record it right now. And then I just realized you wanted it on the toilet. So I know I want to hear the. No, you can record it and give it to him.

Yeah. Okay. I want to hear the splashes. I personally don't want to be a witness to you recording. Sure, sure. Yeah, I think that would be, I think that would scar me. That would be awful. There's a lot that I deal with, so no. Tommy, thank you for being here. Tommy, you win a $20 gift card too? Wherever. Panera Bread. I was just thinking that. Where are you actually? I love Panera Bread. Do I get it ever? No. I haven't had it in 20 years, but I love it. No, same. Same.

guys that was tntl let us know if you want us to do more of these we love them they're getting more chill but they're actually getting more fun for me I'm glad to be a part of this chill vibe version and now that I've used all four parts of my brain as soon as we cut I down or down like a robot you are done so yeah absolutely thanks for being here Tommy thank you thanks for watching and check out Tommy's show

Oh, my God. We're going to find it. Right. Tommy Bones, T-O-M-E-Y-B-O-N-E-S on YouTube. First episode with Amanda should be out. And then all of last season is still out. So you can watch that, too. It's so much fun. All right. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.