73: Jamie and Sophie get BRUTAL feedback from their producers

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the episode on the menu today. We have producer Jim Hamer and producer Ewan giving us our yearly review. We talk about how we are desperate to move out of our flat. That smells like shit and we reflect a long whole year together as a couple. We look forward to 2025 and of course we have listeners, messages. Honey, you ready? Let's go.

Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophie Lang. And we'd be married for our whole year. One whole year. And a lifetime to go. That's right. Let's go, baby. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to newlyweds podcast. Today's episode is to reflect on the year that we've had. OK. So we're going to do this a lot of reflecting. And then perhaps looking forward to what we're excited for in the new year, because there are so many things that we are excited for.

I'm really, really excited for 2025. Why? What are you excited for? The house. Same. I really am so excited. Mostly because you probably all think that I'm so spoiled and I'm materialistic, but our house stinks of shit. No one knows what we've gone through. We have lived. You all think that we're high maintenance. None of you would have put up with the fact that we sit in other people's shit.

Day in and day out, I wake up in the night, gasping for fresh air, because I have inhaled the people in that fucking restaurant balloons. Shit. And I am sick of it. I really am sick of it. And I think what is so...

I think actually people listening actually think we're joking. We're actually not joking. No, no, no, we're not. We're really not joking. And yeah, why don't you move out? We've tried to move out. But what I always say, I am really embarrassed about is like, our friends come over and they actually think we're like kind of disgusting because they're like, why are you putting up with this? They're like, oh my God, I heard it on your podcast like two years ago, like, does it still swell? I'm like, yes. And they're like, do you not like, why do you, why do you live in that? I'm like, don't know.

Call people of the day, it's when you just put up with it. We can't, they're so gross of us, like what? Because it's what it does is it really teases you. It's, it's quite sneaky to smell. Because what happens is, is you spend a week.

not smelling it. And then suddenly on like a Thursday, when you've just got back at like 623, if something stinks of shit and you're like, oh my God, it stinks of shit. It's like, you know, in the like Disney cartoon movies where like someone comes in and they cast a spell in the corner and the smoke comes from the corner of the room and it slowly, slowly, slowly encompasses the room. It's like that. It will come from a random corner and you're like, I think I smell it. And within 10 minutes, you're like,

And then it goes, it's like the witch comes and it takes it away. And then it goes, it poof, and it's gone up. I don't know where it evaporates to, but it's off, it's out the room. We should go around the room doing this. Like a sort of smell catcher. Almost like in some sort of like mouse, like position, and you'll be smelling the corners of the room, trying to find out where it's coming from, because you think you're a detective, and if you find what corner of the room is... Never done that for a minute. You do this, you go,

No, no. What's that? And I go, we know what it is. No, that's what I do when you fart. And I'm like, what's that? Because I have to work out because there's a very distinctive smell. We sound disgusting. I actually feel really upset. I feel upset because I am not this person and I have married you, you poo human. And I just like live and shit now and sit with your farts all around me.

It's hideous. I don't, I don't. So for that reason, I'm so excited because I feel like my life will begin when I move into that house. I'll smell what everyone else gets to smell. Fresh air. By the way, I've had known things. I look like I've got these raised bumps. I have vitamin boosters on my skin and I think they're still a bit bumpy. I think you look beautiful. I get a boot again. Oh, a booty girl. What has been your highlights of the year?

My highlight of the year is actually going on tour. I really love going on tour. I had so much fun. We went around the UK, you and I, on the tour. I had so much fun. I just really did. It was so fun looking back on it.

My favorite thing about the tour, though, was when Sophie would drink red balls before going on stage. And we go on stage. Sophie had drunk about three red balls. It's not true, guys. They're going to think I'm going to have a warm red ball.

You had one red bull and so forth on stage. And I was riffing with her. Like we do, we have a sort of thing. We were just riffing, going back and forth. Suddenly Sophie just completely freezes and looks at me. And I asked you a question. You didn't really respond. Little did I know is that inside, you thought you were having a heart attack? Yeah, I can see. And I said, I went, oh my God, I'm having a heart attack on stage.

I don't know if I'm getting anxiety problems or something. Like, I got on stage and my mouth, you asked me, I literally froze on stage. And then I couldn't stop saying it to everyone. I was like, guys, you don't know what just happened to me. I think what happens with you quite sweetly is that you don't think about a situation until you're in it. Because I don't get nervous one ounce on stage. I'm like, why are you freaking out? Like nothing. And then I walk out and I'm like,

There's 4,000 people staring at me and I don't even know what my name is. I remember we did our first ever live show when you were like, it's going to be just Tony Cho, whatever. And then as we were rehearsing, the only way I could describe it is Sophie lost all personality. And she can only repeat what I was saying. So I would say, hello in the rehearsal. Hello, everyone. So if you go, hello, everyone.

So I'm not gonna be like, okay fine. I'd say, how's everyone doing today? Sophie, how's everyone doing today? You would only quite hate it with the rehearsals. I find the rehearsals actually paying for like, I don't wanna rehearse. Like, no, you don't, cause it's off the car. So why do we have to bring them to rehearse? I hate rehearsing with like my agents staring back at me like, I'm like, no, I'm not rehearsing with you. I'm not an actor. I'm not reading off a script. So why am I rehearsing like my own thoughts?

What else has happened this year that you really have loved? I just gave bath to Heather, who I love so much, and I'm just so in love with her and so proud of my sister. That is amazing. Yeah, it's really amazing. And it's actually so refreshing because she just loves every minute of it. So that's been really special. And can we shout out to Georgia, who may be listening, may not be listening? Like, she's a pretty epic mum.

Yeah, she really, really is lovely. She's an epic mum and I don't think she might. And also, I heard this one, her breasts are so large. I think you keep mentioning how big her breasts are like chill out. But if I was like, if I was the baby, like I would, like surely it's like the biggest thing full of milk, you'd be so excited to go near it as a child.

It's only weird there, isn't it? It does, Hanwood, and they're not that big. They're big, but you're the one who's made me think they're big because you can't stop yapping on about how big her boobs are. In a great way, they are. Are you sure in a great way? I'm sure in a great way. Do you think, hopefully, Touchwood?

Touchwood, we have a baby as well. Yes, I'm sure my boobs will go that big tea. Wow. Okay, moving on. What's been your favorite? I think record yours are going to go in North. So big, they're going to have to wear like a Cyclops bra. I just want big bra. Like I have it. No, sorry. You're going to have to wear a hammock. Sorry, I have to tell you this story.

Georgia was like having she had cereal with like chopped banana on her cereal in bed with valor. I don't know if you know, but Barry's like so clean. There's not a crumb. You go to her house. It's like there's been a professional cleaner in there for the whole time.

George's husband, yeah. George's husband. He walks in and she sees him go over on the bed and like, that's some crumbs and there's like a bit of milk and for some reason, which is already grazing itself. He gets the milk and goes, eats it himself. He's like, and he thought it was none of which is also so icky and gross. Anyway, George has just looked at him and went, why did you just do that? That was my breast milk.

He liked white. Not even he knows why he put it in his mouth. Have you ever done something like that? It's such a weird reflex. It's like when you wipe someone's blood off their face and then you lick it off. I mean, I've never done that, but I can imagine people do it and you're like, why in the hellish worlds of life did I just put that in my mouth?

Like, yeah, you catch like, oh, what the hell's that? The last thing on Earth you do is eat it. If you see something, don't test it with your mouth. Don't test it with your mouth. The road away. You do. You're quite testing with your mouth. No. Yeah, you are. Sometimes you hold like the remote controlling me.

Oh, God. That's funny. When you eat things that you don't really know what they are is some of the work, I told you this, still to this day, I was at school and for pudding, we had this delicious pink moussey thing. Still this day, don't know what it was. It wasn't. I don't know what it was, but it was amazing.

And I ate my first one, it was like delicious. And I said, sorry, can I please have some seconds? And they went, yeah, fine, I must be 10. And they put another one in. I ate it and ate it. And then halfway through, I crunched on something that burst in my mouth. And still to this day, if I think about it too much, I'm like, what was that? What was that that burst in my mouth? Once I had a straw.

You know the metal straws I put in the dishwasher. Oh my God, no. Oh my God. Once I was drinking my water with my straw and shot up something in my mouth. And to this day, I've never known what it was. And I, he, but the thought of it. I was slaps, slaps, slaps, like morning, morning, morning.

Choked, hit the back of my throat, rocks on it from the dishwasher. Basically, it's a mouldy view that was in the dishwasher. That's absolutely disgusting. Okay. What are you excited for 2025? Just the next chapter in our life is what I'm really excited for. I just want to just embrace that.

Nicely coded. Is that coded? I don't know. Like, hey, come on. What are you excited for? I'm excited to, um, I'm excited to like, yeah, the next chapter in our lives, I think maybe. We're very excited about 2025. I think 2025 is going to be a really good year. I think it's going to be amazing. My new year's resolutions. Yeah. Are this my new year's resolutions are to stop.

trying to take things too seriously and enjoy the process more. I think I have very much been heading to trying to make things work the whole time. People present. And not actually enjoying what has been created and what we're doing. So for me, it would be way more present with stuff.

with everything. So that's my thing. I would really like you to be more present with things. That would be my, that would be my New Year's resolution and force you to be more present with things. My New Year's resolution is to let go. Like it's going to happen. Like you can't be controlling everything.

I don't think I'm that much of a control for you anyway, but maybe I am like, you can't have control of everything. So don't be upset or worry or get crazy about the things you can't control. Only worry about the things you can. I love that. Also, I'm going to be a nose breather.

Get that mouth to take me in. I'm going to be a nose breather. That's my 20-25. I tried to do it last night in bed with you. Yeah, I know it's awful. You're breaking. I don't know how people, like, you don't get enough oxygen in your body. He doesn't breathe. His mouth is open all day long, guys. This mouth, it's like that all day long. I can't even imagine. I've never, I can't keep my mouth open. It's so sore and dry if I keep it open for more than a second. You're like this. On your motorbike, open. Imagine all the flies that go in. So,

What we're going to do today, though, mouse tape. OK, that's my thing. But what we're going to do today, though, is because it says a new year's lovely little episode. We thought it'd be fun to have producer Jemima and producer Ewan come onto the show and we're going to critique

our year of working together, what we're like to work together. Maybe I have some feedback for you and maybe I have some feedback for Jemima. Maybe you do. They have some feedback for us. So we're going to do a yearly review of what we're like to work together. You're going to be ready for this. Oh boy, am I ready? You shouldn't be ready.

Why should I be ready? You should be worried because you want my friend or a tyrant to work for. You, you're a tyrant. Are you joking? I would say that I'm tricky in circumstances, but overall, I think I'm wonderful to work with. You, my friend, are a tyrant. Oh, that is such a lie.

New Year's Eve, very exciting. I don't know what you guys are doing, but Sophie and I are going to my friend Georgie's to spend it with her, which is so exciting. We're going to have a very chilled, very lovely New Year's, bring in the New Year. Happy 2025! Happy New Year! If we were going to meet at a party, and we never met before, and it was New Year's Eve and we're looking for a kiss, and

We're going to flirt with each other. Do you think we better still do it? I think we should do a little bit of roleplay doing it. I can't be English. Okay. So what do you want to be? Right, I'm Irish and you're New Zealand. You're Zealand? Yeah. Good morning, how are you? Okay. So I'm from New Zealand. Yeah, I'm already in it. Hi, how are you doing? Where are you from? It's Kiwi. He's Kiwi. I try to find the way in it.

Are you alright to keep talking to yourself? Are you okay when you look like you're about to burst? And I feel I'm well looking at it. Do I need to call somebody? Do you have somebody on your phone that I could call for you? A friend or your family member or something? Oh, no, I don't need that.

I don't need that. I just wanted to come over and try and flirt with you. Flirt? Yes, flirt with you. Flirt? Yeah, I just wanted to... Are you mimicking my accent now? No, I'm from Cape Town. You're from South Africa? Yeah, from South Africa. Where are you from? I'm from Ireland. Oh, I love Ireland. From Dublin. Ah, Dublin. Hey. Hey, man, you're a woman. Hey, do you know...

Why did you keep, what's your voice, your accent? Do you know how that makes me horny? No, I don't know. Because my penis keeps doubling. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I wouldn't even say bye. I just feel like fucking off I go. That crete with the seven different accents. Talking about his penis doubling.

Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Well, isn't. I think it's time because it's just... Come on, it's time for ladies and gentlemen. It's time for ladies and gentlemen. It's time for listeners, messages.

Okay, here we go, from anonymous. A few years ago, me and my friends went to a New Year's Eve event, which was space theme.

Wanting to commit to the theme but also look cute and sexy, I decided to dress as David Bowie with lots of sparkly spandex and the classic red and blue lightning bolt face paint. It was one of those rare times that our whole group was single so we were all open to having some fun if we met some hot guys. We got chatting to a big group of lads and really headed off with them. One caught my eye and we spent the night chatting and getting quite flirty.

When the party ended, I invite him back to mind for a bit of an afters. Back at a house, we drink in dancing and slowly people start leaving until it's just me and him left. Before I know it, we're all over each other and he goes to get a condom. We start having sex and are having a great time when suddenly he stops and says he thinks the condom has come off. We both look down and sure enough, it's not there. Both panicking, we search frantically for it, but it's nowhere to be found.

I think it must be still inside you, he says awkwardly. I tentatively reached around to see if I could feel anything. This whole thing is just a nightmare. But I couldn't feel anything. Panicking slightly, I told him that he was going to have to get it out. So I lied down, and like a coal miner, he gets his phone torch out. No, no, no, wait, no ways in hell. Like a coal miner, he gets his phone torch out to look inside my vagina.

As the faint torch comes on, I almost scream as I see his face, which looks demonic and is actually uncovered with what looks like blood. Oh my god, no way. Oh my lord. Thinking I must have got my period and how could the situation possibly get any worse? I put my hands to my face, I realized my red face paint must have smeared all over him while we were kissing. Oh thank god.

Counting that once more blessing, I proceeded to squat and cough until he painstakingly fished around inside me, before eventually managing to remove the condom from inside me. After that incredibly intimate and shameful experience, I can never bring myself to text him or see him again. But as luck would have it, I bumped into him at another New Year's party a few years later and was so embarrassed I had to leave.

Can I just say the balls on you for being like, right? Amazing. Get your torch out and root around my vagina, please. I know we've been in each other for a whole minute, but I mean this plastic out of me. What happens in that situation? You've got to do that, right? I would like go to the bathroom and like try and fish out myself. I don't think I would want some guy be the eyes with the torch in every muscle of my vagina. No, no, no. But kudos to you from Anonymous. Okay.

I used to work in a sales office and like many out there it was a very blokey environment. Stories were always told that were not very PG. Being in sales that meant that the staff turnover was intense. One girl will call her Susan, seemed very shy at first but after a few weeks she started to open up. They do say watch out for the quiet one.

On one of the sales days, which is a huge piss-up in everyone is in fancy dress, Susan had a few too many pints and divulged her secrets. She disclosed to her team that her and her boyfriend were into frozen pipelines. Sorry? Basically, meaning one of them was shit in a condom, freeze it and the following day they would fuck one another with her. So aggressive.

As you can imagine, it was the talk of the office. Oh, and the office was just the down the road from Sophie's favourite subway right next to top top. I know exactly where that is. I'm shook! It's called frozen piping. People shit into a condom. They peel that plastic over their bum hole and they poop in it. They tie it up like it's a sausage and sausage wrapping and they freeze it and then they use it as a dildo. I'm done. What is wrong with you all? What is wrong with you all? Answer me that.

I don't think I have a turd that big. Turd. I don't know where the use of turd. Turd. I go, right, I'm really shocked at that as well. Love stories from tap. After six years of trying to conceive my second job of Noluk, my husband and I decided to go the IVF route. We decided due to financial and emotional reasons. We weren't going to go round after round if it wasn't successful because we already had our wonderful daughter. And if it didn't work, that was our sign. It wasn't meant to be.

However, I wanted to give it my best shot the first time. So I did all the tips in the tricks that the internet suggested. Warm fee, acupuncture, Mac Donald fries. One of these tips was to make sure you had a good laugh straight after your transfer. So after my jump straight into the car and turned on your podcast and spent the whole drive home laughing along with you guys. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you because the transfer was successful and I'm now entering my second trimester of pregnancy.

That's amazing. Oh, my God. Congrats. I'm so glad we got to meet you. Love. Who knew that you'd love? That's amazing. I don't know what's right. That's amazing. So our podcast helped it. I'm so happy. Maybe you could call the boy if it's a boy, Jamie, and if it's a girl, Sophie. Are you just asking that listener to name their children after us? Yeah.

Do you remember how maybe you got us tattooed on her? That was also 2024. Oh, my look. Is someone got there? Yeah. They got... In Dublin, someone got nearly as tattooed on them. Do you think they're going to regret that? No. Why would they? That was wild. You drew newlyweds on them. Oh, yeah. My writing! And then they got it tattooed.

That was a big 24-minute one. Hey, I want to say a huge thank you to you guys for all of your listeners' messages, of all of you being vulnerable, of all of your stories, of all of your amazing things that made us cry or made us laugh. Not only did we hopefully make you guys laugh and have a fun time, but you also make us feel great. And I really want to say a big thank you to them for that.

Me too. We love you guys so much and we are just so grateful and we love doing this and we wouldn't be able to do it without you guys. So thank you so much for all of your support and listening to us and writing in your stories and just being the best bloody listeners out there. Yeah, you guys completely and utterly rock. And if you do want to get in touch with us with any sort of stories, especially for maybe 2025,

Something you're looking forward to, any stories that happen at New Year, whatever it is, you can slide into our DMs at Newlyweds podcast, or you can send us an email. Newlyweds. at jampopproduction.co.uk. Everything is literally in the show description, so you can check it out there. Okay, team, thank you so much. It was our last Listens measures of 2024. Let's go on to 2025 and make it epic. That's the end of... Listens messages.

Okay, honey, are you ready for this? Oh boy, am I ready? I don't know why we've decided to do this. Buckle your seatbelts, fasten your necks and close your eyes. It was. Oh, that was you and that's already going in the review. Because this is a big deal. We've got produce again. I know we've never seen produce you in space.

other than on the vlog. No, but we spoke about his arsehole. So we're about to see. No, he can really put an arsehole to the face. So producer here is coming on who helps produce, obviously newlyweds and also producer, Jemima. Come on. Now, producer, Jemima has kind of featured on the show before and she's, we put her on dates on the show and all sorts of things. So we could get a little history of the two of them, but they're also going to review us.

of what we're like to work with. Are you ready for this? I'm more than ready. OK, please welcome to the show producer Ewan and producer Jemima.

Well, welcome. Well, looky here. Here we are. Looky here. We've got Boiler Seat, two courts, two Lady and Boy and Courts. Yeah, we forward court tonight to repute the pieces in your yearly review. I'm not worried, to be honest. I'm not. OK. You're giving a stand, my dear. Yeah, who do you think is going to be bad cop and good cop?

Well, I think, oh, God, well, do you mind me for Jamie? Surely you can't think about me. I think you're both going to be back off to him in good cop, Jamie. Before we get into it, we should probably, you should guys should explain who you are.

Great question, I ask myself that every morning, who am I? I'm Jemima, I produce, sometimes a show, I exact produce the show as well. Yeah, and I've occasionally pop up in the show. And you're the voice on Great Company? Yes, I'm also in Great Company. And she does this...

Oh yeah, the singer of the great community. Yeah, you also do that. Sorry, that's a real strange you're both, I must say. Thank you. Thank you. Are you, sir? Who are you? I'm Ewan. I am the producer of newlyweds and also somehow involved in the lengths. I don't know what my role is, but... And we talk about his arsehole. Yeah, I'm famous for my arsehole. Jemima's brand is... Everyone comments for the vlog. Oh, Jemima, drop your skincare, drop your skincare routine. And my brand is, what does my arsehole look like?

So, thank you. I don't know. I said it would be bleach. And I agree. Squeaky clean. Yeah. Which I appreciate. Which is why it's getting kept in.

Can we also, okay, can we, we also got to get a little background on you guys, but first, can we go to get an insight? So, um, you, you in a relationship? I am in a relationship. Yeah. For five years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With Jake, who you offered a job to. Yeah. We can say that. What was your response?

No, absolutely not. What are you talking about? Jamie pulled me into a meeting room really urgent. Like, is he always does? And it's like, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you. It's like, I've just met someone who knows your boyfriend. He sounds really good. Can we get him here? He should work here. And I was like, we don't have any jobs going.

What are you talking about? I'm a team of 12. I couldn't work with my boyfriend every day. I genuinely don't. What was your actual reply? I said no. I heard that it was absolutely not. Absolutely not. I didn't even finish this sentence. I went, do you think your beginning went no?

That's what you said. No, but you don't know. Yeah, not going to work. Gemima, you have been on the show and last time you were looking for love. Yeah, I went on a date. You went on a date for the show. So the young whippersnapper with a young whippersnapper called Nick. He was gorgeous and was very sweet.

Yeah. So what is the update at the moment? The update is, I'm in love. But not with Nick. Sorry. But I do have a boyfriend. I can't confirm. I do have a boyfriend at long bloody last. OK, we're going to get an insight, OK, guys. So we've got some questions that we're going to go through. And you guys have to be brutally honest. OK, so.

What's the year for you being like? Okay, it's been a lot this year. What is it like being at Jampot working with us? Be honest. What's like you and your first? Mental. I think you get used to it. It is hectic.

It's hectic. I feel like when I first started, I was like, oh, my God. But we've done loads. We've done like the cruise was happening when I first started. Yeah. The tour launched the vlog. We've moved to office. You launched great company like it's been a mad year. But it's hectic. When I first started, I felt like I heard your voice, Jamie.

everywhere. Like I would be in the studio and then I would be editing year and then you got a job on radio one to the point that was in a nail shop one time and I just like two months sitting and I asked them to turn the radio off. I was like, I can't listen to you. Yeah, they did it. Yeah.

I feel like I have a climatise now. Now I'd miss it if it wasn't there, but the first couple of months it takes some getting used to. OK, what about Sophie Go? What does Sophie like to work with? Be honest, Jemima. I just couldn't love Sophie more. What the hell is this bullshit? I love you too as well, Jamie. But when we went on the cruise, I remember just getting back and just being like, I love you.

I feel like, because we, on the cruise, we spent every night we got for dinner together and we'd have like, Jamie, you'd just be like, let's ask really deep questions. Every night, it's like, so what was your biggest fear right now? Have you ever thought of like, the worst thing you could do to family? What's your biggest secret? We were like, tell me your entire love life from the beginning. Yeah, I just think you're wonderful. And I mean, actually, I'm gonna wait till my review comes.

I think I love working with you as well. You just calm and you turn up and you do the job and you're good for inside a celebrity gossip. That's what I love. I remember like a big celebrity event happening this year and you had me and another gay lad in the office eating out the palm of your hands while you were retelling some of the story. We were both

I love that, that's a real perk. Okay, critique, what is the, what's being bad stuff? What have I been bad at? What is it like? For me, I will avoid Jamie on a Monday. Really? Yeah, because it's too much energy, am I right? But it's also, he's had two days off. It's not enough time for him to fully switch off, but it's enough time off for him to go, we're not doing anything. If you offer a week, you'll relax, where it's two days, I hate singing on a Monday.

That was actually your first advice for me when I first started, is I don't take anything Jamie says personally on a Monday, he's just had too much time to think. It's awful. Yeah. Guys, I'm sorry, I'm so glad, because what I'm getting from this is that you all feel really sorry for me. Yeah, Team Sophie. I'll say until 11pm how to look through every video from 2001, from when we started going through the grading, I was like,

I want to go to sleep. Okay, if you guys had a bigger favorite of you two, I already know the answer to this. You're a Sophie boy and I'm a Jamie girl. Are you not on both of Jamie? Are you not both? I'm shocked. I think you're mine was secretly a Sophie. I'm just a Jamie girl because I work so closely with you. Yeah, that's all.

I'm a Sophie boy but I'm like more and more Jamie boy too. I feel like you have got a little special place in my heart now. Whereas when I first started I've not got a lot of time for straight men and so Jamie has become the exception to that role. When you first started were you a bit like

Yeah, Jamie's like, like hectic, but it was like a positive thing. It's like he is a lot, but he has, it's like always comes from a good place. And we've worked, I'm sure you have as well, you work with celebs that are proper dickheads and neither of you are dickheads. I just can't get over that I'm that much of like a...

I tell you all the time, that's why when I cry and I said, no one could be married cheap at me. You should trust me. I thought, yeah, I couldn't say that. Are you serious? Is it that much? No, but it's fun as well. I love working with you. Yeah, for one day a week. Yeah, not on a Monday, four days. You are super creative and you do annoyingly like your ideas are good. Like you do. Not always, but you do have good ideas.

Have you guys ever wanted to write in one of your own stories? Absolutely not. No. Nothing embarrassing. Oh my God, you're like, I can't wait. I have one, but we're trying to work out to block my whole family from airing this. Okay, so you can't wait. I'm sad.

I'm in. So my, this is so embarrassing. My grandma, grown up, was a sculptor. So in our house, we had some of her work, some of her sculptures. Some of them were a bit abstract and some of them were really realistic. And one of the things we had was like a life-size woman's head that she'd made.

And so when I got my first girlfriend when I was 11 years old, she was desperate to kiss me, and she kept texting me, always wanting to kiss in the woods, and she was like, let's have a snog in the woods, but I'd never snogged anyone, so I was terrified. Bit of a red flag that was always in the woods, yeah, loosely. She was desperate to snog me.

Anyway, so she was always texting my 3310. And then one day I was like, God, I'm going to have to practice kissing. So my mum and my dad and my sister leave the house to go to Safeways or whatever. And I go downstairs. And this life-size head is like where I, how tall I was, is like on a shelf that kind of matched my high. So it like kind of just like started with like a quick, like quick hair.

and then it got like quite passionate quite quickly and it was like fully snobbing, this statue of this woman's head like could not stop like the whole time they were out like I like leaked this statue from like the front to the back like it was so so intense.

And they went on for months. Like anytime they were in the garden, like they were just like not in the room. I would like run downstairs and snog this statue. Like couldn't, could not stop. Like addicted. And during those months that this was happening, Lacey obviously dumped make. She was like picking up a weird vibe. Did you have a kiss there?

Never kissed her, because I was like too busy being in a relationship. So I was in a relationship with this dad show.

And then also during that time, my grandma passed away. And so it kind of like dawned on me. I was like, God, I'm never going to be able to ask like, where this has come from? Like, who is this person? So after like months of snocking this statue, I kind of set my mum down. And I'm like, Mum, like, I need to ask you, like about this statue, like grandma made it. Where's it come from?

And my mum looked at me and she was like a bit sad and she was like, you know, that statue is more important now more than ever because your grandma made it. And she made it as a self portrait of herself. And that is when I realized I was going straight is an option for me. I don't think that's it.

It was either gay or serial killer. I was like, oh no. Oh my life. Oh my life. None of your family know. None of my family know. No, no, no. When my mum told me I went like pale, all I could hear was white noise. Like, was that what stopped you snogging? Yeah, well, no, no. Lucy had already picked up a weird vibe. So she'd broken up with me. But I didn't snuck anyone for like seven years. That's it. Yeah.

So that was it. That's the best out of all of it. It's like they're in the garden, you're like... So passionate. And it wasn't just like it would go on for like half an hour, like it was so intense.

And that's my listening story. I've always thought about writing it in, but just never been breaking it. Oh, my God! Yes, you've seen the lesson! Ever had it! I can't bear it! A round of applause for you and our fans. That is so good. That is so good. Oh, God. Have you got our end-of-year reports for us? We do. Oh, God. OK, we're going to hear one review from each of you. Sophie, I'll start with you.

Sophie has been a joy to work with. She's always polite and respectful. I've really enjoyed watching Sophie blossom as an interviewer stepping up particularly with the housewives and the olivers. You are a natural at putting people at ease, and I know you have a thousand questions for everyone you meet, so don't be afraid to be you and ask what you want. The producers are here as a safety net, but don't worry about trying to fit into a mold of how to be an interview. You've got skills, I see, so lean into that.

And how can I not mention your acting skills? Fantastic improv on the spot. It is second to none. Sophie, you are cool. Oh, I think I've written this in rhyme. For no reason, I didn't do anywhere else. Sophie, you are calm and cool with all the pranks we put you through. You're the star of the show. Never stop being you. There you go. Oh, I love you. I would thank you. This is wonderful for me. You and? You ready? I'm ready. Do you want more of my glasses?

No, I won't be able to see anything. Okay, be brutal. Come on, let's do it. Be brutal. Be brutal. Jamie is a chatty, talented presenter who immediately makes his guests comfortable. He's full of ideas and it pains me to say it, but some of them are, God.

Although he's not afraid to tell me if one of his ideas has landed better than mine. So he could do with working on winding his neck in. Called me the other day to tell me that. No way. Yeah. It was a title for the vlog. And he, five minutes before the vlog went live, he wanted to change it. And I was like, and then the next day it did really well. And he called me to tell me.

He doesn't do that when they're bad ideas, then. No, that's true. Yeah, he's silent when it's a bad idea. Hang on, can I just say, when someone does do something better than me, I go, that's definitely better what you've said or I get it. That's true. I always admit it, right? He has energy and commitment to our podcast 24-7, which is really special, apart from if he wants to share that energy with you by calling you at 9pm on a Monday.

More important than his commitment to Jampot, his skin has been absolutely glowing and up close, I can confirm that there is not one wrinkle on his face. Oh my God! It's not going to bother, does it? It's because I've just been healthy. Next year, Jamie should continue with the energy and creativity he brings to Jampot. However, he should stop lying about the regular procedures he has to keep him looking 20-3.

And he should only text me between 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday to Friday. He should also stop asking me about what my asshole looks like. Happy, happy with your end of year. I'm very happy with that. I like it. Do you have to teach her that was? I like this. Very, very, very like in a teacher's performance. It's such a power trip. All right. So what, Kagan, why don't we review each other? What would you change?

Jamie. Be serious, good event. Jamie, this year on Reflection, you have been amazing at presenting Great Company.

I've loved the podcast, one of my favorite podcasts. I think, Jemima, you've flourished. I'm gonna give you a review, too. You have flourished. I think you are so lovable in it. Sorry, Jamie, this is not about me. It really made me laugh, and that was one time. That was one time. It was one time. You really, really laughed at that, and I can't remember why. Anyway, that was important to mention. Jamie, you have been very amazing with Great Company, and I like your tenacity.

I like your tenacity. You wanted something and you made it happen and you never stop. Your bad points are also your good points. Your bad points are that you never stop. You are in everyone's business. You have never taken over an answer. You call everyone all hours of the day. No respect. You're not very humble.

I'm not humble. No, you're not very humble. I am a humble. I think we should lay. I know, wait, wait, hang on. I'm a humble. Well, not humble, absolutely, I don't think. I think you're mistaking the word humble, doesn't it? Yeah, it's a great humble. As in, what? Well, it may be what you constantly talk about money, and I think it's a big craft. No, that's not being humble. Like, that's not being humble. It is in my world. I'm incredibly humble. Okay.

And the others of a humble is like arrogant. Yeah, I would go on. I'm not arrogant at all. I'm saying the opposite. I think that you, um, you're arrogant in the sense that you think your ideas are better ever. And you, there are a lot of professionals in the room and that's why you're not humble because you will boss them about. And I don't like that. It's a bit more humble and get in your place a bit.

Okay. And you're great, but you also need to chill out because yes, the podcast needs to be great. And of course, we want to give the listeners the basics here, but we also want to live life. Okay. And not just being a podcast studio for the rest of our days. Okay. Right. Shall I review you? Yeah. Okay. You're Sophie, you're brilliant in every way. You really are. You are so... And they don't just kiss my ass.

Don't worry, I'm not going to. I'm just trying to soften the blade that's coming at the end.

So you're so good at what you do, and you've grown in this insane confidence that you suddenly now realize, actually, you're pretty good at interviewing and understanding and podcasting. And before I don't think you had that confidence in yourself, you're so funny without knowing you're funny, which makes you even funnier than actually you are funny already, which is the most insane thing. Because you're probably one of the funniest people I know. And you don't even know why you're funny, which makes it even funnier. OK, that was really long. Well, it's true. You're negatives.

You'll complain about a podcast, write it, or like something that goes out, right at the end when it's gone out, because you haven't taken the time to have a look at the middle part of it. So if a video goes out on the day that you don't like, you'll get angry at me, which then I'll have to tell the team, because you haven't looked at the process of it. So you're at the beginning of the process, which is like a recording and doing that, and then you just see the end process.

You're not involved in the middle. I will say it's a very fast turnaround in this in this jumper. Well, thank my God, if I miss a day blink, my time's up. I'll have no time to change anything. That is, that is, I guess that's just where it is. That's the way it is. But it's like a full-time job. Yeah, that's the way we work it. That's why we work it.

Well, that's the end of that. But if you do want to get in touch, you can. You can slide into our DMs and send us voice notes, pictures, anything you want to tool, please send it to at Newlyweds podcast or you can send us an email, newlyweds.jampoproducts.co.uk. Everything is in the show description. As always, we hope you have an incredible new year and 2025 is going to be a big year for everyone. I can totally feel it. It's going to be amazing. Okay. If you're getting married,

Good luck. If you're getting divorced, we love you. If you're having a, doing a renovation. Don't do it. Don't do it. If you're thinking of getting engaged over Christmas, go and do it. And if you're going to go and have the biggest old party up for New Year's Eve, what should you do? Just have fun. Have fun. He's not personally fancy. Yeah, kiss the person you fancy. We love you goodbye. We'll see you soon. Goodbye.