71. "I’d Clench It In!” – Sophie and Melissa Spill on toilet anxiety in relationships
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January 29, 2025
TLDR: Melissa reveals Toby is moving in, discussing furniture woes. Sophie shares reno progress and Love Island gossip with a focus on awkward relationship moments. Two listeners share dilemmas about clashing friends and sleepy boyfriends, seeking advice.

In this engaging episode of the Wednesdays Podcast, hosts Sophie and Melissa dive into the awkward yet relatable topic of toilet anxiety in relationships, alongside some light-hearted discussions about their personal lives and dilemmas from listeners. Here’s a breakdown of the episode’s key themes and discussions.
Episode Highlights
Melissa's Moving Update
- Melissa shares her excitement about her boyfriend Toby officially moving in, along with some chaos stemming from furniture arrangements.
- The episode humorously recounts the challenges she faced with a new chest of drawers that hilariously didn’t fit where planned—highlighting the need for proper measurements before purchases.
Sophie’s Home Renovation Journey
- Sophie provides updates on her home renovations and her excitement about moving in, expected to take place around June.
- The discussion touches on the trials of homebuilding, expressing the challenges that come with managing renovations.
Love Island Talk
- The girls discuss the latest couples from Love Island All Stars, leading into a deeper conversation about the often cringe-worthy early moments in relationships, such as the first awkward experiences surrounding bathroom breaks.
- They share tips for navigating these tricky situations, illustrating that toilet anxiety is a common issue in many relationships.
Dilemmas and Advice
Listener Dilemma 1: Friendship Conflicts
- A listener writes in about a conflict with her friend who seems to be siding with her ex’s new girlfriend. The host advises her to evaluate the friendship and consider if it’s worth preserving.
- Key takeaways for the listener:
- Prioritize your feelings and emotional well-being.
- Communicate openly about how the situation affects the friendship.
Listener Dilemma 2: Partner’s Fatigue
- Another listener shares frustration with her boyfriend constantly falling asleep during their time together, which she finds rude. The hosts empathize but also suggest approaching the conversation with support and sensitivity.
- Suggestions include:
- Discussing his tiredness and considering health aspects (like iron levels).
- Encouraging him to seek a health check-up to ensure nothing more serious is at play.
Practical Advice for Toilet Anxiety
- The conversation transitions into sharing clever tricks to handle emergencies when nature calls, such as:
- Sneaking out to nearby locations if possible.
- Utilizing scents like lighting a match or using soap to mask any odors.
- They emphasize that everyone experiences these moments and humorously share their own stories of awkward escapes.
Closing Thoughts
The episode is filled with laughter, relatable moments, and sound advice about navigating relationships and friendships. The candidness of Sophie and Melissa helps listeners feel at ease with their own insecurities and awkward moments, illustrating that they are not alone in their experiences.
Key Takeaways:
- Communication is key in friendships and romantic relationships, especially when facing conflicts or personal struggles.
- Toilets and romance don’t have to mix awkwardly; there are always clever ways to navigate these high-pressure moments.
- There is no shame in addressing health issues, whether it’s fatigue or nervousness surrounding relationship dynamics.
For more insights and advice, listeners are encouraged to engage with the podcast community and keep sending in their respective dilemmas.
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Announcement Chinese. We've got some really exciting news. You asked for it and we've listened. We're bringing you a premium version of Wednesdays. That's right. And it's called the follow-up. If you want ad-free bonus episodes and dilemma follow-ups, you can subscribe to the follow-up now. Check the link in the description of this episode or the bio of our Instagram.
You'll have access to our private feed, get special access to our group chat and so much more. This episode is sponsored by Candykins. If you're like us and you love the start to a new year and what it might bring, but also feel pressure to cut things out, like a sweet treat and make endless compromises and sacrifices, which can actually make January feel pretty gloomy. But good news, it doesn't have to be like that.
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Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists, and we're not experts at anything. In fact, we just challenge all the shit. And we love giving you guys advice, but as we love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help.
coming up on this week's episode. So we're chatting about Melissa's wardrobe disaster. And Toby's moving in with me, so we're going to discuss all the things about that, details. And I'm also giving you a little house for a new update. And Love Island, all stars is on at the moment, Sophie's been watching, so we're deep diving into that. Also, for the dilemmas, we are dealing with a tiny who's coming into conflict with one of her best friends. And a tiny who is dealing with her boyfriend just falling asleep all the time. And it's quite icky. Enjoy.
Welcome, welcome back. We're in our faux fur coats. This is actually a bit chilly in the studio. Is it not bright? What is it? More life. It's giving more life. We're a bit late to the game. So talk with you for your drink. So if you got me a lovely drink. Right. So I get an eye-smatcher. Now listen. Yeah.
I've gone back to, do you remember when I had black coffees all the time? So I was trying to be healthy early. And I can have it. And some days it's absolutely fine. Other days I can't talk. I'll do it in my mouth, just so I can't speak. It's like I stutter. I mumble. It's like bizarre. They do something to my body.
So if I get a match, it's very good, like slow release. So what I do is I get ice, soy milk, organic soy milk, bong soy, which paper said was great. Okay, yeah, lovely. And they put that in and it honestly tastes like oatmeal. Like it's so beautiful. My life is different. Yeah.
It's nice, but you've gone for a full form of full fat cap to that though. That's never going to be nice. But that is creamy. It's not watery. I see what you're saying. I'm down for a bit of matcha every now and then, but I'm not like this matcha obsessed. You know, people make it the whole identity. That's not me. Tell me through your drink, men. She's got, I just, I just do a full fat cap. So we've sat.
the Brazil nuts and all of that shindy. Oh, if I've got them there, then I'll have them on those in the morning with my coffee too, but sometimes I run out. It just depends on what's on that. It depends on when you wouldn't do it because you were like cortisol levels are going to raise. Apparently, yes, it can spike your cortisol, but I actually find it. It doesn't. It doesn't, for me, I think it's person to person. There was definitely a period of time where I had cortisol face, whatever you call it.
I think that was not puffy face. I think that was because we were so anxious with clenched our jaws so much my jaw look like what's that guy from that like blonde hair and he's like a
a cartoon character, like big guy, big-haired, tiny body, like Johnny Bravo, I look like Johnny Bravo. If you look at Aquafaces, it's quite the same thing. I saw some videos in myself at Christmas, like, at my house of, like, me a few years ago, and I was like, you know what? It's actually seven years ago, which is really exciting how far away it was. Yeah, I know. When we were made in Chelsea at seven years ago. I'm 28. I met you when I was 20. What the earth? What? I'm 30. I met you when I was 22.
I will say I wouldn't mind going back on it now, they're all in the Maldives. I know the Maldives looks absolutely stunning, doesn't it? Okay, right. We need to just talk about a few things. Okay, come on. Hit me then, sister. What's been going on? Huge news. So I don't know when this airs, maybe it won't have officially happened, but Toby's pretty much moved in already, if I want to. But from Feb, we're going to be a Feb, officially.
Yes, so his rent ends under Jan, as in like in terms of that. I understand. But like he's pretty much in now, we came back from partisan. He's like, do I just unpack here rather than going home unpacking and bringing it all back in two weeks? I was like, yeah, I have to go through now my space because I've been very spot and I've had my space and it's just been all for me. I filled it. And like when you have the space there, you fill it, right?
And I had all my clothes, like, organized, spread out. It was really nice. So now I'm like, shit. Anyway, we had this new chest withdrawals arriving, ordered them for Christmas to come under my TV and my room. I've been meaning to do this ever since I moved in, just never got around to ordering the right set. I was like, flapping quite a bit before the people came to. He was like, why are you like pacing? And I was like, I'm just a bit anxious. He was like, why? And I was like, I'm now just having doubts. I didn't measure.
the drawers are meant to go in. Who's like, what? I'm like, no, no, no, it will be fine. I definitely measured it. Like I obviously definitely measured it. What do you mean? Is it just like a slot they have to stay in town? Yeah, in between my wardrobes. So I'm like pacing and I'm like, oh, fucking hell. And then they come in. This chest of drawers guys, it's so heavy. It's got like a whole marble top. So it's fucking heavy. The wood is thick. There was five blokes getting this chest of drawers up. They have to go one step at a time because it's so heavy. It was such a parlava getting this chest of drawers in.
And then one of the guys comes and he goes, you sure that's going to fit love? And I'm like, ah, yeah, yeah, that's going to fit. Doesn't fucking fit, guys.
I don't. It's sad. Honestly, a measer away from the wall. Honestly, if anyone's watching, I'm going to show you a photo now. It's honestly, you keeping it like that. I don't know. I don't know what to do. I'm deaf safe for you, but that is it in between my wardrobe and it's right in front of the wardrobe door. So anyone's watching on YouTube, you can kind of see. So that is like, honestly, I'm so disappointed in you. That's really unlike you. And you know what? It's two centimeters out.
Not you being like to me, oh my god, you need to make sure you got this plug and that plug and you need to get another extra plug like three plugs by your wall, like you missed and know it all with the house and then you don't even measure that. I'm gonna give you a good tear. That is like crucial. That's just like such a rookie error. That's crucial. It's like in a slot. So stupid of me, so stupid. I don't really care about the furniture I need to know about the fact that you and Toby are gonna live together.
This has been nagging me. She was like, I think we were together for two years and you were like, so when is he moving it? It's a bit weird that you haven't at this point. No, you kept being like, no, don't want him to. Well, I had just moved into my house and I was quite enjoying my new space, you know? The best of both worlds. You could hop over tears and then you had your gorgeous space. Also, I think you're a bit still scarred from the whole breakup. Yeah, maybe I was like, we can't move in and then you decide like, no, I can't do this. This is a really big slap.
It's a big step and you're never going to be alone again. I was never alone anyway, honestly. We were together all the fucking time anyway. And we used to try and do a night off. I remember that was really fun though. Let me tell you, having a night off once in a while is great. Let me tell you, I bloody know. Well, sometimes I do because he plays like a lot of tennis and his courts are like booked at nine p.m. So basically it's a night off. I'm sleeping.
and dreamy, like I can just cook. I want to cook. It's more bad. And like, you just, oh, I know, watch TV while I eat it. Honestly, it's so bliss. And then I can just like sprawl. And I can also just look at my phone while watching TV, because that's what he hates. He's like, put your phone away. I'm like, fuck you. So speaking of houses, what's going on with yours? Because you're about to go into that realm why I've just gone into innocence of building, you know?
What measuring? No, we've measured everything. Everything's going to be... No, we're far away from the furnishings. We're far away. Well, maybe like a mum. That way. That will come around far. Update. We're meant to be in in March, but we're probably going to be in in June. May. Okay, June. June is on the contractor saying March is when our interior design is saying. So there's a little bit of... Okay. Anyway, I think I'm in the mercy of the contractor's hands because I can't believe it. You know the discrepancy there with the drawings. Yeah. Right.
It's looking amazing. When you go, there's like all the floor, like, nothing's. It's still the building site, but you can see like the line stone. I need to go now. Yeah, you need to go. You can see the archway to that. Before I like want to see it now. Oh, my God. Yeah. The bathroom just keeps like expanding our bathroom. Jamie's just like that. I'm worried about your wardrobe space in that bedroom.
I'll bet I've got my whole walk-in wardrobe in the next room. Down the road, yeah. In the next room. Down the road. I don't have a wardrobe. I don't have a wardrobe. I've got like a small... So where is his stuff going? We both have like a wardrobe like this. Yeah, in the room. In our room. We've got enough of him, one now for me.
And is that like where the bed is sticking out? So like that side, that side? No, no. So in between the bathroom and the bed, there's like a small corridor, under the, there's one archway and then there's another archway. And in there is that right. And then underneath the TV, there's chest of drawers. So that's that for that room. And that's going to have luck out every days. And then over the road. I walk into the next room and there's a walk in wardrobe.
OK, yes, I'm loving it all. It's really exciting. Yeah. So you know what has made such a difference for you? You've got a really good team of people that are fucking organised. I can't tell you how slim is genuinely unbelievable, like JoJo is incredible. And her vision for things I'm like, I know what I like. We both can see what we like and think I have quite nice days. But the thing she does, I'm like the detail. I didn't even know that existed. Yeah.
So love, I love all the stars is back. You're not watching it. I'm not watching it. Right. One of the girls comes in and she goes, my claim to fame is that I walked in with more Huggins. And I just die. She's actually really fucking funny. She talks about, she talks about like pooping and burping and like farting all the time. But I'm like, guys, like rich coming from me. She literally is on Noonie West where Jamie talks about me poo all the time. But like, I don't choose to do that. No. Is this a vibe?
Um, I'm going to say it's a hard no for me. I'm not talking about that. No. Especially not when I'm trying to find love. When I had that situation when Jamie and I used to live in evil and got, um, in his flat, his one bedroom flat, this flat was smart. And the bathroom was like in the bedroom. So small, small, small. I was like, smart.
But the Lou was like in the room, you know, you can have like a bathroom that's like kind of in the kitchen, not next to bed. It was in the bedroom. Yeah, it was in the bedroom. That's tough. It was so awful. And I used to just die. And I'll never forget the first, but basically when we were dating, we went to Glastonbury together, but like we weren't actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Like I remember this and all his fans were like, are you boyfriend and girlfriend? Like he wouldn't fucking say it. And I was like thinking that like,
I'm gonna go back and never fucking see you again. Anyway, we'll go back. We're obviously like dying of hangover. And you know, you're very hungover. Oh yeah, for hungover stuff. I've gone to not fuck. I've held it on for two days, you know? So yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Stuff's turning in there. And I was like,
I mean, to go to the Lou so badly, I don't know what to do. And I just remember he was just always minutes about and like, open the door when I was like, and they're like, there's no lock on the Lou, there's no lock on the Lou. Anyway, the last thing was around that area, there was also no places. Do you remember that? There was all three. You could have gone out. No, no, no. Fuck. Anyway, that was the first time I did it. And that was a good, like, seven months after we had started.
to be fair. I used to live like 10 minutes down the road. So I used to just jump in the taxi and be like, Oh my God, I forgot my toothbrush. Yeah. Holding in, clenching, cleansing in all into our worlds. I think I went quite, oh, you know what I used to do. Right next to Toby's is, um, used to be pizza. He's nice to nip in there too. Like if I need to do it. Yes, we're going to go out. No, no, sometimes I'd be on my way to his and it would be like nervous. Like, do I like,
See if this is actually like just in my head or like whatever. And I just like text everything you just let me out here, which is right before his house. And I just nippin' there, go to the gym. Genius. Genius. But also, Tiff Watson gave us this really good advice. Do you remember this? Is it the light match?
No, but that is also excellent because Jamie had matches on the top of his loo and I never thought anything of it is there's no candle in there. And then once I went in and it stank of matches like a match and I was like, oh my God, I think he does put some then lights match. The best thing would be to have a lighter because then you don't have the smell of the match. The match. I don't think it lighted us. They think anyway, you light a match. Yeah, there is. But obviously it's a bit of a giveaway because then it's like I just matches and you're like, oh, just had a little fire in here. Oh, you know,
Anyway, Tiff Watson, I remember told us, she was like, no, what I do is I get the hand soap and I do two pumps into the loo or a pump into the loo. Then I bed the loo with them. This is, I mean textbook, bed the loo with the obvious loo. We're on the tap, feet on the bin, off we go. That's the problem. It's like the stage, right? And then you're like, I need to, it's in there, but I can't get out. And then you don't want to noise to happen because when you're clenching, then sometimes,
Anyway, I've never really, I've always been so lucky in timings for me. Thank God. Throughout the start, my relationship always worked out perfectly. I've never had a BB. But you know what breaks the ice because normally the guys normally just do that for you by like, quite early on by being like,
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, yeah, but that doesn't break the eyes for me. So I'm like, okay, we'll- Still, I never put- Yeah. That's like what I want his perception to have been and start, which is God, those days have really long gone for me because Jamie just makes how that I poo at every sin. I don't know why. I don't know why. It's like, he thinks it's so funny. I'm like, it's not. It's the most- He's sabotaging me for the fact that if we ever get divorced, he's like, you'll never get a boy again. Yeah, I'm so get it. Do you ever have these conversations? Jamie, I'm like,
this is one of these things that like if we break up like you're bitch about like oh yeah you know what she was actually such a control freak with food and like she made me eat everything organic and like it was really annoying i always have those conversations with him i'm like this is so one of the things like if we break up you'll be like you know what she was just such a control freak in the kitchen anyway like really didn't need that my life just but actually bro
Mantle. Yeah. You know, she was mental. I can bet you. I always say, if he ever says that about us, I'm like, shut the fuck up. No, they weren't. I like get so defensive about them. Cause I'm like, I know you're fucking going to say that about me one day. But I so know what you mean. I have this competition to eat all the time. Oh, love Island. Oh, love Island. Sorry guys. Okay. Love Island. I haven't been watching it yet. Tell me, give me a debrief. Sometimes I just think like,
of these words actually coming out of their mouth, like, I don't need it. No, I just like, I feel really bad. Don't come for me, everyone. Like Curtis Rich, I was really sweet, but like the chat is like, is it quite questionable? Not enough. Like they get together and he's like, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, if someone said that to me, I'd be like, uh, like, how are people? How are people? Like, how is he on a TV show that he's like, who's allowing him to speak like that?
Hey God, Jess, can we go? Can we go for a chat? No, you asked me for a chat. Can I pull you for a chat? No. Joking, joking. I'm like, oh my God. And then he's like...
You've got nass ass. You're a good girl. Oh my god, this is creepy. And it's just like, it's not my vibe. Oh no, it's not mine. It's just not my vibe. Me and Jamie watching were like, what do you think you'll be like, I'm not Jamie. I think you'd be really good in there. I just, he would love it with me. Like, he'd come along. I like to think I'd be good by probably. Jamie's like, you were just since. It's like, you would literally someone flat with you and you'd be like,
Right, let's cast our own All-Stars. This is quite a fun game. So we're going to go for reality TV, Not Love Island. Let's go for the OG, like the anywhere that's sex being chosen. Okay, right, okay, okay. Maybe Big Brother. I can't remember anyone from Big Brother. Pete works. Yeah, 100%. Joey Essex, oh, he's already done it.
Yeah, because he's quite iconic in terms of reality TV. Maybe just throw him back in the maze. Miles, because he's good at flirting. Yeah, you've just picked all boys what the fuck's that about? Right, I'll go for the girls then for each. Lucy Watson. Don't get up in my grill.
OK, sorry, are we going? I'm picturing them now going in. I'm like, she's mum with two kids. I can't put envision it. No, there's an all-stars moment, OK? Everyone's single again from those eras, and they're all going to be thrown back into an all-stars moment. OK, right then. It's Spence Matthews. It's Jamie.
I think we need many Mac in there. We need Louis Johnson. Oh fuck yeah, we need Louis Johnson. We need old-time mainland Chelsea. Just bring back the whole class of series two. Yeah, series two was iconic. Just bring back series two of mainland Chelsea. That's all we need really. Right, enough of this love island chat. Let's get back to what we're good at. Die Lamas.
Hi Wednesday's listeners, it's me, Paloma Faith. So sorry to interrupt, but I've got a new podcast coming out. I just had to squeeze in obtrusively and let you all know.
I've been called mad and bad my whole life. I've also had some real moments of sad, so I decided to make a podcast. This series I'll be speaking to my favourite actors, comedians, musicians and thinkers to find out what makes them mad. And I turned over the page and I cut off a wedge of my pewds and I saluted them.
I just don't know. But it is mad and it's so wonderful though. It's sad. I love being sad. Is that getting in a warm bath? And bad. Who does this? I got in trouble, but I didn't really get in trouble because my mom was just like, you need help.
And just so it's not too depressing, we all know there's so much of that in this world. What makes them glad? Does it have to be something that rhymes with the word glad? No? OK, fine. It's just I've got mad bad sad. Yeah, fine. I'm glad I'm getting older. I'm so lucky to be getting older and I'm glad that I'm enjoying it. You can follow Mad Sad and Bad with Paloma Faith on your favourite podcast app and search for Mad Sad and Bad Podcast to follow on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok.
out now. This is like free therapy for you today.
I went through a tough breakup last year with my boyfriend of almost four years. My best friend knows all about it and how hard it's been on me. But lately, she's not been exactly a girl's girl. Two months after our breakup, my ex started seeing someone new. My friend was the one to tell me and she didn't hold back on going on about how amazing cool and the supermodel. What the fuck? And supermodel beautiful, this new girl is even when she knew how low I've been feeling. Sorry.
I know she's talking about herself. A few months ago, my ex and I started talking again and he had me thinking that there might be a chance for us giving it another go. I was really vulnerable with him and told him I wanted to get back together. So he said that we should take a week and reflect on why we broke up and meet for a walk. During this reflection week, my friend tells me that my ex is still dating this other girl. Again, she brought up how beautiful and incredible this girl was in a way that really felt hurtful. Sorry. How does your friend know all this information for a start?
Why are your friends saying that? I've never really are. It's like so savage. But here's the dilemma. My friend is turning 30 and invited me to a big birthday party and on the gas list, on my ex and his new girlfriend. The thing is, she doesn't even know this new girl well. They're not friends or anything. She doesn't mention any of this to me directly, despite claiming she cares about me and knows how painful all this has been.
So do I go to her party? Am I being overly sensitive here? Or is it this situation actually very weird? Okay. You go to that party. Otherwise you will lose out. You are just going to scoot yourself. You're going to think that your ex, your friend's going to be like, Oh my God, realize what she's done.
she won't she obviously she's doing what she's doing about this i think unless like she has zero social skills there's no way in hell i would be like by the way i did tobi's acts it's really gorgeous like you'd be like chairs i know i mean tobi break up and then he gets in your girlfriend and you're like no no no she's next i will see her model
Even if she was, I'd be like, she's nothing on you. You would just lie. It's bizarre. That is horrific. I agree with you. Definitely go to the party. This is how we navigate this. Yeah, go on. This is like a perfect plot. So you need to try and get into the mindset of feeling yourself, feel your best, feel like, right, this is an opportunity. This is the revenge party. Get a banging dress that you feel really confident in.
Spend some time doing your hair and makeup. Don't try too hard. Look like you, but just feel great. Try and feel your most confident. I know that's easily said and done, but like really just lean into that. After the party's been in gone, you can, I would genuinely sit down with the friend and be like, I'm not sure what the fuck you're trying to do here.
But you're not being my friend by doing this. If you don't even know her, why the fuck she invited for a start and why are you ramming it down my throat that she's a supermodel and she's this and she's that. It's just not something you do. I would never do that to you. A hundred percent. And just see what she says. You just have to be quite honest. Like.
And in terms of at the party, I feel like if you can handle your drink fine, but like if you're, you're like, don't get drunk, you're going to start crying. And then honestly, that's the worst thing to do. No, we don't do that. You want to go. I would walk in with another friend or a group of friends. I'd go for a drink before, maybe turn up like an hourly, like, you know, middle finger to turn up an hourly, go there, have the best time. Don't really speak to her. I wouldn't personally like the friend. I'd be like, hi, happy birthday.
You're going there to prove it's like stand your ground and like for some reason she's always trying to like kick you out the front. You're not going to, sorry, we're not going to allow you to miss out on any fun, any social fun time that you deserve to be there more than anyone else does more than this fucking new girlfriend. Like the whole thing is really strange.
And what I would do is I would just, you don't have to go over to your ex and say hi. Like, if he comes over to you, hi, how are you? You don't. It's weird to say hi to the girlfriend. Like, you can swell in, like, as a passing. If she comes over and introduces herself, fine. Be like, oh my God, so nice to meet you and be like cute. You look really cute. But you don't have to like slightly.
A compliment. We don't want to be moved up because she's not done anything wrong, I think. No, but in front of him, because he is doing something wrong, like giving you a chance of thinking, we're going to get back together going on a walk with you, X, Y and Z. So when you meet the new girlfriend in front of him, be like, hi, so are you guys together?
Really? That's cute. Something like that. I would give a word because then you're... No, I think you need to do something. It's really unfair of him believing how wrong and you. So there needs to be something said. I would go in. I'm really getting my thinking cap on. I would go in. I'd look fucking hot shit as hot shit as I can. Yeah. I'd walk in with my friend. I'd go for like a drink with her for an hour with you.
Yeah, Amy, we're going to have the best time. He's probably going to come up to you or like you're going to be near him. I would like avoid eye contact with him until like an hour in, gauge the vibe. You're then going to bump into him and be like, oh my God, hi. See the girlfriend. Make sure he sees you. See the girlfriend. You're going to see the situation. And then I would genuinely just never speak to you again. That would be me. There's two elements to this. There's your friend being a cow. And then there's your ex leading you on and his new girlfriend on, which is my friend. Frankly, I don't think I'd ever forgive that friend.
I can't imagine fucking with anyone I know who I last as a friend even saying anything remotely like to me that's just you're saying stuff is one thing but then inviting her to the party is quite something Melissa actually think of any of your friends being like she's a super I would like genuinely crumb I would at the time be like all right fucking oh wait to bring you down knock knock someone when they're down do you know what I mean I would say that me too.
don't be shy of stick up for yourself because it's just not it's not polite. If you do think that just don't say it at all be like honestly like if he's moving on you need to move on to like you can prop someone up in another way you don't even need to comment on what they look like you don't need to bring another person down by being like she's so ugly like that doesn't need to be said obviously but she can just be like honestly you're better off without him. Yeah.
There's so many other things you can say to help your friend. I really just want to mull over and envision someone saying that to me, I would honestly be like, oh my God, thanks, you fucking bitch. I would bring it up with the friend after the party. Don't cause a thing at the party because the last thing you want is that friend then going to Iraq's being like, God, I was just complimenting Rosie and, you know, Katrina was jumping down the x the whole time. Oh, yeah, there seems to be a bit of a weird thing going on. I think she's jealous to be more. Yeah, me too.
Because she's not hating on you. She's just trying to make you feel like shit, which is really strange thing for a friend to do. So I would ask the party be like, I'm not sure what the fuck's going on and what you're trying to do to me or make me feel like, but you're making me feel like shit. And you're obviously trying to do it on purpose because you've done it three times by saying that she's a supermodel. And now you've invited her to your party. You don't even know her. Are you trying to make me feel uncomfortable? I should be your priority. Like I would never do that to you.
You're going to be amazing and you are so much better than this stinking ex with this new stinking girlfriend. So just go in there, hold your head up high, know your wath and remember what we told you. Yeah, please keep us updated. Also, if you have any photos of your outfit or anything, you're going to wear this party. Send them in. Ready for dynamic too? Yeah. I'm day two into traveling on my gap year. I'm already feeling so many different emotions. I keep going from being excited and entertained to terrified homesick and wanting to come back home to the UK.
I know it's early days, but I feel like my friend is already getting annoyed with me. This is my first ever trip on my own, and I was wondering if you had any advice on how to maintain a healthy friendship, especially considering that we're going to be spending every single second together for the next few months. Thank you guys.
This is a very sweet little dilemma. Oh my God, this is so sweet. It's actually so similar to me. I got really, I got really homesick when I was traveling and actually me and my three friends, I went with two other friends and we all got really homesick and we like put so much pressure on ourselves. Like we were like, we're having fun this time ever that we all like kind of ended up falling out in a weird way.
I think just like be so easy on yourself. Like I look back and I'm like, why was I so like, I could have just, I put so much pressure on myself to have the best time. So I was like, it's my gap here. I'm traveling. I've got to have fun and party and like meet loads of fit boys. Like just don't just like the last pressure you're going to have a way more fun. And actually the fact like the minute you say to yourself, Oh my God, I can just pick a flight and go home tomorrow. Then you're going to enjoy it. And then you won't want to go. And when I had that mentality, I was like, actually, I want to save from that some extra month.
Just don't allow yourself to get in on your friend she should surely shouldn't then wouldn't get in on with you. I think it's when bizarre tensions rise, you know, when someone's irritating you, then you irritate them and it's like this weird energy. You just got to be like.
just so go with the flow, so relaxed. Also, go off and have your own time because like traveling with somebody like it's a lot like no and it doesn't mean you guys aren't my best friends. Just like being with somebody for three months in an episode so much or both. She also will be feeding those things. She also will have so much fun if I run traveling.
We should do it. We would have the best fucking. I know. Now I look back and I'm like, God, to be fair, I did give it back. Now when you're older, it would be so good. No, we must. We'll do it when our kids will. Yeah, we will. When our kids grow up and go to university off, we go Thailand like 50 years. I used to go on really long beach walks. I would go on really long beach walks. Also, I went to the gym. My other friend didn't. That's a nice time apart. Also, like,
got another thing who go off and FaceTime your other friends, go off and FaceTime your other family. It just takes you out of like that bubble. Okay, that intense scenario. Yeah. That's a good tip. I'm just trying to think the closest I've ever had to like traveling with friends is like, well, we've done a meeting in Chelsea trip or like when I've gone home with my girlfriends, but I've never been away for that stint of time. However, I have been obviously a boarding school where like I share a room with them. I do class with them. I eat with them.
Do you have anything with them? There's so many of them. I think it's when there's like only three of you. Like we've made in Chelsea, there's so many of us, but even then we all were so on top of each other. I know. It's really, I do get it. It's tough and you will, I think you'll almost break that barrier of like feeling like you're irritated with each other and then it will just become routine. I think you'll be surprised how quickly that changes.
Also, don't be worried to be irritated. I'm sure I did have tips with my friends, but they're literally like my sisters now. It won't break you up. It will only make you stronger, even if you're up the time and hate them. You're not going to forever. You'll just get closer. Also, once you have a few fun times with one another, also imagine you're going to meet quite a lot of other people. That's key. That's key.
Um, I'm really excited for you. I so get the nerves and I so get the anticipation and not wanting to like ruin the friendship. But I think just have the mindset that you, so you said like you're definitely just not going to like you might get annoyed with each other every now and then that's okay. Like don't worry. Do put, put your headphones in, listen to a podcast and then have a, have a nap on the bus or whatever. Yeah.
And you'll be fine with it. And also what I would say is, if you are having tips and arguments, don't be the one that's stubborn. There's normally always one that's stubborn. Just be like, so sorry, I love you so much. Obviously, didn't mean that. Let's have the best time tonight. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Just break it by not being the stubborn one, breaking down that barrier. Just be the easy going, like, oh, you know what? So sorry. Really, obviously, love you so much. Like, let's go and do something fun tonight.
Just do that if I can give you any advice. And sometimes if you are the someone that's really difficult, but I think it's important to have one person that can do that. Because otherwise you'll go on for a while and it's a waste of time. Also, you'll end up, if you're having a bit of an awkward day or you're both in a bit of a mood with each other, like you'll meet someone in a hostel, you'll end up going out tonight, you'll have a couple of drinks and you'll end up having a fun time. You don't overthink it. Agree. You know what I mean? I'm really excited to see you. Me too. It's such a fun time.
I think you're going to have the best time. And as we said, you're only dating. You've caught your going to be dating. You're quite jarring. You're like, well, right? Because it's not what you expect. You think you're going to go and it's like the movies and like you're with all these like surfer dudes in like these cool hostels and everyone's drinking. It's not like the reality is sometimes like you get there and like there's an old man in the corner and like, you're like, what the fuck? I'm like, you get put in a room and there's like two old men in there. Really? God, that's quite skilled.
So like just know that you're going to have peaks and troughs just so you would a normal life. If any of you have any stories, even if it's just something like I'm day three or two weeks into traveling, having the best time, please tell us. Please tell us. In Costa Rica, like on a beach, sound amazing. Absolutely. Give us some updates on traveling. I'd love because I've never done it. I know we must go. My dad wouldn't let me. I wanted to do like South America and he was like, you will get kidnapped. That's where I went. I know my dad was really scared. I had a rainbow. I was not. I was not allowed to go.
It was really scary. They used to be like men with guns and they would just put us over them the night. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, all the time. They would get all the boys. They'd be like, give us your money. I'd have to have an assistant agent with me. I would not be able to go unless I had that. It's really fun. We went to Pablo Escobar's.
house his old house. I also when I met this guy on the beach he was like really quite stunning but he was like grey hair and old and he told me that he used to model what I know he really took liking to me and I'll never forget I knew actually guys really hard so I had like really I don't shave like the top of my legs right any of the do I
And they were like blonde tags, I was really tan like, but they looked like Harry because they were like blonde, you know, I know exactly the type of skin. And he sat down on an unforgettable look to my neck. And he was like, he was talking about what he likes and go, he was like, I love Harry bags. And me and my friend were howling. And he told us, like, all these stories with Kate Monster, Johnny Dair.
Oh, quite cool. Yeah, he used to be a model with them. Like, you really meet, like, rogue people and you try to make his go and do your ayahuasca with them. And at that time, I didn't know what it was. I was like, yeah, I will. And then I called my mum. My mum was like, don't do that. No, you won't. That's a drug. Like, no. Oh, my God. It's quite scary because you're so young and you're sort of going out in the world. I guess.
Learn about all these things and just get experience of life and culture and blah blah blah. But you could easily get led astray. Oh my God, you've got to keep your wits about you guys. Please make sure to stay safe guys. I feel like kids these days have their wits about them. They're way more like savvy than we were. Yeah, I agree. Stay safe. Keep your phone on you like all the time. And keep next to your friends. Yeah. Be sensible. Love you. Hope you're having the best time and enjoy it. Right. Don't lie, I'm a three.
Hi girls, here's my daylama. My boyfriend is constantly tired and we go, it sounds like me. Honestly safe becomes an everyday. I just don't feel quite right. Again today. I was like, oh. I think I'm allergic to my makeup. That's what it is. When I don't wear makeup, I feel completely fine. The minute I do the podcast, I wear makeup and I'm like, I don't feel right. Yeah, I know. Whenever we meet up without fail, he'll let me know how he's, he'll let me know he's wrecked. I'm let out a sigh. Oh, boring. I'm wrecked. I know like this.
Oh, yes. Oh, God, how on attractive. If we put on a movie, he's asleep in the first 10 minutes of what he's got chronic fatigue, so I thought you quality time. So I find it rude how he'll come over and just be asleep. No, I'm sorry. That's such an ache for me. I feel like I'm not spending any proper time with him. No, what the fuck? Wake up. I agree. I decided to bring this up to him and said I would prefer if he gets some proper rest before meeting him.
Yeah, fair enough. And instead I could spend time with my friends and said, oh, you're so great. Yeah, I don't want to feel like I'm nagging him because that's not what it is. It comes from a piece of love. The last time I was with him, he said, please don't be annoyed, but I'm right.
What's that? I was falling asleep right then. Sorry, I would dump him on the fucking spot. This is so wicked. Please, he's terrified. He's like, fuck me down in the coffin before he meets her. And he's like, I'm still so tired. He's like, I'm freaking out.
Please, when of the day, we know that I'm right! You know what I will hold on to?
Oh my god. I'm so sorry for that. I know exactly what it would be like you'd be like and then he's asleep. Because what do I do because it's putting me off on to spend time with him because he's always asleep. Why is this going on? I don't think I'm freezing when I say it's not a one something.
I feel, I'm so sorry we don't mean to laugh. I don't mean to laugh. It's not you. It's the fact your boyfriend's falling asleep all the time. I don't know why it's killing me. Why is that so funny? It's a picture of you coming in behind me. She's coming. She's close to me. She's so excited. He comes in. Oh, right. Please don't be angry.
Right. I think he's obviously got low iron. I think you might have Candida over great. I think he's got chronic fatigue. Oh my god. He's got chronic fatigue. Is that from Candida? Great. You can get. No, I think you can just get tired from Candida because it can just exhaust you. But oh my god. No, he's got something. That's not right.
Okay, there's obviously, I genuinely, not to be, there's a health problem. This isn't normal. This is not normal to be this tired all the time. Unless he's got like a night job and he's like watching porn all night long.
I feel like she would have made me. Like, if she would have touched on the fact that he's like a shift worker, surely. I feel like he's got a problem. Unless soviet is right and he's got like a wanker. You know what he could be doing? A wanker issue. Well, he's addicted to Brian or something. I don't know.
I do think this is going back to like Melissa's health thing. I do think that a lot of these people are eating so much processed food that they like, they're just so tired every day. Like they're just, they're, they're right. They're right. Please hope it's the, please hope we can get the rest. It's such an old man thing to say. It's like my dad. I'm wrecked. I know it really is. Oh, I'm knackered. Oh my God. Oh God.
Tell him, go and get your iron checked. He must go to the doctor. I think he's got a wee bit of the old chronic fatigue. You know what I actually have that's like dormant? Is that horrible thing? What is it that makes you have chronic fatigue? Glancin' a fever? Do you have glancin' a fever? Apparently I do. I had a blood test there. Like, you've got glancin'.
Got the gland. You got that from kissing somebody. No, it's in like people joke about it that it's the kissing disease because it's like anything you can catch from someone if they're like, really, if they've like got a flare up of it. I don't remember any time in my life where I was like, that exists. Really? No, but you must have been brilliant. Like people getting put in a hospital. My, I got in a school, her Gantra fever. She was off school for honestly six months. I know people get off school for a year. Yeah, it was awful.
I know, I think he's got granted a fever. Yeah, he might have a bit of the gland, which then can lead to chronic fatigue. He has chronic fatigue. Like that poor boy, that is a problem. It's a problem. It used to fall asleep. Yeah, I know, maybe that was it. Like, god, Melissa, that was it. It used to be like, I used to fall asleep. I would genuinely have a nap for four hours every day, and I would be going to bed at like 10 p.m. and waking up at like eight. I was having so much sleep. It was not normal. Wait, what was this at school? How were you? No, at school, I would fall asleep all the time in class.
But then this is what, yeah, genuinely to the point where they, they, the teachers called my mum, they're like, you need to take it to the doctor because she keeps falling asleep. So you're a glandular fever, why didn't they test you for us? You'll see too, because I wasn't ill. No, I didn't feel unwell and I wasn't like, I could like get off a girl's stage playground. What stage were you falling asleep for four hours? Like when do you... That's when I lived in London. That's when I was like 19.
18. Generally, when you come back for quests and you'd have a nap for us till they went out on that. The way that I was cured from all this is after I did the pepper thing and I did all these pepper tests and I had loads of candida overgrowth and these other things. I'm covered in candida growth growth, I just know it. How do I get rid of that? No sugar. They give you like a supplement and diet protocol. It's not that difficult to be fair. Anyway, obviously he's got a health issue. We're not doctors, but that is my suspicion. You know what an easy fix just to just give it a go is that you can get iron drops
You know, good ones. I'm getting some vitamin D. None of us getting enough vitamin D. Paper Campbell doesn't really give vitamin D some lemon with K2, which means you can absorb it easily. Some steak and some spinach. Yeah, make sure he's got some good iron. What was he drinking? And I was having like rebels all bit.
because then he's going to be falling asleep and crashing. There's a lot of things it could be that he obviously needs to like figure out because I'm sure he doesn't enjoy being this fucking tired all the time. He's wasting away his evenings, wasting his time with you and he might lose you over it. I think you also need to evaluate. Okay, fine. If this doesn't get solved, is this going to carry on for the rest of our relationship? Am I okay with that?
And you need to maybe explain that to him, be like, look, if you're willing to figure out what's going on and make an effort to fix this, so we can spend some time together, because I'm just literally coming over for you to nap on me. That's not fun. Please tell us what happens. I'm sorry for laughing. I don't know why it really got asked, poor boy. It's not funny. It's not funny at all. Sending them. Love you.
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