Hello, and welcome to the New Mindset Who Does Podcast. My name is Casey Kenney at Case.Kenney.i. Instagram, and this is my weekly podcast where I create short, no BS episodes dedicated to helping you become the person you're meant to be. Leave your comfort zone and live a purposeful and fulfilling life. Let's go.
All right, welcome to episode 652. Hello, my friend. Welcome to a fresh new episode of New Mindset, who does as always. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for supporting me. And today, I want to talk about how to be genuinely happy in life.
I want to talk about that idea through the lens of being present in your life. And I know that on the surface, the topic of how to be present, it's not the most sexy of topic, but I think we have the ability to be more present in our lives today, to actually enjoy what we have today and who we are today and to find power and genuine joy in that.
such that we don't look back and realize, oh shit, I didn't live when I was young. Truly, I'm 36 and I feel like most people in their mid-30s or approaching their 40s or 40 and beyond, the potential regret that we all share is the same. I wish I enjoyed XYZ more. I wish I enjoyed my 20s more. I wish I enjoyed my single years more, my first years working more, my freedom and youth more.
the freedom I had more, my young body more, whatever it is, right? I think we could all relate to this in some regard. So I want to do an episode talking about how to enjoy life when we have it, when we're young, as we have the things we have today. And the big takeaway for this episode will be borrowed from Emily Dickinson, who said in one of her poems, she said, forever is composed of nows, forever is composed of nows.
If that's not tattoo where the I don't know what is, I love it. I love a good short quote, forever is composed of nows. So let's talk about this, because I think frankly, we've all been sold a bit of a lie about what it means to be present or rather a bit of a lie when it comes to why we're not present, right? Like most people, the internet, the gurus, our parents,
They say, well, it's our phones, it's our schedules, it's our go-go-go lifestyle, it's social media, it's our obsession with being productive that keeps us from being present in the moment. But I think that's just a scapegoat answer. I think the real problem is
Most of us are not drawn to the present moment because the present moment isn't clamorous enough for our ego. Think about it. We're not running from the present because we're just distracted. We're running from it because it's not quite spicy enough, juicy enough for us.
The present is not where we get our revenge and we're living our best lives. That's the future. That's after we grind a bit harder. We hit the gym a bit more. We lose those pounds. We rack up some credit card points and take that trip. That's after the bullshit, the monotony of the present. That's after the grind. That's after the healing.
We're on the other hand, the present is after the glory days of what we had, the nostalgia of the past, the simpler times, our amazing wild college days, our young wild and free days. I could go out until 4am, 3 nights a week and do it again days.
If those are the three options we have past present future, I get it. The present is relatively boring. It's relatively unsexy. And so the result is the present is the time we treat as a bit of a means to an end, a means to an end, a transitional time and in between time and life that
we use and we see as this time to regroup or to build bigger or to heal or to, you know, just prepare for better days, to prepare for our sexy days, our best days to prepare for the good part. Right? Like, be real. I really relate to this. I think collectively we are so focused on building and elevating and upgrading that we tend to see today as just a means to an end to do that.
And when that's the case, yeah, it's like, it's no wonder we're not really incentivized to be present within today, because we're holding on to that presence for a later date. We're like storing it up. We're storing it up for a time when we've accomplished something big, or we're finally with someone, or we've healed enough, whatever it is. I think the key to being present, the key to embracing the idea that forever is composed of nows, is to break free of this means to an end mentality.
The present is not a means to an end because there is no end in the way that I think we kind of imagine it. We act as if life is this linear path with milestones and destinations that they build and build and build in such a way that they will finally eventually make everything worthwhile. And when we have that big pile of things, we can sit back and relax and be present within them. When we have the promotion and the relationship in the house and the dream version of ourselves, that's
In the future, we think that having that thing or those things, oh yeah, then I'll be present because it'll be fine. I'll be incentivized to be present. But the truth is, in my experience, there's no finish line. There's no finish line when like, quote, life is complete and you can just relax. When you reach that goal,
What happens next? You replace it with another goal or another task or another pursuit or another next. So the present isn't something you chase. It's something you live. It's the only thing that doesn't require next. It's the only thing that doesn't require fixing or waiting.
It's already whole, and it's already here, and it's waiting to be embraced. Life doesn't operate in ends. It operates in moments. So I think the key to this is let's reframe the idea of time. Life doesn't operate in ends. It operates in moments.
Every end we think that we're working toward, whether it's success or happiness or love, that thing, think about it, that thing can only be experienced in the present moment. Let's say you're working really hard for some future moment of joy and you finally get it.
That joy doesn't exist in the future. It exists in the specific present moment. The same goes for connection or fulfillment or success or peace. None of those things are waiting for you in some distant place. They're only possible in the time and space you're in. So if you spend the present treating it like some stepping stone every single time, you're missing the very thing you're hoping to find at the end of that effort.
So with that logic then, the present is the purpose. The present is the purpose because it's truly logically the only time when you're actually alive. The past only exists in memory. The future only exists in imagination. I'm just thinking logically here within the confines of logic.
Neither past nor future are real in the sense that you can't touch them. You can't breathe them. You can't live them. But today the now, the now is where you're alive. It's where your body exists. It's where your choices are made. It's where your emotions are are real and they rise and they fall where your senses are alive.
If the present isn't the purpose, then why is it the only thing that we can actually feel? The present isn't just a bridge to something better. It is life itself. And I think this idea can scare us in a sense because we don't want to believe that this moment is enough because our ego kind of resists this. This is an ego thing. The present feels boring. It feels ordinary. It feels small.
And that's our ego and overdrive. We've been trained to think that meaning, fulfillment, joy, success, love is out there. It's waiting for us. It's waiting for us to grab it and obtain it. But I think that's a bit of the lie. Like, of course, work hard and work for better future days, of course, but the meaning that you're looking for, it isn't in the next moments. In the next moment, it's in how deeply you can experience this moment.
Right? Just the way the sun feels on your skin, the words that you can speak to a friend or someone you love, these are not pit stops on the way to the main event. They are the main event. If you're always waiting for something bigger or a reason to be present, I think you're going to wait a good portion of your life just waiting. The purpose of life isn't some destination. It is the collection of today. It is the collection of nouns that you allow yourself to experience.
The now. The now isn't here to get you somewhere better. The present isn't here to get you somewhere better. It's not a tool. It's not a transaction. It's the entire point. I really believe this. Everything that we hope for because we're human, whether it's happiness or fulfillment or love or just peace, those things only exist when you fully inhabit the moment.
The present isn't asking you to wait for meaning. It's offering it to you by being there for you, by being present in it with your body. You don't have to chase it. You just have to be here. And this is where Emily Dickinson's quote makes a lot of sense for me. Forever is composed of now's forever, forever. What a big concept.
Forever isn't some sweeping romantic concept that's written about your future moments. It's the aggregate of the tiny, boring, unpolished moments that are happening right now. The ones, frankly, that we tend to ignore because they're not sexy.
Forever isn't the epic love story or the Forbes success story. It's the quiet mornings, it's the awkward silences, it's the mundane conversations. I think if you want a big life, we have to learn to show up for the small moments. If you want a big life show up for the small moments, that's the idea. And even, you know, I was thinking about doing this episode and I was on TikTok and I saw this video of a daughter with her father on a cruise.
And her dad is this like, cool older guy, you know, he's in his 50s. He's a cool blue collar guy. He's got some kind of background in being a contractor or construction or something. And he's basically walking around the cruise ship and just being a dude, being a guy, being a dad. And he's just like kind of stream of consciousness, giving his thoughts on various pieces of construction of like how the boat was built. Like the bolts of the glass or the material of the iron or the door hinges or whatever.
and he's going up to each and everything, and he's looking real close, and he's turning back to his daughter, and he's like, yeah, this is a quadrant steel, or, yeah, this is such a such type of rubber, and that's a good welding job right there. And I watched that, and I just, you know, I thought that was such a beautiful image of being present, like literally present in the material of the ship. And I don't know, I just thought that was cool, a way that he has drawn to the present, in the present, dramatically in the present.
But again, again, this is how different we think. This is how different we visualize life. The present isn't sexy. That's not very sexy. You're talking about iron and welding jobs, but we need to realize that, yeah, sure, unlike the past that holds nostalgia, powerful feelings like nostalgia in the future that
allegedly holds all of our hopes and dreams in better days, the present doesn't do that. And it doesn't really owe us anything. It's not here to entertain us. It's not here to stroke our ego. But it's not a means to an end. It's not a waiting room for something better. It is the main stage. It is the main stage, the headlining slot at Coachella.
And it's not just waiting around for us to notice. We have to notice it ourselves. We keep thinking that someday we'll be happier and that day will arrive and then we'll be present. But that's just a lie that we keep telling ourselves to justify missing out on today. The now, the now that Emily Dickinson referred to is the only thing we have. And if we're too busy fantasizing about the future or obsessing over the past, we're ignoring this completely.
Being present isn't about stopping everything and no longer working hard and just being like, eh, whatever. It is about doing all those things, working your ass off, striving to be better, yes. But it's about sitting and breathing deeply in the moment. Absolutely. It's about staring at a tree. It's about waking up to the reality that the moment we're in is the only moment that technically is real.
The past is a story that you've likely edited a thousand times. The future is a collection of hopes and dreams and guesses. When you stop glorifying what was and fantasizing about what is, what will be, I mean, you realize that the present is the only thing that matters. It's imperfect, it's unpolished, it's unsexy, but that's what makes it beautiful.
It's not asking to be fixed, it's asking to be lived. So that's the mindset. If forever is composed of now's, love the quote, stop treating now like it's an inconvenience. Let it surprise you. Let it make you emotional. Let it teach you something. Be bold enough to stop chasing the life you think you should have and start living the one you're in. Work hard, strive for more, yes, but live in the present moment.
The truth is, I think a lot of people waste their lives chasing and chasing and chasing, and they waste it waiting for their life to finally feel significant, in a sense, to be worthy of living forever as composed of now, so live in the present moment.
So that's it. Basically a message that I'm telling myself, encouraging myself to live in the present, hopefully strikes a chord with you. If this episode was helpful, I'd be so grateful if you'd share the podcast with a friend, just send them the link to Apple Podcast or the Spotify. Thank you so much for doing that. And as always, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for supporting me. And until next episode, I'm out.
