65. Telling The Truth About Your Lies with Lauren Zander
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December 10, 2024
TLDR: Lauren Zander shares her methodology for uncovering and addressing self-deception, offering a path to truth-telling, greater integrity, fulfillment, and manifestation. Topics include seven types of lies, truth's impact on personal growth, designing your dream life, and navigating hard conversations with love.

In episode 65 of the podcast "Why Isn’t Everyone Doing This?" hosted by Emily Fletcher, life coach and co-founder of the Handel Group, Lauren Zander discusses the profound effects of honesty on personal growth and fulfillment. This engaging episode highlights the significance of the truths we reveal - to ourselves and others - and offers strategies for confronting the lies that hinder our potential.
Understanding Lies: A Happiness Issue
Lauren Zander emphasizes that lying is not merely a moral failing but rather a barrier to happiness. She encourages awareness of the various lies we tell ourselves—often rooted in fear of discomfort or upsetting others. Lauren’s approach to personal integrity revolves around radical honesty, which she believes is crucial for achieving greater fulfillment in life.
The Seven Types of Lies We Tell
Zander identifies seven fundamental forms of lying that block happiness and fulfillment. Here’s a brief overview:
- Social Grease: These are small white lies meant to spare feelings. For example, telling someone they look great when you think otherwise.
- Misrepresentations: When people embellish their experiences to impress others, such as claiming to have enjoyed a book they haven’t read.
- Exaggerations: Overstating accomplishments or relationships, like inflating how well we performed on a project.
- Under Exaggerations: Downplaying successes to avoid jealousy or obligation.
- Bold Lies: Clear and direct falsehoods that people knowingly spread.
- Withholding Information: Not disclosing pertinent information that could alter someone’s perspective.
- Secrets: Personal truths kept hidden from even loved ones, which can accumulate shame and hinder personal connection.
The Power of Radical Honesty
Lauren presents radical honesty as a tool for transformation. By telling the truth, individuals can unleash their potential and manifest their dreams. Facing fears and engaging in difficult conversations can lead to significant breakthroughs in relationships and self-perception.
Manifesting Your Dreams
The connection between truth-telling and manifestation is vital. Lauren argues that once individuals acknowledge their true desires and the lies preventing their attainment, they can take actionable steps towards achieving their dreams. This process involves drafting a vision for the future and confronting any beliefs that hold them back.
Practical Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations
Lauren provides insightful strategies for having tough discussions with honesty:
- Purge Your Thoughts: Start by writing down everything that bothers you or that you’ve felt compelled to hide.
- Identify Core Issues: Determine the main complaints or feelings that need to be addressed.
- Focus on Intentions: Approach conversations with the goal of strengthening connections, rather than assigning blame.
- Ask for Feedback: Use reflective listening by summarizing what you’ve heard from the other person to ensure understanding and clarity.
Embracing Your True Self
Ultimately, Lauren helps listeners understand the significance of being authentic and true to oneself. The episode lends itself to a larger conversation about the importance of self-awareness and integrity in cultivating happiness and achieving dreams.
Key Takeaways:
- Awareness of Lies: Understanding the various forms of lies can shed light on personal barriers to happiness.
- Courageous Conversations: Engaging in difficult talks can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.
- Dream-Driven Living: Manifestation starts by knowing what you truly want and cleaning up the lies that block these desires.
- Promises and Integrity: Keeping promises to yourself is essential for personal integrity and accountability.
Conclusion
This episode with Lauren Zander serves as a powerful reminder of the essential role honesty plays in leading a fulfilling life. By recognizing the lies we tell ourselves and developing the courage to confront them, we open the door to personal transformation and the manifestation of our deepest dreams.
This insightful discussion gives listeners practical tools for embracing their authenticity and creating the life they desire.
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Sweet friends, welcome to a very special episode of why isn't everyone doing this? The show brought to you by Ziva Meditation and Ziva Magic. I am your host, Emily Fletcher, Broadway performer, turned meditation teacher, turned magic maker, and I am so delighted to share this show with you so that we can help solve the challenges that we're facing as a species and have a great time doing it.
So today's episode we are talking about why isn't everyone telling the truth about their lies. And this is with my very first coach Lauren Zander. So she is the founder and CEO of the Handel group and I would say a pioneer in the life coaching space. Her methodologies have been taught
at MIT, at Princeton Business School, in New York City Public Schools, and she's taught people like Hugh Jackman, Questlove, and what an amazing spot to know everyone's secrets. And she's really dedicated her life to help eradicate lying, to get people to start telling the truth about their lives.
So in this episode, what I think is so fascinating is that Lauren talks about how the idea of lying is not a morality issue, but rather a happiness issue and how facing our fears of these difficult conversations can lead to outrageous personal transformation. So the trick here is really uncovering the lives that we tell to ourselves, which is something that I'm personally working on and how that can help us to manifest the dreams we didn't even think were possible.
Lauren makes a compelling argument for getting radically honest first with yourself and then everyone around you so that we can manifest the life of our wildest imagination. So please enjoy this episode. Welcome to the show Lauren Zander.
Lauren Zander. Lauren Handel Zander. Yes. What are we going by these days? Lauren Zander. Lauren Zander. Okay. Lauren Zander. Okay. I like it. You know, I love it. I really do. Good. And so I'm going to do a proper intro, but I just think I want people to really understand like the depth of our relationship and how long we've known each other and how long we work together, but certainly neither one of us remember what year it was. She's goldfish memories.
I want to say it was about 2016 or 17 that we started coaching together. I think it's fun. I want to share our origin story that is I remember it. I remember it too. Well my first one is that we finally I think we had a oh yes okay okay our origin story is I remember it is we met at the club what was the club used to work out of the core club and we had a meeting and it was I think
You were like, okay, tell me about your life. And I was like, this and the other. And you were like, oh no. You're like, don't drive a Ferrari in the city. You said you don't need me right now. It's like, what do you mean? And I remember I went home and I tweeted out. I was like, I think I just got fired from a life coach because my life is too good. That's right. But you were like, do not call me unless you're ready to blow shit up. Like, don't call me unless you're ready to blow your life up. And I was happy with my life at that time. Yes, you really were.
And so then we cut to A-Fest. We both were speaking at an A-Fest with Mindvalley. And then we met up again as friends. And we were just chatting as friends. And next thing I know, my whole life blew up. Next thing I know, we started working together as coaches. And let me be clear.
I started telling the truth more. I started getting honest with myself and others. And it shifted some things, tectonically, in my life. But can you tell me, when did you first discover the power and potency of telling the truth?
So I come from an Orthodox Jewish family with a bunch of kids that lied to their parents and I was the youngest and there was like the ritual of how you lie and get out of the house for the weekend and I was
Set up well for that and the funny thing is I was I had tickets that night to go with my friend Susan To the cure concert in Madison Square Garden. Well and My dad who's reading the New York Times
like, peaks over and he's like, where are you going, kiddo? I'm like, I'm going to Susan's, right? Like, all's good. And then he, I like watched his eyebrow twitch a little, like, sure, sure kid. And I was like, out of my mouth, I said, if you ever want to know what the truth is about where I'm going, as long as you don't stop me, I would much prefer telling you everything, Daddy. Wow. I was 13.
Okay. And what did daddy say about that? My mother was on the bed. She was like, what? Like the time stopped because it had never been done before in my family. And he let me go to the concert. So did he ask? He said, I want to know where you're going? Yeah. He wanted to know. And I'm like, Susan's dad's driving us, right? I was a good girl, right? I wasn't getting myself in trouble, right? But I was sleeping, right? I was going to her house. We were going to Madison Square Garden and we were going to see the concert and we were chaperoned.
This is so fascinating that we found each other because I'm the exact opposite. So my, I have a sister who's seven years older, who's amazing and brave and she told the truth and she would like stand up to my dad and I watched them fight and I was like, oh no. So as a child, I learned like do not tell the truth, just do whatever it takes to keep the peace.
And so like hiding, manipulating the truth, like just telling people what they wanted to hear became a survival mechanism for me. And so I think that's why when we met this medicine was so important and so transformative. And I'm not perfect at it. Like I love what you say. Like everyone is liars, lying is not a morality issue, lying is a happiness issue. And that's something I really want to dive into today that lying is not a morality issue, but a happiness issue.
happiness issue. And I have found that to be true that if I can face my fear and tell the truth, I just get happier and freer. And then life gets easier actually. But it is scary to tell the truth. So why isn't everyone telling the truth? But I normally wait a minute, but I want to start with that. And specifically, why isn't everyone telling the truth about their lies?
So people carry a lot of shame. I want you to like me. I want you to be happy with me, right? So what happens is is people put other people's happiness above their own in their heads. And so if I tell you the truth, you'll be mad at me. Or if I tell you the truth, it won't go my way. And I want everyone to be happy.
So the human thinks that they're doing a good job like it's a virtue to manage the information that's coming out of your mouth. And so you don't realize that yourself, your truth is your higher self. You don't realize that how you really feel what you really want is the true you. And so you really want is the true you.
Yes, that doesn't mean you're always going to get it. Doesn't mean the person you're with is going to give it to you. But you can't negotiate from a place of trying to please or what do you think you can get. And so you're always managing a pretense.
And then that becomes really the sport of being alive in your head. What does that mean, the sport of being alive in your head? So the sport of being alive is that most people can't even tell you what their inner dialogue is saying. Like, can you stop down and tell you what it said today? Like, what is it saying about you? What's it saying about them? What's it saying about life? Right? And you have an inner dialogue and you, it just rolls and rolls and rolls. So the sport about life is you got to hear what it's saying.
You have to know what that voice is saying and even where it comes from and why it's even saying any of that, which is where all the lies on the inside happen and the lies on the outside happen, right? Is all in control center, right? And you have, and so what I do is I have people actually get into how their mind or what you say about everything, right? You, like I, and the whole Handel method is a process of how to get the truth out.
and even sort out your truth. So I like to call that a game. It's so fun that game. You know, it's your spirit, right? It's your soul. And really, I don't start there. I always start with a person's dreams.
We, that's what I was going to say, like, friend of listening to this. And they're like, I don't want to know what I'm saying to myself. I don't want to clean up my lies. I don't even want to know the ways that I'm lying to myself. Like, how would you sell someone in this? And I think the answer you just said is that we first say that, well, this would be the prerequisite to you getting to your dreams. Yes, it is. It really is. If you don't know yourself and you can't be true to yourself, what are you being true to?
Who are you being true for? And then, you know, I have lots of fun words like, oh, you're pleasy. You're pleasing everyone else. And isn't that sleazy of you? Right? Because you don't even know what you think or want. Let alone, you can't do the work to get it.
if you're not true to yourself and you can't get true to yourself if you won't tell the truth. Seems obvious, right? And how does one even know? If you're lying to yourself, how do you find out if you're lying to yourself? Well first, you really actually, we know.
If you start looking at the ways you're excusing things that can happen at the ways you're talking about yourself or others, you know you're keeping secrets. You know you're managing what other people think. All of that is ways that we're lying, right? And so then I start to make categories of ways we lie. Like there's seven main ways we lie.
Right. Let's hear them. Okay. It's always so funny. I have to like remember them. Okay. So social grease is one like white lies. You look great. And then in your head, you're really going
actually gained weight, right? So like, but you'll always social grease, right? Oh, I'm great. This is all the ways we white lie, right? Then there is misrepresentations like, oh, I love that book. I had the best time, right? Where you're saying things to sound cool or to look impressive, even though it's not really true, but no one knows, right? And then we exaggerate.
Oh, I did so well on that deal. Or, oh my God, I, you know, I love that person. You've met them twice. So we exaggerate. We under exaggerate. So you don't want anyone to know how well you're doing because you don't want to get anybody upset. So then you lie the other way like, Oh, yeah, I was I had a good time.
Right. So all of these ways. Um, and then there's the ones we know, which are, um, big bold place, you know, big bold face lies where you're like, I didn't go. Yes, you did. I don't know him. Yes, you do. Right. Like what happened? Right. So there's those. And then there's withholding information. Right.
where you didn't ask, I didn't tell. That's my favorite. That is my favorite. There's yours. And then I had to make a new category. Secrets you're taking to the grave.
Things you think are no one's business on earth, which are the ones where we really carry a lot of shame where those are the ones that are really hurting us. Like, I have coached people where they haven't even told their husband who they love, things that they've been through or have done.
Right. And so, which also keep you connected to your identity, right? Like you think, you know, people hate you or you're not loved. This helps create the imposter syndrome. Everyone's like, where's the imposter syndrome come from? I'm like, all the ways you lie.
And everyone's like, oh, you can't help it. Like it's just the way of the world. And I'm like, no, you can actually stop that. And what have you seen happen in people? Like if it's true that lying is not a morality issue. And I guess of these seven flavors, I guess you could say that like the straight up like bold faced intentional line that that one I think that's what we that's we all call lying societally. And I think we judge that one as morally bad.
Yes. But if we assume that everyone is lying to some degree, kind of all of the time. Sure. I'm going to call myself out on exaggerating in real time, but often we're lying more often than we know. Yes. So if it is true that lying is a happiness issue, meaning that the more you tell the truth, the happier you are. Yes. Can you give us some stories of like your clients or people who you've coached or miracles that you've seen happen or dreams that have come true as a result of specifically cleaning up lies and telling the truth?
Oh my God. So I can think of, you know, so the, so when people write up their dream, so I break life out into 12 different areas and I ask for your vision in each of the 12, right? And then what, and then I ask what's stopping you from having that be true, right? Like please explain why you're at a six, I give you a rating scale and I want to know why you're giving yourself that rating and what do you think is between you and fulfilling on that dream?
And literally what they write is a paragraph of lies. Because the reason you don't have that dream is, it's in there, right? Like everything you're telling yourself. The dream is like where I want to be. Where you wish your life was in your business, in your love life, where you're home, right? And then you really have a dream. People have dreams and you have to articulate your dream. But the minute you tell the dream, every reason that you have, and every way you explain why you can't have that dream,
is real for you, but all of that are actually lies. There are ways you're exaggerating about what you're not good at. There are ways you go, I'm shy, I can never do that. Like everything that's between you and your dream, I tend to turn into BS.
Mm. Right. They're all your excuses and justifications and the way you talk to yourself and really talk yourself out of fulfilling on your vision. Okay. So this feels like a good clue as to how you can learn how and what you're lying to yourself about. That's right. Like look at what's keeping you from the dream. That's right. Whatever your dream is. And then that really is the hook because the dream is worth it. That's your true self like I want.
I want to be that successful. I want to feel that in love. I want my sex life to feel like that. And then comes all the reasons you can't have it. And that becomes BS because that's what's between you and fulfilling on your dream. And really what I like to teach is you're here to fulfill on your dreams.
Obviously. And so can you give us some stories of like, because I imagine last year listening to this, or like, I don't want to tell them the truth. I don't want to clean this up. It's terrifying. So I think we got to kind of sell people on tell the truth a little bit. OK, fine. Like, give us some dreams, some miracles. Well, first, how I really do it is I don't go for the big ones.
Okay? Like, I just have people stop lying in social grease. Like, don't tell people you're happy when you're not. Actually, just tell everyone the truth about how you're feeling in the moment. You don't have to go into it, right? So I have people take that lie list and go, how do you do it? How do you do it on your insides? How do you do what? How do you lie? How do you exaggerate? What are you exaggerating? What are you pretending you're happier about that you're not?
What do you pretend you're like you need help with that maybe you don't? Like all the ways you're misrepresenting on the inside and on the outside. And so when it's just between you and a coach or you and yourself, you can start to see that telling the truth to yourself is actually really interesting. Like, oh, I am exaggerating that my relationship with my mother is really that bad.
Like it says, is it really that bad? It hasn't really been that bad. Like, why is it so bad? So you could start to question your own logic of how your, what I would say is automated into feeling stuck in your life. So unpacking lying gets you unstuck.
and starts to have you see that you're creating these barriers. Like, I can't tell you the truth. Why can't you tell them the truth? Why can't you ask for that raise? So most people, so I can think of every client is stopping themselves because they have a lesser opinion of themselves. And then when you start to figure out all the ways you lie, you can actually go, well, I could tell the truth about that.
I can say everything, right? Like you start to build the courage to have hard conversations that get you what you want. In bed with your kids, right? Like it has you start to change all your own dynamics. Yeah, so that feels like something we could, like some medicine. Is that better? Well, it wasn't really a sales pitch on the dreams. But I think let's, what I, since you touched on it. Okay.
What I think having hard conversations is a lot of what is ailing families, individuals, companies, countries, and which is ultimately a fear of telling the truth or fear of conflict.
And so I know that you have a beautiful format for this. I've used it. I've literally like written it out. I've done it. Many relationships, many co-workers. And so is that something you'd be willing to share with people listening of like here are the basics of having a difficult conversation?
So the first thing you do is you write the laundry list of everything you're pissed at, right? Like everything you, and then you, like first you have to purge, right? Like first you have to find out that you're pent up and you're pissed and you have a long list of things you don't think you can say. And then you say them, right to yourself or to someone who will, like you've just purge it all out. And then once you get it, you go, well, what am I really upset about?
like, oh, these are the four things that are really upsetting me. And then what do you think the outcome would be if they knew that? Like, what are your real fears? Right? You have a fear that if you tell the truth, they will fill in the blank. They won't talk to me anymore. They won't love me the same. They'll yell at me. They'll break up with me. They'll write. And
I can't save you from that it could happen. Right. I can't save you from the truth set. May set you free. It might make a mess, but it will set you free. So it is true. Things won't always go perfectly. Okay. So that is my warning label, everyone.
Okay. You've been warned. You've been warned. But you'd be surprised that when you lay out a conversation where you go, I have, I want to tell you the truth because I love you, because I want this relationship to be deeper, because there's things in this relationship where I don't feel safe to tell you things. And I want to be able to tell you
my list so that we can be closer. Like, what's the outcome and why you would be so brave as to tell the truth? Yeah, that feels really important. Like, where are we going? Why? I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm not saying this to be me. This is my intention in speaking the truth. I think that goes a really long way. That is the reason you would do it, right? That is exactly. I'm having this hard conversation with you to get us closer, to really feel vulnerable and intimate and have an amazing relationship.
Because I'm hiding these things and I don't, I don't, I don't feel as close as I could. And so you're also telling your secrets or you're sharing these things and you're not blaming them. These are not their fault. Everyone. Right. It's really important that you go, these are my issues that I've been hiding. And I want to tell you the truth so I can hear what you really think.
and that we can really negotiate and come to terms on my concerns or my issues or whatever I'm not telling you about. So it actually opens up the dialogue.
And then what you're talking about is you write it all out, right? You even scripted for those of us who are manifesters, you would design what you would say and why you're saying it, and even what you want to hear back from them. Like, and because a lot of it is we pretend we know what they're going to say back, which is why we can't say something, but we really don't. We have no idea what the person's going to say.
And then we are assuming that we're the one that has all the secrets on the lies versus, you know, not in a dirty way, but like not telling the truth. So are they, right? If you're holding back, what are the odds they're holding back? Right? So I'm having this conversation. So we both get to tell all our truths.
And so I'm going to go first and I'm going to tell you mine and these are the things I haven't said. You didn't invite me to that birthday party. You never did this. So there's this laundry list of things you're harboring. And even if you want to get mad at me or I owe you an apology, I want to have all of those dialogues with you so that we can put the past in the past.
Yeah, and it feels like the thing that I keep learning, because I mean, I definitely grew up feeling like in my nervous system that conflict equals death. Yes. And so it's been a big mountain to climb to speak the truth. And so the thing I keep telling myself is that conflict is an opportunity for greater intimacy. Conflict is an opportunity for greater intimacy if it's handled well. And something that I've learned from you is this idea of saying back what you heard, you know, in like the classic ABA conversation. Okay, I heard you say this.
Did I get that right? Is there anything else? When you're doing this, you're like, one, you get permission. You ask for consent. You're a very good student. I was more like, how do they even write it? There are two separate things. What you give is the preparation. What you're writing, all your conversations take at the lies out.
How do I even know what I need to say? What do I think? They're going to say, how do I want it to go? Why am I doing this? That's right. That's like a prep. And then we want to get consent. And then we want to have it. And then it's like, and then give them the opportunity to say back or give them the opportunity to share. And they do say back what you heard. That's right. I heard you say this. I see that you feel this. Yes. Did I get that right? Yes. Is there anything else? And it is wild.
I mean, I think Oprah Winfrey says that after her show, almost every person came over and said, how was that? How did I do? Like, we all just want to be seen. We just want to look good. We just want to be heard. So if you can say back to someone what you heard, the value in that is so powerful. Yeah. And I think, you know, because I teach this all the time, that we really think people hear us.
We really think what I said was clear. And it would be brilliant to figure out what you said will never be clear unless you get verification. Say that again? You will never know. I'm demonstrating it in real time. I don't know what you just said. So you don't know if the person heard you unless it's been verified. Like they say it back. So what did you hear me say?
Right? Because you can even just get something simple, not agreed upon. Yeah. Right? I don't know if I really want to go out for dinner, right? Like, and then the, like, what did you hear? Like the person didn't even hear you say, I don't want to go. Yeah. I mean, we're dealing with that right now in our relationship, right? Like we had a conversation. Yes. We didn't write it down. That's right. And now we're like having to retroactively remember something from four years ago. That's right.
And so I think I'm really learning a lesson loud right now of like say it and then write it down. Okay, like this is what we decided upon and this is what we agreed upon, especially with friends. Yeah, I definitely have that issue myself.
I certainly do and have been learning the hard way that I need to actually verify everything. You know, I don't get too mad about it. I accept it about myself, right? So another thing I teach is how to own your freak flags, right? Like what is really uniquely you and fly your freak flags, like own what's uniquely you, and then warn people.
Right. So they know what to expect. Um, and then they can choose you as you are or not. Right. Which is another way people don't tell the truth. Right. Which is this is who I'm going to be. I'm not going to feel bad about who I am. Right. So you know, this feels like an dating situation or an employee situation or your boss working together. It's just like, Hey, these are the ways that I'm awesome. And these are the ways that I'm challenging. Yes. So people can know what they're signing up for.
And then that's also one of the most liberating things in a relationship, which is another reason you have to get to what you're hiding, right? What you're not coming clean about with another person, you know, which is another way to think about it is that you're lying or hiding information about yourself, like hoping they're going to be okay with your dark side, like what isn't great about you, right? So you have to know what's great about you. And you also have to know what isn't great about you.
So because I know you, I know you've worked with some of the world's most successful entrepreneurs, fanciest celebrities. You've been in corporations, universities, schools, celebrities, movie stars. If you think about your deathbed slideshow and you're on your deathbed and you're just like, whoa, it's just all come out of the people that you work with, the companies you help build, the movies you help make. Is there anything that stands out of something you'd be particularly proud of?
in a way that, and I guess in, in relationship to this conversation, to where specifically like you help clean up their, you help them clean up their lives. And then magic happened on the other side. So I think, you know, because cleaning up lies, another way to say it is telling the truth, right? And so, and also sorting out your truth.
is a very brave act. And so one of the things I have people do is write their like greatest bucket list, right? For their dreams, right? Like if you could fulfill on your life, what would it be? And a lot of us are actually hiding and lying about what our greatest dreams would be.
because we're scared we're not going to achieve them. And so I get to pressure people to write their greatest dreams. And so what I am most proud of in my career is helping people chase the biggest dreams of their life.
that they really weren't chasing. And so I can think of, you know, Amir Questlove who's chasing his directing dreams, right? And once his music in stadiums, right? And was scared to want that, right? Like fully want that, like out of his mouth and big. And so I get people to deal with their fears or the way they're withholding their truth.
which I think is really. And so even Hugh Jackman's greatest list of what he would be achieving is such a privilege to get to know his greatest dreams.
And then to help make those happen, right? Like the greatest showman, right? Like the movie that there was like magic there. Oh, that was one of my favorite stories. Like that was an amazing story where he told the truth about needing to change, like re-edit it. Like he actually like went for it and definitely
it was one of it's like one of the greatest box office movies ever musicals ever and now there's like many more of those right so that's you know wicked was awesome right did you see it yet I had not yet I'm so excited
So I would say, I would say that we withhold our greatest dreams and I would like everyone to think of that as lies. Withholding your dream is a form of lying.
Meaning like if you're not willing to admit what your big dream is then that is a way that we lie to ourselves. That is exactly right. We withhold that life is meant to be what you wish it was, right? And then that doesn't mean it's all about achievement and it's all about it's actually just about pursuing your dreams. Yeah.
and believing in yourself, right? And then that makes you learn how to say everything that makes you learn like it creates the direction of your life. It's like the magnetism of the dream gives you the bravery to clean up the lies and to have the hard conversations.
And I've also found that, and I'm tuning into, have I always been an audacious dreamer or did you help me with that? I think it's been both. I think I am naturally a very audacious dreamer.
I mean, we go back to you having fears about, like, you know, you were with some teacher back in the day, right? Like, I don't even remember where you were, like, you were not, like, who me make it, like, like, I could do anything I want to do, including your sex magic and all your, like, everything. You have to dream your dreams, and then you have to, like, you need a,
Yes, I feel like my greatness, but I think if I'm too back to like eight-year-old Emily and I'm like, I'm gonna be on Broadway. You know what I mean? Like no question. I'm not too Broadway. Two days after I moved to New York, I get my Broadway debut. You know what I mean? I'm like, you know, like I just have always had an audacity to me. Yes. And then I think what happens in like our 20s and 30s, I speak for myself. Yes.
For me, I wasn't meditating yet and I got nervous and scared and human and adult and all the traumas pile up and we have stopped believing in our like, bigness and our audacity and our dreams. And so I feel like I get that you help remind people of that and their greatness.
I demand they write it up, right? So all of my work has a person deal with their voice and really dream and design their lives from thinking about that you can, that you're the spiritual architect of your life. That's good. And that if you're not designing it,
what's happening then, right? Like then you're just like, what is it if you haven't designed it? And then, and then I teach personal integrity, which is, you know, being able to keep a promise to yourself. So one of the things I always find is people are much better at keeping promises to everybody else. Because they have to, in order to keep people happy. But you know, you'll blow yourself off.
And so I'm like, I'm not managing who you are with other people. I'm managing who you are on the inside and with yourself on the outside. And that that is your soul. And your higher self would really love your lower self and your highest lower self.
and give you a chance to fly, but all of your lower self and your highest lower self are fear-based and practical and scared. And so I have come up with so many different ways to nail your own inner dialogue so that you can hear your truths, your dreams, and that you're willing to take the actions, which is the next big jump. Take the actions.
Yes. Yes. Yes. But this is why I think it's so important for people to have coaches because, like, to your point of, like, we will blow off provinces to ourselves. But if you know you're going to meet with that coach, it's like, well, did you do the thing you said you're going to do? Did you take the action on the dream? Did you write those lights? Because literally no one, I don't know anyone,
except for like maybe you and Laurie Gerber, who will like write down your lies and do this homework on your own unless someone is holding your hand and someone is like putting the mirror up to you and saying like, hey, this is costing you your dreams. And I would also, I'd love to talk about the relationship between like telling the truth, being in integrity and manifesting, right? Because obviously I'm big on manifesting and embodied manifesting.
So help us understand the relationship between telling the truth and manifesting your dreams.
Well, first you have to know your dreams, right? So you have to like be willing to have a dream, know your dream, whatever it is, big or small. Okay. Then as we've all, you know, you can either, and then I would say I developed a word, you can either be manifesting or man a fucking yourself. Right. And so when you're manifesting, you not only see it,
but you feel it and you're willing to take the actions that even come up in your own mind about what to do to fulfill on that dream.
So that's like the clear way to do it. Otherwise, what's happening, and I think this is happening, it's either you're either manifesting or manifesting in my book. And if you're manifesting yourself, you're literally thinking to yourself why it won't work, which is also manifesting that you can't have your dream, right? So your inner dialogue is always yammering at you. And you always have to know what it's saying because it's always directing your experience. And so we're never not manifesting.
We're never not talking to ourselves. And we're never not directing the story of our lives. And so this is all about taking over so you're true to your best life ever. And what I found is that the braver I am to tell the truth, the braver I am to clean things up, the more magnetic I become, the more magic happens, the more the manifestations happen.
And it feels like that's akin to, if you're not in integrity with yourself, if you're not managing this inner dialogue, then you're, then you're a man of fucking, or what I've, I've adapted, I think, to man-a-fearing, right? It's just like you're leading the beer around the ship. Yeah. Yeah. And, and everything you want,
usually has something to do with a person, right? Like in your job there's people with your kids. Like there is no way that your dreams aren't connected to what's coming out of your mouth and who you're talking to, how you're talking to yourself, and how you're talking in the world.
then if you're either being true to yourself and you know it or you're not like one of the promises I have right so as a coach I have everyone I have to I help people actually tell me their inner dialogue and I categorize it lower self highest lower self and then your talk back is your higher self like what is your higher self say to those two voices mm-hmm
And that's the game changer, right? And then especially if you have someone witnessing it, like actually caring, then you start to empower your higher self. Like, what do you really think? What do you really want to say? Most people don't even know they have to engage their higher self. Does that make sense? Like they'll just let the lies, let the fear, let it run the ship.
That's right. So if you're not decoding what you're thinking, by telling on it and witness, like if you're not the witness to the voices in your head, you can't take over. Well, that's very meditation like a video, right? It is like, no, we're knowing and known it's the observer and the observed. Thank you. So can you give us a little window into how has meditation impacted your life and your work?
Well, I always love the way you described it, which was meditation is healing and making your hardware great. And the handle method and life coaching was how you deal with your software. Yeah. So I would say that my ability to be the witness to all the thought chaos meditation profoundly helps me
watch it go by, right? And, and realize that there's in life and of life. And in life is, what am I doing? Why am I doing? Why am I doing? It's never gonna, like, shh, right? And of life is like, Oh,
to be human, right? Like, oh, all your memories, everything, like one day I'll be 80. I know that I once was six, right? Of life can hold all of it and be the witness to everything happening in the moment. And so I think meditation
is that depth and understanding. And if you don't have it, meditate. For sure. For sure. Because I do find that without it, like if you do not have a way to get out of that involuntary survival mechanism, that involuntary fight or flight,
then it's just much more challenging to do this work. It's much more challenging to face the fears to tell the truth because the nervous system can hijack it unless you have someone just literally being like, if you don't do this by Thursday, I'm firing you. It's a client. It's like you need someone who's going to threaten the fear more than the fear is threatening you. And I find that if you're meditating, if you're regulating your nervous system every day with Ziva twice a day, it's like
Yes, the fear is still there. Yes, the stories are still there. But with equal measure and the ability to choose which voice you want to listen to is this highest self is the of life voice is the witnesser. Yes. And that is extraordinarily powerful.
obviously in all of life, but I think especially for people who are doing medicine work, coaching work, because then it's giving you, like you said, the hardware, right? Like now you can't run fancy brand new software on an old PC from 1995. Like it just literally won't run. And that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to fit AI levels of information in very stressed out brains. I love that. So we got to upgrade these brains of ours. Yes. And the software, equal measures.
Yes. And then it's also, even when you get everything you want, being actually learning how to be at peace and happy with what you have is also a kicker. Well, we were just having a conversation about exited founders. People who work so hard to build these companies, make all this money, they exit, they have piles of cash, they think they're going to be happy.
Now what? Exactly. Now what do I do? That is a huge... We think once we get it, once you get to that weight on the scale, once you get married, once you have your baby, once you've started your business, then you'll be happy. We have this moving target. And so I do think enjoying being alive.
isn't of concept, which comes from meditation and just being. Yeah, even as you're saying this, I feel like I'm having the realization of we play this joke on ourselves. We're like, in this story, like, oh, I'll be happy when I call it the all be happy when syndrome. Yes. My happiness will come on the other side of something. Yes. But we also have an equally prevalent lie of
this thing this thing I'm afraid of is going to be so bad when it happens. That's right. Like I just came kicking and screaming moving into the country and now I love it. Like the joke is that the thing I was so angry about and so scared of. Yes. I now love. Yes. I think someone that I read some quote the other day that was like you're going to find out that you jump off the cliff that you were so terrified of to find out that it was a feather bed.
Yes, we make nightmares in our mind, right? Like, you know, so and we're at the end of a year and I do, and everyone who takes interview can be in master classes with me, right? And so we're, and what's interview? Inner you is, so I have inner you life, inner you love and inner you career.
And you could say all of my content that I've ever developed over my 20 some odd years is in each of those programs. And it's a digital like modules listen and then has an app and every and then there's all ways to track your promises. It's it's awesome. It is really really good. It is awesome. It's really good.
And so basically, and but once you buy one program, you can be with me for the rest of your life, right? And I love teaching every week, right? So it's, so what's happening is we're all keeping promises. We're all ending the year. We're all right. And then the biggest thing that people think is so scary is facing failure, right? Like can you face your failures?
And then when you get a whole group of people going, I failed at this. Me too, me too. Everyone just can love themselves because they went for it and it didn't turn out. And then it starts to have the zone of what you're doing in your life and then being of life. And I think that that is a required in order to really even be an amazing achiever.
you have to not give a shit, too. I like to say detachment is sexy. And I think meditation helps you to be detached because you're plugging into the observer. That's right, that's right, right? Because this has to be the fun of being alive is making all of these things happen. And your dreams are like what you're doing in between eating and sleeping, right?
Oh, your dreams are what you're doing between eating and sleeping. I love that. That's right. And yet, I find that we get so busy doing all the rest of the stuff besides our dreams. That's just fear. That's just avoiding the big ones. I think, I think, well, so... According to science. What's here? According to science. Over 80% of our thoughts are negative. Well, fear-based.
which is like worry and to-dos, right? And only 20% of our thoughts are like, yay, positive what you really want to be thinking about. And so when I understood that, I would go, oh, you know what I do for a living is I get people dreaming like talking to the 20% and growing the 20%. And even making sure
that what you're saying to yourself is only not positive, but actually dream-based, love-based. Even if you're sitting in the car, make sure you're listening to music and singing up a storm, right? Like, are you having fun being alive?
Well, it feels like fun is the antidote to both the all be happy when syndrome and the this cliff is going to kill me syndrome. I agree. It's like the more fun we can have right now, the more present we're going to be right now, the better we feel right now, the more magic we're going to attract.
And it doesn't absolve you from the responsibility of telling the truth. It doesn't make the fear go away, but it does put you into your body right here right now, which is the only place that bliss can happen, which is here and now. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. And so developing as if it's a two-lane highway, your ambition and all the things you want to achieve is not the same thing as are you happy in your life.
Okay. Same more about that. Are you happy in your life? Do you tell the truth? Do you respect yourself? Do you like how you are in your life with all those achievements? You could be an achiever, but you could be the greatest worry wort there ever was. As you're doing it, you're so intense. You scare your kids as you're cleaning. There's how you are being, which is the meditation and the of life.
what it is you're doing and what you're doing should be the dreams, but who you're being should be your personality and how you're interacting with life. So I always separate the two.
This is so interesting because we just did our offsite for Ziva. And it was, I emailed about this. It was one of the scariest emails I've ever written. Because I realized that the offsite, I was like, oh no, the team is wildly out of integrity. The company, the company is out of integrity. They were burned out, they were stressed out, they were exhausted.
And I was like, oh no, what have I done? How did we get here? And it's like, we've been very successful. We launched a new program. We migrated websites. We did a new learning platform. We were down half a team. So on paper, we had accomplished a lot. But I was like, oh no, at what cost? That's right. And so we spent the whole offsite basically just cleaning shit up.
And I just sat one by one and I let every single one of them tell me everything that had upset them and then what had cost them and the ways that they were hurting. And then we burned it into the fire and we danced. And then the next day, with all of that space that we created, with all of that integrity, we were able to dream this 10X dream. That's it. That's the model. That's exactly the method. That's exactly it. Purge, tell the truth, deal with all the crap, own it all, and then have a vision.
but also put in rules. Yeah. So now it's like the principle of like say the truth in real time with love and then we're going to accordingly clean up. We're just like once a quarter, we're doing like, you know, all the stuff that hasn't been said now is the time to say it. And I think that the way I'm making this a win is like, if we were able to accomplish what we accomplished being out of alignment integrity, like imagine what we're going to be able to accomplish now that things are more clean, you know?
I mean it's when I go into a company and we get everyone to be allowed to say everything that doesn't work like all we have your negative freak flags. Right. And so you're allowed to tell on everybody's negative freak flags.
And then what you're gonna do to like how to clean up your freak flag, it's a game changer because you're not bad for having one. Everybody has them. And as long as the CEO is willing to like throw their freak flags out and then everyone gets to tell it's the game changer of using the truth to set everyone. And people who are telling on themselves are telling each other. Both. Right. You make your own freak flags. Right. You come to the meeting prepared with what you think everyone else is gonna say.
about you. Yeah, yeah, you know, right? And so, and then they say, right? And then you write out your own, and then everyone's allowed to, you know, I'm translating them all so they're not reading, right? And so we're figuring them out. And then what happens is, is you start, and then we just start making a rating from one to five.
You know, one is you're doing great, five is you sock, right? And then the game is to change that freak flag to stop doing it, right? So there's all these ways to make it safe to tell the truth and to stop pretending you're supposed to be perfect.
Yeah, I think that's the thing is that I had someone there facilitating the offsite and he works with like, you know, let's just like some of the titans in the industry. Yeah. And he was like, I just want you to know that this is very common, that like whatever the thing is that the person is selling oftentimes shows up in the company. And I think had he not like been saying that to me, I would have been too ashamed.
You know, I would have felt like, oh, like the shame would have actually taken over because I would have felt like I'm failing. I've done something hardly wrong. But because it was like, no, like this is the medicine, right? Like you're teaching meditation and your company stressed out. You solve it inside of the company. You're going to be even more equipped to help the people that you're helping. And so it was like, OK, I'm just going to take this medicine and just realize that it's a spiral of healing and not a straight line. So it was a big, it was a big learning.
Thanks. Yeah, I felt really proud of myself. It was really hard and scary and sad, but I'm sharing it because I imagine that there are lots of people listening who have something they're like, they don't want to deal with or feel like there's a piece of shame or something they don't want to admit. And it's like, if we can remove the shame and just see that this is our medicine, this is the syllabus. And if we can lovingly tell the truth that we don't know what kind of magic will happen, but we know that it will be magic.
Yeah, no, you know, I can just this week, right? So I'm having someone who's building a business is writing her parent letters, like getting resolved and everything she never said to her parents. But if you look at what she's never dealt with and said to her parents and you go, is that what's happening in her business?
It has a badumpo, right? And so the revelation of taking full responsibility of all the way she didn't talk to our mother or have all those conversations was exactly the way she was with her business partner.
was like, boom, like, oh my God. And then she could go back to the business partner and do her true laundry list of everything she hasn't said, but start to own it from like, I do this. I don't do this. I now see this. Right. And then, and then you still get to tell the whole truth of everything that wasn't working.
Mm-hmm. So it's owning it. You're owning that it's your vantage Mm-hmm right and it changed everything with like went from mom to business partner in a way that you know in one week Which is also like what you're saying it can change everything a lot quicker. Yeah
And then you get to that from figuring out what you're lying about or what you're hiding or accepting. Another word for it that I think might actually help people is I have another client that I can think of. Tolerating, like another way to get to your list is everything you're tolerating in your life. You wish you weren't tolerating or that you wish wasn't so, like you wish it wasn't true. And that's also a lie list.
Like everything you're tolerating is a way you're lying and accepting things that you're really not happy with. Yeah, that's good. That's good for like the recovering codependents, people, pleasers. What are we tolerating? What are we overcompensating for? That's right. That's right. Yes.
Yes. So how can people take an action? They're like, okay, I want to start telling the truth. I want to clear my lies. I want to stop tolerating. I want more magic. I want to be of my life, not in my life. How would you recommend people start? Pick one area of your life.
Write the dream, write a vision for yourself, where you want to be in a year. With the love of my life, write a dream.
a vision and then make a list of all the things your head says for why it can't happen like all the ways cannot cannot happen or why it's hard or what what you're blaming and really believing that's breaking your own heart. Right from thinking you can have that dream exactly the way you want it.
And that's a lie list, right? And that list itself of all the ways you're believing that, it really has some like, well, if I wasn't believing this, and I really wanted that dream, what would the action list be? I'd be on a dating side. I would start looking for a new job. I would what?
Right? And trust me, you can sit with your friend and do this with each other and on each other. Like, you know, it may not be ideal to do it alone.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, so okay, so I'm gonna write a lot of pick an area of my life like let's say it's either career or body or Relationship, so I'm gonna write down. Okay. This is my dream of dreams relationship Right write that down doesn't have to be long write a couple paragraphs Yeah, and I mean from anyone who's listening who's in a marriage take your sex life
Okay. Right. Like, what would you like it to be? Because that also gets boring and, you know... Yeah, just because you're in a relationship does not mean you can't have your dream relationship. That's right. We can mold this into our dream. And, you know, you have a willing participant. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Okay, so you write your dream and then you write all the reasons that your head is saying I can't have that. That's right. Everything you're blaming all the excuses you have for why that's not possible. Okay. And then what do we do? And then you go, well, what I always do, what promise, one promise you could make that would change your life in that area.
Okay, so we have not talked about promises and consequences, but this is something that we talk about a lot and especially with meditation, it's so valuable and I quote you all the time. I love that. Where it's like your promise of meditation was like, I can't have coffee until I do my morning meditation. That's still the right promise I have. And I can't have screens until I do my second meditation. That's right. Yeah, it's so simple.
Works right if you're willing if you actually have personal integrity like you'll keep a promise with yourself Right every coffee drinker in the every coffee drinker Don't have coffee till you meditate and everyone even agrees with that Yeah, right and or you know don't have your phone in the room is another like really bad of that one
Right. Because then what do you do? I mean, it just feels like, OK, music, audible, alarm clocks. Like, I need a device that is not my phone that does all the things that I now am dependent on for electronics. This is a solvable problem. People have solved this problem. Did she just say, buy an alarm clock?
But also something that would play Audible and something that would, you know, I listen to books as I go to sleep. Well, now you're doing something else. If you love your rituals, I'm not, if you love your rituals, then that's not it, right? Like, I don't have a phone problem. Okay, I do. I don't have a phone problem. I do. Okay, so that, so you need to, so now we're into what is the, maybe I need a lot of clock that gives me bedtime stories. There's certainly someone's invented this. Something, something, or just like,
that, you know, device. Yeah, there's some device that would solve your problem. Yeah, like an iPad or something. I was thinking about that. But I have an extra iPad that I do not use. It's like not connected to the internet. Like it's not, it's not working well, right? Like it's not, it's not audible. It doesn't have your email on it. It doesn't have anything you really could get like down the wormhole on. Okay. Yeah, solvable problem. Yeah. So this is, this is, this is the process.
Like, like only a higher self will negotiate how to kick that thing out. But the lower self and the highest lower self are like, but you need it. And I like it. And right. So your vices need get their ass kicked. But it has to be for a dream.
which is why do you want to go to bed differently, right? And I really do keep promises with all of my clients and they all need vice promises, like seriously. So just for people who are new to the promises and calls it ways, the promises is something that you're agreeing to and it has a specific deadline. There's like, I'm going to do X by X, right? So it's like I'm doing X amount of things by X amount of time, very specific. Not like, I'm going to be healthier or I'm going to go to the gym more.
It's like, no, I'm gonna go to the gym for 20 minutes, minimum, at least three times a week, every week. And if I don't, the consequence then, and this is something that I learned from you that I love so much, is the consequence is not punitive. It is not harming you, but it is coming after your vices. That's right. And I love this idea that the consequence comes after your vices that you're using your vices to fuel your dreams, which is just genius. That's right. That's, I needed that, right? In order for me to
get weed, right? I have to have everything done, you know, so that I, right, like, so it's like you use your vices or reward. So yours is wine. It's like, okay, I've meditated twice. That's right. I've gone to the gym. I've done the thing with my kid and like, and then I can have wine. Yes. And then if you can't keep
If you can't keep a promise, it really is a vice and then it's headed for sobriety. If you can't keep a promise with yourself and keep your own consequence, that area is an addiction. And then you have to, that's a different pickle. It's a different coat. That's a different problem. And it's really worth facing that too, which then usually scares most people into keeping their promises and consequences.
Because they don't want to be identified as having an addiction like a real one that they can't master or Manage like it has you you don't have it. Yeah
Is there anything that you wish that I had asked you, anything you're like, man, I really wanted to share about this? I think it's hysterical because I just wrote a new book, right? I just wrote a new book. And in the new book, there are over, there's like over 25 ways humans lie. Well, right. So seven.
So, so as you're like, as I hear you being like, Lauren, how are you going to get anybody to want to deal with their lies? Like this is such a heavy, I'm like, but it's so amazing. It's the best. It's where your higher self lives. And then I'm like, Oh, there's so much more lying that we're doing. I'm like, and I don't think anyone's really talking about that. About about how much humans lie, lie to themselves, lie, but we can now see it in America. Right. How much lying is ruling?
Mm-hmm. It's getting real loud. Yeah, so I just want to say
It's the only way out, right? It's like really that so I don't have any question you should have asked. I've just been like, I understand it's scary to to think about or talk about, but and it's also the thing that you that you are most scared of with other people that they're lying to you. Right? You're scared. They're not telling you the truth. Interesting. I don't have that fear. I just assume everyone is telling me the truth. Yeah, you'll you'll you'll read my
Can we get the title yet or is it still a secret? It's still, well, it's not like, it's not, it's not, you know, the publishers have opinions and it's in its own timeframe. Okay. So no, I don't really know it yet. Okay. But it might be maybe it's them.
Because your first book is called, maybe it's you. So this is after you fully take responsibility and you tell the truth and you do everything you can. It's like, what do you do when there really is them, right? When there really is the rest of the world that isn't operating like you wish it was.
I'm fascinating, fascinating. And so if people want to work with you right now, actually one more question before I wrap up, and that is, is there anything that you feel like the world is not quite ready for? But that is medicine that you would love to disseminate.
I think we really like, you know, the only thing that I think about is I really hate the word confrontation and that people thinking that telling the truth is a confrontation, right? And it makes like it's not, it's your truth. And then there's results that happen by telling the truth and you'll have to stop manipulating everything, right? Like it's such a con that the truth gets such a bad rap.
It's like I'm pissed and no one's ready to face how the truth gets such a bad rap, right? And that I can't believe we still don't believe in telling the truth yet and that everyone still thinks lying is a virtue.
What's interesting is that I think as you're saying that we do almost fetishize the truth. We write poems about it, write songs about it. This idea of the truth, but I think what is overshadowing that is the shame around identifying oneself as a liar.
And only the dark side would make it a nightmare to tell the truth. It is so the dark side to make the truth the bad guy. Like, oh, everything's going to fall apart. Everything's going to be terrible. If you tell the truth about your life and what you want and what you think, it'll be a disaster.
Well, like, amazing, right? Like, that is like the darkest, like, lying winds and the truth is confrontation. Well, I feel like we could do instill this with our parenting because I'm, I mean, I have a philosophy with my son, like, look, if you tell me the truth, it's going to be, I can't say you're never going to get in trouble because that's not true. Like, there might be consequences to him telling me the truth.
But I try to be very specific and say, like, if you tell me the truth, it is always going to work out better for you. It's always going to be better. And he did it. He's like, mommy, do you have cameras on me? And I was like, what do you mean, buddy? I was like, did you get up and get snacks last night? And he just starts laughing because I didn't get him dessert. He went to bed with that dessert, which was a consequence to an action. And so then he fully got up the next morning and got snacks. But he told me. And I was celebrating that he told me.
I see now that that's that's exactly the funky rub of telling the truth right and then I agree with exactly what you just did right my kids were always allowed to tell the whole truth and I wasn't allowed to control them because of it.
So is it, but was there ever consequences? Did they ever tell you something? We're like, oh, another, this is against the rule. You've broken, you've broken a law, you've broken integrity or whatever. And that there was some reaction to that. Like, did they get in trouble ever for telling the truth? Is what I'm asking? No. No.
No, right. We didn't, I really was not, you know, if you're not going to control, you know, sex and drugs and they were allowed to, you know, they don't get to drive, right? Like, you make sure they're healthy and well. But if you're not going to, like, control it or even control how good you do in school, then the kid has nothing to lie about.
Right, so I wasn't trying to make sure they got straight As and I wasn't trying to make sure they never had a drink Or could shag anybody they want like it's like I really Was I'd rather know you and your soul and everything you want your life to be then I'm gonna control it and the only thing I care about is you you know Eat three meals you sleep You go to bed right like you're healthy and clean and you go to all your doctors, right?
Humans are hilarious. I love how different our priorities all are. Okay. So how can people find you? Where can people find if they want to coach with you personally, if they want to do inner you, if they want to read your book? Can you tell us all the things? Okay. So I'm Lauren Sander. And you can definitely find me on Instagram. You can find me anywhere. What's your handle on Instagram? Right. You have a lot of them. Yes. So we have inner you.
Mm-hmm with a you inner with any are you you I agree, right? Well, no, no, no, there's it's so one of my websites is inner you dot you know dot coach mm-hmm and then Lauren Zander Lauren Handel Zander is You can find me on Instagram. Yeah, that's my Instagram
Great. So inner you.coach. Yes. And Lauren Handel Zander on Instagram. That's right. And then Handel Group is my website. Okay. Right. And so all roads lead back to finding me. But inner you is my digital programs. Yeah. And we'll put a link to that as well in the show notes because it's so it really is like as a as a woman who created the world's first online meditation training back in 2013.
So I've been in this game for a very long time. It is an extraordinary online course, like the layout, the content, the interactivity, the way you feel supported, the design of it. I mean, it's so you. It's so like quirky and weird and brilliant and awesome and effective.
Yeah. And I think it's hard to communicate how much, like if you really did interview, like soup to nuts, like your life is gonna look so extraordinarily different. Like you will clean up your hauntings, you will write parent letters, you will learn how to have difficult conversations. Like it's all in there. Like you really put it all in there. It's all in there. And I think the trick is like,
Having the discipline to really do it all yourself And I think that's why I think many of us need coaches because it's like okay Well, this is on my calendar and there's another human holding my hand and now I put money in the game And so do you take on personal clients still you have a team of coaches like how does that work? I have so I am always open for business for new clients, but I'm pretty expensive
And then I go into companies and I have a group of coaches who are either licensors or work directly, you know, or who are employed with Handel Group. So come find us. Great. We rock.
Yeah, it's really been like a lot of the personal and professional success has come from our coaching together and cleaning up the lies and being brave enough to dream really big. And so thank you. Thank you for that. All right, sweet friends. I hope that you have enjoyed this very
Honest very truth telly episode of why isn't everyone doing this with the amazing Lauren Zander? If you enjoyed this episode if you learned something about yourself or telling the truth or cleaning up lies or promises and Consequences you can take a screenshot of this and share it on Instagram. I'm at zeba meditation She's at interview coach and her just interview. What's the Instagram interview doc coach in it? But what's the Instagram? I think there's interview doc coach on I don't know I'm gonna find we're gonna search for it
Welcome to one of my freak flags. More is not the admin person, you guys. But if you enjoyed this screenshot, it tag us, find us. Let us know what you enjoyed. Also, if you leave a five star rating and share in the comments, what were your ahas? That really helps to get this media as medicine out into the world. And as always, if you want to learn more about Ziva, you can find us over at zivameditation.com. I love you and I will see you next week on why isn't everyone doing this?
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